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Now looking back on that time, I realize that without football in my life 5 nights a week I was going crazy. I would even have gone to the gym but with casts and too many broken bones that really wasn't in the cards either. I just went to school and went home. Neil and Tim became my refuge and I started spending more time with them than I had since grade 9. I guess I haven't mentioned them much, or at all really. Still, they have been my friends since early grade 9, they just don't really have much to do with this story, much like the time Jon spent with his best friend Michael. I will say though that Michael on the other hand became lame-ass to me because I didn't play football anymore, and he therefore didn't have the time for me. He also bought into the whole gay rumors drama and called mea fag behind my back I had heard. I mean sure, sometimes I got tired of playing playstation with Neil, or listening to Tim's messed up theories on pretty much everything in the universe, but they showed me that they were real friends. Tim just winked at me with a sure- sure smile on his face when I said I wasn't gay, while Neil took me for my word and seemed totally ambivalent as to what the big deal about other people's sexuality was all about anyway. Basically they were not superficial asses like Michael.
Now for those wondering, the third and last time that Jon and I had sex was on New Year's Day 2000. It was sometime fairly early in the morning, Mom and Arnie hadn't made it home from wherever it was that they were. They had grabbed a hotel somewhere after getting to drunk. I didn't know at the time that that was the night that they became an item. Instead, oblivious to the obvious budding relationship I was intent on my own. Their absence that morning afforded Jon and I our last time of unchecked passion together. Jon and I were at his house and had fallen asleep on the couch waiting to ring in the New Year. Charlene, Jon's Mom woke us in time for the celebration and then we were shortly on our way back to my place. Back at my place we made out for a bit and then went to bed. I woke that morning with Jon in my bed, lovingly caressing me. After ascertaining that we were alone we threw caution to the wind as much as we dared. We made out as we had earlier, and did a little oral on each other which got us both excited. Unaware of the euphoria of things like necking we were still quite mechanical. Eventually Jon was in me, loving me and we welcomed in the new millennium that morning with our own fireworks.
From that point on life got very quiet, very routine for a while. On the Friday just after Valentine's Day Tania threw another party because her parents were again away on business somewhere in Mexico. This was the first party that I invited Neil and Tim to come with Michael, Jon and I. You see, because my friends belonged to two different social groups normally I would go with either Neil and Tim, or with Michael and Jon. This was more of the jock' crowd party than the snob' party. Neil and Tim got grouped as snobs basically because they have whole families and live in somewhat nice houses in the richer area of our school's district unlike the most of us. It's not like we were in gangs, but still, among lower class neighborhoods there was a division between the lucky ones and the rest of us. Neil and Tim were just normal guys from working class families really, and Tania was cool with them coming because although Neil never really came to parties often she wanted him there because she had the hots baseball players mostly, but made an exception for him. I'd swear she drooled over him in fact. So where I normally would have gone just with Jon and Michael, or just with Jon, or even by myself, I invited Tim and Neil to come with us. This pissed Michael off bad because he liked Tania and I think the only reason I personally was any use to him anymore was because I was one of her few guy friends and thereby his link to her. Michael was so rude to Neil and Tim, and he tried to pick a fight with Neil, but Tim being bigger stepped in for Neil. I never really thought of Tim as tough. He was just Tim to me. By looks he's your stereotypical Abercombie and Fitch model, and by nature he's the most sedate, mellow, easy going guy I've ever known. Being a baseball player but with good looks and a body that showed that he worked out I guess I misjudged him, yet still I was blown away that he kicked Michael's ass! It was pretty quick; Tim only took a single punch to the face as he got a couple in on Michael's, kicked in his knee ant then kneed Michael in the face.
Afterward Michael left and then came back with a bat. It was so silly, so out of a movie. What was funnier was that he came after me with the bat.
"You little faggot! You used to be my best friend, and now you take my best friend from me because you want to get at me? You want to suck his dick so bad that it shows, and you bring your faggot friends to this party to insult me because Tania likes one of them? Look at him, he's a shot hairy mutt, and a fag just like you. She likes a fag when she can have me. And you; you're a worthless piece of shit who sucks so bad that Coach even dumped you from the team finally. Hopefully you suck dick as good as you suck at life!"
And with that he came at me with the bat. I managed to avoid his swing, but I cracked my head against the doorway as I was trying to run past him out of the room I was cornered in. Just like that I was knocked out from my own doing while trying to avoid getting beaten with a bat, but I heard that was the only swing Michael got at me before Train was on him and punched his face in. Almost literally too, Train broke Michael's cheek bone. When I came around there were police and ambulance people all over the place. I heard that it only took one punch in the face from Train and Michael was knocked out too! A lot of us got questioned by the police, and Michael and Train and Tim got taken to the cop shop. I never found out if anyone pressed charges or anything though. I got a trip to the hospital, with my second concussion, ironically along with Michael before he got taken to the police station. When Arnie got to the hospital to pick me up he had a good sized piece of metal sticking out of his back pocket and some of his buds with him. He was on a first name basis with the cop and got me in exchange for his pipe or whatever he had. He flashed a blade and threatened Michael's dad that he would fuck with him soon, but I gather he never did. Instead I hear he had his old friend, Coach Maynes, give Michael a real hard go of it at practices and not play him in games until he quit.
