Disclaimer: All the usual disclaimer stuff applies here. Ya know what I'm talking about. I warn you there's gonna be sex between boys! This is MY story. So if you steal my story I'll hire Liam Neeson to hunt you down, because he's awesome, and I work hard. Now on with the show! :)
Chapter 2:
Jaime's room is pretty cool. Not exactly big but um, tall? The ceilings are high. Kind of wish it was my room...or our room... A boy can dream can't he? In a perfect world that's what it would be. OUR room. But the world is far from perfect... Just like me... I have to stop downing myself like this. It can't be good for me.
"It's kind of cold in here." He put his shirt back on and shook his brown hair. There I am staring at him again. It can't be normal to look at your friend like this. He's so hot when he's shirtless. Ugh I'm such a creeper aren't I?
"It's not that bad in here. I kind of like it. Anyway, it's better than outside, or in my house."
We plopped down on his black leather sofa. It's so cool he has a leather sofa in his room! Or any kind of sofa. Why's my room have to be so plain? Just like me. I wish my room was cooler. I wish I was cooler. I'm just plain, boring me... There's nothing exciting or special about me. No cool personality, no cool talents. Jaime's got a cool personality, Jamie's got cool talents.
Sigh... I'm always acting like this. Always putting myself down. Like I'm nothing. Treating myself like a piece of shit. That's just how I think though. Putting myself down all the time. There needs to be an off switch to this...
You know I didn't always treat myself so bad. There actually was a time when I WAS happy instead of pretending to be. Wearing a REAL smile instead of putting on a fake one so nobody worries about me. Ya know, when I was younger, like really young. Wish those days were back...
It's been like this ever since I started middle school. That's when the bullying started. That kind of messes you up you know? Being mentally tortured like that changes a kid. It wasn't like they bullied me every now and then. This was almost every day. The days I wasn't being tortured, I was living in fear of being bullied. The days they weren't picking on me, I was bullying myself. It's my own fault I guess... Gave them enough reasons. Guess I was asking for it...
How could a bully pass up the chance of picking on a boy like me? I'm a prime target for bullies. The kids saw that what they would do and say got to me. They smelled the fear and weakness. So they picked on me for being too sensitive. I have red hair so they picked on me for that. Don't even know why, I guess red hair isn't cool. I was far from fat, but I wasn't as skinny as all the kids. Jaime helped me lose weight and work on my body after I asked him.
Yeah, there were a few reasons for them to target me. They would call me names like homo and faggot. All through middle school. It didn't just stop, it followed me into my first year of high school. Guess I'm gonna have to put up with this until I leave school... They call me those names without knowing I'm actually a homo and a faggot. I don't wanna know what they'd do if they knew... Some days I just go to the bathroom at school so I can hide in one of the stalls and cry my eyes out. Shit I'm gonna cry now... No not now... Please, not in front of him...
"Aaron tell me what's wrong already. You've been like this since the walk home. I'm not stupid. You're rubbing those scars on your wrists. You're not thinking about that shit are you?" He sounded concerned.
Crap I'm so careless. "No, everything's fine. I'm thinking, not about that, but I'm just thinking." I wiped the tears from my eyes.
"Yes you are. Don't give me that shit. Ugh dude... Come here." He pulled me against him, even though I was fighting it, and just sort of held me. Wrapping his arm around me to try and comfort me.
"I'm SO sorry Jaime." I apologized and buried my face in his shirt to try and hide my crying. There was no hiding the tears now though. I'm pretty sure he can tell I'm crying.
"What the hell are you sorry for? Here, let's just sit here and watch some tv ok? Just calm down." He rubbed my arm, and put his feet up on his coffee table and turned on the tv.
Why can't I keep myself together? Especially in front of Jamie? Sigh... I'm sorry Jamie... I hate crying in front of people. Never been one to show people my emotions. Don't like coming off as weak. Got enough working against me.
