Forever

Author's Notes to Follow... ---------------------------

Disclaimer ----------

The story contained here is entirely in the (possibly unbalanced) mind of its author. As much as I might like to bear Kevin's children (which would be nothing short of a miracle), I have no idea if he or any of the other BSB is actually gay. Now that Kevin's engaged, I have a good idea that he's not. If any of the BSB read this story and are offended, they should certainly exercise their right to free speech and e-mail me to complain all about it. Readers should enjoy the fantasy, but remember that reality may be (and probably is) dramatically different.

Don't read this little tale of love if you're too young where you live. Don't read this little tale of love if it's illegal where you live. If either of those two things applies to where you live, I recommend that you MOVE!!! (I hear Florida's a pretty nice place!!)

Previously on 'Forever'...

I walked down the hall, lost in thought. I'd made it through another weekend. Friday night at Lindsay's had helped, but I was basically back where I'd started. Not sleeping, not really eating, pretty much miserable.

The phone calls had increased on Saturday, now starting to come in the middle of the night. More vague promises to send me to hell pretty soon. I made a mental note to call to get my number changed. Not that I was likely to remember in my foggy mental state.

I pushed out the front door, continuing on in my own little mental world. I hadn't heard from Kevin since last week. We'd been playing phone tag since then. He was out in LA at the moment, and the time zone difference was really screwing us up.

In a way, it was ok. I was getting so paranoid about letting on anything to him about what I was dealing with. I was constantly worried about revealing the wrong thing, about doing something to add to his worries.

Someone's voice shouting came at me from a distance, but I ignored it. Unfortunately, I couldn't ignore the horn or the screech of the brakes on the car that I'd just stepped in front of.

And now...'Forever'...

Chapter 62

I felt an arm grab hold of my shirt, yanking me back out of the path of the speeding car. I stumbled a bit, grabbing onto whoever it was that'd just saved my life.

"Damn, Dylan, watch what the hell you're doin'!" It was Zach, one of my coworkers. We sat down the aisle from each other. He was pretty cute in a big, football lineman kind of way. And he'd just saved my neck.

"Thanks, Zach. Sorry. I just had my mind on something else," I said, trying to slow my heart a bit.

"Well, you almost had it spread out on that guy's windshield," he said. He seemed to stop and take a look at me. "Damn, man, you look like he DID run you over. Come on. We're gettin' coffee. You're buyin'." I nodded and followed after him, not even acknowledging the fact he'd just volunteered my money to pay.

"Now, tell me what's up," he said after we'd settled at a corner table in the coffee shop. I took a sip of my iced coffee before I started.

"You know about me, right? About who I'm dating?" He nodded. "Well, about a week, week-and-a-half ago, someone out there decided that it was my fault."

"What was your fault?"

"Kev being gay. It somehow got started that Kevin was just some kind of victim, that I'd somehow turned him gay. Seduced him with my homosexual wiles, I guess," I tried to make it sound funny, but my voice was too bitter.

"That's retarded," he replied. He was always one to get right to the point.

"Well, tell that to them," I said.

"Who?"

"Fuckin' everyone, Zach!" I practically screamed. "His fans, reporters, terrorists, my family," I rattled off.

"Wait, your family?" I sighed.

"My dad's brother and sister aren't exactly all that fond of me. We've never been particularly close, but then they decided that I was responsible for Dad dying, and it just got worse. So, they went to a few reporters and basically painted me as a lying, shameless, corrupt, perverted guy, one responsible for beating up their brother at their mother's funeral, then driving him to an early grave shortly thereafter."

"When people heard that, it was pretty much over. After all, it's my family, right? They should know what I'm really like. Obviously, I'd duped Kevin into believing I'm something I'm not, somehow seduced him to `my side', thereby ruining yet another life."

"That's a crock of shit. Anyone who knows you knows you're not like that," he said.

"It doesn't matter now, Zach. These people don't know me. They never have. And, now that they've made up their minds, they never will. It doesn't matter where I go or what I do, people will still always believe that I did this to him."

"Have you told him about it?" he asked me.

"Hell no. I can't do that to him, Zach. He feels guilty enough that I've suddenly been thrust into the spotlight. If he found out about this..." I trailed off.

"Terrorists," he said out of nowhere.

"What?" He'd lost me.

"You said before that everyone was after you. Fans, reporters, and terrorists. What were you talking about?"

"Nothing, Zach. Just some jackasses who got ahold of my phone number. They've decided to see if they can drive me insane by calling me all hours of the night. I haven't slept right in days. I'm gonna try to get my number changed." I didn't mention the nature of some of the phone calls.

He nodded in sympathy. I could see his mind working, although I had no idea about what. He and I weren't particularly close at work. He was a nice guy, but we just hadn't spent all that much time together.

