Forever

Author's Notes --------------

Sorry for the delay folks. I can't even claim that I was swamped with classes or homework or any of the other common things authors get busy with. Frankly, I just forgot about it in the press of every day life ;-)

Fair warning, what you are about to read is very dark. This is the one and only part of the 'book' that I can say I honestly cried as I re-read it for editing. I'm told this post and the subsequent chapters are some of the most...powerful stuff I've ever done. Hope it is worth your time.

Disclaimer ----------

The story contained in these pages is totally in the mind of its author. All rumor and innuendo aside, I do NOT have any idea of the true orientations of any members of the Backstreet Boys. Yes, children, all wishful thinking aside, they're probably as straight as we all HATE to think of them. So, this is my little reminder that this is what we like to call FICTION. Readers should realize that reality and fantasy are definitely (and unfortunately ;-) two different things.

Don't read this tawdry tale if you're too young. Don't read this tawdry tale if it's against the law. If it IS illegal where you live, you need to consider a relocation!!!

And now...'Forever'...

Chapter 85

"Let's hit a club or two tonight," Nick said as we all climbed in the limo for the trip back to the hotel.

It was Friday. I'd been in town for a couple of days, hanging with the guys and just generally enjoying being alive.

I'd had a long talk with Anna yesterday. I had to let her know about my thoughts about work. I didn't want my possible resignation to be a surprise to her. She'd been way too good to me for that.

I'd also spent the day yesterday at the hotel, working. I'd done some work during the evenings and free time on my road trip, but I felt like getting more done. I'd worked almost ten hours yesterday while Kev and the guys were out doing their thing.

Today, I'd gone with to the studio again, but I took my laptop this time. I didn't get as much done as I had the day before, but I still felt like I was accomplishing something. That was the important thing.

And now, it was Friday evening, time to kick up the heels and party, I guess. The guys were all in agreement with Nick about going out. I wasn't that comfortable with the idea, but I knew I needed the down time, so I agreed.

"Where we gonna go?" I asked.

"You just leave that to me," AJ piped in. I raised an eyebrow, but nodded a second later. When it came to partying, AJ was probably the one in the know. Although something about the glint in his eye had me a little concerned.

We went our separate ways when we reached the hotel. Kev and I went to our room while the others went to theirs. We'd decided to meet up in an hour and grab some dinner before AJ led us on our merry little trip.

Kev immediately collapsed on the bed when we got inside. He lay face down, his body sprawled across the entire width of the mattress. I smiled at my tired man before I crawled up and straddled his back.

"Tired, love?" I asked as I slowly began to massage his shoulders.

"Mmmmmm-hmmmmmm," was his only reply.

"Maybe we should stay in tonight, then?"

"No," he said. "Let's go out. You and I've never gone out with the guys like this. It'll be fun. I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, D. Just keep doin' what you're doin', please?" he sighed as I continued with the massage.

I worked him over from head to toe for about half an hour. I wasn't a professional, but he seemed to enjoy the touch. I managed to get a lot of the knots of tension out of his body before it was time to get ready.

"Come on, babe," I said, gently slapping his butt. "Time to hop in the shower if we're goin' out."

"Ok."

He rolled over under me. I was still straddling his legs, and I lay down on top of him when he'd finished rolling. I put my lips to his, giving him a gentle kiss.

"You're sure you wanna go?" I asked. "We could always stay here and find something to do."

"As tempting as that is, I'd really like to go," he replied. "I want us to be a normal couple, do normal couple things. Goin' out with our friends is about as close as we come to doin' that."

I nodded before giving him another kiss. Before either of us could carry it any further, I crawled off of him. I reached out a hand, which he took, and helped him off of the bed. We wandered into the bathroom to shower together.

"Lookin' fine, DJ," AJ said as we walked up to the guys in the lobby.

"Thanks, AJ," I replied. "I'd say the same to you, but I'd guess you already know you look good." I smiled, and AJ chuckled.

