This work contains elements of sexuality between teenagers and includes homosexuality in prevalence. Please exercise proper discretion. Do not read this if it is illegal for you to do so or if the subject matter will potentially offend you. The author assumes no responsibility for misuse or misconduct associated with the dissemination or viewing of this work. Any characters, representations or events should be assumed to be purely fictional with any possible resemblance to the real world being entirely coincidental or otherwise such that it may be treated as innocuous. This work is copyrighted by the author, who retains all rights and priviledges. This work should not be reproduced without the written consent of the author. Please direct all feedback and comments to kanseiji@gmail.com. Thanks for reading.
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"From Where I Stand" by Kanseiji
Chapter Fourteen - Into the Fray
"Alright babe, I gotta run," Jase said quickly as he pecked me on the lips. "I'll stop by the meet later, k?"
"Ok, I'll see you there. Love you."
"Love you too. Oh yeah, here." Jase handed me his...our...journal. It had been a while since we actively handed it off to each other because of my emotional problems...it was nice to have things back to normal.
"Oh, thanks. Ok, you better go."
"Yup, bye!" With that he ran down the hall...hopefully he wasn't late to class.
The journal had really been a lifesaver...after my breakdown with Justin and Ryan, I tried to put everything back in place with my life...and Jase was probably the biggest part of that. We talked a lot...and in between talking, I would write in the journal. Jase would write back to me in it...it was like we never stopped talking to each other because of how much we were writing to each other. I was definitely feeling better...a lot of weight was lifted from my chest. Life was starting to feel like it was worth living again.
I had a study hall with not much to do, so I opened up the journal. Jase had it the night before and we didn't have a whole lot of time to talk in the morning since I slept in a bit and he had class. I found the latest entry.
"Hey babe, I'm really missing you right now...in more ways than one...hehe. I can't wait for school to be over so we can have some "us" time before you start classes again and I start working. I will make time to come see you though...and hell, Havard's closer than home so I may just stay with you...haha. I bet we could torture Ry and CJ with the sounds of us making wild monkey love. Oh yeah, since I'll probably forget later, Ry called me by mistake while trying to call you. It was late and you were probably asleep, so I told him I'd pass you the message. He said that you guys are good to move in on the 5th. You're gonna have such a blast this summer. Ok, I better stop writing since it's like 3 in the morning and pretty soon my grammar will be as bad as yours...hehe. It's ok, I forgive you...not all of us can have impeccable English skills...especially not scientists. Hehe...love you babe. -Jase."
"Heh...love you too," I said aloud after I finished reading. I was happy to hear that the move in date was set...I was already getting anxious and it was more than a month away.
The Harvard summer session started late in June, so there was a buffer between the end of school and when I would start up again. Jase was starting an internship just before my move in date, so we would have some time to just bum around together.
A slight motion caught my eye as I was thinking about the summer...I looked up and saw Justin walking up with someone else. He normally had another class that period, but the teacher had been out sick, so the class got a free pass to study hall if they wanted. I didn't recognize the person walking up with him though.
"Hey Ace, what's up?" Justin sat down next to me and put his stuff down. His walking companion was still standing.
"Eh, not much, just reading...um, hi I'm Chris," I offered looking up at the new guy and waving since he was out of arm's reach.
"Oh Chris, this is Adam...Adam, Chris," Justin said while pointing back and forth to me and Adam.
"Nice to meet you Chris," Adam replied. He finally sat down across the table from me and Justin.
"Adam's on track with me," Justin explained.
"Oh cool, what do you run?" I asked.
"200 and 4x400...I'm not very good though," Adam said, a bit bashfully.
Justin chuckled. "He's being modest...he's one of the fastest 400 runners we've got. The only race he didn't get top four was this one time Neilson fumbled the baton in the relay and Adam tripped on it, haha." Adam blushed a bit.
"Aww...yeah shit happens. Don't feel bad Adam. If you do, have Justin here tell you about all the times I've had soccer forwards crush me after I slide tackled them, haha."
He and Justin both laughed. "Heh, yeah I actually remember. I went with Justin to a couple of your games last semester."
