Disclaimer: All the usual disclaimer stuff applies here. Ya know what I'm talking about. I warn you there's gonna be sex between boys! This is MY story. So if you steal my story I'll hire Liam Neeson to hunt you down, because he's awesome, and I work hard. Now on with the show! :)
Chapter 1:
Come on bell, ring already! Just ring! The clock's moving too slow... This is torture! Why can't we just go home? This is a study hall for Christ's sake. It's not even a real class. Look. The teacher's on her phone. If your last "class" is a study hall you should be able to just go home. Right? You think so don't you? Ugh...
As soon as I finished writing the last sentence in my journal the final bell rang. I usually end up watching the clock the last few minutes. Guess I just got caught up in my writing. Let me tell you, being zoned out like that then hearing a loud noise, I almost shit my pants. My heart was pounding as I jumped out of my seat. Luckily everyone was leaving already. That would have been SOOO embarrassing...
Finally it's the weekend! That took forever. The final weeks of school always go by painfully slow. Less than a week of ninth grade. The last days are gonna drag on forever. Watch. I can't wait for it to end. Waking up without having to go to school. A summer to do nothing but relax and be a hobo. Hang out with friends. Hehe especially Jamie.
Ugh there he is at his locker. Look at him. He's so hot. How did I end up with him as a best friend? Look at me compared to him. He's so much better looking than I am. Okay I'm staring... It's so hard not to though. If I get caught though it's gonna be really awkward. Pull yourself together.
"Hey Jamie."
"Oh hey Aaron. Are you ready? Did you wanna stop at your locker first or?"
"No I'm fine. I'm just gonna take everything home."
We made our way through everyone to the back doors of the school. We live close to the school so we just walk. It's only like a five minute walk to our houses. Jaimie's older brother would pick us up if we asked, but walking's relaxing. I'd rather walk. Clears my mind.
"Well what if I wanted a piggyback ride?" Jaime said in his sarcastically sad voice.
Jamie on my back? Oh God... Just the thought of him on top of me in any way, shape, or form is enough to make me hard. Like...right now... Damn it! Just hide it and it'll go away. He won't notice. It's not like I'm wearing shorts or anything.
"We'll you're shit out of luck then." I joked.
Jaime clung to my arm. "Aw don't be like that baby." There's that sarcastic voice again.
"Haha screw you, get off me." I said and flipped him my middle finger.
"Maybe later on tonight if you're a good boy. Or a very bad boy that I'll need to punish." His voice when he said that legit made my legs weak. I almost moaned just from the sound of it.
Okay here's a confession. I've had this MAJOR crush on Jamie for about two years now. I don't really like it, it makes me feel weird, like it's really wrong or something. Not the part that it's gay, it's the fact he's been my BEST friend since we were in diapers. When we were 12 it sorta just happened. I fell for him. Hard. Just everything about him grew on me. I guess after you spend so much time with a person it's bound to happen. Right? I'm not wrong or weird am I? God I hope not...
It's not like I can help it. I didn't choose to fall for him. I didn't chose these feelings. They just happened. One day I looked at him, and it wasn't the same brotherly look. This look was so much different. I started paying attention to him more than I did before.
"Uh. Don't be weird man. Don't get all gay on me."
Ugh having to wear this disguise can get tiring... I never told him I'm gay. I never told anyone I'm gay. Guess I'm a little scared. Who wants to lose friends or have to put up with your parents? Even though he'd be fine with it, and even though my mom has a gay sister she loves, I'm still scared. Don't ask me why. I don't even know. Sigh.
Even if he finds out I'm gay, even if I finally tell him, he can NEVER learn that I like him. Like ever. If Jamie found out I love him more than my best friend or a brother, things would be weird. Things between us would never be the same again.
"What's wrong Aaron? You look, I don't know, out of it. You're just staring at the ground."
When I replied I made sure he could barely hear me. "I'm fine..."
"Dude I'm your BEST friend. I know when something's up. Just tell me before I have to kick your ass haha."
"I promise. Everything's fine." I said and put on a fake smile. Hopefully he would buy it and just forget about it.
Trust me, I wanna tell you. I know I can tell you anything. This is different though. If you found out my biggest secret, you wouldn't look at me the same way you do. There's just something inside me that tells me if you figured this out, things would change. I could never lose you. You've always been there. That would kill me.
Sometimes I think that if I was straight, things would be easier. Like my whole world would be better. Not that I'd change anything about my life. I'm fine with being gay, it's what I like. Just a little something inside of me tells me it'd be simpler. I'd be able to relate to the other boys. Talk about what they do. Maybe I'd be more into sports. Maybe I wouldn't find my relationship with my best friend so complicated and exhausting! I'd just be able to be me and not hold back.
"Alright. I'll buy it. You're off the hook for now. Now what are you getting me for my birthday next week!"
"I can't tell you! Haha it's a surprise. If you knew now what would be the point?"