"Limo's waiting out front, Kev," Nick said. Kevin nodded.

"Dylan, you remember Leigh?" Brian asked, indicating his fiance next to him. I'd heard him mention something about her coming for a visit.

"Of course," I replied, holding out my hand to her. "How've you been, Leighanne?"

"I've been well, Dylan. I'm glad I got a chance to come out for a visit," she told me as we shook hands.

The seven of us walked out to the limo. Tom was once again our driver. I nodded hello to my former bodyguard as we climbed in the back.

I settled in against Kevin as Tom shut the door. He casually draped his arm over my shoulders, and I rested a hand on his thigh. Nick was on my other side. Brian and Leighanne were on the other side, facing the three of us. AJ and Howie had each taken a seat along the side of the car.

Dinner was pleasant. Kev talked the guys into going for Mexican. He claimed it was because he knew how much I loved it, but I had a sneaky suspicion he did it because HE loved it.

After we finished dinner, we all piled back into the limo. AJ climbed up front with Tom so he could give him directions. The rest of us were in our same places in the back.

It took us nearly an hour to get to the club. I couldn't tell if AJ was just lost for a while or if it really was that far to get there. Eventually, we pulled up at the front door. There was already a line of people crowded up there, waiting to get inside.

AJ hopped out and walked over to talk to the bouncer at the door. They exchanged a few words before AJ turned back to the car and waved an arm at Tom. Tom opened the back, letting us all out.

It started with whispering, people wondering who was getting out of the limo. I took a second before the inevitable screaming started to check out the crowd.

There was something odd about the people there. It took me a minute before I figured it out. When I did, I groaned and walked over to AJ. The screams for the guys started about two seconds after that.

"God, AJ, please tell me you did NOT bring us to a gay bar!" I whispered into his ear. He just chuckled.

"It's NOT a gay bar, DJ," he replied. Then, he got another devilish glint in his eyes. "It's what you might call a `mixed' crowd."

"Management's gonna have a fit, AJ," Kev spoke up behind me. I turned to look at him. He was smiling, so I guess he was ok with it.

"So what?" AJ said. "Look, you're involved with another guy. Why should we go someplace where the two of you might be uncomfortable? This way, we can all relax and have some fun."

I nodded and gave in. Hell, if the famous people among us were ok with it, who was I to argue? The three of us led the way inside the club as Tom drove the limo off to park.

The noise of the club hit me like a wall when we got inside. The place was definitely hot, judging by the crowd. And, from the looks of the dance floor, AJ had been right.

There was a mix of people out on the floor. Everyone was just kind of dancing with everyone. Where I could tell people were partnered, there was a mix of straight and gay couples. I relaxed a little more after that.

We managed to find a booth off to one side. AJ, Howie, and Nick immediately took off for the dance floor. The rest of us sat down and waited for a bit.

Kev slid in close to me, reaching out to take my hand in his. Our fingers locked and we just sat back, listening to the music and enjoying the place. Brian and Leighanne did pretty much the same thing.

"Let's dance," Kev said a few minutes later.

I just nodded and followed him out of the booth. He grabbed my hand right away and pulled me out onto the dance floor. We wove in and out of people until we reached the center.

And we danced. The music was hard and fast and perfect for a night of just blowing off steam. Kevin and I made the most of it, starting slowly, but getting into it more and more as each song passed. He was a lot better at it than I was, but I figured as long as we both had fun, it didn't matter.

After about five songs, we were both getting pretty warm. The floor was crowded, and people were rubbing into us all the time. Actually, the majority of people, women and men both, were rubbing into Kevin. He didn't seem to mind, but he apparently decided to send them all a message.

He reached out and pulled me closer, moving his hands up and down my body. I moved my arms around him, and we started getting more into the dance and into each other.

Time blurred then. We just danced. I didn't know about Kev, but for me, there was only the two of us. The rest of the crowd just faded away, and there was the music and Kevin and me. It was awesome.

