Tally hated math. She hated her teacher. Hated the school. Hell, she hated everything. After all, she had just seen the girl of her dreams kiss some loser in the hallway. It didn't help matters that Tally knew for a fact that the boy was captain of the football team, not to mention very good looking. What am I doing to myself? I shouldn't want a girl I can't have, expecially one that's very straight. Why do I torture myself like this?
Tally had been thinking of Baily ever since that night two weeks ago when she had taken her in...had helped her...had fallen for her. The pain and frustration were excrutiatingly sharp, not to mention the futileness of the feelings she had to hide. Now she had even more reason to feel embarrassed about her rediculous love. It had been killing Tally to see Baily every day in Home Ec., but it was a slow sweet death she had been looking forward to.
Until now. How was she supposed to look Baily in the eye, the girl she wanted, loved, needed, when she had just witnessed her making out with some guy? Tally looked again at the board she was supposed to be copying notes from, but saw nothing but Baily with her tongue down some guys throat. Doesn't she know I'm way better for her than any guy she could ever meet? Tally thought. I could do everything for her, and she just wastes her time on guys who will never love her, who don't deserve her.
Man I hate math... ***
Why hadn't it helped? It should have helped. Baily couldn't understand herself, nor why she was having such a hard time getting the thought of Tally off her mind. She had tried everything, even going out with another guy, to get the gorgeous brunette with the deep blue eyes and silky tan skin out of her head. Yet, just as with every other guy Baily had ever been with, Brad Thomas had done nothing but leave a sick taste in her mouth and a growing desire for Tally in her heart. What is it about this girl that eats at me? Why can't I just forget about her soft smile with perfect white teeth and dimples? Actually, wait, thats dimple. One. On her right cheek, not her left.
Grrrr, what am I doing to myself? ***
Typically it was a comfortable quiet between the two girls during Home Ec. class. That was not true of later that day. The silence between Baily and Tally was deafening. The awkwardness hung like a black hole in between them, sucking up whatever comments they would have made to ease the tension, and growing larger with each one.
Tally's embarrassment and frustration of earlier that day had changed to anger and self absorbtion. It was a self defense mechanism to keep from getting hurt, one she had obtained years ago, when the constant moving had become too hard to handle. It had been especially helpful a few years later, when her strength would really be put to the test. But now all it was doing was hurting Baily. Tally could see it in the confused look in the other's eyes. I can't hurt her, Tally realized. If I hurt her, I hurt myself.
Baily couldn't understand what was going through the other girl's head. When Baily had greeted her before class with a casual hello (she didn't want to sound to eager, but not disinterested either) Tally had just looked at the other girl with a guarded expression, then went back to copying the rules of sewing that had been printed on the board. Baily WAS confused. And shocked to find how much the other girl's silent treatment was hurting her.
"Did you maybe wanna come over to my house tonight?" If Baily was shocked at the silent treatment, now she was just down right flabbergasted. Tally's invitation had come out of nowhere, sucking the air right out of Baily's lungs, and causing her heart to stop momentarily. She looked over at Tally, who was still staring at her paper, though no longer writing, and looking more red than average.
"Ummm-"
"If you don't want to that's fine, I just thought it might be cool to have you over...plus, we also have that cake project to do, so we could get it finished while you're there." Now Tally was looking at her, her face anxious and unmoving. How could I say no? Baily thought.
"Sure, if it's okay with your parents and everything, I think it would be fun." A smile. Tally melted, then let out a sigh of relief.
"Well, we don't have to worry about my parents, my dad will be at the army base all night tonight, and he won't care if I have a friend over," In fact, he'd probably jump with joy. He'd been bothering Tally just that morning about never inviting friends over.
"What about your mom? Will she care?" At this Tally looked away again, then seemed to gain some composure over herself. She had been dreading this question...questions about her mom.
"No, she doesn't live with us any more," Tally stated matter of factly, in a way that told Baily it wouldn't be wise to push the subject of Tally's mom anymore.
Tally took a deep breath, "So what about your folks? Will they mind if YOU come over?"
"Naw, they don't care what I do," Baily said, her face growing icy and expressionless. Tally gave her a raised eyebrow that begged an explanation. Baily returned it. They smiled, both realizing neither would have to swap sob stories to the other. They both had things they didn't wish to talk about, and the other was perfectly happy to comply. Their smiles grew wider.
Oh great, Baily thought. There's that dimple again.