Is he ok sitting here like this? I don't wanna make him uncomfortable just because I'm being a little baby. We sit like this a lot, but, I don't know. It was different when we were younger. Now we have to worry about it being wrong and gay. Now we have to worry about everything and make sure we act just right. Just as society wants us to be. You know it's really tiring thinking like this all the time...
Having anyone hold me like this right now is comforting. Having Jamie hold me like this right now means so much to me. He's always been like this. Turning my frown into a smile. He's truly my BEST friend. I don't know what I'd do without him. He makes me feel like I'm not as big a piece of shit as people make me feel. Maybe I do mean something to some people. Maybe I'm being stupid when I think I'm worthless.
My phone started vibrating so I checked who it was. 'Hey hunny I just got home from work.'
'Ok mom. I'm at Jaime's. Gonna spend the night.'
'Alright. Love you.'
What should I do with my hands while he's holding me? Would he mind if I just sort of, hug him? Would it be too gay with us sitting on a sofa holding each other? I don't wanna make this awkward... What if anyone walks in? Don't really want this feeling to end right now. It's just really comforting. My crying's starting to stop. I'll just go for it.
When I wrapped my arm around his stomach he spoke. "Starting to feel better yet?"
"Uh...yeah." I sniffled. "T-thanks..."
"Good. You worry me sometimes Aaron. And I don't wanna see any fresh ones." He lightly rubbed my scarred wrist and sent shivers through my body.
Ok I'm REALLY self conscious about the scars on my wrists. I know it's my fault they're there, but still. Don't want anyone looking at them. I always try to hide them, but it's pretty much impossible when it's hot out. Can't wear long sleeve shirts forever. So they're pretty much on display for the world when the weather's nice. I always feel like people are gonna stare at them and judge me. People judge me enough... Haven't done it in a while, but cutting was just my way of letting out the pain from all the mental and sometimes physical torture I was put through in school.
I got all defensive and pulled my arm away from him, moving to the other side of the sofa. "You won't... Just don't look at them..." My face felt sooo warm. I guess I was blushing.
The rest of the day went alright. Jaime tried not to do anything that would push me, which I was thankful for. I tried apologizing for my little breakdown but he didn't wanna hear it. He said it was fine and I shouldn't worry so much.
We spent the rest of the day playing video games. Jaime kicked my ass in almost every game we played. Today just wasn't my day. Usually we're pretty evenly matched when we play, but my mind was occupied. I wasn't thinking about the game.
"Boys pizza is here!" Jaime's mom, Chelsea, yelled up the stairs.
She didn't have to tell us twice. The only word we heard was pizza. We ran down the stairs looking for our pie. Neither one of us really wanted to stick around long and talk. We stuck around just long enough to say hi to Jaime's parents and older brother Nick before running back upstairs with our pizza and soda.
Sleepovers are probably like the most unhealthy thing on the planet. All you do is bum around with your friends and eat food. How we don't end up fat is beyond me. Guess kids just naturally have good, what are those things called? Metabolisms? You would think we're never fed the way we eat. I don't know what it is, but us teenagers can really put away the food.
It wasn't long before the pizza and soda was gone and we got bored. Jaime was bent over looking through his movie collection. Of course I was trying to stare at his ass without him catching me. He asked what kind of movie we should watch, but I was lost staring at his ass. All that came out was a sure. He didn't think anything of it and just thought I wasn't paying attention to him, which I wasn't, and stuck a movie in his game system. He turned off the lights and gave me a sly grin when he sat back down next to me.
Now Jamie damn well knows I don't like horror movies. They scare the crap out of me. Then for days after I watch them I think I'm gonna be killed or eaten by something that isn't there. I can't even watch them alone without pussying out and turning it off soon after it starts. Forget about watching them with the lights off! But that is exactly the kind of movie he put in. And he turned the lights off to make it more scary for me. Ugh Jaime I hate you! Are you trying to kill me?