I don't know how much later it was when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I glanced to the side to see AJ standing there, a huge smile on his face. He leaned in to talk to me.

"You two havin' fun?" he asked. I didn't answer.

Instead, I turned and grabbed Kevin, bringing my lips to his in a kiss. I hadn't intended to really get too deeply into it, but Kev apparently had other ideas.

The kiss stretched on as we moved to the music. It was intense, unlike anything I'd ever experienced before. The loud, grinding music, the press of bodies around us, Kevin's tongue in my mouth. It was almost enough to make me pass out.

AJ pulled us apart a minute later. I glanced at him a second before turning to Kevin. I could see the lust on his face. He was obviously feeling the same way I was.

"You two need a room, man!" AJ said, laughing. I turned to look at him, leaning in to speak.

"You have no idea!" I yelled back at him. He just smiled and grabbed both of our hands.

"Come on," he said, pulling on us. "You need to cool off!"

We wound our way back through the crowd of people. I noticed quite a few stares directed our way. Most of them were that adoring fan look that the guys got pretty much anywhere. A few were jealous stares, shot in my direction. And a few just sent a shiver up my spine.

Nick and Howie were sitting at our table when we got there. Tom was also there, although he was standing next to it. It appeared he was keeping the fans from getting too close to the guys. From the look on his face, he was obviously in `bodyguard' mode.

"Damn, you two!" Nick spoke up first. "You're lucky management wasn't here to see that!"

I just smiled at Nick and squeezed Kev's hand. He squeezed back. I turned to look at him, but he wasn't smiling. He was staring at me, a look of intense concentration on his face. He leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"I want you, D," he whispered, his voice full of pent-up lust. He lightly ran his tongue along my ear. "Now." I immediately felt a tingle along my entire body. I leaned away and just nodded. Kevin turned to the others.

"We're gonna go," he said. Everyone looked surprised, except for AJ. I guessed he knew exactly what was going on. "You wanna keep the limo with you or take a cab to the hotel later?" Kev asked them.

The general consensus was for us to take the limo. I thought it was a good idea, given the likelihood that Kev and I would probably be all over each other, something a cab driver didn't need to witness.

Kev stood, filling Tom in on the plan. He obviously said something else, because Tom took a moment to stare at me before turning back to Kev and nodding. He walked away, going to get the car.

Kev and I said goodbye to the other guys. AJ had a knowing smirk on his face. Nick and Howie just shook our hands and said they'd see us in the morning. We told them to say goodnight to Brian and Leighanne.

We made our way out of the club. The cool night air was a refreshing change from the sweltering heat of the club. I had to admit, though, that I hadn't had so much fun in a very long time.

Tom had the car out front waiting. The crowd went nuts when they saw Kevin. He waved a little to them, but didn't slow his pace into the car. He ushered me inside first, then slid in next to me.

The second the door closed, he was on me. He pressed me down into the seat, taking my mouth with his and running his hands all over me. He was on fire. And so was I.

He slid off of the seat, pulling me down on top of him. He reached down to my waist, tugging at my shirt to pull it free of my pants. I grabbed his wrists and leaned up away from him.

"What about Tom?" I asked, the passion in my voice making it hot and husky.

"He knows," Kev replied, his already sexy voice even deeper. "I told him to drive around until I let him know we were ready to go back. I'm sure he could figure out why."

He rolled, then, pinning me under him and taking my mouth with his once more. His hands managed to get my shirt free. I was working on his, too. When his naked skin touched mine, I let myself go, forgetting about Tom and everything else and just focusing on Kevin as he took me places I never knew existed before.

Chapter 86

I stretched out. Or tried to, anyway. The back of a limo may be roomy, but it still wasn't made for two men the size of Kevin and I to be laid out on the floor.

Tom was still driving us around. I made a mental note to remind Kev that we should do something nice for him. It couldn't have been fun for him to spend all that time just driving around.

And it had been a lot of time. Kev and I'd made love twice. Well, that first time had basically been all mad, hot sex. The second time was slower, gentler, but no less passionate.

