Forever

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Blah blah blah...not real...whatever whatever...don't read if you don't like it...da da da...fiction...ya ya ya...you get the point

Chapter 89

"What do you mean I can't see him?" I asked the nurse as she stopped me from going in to see Kevin.

"I'm sorry, sir," she replied in a tone that said she wasn't all that sorry. "But hospital policy prohibits anyone but family from entering the critical care unit."

"But I'm his fiance," I was practically yelling. "I should be there with him."

"I'm sorry, sir, but you can NOT go in there." She was adamant that I not get in. I stared death at her a moment before Nick grabbed my hand and led me back to the waiting room.

The others were waiting for us. All except for Brian, Leighanne, and Tom, that is. Ann was due to arrive at LAX soon, so they'd gone with the limo to pick her up.

Kevin had been moved to the CCU an hour before. The doctor had finally come out to talk to us, although he hadn't said much beyond the fact that the surgery went as well as could be hoped for and that Kev was now recovering.

I paced up and down the floor in the waiting room. I was so worried, so nervous. And so angry. With the hospital staff, with the gang who'd attacked us, with myself.

I turned and walked out of the room. I must've surprised everyone because I heard some scrambling behind me before Nick appeared at my side. The guys weren't leaving me alone for a second.

I headed for the elevators. I got in the first available one and hit the top floor. I needed space. I needed air. I paced the elevator as it slowly made its way up. I hated hospital elevators. They were so slow.

We finally reached the top floor. I stepped out, Nick at my heels. He didn't say anything, just followed me. I looked around for the stairs. I found a set at the end of the corridor and pushed open the door into the stairwell.

I turned and began running up the stairs. I knew it was likely that roof access would be restricted, but I needed to try. I reached the top, Nick a step behind. There was a notice on the door that only hospital personnel were allowed outside, but there didn't appear to be an alarm of any kind on the door. I took the chance and pushed it open.

I was greeted by the vast open sky. I'd say the sky was blue, but unfortunately, the pollution was high today. The sky was a hazy mix of brown, white, and blue. But it was the sky. It was open air.

I walked over to the edge, standing against the railing there and looking out over the vast expanse of city that was Los Angeles. From up here, it was hard to believe that there were so many people here. It was hard to believe that such bad things could happen.

"You alright, DJ?" Nick asked, reverting to my nickname.

"As well as can be expected, I guess, Nick," I replied. "I just needed some air. Even if it isn't all that fresh."

He put a hand on my shoulder, gently rubbing it back and forth. It felt comforting, as I suppose he meant it to feel. We just stood there a while, staring out over the city.

"God, Nick, I've never been so scared in my entire life," I whispered. He gave my shoulder a squeeze.

"I know, Dylan," he replied. "We all are, man. But, we're here for you, and for Kev. He's gonna make it through, and so are we." We paused for another moment before I asked the inevitable question.

"Why, Nick? Why Kevin? Why us?"

"I don't know, man," he said softly.

"God, why can't people just leave us be?!" I screamed, raising my arms and shouting at the world. "Why can't they just let us live our lives in peace?" My voice was louder. "WHY CAN'T THEY JUST LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE?!?!"

Nick didn't have an answer, of course. No one did. That was the trouble with the world today. Everyone had questions, and no one seemed to have any solutions.

I gave up yelling. My arms dropped back to my sides. My head dropped down to rest on my chest. I closed my eyes, listening to the breeze blowing across the top of the hospital and the sounds of the city drifting up from below. Nick moved in closer, draping a comforting arm across my shoulders.

"Hey!" someone yelled from behind us. "You're not allowed up here."

Nick and I both turned to look at who'd spoken. It appeared to be an orderly of some kind. He ushered us over and back through the door. Maybe they'd had an alarm on it after all. We silently walked down the stairs.

When Nick and I made our way down to the waiting room, Tom and Leighanne were there along with everyone else. I turned to her.

"Brian and Ann are inside?" I asked, although I already knew the answer. She nodded.

"Yeah," she said. "They went in as soon as we got here."

