Forever

Disclaimer ----------

This story is completely in the mind of the author and is not intended to reflect the actual personalities or sexualities of the Backstreet Boys (no matter how much the author might wish it otherwise!). If any member of BSB is gay, it's their life and their business (but they can feel free to e-mail me and complain about the story). Don't read this story if you're too young in your corner of the world. Don't read this story if it's illegal in your corner of the world. No hamsters were harmed during the filming of this movie, etc. etc. etc.

<Author's comments following the story, since I know you're ALL dyin' to see what happens after last episode's cliffhanger ;-)>

Previously on 'Forever': This time when I woke up, it was to a warm body next to me. Much better! I would have to congratulate him. Later, of course. Right now, I was too busy enjoying the lips that had started nibbling on my ear. And too drowsy to notice that something didn't feel totally right.

I was laying on my side, facing the wall again. He was behind me, pressed up against my back. He started running his hands around me, skimming one over my stomach while the other ran through my spiky hair. The roving fingers on my stomach slowly made their way down to my waist, hesitating when he reached my boxers.

I smiled as he paused, figuring he'd say something about the fact I was violating the `dress code' I'd mentioned to him earlier: nude when in bed. I'd taken off my t-shirt, but drifted off before I stripped all the way down.

To my surprise, he didn't say anything, just started kissing down my cheek. I guess he just wanted to keep the mood going. I turned my head, giving him access to my lips as his hand slid into my boxers. He wrapped his hand around me, giving me a squeeze, and I moaned as he slid his tongue in my mouth. I brought one hand up to the side of his head, planning on pressing him further into my mouth, when I realized somethin' was VERY wrong. Kevin didn't have that many earrings. And he wasn't wearing the hoop style.

I surged out of bed, stumbling back into the wall. I almost tripped over a chair, but managed to catch myself. I couldn't find a light, so I yanked the curtains open. There was enough light coming in from the city outside to show me my guest.

"AJ?!?!?"

And now...'Forever'...

Chapter 25

"What the hell are you doing, man? Are you NUTS?" I screamed at AJ.

"Nah, man, not at all," he said as he stood, slowly moving towards me. "I just figured you and I could, ya know, get to know each other a bit better."

I threw a glance to the door, wishing Kev would walk through it. That reminded me.

"What are you doing here, AJ? You're supposed to be with the other guys. And how the fuck did you get in here?"

"I told the guys I wasn't feelin' well, so I could come back alone. And the nice lady at the front desk was kind enough to give me a key to my bandmate's room since I had to get some stuff outta there," he said.

"Yeah, well, y'all've had your fun. Time to go bye-bye now," I said.

I was NOT happy. Yeah, he was kinda cute and all, but I LOVED Kev. I wouldn't do something like that to him. Frankly, I was pissed that AJ could think I'd be interested in cheating on my boyfriend. And that he'd do this to his own friend.

And the way he had touched me. ALL of me. I blushed, embarrassed at what he had done. I started to walk by him, making my way towards the door. He grabbed my arm, spinning me down onto the bed before falling on top of me.

"Come on, man. Kev's gone for a while. We've got time to fool around a little. You were enjoyin' it earlier." He put his hands on mine, pulling them up over my head.

"I thought you were Kevin earlier, AJ. Now just knock this shit off before you do something we'll all regret," I said.

He ignored me. He started pushing his body into mine. I could feel his hard-on pressing into my leg. He leaned in and started kissing me again. I turned my head to the side, trying to avoid his mouth. He decided to go back to my ears and neck.

`Damn, he's a lot stronger than he looks,' I thought as I tried to get him off of me. I pushed as hard as I could, trying to get him to let go. I wasn't having much luck. I was still tired from all the other shit going on.

"Come on, Dylan, quit fuckin' around." He said softly into my ear before pulling his head back. Our eyes were locked. "You know you want it. We both do. So let's just go for it. Kev'll never know," he said.

"Wanna bet?" came Kev's voice from the door.

I thought my heart was gonna explode in relief. Kev had a look of cold fury on his face. Nick was behind him, although I had no idea why. His mouth was practically on the floor. AJ jumped off of me, his arousal clear in the light from the door. I just rolled over and climbed off of the bed.

"AJ, it's time to leave," Kev said. AJ started to say something, but Kevin shut him up with a look. "Get out, AJ. Now."

AJ quickly grabbed his clothes, sliding by the guys and heading out the door. I slumped in relief, then walked over to Kevin, smiling.

He stiffened when I put my hand on his shoulder. The smile on my face began to fall as I realized that he was still angry. And it was directed at me.

"Kevin?" I asked a thousand questions with his name. He didn't respond. Just stared at me, furious. It dawned on me what this looked like. And what he was thinking.

"Kev, it is NOT what you're thinking," I began. He didn't wait for me to finish.

"Oh, really? Looks to me like you and AJ were about to have a little fun. I thought it was kinda strange that the two of you got me to go out, then he was suddenly not feelin' good," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm and naked anger.

I stepped back, feelin' a little like he'd punched me. THAT was what he thought?