"Oh really? I hope it was entertaining enough to see the nice imprint I left in the ground, haha."
"Heh, yeah dude...we all thought you were crazy. We were like, `who the hell goes after someone like that when they're like five times your size?'"
I raised my hand and Justin spoke up while pointing to me, "That would be dumbass here."
We all didn't have much to do in way of work, so we continued chatting casually. Adam seemed like a pretty nice, easygoing guy...but something felt a bit off with him. He was a bit quieter than me or Justin...which was understandable considering it was me and Justin together...but I thought I noticed something. I guess I may have been checking him out a little...Adam was cute. He had kinda curly, short dirty blond hair and steelish blue eyes...nice dimples when he was smiling too. He was built like a track runner...very fit looking, but not overly muscular. His eyes really caught mine though...but I noticed that he wasn't really looking at me that much...he was looking at Justin. At first I dismissed it...after all he knew Justin and not me...but the little gears in my head started to click together. He was practically staring at Justin...and whenever Justin would look back at him, he would avert his gaze slightly. Then whenever Justin would look away from him, I thought I saw him smile...it was slight and almost...embarrassed. It didn't seem like the typical reaction to just chatting.
"Oh hey, I'll be right back, gotta take a piss," Justin said as he got up and headed for the door. That left me and Adam...and there was a little bit of an awkward silence.
I figured I could try to break the ice a little. "So are you ready for the meet today?"
Adam looked a bit surprised that I was even talking to him. "Huh? Oh...yeah I guess so. It's just like any other I guess."
"Haha, yeah I felt like that about my games. I guess I never really saw you run before...I only made it to like part of two meets this spring, but I'm coming today."
"Oh really? Cheering Justin on, huh?"
"Heh, yeah I guess. He did that to me in the fall, so I decided to return the favor, haha."
"Haha, yeah I remember. You guys are really close right?" That was a bit of an interesting question...Adam was definitely not your typical jock.
"Um...yeah. He's my best friend...since like we were six."
"Wow...that's awesome. I kinda fell out with a lot of my older friends over the years. It must be kinda cool to have known someone that long."
"Heh, yeah it is...so do you two just know each other from track? I guess I haven't really met you anywhere with him before."
"Uh, I guess, yeah. We hang out every so often, but we sorta have different crowds I guess, y'know?"
"Heh, yeah. High school is so cliquey...it's stupid."
"Yeah tell me about it. I can't wait to graduate and go to college. I've had enough of this bullshit." Adam was starting to warm up a little and at least we shared the want for getting out of high school.
"I can't wait either. Have you started looking at schools and stuff yet?"
"Sorta...actually I'm going to be taking classes at Harvard this summer." Woah...and there I was thinking that I was special...but I guess it made sense that I wasn't the only one that was doing it.
Still, I was surprised. "Oh really? Me too!"
"Oh yeah that's right...Justin mentioned that you were. Do you know where you're living?"
"Actually I have a couple friends who are regular students there that are staying to take summer courses. We got an apartment together near campus."
"Oh wow, that's cool. They stuck me in Thayer Hall. I just hope I don't cook to death when it gets hot out."
"Haha, yeah. It should be ok. Well this is kinda cool, do you know what you're taking yet?"
"Um yeah, I'm taking macroeconomics and calc II."
"Oh sweet, I'm taking calc II! I think there was only one section, so I'll probably have class with you."
"Aw man, that's great. I was thinking I wouldn't know anyone there...and I could really use a homework buddy...I'm so bad about doing work, haha."
"Hehe, yeah me too. Man, this is awesome. Here I thought I was all original for doing this, haha."
"Haha, yeah so did I."
"Did what?" Adam and I looked up and saw Justin sitting back down.
"Hey J, Adam's gonna be at Harvard with me this summer."
Justin looked over at Adam inquisitively. "Huh? Really?" When I looked back at Adam, I noticed that his expression had changed slightly...he had seemed excited before, but that had changed to...I guess he just looked a bit shy.
"Um...yeah I am."
Then it was Justin's turn to look a little excited. "Oh cool! Dude, we should all hang out over the summer. I'm gonna be around bugging Chris here anyway and his roomy Ryan." That's when I noticed it...Adam's eyes lit up a little when Justin said that.