I nodded in reply, then resumed my pacing. I was tired. The last 24 hours had been exhausting. But, I knew I couldn't sleep. Not until I knew he would be ok.

"Dylan?" a woman's voice broke in on my thoughts. I turned to see Ann standing there.

"Ann," I tried to say. For some reason, seeing her brought everything back again, and suddenly, I was crying. I broke, dropping to my knees in the waiting room and just letting the tears go. Again.

"Shhhh, Dylan, it's ok," Ann's voice was soothing in my ear as she put her arms around me. I just cried on her shoulder.

"Ann, I'm so sorry, sorry I couldn't do something to help him, sorry I let this happen, sorry I couldn't protect him," I whispered into her neck as I cried.

"Don't be ridiculous, Dylan," she said, her tone firm and forthright. I was amazed at how strong she was being. "There was nothing you could do. Thank God you weren't seriously hurt."

She rocked me there on the floor until I again managed to gain some control. Then, she eased her hold on me, taking her hands and forcing me to look at her. I realized again where Kev got his eyes.

"Now, you need to stop this," she said, her soft Southern accent a little sharper right then. "Kevin's gonna need y'all to be strong. No more guilt, no more blame. There was nothing you could do to stop those men. Now, you just have to be here to help my son get better. Ok?"

Her eyes bore into my soul, shredding the guilt and hurt that they found there. She continued to stare at me, holding my gaze until I finally nodded. She gave a brief nod before speaking again.

"Now, why aren't you in there with him?" she asked.

"They wouldn't let me in. Said only family could go in," I replied quietly.

"Rubbish!" she said.

She quickly stood, ushering me to follow her. I scrambled to my feet, trailing after her. She was like a little tornado, all force and authority, tearing through whatever got in her way.

I was amazed at her strength. It made me feel a little ashamed that I, the big strong man', was in tears on the floor when she, the dainty Southern gentlewoman', was obviously solid and in control.

She marched up to the door to the CCU. Nurse Nazi was immediately there, blocking my path through. Ann turned to confront her.

"What are you doing?" she asked the nurse.

"Hospital policy specifically states family only," the nurse replied, hostility in her tone.

"Nonsense!" Ann snapped back. "This man is engaged to my son, and he deserves to be in there."

"I'm sorry, ma'am," the nurse dropped a load of sarcasm on that word. "But policy is policy, and this man," more sarcasm, "does not qualify as family."

"Fine," Ann said, turning to step over to the nurse's station. "Please page Dr. Hal Jacobson," she requested politely of the nurse sitting there.

"Um...sure. Hold on one moment," she replied.

She did some typing on the computer, then picked up the phone and placed a call. She punched in some numbers, left a brief message for the doctor, then hung up.

"It should be just a few minutes," the nurse said.

I wasn't sure why, but she was obviously nervous that Ann knew this particular doctor. When I looked over at Nurse Nazi, I noticed the same look of fear.

"Ann? Ann Richardson?" a man's voice came down the hallway.

Ann turned to greet the newcomer. He appeared to be in his sixties, with white hair and a face that just felt trustworthy. I took it from his recognition of Ann that this was Dr. Jacobson.

"Hal, it's good to see you," Ann said politely, reaching out a hand to shake his.

"Ann, I was so sorry to hear about Kevin. If there's anything I can do, you know I'll help," he replied, the softness in his tone giving voice to his sorrow.

"Actually, Hal, that's why I had you paged," Ann said. She turned to indicate me. "Hal, this is Dylan, Kevin's fiance." We shook hands.

"Yes, I'd heard that Kevin had gotten himself engaged. It's nice to meet you." I nodded in reply to the doctor's comment.

"That woman," Ann flicked a hand at Nurse Nazi in disdain, "is refusing to let Dylan see my son. Frankly, it can only do Kevin good to be surrounded by those he loves, and who love him. I would like you to allow him in to see Kevin." The nurse stepped over, ready to defend herself.