"You think we set this up." I whispered, then continued, building in volume, "You think the two of us got you out of here on purpose so we could fuck?"

I could tell by the look in his eyes that it was exactly what he was thinking. I was...stunned. I had no idea what I was supposed to say.

I wasn't hurt so much that he assumed what he did when he came in. Hell, I'd've thought the same thing if I'd walked in on him like that. What hurt the most was the fact that he didn't even give me the benefit of the doubt. He didn't even let me try to explain. I loved him so much...and he actually thought it was possible for me to just fuck AJ at the drop of a hat.

"I see," I said, hesitantly. I just...died inside.

I dropped my face, looking down at the floor. I was having trouble breathing. I knew I had to go. I had to get outta there. I didn't know where I was gonna go, but I knew it had to be somewhere else. "I guess I should be going, then."

I turned and grabbed my suitcase, quickly zipping up the cover. I looked around the room, grabbing my Birks. I turned to Nick, ignoring the look on his face.

"Nick, would you mind if I slept in your spare bed? If you do, I can get a different room. It's only for tonight," I paused, looking over at Kevin. He was looking past me, out the window. "I think I'll be leaving in the morning." I stared at Kevin. He refused to meet my gaze. I shook my head.

"Um, yeah, sure, Dylan," Nick finally answered. "You can crash in my room." I nodded and moved past them.

`Looks like I'm the one walking out this time,' I thought. Nick followed me out, and I heard the door shut behind me.

Nick took the lead once we were in the hall, grabbing my suitcase as he passed me by. I just stumbled after him. I didn't really know what else to do. I was just out of it.

We'd had such a beautiful day. We'd spent so much time together. We'd just...BEEN with each other so much that day. And suddenly, it was all gone. He'd just erased that day, maybe even our entire relationship, with a cold look from his eyes.

I collapsed onto a bed once Nick got the door open. I curled up in a tight ball, staring at the wall. I heard Nick moving around for a minute before he spoke.

"D, you gonna be ok alone for a second?" I didn't respond. I think he knew that I wasn't going to answer, that I was just gonna sit there. I heard the door open and close.

I lay there for a few more seconds. I was in a fog. I felt like I'd stepped into the Twilight Zone. I couldn't think; I couldn't focus.

Then, it hit me. I knew what I needed. I knew where I had to go.

I stood up, grabbed a pair of sweats, and walked out the door, moving with a purpose, ignoring everything around me. I didn't really even see anything around me. I knew where I had to go.

I stepped into the elevator and hit the button for the lobby. I knew where I had to go. It was becoming like this mantra in my head.

`I know where I have to go.'

Chapter 26

I walked out into the lobby, looking around for a sign that would point me in the right direction. I spotted what I was looking for and turned to my right, walking down a large hallway to a set of double doors that opened outside.

The pool was flickering in the moonlight. I could see the reflection of the lights from the hotel and the sky in its surface. It was a little eerie to look at, actually. Since the pool lights were off, the water was a black, shiny mass, reflecting everything that hit it.

I spotted a lounge chair and went over to it, quickly lying down. And there was what I'd come here for. The sky. The stars. Calm, cold, unchanging. The light from those stars had left thousands, possibly millions of years before I was born. It would continue to arrive for millions of years after I was gone. They didn't care about anything that happened here. They just continued on.

I don't know how long I lay there, just staring up at the sky. The traffic passing by not far away faded into background noise. I entered a private place in my mind, away from everyone and everything.

It had happened some times, when I needed an escape. I would basically black out, disconnect. When I would wake up, time would have passed, but I'd never realize it. I never knew how much had passed, and I didn't remember anything that had happened while I was out. It was never for long and never too deep. But sometimes it was exactly what I needed.

When I came back this time, Nick was shaking me. I blinked my eyes a few times, trying to bring myself back out of my `zone. I looked over at him, seeing a concerned expression on his face, mixed with relief.

"Dylan, are you ok? Why'd you take off, man? When I got back and couldn't find you, I freaked. I've been lookin' for you for like 45 minutes," he said.

"I'm sorry, Nick. But, there are times when I'm not feelin' 100% that I just need...I need to see the sky, the stars. I've always been like that. The night sky is kinda soothing for me," I explained, trying not to sound foolish. Nick just nodded.

"The ocean is like that for me. When I have problems, I find a beach, preferably a quiet one. If it's night, so much the better. The sound of the waves breaking, the dark blue of the sky as it meets the blackness of the water far away," he stopped. Maybe he did understand after all. "That's why I came here. If I'd been havin' a problem, I would've come to the pool. It's the closest thing to a beach that I could find in a hotel."

I nodded, understanding. It wasn't until then that I realized just how deep this guy really was. He was always a little goofy, the eternal kid, maybe. It was just his way. But, he also had a depth of character that would probably surprise a few people. In a way, I felt special that he'd showed it to me.

"Dylan, about Kev," he began, but I lifted a hand to stop him.

"No, Nick. There's nothing to say about him," I said softly.

"But he didn't mean," he tried to start, and I stopped him again.