"I'm sorry it's been so rough for you, Dylan," he said, reaching out to squeeze my arm. "I wish there were something I could do to help you. But I do think one thing."

"What's that?"

"You need to tell Kevin. Don't let him find out later from someone else. Tell him so the two of you can work it out together."

I nodded. I wouldn't promise to do it, but it couldn't hurt to consider the idea. And, he'd had a point I hadn't thought about before. Kevin would be very hurt and probably a little angry if he found out about this from someone else.

We stood up, then. To my surprise, Zach gave me a hug. Luckily, the coffee shop was pretty empty at the moment. But, I had to admit, it felt nice to be held. Damn, I needed my man back.

Another Friday, and another week away from Kevin. This was three now. But it felt like three hundred. We hadn't spoken in several days. We'd just passed `I love you' messages back and forth on each other's voice mail. His management was squeezing every drop of publicity they could out of the guys.

And, for the group at least, it was paying off. Record sales had climbed a bit, on-line polls indicated that fans were coming around to Kev's announcement, and they were climbing back up the charts with `Spanish Eyes'.

I wondered to myself how much of that fan comeback was due to the belief that Kev was somehow not to blame for his choice. That his `evil boyfriend' had done it to him.

I sighed as I sat down in my recliner. It didn't matter why, I guess. It only mattered that, for now, anyway, the guys weren't going to lose their careers over this. Over me.

I, on the other hand, was near losing my sanity. I hadn't slept in days. It wasn't due to phone calls, though. Thankfully, those had stopped after I got my phone number changed. Luckily, explaining the reason for the change to Kevin had been pretty easy. Too many reporter phone calls, I told him.

I wasn't sleeping cause I was worried. I had no idea how we were ever going to make a life together now. Even if the belief wasn't as widespread as I thought it was, there were a lot of people out there who loved him and hated me. They believed I'd done wrong by him somehow.

There was a knock at the front door. I hoped it wasn't another reporter. When I opened the door, I was rather surprised to see AJ.

"AJ, what're you doing here? Aren't you guys supposed to be in Seattle?" He pushed me aside and came in the house.

"We are, but I hopped a flight down here when I saw this. Dylan, you've got some explainin' to do," he said, his voice thick with anger. He'd obviously been stewing about whatever was wrong for a while.

"About what?" I was lost.

"This!" he yelled, thrusting a newspaper in my face.

"Backstreet `fiance' playing the field," I read from the headline of the article. "Dylan Weston, controversial fiance to the Backstreet Boys' Kevin Richardson, apparently took a little time off of those duties on Monday. He was seen with another unknown man in a Tampa Starbuck's coffee house..." I trailed off from there. There was a picture of Zach and I hugging next to the article.

"Oh, you've gotta fuckin' be kidding me," I whispered, dropping into the chair.

"No, we're not `kidding you'," he replied, his voice laced with sarcasm. "How could you do this, man?"

"Do what, AJ? Have coffee with a coworker? Gee, I don't know, lemme think a minute," I replied, standing to tower over him, my own voice heavy with sarcasm as well.

"Looks like a helluva lot more than coffee, Dylan," he ripped out.

"Well, AJ, I'd think that you, of all people, would know that a picture may be worth a thousand words, but sometimes the words are lies!" I yelled at him.

"Jesus H. Christ, AJ, I was about to walk out in front of a car when Zach grabbed me and pulled me back. Since I always seem to look like death warmed over these days, he asked what was wrong. We went for coffee. I told him what was happening. He offered me some sympathy. When we stood up to leave, he gave me a hug," I said this last while thrusting the newspaper picture back at him.

"And, obviously, someone decided that it'd be interesting to see me splashed out in the newspaper. Maybe they were trying to see if I could get any more hate mail than I already had. Maybe they were just trying to see if they could push me over the edge. FUCK, AJ, MAYBE THEY WERE JUST JEALOUS OF THE FACT THAT HAVING KEVIN FOR A BOYFRIEND IS CURRENTLY DESTROYING MY LIFE!!!"

I collapsed back into the chair. This was over. I couldn't deal with it anymore. I didn't know how, but I was ending this. All of it, AJ, me...Kev. HE was the reason that I was willing to endure, and we couldn't even be together. It wasn't worth it anymore.

I felt AJ's hand on my shoulder. He started to squeeze it. I reached up and pushed his hand away. I had no desire for sympathy from him at the moment.

"It's over, AJ," I whispered.

"What?" he sounded shocked.

"You heard me, AJ. I thought I could do this. I thought I was strong enough to get through this, that I could stand by Kevin if people turned on him."

"But, they didn't turn on him, AJ. They turned on me. And Kevin's not here to help ME through this. And I can't ask him to come. He needs to be out there with you guys, seeing fans, dealing with the public."