"Dr. Jacobson," she began, "you know that it's policy to allow only family inside to"

"Yes, Jackie, I do know that," Dr. Jacobson cut her off, his tone stern and unforgiving. "And I also know that we have bent that policy in the past when it was in the best interest of the patient. You and I both know that having family and loved ones around is very important for the patient in cases like this." He paused, glowering at her even harder.

"And I also know that this is not the first time that you've refused to allow someone in a same-sex relationship access to his or her loved one. And that you've allowed others in a heterosexual relationship this same access that you are denying Dylan."

I saw the nurse stiffen out of the corner of my eye. It had never even occurred to me that she might just be prejudiced because I was a man. I hadn't encountered that kind of bigotry in a place like this before. Lindsay and her friends were my example, and I'd never seen any of them do anything like this.

"If I understand rumor correctly, it's exactly that kind of narrow-mindedness that put that young man here in the first place," the doctor continued. "And it will not be tolerated anywhere on my staff. Do I make myself clear?"

The woman nodded, looking away from the doctor's cold stare. He immediately reached out and took Ann's hand.

"Now, let's go check on Kevin, shall we?" he said, his tone again polite and respectful. I trailed in after them.

I couldn't stop a gasp from escaping my lips when I first saw him. He was so pale, lying in the hospital bed. There were bandages wrapped around his midsection, an IV tube stuck into the veins in his left arm, and another tube taped to his mouth.

Ann squeezed my hand, offering me some of her strength. When I looked at her, I still saw that inner fire, but it was laced with concern and more than a little fear.

I took a deep breath and walked over to Kevin. I moved over to his right, easing my hand down to touch his. I leaned over and lightly kissed his forehead.

"I love you, Kevin," I whispered against his skin. "Please come back to me."

Just touching him, feeling the slight warmth of his skin, made me feel better, gave me some small hope that he would make it through this. It eased the weight on my heart, just a little.

Dr. Jacobson pulled a chair over, motioning for me to sit. I turned to Ann and offered it to her, but she shook her head. She walked around to Kev's other side and took his other hand gently in hers. I took the chair the doctor offered and slid in as close to Kev as I could get.

"He will be alright, you know," Ann's soft voice broke into the background hum of machinery in the room.

I just looked over at her, meeting her gaze over the still body of her son, my lover. I silently pleaded with her to be right. Because I knew that if she was wrong, I'd never be able to survive it.

Chapter 90

"Come on, Dylan, you need to get some rest," Nick pleaded with me.

"No, Nick," I replied, trying to scrape together a firm tone from my tired body. "I won't leave him."

"Dylan," he replied, doing a much better job of gathering a firm voice than I did. "It's been four days. You can't keep going like this."

I sighed. He was right. I couldn't. But I would, anyway. I refused to leave the hospital, staying by Kevin's side as much as I possibly could. Nick and Lindsay generally dragged me away for a meal here and there. Otherwise, I was glued to Kevin.

He'd been moved out of intensive care late yesterday. He was still unconscious, but Dr. Jacobson told me that it wasn't that unusual in a case like this. Kev's body had been through a lot of trauma, and it needed to heal.

He'd been taken off of the respirator, and some of the color was starting to come back to his skin. He didn't look healthy, but he wasn't as pale as he'd been before, either. And, fortunately thus far, he wasn't showing any signs of infection.

Lindsay had shown up yesterday, also. She'd worked a shift on Sunday night, then caught the earliest flight she could get on Monday morning. I felt a little guilty that I'd barely talked to her since she'd gotten in, but I knew she understood.

Ann was, of course, still there. She spent almost as much time with Kevin as I did, although she was smart enough to leave occasionally for some sleep.

I, on the other hand, was running on adrenaline. And not even very much of that. If not for the others, I wouldn't even eat in a day. All I did was sit in Kevin's room, holding his hand and talking to him.

Sometimes I'd sing him a song if I could think of one. Other times, I would simply tell him I loved him, and I missed him. Once in a while, I cried, but I always left the room when that happened. He didn't need the negative emotions around.

The police had been in to visit me several times. Unfortunately, I hadn't been much help. All I could tell them was that there were six of them. I was able to give them a rough description of the leader, and Tom told them where we'd been at the time. Other than that, there was nothing we could do but hope that Kevin could add more when he woke up.