"But that's just it, Nick. He did. He walked in, caught AJ on top of me, grinding away, and assumed that we'd hatched some evil plot to get him out of the way so we could fuck like dogs," I couldn't keep a trace of bitterness from entering my voice. I sighed, continuing, "but it wasn't just that. I could understand that initial reaction. AJ wasn't exactly on his best behavior, and what Kevin saw was definitely not something innocent," I stopped, lifting my eyes to Nick's.

"But, man, Nick, he never even asked me. He never even gave me the benefit of the doubt. When I tried to explain, he shut me down. How can I live with a man, even one I love as much as Kevin, when he doesn't even trust me, doesn't even know me enough to understand that I would never do something like that?"

"Sex is so special to me, Nick. Up until now, I've only had a handful of partners in my life. None that even come close to meaning what Kevin does to me. I don't do one-night stands. I have sex because of the connection it gives to the person I'm with. Without that connection, sex is meaningless and empty for me. And Kev believes that I could just toss that aside and jump AJ just because...hell, I don't even know WHY Kev thinks I'd want AJ."

Tears were gathering in my eyes. I wiped them away. I was tired of crying. I had cried more tears in the last six months than I had in the 25 years prior to that, I think. It wasn't like me at all.

"AJ wasn't...entirely honest when he told ya what happened with Glen, Dylan, about why Kev ended it," Nick broke in on my thoughts. I glanced up and met his eyes. "Actually, no one but Kev and I knows the real reason that Kev figured Glen out." He waited, so I nodded for him to continue.

"We were at rehearsal one day. I don't even remember where we were. Kev and I were takin' a break while the other guys worked through their solo songs," he paused to explain, "We each did a solo during our first tours. Helped to fill space on the bill and also gave us a chance to show off our individual voices," he said. I nodded. I had seen a concert or two on TV that had them performing alone.

"He and I headed to the back to grab some food. When we walked into the side room, Glen had another guy bent over the couch. Literally. They didn't notice us there, so Kev got to hear Glen tellin' this guy all about how much better he was, how Kevin couldn't come close. I think the worst was that, when Glen finally noticed us, he didn't even stop. He just kept goin'. Kev and I left before he finished. It helped Kev see that Glen was messed up. They were broken up the next day, and we never told the other guys why."

He stopped, letting me digest this latest `Glen-revelation' that was goin' on. I really HAD stepped into the Twilight Zone.

I stood up from my chair, moving across the patio. I needed a good pacing area. I walked back and forth for a few minutes, trying to work things out in my head. I finally came up with my answer and turned back to Nick.

"So?" I asked. I think that one floored him, as he got a look on his face like someone had just given him a swift kick for no reason. I began to pace again.

"So what, Nick?" I asked again. "I'm not Glen. I'm Dylan. Glen might be the type to cheat. I'm not. Glen might be the type to blackmail. I'm not," I said. "God, Kev talks about forgetting the mistakes of the past, moving on. He talks about us having to be open and honest if we're gonna make this work. Maybe he should practice what he preaches."

I knew I sounded harsh. But I had my reasons. Kevin had hurt me tonight. Badly. Again. Knowing that he'd reacted the way he did because he was reacting to something Glen had done almost made it worse. I decided to add something for Nick.

"Nick, the fact is that everyone has baggage from something in their lives. I'm not going to go into mine, because I don't think it matters. When things in our present remind us of problems in the past, we have to face them. We can't just retreat behind the excuse that `so-and-so did such-and-such to me before'," I paused, my eyes darkening with memories. I continued a little more somberly, "We all have our crosses to bear, Nick." I turned back to him, gathering myself for one final point.

"And the fact is that Kevin and ALL of you guys seem to be missing a pretty major point," I paused, drawing in a breath. "I AM NOT FUCKING GLEN!!!" I screamed. Nick was quiet, just staring at me.

"No, you're not," Kev's voice cut through the silence.

Chapter 27

I whipped my head in the direction of Kev's voice. He was standing there along with Brian, AJ, and Howie. Our eyes met for a moment, mine reflecting the anger and hurt I felt, his reflecting his sorrow, his confusion.

"Forever, huh, Kev?" I asked softly. He at least had the decency to cringe. I guess that hit the mark. I sighed and turned away, putting my back to all of them and walking across the patio. I leaned up against the wrought-iron fence at the edge of the pool area, resting my head against one of the iron bars supporting it.

I heard someone walking up to me. I knew it wasn't Kev. I could always tell when he came near. A hand rested on my shoulder.

"Dylan," AJ said.

"Forget it, AJ. I don't want to hear anything you have to say right now," I cut him off, refusing to even look at him.

"I told him what happened," he continued. I turned and looked at him.

"It doesn't matter, AJ. What happened between you and me isn't the point. It's not even on the scale as far as I'm concerned," I replied. I don't think he really knew what to say. I turned to all of them.

"None of you get it. This isn't about Kevin's reaction to what happened. Christ, I probably would've started throwing things around the room if I'd walked in on that. It's about the fact that he shut me out. That he didn't even trust me enough to let me tell my side of the story." I met Kevin's eyes across the patio, speaking more softly, as though the others weren't even there.