"I haven't slept a night through in weeks, AJ," I said, finally looking up at him. "I can't walk down the street anymore without at least one person recognizing me and basically attacking me right there. Hell, I can't even have a cup of coffee with a coworker I barely know without one of my closest friends thinking I was cheating on Kev, can I?" He had the good grace to look guilty.

"I can't do this without him, AJ, and I can't ask him to come back here so I can lean on him. It wouldn't be fair to him."

"And breaking up with him is? Dylan, think it through, man." I surged out of my chair, pacing.

"I can't, AJ, don't you get it?" I screamed. "I can't think. I can't function! I haven't gotten a single fuckin' thing done at work in a week. I can barely focus enough to drive back and forth from here to there!"

"Dylan, I'm sorry, man. We got so caught up in trying to save our careers that we forgot about what might be happening at home. I can't believe that Kev would let you keep going through this," he said.

"He hasn't, AJ. I haven't told him any of it. You saving your careers is exactly what he needs to be focused on," I replied.

"The fuck it is, DJ," he replied.

"DJ?" I asked, stupidly. He'd never called me that. Actually, no one'd called me that since I was about ten years old.

"Yeah. DJ. What does it matter?" I sighed at his question.

"Ya know what, AJ, it doesn't. It doesn't matter. I'm tired. Not sleepy, not overworked. I. Am. Drained. I don't wanna fight with you anymore. I just want this to be done. So, I'd appreciate it if you'd go. I'll give Kevin a call and let him know...let him know what I've decided."

"No," he replied.

"Excuse me? This isn't a discussion, AJ. I wasn't asking for a vote here," I said.

"I'm not leaving you here, Dylan. Pack a bag, I'm taking you to Seattle with me," he said.

"Like hell you are," I replied.

"Dylan," he softened his voice, coming to stand right in front of me. "If you're gonna rip my best friend's heart out, then you're damn well gonna have the balls to do it in person. Or you and me are gonna have a problem."

Chapter 63

"Ladies and gentlemen, in preparation for landing, please make sure that your seatbelts are securely fastened, and that your seatback and tray tables are in their full and upright position." The flight attendant droned on from there, but I ignored it. I'd heard it a hundred times before, anyway.

AJ was sitting next to me on the aisle. I was staring out the window, looking down at the lights of Sea-Tac airport. We'd be on the ground pretty soon. And I'd be responsible for `ripping the heart out' of my boyfriend.

I knew, somewhere deep down, that I wasn't really thinking straight. But, it felt like it didn't matter anymore. I was so tired all the time. I was so guilt-ridden that so many of Kevin's fans hated me so much. I wasn't sure why I felt like that, but I did.

I felt AJ's hand touch mine. I looked around and realized that somehow we were on the ground already. I hadn't even noticed the landing. I slowly unfastened my belt and stood, grabbing my bag from the overhead compartment before making my way out of the plain and up the jetway.

Tom was there to greet us. I was a little surprised to see him, as it'd been quite a while since we'd been together. He politely greeted me and took the bag from my hand. I let him, cause I was too lost in my own thing to pay attention.

The drive to the hotel seemed brief to me. AJ and I didn't speak at all. I was having a hard time reading him. I knew he must be mad at me because of this, but he really didn't seem like it. He was just...AJ.

He led me inside the hotel and across the lobby. I didn't even stop to consider where I was going to stay. I was too nervous now, knowing what was coming. He took me to a room, apparently on their floor, then told me to wait before walking out.

He came back in a few moments later. As I expected, he had Kevin behind him. But, it wasn't just Kevin. ALL of the guys came in. I guess he expected me to do this with an audience. That was just what I needed.

"Dylan?" Kevin said my name, obviously surprised to see me. He walked over to me and took me in his arms, staring into my eyes.

"Hello, Kevin," I said, standing stiffly in the circle of his arms.

"What's wrong? What're you doin' here?" I couldn't answer. I just turned away from him and walked to the window. "AJ, what the fuck is goin' on?"

"Dylan has something he needs to tell you," AJ replied. "Don't you, DJ?" I sighed. The silence grew longer.

"I came to break up with you, Kevin," I whispered, unsure anyone would even hear me. Obviously they all did, as I heard a number of gasps from behind me.

"Wha...what?" Kevin asked.

"I'm sorry, Kevin," I continued in a near-whisper. "I thought I could do it. I thought I could handle whatever came up. But, I can't. I can't take the hatred, I can't take the stress, I can't take the lying to you and trying to make everything seem perfect in my life when nothing's going right, I can't, I can't, I can't..." the tears were falling from my eyes now. I just kept repeating `I can't' until I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I turned and saw Howie behind me. He reached around and wrapped me in a hug. It felt so good to be touched again, even just as a friend. I cried on his shoulder, practically drowning him in my tears.