The guys were there as much as possible. Once a day, they went outside to talk to the fans who'd gathered. A vigil of sorts had started across the street. There were enough people on the sidewalk that the police were called in to ensure that no one got hurt, or obstructed the entrance to the hospital.

Brian, Nick, AJ, and Howie would take turns going out, signing autographs, thanking everyone for being there, for their support and prayers. I was told that there were several thousand people out there at any one time, saying prayers and lighting candles.

The work on the album had come to a complete halt. According to AJ, one of their managers had made a suggestion during a meeting that they'd had yesterday morning to the affect that the other guys could do studio work without Kevin. Brian apparently stood up, told them all to go to hell, and walked out. That same manager was no longer a manager when the other guys left that meeting.

"Come on, DJ, let's go back to the hotel and," Nick started in again.

"No, Nick," I replied, this time finding that firm tone I was looking for. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Fine, then!" Nick exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air and walking out of Kevin's room.

"You really should go, you know," Ann's voice came from across the room.

"I know, Ann, but I can't leave. I won't be able to sleep away from him, anyway," I told her, letting the exhaustion creep into my voice.

Ann sighed, turning back to her reading. She'd brought a book along and was reading it to Kevin. I don't think it was one he liked, just something so he could hear her voice.

I walked back to my chair next to his bed. I dropped down into it, again taking his hand in mine, lightly stroking the back of his hand.

"Come back to me, Kevy," I whispered. I lay my head down next to his hand, dropping a light kiss on it. I tuned in to Ann's voice a moment later. A few seconds after that, I drifted into a troubled sleep.

Someone was stroking my neck. Just like Kev always did. It felt so nice to feel the touch. I didn't want to move, didn't want to do anything that might disrupt the contact. I eventually opened my eyes.

It took me a second to get my bearings. I was in Kev's hospital room, sleeping in my chair next to his bed. The light in the room was a little dim. I guessed that it was moving into evening. And then I realized whose hand was stroking my neck.

"Kev?" I whispered.

"Hey," he said, his voice dry and scratchy.

I lifted my hand to take his, clutching it tightly as I shifted my head off of his mattress. I stared up towards his face.

He was awake. His eyes were open. He was staring at me. I'd never seen anything so beautiful in my life as the sight of his green eyes reflecting the dim light from the window.

I put his hand to my lips, giving it a kiss. I slid my face over so my cheek was resting on the back of his hand. His skin, his touch felt so wonderful.

Neither of us spoke for a minute. I had no idea what to say. So many things were racing around in my mind, so many things I wanted to tell him.

"I love you, Kevin," I finally whispered, breaking the silence.

"I love you, too, Dylan," he replied.

I stood, then, sliding my free hand up to his face. I stroked his cheek, lightly feeling the stubble there. I leaned down and gently kissed his lips.

I stayed bent over him when the kiss was done, staring into his eyes. I couldn't believe how beautiful they looked. I felt tears welling up in mine.

"You had me so scared, Kevy," I said. "I thought I'd lost you there for a while."

"I told you, Dylan. We'll be old and gray together. I won't let you get rid of me this easily," he said.

He started to cough a little then. I guess his throat was too dry to do much talking. But, I was reluctant to give him water with his wounds. I reached up to hit the button to call the nurse.

"No," he whispered. "I'm ok. Just sit here with me a minute. Just the two of us. Please?"

I nodded, shifting my weight to lean against his bed. I held his hand in mine as I gently stroked the side of his face with my other. He turned his head into my hand, apparently enjoying my touch as much as I did his.

"I could hear you, ya know," he whispered. "I could hear you calling me, asking me to stay."

"Which time?" I wondered, giving him a small smile. "I've been begging you to come back for almost five days now."

"That long?" he whispered, smiling back. "Seems like just yesterday to me."

I couldn't resist any longer. I leaned down and kissed him again. It wasn't intended to be more than a light peck, but Kev opened his mouth a little, sliding his tongue to my lips.