"This isn't the first time you've closed me off because of something someone else did. The first time, I could forgive you. This time, I'm," I paused, my throat choking off, "I'm not so sure I should. You said we should learn from our mistakes and move on. Maybe this is one of those times when learning from the past means moving away in the present." I turned my back on them again, looking up at the darkening sky. There were clouds rolling across, blocking out the moon.

"He's right," Kevin broke in on the silence. "You're right, Dylan. I blew it. I judged you by what happened with Glen. I was too angry and hurt to even give you a chance. I wish there were some way I could make it up to you. But there isn't, I can't," his voice was shaking now, "so I think you should learn from this and move on, just like you said." His voice broke then, and I heard a sob.

My chest felt like it was going to collapse. He hurt so much. We both did, I guess. I kept my back turned, knowing that if I turned around, I would give in. I wanted to give him another chance, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Goodbye, Dylan," he said, so softly it was barely a whisper on the evening breeze. I could hear his feet on the patio. I could feel his presence moving away from me. Nick decided to step in again.

"Ok, that's about enough, guys," he said in a tone that said `no arguments'. I turned around, shocked. Kevin had stopped, halfway to the door. "Kevin, if you take even one more step towards that door before I'm done, I will personally break your legs. You'll do the rest of the tour from a wheelchair. You got it?" Kevin just nodded.

"Howie, keep an eye on the door. If anyone comes up, give a holler," Nick ordered. Howie nodded and moved closer to the door. Nick turned to me. "This could get messy."

"You said a bit ago that everyone has baggage," he started in on me. "That the important thing is that you don't use what someone did to you in the past as an excuse in the present. But you're doing exactly that, man," he said. "You didn't wanna talk about your baggage, Dylan, because you said it didn't matter. But I think that's exactly what's causin' you to shut Kevin out," he said, using my own words against me. I wasn't sure what he meant until he continued.

"Your family," he said. I sucked in a breath. He and I'd never discussed my family. "In the last year, you've lost everyone who was closest to you. The ones that you should've been able to count on, no matter what. One was from death," and I could hear the sympathy in his voice," the others were because they turned their backs on you. They closed you out for something you had no control over."

"Your mom bothered you because you'd always been very close to her. She was someone that was always there for you, someone you knew you could always depend on."

"But, I think your dad bothered you just as much because, no matter what you say about your relationship, you always wanted him to be proud of you. We all want our dad's to be proud of us," he said this with a sad tone, almost like he'd experienced it himself. "When you were at your grandmother's funeral, and he told you how worthless you were as a son and a man, then decked you," I heard the guys gasp, "I think it hurt you a lot more than even you understand."

I didn't want to admit it, but I knew he was right about that. But how did he know all of this about me? We'd never discussed my family, certainly not to any detail like this. The only one I'd talked to about them here was...my eyes shot over to Kevin. Somehow, Nick knew what I was thinking.

"It wasn't Kevin, Dylan," he said softly. I looked back to him. The light came on. Lindsay. He just nodded at me before moving on.

"You're running scared, man," he said flat out. "You know that Kev could become closer to you than anyone else ever has," he paused, staring straight into my heart, "or maybe you realize that he already has," he continued as I looked away.

"And you're terrified inside that he's going to do the same thing to you that your parents did. That some day, he's going to be a big enough dumbass," he flashed a glance at Kevin before turning back to me, "to turn his back on you for good, leaving you alone to pick up the pieces again." He walked over to me.

"You're using what happened with your parents in the past as an excuse to keep from forgiving Kevin now so you won't have to be hurt in the future. Kev's using Glen as an excuse to keep from letting you in so HE won't be hurt in the future. You've both made mistakes. Maybe it's time you both pulled your heads outta your asses and moved on. Together."

My mind was racing. Was Nick right? Was I doing to Kevin exactly what I'd accused him of doing to me? Using my past as an excuse to hide from my present? From what could be my future?

I leaned up against the metal fence and slowly slid to the ground. I looked up at the sky. And I knew in that moment that Nick was right. Somehow, he'd put it all together, even when I couldn't.

I was avoiding staying with Kevin because I was afraid of what would happen, afraid of what our future could hold. And I was hiding behind Kevin's mistakes. Not only was I turning my back on him for my own reasons, I was using his mistakes to cover up those reasons, blaming him for everything and making myself the martyr, the `innocent victim'.

I crossed my arms on my knees, resting my head on them. I was tired. Exhausted. Emotionally hung out to dry. My mind was just starting to fog over again. I was having trouble processing all that had gone on that night.

And then I felt him. He was there, beside me. He hadn't touched me, although I could tell that he wanted to. I lifted my head and looked at him, staring into those eyes. And his arms were suddenly around me.

I lost it. Again. All I could do was hold on to him, saying "I'm sorry, Kev, I'm so sorry," over and over and over as I cried against him.

I buried my face in his chest. He rocked me back and forth, telling me it was alright, that everything would be ok. And I believed him. I felt another set of arms around me. Then another, and still two more. I felt all of the guys hugging me. Hugging us. And I felt like I belonged to a family again, even if only for this moment.

Chapter 28

"Well, this is sure a Kodak moment."