"Oh! Cool! That'd be great!" Adam sounded a bit excited at the prospect...I thought I was overanalyzing, but he almost sounded too excited.
Justin continued, "So you guys aren't taking stuff together are you?"
I spoke up. "Actually we're gonna be taking calc II together...looks like we'll be homework buddies."
"Awesome. Ace, you'll love Adam, he's the guy that helps out everyone on the team with math, haha."
Adam blushed a little again. "It's nothing."
I was getting kinda interested. "Hey Adam, are you taking calc now?"
"Yeah...are you? I guess we're probably in different sections."
"Yeah I'm in the morning...I'm guessing you're in afternoon."
"Yep, haha."
Then it occurred to me. "Oh hey, do you know Jason Coleson?"
Adam's eyes wandered around their sockets for a moment. "Um...I think so...oh yeah, he's the soccer goalie. Yeah, he's in my class."
"Heh, small world I guess, he's...our friend too." I almost slipped on that one.
"Oh cool. Yeah it's a small world, haha."
We all continued chatting for the rest of the period. When the bell rang, we walked out into the halls and Adam went off to his class while Jase walked with me since we had class together.
"It's cool that you and Adam are both doing this Harvard thing, huh?" Justin said.
"Heh, yeah it is...um, J?"
"Yeah?"
"I don't know...maybe I'm just overanalyzing or something...but...I guess I just get this weird vibe from Adam." My mind was still busy analyzing all the little things I thought I was picking up on.
"Oh? Like what kinda vibe? I mean he's cool. Do you think he's weird or something?"
"No it's not that...it's just...oh god." The light bulb lit up and the oven timer went off in my head. "J, I think he likes you."
If Justin had been drinking at that moment, there would have been liquid all over the floor. "WHAT?!" He said it a little loud...enough so to elicit a few looks from random people in the hallways. Justin looked around a little and then back to me. He asked, in a quieter voice, "Ace, what are you talking about?"
"I just...I dunno J...I just thought I noticed him...y'know...I guess it just reminded me of how I used to act around you sometimes. Like back when I had...serious feelings about you." It did all seem familiar...the stares, the shy smiles, how Adam had seemed fixed on everything Justin said and did.
"Dude, Ace...are you sure?"
"No...like I said, I just have a feeling. God, where's Ryan when you need him."
Justin's eyes lit up. "OH! That's perfect! Ace, we should introduce him to Ryan."
Oh boy. "Um...J..."
"No I mean it's perfect...Ryan has the perfect gaydar, right?"
"Yeah..."
"So he'd be able to tell if Adam was gay or not." Justin was grinning like an idiot.
"You seem very amused with all of this."
"Haha, dude...do I just attract gay guys or something?"
I groaned. "I will not massage your ego with an answer."
"Ha! Man, this is just funny. I have so many gay guys in my life...do I come across gay or something?"
I decided to have fun with that. "Well, that may explain why you get girls so easily."
"Huh?"
"Oh don't you know? Girls love gay guys. You must have `fag' written all over you...and there's the way you dress too..."
"Oh ha ha, very funny Ace. Just because I dress better than you doesn't make me gay."
"Yes it does."
That made him think for a second. "Ah shit...it does, doesn't it?"
I rolled my eyes and pointed up and down on him. "This was wasted on you." Justin was more than a bit on the metrosexual side. He owned too many tight, trendy looking t-shirts, he only bought jeans that hugged his ass in all the right ways and I swear he was in love with his own hair.
"Haha. Yeah well, I dress you enough, so shut up. You get the benefits too."
"Heh, I guess that's true enough."
It was weird thinking that I had encountered another gay guy in school. Sure it made sense that there were others...I mean I couldn't have lucked out completely and have gotten the only other one in Jase. I guess being in the closet made it weird.
Track meets at our school didn't exactly draw huge crowds. The people who did show up usually just hung out with their friends on the team...which was what I was doing. Organization was pretty loose...the runners would just do whatever they wanted up until they had to do an event. Justin was encamped near the track with a bunch of his friends on the team...plus me. The group would cheer on whoever was in an event, but overall the meet was pretty mellow.