The kiss deepened. Not much. Just enough so we could taste each other. Just enough for both of us to show how we were feeling. I eased away from him a few minutes later.

"I should go tell everyone that you're awake," I whispered. He nodded. "Don't fall asleep on me, ok?" I asked him, only partly joking.

"Promise," he whispered back.

I walked quickly from his room, looking up and down the hall. I went to the nurse's station first and let them know he was awake. I also let them know about his throat being dry so they could give him water if possible.

None of our friends were around. I checked the waiting room, but it was empty. I decided to quickly run down to the cafeteria and check before calling the hotel.

Everyone was there, finishing up a meal. I took a moment as I stood in the door to take stock of everyone. Kev's family. My family, too, I guess. We were very lucky to have them. I walked over to their table.

"He's awake," I said, my tired voice breaking in on their conversation.

Two seconds later, I was standing there alone. I smiled slightly to myself at their enthusiasm, then turned to follow them back upstairs.

I stepped quietly into Kevin's room. Everyone was crowded in by his bed. I stood back, watching the joy on everyone's face as they all talked to him. Lindsay caught my eye a moment later, then walked over to give me a hug.

I hugged her, squeezing her tightly to me. I could feel tears sliding down my cheeks. I was so happy to have him back again. The relief at his waking up came crashing into me.

Suddenly, I needed air. I felt like I was being smothered in the close quarters of his room. Too many people in too small a space. I jerked back from Lindsay. I saw the question in her eyes just before I turned and ran out. I heard her call my name as I sprinted for the stairs.

I made it to the roof in no time. I knew someone would be up to watchdog me in another minute. The hospital seemed to frown on civilians being up here. But, that gave me a minute to get my bearings.

I ran to the furthest corner of the roof, then collapsed onto the cold rooftop. I was dizzy. The lack of proper rest these last days combined with the sprint up several stories of stairs had me seeing stars. I lay on my back taking deep, gasping breaths and staring up at the cloudy night sky.

I didn't know what'd happened. I'd just panicked, freaked out at all the people. The stress of days caught up to me, then, and more tears started to fall. I curled up in a ball and just cried. Tears of relief, tears of joy, tears of exhaustion even.

"DJ, man, what's wrong?" AJ's voice spoke up next to me. I felt his hand on my shoulder a minute later.

"God, AJ, I'm sorry," I whispered between sobs. "I just...I don't know...panicked."

"Dylan, it's ok, man. You been totally stressed for days. You haven't been eatin' right, and I'm bettin' you haven't gotten shit for sleep, have ya?" he asked.

"I don't really know, AJ. Everything's starting to just blur together. I'm gettin' so tired." I paused. "But he's awake...he came back to me..."

"Come on, DJ," he said. I turned to see him with a hand outstretched. I slowly reached out and took it.

AJ helped me to stand. I stumbled a little when I got to my feet. He put his other hand on my shoulder to steady me.

"Come on, man, time to get you to a bed," he said, pulling me along towards the door. I blindly followed, the exhaustion of what felt like a lifetime finally catching up to me.

"Look who I found," AJ said as we walked back into Kevin's room. The crowd hadn't dwindled, but they weren't all standing as close to Kev as they had been. "Nick, you mind giving Dylan here your chair? I think he needs to sit."

Nick stood up from what had been my chair before everyone else showed up. AJ guided me over to sit down next to the bed. Kev was staring at me with a concerned look on his face. I gave him a weak smile and reached for his hand.

"You ok, D?" he asked. I just nodded, resting my cheek against his hand.

"Put it this way, Kev," AJ supplied. "He's pretty much been awake for the entire four days that you been asleep."

"I couldn't leave, Kev," I said, staring sleepily into his face. "I knew I'd never be able to sleep without you anyway, and I had to be here when you woke up."

"And he's awake, now, Dylan," Lindsay spoke up. "You can go back to the hotel and sleep."

"NO!" I announced. "I'm not leaving him." I squeezed Kev's hand, pressing it tightly to my face. I think my voice sounded slightly hysterical, but the fact was that I wouldn't leave him. I couldn't. Not yet.