Trust Nick to drop a stupid line like that into something serious. We all started to chuckle. I could feel Kevin's laughter, and mine just grew. I giggled for a few minutes, then started to laugh outright. Pretty soon, my stomach hurt, and I had tears coming outta my eyes. This time, though, they were falling cause I was laughing so hard.

It wasn't really that it was all that funny. But, after all the tension of the last little while, it was exactly what I needed. It broke the knot that had formed in my chest, made me realize how good I had it. I eventually managed to calm down, regain control of myself.

The guys had broken away from the hug while I was laughing. Kev slid around behind me, wrapping his legs around me, pulling me back to rest against his chest. I was glad that I wasn't the only one in need of the contact.

The other guys fanned out around us, still staying close but not like before. They were all giving me a strange look. The hysterics of my laughter probably had them wondering if I needed to visit a padded room. This, of course, got me giggling again, but I managed to stay in control this time.

I reached an arm behind me and grabbed one of Kevin's. I pulled it around me, resting it on my stomach. He must've sensed what I needed cause he lifted my t-shirt and slid his hand up along my skin. I sighed, finally coming down from the laughter.

"Oh, Nicky! Thanks, man. That was SO what I needed!" I said, smiling at him. He just nodded and smiled back. "You realize, of course, if you keep fixing my life like this, I'm gonna have to start hawking everything I own to pay you off," I joked.

But, it was true. In the time that I'd known him, Nick had given me back Kevin, not once but twice. If my reaction to losing Kevin last time was any indication, Nick had probably saved my life tonight.

"Like I said, Dylly," he KNEW I hated that stupid nickname, "when I see friends in need, I'm there. You were both in some serious need tonight, even if neither of you was smart enough to realize it," Nick said.

I lay there for a moment, just considering how lucky I was to have a good friend like Nick. I may not have many, but the ones I had were gold. I decided it was time to face a few things. I turned my head around, looking at Kev without leaving his arms.

"Kev, I know that things haven't exactly been smooth between us. We've both made some mistakes, and we've both done things that hurt each other. But, I'd like to try to make this thing we have work. Kind of start fresh, right now, from this moment forward, ya know. Learn something from the past, but not let it screw us up anymore. If you're willing?"

His answer was to lean down and touch his lips to mine. There was no sexual feel to it at all, but it was the most passionate kiss I'd ever felt. The universe truly did stand still for a moment.

I heard a throat clear in the silence. I eased back from Kev, turning back around to lean up against his strong chest. I knew we'd have time to continue this later. Now that we were together, we'd have time for anything. I decided to confront something else that was bothering me.

"So, AJ, you wanna explain what happened tonight in front of the guys? Or would you rather wait until we're alone?" I felt Kevin tense up behind me, but I just stroked the arm he had around me. I knew he was angry, distrusting, but I also knew that we had to deal with this or it would only get worse.

"Well, the other guys don't really know, so." he trailed off into silence. I nodded.

"Ok, we can talk alone tomorrow," I said. To my surprise, he shook his head.

"No, I wanna get this out in the open. When somethin' big happens, when one of us really screws up or whatever, we usually talk about it. Especially if it's somethin' that one of us did to another." I saw him look over my shoulder at Kev.

Kev just looked down, putting his face into my neck. I wasn't sure if it was cause of what AJ did or cause of what he wanted to do to AJ. I just squeezed his arm tighter around me, then continued to stroke it. AJ turned to the other guys.

"I kinda made a pass at Dylan tonight," he started out. That got a gasp or two. I raised major eyebrow at that statement. He'd touched more of me in that `pass' than I had touched myself in a month. He had the decency to blush and start again.

"I lied when I told you guys I was sick tonight. I came back to see Dylan. I conned the front desk chick to get a key to Kev's room, then snuck in while he was sleepin' and got in bed with him. I started makin' some moves on him, and he woke up. It was pretty obvious he didn't know I wasn't Kev, but I kept it up. Figured by the time he caught me, he'd be...into it enough to keep goin'."

I could feel Kev starting to shake behind me. His face was still against my neck, so I turned to the side and whispered, "I love you" in his ear. He just sorta nodded against me.

"Well, Dylan figured out I wasn't Kev," he paused here, turning to me. "How'd you do it, man? How'd you know?" I stared at him, wonderin' what the hell relevance this had. But, I figured it couldn't hurt to let him know.

"Two things. One is that I can always tell when Kevin's near me. I can't explain it beyond the fact that...my body knows him, responds in a certain way. I feel an...energy, a vibration from him. Even though I was a little sleep-fogged when you were there, I still knew, deep down, that you weren't Kev," I paused.

"What else?" Nick asked. Apparently, our story was becoming fascinating. I turned to him.

"AJ forgot about the earrings. Kev doesn't wear the same style as AJ. I felt AJ's hoops and knew it wasn't Kev." Nick nodded at my `Sherlock Holmes' moment. I looked at AJ to continue.

"So, Dylan hopped outta bed when he figured out it wasn't Kev. Ripped the curtain off the window and saw who I was. He told me to leave," he slowed here, getting quiet, "but I didn't. I pushed him, tried to convince him to go along with it. When he tried to walk out, I pushed him onto the bed. Kev showed up right after that. And, y'all know the rest."