When I got there, Justin was off talking to his coach, so I just sat down near some of Justin's friends that I knew. Andy was on track too, so when I spotted him, I naturally gravitated a bit toward him since I knew him. After a little while though, I noticed someone else had sat down next to me...Adam.
"Hey Chris," he said as he sat down on the grass.
"Oh hey Adam. Didn't see you come up."
"Heh, it's ok. So aren't you gonna be bored or something? Track isn't exactly the most interesting thing to watch, haha."
"Eh, it's ok. Figured I'd cheer on whoever I know and I brought a few things to do anyway," I said motioning to the journal and my CD player. "So when is your race?"
"It's not for like another 30 minutes. These things take so long."
"Heh, yeah."
"So what's that?" he asked, pointing to the journal.
"Huh? Oh, this...it's just a journal. I just write and doodle in my free time."
"Oh cool. I used to keep a journal, but I just sorta fell out of the habit of writing in it."
"Heh, yeah that happens."
"Oh hey, did you do the calc yet? I got a bit stuck on one of the problems."
"Um yeah, Jase and I did it yesterday. I think we got everything, so if you need any help."
"Cool...I have a feeling you're gonna be saving my ass this summer, haha."
"Hehe...yeah well we may have to do some mutual saving. I always forget about homework...Jase has to remind me."
"Jase is Jason Coleson, right?"
"Oh yeah, sorry...I never call him Jason anymore."
"Haha, it's ok, just checking. So you're all pretty tight, huh? You, Justin and Jason?"
"Um...yeah we end up spending a lot of time together."
Just then, we both heard someone yell, "ADAM!" Adam looked back behind him and I gazed on over as well. We saw a girl in a track uniform running up to where we were. She practically dove onto Adam's sitting form. "Hey babe! I thought you were gonna come find me!"
"Oh sorry Becks...oh hey," Adam said as he turned to me. "Chris, this is Rebecca, Becks, this is Chris."
Rebecca reached out to me with one hand while maintaining her spot in Adam's lap. "Nice to meet you, Chris."
"Likewise," I said as I shook her hand lightly. For a girl, she was pretty good looking...dark brown hair with a pretty face. She looked like she was probably a distance runner...she was on the skinny side.
"You're not on track right?" she inquired while looking at my non-track uniform attire.
"Heh, nope, just hanging out."
"Ah cool. So how do you two know each other?" she asked with an eyebrow cocked.
Adam started, "He's friends with Justin...just met today actually."
"Oooh. Yeah well, I guess everyone knows Justin, haha."
I laughed myself. "Yeah it seems that way."
She suddenly got a look of realization on her face. "Ohhh! You're that Chris...the one Justin's surgically attached to all the time, haha!"
Adam looked a bit embarrassed...I wasn't sure why. "Becks, come on..."
I just chuckled. "Heh, don't worry...it's kinda true I guess."
Rebecca looked away for a second and then spoke up. "Oh! Looks like I have to go run now...catch you boys in a bit!" She planted a quick kiss on Adam's cheek and ran off.
Adam still looked a bit bashful. "Sorry about that, she just says whatever comes to her head."
"Haha, no worries. So are you two..."
"Huh? Oh no, just really good friends. She's not my type, heh." I suddenly had the strong urge to ask him just what his type was...but I held it back.
"Oh ok."
We had some light and rather idle conversation for a while. Justin sat down a bit later and the conversation picked up noticeably...Adam seemed a lot more receptive after he showed up. They both ran off to go run a relay a bit later on...I watched and joined the group in cheering the relay team. When they were finished, we resumed just talking and hanging out. I think I caught Justin and Adam staring at each other a few times...I knew Justin was staring because of the me bringing up that I thought Adam was gay...I wasn't completely sure about Adam though...my gaydar really needed a tune-up.
"Hey stranger." I turned away from my observation of Adam to see Jase behind me.
"Hey Jase." I really wanted to hug and kiss him right there...I could tell he had the urge too. He greeted Justin and then turned to Adam.
"Oh hey...it's Adam, right?" Jase asked as his eyes came to Adam.