The movie started out so nice. There was this nice family and their nice home. Then the creepy shit started, and pretty quick. It started with a break in. The family came home to find their home trashed. Nothing was stolen, which was weird. The house was just a big mess. After that they set up security cameras around the entire house. Turns out the house is haunted by some demon thing.
As the movie went on I tried to hide the fact that I was terrified and could piss my pants at any second. It's so creepy! How can he be sitting over there enjoying himself? I don't get people who like watching scary movies and like getting scared. It's not fun to me.
Near the end the demon drug the mom into the basement and I basically screamed and clung onto Jaime. "S-sorry..."
"It's fine." He just smiled and let me cling to his arm.
For the rest of the movie that's where I stayed. Holding onto him for safety. Weirdly it worked, sort of, I wasn't AS scared when I knew Jaime was right there to protect me. Even though it was a movie and nothing was gonna get me. I know I was holding him a little too tight during some parts, but he never said anything about it.
"You gonna be okay sitting here alone while I go get a shower? You won't be afraid of any demons getting you will you? Haha."
"Shut up and go get your damn shower." I kicked him in is leg as he walked out of his room. Figured I had some time to kill while he was in the shower, so I picked up my journal.
Can't believe I broke down in front of Jaime. I hate showing my emotions to people. At least he didn't care. He's always there for me if I'm upset. He's like the only friend I'm sort of ok with letting see me like that. I don't even show my emotions in front of my parents.
Ugh my hormones are raging lately... I keep getting boners. Hope Jamie hasn't noticed that I get hard when I'm around him... I'd die just from the embarrassment. It didn't help being so close to him today. Just any sort of touch from him is enough to make me hard today. He even sent shivers through my body.
Why does he have to be so hot anyway? Why do I have to be attracted to my best friend? I'd have more confidence being attracted to someone if it wasn't him. Ha. Yeah right... I'm a wimp... Still, it makes everything worse since it's him I'm attracted to. I don't wanna fuck anything up...
Jamie takes really quick showers. Don't know how he does it. When I heard footsteps coming I quickly shut my journal. It wasn't that he'd see me writing in it, I just didn't wanna give him the chance to see what I was writing about. Especially since I was just writing about him giving me boners.
Dear God help me! He walked into the room still a little wet, wearing only a towel around his waist. Ngh... He looks so hot! Jaime don't you know what you do to me? You're driving me insane! I really wish he would've gotten dressed in the bathroom. How am I NOT gonna stare at that?
I guess he doesn't feel awkward being naked in front of me. Growing up together we've dressed in front of each other and seen each other naked, but that ended two years ago. It's been two years since we at least seen each other naked. We'll get dressed and change together, but we always have at least underwear on. He wore clothes when he left for his shower, he should have just put those back on, or at least the underwear. That's what I would have done...
Oh my God! Did Jamie really just drop his towel? Am I REALLY staring at Jamie's bare ass?! Holy fuck! Look at it. It looks so firm and perfect. He slid on some tight boxer briefs that hugged him perfectly. I bit my lip, and bit it HARD. So hard that I let out a cry and Jaime turned around.
"Like what you see?" He smirked.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! "Sh-sh-shut up." I couldn't even speak. My face was burning. I feel like I could cry.
"You alright dude?"
"I'm uh...can I get a shower?"
"You know you don't have to ask Aaron. Just go get one. I think you could use one, you don't look so good."
Crap! Like, fuck me! Jamie caught me staring at his ass AND biting my lip... Whyyyyy! Just so much is going through my head right now. Did he actually catch me or was he messing around? Does he he think I'm a fag now? Does he hate me? What am I gonna do?
I stood under the water and pounded my fist against the shower wall. The water washed away my tears. I just sank down to my knees and sat there trying to calm down. Maybe I'm just overreacting and everything will be ok. The water pouring down on me felt so nice. I calmed down after two or three minutes. Deep breaths Aaron. Deep breaths.