"It's ok, Dylan," he whispered in my ear. "Let it go, man. Let us help."

And I did. For as long as the tears lasted. When I finally managed to settle down, I lifted my head and looked around. Kevin was on the bed, staring at the wall opposite him. Brian and AJ were on either side of him. Nick was behind Howie. I hadn't realized it, but there were two sets of hands on my back, and one had belonged to Nick.

"Now, you need to tell us what's been goin' on, man," Howie told me. I looked into those deep brown eyes of his. They were hypnotic, compelling me to tell what was happening.

So, I told him, and, by default, everyone else in the room, about everything that had happened since they'd left. The phone calls, the e-mails, the lack of sleep, the near-fatal step in front of the car, the picture with Zach. I spilled my guts. By the time I was done, I was crying again, sitting in a chair.

No one really said anything for a moment. I heard some murmurs, some movement, but I was beginning to fade. The lack of sleep lately kept me on a pretty short schedule, and it was a lot later in my hometown. Besides, all this crying and stuff had just drained me further.

I felt a hand on my cheek, nudging me to lift my face. I looked up into an emerald pool, wet with tears and filled with love and remorse.

"Sweetie, I had no idea you had it so rough. I'm so sorry. If I'd known, I'd have come home in a second," Kevin said.

"I know, Kev. That's why I couldn't tell you. You needed to be out here with the guys," I said.

"Dylan, that's ridiculous," he gently chided me. "Nothing is more important to me than you are. I wish I could get you to understand that. You're more important to me than anything, including my job."

"It doesn't matter now, Kevin," I said. "The damage is done. People HATE me for this, Kevin. People are threatening to kill me."

That brought another round of gasps. Had I forgotten to mention that part? Hmmmm, I wondered how that could've happened. Kevin put both hands to my cheeks and forced me to look into his eyes.

"Tell me," he ordered, his voice quiet but firm.

So, I did. I detailed what little I knew about the guy who'd been calling me. There wasn't much to go on, as the guy had never been kind enough to really fill me in on the important stuff, like his name, address, phone, etc.

When I was finished, Kevin just stared at me a moment longer. I guess he was checking to make sure that I'd told him everything. When he was satisfied with what he saw, he nodded and looked over to his cousin.

They communed with one another for a moment. Then, Brian nodded and walked out of the room. I wasn't really sure what that was about, but at that point, I didn't care.

"Now, Dylan," Kevin looked back into my eyes, his voice still firm. "Understand me. I love you. And I am NOT going to lose you just when I have a chance to actually BE with you. So, either you accept that fact, and I stay with the group, or you don't and I quit." I had to think about that for a second.

"Wait, if I agree to stay in your life, you'll stay with Backstreet, but if I leave you, you'll quit? What kinda screwed up logic is that?"

"About the same `screwed up logic' as you're using to justify leaving me," he said. He took a deep breath before continuing. "Dylan, we have a chance to make a life now. Yeah, we're a little more hindered than most couples because we'll be in the spotlight, but dammit, at least it's a chance. Which is more than we had before."

I stopped to think then. I knew I was probably being irrational. But I was so sick of all of this. I was tired of the stupid threats and of feeling like I was some kind of witch getting ready to be burned at the stake. If this is what it was like to live in the public eye, I'd rather not.

I stared deep into those green eyes of his. Could he do it? Could I do it? Maybe those were the wrong questions. The real question was, could we do it together? There was really only one way to find out.

"Are you going to be this bossy when we're married, too?" I wondered.

"Only if you're gonna be this stubborn and pig-headed when we're married," he said, his relief warring with the humor in his voice. He leaned in and kissed me.

"I'd say that's a yes, then," I mentioned.

"Now," he said softly next to my face, "will you PLEASE get it through that thick head of yours that my career means NOTHING to me if you're not in my life?" I chuckled softly.

"I guess I can grow to accept that," I whispered to him before kissing him, too.

"Well, it's about damn time," Nick broke in on us. "I was beginning to worry about havin' to tell Lindsay I'd let the two of you break up. I was afraid the surgery bills would bankrupt me," he joked.

"Yeah, she does pack a mean punch," AJ agreed.

"Punch? Who's talkin' `bout punches?" Nick wondered. "I was thinkin' of having to pay the proctologist for surgically removing every shoe she owns from my ass after she gets done kicking it."

We all laughed then. It was a funny image, if slightly exaggerated. Brian walked back in, obviously wondering what the joke was, but he let it go. Something brought me up short, though.

"Kev," I interrupted him. "As nice as all this bonding is, it still doesn't solve anything. It doesn't change the fact that your fans hate me. It doesn't change the fact that some jackass is threatening to send me to hell," I paused, quieting. "And it doesn't change the fact that tomorrow, I have to go home and start facing everything alone again."