"You ok, D?" Kev asked softly. I rolled over to face him.

"Yeah, babe, why wouldn't I be?" I replied.

"Well, I got...that is that first time was...I mean," he paused then, apparently trying to gather himself. "I was a little rough that first time." I smiled and leaned in to whisper to him.

"Kev," I said. "I'll let ya in on a little secret." I moved so my lips were against his ear. "Sometimes, it's fun to have it a little rough." He chuckled when I said that.

"I'll have to remember that," he told me.

"You do that, love," I whispered, wiggling my eyebrows a few times.

Suddenly, I felt the car come to a stop. The dividing glass between the front and the back slid down about an inch.

"Kevin?" Tom's voice came through the break.

"Yeah, Tom?" Kev replied.

"I pulled us over at a beach. Looks pretty deserted. I'm gonna step out for a stretch," Tom said.

"Sounds good, Tom. Thanks," Kev told him. Tom slid the divider back up before opening the door and stepping out.

"You feel like a little walk, D?" Kev whispered to me.

"Yeah. That'd be kinda nice, Kev," I replied.

We quickly got our clothes situated again. Kev stepped out of the car, turning to offer me a hand out. I slid my hand into his, letting him help me from the car.

We let Tom know we were gonna take a short walk. He offered to trail after us, just for safety, but we told him to take a break. Frankly, I felt guilty that he'd been just driving us around tonight. He deserved a few minutes to himself.

Kev and I wandered off down the beach. The moon was out, although either the natural cloud cover or some pollution was masking it's light a bit. The light glistening off of the water was still incredibly romantic as we strolled through the sand, our hands linked.

"Have you figured out what you're gonna do about your job?" Kev interrupted the silence. He spoke softly, keeping his voice low.

"Well, I've basically decided that I'm gonna find something new," I said. "It'll take some looking, but I should be able to find a consultant position or something similar, something that'll allow me to telecommute."

"Did you tell Anna?" he wondered.

"Not in so many words. We had a long talk on Thursday about what's been happening lately. She understood. I think she knows that I'm not gonna be able to stay with my current position if it means having to be away from you so much."

"Are you sure that's what you want, D? I don't want you to quit just for me, especially if you're happy at your work." Kev sounded worried.

"Kev, trust me. This is what I want. I want to be able to do things like this with you. Take walks, see new places, hang out and just...just be a couple. This means a lot more to me than my job," I told him. I smiled as something occurred to me.

"We've had this discussion before, ya know," I said.

"What d'ya mean?" he asked.

"We've had this exact same conversation about what's more important, job or us. Except it was you convincing me that I was more important to you than your job," I replied. He stopped to think about it a second before he chuckled.

"Yeah, you're right. We have. So, I guess this means that if I expect you to believe that you're more important than my career, I've gotta believe the same about being more important than yours."

"Yep, that about sums it up, love," I said, nudging him with my shoulder.

He took the opportunity to slide his arm around my waist. He kept me pulled in close to me as we slowly continued our walk down the beach. Neither of us broke the silence. We just enjoyed each other's presence as we walked for a while longer.

"Well, ain't that sweet," a harsh, sarcastic voice broke the night air. "Couple o' little fairies out for a moonlight stroll."

Kev and I both turned, looking for the owner of the voice. He was a rather gutter-looking boy standing about ten feet away. He couldn't have been more than 18. Unfortunately, he had several friends with him. I felt Kevin stiffen next to me.

The six guys moved in closer. The light of the moon wasn't bright enough to give me a very good look at `em. About all I could tell was that they didn't seem like really friendly people.

"We don't like your kind around here, faggot," the same kid spoke again. He seemed to be the leader of the group.

"Then just let us pass, and we'll get outta here," I said.

"Uh uh, little fairy, you and your little girlfriend here ain't goin' anywhere."

They'd surrounded us now. Kev turned slightly so our backs were together. We both kept an eye on the guys.