After I calmed down I started thinking about Jamie again. I closed my eyes and replayed what happened back in the room. Crap I'm getting hard again. At least no one can see. There's no way my dick's gonna go down this time. That image is just perfect. I seen the ass of the boy I desire most.
My hand grabbed my throbbing dick without even thinking about it. Giving it a few quick squeezes which sent jolts of pleasure through my body. Then I started stroking, thinking about what I just saw. To tell you the truth I jerked off to Jamie before, but that was all to stuff made up in my head. I saw his real ass today. No more jerking off to made up pictures.
Wasn't long before I had to cum. After like two minutes of thinking about my best friend, little moans were escaping my lips. I picked up the pace and gave a few final strokes before shooting my load onto the floor. Oh my God... That was amazing. It left me panting on the floor of my my best friend's shower.
Oh my God! What am I doing? I just jerked off in Jaime's shower. In Jaime's bathroom. In Jaime's house. I never jerked off in anyone's house before. Always felt weird doing it anywhere but my house. And here I am, panting in Jaime's shower, watching my stuff go down the drain.
Crap how long was I in here? It couldn't have been long right? Turning off the shower I dried off. Making sure to get FULLY dressed before heading back to the room unlike Jaime! Not that I mind seeing him like that. I'm just not that brave enough to walk in wearing only a towel.
"You all good? Jaime asked.
I rubbed the back of my head. "Yeah."
"You've been acting weird today man. Weirder than your usual awkward self."
"Gee thanks." I glared at him.
"Haha you know I just mess with you bro. You know I love you. Even if you are awkward."
"I'm not awkward!" I yelled.
"Heh. Maybe a little." He held his fingers close together to make his point.
Ok so maybe I can be a little awkward sometimes. But there's nothing wrong with that right? Being a little awkward? Isn't it cute? I know Jaime said he likes a little awkwardness. Not that he'd be attracted to me... I'm a boy...
We were pretty tired by now. It's pretty late. So we just decided we'd get some sleep. This was the part of the night I wasn't looking forward to. Especially with how today went. Still we crawled in to bed together, wearing only our underwear...
Jaime's bed is actually pretty cool. It's this bunk bed type thing, but there's only a top half, with stairs that go up to the bed. Under the bed is a desk where he keeps his laptop. It's a double bed, so there was room between us, but we were still pretty close. Maybe it'll be ok since I jerked off a little bit ago. Hope so anyway...
In the middle of the night I had to pee. For some reason I couldn't get up. When my eyes adjusted to the dark Jaime's arm was draped over my bare chest. When did this happen? Ugh I don't have time to think now, I gotta pee. Picking up his arm he rolled over onto his back, giving me a chance to sneak out of the bed.
Ugh bathroom lights are so bright, they made me flinch. Should have just went to the bathroom in the dark. It felt so good to pee after drinking all that soda. I was falling asleep standing in front of the toilet haha. That always happens when using the bathroom at night right?
Trying to crawl back into bed I stubbed my toe. "Fuck!" So glad I didn't wake up Jaime. That kid could sleep through anything.
Ugh. He looks so peaceful just laying there sleeping. Wish he was mine so I could just kiss him or say I love you...out loud. I gotta stop this. It's gonna start getting in the way of our friendship. Jaime's my friend. My best friend. That's all he'll ever be...
Authors Note: There's chapter 2; ribbed for your pleasure. Haha what?! I'm SO SO SO sorry I didn't post the second chapter last month!! I spent some weeks at my mom's to work on our relationship [we don't have a great one...], and she doesn't have internet in her house. Then some things happened...and I got really depressed... Didn't have the will to write, let alone do anything. So I took a break for a bit. I'll find a way to make it up to you guys! Sorry the story's starting out slow. It'll start picking up really quick. Let me know what you think. Was glad I got some emails from a few of you. Like to hear from readers and what they think. Suggestions are welcome too! I promise that every chapter won't take forever to post! writer_noaah@hotmail.com