"Then we need to do something about all that, don't we?" he asked, but didn't wait for an answer before turning to his cousin. "Well, B?" Brian nodded before turning to me.

"Dylan, I got Tom reassigned as your bodyguard. You seem comfortable with him, and he's someone we all trust." He turned to Kevin with a smile. "Management tried pitching a fit, but Tom told em he'd quit if they didn't give Dylan some security. They tried to hold his job over his head, but I told em we'd hire Tom on a personal basis, outside the Firm, if we had to. They caved."

"Ok, one problem solved. Tom'll handle keeping you protected," Kevin said.

"As for the fan issue, there's only one way to solve that. You need to be out there with us, doing interviews and stuff. Let the fans get to know you like we do. It might be a little rough, at first, but it's the only way to get over that bump."

"Kev, I can't," I protested. "I have a job back home. I can't just go tripping around the country with you guys."

"Look, we don't have to fix this tonight, Dylan," Nick interrupted me. "It's getting late, and you're obviously tired," he paused to look at me again. "Damn, you look like shit," he said.

"Nick," Kev growled at him. Nick shook his head and went back to his other thought.

"Sorry, Dylan. Anyway, I was saying, why don't you get some sleep, and we'll deal with all this in the morning. You don't have to be to work until Monday, so you can stay an extra day and we'll figure it out. Ok?"

I considered it for a brief second before I just gave in. I WAS tired. The last month had been insane, from the time Kevin came out until the little chaos storm tonight. I did have one other thing I wanted to do, though. I turned to AJ.

"You knew, didn't you?" I asked him. He shrugged.

"I hoped, DJ," he replied. "I wasn't sure it would work, but I hoped that if I got the two of you together, you'd see you should stay with him. And, ya did, even if it took a while."

"Thanks, AJ. Thanks for threatening me so I'd come to my senses," I said, smiling at him. He just nodded in response. I turned to see Nick looking strangely at me. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"DJ, huh?" he had a teasing note in his voice. "Hmmmmm. DJ. Yeah, I'm likin' it." I groaned, shaking my head until I remembered one thing. It was a helluva lot better than that retarded `Dylly' he used to call me. I just let it go at that.

Chapter 64

"How're you doin' this morning?" Kevin's soft voice whispered in my ear. I snuggled up tighter to him, making sure that we were touching everywhere possible.

"As long as I can stay right here, then I'm doin' fine," I replied just as softly. He chuckled.

"Well, I'm afraid we will have to get up eventually. We've got a record signing this afternoon," he burst my bubble with his words.

I sighed, pulling the blankets up over my head. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to have to face the world. Ever.

"Come on, D, it's not so bad. You can come with us," he said.

"Gee, yeah. Maybe they need someone for some target practice. I could stand there and let everyone throw used CD's at me. The first fan to take out a primary organ gets a date with Nick," I said, the sarcasm thick in my tone. He chuckled at me.

"D, you're overreacting, sweetie. Trust me. We'll all be there to watch out for ya. I promise," he said. He chuckled again. "Besides, you really wanna subject some poor unsuspecting fan to a date with Nick?" I had to laugh at that one, too.

"So, when do you have to go to that signing?" I asked him.

"We'll have to leave in about two hours," he replied. "Why?"

"Well, I was just thinkin' that it's been a few weeks since we've seen each other. I figured we might, ya know, find something to do to occupy ourselves. Here. In bed," I whispered, stroking his chest.

He lifted the blankets, looking down at my face. He got a glimmer in his eye, and I felt a tingle in my skin where our bodies were touching.

"You think we could come up with something, huh?" he asked, nudging me up his body.

"Oh, yeah. I'm sure we could if we...use our imaginations," I whispered, just before I touched my lips to his. He dropped the blankets over us as he wrapped me in his arms.

I stretched like a cat, working the kinks from my muscles. Kev was sprawled out next to me, with what could only be described as a shit-eating grin on his face. I turned on my side and looked at him.

"Ya know, it's times like this when I wonder how I ever survived without you," I half whispered, half giggled at him. He got a mock hurt expression.

"You're only using me for my body, aren't you?" he asked, a shocked tone in his voice.

"Well...not ONLY for your body," I whispered, leaning over to nibble on his neck. "But it's definitely one of the perks!"

"Oh really?" He chuckled. Suddenly, he turned on me, pushing me over on my back and pinning me down under his weight. "So now I'm a perk, huh?" I suddenly felt serious as I stared up at him.

"No, Kev. Never," I whispered, gazing into his eyes. The smile faded from his lips as he caught my mood. "Kev, these last weeks...being away from you...there were days I honestly thought I was gonna die. It was so hard..."

"I'm sorry, Dylan, I really am. If I'd known it was so bad for you..."

"I couldn't tell you, Kev. You needed me to be strong. You needed me to be there for YOU. I couldn't tell you how hard it was. I wanted to lean on you, but I couldn't..."