I was panicking. I tried to call up my anger, something to get my adrenaline going. I knew there was gonna be a fight, and frankly I wasn't very good at fighting unless I was incredibly mad. And right now, the fear was overwhelming any anger I could call up.

"Look," I said, trying to sound cool and collected. "We don't want any trouble. Just let us be, and we'll get outta your space." As I spoke, I started slowly walking towards the lead guy, hands in the air, trying to show him we weren't a threat.

"I don't think so, faggot," was all he said before lashing out at me with his fist. The blow caught me off guard and was quickly followed by another from one of his buddies.

I stumbled back, bumping into Kevin. I was off balance, and hitting him caused me to fall to the ground. Major mistake, as I felt a solid steeltoe boot connect with my ribs a second after that.

"Get away from him!" I heard Kevin yell. I could hear movement above me. I tried to stand, but another boot connected with my body, this time with my head. I collapsed back to the ground, seeing stars in my eyes. I felt another kick to the ribs, and another.

A gunshot tore through the night air. My heart nearly stopped, but it brought a different reaction from our attackers. They immediately stood and took off running. I had no idea what happened, but I was thankful they were gone.

I opened my eyes, shaking my head in an effort to clear the stars away. In the distance, I could see someone running towards me. It was Tom, I think.

Kevin. Oh God, Kevin.

I frantically started looking around for him. I couldn't see anything at first, then I noticed him lying a few feet behind me. I crawled over to him.

"Kev?" I said, grabbing his arm. He was on his stomach in the sand, facing away from me. I reached out to roll him over.

"Kevin?" I said his name again. I put my hand to his stomach to shake him. My hand stuck to his stomach when I tried to pull it away. I knew what the warm liquid was without even looking.

Blood. Kevin's blood. On my hand. Oh God...

"NO!" I yelled, grabbing Kevin and pulling him into my arms. I put his face against my neck and held him, rocking him slowly.

"Oh God, baby, don't leave me, Kevin, don't go, please, baby, hold on, please," I whispered to him, over and over. I could feel him breathing against my neck, so I knew he was still alive. But his breathing was very shallow.

"Dylan?" Tom's voice came at me. "What happened? Are you..." he cut off when he caught site of Kevin. "Oh no," he whispered.

I heard him talking a moment later. He was on his cell phone, calling for an ambulance. I ignored him, then, just talking to Kevin, whispering that I loved him over and over, begging him not to leave me.

I went into a trance, of sorts, just holding Kevin, rocking him, praying for him, talking to him, telling him how much I loved him, how much I couldn't live without him, begging him to stay with me.

I vaguely recalled someone trying to take him away from me. I wouldn't let him go. Then Tom telling me I had to let someone look at him. Tom. I could trust Tom. I loosened my grip on Kevin, letting whoever it was look at him.

Then, we were in an ambulance. I was holding Kevin's hand. Someone, a paramedic, I guess, was working on him. Then the `medic was talking into a radio. Then he was asking me questions. I just stared stupidly at him. I couldn't understand a word he was saying. I turned back to Kevin and started talking to him again, begging him not to leave me.

Then noise and lights and people yelling. Someone telling me that I couldn't stay with Kevin. Someone pulling my hand away. Me fighting to get back with him as they pulled him away.

Then the waiting room. And the blood. His blood. All over my hands. I stared at it, at the fluid that gave him life. And it was all over my hands.

"Dylan?" Someone saying my name. A hand on my shoulder. Shaking me.

"Dylan?" Someone else saying my name on the other side. Another hand on my other shoulder. Another shake. I just kept staring at my hands. At his blood. On my hands. Staring.

Until another set of hands took mine. And someone knelt in front of me. And a set of tear-filled blue eyes appeared before mine, staring into the dark well of my soul, bringing light to that inner blackness.

"Nick?"

And then he was hugging me. And I was crying. And so was he.

To be continued... ------------------

Notice there's no question marks at the end, so yes there is a continuation. But, I needed the break here to...pause for reflection. L8r, DJ