Part 3: The confession

I cried so hard that I lost all my energy and felt asleep. When I woke up, the sky had already turned dark with several stars and dim moonlight. I went downstairs and found a message note.

"Jimmy honey! The kid and we will have dinner in the town and watch some movies afterward. Take care yourself and we will be home about 11:00. Mum"

Great! Nobody realized that I was missing the whole day and I was left alone in the house with no food. That surely was the best way to enjoy my summer trip. I squeezed the note, threw it into the trashcan and searching something to eat. The afternoon crying surly wasted lots of my energy. My eating habit was different from the usual teens. Sweet such as cake, candy, chocolate bars, ice cream were all my favorites. As I was skinny, I didn't bother to watch my diet and I could eat as much sweet things as I like. Unfortunately, there's only potato, raw fish and beef in the fridge. When I was searching the fridge, I heard someone came back home. It may be mum. I happily run to the front door, wishing mum would bring me something sweet to eat. I was very disappointed to see Dan standing there, taking off his shoes. He greeted me but I didn't reply, indeed I went back to the kitchen. Dan immediately put his shoes aside and followed me, he's explaining why he didn't go to town with our parents. Be honest, I had zero interest to know, it may due to my lack of energy or simply I was still mad.

I heard Dan took out some mugs from the cupboard. Then he asked, "How are you feeling?" I could hear uncertainty in his voice.

I casually said, "feeling fine." Meanwhile, a fresh feeling washed through me, I could use my usual voice and tone to speak with him, I did it. Yes I did it. Dan took a deep breath and said "Look Jim, about this afternoon, I didn't mean to upset you. May be you felt like I was fooling you but I swear I didn't mean to. I truly want to be your friend." Even though I turned my back on him, I could sense he's sincere and sorry and my heart melted a bit. Then he patted my shoulder gently, I turned around and saw him gave me a mug of hot chocolate. I wasn't sure should I take it but he grasped my hand and ordered, "Take it!" I obeyed.

Then Dan carried a big bag from the rest room and showed me what he bought. He got me chocolate bars, bubble gum, candy, soft drinks, ice cream and a box wrapped with a red ribbon. He asked me to open it. Guess what! This was the moment my heart melted. He bought me a strawberry cake with words "Please forgive me." May be its his sincerity or was the smell of hot chocolate, I surrender. I gave him a big grin from ear to ear and then we started eating all the food.

I started from the chocolate bar, candy and then ice cream. I recognized that Dan didn't join me eating. He just sat there watching me. I offered him the chocolate bar; he hesitated and told me he had dinner already and still full. The truth was I saw him frowned a bit and absolutely sure that he didn't like sweet as I did. It's okay! His excuse was acceptable, his attitude was a lot better and I got to show him that its not good forcing one to did something they didn't like.

Dan told me quite a lot of his life, family, hobbies and habits. For example, he told me that Tommy was accidentally came to the world and he didn't like a baby brother but time passes, he found Tommy was part of his life which could not be separated. He talked about how embarrassing as a 15 years old, tall, big boy and how was he teased by his classmates. I was shocked to know that as I thought people only took advantages from a small boy like me. Also, I found we were intellectual connected. You may be confused but we did think the same, feel the same. Though I was not as aggressive as Dan, I somehow understood why he acted in that way. I was so into the conversation that I didn't recognize time flied. Its 11:00, our parents arrived home on time and very much against my wish that it was the end of our conversation.

Uncle Rich and dad were excited to talk about the movie that they kept the conversation on until 3 am. Aunt Mary and mum were busy on their women skincare stuff. Tommy was asleep. I proposed to continue the previous conversation with Dan but before I spoke, I saw him yawned and I decided to keep my mouth shut.

About ten minutes later, Dan gave me an astonishing suggestion. "Hey Jim! Why dun we take a shower?" Before I could react, once again he grasped my arm and led me back to our bedroom. He led me into the bathroom and locked the door behind. I heard water running down into the bathtub, then I heard him unzipped his jeans and softly said, "I smell awful!" I stood still in the bathroom, not dare to move an inch, not dare to open my eyes. I pictured what Dan did using my ears; I was afraid that he would ask me strip and joined him. I was trying hard to make an excuse. I was shivering.