The night of the Valentine's fight, Arnie got his buds to round up Jon and Neil and bring them over to our place so that he could find out what the hell was going on. After the guys all left and it was just the four of us Arnie got pretty blunt. In front of Jon and Neil he called me a faggot and told me not to be mad at Michael for coming after me but instead thank him that I learned a good lesson about what happens to fags. He told me that mom and him had talked to his and dad's oldest brother Jimmy who lives in St. Louis. They'd talked before about getting me somewhere where I didn't have to try so hard to be what I'm not. He figured I best say goodbye to my friends now as I was surely going to be moving to Missouri, and then promptly told Neil and Jon to get going.
That was it, there was no room for discussion. The fight was on a Friday night, and come Sunday night I was a resident of St. Louis, Misery, USA. I had less than 24 hours to pack my life before it got loaded into the bed of Arnie's Ford 4x4 and I was on my way. I never got a chance to say goodbye to anyone, let alone spend a moment with Jon. Yes I had a concussion, but it still would have been a whirlwind blur anyhow, it all happened so abruptly.
When I got to St. Louis, Jimmy was nothing like I expected. He is unlike Dad, Arnie and Sonny. He's from a completely better stock than his brothers. Jimmy doesn't even like to be called Jimmy. He professionally goes by James, and has an amazing house, wife, 3 kids I never knew, and is clean cut. He has a professional looking, short, neatly cropped businessman haircut. He is a chiropractor and is respected in his community for his positions on the city council, Ronald McDonald House Charity Board, and Big Brother's council as well as his numerous community involvements. This is unlike anything I had really known growing up, because I always saw respect given to the guys that you didn't want to mess with physically or financially. Of course I hated it immediately. What the hell, I used to live by my own rules and did quite well I thought, and all of a sudden I got some structured, sappy family environment I've never known forced down my throat? Writing this was about the only productive thing I accomplished living there.
Flash forward to today. (Skip to the end notes if you want to carry on to reading my new story with continuity.)
Well lets just say that Uncle Jim didn't suffer fools lightly. After a couple months of my acting out and being an all around little shit he forced me into the Air Cadets. Not having any direction or discipline in my life started loosing its hold on me and I excelled in the structured environment. On my 18th birthday I Joined the Armed Forces. My stature limited me in some ways, but eventually I got my wings and served over seas flying supply aircrafts. After my honorable discharge I took 6 months to travel the world and find myself, loosely modeling it after the movie The Beach. My adventures were quite sedate and different however. Returning home I wasn't sure at first where I fit back in into society. I was more or less homeless until Uncle Jim extended the offer to me of a home and to help get me on my feet again. Jim hasn't talked with any of his brothers since I got pawned onto him over four years ago.
Banking on my experience in the service, I landed a job piloting for a national currier, based out of Memphis. A few months ago I used some days off to visit Houston for the first time. I didn't stop by Arnie's shop, Sonny's restaurant, or Mom and Arnie's. Instead I went to Charlene's (Jon's mother) house and got caught up on her, Jon, and his sisters. Deanna is married with two kids and is a secretary at a grade school in Austin. Lacey lives in New York with her boyfriend and is a dental assistant. After working on a cruise ship for a year Candace is in her second year at Texas A & M. Charlene herself is nearing retirement and is finally for the first time financially secure as she re-married to Coach Maynes. She only works one job now, as Front End Manager (head cashier) at the grocery store, and dropped her other job at the liquor store. I guess Coach always had a soft spot for Jon and I, and that's how he and Charlene got together. They renovated and live in Jon's old house and Coach rents his out to students that have problem homes. He's actually become a School Board Director and is working with the board to develop an official housing program for troubled teens. Bandit's looking great. I hear Rocky got hit by a car. Train turned pro and went to a few camps but never made it. He's now a shop assistant at my old school, Parkwood, while in teacher's college, and a junior coach for the football team. Michael works for fast food restaurant, still waiting for his life to take off. Neil and Tania got married and had two daughters before separating, only to get together again. They live in San Antonio now. No word on Tim nowadays but I hear he was a good friend for Jon after I left. I don't know what happened to Todd either. He's not in the phonebook, and Coach Maynes never talks to Arnie. Heather, Todd's mother, died of cancer. As for my mom and Arnie, they're also married now. I never got invited, or even knew until that visit. Coach never went to their wedding because he and Heather and Arnie were all good friends since childhood and Coach got mad at Arnie that he never visited Heather on her deathbed or even went to her funeral. It's sad, thinking back I respected Heather a lot when she was in the picture. She named Todd and I. Not me literally, but marrying into the family she made sure that her son and I didn't get the usual family touch on our names, always calling me Daniel rather than Danny until it stuck. I never thought of it, but for the time she was around she gave me a sense of self worth.