"Ok, then," AJ spoke up. "Nick, come with me."

"Where're we goin'?" Nick wondered.

"On a mission," was all AJ would offer as he led Nick out of the room.

"Voila!" he said when they came back a few minutes later. Nick followed him in pushing a gurney.

"Your great mission was a gurney, AJ?" Brian asked.

"No, B-rok. My `great mission' was to find Dylan a place to sleep. He won't leave Kevin to go to a bed, so I brought the bed to him."

AJ seemed very proud of himself. I had to admit, it was a good THOUGHT for a plan, if not much of an execution.

He walked over to me, pulling me out of my chair and pushing it out of the way. He had Nick wheel the gurney over next to Kevin's bed, then turned to me and patted one hand on it.

I stared at it, a little leery about the comfort level. But, I was so tired that I could probably sleep on a concrete slab and feel comfortable. I hopped up and lay down, turning on my side to face Kevin. I reached a hand across to take his.

"And now, I think it's time for the rest of us to get outta here and let these two rest," Howie spoke up.

"I'll stay with my sons, if you don't mind," Ann said. I jerked my head over to look at her. She just gave me a small smile and a nod back. I sighed and settled back down on my makeshift bed.

"G'night, Dylan," Lindsay said, leaning down to give me a kiss on my temple.

"Night, Linds. Thanks. For everything." I was dropping off, now. I heard people shuffling out the door. I felt Kevin squeeze my hand one more time.

"I love you, Kevin," I whispered as I slipped away. "Thank you for coming back to me."

"I love you, too, D. And I'll always come back to you," he replied.

"Promise?" I asked.

"Promise." His soft voice was the last thing I heard before I finally slept.

Chapter 91

I could hear someone talking as I came out of my sleep. It took a moment to remember where I was. I tried to focus on the voices, taking the time to figure out who was speaking.

"...really appreciate what you said last night, Mom." That was Kevin. My Kevin. He was awake. It hadn't been a dream.

"It's only the truth, Kevin," Ann's was the other voice. "Dylan's a member of this family, now. Even if you haven't taken any vows in front of witnesses, I know you've both taken vows in your hearts. Anyone can tell that just by looking at the two of you." She sighed.

"Son," she continued, "I know I haven't always been supportive of you, or of your relationships. But, I've come to realize that my acceptance is secondary to your needs. And that by not accepting who you've become, I only cause you pain."

"I'm sorry, Kev, that I caused you any pain over these last few years. It's obvious that you've gone where your heart has taken you. You're a good man, and a good son, and I'm proud of who you've become. And I know your father would be proud, too."

"Thanks, Mom," Kev whispered. "You don't know how much it means to hear you say that. Or to hear you call Dylan your son. His own family hasn't really treated him well, and I know it means a lot for him to hear that from you."

I decided it was time to `wake up'. I felt a little guilty for eavesdropping on the two of them.

I slowly opened my eyes, taking stock of my surroundings. I had somehow managed to work myself around so my head was resting on Kevin's bed near his waist while the rest of me was curled up on the gurney. Kev was holding one of my hands against his chest. He had his other hand resting against the back of my neck.

"I see someone's awake," Ann spoke up. I smiled a little, not moving away from Kevin's touch.

"I hope we didn't wake ya, D," Kev said from above me.

His voice was still quiet. There was a trace of pain behind it. I realized my arm was resting partially over his bandages, so I moved to shift it off of him. He held my hand tightly against his chest, not letting me pull it away. So, I settled for holding the weight of my arm off of him.

"No, Kev," I replied, my own voice scratchy from sleeping. "It was just time to wake up. And, speaking of time, what time is it?"

"It's coming up on noon," Ann said. "You've been asleep for quite a while."

I shifted then, easing my head up off of the bed and leaning up on one elbow. I looked up to see Kev smiling down at me.

"Nice bed-head, sweetie," he said.

"Yeah, well," I grumbled, "Not all of us can be naturally devastatingly handsome like you are, Kev. It's not my fault you got your parents' perfect genes."

"But not his parents' manners and refinement, obviously," Ann said with a little smile.