Then I heard Dan calling my name.

"Jim? Why don't you sit down and we can continue our conversation."

What! I couldn't believe my ears. That's what he wanted? I slowly opened my left eye, then my right one; I turned around and blinked. Dan was already in the bathtub with bubble covering his lower body. Now I could relax, I sat on the floor and we started to talk.

This time Dan asked me many questions, I told him what books I like, What do I do for fun and the conversation goes on from movie stars, hobbies, school life, family to APPEARANCE. Dan splashed some water on his face, cleared his throat, scratch his head, took a deep breath, then he asked, "Jim! I can feel that you are not comfortable with me. Did I do something offend you?" I was surprised that he noticed my discomfort which I though I hid very well meanwhile I was stunned as I didn't know how to answer his question. Both of us remained silent. Dan stared at me; he looked determined and wouldn't quit until he got my answer. I squeezed my hands, struggling to tell him the truth or not. Few minutes passed, I heard myself uttered,

"I don't look good."

"Huh"!" he was obviously puzzled.

"I am short and skinny." I said and then bit my lower lip.

"Oh!..." he hesitated, "so?"

"So I really didn't want to meet a tall, swim-build guy like you. So I hid from you. So I won't need to see you staring me with disrespect, accusing and laughing me being short and slim. So r u satisfied?" I was raged and I start sobbing...again....twice in a day.

Dan immediately reached me, stroke my back gently and said, "It's alright! Don't cry!"... "Baby! Please don't cry...Take a breath!..Okay! Follow me! Inhale...Exhale...Inhale...Exhale...." , "Feeling better now?"

I nodded.

He kissed my hair and uttered my name,

"Jim! I don't know what made you think that I didn't like you or disrespect you just because you are slim and short. Well...obviously you are not a big guy like me but you are a nice guy. We've known each other since we were babies and I can never take my eyes off you. I love to observe you, I love all your habits. Do you know that you make a little cat sound when you are happy, your finger tips pat your lips when your are excited, you squeeze you hands when you are nervous and you blush crimson when you are embarrassed. In my eyes you are the most adorable person in the world and guess what!" He hesitated.

"What?!" I asked rudely, his conversation drove me up and down and I could no longer stand the feelings. His words drove me insane.

He smiled a little, leaned his head against mine and whispered. "I guess I love you."

Knowing the truth was too much for me, my body almost collapsed. Luckily Dan was holding my elbows. God! He loved me. Dan the handsome, tall, nice guy LOVED me. I was stunned, then lost, then happy, then excited. I was too shy to tell him "I love you" but if I didn't give him any feedback, he might misunderstand. I was lost in my thought and suddenly a big hand cupped my chin. Dan drew me closer and kissed me on my lips. My first instinct was to protest but my eyes met his, I saw twinkle, my whole body shivered. A minute or so, I was warmed by his warm lips, drunk into his boy scent.

Part 4: An amazing solution

Next morning, when I woke up, I was lying on my own bed. I didn't quite remember the night but the three words "I love you" dangling in my head. They were the most beautiful words I had ever heard of, I couldn't believe that Dan loved me. God if this is a dream, please dun wake me up. When I was saying my prayer, someone yawned. Yes someone calls Dan yawned. Yes MY Dan Yawned. I turned to face him. He blinked, still not fully awoke, scratched his head and turned. Now he saw me. I was anxiously searching his face, scaring that he didn't mean what he said last night. He must sense my worry, so he showed me a big grin, quietly left his bed and moved to mine. He whispered, "Good morning, sunshine!" I was so happy that my heart nearly jumped out, I wanted to say something in return but first I took my quilt to cover my mouth and then I said, "Morning handsome!"

Dan was not happy about what I did, he half joking, half seriously said, "Don't you let me take a look of you and kiss your juicy lips." He tried to pull my quilt down.