I guess my dad should be out of the slammer now too. I don't care though. I almost hope he got raped daily by a big guy named Butch or something. That would be irony. If I ever see him again it will be purely by his efforts or chance. I've had to deal with my demons, and became more than he could have let me be.
As for Jon, Coach and Charlene say he silently pined away for me for a while. He moped around for a while after I left and finally came out to her and his sisters after he went away to college. He never dated through high school that she knows of. Instead he put all his energy into getting his grades and an opportunity to have his pick of schools. He eventually chose the University of British Columbia Vancouver, Canada. He did get over me though. For my part I still carry a flame for him. I could have written. I could have called. I should have written. I should have called. Instead I left him with a broken heart. But mine got broken that day too! He's had a wonderful partner that he's lived with for over 2 years now that he met in school while still in Houston. I know he loves me, and that he always will. I also know that he dearly loves his partner and that he wouldn't leave him for the world; me included. While this hurts me to write, I am happy that he's happy now.
He's studying there for a Combined Bachelor of Laws and Master of Business Administration. It's an intense 4 year program that goes year round. After the spring semester I visited him and gave him a Tigger, and this story as my gift to him for old time's sake. We've exchanged numbers, and we've talked a lot since.
It's funny how clich‚ it is, but thoughts of Jon are what kept me going a lot of the time. I guess time changes things though, and I have to get my life on track with Jon as just a good friend. As for me, there is someone in my life now. He's a little guy, 5'4", handsome, with a great body and gentle features. He has a great job; now flying for a major national airline and is based out of Los Angeles. More important, he's found himself, he's confident and happy in who he is. I've actually known him for some time now, yet it's funny, he was a stranger for so long that I didn't recognize him at first. That someone is me!
And still, no matter what the distance, no matter the time, I'm just a phone call away. Like the Bon Jovi song Blood On Blood:
"Through the years and miles between us It's been a long and lonely ride But if I got that call in the Dead of the night I'd be right by your side."
I still love you Jon,
Your Timon.
Note to the reader:
Hey! Thanks for reading, I hope you liked the story! I will be honest with you: From the Heart of a Little Guy doesn't come directly from any of my experiences. I wish I could say that it was all from real life experiences, and I went through it all and survived quite well, but that would be a lie. I'm sorry if this disappoints you. It does come from life experiences, things I've heard or read in the news, and honest memories of personal feelings, desires and situations however up to this very day. Daniel and Jon are both parts of me. This is the first story I have posted. I wrote all of it except the conclusion beginning about a year ago when I was bogged down in another story I have on the go (still nowhere near completion). I then went on to 4 other stories, all in the works, before returning to this one. (I still haven't made a lot of progress on the main story I intended on writing... It'll come to me in time I suppose.) The writing was a form of therapy for me, and now it is more of a hobby than a compulsion, and as always is very dependant on the time I have to dedicate to it. After leaving this story unfinished for over nine months I returned to it and wrote the conclusion to From the Heart of a Little Guy about two months ago now. I have since found a renewed passion for the characters as I revised the grammar and punctuation for each part before posting. I had a major internal debate as to whether I should make it platonic, or keep it as it was originally written. In the end I kept true to the body that I had originally written and just added revisions that helped the flow of the story. I added a lot to each part, the initial story looking like a draft in comparison with Part 6 needing the most work; expanding it to more than triple its original length I tried to capture some of the passion along with the emotion. Keeping in mind the name of the site, I hope it came out that way, not as pure smut. Now, at the end, if you still like it, think of this posting (part 7) as a somewhat alternate ending. Because of the feedback I received I will be carrying on Jon's side of the story in a new story titled Dear Journal. It will have a different moderator (Jon) and therefore possibly a slightly different view point, new obstacles and experiences as well as some time aged ones, but I've started the first few pages of it, and intend to keep the feelings and tone real and honest and the story plausible. * IF * all things go as planned, I should have part one of Dear Journal posted in the same section at the same time I am posting this. Unlike this story which was mostly already `in the can' so to say, I intend to post the new story as I write it, so it should prove to be an interesting experience.
As always, let me know what you think! Please direct any positive comments, constructive criticism or general feedback to: mission_hockey_4_life@hotmail.com, and use the story title as the subject.
hugs Take care,
~Jake