"Where's everyone else?" I wondered.

"They'll be along in a little while. We all figured it'd be better if I was the only one visiting until you were both awake," Ann said. I nodded, turning to Kevin.

"How're you feelin', Kev?" I asked.

"Not bad, all things considered. The pain's less today, and the doc says that I might even get to go home in a week or so if nothing serious comes up. They have to keep me here so they can restrict my diet," he said. He got a little smirk on his face. "I'd kill for one of AJ's Big Mac's right now."

"Well, I guess I'd better get cleaned up since SOMEONE's complaining about my current look," I said, giving Kev a sarcastic look. He just smiled back, the picture of innocence. Four days in a coma and he STILL looked better than I did after just twelve hours in bed.

I slid off of the gurney and walked over to my suitcase. The guys had brought it over a few days before when I'd basically made it clear that I wouldn't leave until Kevin was better. I grabbed a change and headed for Kevin's bathroom.

I came out of the bathroom to a room full of people. The rest of the guys were there, although I didn't see Leighanne anywhere. I remembered that Brian had said she'd have to leave this morning.

Megan, the press agent that the Firm had sent over, was there, asking Kev a few questions about how he was feeling. I was a little upset that she was bugging him, but I knew the fans would want info on his condition. Plus, she was being pretty easy about it, not grilling him or anything.

And, of course, Lindsay was there, too. She walked over when she saw me come out of the bathroom.

"How're you feeling this morning, Dylan?" she asked as she gave me a hug.

"I'm doin' a lot better now that he's awake, Linds," I replied quietly. I didn't want anyone overhearing me for some reason.

"You still look like you need sleep," she said. "How long've you been up?"

"Maybe 20 or 30 minutes is all. Not really very long, actually," I told her. "The important thing is that he's awake, Linds. I've got forever to catch up on my sleep."

She studied me for a minute, then nodded her head. I was glad that she understood. Kevin was too important to me to waste time away from him right now. For my own sanity if nothing else, I had to stay close by.

"Hey, DJ, you lookin' a bit better today," AJ said, walking up to give me a short hug. "The moving bed idea worked, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that," I told him with a smile. "But, next time, couldn't you just steal a nice queen size or something so I can sleep with Kevin?"

"Steal?" AJ got a mock-offended look on his face. "Me? I didn't steal nothin', man. I borrowed!"

"Whatever, dude, next time, BORROW somethin' bigger so I can sleep WITH my man," I joked.

"And speakin' of `your man'," Kev's voice drifted over. I looked up to see him smiling at me. "He didn't get his good mornin' kiss today."

I smiled, shaking my head and walking over. Nick and AJ felt it necessary to pipe up with hoots and cat-calls. I just shot them a glare before leaning over to give Kev a peck on the cheek.

"You call that a kiss?" Nick asked.

"Sorry, Nicky. But, unlike you, I'm not a big fan of performing in front of audiences," I joked, turning my head slightly to look over at Nick.

"And what if I am?" Kev's soft voice came to me. I turned back to look down at him. He had a smile on his face and a little glint in those green eyes.

"Fine, be that way," I faked a grumble at him. He just chuckled as I leaned down to kiss his lips.

The kiss wasn't deep. I purposely kept from getting carried away. As awake as he seemed, Kev was still pretty weak. I didn't want to hurt him. But, even without the depth, the kiss was still beautiful.

"I missed you, D," Kev whispered just after we separated. I doubt anyone else even heard him. I leaned in to whisper in his ear, as well.

"I missed you, too, Kev." I pressed my lips against his forehead before I stood.

"Alright, you two," Ann spoke. "You've said your good morning's. Let the rest of us have a chance to speak."

I turned over to her, a little nervous about her reaction to our show of affection. All I saw was a smile on her face, and happiness in her eyes. She really did approve, which meant the world to me.

"So, what're you gonna do when you get outta here, Kev?" I asked as we lay next to one another that night.

"I dunno, D," he replied softly. "Doc Jacobson says it'll be a while before I can start performing again. I need to give the muscles in my abdomen a while to heal."