"No Dan" I protested.

"Why? Are you hiding something?"

"No, I'm not."

"Then put away your quilt and show me your sweet face now." Dan's tone was firm again.

Realizing I might upset him. I told him the truth. "It's morning breath. I don't want to ruin our kiss."

Dan looked disbelieve, then he laughed. He laughed quite hard that tears run on his cheeks. After a while, he finally managed to say, "You adorable cute thing, everyone gets morning breath. I still very much want to kiss you."

"NO" I gave him a simply, clear reply. I was a bit upset that he didn't understand my intention to make all the things we do perfect.

"No?" he looked disappointed.

I was worried. May be I shouldn't be stubborn and gave him a light kiss.

Suddenly, Dan winked and said, "Ok! You made your choice and now you are going to pay." Then I felt Dan's hand slid inside my quilt, pushing up my t-shirt. He was now touching my belly. His fingertips were making circles on my belly. It felt so warm having his big hand on my belly, his fingertips made me felt itchy meanwhile sending electricity to my stomach. I am experiencing something I had never experienced. Dan's touch was awesome. The sensation drove me crazy. I eagerly wanted to moan but Not wanting someone to hear, I bit my lower lips instead. Dan was challenging my limits, I was scared, I tired to grasp him hand, stop his movement but I failed.

"Dan... stop" I panted.

He didn't answer and he didn't stop for sure. In fact, his hands now moved upward, touching and massaging my ribs.

"Ah... stop, please... stop" I bit my lower lips hard and tossed my head. The sensation made me forgot why I got the fabulous "punishment" and I unconsciously let the quilt go. My left hand was now squeezing the mattress and the other was helplessly holding Dan's arm.

I thought it was the most intense moment I had even have but what Dan did next took me to another horizon. I saw him threw away the quilt, lower his head and he was licking my belly button. My whole body became rigid. When he started licking, I couldn't help squirm.

I was lost, one second I was yelling no, the next I was yelling yes. I couldn't hold anymore and I whispered, "Jim! I can't take it anymore"

This time luckily he heard me, he lifted his head and kissed me, at the same time, his left hand was still massaging my belly and ribs while his right hand rubbed my erection. His touch took me to the point of no return and I shouted "DAN!". I shut my eyes, arched my back, and I cum inside my shorts. It took me few minutes to collect my thoughts, when I opened my eyes, Dan was sitting next to me, smiling and staring my crotch. I found a BIG wet spot on my shorts and again I blushed.

Dan let me take shower first and I took all the clothes but my sport shoes in the bathroom. Not saying I didn't trust him, its just I was not ready to share all my privacy with him, especially not ready to show him my skinny body. Once I was taking shower, I lost myself in my own thoughts. I wouldn't deny that the first sexual experience (or the body touch) with Dan was awesome, I enjoyed it a lot; at the same time, I blamed myself of my shyness. Why couldn't I return the favor? Why couldn't I tell him I love him? or the truth was I DIDN"T love him... Nonsense! Of course I love him, he's gorgeous and nice. He's the prince charming... Wait! He's not just a body...Okay! Let me rephrase it. He's good looking, he's nice, I enjoyed his personality and I am very much fond of him. Its not love yet, just very... much... fond...of... him.

Talking about love, mum always told me not to say, "I love you" until I really loved someone. The idea was from my grandparents, I heard that they lived together for sixty years, my grandpa never missed saying "I love you" to my grandma, not even a single day. It was not because he wanted to do so, he was forced to do so. Grandpa said if he didn't say, "I love you", grandma would stop speaking to him for a week. At first, he said the three words from the bottom of his hearts, however, feeling faded away from time to time and he ended up saying the three words like "Bon appetite". I was shocked to know the secret of the loving couple. Wasn't it sad that feeling became daily routine. After that I decided to save these words until I found my destined one cause I recognized that its important to mean what I say.