"Dylan, of course you could," he whispered, still staring into my eyes. "I know you're strong. Hell, you put up with all of us." He smiled for a brief moment. "But being strong doesn't mean you never ask for help. I don't remember who said it, but I heard once a long time ago that sometimes it takes more strength to ask for help than it does to stand on your own."

He kissed me, then. One of those universe-stopping kisses that were so gentle I could barely feel it on my lips, but so strong that I could feel it to the depths of my soul.

"I love you, Kev," I whispered.

"I love you, too, Dylan," he whispered back.

Nick chose that precise moment to bang on the door. Kev and I both glanced at each other for a second before we both dissolved into laughter. His timing was, as usual, impeccable.

"Go away. No salesmen allowed," I yelled to him.

"Come on, guys. Time to get ready to go!" he hollered back through the door.

"We'll be ready in a bit, Nick," Kevin yelled. Apparently this satisfied Nick, as he didn't bother us anymore.

We both got up and headed for the bathroom. Kev got the shower running while I...well, I just admired his hard body. He chuckled when he caught me checking him out, then pulled me into the shower after him.

We actually managed to get clean sometime during the shower. It took all the hot water we had, but we finally got finished. I felt totally refreshed when we were done.

We quickly dressed and headed down the hall for the elevator. I guessed this meant that we were meeting the guys downstairs. Kevin took my hand and gave it a squeeze when we got in the elevator. I guess he sensed how nervous I was getting.

When the elevator doors opened, I instinctively dropped his hand. He immediately grabbed it again. I looked at him in surprise, then saw the smile on his face. I remembered that we didn't have to hide anymore. I slowly smiled back.

"Lookin' good, guys," Nick said quietly when we walked up to them. He was looking at our hands, so I knew he wasn't talking about our choice of clothes. Kevin had picked those out, so of course they looked good.

"Feeling good, Nick," I replied, giving Kev's hand a squeeze.

"Ready to go?" Kevin asked the other guys. They nodded and stood up. We walked over to the door, Nick and Brian in the lead, Kev and I bringing up the rear.

When we walked out the door, we were greeted by a storm of photography flashes and dozens of voices yelling questions. We just continued to walk towards the car where Tom was waiting by the door.

Kevin stopped me about halfway to the car. He slid his arm around my waist, squeezing me tight to his side. I blushed a little at the sudden extra flurry of picture taking. Kev just waved a second, then moved us down the rest of the way to the car.

"You wanna warn me next time before you decide to parade me to the masses?" I asked as we settled into the back of the limo. I smiled so he'd know I wasn't trying to be overly serious.

"Well, in this business, ya gotta be prepared for anything," he replied smugly. The other guys just kind of chuckled. I guess they were glad to see us getting along ok.

I rested back against the seat. Kevin sat with his arm around me, so I nestled in close to him. Another limo ride. I could sure get used to this life of his. Certain parts, anyway.

The scene was pretty much the same when we got to the record store. There was a swarm of screaming fans standing outside. Someone had blocked off a walkway for the guys to get through and into the store.

Brian and Nick stepped out first, followed by AJ and Howie. Each time one of the guys got out, the number of flashes went up, as did the volume of the screaming. Finally, it was left to Kevin and me.

Kev stepped out first, then reached a hand in to help me out. I didn't really need it, but it was a nice gesture. I held his hand and squeezed it tight. This was it. The moment of truth, I guess.

Once we were both out and Tom had closed the door, I decided to be a little risky. I leaned in and kissed Kevin on the cheek. He was surprised when he turned to face me, but there was a half-smile on his face.

"Be prepared for anything, remember?" I asked him, chuckling. He just nodded. There was a strange glint in his eyes. I figured out why a moment later.

He leaned in and kissed me. And I mean KISSED me. Open mouth, insert tongue kind of kissing. Hot, wet, full of passion. When he pulled away, I was breathless, and he was laughing.

"Anything," was all he said before taking my hand. I noticed that the volume of the screams hadn't really dwindled all that much. That was comforting in a way, I guess. Kevin turned and waved to the crowd with his free hand as he led me inside the store.

The guys lined up in the back room of the store and talked to the manager. Kevin made sure to introduce me to him so he knew who I was. I figured it was probably so that he knew it was ok for me to be back here with the guys if I looked around on my own later on.

When the signing began, I wandered out into the store. There wasn't much point in standing behind the guys, waiting. Tom kept an eye on me, although he was good about not hovering too closely. It was oddly comforting to have him around.

"Excuse me," someone behind me said. I turned to see a young man standing there. He looked like he was probably in high school, maybe 15 or 16.

"Yes? What can I do for you?" I asked politely, curious about what he wanted. He looked around, obviously very nervous about something. I noticed from the corner of my eye that Tom had drifted in closer to me.