This was all just background and trivial to me. Having lived through the thing, I really didn't need to hear about it all again. This was for the guys' benefit. I was about to ask AJ my real question when Brian spoke up.

"AJ, man, that's cold. How could you do that to Dylan?" I had to raise an eyebrow at the fact he asked about me before Kev. He did catch it on the next sentence, though. "How could you do that to Kevin? What were you thinkin'?!?!"

"I wasn't, ok?!?" AJ got defensive. "I was jealous. These two obviously had somethin' goin' on, and I got jealous. I figured if Kev was gettin' a little than I probably could, too."

"I wasn't gettin' anything, AJ," Kev broke in, looking up at the guys again. "Dylan and I haven't had sex, not that it's any of y'all's business." There were some surprised looks from the guys. "Geez, guys, we haven't even been `together' a full week yet, not to mention the fact that I'm out on tour now. We decided to wait until we were home."

I sat staring at AJ as Kev spoke. Something didn't feel all that right to me. Something in his story just didn't work. Frankly, he was a hottie. If he wanted someone, man or woman, then he could probably get `em. Then, the light turned on.

"But that's not the whole truth, is it, AJ?" He looked at me, then down at the ground. "You were jealous, yeah, but not because Kev was gettin' a little tail. You were jealous because...," I hesitated, not sure I should say it, "you were jealous because I took Kevin away from you. You love him."

That snapped a few heads around, and brought out a few gasps. The guys all stared at me for a second as I watched AJ. Then, one by one, they turned to him. He just kept staring down.

"AJ?" Kev spoke up.

"It's true, alright?" Another round of gasps. These guys were gonna develop oxygen deprivation if they didn't start breathing normally. "But not like you think."

"Yeah, I was jealous. I love Kev. Not like LOVE him. He's one of my closest friends, even out of you guys," he said. I was relieved when he said that. We were already treading dangerously close to `Days of Our Lives'. If it turned out that AJ was in LOVE with Kev.

He turned to Kev. "But, man, when you get with someone, you just totally shut the rest of us out. You don't hang with us, you're always serious, always thinkin' bout who you're with' and not who you're with."

"I lose a best friend, man. I already saw it happenin' today with Dylan. Only two days together and you were already blowin' us off, blowin' me off. I didn't want it to happen again." He sighed.

"So, I did somethin' so fuckin' stupid that even I'm a little amazed at it. I tried to force myself on my best friend's boyfriend so I could get `em to break up. Lucky for me, Nick here's a whole lot smarter than he looks." He looked around at all the guys before finally staring in Kev's and my direction again.

"Kev, man, I had no idea how strong you felt about him. Not that it's an excuse. What I did was still wrong. I hope you can forgive me for it some day, cause I don't think I could forgive MYSELF if you couldn't."

He stopped for a sec, staring over my shoulder. I presumed that Kev was staring back at him. I finally felt him nod.

"Not today, AJ. But someday, yeah," he said softly. AJ just nodded, relief at Kev's acceptance battling it out with the sadness at Kev's distrust. He turned to me, then.

"Dylan...," he started, the paused. "Hell, I don't even know what to say to you," he said. I stared at him a minute before making a decision.

"It's ok, AJ. You don't have to say anything. I forgive you," I said. This brought another round of gasps and head turnings. "You guys're gonna hurt yourselves if you keep jerkin' your heads around like that," I joked lightly. I got serious and turned back to AJ.

"Look, AJ. We both know what you did was SO wrong. But, it's obvious you feel like shit about it. It's also obvious that you did it out of love, even if it was a TAD," I threw in some sarcasm, "bit misguided. I can't really fault you for having love for the guy who's basically become the center of my universe, can I?" It was cheesy, I know, but it was true. He just sat there. There was just one more thing.

"Having said all of that," my eyes turned stony and my voice went ice cold, "if you EVER try to do to me what you did tonight, you can kiss your chances at a long career goodbye, cause your existence will come to a swift and painful end the second you try it." I paused to look into his eyes. "Do we understand each other?"

He sat there for a minute, his mouth hanging open. I guess he wasn't sure what to say. I just continued to stare, unblinking, letting him know how serious I was. I would never actually hurt him, but he didn't need to know that. Sometimes, a healthy dose of fear is a good thing. He finally nodded.

I relaxed, leaning back against Kevin and closing my eyes. I could tell by the silence that the guys weren't sure what to do next. I figured I should probably do something to loosen things up.

"Now, AJ. Kev and I've decided to start fresh tonight, so I think it'd be good if you and I did, too. We won't forget the mistakes, but we'll learn from `em and move on. Agreed?" He just nodded again.

"Good," I said, turning to the guys. "Cause I have another question I wanna ask you. Are you gay?" He shook his head `no'.

"I don't really classify myself anything but `open'," he said. "I go with what's fun, with what seems right at the time. Most times, it's women. Sometimes guys. I guess I'd be bi if you had to put me in a category." I understood. He'd never really struck me as someone who stuck to boundaries or labels. He always just kinda seemed like his own person. I turned back to the others.