"Yeah, hey Jason. You here to just hang out too?" Adam asked as he glanced over to me.
"Haha, yeah got nothing better to do I guess."
"Heh, cool. Oh hey, I'll be back in a bit, looks like I'm up for the 200." Adam ran over to the track where runners were starting to line up. The group had thinned down to pretty much me, Justin and Jase, so I guess we all felt more open for conversation of a more sensitive nature.
Justin started, "So...Ace thinks Adam is gay."
Jase looked surprised. "Really?" he asked looking at me.
"I just have an inkling...I'm almost positive he's been ogling over Justin all day today."
"Haha, damn Just, you're just queer bate, aren't you?" Jase remarked.
Justin tried to look indignant. "It's not my fault that I'm just fabulous."
Jase and I both groaned. "Someone please quench his ego before it explodes," I said with some degree of jested disgust.
"Y'know we could just introduce him to Ry," Jase suggested.
"Ah ha! I thought of that too!" Justin exclaimed triumphantly.
I just sighed. "It's times like this that I wish I'd keep my big mouth shut." On the other hand, I was curious...and what's the point of having a gay-spotting bloodhound of a friend if you're not going to take advantage of it? Don't answer that.
Justin thought of something else just then. "Oh yeah, Adam's gonna be at summer school with Chris, too. So he'll probably meet Ryan anyway...ooo, this could work."
Something occurred to me though. "Why are we so interested in someone possibly being gay?"
The two J's looked at each other as if they were mentally conversing. Jase spoke up. "Cause we're bored?" It wasn't exactly the groundbreaking response I was hoping for, but I guess it was good enough.
I decided to acquiesce. "Eh, oh well...guess it wouldn't hurt to identify another member of the species. I just hope he doesn't have too bad of a crush on J here."
Jase agreed. "Yeah, that would suck. It wouldn't hurt to have Adam on the team though...he's cute." We all laughed at thought...mostly because it was true. It wasn't that we were superficial or anything...we just thought looks mattered...a lot, hehe.
Justin shook his head. "Man, it's a good thing I can get laid on a regular basis...otherwise I may hit up some guy that is into me, haha." That garnered surprised looks from me and Jase. "Oh come on...if there's no cheating involved, what's wrong with that? I mean a blowjob is a blowjob, right?"
"You're hopeless, J," I said.
"Was he born this horny or something?" Jase asked me.
"Yeah I think he was...good thing I'm shy cause I probably would have been giving him that `blowjob is a blowjob,' haha."
Justin cocked his eyebrows. "Really?"
I scooted over and put my arm around Justin. "J, I love you to death...but don't even think about it."
He started pouting. "Ah man...why does everyone have to rain on my parade?"
Just then, a scream came from the distance. "JUSTIN!" We all turned our heads in the direction of the sound...and we all saw Rebecca running up. In a manner similar to her greeting of Adam, she jumped into Justin's lap and gave him a hug.
Justin hugged her back. "Hey Becks!"
Rebecca poked up her head and had a look around. "Damn, it's just eye candy for Beck day today...mmmmhmmm." That elicited some blushing from me and Jase as she gave us each a once over. "Oh hey, is Adam back from his race yet?"
"Nah, he hasn't come back yet," I volunteered.
"Ok good...so I gotta ask you guys something." She leaned inward toward the center of the little circle we had formed...which of course caused us all to lean inward with her. "Are any of you guys gay?" And that's about when my heart stopped beating. I managed to look over at Jase...his face was white as a ghost.
Possibly sensing that Jase and I were robbed of our usual speech capabilities, Justin asked, "Um...Becks...how did you know?"
She just rolled her eyes and waved us off. "Oh stop looking so scared you guys. I'm a girl...I can just tell these things...well at least most of the time. So I'm guessing by your reactions that you two," she said, pointing at me and Jase, "are the gay ones. Oh well...so much for that."
Jase and I both went, "Huh?"
"Oh no, I didn't mean it like that...it's just...ok, don't say anything cause he's kinda touchy about it, but Adam is gay," she whispered to us.
Justin just lit up. "AH HA! Damn, Ace you were right!"