We came to the street we lived on, the first house being mine. Usually after school we just hang out at my place. Someone's too lazy to walk to his house at the end of the street hehe, not that I'm complaining. Fridays mean we spend the weekend at one of our houses. My parents love Jamie, and his parents love me. They treat us like we were their own. Our families get along great. Our parents were friends before we were born.
So my house isn't big or anything, but it's not small. Just a nice two level house in a small city. Okay I guess it's kinda big. It's not huge though. It's pretty nice. My mom keeps a garden out in the front, she keeps plants everywhere around the house. I told her she should have a green house or a nursery. Taking care of plants is kind of her thing.
I put my book bag down at the door when we walked in. Ugh it's hot in here, we gotta put the air conditioners in soon. Maybe my mom's boyfriend will do it tonight. It's already getting too hot for fans. This is gonna be a hot summer.
My parents are divorced. My dad lives somewhere in the middle of nowhere. I love him, and I visit him, I just like living here. Maybe it's a fear of moving somewhere new where I know like no one. Plus I'd miss Jamie. Can't that be a good thing though? Moving where no one knows you. A chance at a clean slate. Totally reinvent yourself.
Jamie has no problem making himself feel at home in my house. He's already on the damn couch with his feet on the coffee table. "Comfy yet?"
"It'd be better if your air conditioners were in." Just like that he stripped his shirt off. Oh my God! Look at him. He's not really tan, but he has a tan going on. His stomach. Ugh. You can see a six pack forming. He's what's the word? Toned? Whatever we'll go with that.
His body is amazing. I've always thought he had something going on. He just seems so much like perfection. Closer than me anyways. Not that I'm ugly! I just might have a small self esteem issue. That's what it's called right? He's tan, I'm not. He's got a sexy body and lightly toned, in just skinny. Plus he's a little bigger than me, down there.
If you can keep a secret I'll let you in on something. It's really something I should just put in my journal. Jamie was the first boy I saw naked. Being best friends forever were just naturally comfortable around each other. Although now that we're a little older I kinda get embarrassed around him like that. Anyway. He's kinda how I know I'm not straight.
"Wanna go to your house soon? At least your air conditioners are in."
"Yeah we could go soon. Wanna wait for your mom?"
"It's fine I'll just text her later. Wait here ill go get some stuff."
I never take much of anything when I go to Jamie's. What would I need? Seems pointless to take anything. All I need is a charger for my phone and maybe a shirt and pants. Sometimes I just wear Jaimie's clothes. We're about the same size. Plus I kind of like being in his clothes. It's like I'm wearing my boyfriends clothes. Sigh... I'm weird...
"Okay let's go. Wait I almost forgot!" I can't believe I almost forgot my journal. I never leave my house without it. "Okay NOW I'm ready."
"You always carry around that thing. Ever gonna let me at least take a look inside?"
I held the book close to my body and blushed. "No... No one can read it..." To try and change the subject I started out the door and towards his house.
"Come on dude. What's in there that your best friend couldn't read?"
Ugh come on Jamie... Just drop it. I tell you everything, well, almost. This journal holds my deepest feelings. Things I would never tell anyone. Not my parents, not my future boyfriend, or even my best friend. Things I'd be too embarrassed and scared to say out loud. I wish I had enough courage to say these things, at least to you, but I just don't.
I was the first one to walk in his house. Just trying to avoid the whole journal thing. It's a small thing, a stupid thing I know. I'm just a little protective about it. Doesn't take much to make me uncomfortable. Lame right?
"Nothing dude, can we just talk about something else? Please?"
"Alright. Sorry Aaron."
Yeah it's much better being in his house. Nice and cool unlike my house right now. Anyway. I'm not upset with Jamie. He wasn't pushing me at all. I'm just a coward. Maybe I'll be able to share that kind of stuff with him at least. Not any time soon though... Is it stupid I'm acting like this?
"No don't apologize. It's really fine. It's just, my journal is the one place I have where I can totally be me and not be judged by the world. I'm just not ready to lose that kind of thing. It's one of the only things that makes me feel safe." Woah what did I just say? Wait does that even make sense? Well it does in my head. Ugh he has a confused look on his face. Just change the subject, that always makes things better. "Hey where are your parents?"
"What? Oh. I guess their not home. I didn't check for their car parked along the road. Hey. Let's go up to my room."
Author's Note: Well there's the first chapter of Friendzone! I hope you guys liked it. Sorry it's a little late, wanted this posted like a month ago. It actually took me forever because of some stuff I had goin' on, then technical problems, plus I'm lazy as you guys will learn. Let's just leave it at that... So you's are lucky I kept at this. Had to cut this chapter short because if I didn't it would have never been posted, so I apologize. Also I wanna dedicate the very first chapter to my friend Comicality! He's helped me a lot. So thanks dude and this chapter's just for you. Any comments or questions or whatever email me at writer_noaah@hotmail.com