"Guys, I really wanna say thanks. For everything. Except for a few stumbling blocks along the way, you've all been really decent to me. You've accepted me a lot better than," I paused, my eyes clouding over. I cleared my throat and continued, "than others have, and I want you to know I appreciate it."

"Dylan," Brian spoke, "you don't have to thank us. If you and Kev are in this for the long haul, and I'd say you probably are, then you're pretty much family. Especially to me," he smiled at that. I could see why so many people thought he was cute. It was his eyes, if nothing else. So blue. "We watch out for our own." I nodded in gratitude.

We sat there for a little while, no one really saying anything. It was nice that we were all comfortable enough to just enjoy the night together. I worried about AJ for a second, but Howie reached a hand over to touch his shoulder, so I knew it'd be ok.

A few minutes later, as I was starting to drift to sleep in Kevin's arms, the door into the hotel opened. Tom walked out. I guess he'd noticed that we were all missing and decided to check up on us.

"Hey, guys," he greeted us quietly.

"Hey, Tom," Nick replied.

"Is everything going ok out here?" he asked. "I came down a while ago and things looked pretty...intense. So, I took a seat inside and watched the door to make sure you weren't bothered."

"Thanks, Tom, that was cool of you. We had a lot to work out," I spoke up, deciding that I wanted to be the one thanking him since I was the one who'd brought us all out here. Well, maybe not me alone, but close enough.

"I hate to break this up, since it looks like you're all `bonding'," he said with a smile and a hint of sarcasm. Could Tom be a closet smartass? I figured I'd have to check into that. He continued, "but it's going on 3:00am, and there's a full schedule tomorrow. Well, today."

"Cancel it, Tom," Kev spoke up, obviously surprising the guys. Kev looked around. "We've been through a lot tonight. It's been a stress. We can reschedule stuff for Monday since we'll still be here. We have a show tonight and the meet'n'greet beforehand. But we need some sleep." The guys just nodded, obviously not gonna argue.

"Ok, Kev, I'll take care of it. I'll let the managers know you're `off', and I'll even post a guy in the hall to make sure no one bugs you. Take your phones off the hook, and you should be pretty much left alone." Tom just took charge of our day off. I knew he'd be good to his word. I was glad, cause I was tired again, despite all the sleep the day before.

We all gathered ourselves up and stood. AJ and Howie led the way through the door. We moved into the quiet of the lobby. The only noise was the fountain trickling away. The guys started towards the elevator when Kev stopped Tom and I.

"Dylan," he said to me, "why don't you head up? I need to work out a few things with Tom."

"Sounds good," I said. I was getting so tired that I almost forgot where we were as I stepped towards him for a kiss. Fortunately, Tom put a hand on my arm and snapped me out of it. Kev just smiled a little and shook his head. I turned and joined the guys in the elevator.

We all moved off the elevator when it reached our floor. I walked with Nick to his room to grab my suitcase. I followed him in as he held the door for me.

"Nick, I really wanna thank you again. You've been a pretty good friend to me lately, and I don't have a clue how I'm ever gonna repay you," I said, wanting him to understand how much it meant to me.

"Like I said before, Dylan, it's no problem. It's what friends are for," he replied.

I left it at that, not wanting to embarrass him or get too drug down with serious thoughts. We'd managed to lighten up a little outside, and I wanted that to continue for a while. I grabbed my suitcase, said goodnight, and walked down to my room. Our room.

Kev came off of the elevator just as I started looking for my key. Which was probably lucky for me since I had no idea where my card was. He realized my predicament and smiled as he opened the door for us.

It was good to be back in our room again. It had only been a few hours, but it honestly felt like a month had passed. Kev had been right downstairs. We'd all been through a lot tonight. But, I felt like it was all gonna work out.

As soon as I put my suitcase down, I turned and walked into Kevin's arms. His mouth met mine, and the heat that always seemed to exist between us surged up. I felt his mouth open, and his tongue slid out over my lips. I opened my mouth, too, letting him in.

I slid my tongue back into his mouth while I ran my hands over his body. Across his back, up his neck, through his hair, all over. I couldn't get enough of him. I felt like a guy who'd just spent a month in the desert without water.

He pushed me back, causing me to fall onto the bed. I was surprised that our lips never parted when we fell. He was good.

He started pushing down into me, grinding our bodies together. I could feel him, how hard he was. It only made me more excited. Since I was only in sweats, I'm sure he noticed the effect he was having on me. I pulled my mouth away from him for a minute.

"Kev, I love you, so much," I said, barely a whisper. He slowed his movements, then stopped. We just stared into each other's eyes.

"I love you, too, D," he said, his own voice nearly as silent as mine was. "I don't know what I'd do without you here, with me." I smiled.

"Well, that's probably good since I don't wanna be anywhere else," I replied. "Ok, maybe one place," I continued. He lifted an eyebrow. "I could really use a hot," I touched my lips to his, "steamy," I touched our lips again, "mind numbing," again, "shower," I finished. He just smiled back at me. I could tell what he was thinking, but I made him ask anyway.