"You're him, right? Kevin's," he paused, looking around and lowering his voice, "Kevin's fiance?" I smiled at his secrecy.

"Yeah, I'm Dylan," I said, holding my hand out to shake his. He quickly took it, but only held it for an instant before letting it drop again.

"I'm really happy to get a chance to meet you," he said. "I'm Reid."

"It's cool to meet you, Reid," I replied.

"I didn't think that you'd be here. Most everything I've read the last few weeks said that you weren't with the guys on this trip."

"Well, I just flew in last night, so I guess you got lucky," I smiled at him. He blushed a little and smiled back.

"I just...I wanted you to know how much I admire you, you and Kevin. It had to take a lot to do what you did, and there are a lot of us out here who appreciate it."

I was a little surprised at his words. I guess I'd gotten so used to the hate flying around that I'd forgotten that there might be a few people out there who were happy for us.

"Thanks, Reid. It's nice to know there's a little love for us out there after all," I said.

"Oh yeah, there is. I mean, there's a lot of us who look up to you for coming out...who don't have the courage to..." he trailed off.

"Reid," I spoke gently, trying to make him feel better, "coming out is different for everyone. There isn't a time when you're supposed to, and there's no deadline that says `you're a coward if you haven't come out yet'. I didn't come out until I was in my 20's already. I know one or two people who came out when they were 14. I mean, look at Kevin," I said before a voice interrupted.

"What about me?" Kevin's voice came at me from the side. I turned to see him standing in the next row over.

"Hey, sweetie. I was just saying to Reid here," I looked over at Reid. He was staring at Kevin, looking a lot like a wild animal about ready to bolt. I reached over and shook him. "You ok?"

He shook his head and blushed, quickly glancing away from Kev and looking at the floor. I thought it was kind of cute to see his reaction to the `big and famous pop star'. I smiled over at Kevin.

"Kevin, this is Reid. Reid, this is my fiance, Kevin," I stated the obvious with a little humor in my voice. It got a small smile out of Reid, at least. I turned to Kevin.

"Babycakes, don't be so rude," I said, using this obnoxiously perky voice, "come over and say hello to the gentleman."

Kevin shook his head and started to walk around the CD rack to the aisle where Reid and I were standing. Reid had gotten that `deer- in-the-headlights' look on his face again. I reached out and lightly touched his arm, snapping him out of it.

When Kev reached us, he offered his hand to Reid. I chuckled to myself at the fact that Reid didn't pull his hand away from Kevin nearly as fast as he'd done to me. Actually, for a moment, he was looking like he might take it home for a souvenir.

"Now, what horrible tales was Dylan here tellin' ya, Reid?" Kev asked, glancing my way with a smile on his face.

"Oh, nothing bad at all, Ke...Kevin," he stumbled on Kev's name.

"I was just telling Reid that he shouldn't be nervous about not coming out, yet. That I didn't come out until I was older than he is, and that you were even OLDER when you did," I said, nudging my lover with an elbow.

"Well, in my own defense, there were a LOT of reasons why I waited," he pointed out. I had to nod in agreement. It occurred to me that he was supposed to be busy elsewhere.

"What're you doin' here, Kev? Is the signing over already?" I looked at my watch. Barely half an hour had passed since I'd started wandering the store.

"No. We just decided to take a break before we continued. Our hands get a little sore signing our names over and over," he said, flexing the fingers of his hand to emphasize the point.

I nodded in understanding. I reached over and took his hand in mine, absently massaging his fingers for him while we continued our talk with Reid.

Reid calmed down in Kevin's presence after a few minutes. I'd found that most people tended to lose their star-struck quality pretty quickly if they just had a chance to actually meet the guys. We were interrupted by Nick a bit later.

"Hey, DJ, as long as you're handing out massages," he walked up and held out his hand.

I smiled a second before taking it and working it over as hard as I possibly could. I'll give him credit, he managed to hold out for longer than I'd thought he would. But, he eventually yanked his hand away from mine, so I calmly reached over and started gently working on Kev's hand again.

"Damn, Dylan, that was harsh," Nick said as he tried to work some of the pain I'd inflicted out of his hand. I just smiled. "Anyway, Kev, they're ready to start again if you can drag yourself away from the torture master, here."

"Sure, Nick, I'll be there in a minute," Kev replied. Nick turned to walk away, giving Reid a brief smile as he left.

Reid had a look on his face that said a lot more than star- struck'. He had that glint in his eyes that said I wanna start a new religion based on your worship' as he looked at Nick's retreating back. Or should I say Nick's retreating butt? I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Well, baby, looks like you've already been replaced in our young friend's affections," I said to Kevin. Reid quickly snapped out of it and turned back to us, blushing. Kevin just let out an exaggerated sigh.