I'd finally found out what the Richardson's relationship was with Dr. Jacobson. It turned out that he'd been working on Kevin's father's case years ago. He'd basically gone through all of that, including his death, with their family.

I'd also found out that the reason the nurses had been so afraid of him that day was that he was the chief of staff here at the hospital. He had a lot of influence over their lives. It was good to have connections, I guess.

"Gonna take it easy, huh?" I replied.

"Actually, I was wondering if you might be interested in taking a vacation," he said.

"I dunno, Kev. I still haven't worked out everything with Anna, yet. But," I paused, "I would like to just take a break and be with you. Maybe you can help me decide where to put my furniture."

"What, are you rearranging your house already? You only moved in a few months ago," he joked.

"No," I said. I shifted up and looked into his eyes in the dim light. "I meant you can help me decide where to put my stuff in your...in OUR house." He didn't say anything for a bit, just looked into my eyes.

"D, are you sure?" he asked.

"Kev, if there's one thing that this whole miserable week has taught me, it's that I don't wanna live without you," I replied. I took a deep breath and looked away to the window before continuing.

"I can't even begin to explain what I've been feeling these last days before you woke up. The anger, the fear, the guilt," my voice dropped to a whisper, "... terror." I paused as a shudder ran through me.

"It made me realize that I don't wanna be away from you. Even if I can't travel with you all of the time, I want to be able to be with you every possible moment when you're home. And that means moving in with you."

"What about your house?" he wondered.

"Well, if I try to sell this soon, I'm gonna take a bath on it. So, I thought I'd find a nice couple to rent it from me. Just charge them enough to cover the mortgage and some basic maintenance. I should be able to find someone without a lot of trouble." He nodded.

"But, I will need to find a job, and that might take time," I said. "I'm still wanting something that will allow me to travel with you guys if possible. So, until then, I'll have to see what happens."

"D," he started, then paused. "If it comes down to it, I'll pay your bills until you find a job." I opened my mouth to protest, but he silenced me with a finger on my lips.

"If it bothers you too much, then keep track of things and pay me back later. But, if it's a question of dropping some cash on your bills versus having you here with me, I'll choose you in a second." He paused again, staring into my eyes.

"Please, just think about it?" he pleaded. I nodded.

I knew, no matter how it nagged on my conscience, that I'd let him do it if it meant staying here with him. The fact of the matter was that I needed to be here with him, probably as much as he seemed to need me here. After the scare we'd both been through, neither of us could stand to be apart.

"When are you gonna tell Anna?" he asked.

"Probably tomorrow. I'll give her a call in the morning," I replied. He just nodded.

I settled back down on my `bed' then. I wanted him to try to sleep, so I was pretending to do the same. The fact was that my mind was too active at the moment to get to sleep.

I hadn't spoken to Anna since before the attack. Howie had called her on Monday morning, but I was too preoccupied with Kevin to even think about work. I figured I'd have one of `em bring my laptop with tomorrow. I could try to get some stuff done then.

I paused to consider the whole job thing. I wouldn't admit it to anyone else, but I would've been ok with Kevin supporting me. It would've bugged my conscience, of course, but I'd be with him, at least for a while, and that'd be enough to make me happy. Life was more than a job.

But, I also knew that I'd eventually get bored. Kev and the guys had amazingly hectic schedules when they were `working', and there'd be a lot of time when I would be left to my own devices. Rehearsals, interviews, public appearances. I'd be wanting some work to fill my time while the world took over Kev's time.

So, the only option was finding a job that would allow me to not only keep busy, but also do the travelling I wanted to do. I had no idea how I was going to find that.

"Dylan," Kev's soft voice interrupted my mental wanderings.

"Yeah, Kev?" I asked, surprised he was still awake.

"You're thinkin' too hard. Just give it up and go to sleep," he said. I chuckled at how well he knew me.

"Yes, dear," I meekly replied.

"Good," he said.

"Love you, Kevy," I told him.

"Love you, too, D," his voice was quieter now. "Now get some sleep." And I did.

To be continued... ------------------