Once I finished dressing, I went down to have breakfast; things went on very much the same-- casual family chatting. Few minutes later, Dan joined us. Usually, seats next to me would be occupied by Tommy and my mum. This time had no exception and Dan took the seat opposite. Honestly, I was not much into the adult conversation; I only focused on my food and peeped my dear Dan occasionally.

Just at the exact moment I got my first glance, Dad announced,

"Boys, we will go swimming today. Make sure you bring your water toys and sun block; nobody wants to be toasted."

Oooo! My jaw dropped, after last night confession and the morning incident, I totally forgot why we were here?!....to swim... to swim meant be topless...to be topless meant exposed my body. This was absolutely my nightmare. Okay Jim! Functioned your brain, thought a reasonable lie, rescued yourself... Right! What about I forgot to bring my swimming suit? Good and mum would scold you. What about I don't have a mood to swim? Good, I don't know guys have period. Then I heard Tommy coughed. Yes, illness...I was too ill to swim. Here's my plan, I finished all the food here and before we headed to the beach, I would be suffer from stomachache. Excellent!

When I was secretly praising myself for coming up such a good idea, someone brushed my ankle. Oh no!!!... It's him... I looked up and saw my Dan was smiling and winked. He seemed looking forward to the swim. Now I was in dilemma. If I go, I will end up embarrassing myself though I could accompany him. If I don't go, I will disappointed him but save myself from embarrassment. Then I felt a hand gently squeeze my shoulder, its Dan. He indicated me to follow him to our bedroom. I instantly excused myself and left the seat. Once I entered, Dan locked the door, drew me into a tight embrace, then he kissed me. He started from my lips, gently; my cheek, still gently; my left ear, a bit itchy; then my nape. It felt so good having his juicy, warm lips on my skin. Dan kept kissing, nibbling and sucking my nape, I felt good that I moan softly. I was totally relaxed in his arms. Unexpectedly Dan tightened his embrace, he sucked my nick hard like a starving baby. "Ow.." I yelped. He bit me. I unconsciously pulled him away and he laughed. I had no idea why he laughed but seeing him laughed so hard, I laughed too.

"What'd you do that for?" I quested with a smile.

"To mark you mine." He answered.

"What?!" , I run to the mirror and the reflection showed me that there was a reddish mark on my neck. My face immediately turned crimson, I was glad to be marked though, especially he was the one who marked on me. Then I remembered the swim.

"Shit!" I uttered.

I saw Dan's grin faded. He stepped forward and said," Look! Jimmy, I am sorr..."

"No Dan! The swim. We are going to swim. How am I supposed to hide the mark.?"

Knowing that I was not mad, he exhaled and said, "Then don't"

I frowned, obviously not happy with his answer.

"Okay! What about wearing a t-shirt. Choose a white one. Have you brought your quicksilver t-shirt with palm tress pattern?" He asked.

I was amazed that he remembered such a small detail of me and I happily took his suggestion. I took the t-shirt, other stuff and went changing my clothes in the bathroom. Once I entered the bathroom, I locked the door, used a towel to cover my mouth and LAUGH. I couldn't believe how lucky I was. Things went perfect. Thank God for helping me to solve the problem. Thank God for the reddish mark. Thank God that Dan was naughty.

" Jim, Are you ready?" Dan asked a moment later.

"Just a minute." I quickly changed and left the bathroom. Jim was sitting on my bed, waiting. He was wearing shorts and vest, showing me his board shoulder and smooth skin. In front of me was a beautiful picture. I was drunk with my gaze and there was a silly smile on my face. Dan must figure out I was enjoying what I saw, he didn't pat my shoulder and woke me up. Instead, he gently held my fingers and led me downstairs.

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This is the first story I write and hopefully you still find it interesting to keep reading. Please excuse me if you find my language and expression do not go naturally as English is not my mother tongue. I am trying hard to improve it.

Thank you for sending me email. It's a big encouragement, as I know my story gets readers. It's blissful to receive feedback. =)

Criticism, comments, suggestion are welcome. Please send to _lapis @ excite.com

Plus a title: From love to hate.

Cheers,

Steve