"You maybe want a little company?" he asked.

"Mmmmmm, that might be nice," I answered.

Kev slowly stood, taking my hand to lift me out of the bed. I followed him into the bathroom. He dropped my hand as he turned to start the water running in the shower.

He turned back to me once the water was going. We just stared at one another for a moment. I let my eyes explore him. The strong, firm lines of his face, the piercing green of his eyes, the quiet strength in his chest and arms, the definition of the veins in his hands, the perfect shape of his torso, the sinewy grace of his legs. Even his feet were beautiful.

I looked back up to his face to find him checking me out in the same way. I didn't have a clue what he saw in me. Compared to him, I was pretty average. Although, compared to him, a LOT of guys were pretty average, I guess.

We each reached for the other, slowly and gently stripping each other's clothes off. I took the time to touch what I had so closely examined with my eyes minutes before. His skin felt so...right beneath my fingertips. Soft and smooth, yet I could feel the hardness of the muscle just underneath.

We finished taking our clothes off, and he stood naked before me. Sleek. Toned. Beautiful. Perfect. He was hard, and so was I. And I knew that, while we might not take it to its ultimate level, the moment had come. Neither of us could wait any more. I looked to his eyes.

"Kev," I said his name, half whisper, half moan. He understood. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he, too, was ready. He simply held out his hand.

I reached out and grabbed it, holding it...holding him as though he was somehow my lifeline. And perhaps he was.

He pulled me towards him, at the same time stepping back into the shower. I followed him, luxuriating in the feel of the steam as the water began to rain down his body, and then mine.

He moved under the showerhead, pulling me to him and kissing me. His tongue slid into my mouth, moving quickly against mine. I pushed back, driving my tongue into his mouth. We battled back and forth, not for any kind of dominance, but to each be closer to the other, in every way we could.

We were pressed tightly to one another. My hands were on his back, holding him as close to me as possible. He had one hand in the small of my back. The other was on the back of my neck, trying to join our mouths even closer.

I pulled away from his mouth, kissing my way down his cheek, feeling the water beating down on me. I ran my tongue over his ear and felt him gasp. I circled the outer edge before taking the lobe in my mouth, gently sucking on it. I felt his body shake in my arms.

I continued my exploration, licking down his neck to his shoulder. I reached down and took his hard cock in my hand. I squeezed it, gently, just so he'd feel it a little. I pulled my face back to look at his.

His eyes were only half-open. I could tell how badly he wanted this. And I could also tell that he wouldn't last long. There'd been too many `almost' moments the last couple of days. Neither of us could hold out for too much time.

I moved us together, taking both of our shafts in my hand at once. I slowly started to stroke us, together, as I pushed my hips into him. I took my other hand to his face, cupping his cheek.

He opened his eyes more, although they were glazed over with passion. I slid my hand around behind his neck and pulled him to me, once again bringing our lips together.

My movement on our cocks was faster, now. I was getting too close. The feel of his body, the touch of his skin, the depth of my love for him. It was all too much. I couldn't hold back, and I didn't think he could, either.

I pushed hard against him, forcing him back against the wall. I worked my hips harder, faster, grinding against him. The heat between us was...overwhelming. My mind just started to go blank. All I could sense, all I could feel, was him.

The heat of his hard, wet body against me. The tight strength held in his taut muscles. His breath on my face as we kissed. His arms around my back, pushing me harder, faster. And when it hit us, we both nearly collapsed.

We shot our loads at nearly the same moment. I groaned into his mouth as I felt the first surge. I continued to push against him as we unloaded together. Pumping out shot after shot.

I just leaned into him, still kissing him, although with less urgency, less demand. Our tongues slid back and forth between our mouths, softly teasing one another.

I finally pulled away from his mouth and just rested my head on his shoulder. I moved my hands to his sides, silently holding him there, just...feeling his presence. I felt his hands on my back, lightly stroking up and down. I sighed, knowing that it was only the beginning for us, that our lives together would only get better from here on. I smiled as I gently kissed his neck.

"I love you, Kevy," I said, murmuring against his skin.

"I love you, too, D," his voice barely a breath.

To be continued... ----------------------

Ok, I thought I'd be nice since I kinda left everyone hanging last time. No cliffhanger on this one. I hope everyone liked it.

In my own defense, the blackmail worked. I got tons of e-mail after the last posting. Thanks to all who wrote. I'm afraid I have something of an inferiority complex where this story is concerned, so it was nice to have all the good words that were sent. I tried to reply to everyone. If I missed you, feel free to write again. I always try to answer my mail.

Having said that, there's no cliffhanger to get a response from y'all this time, but I'd still love to hear from you. I moved into a little bit different territory between Kev & Dylan this time, so I'd lilke to hear what everyone thought.

The Boyband Awards are now taking votes. I encourage everyone to go place votes for their favorites. There's a category for just about everything you can think of. This is a great way to encourage your favorite authors, especially if you're not fond of the e-mail solution. And, a huge thanks to Curlybrok, author of 'Justin's Dream', for doing all the work on 'em.

Hope you all enjoyed the post. I'll catch ya next time.