"Story of my life, D, always thrown over for Nick," he said, an obviously over-acted note of sadness in his tone. I reached an arm around his waist.

"There, there, Kevy, I promise I won't leave you for Nick," I said, pausing. "Well, not until he's 20 anyway." Kev gave me a light slap on the shoulder.

"He IS 20, Dylan. He turned 20 in January," he replied.

"Oh," I said. The funny thing was that I hadn't actually known that. "Well, then please excuse me," I slid my arm from Kev's waist and made like I was gonna follow Nick. Kevin grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

"I don't think so, sweetie," he said.

"But, Kevy, he's just such a little cutie," I replied.

"Cutie, huh?" Kevin asked. He put his arms around me and laid another hot kiss on my lips. He held me for what felt like several minutes, although I knew it couldn't have been more than a few seconds.

"Nick who?" was all I said when I finally got my breath back. Kevin got a very smug look on his face then. Reid, on the other hand, was obviously very stunned at our little by-play.

"Well, now that my wayward fiance is looking at the right man again," Kev smiled at me as he spoke, "I'd better get back to my job. Nice to meet you, Reid." Kevin briefly shook Reid's hand again, dropped a quick kiss on my cheek, and walked away.

I stared after him, lost in thought. He seemed so happy now, so much more carefree than he'd always been before. I was glad for his sake that things appeared to be working out for him and the guys. Reid's voice brought me back from my musings.

"He's sure not what I expected," Reid said.

"Yeah, he, well all the guys really, tend to have that affect on people. Most everyone, me included, comes up with their own version of what the guys are like. So, when they meet `em, it tends to shake people up a bit," I said.

"What did you think about them before you met?" he wondered.

"Well, Kevin was, of course, serious all the time, very mature and responsible. AJ was 100% screwball and a ladies man. Brian was heavy on religion and down-home Southern goodness. Nick was goofy and more than a bit immature. And Howie was," I leaned in to whisper this, "well, I always thought Howie was kind of...prissy."

"And what are they like really?"

"Hmmmm, Kevin is generally pretty serious, but as you saw here he's also got a good sense of humor. AJ can be a screwball once in a while, but he's also got a strong streak of responsibility. And, while he may dig the ladies, he also respects them a great deal. Brian is religious, but he doesn't force his beliefs on others. He's a solid, dependable friend, and he's got a streak of mischief about a mile wide in him. Nick is about as goofy as you might expect, but there are depths to his personality that constantly surprise me. And Howie..." I trailed off.

"I always have a hard time placing Howie. He's a good friend, reliable and always there when you need him. He knows how to have a good time, and he knows how to get YOU to have a good time. But, there's always this look in his eyes, like he knows some secret that no one else knows. I can't really explain it better than that," I said.

"Wow," was all he said. He got an odd look on his face before he looked around to verify we were alone. "So are any of the rest of them...are they...?" he left it there.

I wasn't sure how to answer him. If I said no', I'd be flat out lying. But, if I said it wasn't my place, he'd figure out that at least one of them was. Unfortunately, until or if AJ decided to let his open-minded nature' out in public, I couldn't be responsible for someone knowing.

"Sorry, Reid," I said, shaking my head. "Kevin's the only one into other guys." It was a lie, but a necessary one.

Reid looked more than a little disappointed, although I knew it couldn't be that much of a surprise to him. He seemed to recover himself fairly quickly, though, and we continued our talk.

I don't know how much longer we talked, but it was nice to do it. Somehow, just talking to this one guy who was happy that Kev and I were together really helped me feel better about everything that was happening. I knew he might not represent the majority of people, but it was still nice that someone out there didn't hate me.

Kevin came back over when they were finished with their signing. The three of us chatted briefly, but I knew the rest of the guys would be anxious to get going, so I kept it short. I said goodbye to Reid, thanking him for talking to me today, then walked back with Kevin.

"You seem like you're a little better, sweetie," he said, taking my hand as we walked through the store.

"I am, I guess. It was nice to hear that someone out there was happy for me. For us," I said, squeezing his hand when I said `us'.

"Dylan, there're a LOT of people out there who are happy for us," he replied. "I've lost track of the good wishes fans have given me for the two of us. Yeah, there're some who are disappointed, who don't want my autograph at a signing or won't shake my hand at a meet'n'greet session, but they aren't the majority."

I nodded my head, accepting him at his word. We walked into the back room and hooked up with the guys. We all trooped out to the limo through the throng of fans, ready to head back to the hotel.

To be continued... ------------------

Well, there it is. Hope it was at least partially worth the long wait ;-)

I'm in Orlando, boys and girls. Let the fun begin, huh? Now I get to start the fun of househunting and setting up a life. Woo-hoo!

The next post shouldn't be too much longer. Catch y'all later.