It was Rebecca's turn to look surprised. "You guys knew?"
I raised my hand. "I sorta caught him ogling over Justin."
"Oooohhh...yeah about that." Rebecca turned back toward Justin. "So Just, my boy Adam has it really really baaaaaad for you."
I just put my face in my hands. "Oh no...you shouldn't have said that."
She looked confused. "Huh?" Then she got the picture...right about when Justin started giggling like a fool.
"AHAHA!! I'm a gay magnet!" Justin declared.
"Well personally I was hoping you were still batting for us, Just," Rebecca said, chuckling. "But I just don't know how to bring this up with Adam...he's not exactly comfortable with that part of him."
Jase smiled. "Hey, if he needs someone to talk to," he said as he half-hugged me, "fags are us."
"Awww...you two are so cute. Please tell me you're together!" We just smiled back at her. "AWW! That's so awesome. God, I've been trying to hook Adam up for months, but he won't budge."
I smiled. "Yeah well I kinda know how he feels," I said, pointing my thumb at Justin. "He's a bit of a heartbreaker."
Justin's mouth dropped. "Wha? Aw come on Ace..." he said with his puppy face.
I laughed at the gesture and turned to Rebecca. "Yeah he was kinda my first kiss...didn't do anything for him though."
"Awww...well at least he tried." Rebecca repositioned herself a little in Justin's lap. "So then, does that mean you're available?" she said while batting her eyelashes in his face. I thought my eyes would either explode or pop out of their sockets...Justin seemed to be in a similar condition.
Justin seemed speechless, so I decided to interject, "J, I like her...she's got balls."
That elicited a big smile from Justin. He looked her over...probably involuntarily...and smiled even more. He croaked out, "Um...yeah I am."
Rebecca looked a little disappointed though. "Mmm...yeah I don't think I can though...not until Adam is over you." Justin frowned a bit after that.
Jase and I looked at each other quickly...bing! "I think we can help," we both said in perfect unison...yeah we had seen Cruel Intentions one too many times. It probably didn't hurt that we were both schemers, either...muahaha.
"I said forget it J, I'm not going."
"Why not?"
"Um let's see...it's prom so I'll have to go get some bimbo to go with...so I'll pass."
"You don't have to."
"Justin, come on...Jase and I are not going to show up to prom hand in hand. We're not ready for that yet."
Justin sighed. "Alright...well then I guess I won't go either."
"J...that's not what I meant. You should go...go ask Becks to go."
"Grr...she'll probably say no anyway cause of this whole Adam thing."
"Well maybe not...not after we're done."
"So what exactly are you and Jase thinking anyway?"
"We were thinking of introducing Adam to CJ."
"Ooohhh...now why didn't I think of that?"
"Because you were too caught up with the good feeling Becks was giving you in your lap," I said, pointing to Justin's crotch.
"Hehe...yeah probably."
It had been about a week since the track meet. Rebecca decided that if it was ok with us, she would let Adam in on the secret when she thought the time was right...and so she could let him down gently about Justin. She was a really nice girl, but I can't blame her for wanting to get Adam off of Justin so she could have him...they had been teasing each other all week in anticipation.
Prom season was also coming up quickly. I knew Justin wanted to go...with Becks of course...but so far she hadn't let us know if she had broken the news to Adam. Jase and I had a little sit down over the weekend with Ryan...scheming was fun. Once Becks let Adam in on the state of things, we were going to invite him to come hang out at Harvard under the pretense of "showing him around" before the summer started. Ryan would arrange for CJ to be around...luckily for our plans, he was still single...and then we'd see if there was any chemistry between him and Adam. It seemed foolproof enough...and if it worked, everyone would be nice and happy. Justin could get together with Becks, Adam would be exploring things with CJ and Jase and I could be content in our matchmaking skills. Jase and I were really kinda hoping that Becks would get it over with soon. Since we weren't really out, I guess we just felt like having more gay guys to hang around was a good substitute to being completely open...we were already eager to add him to our calc homework sessions and we had every intention of hanging out a lot over the summer.
I guess I was getting really into it all...it felt good to have more fun and easygoing things to think about...all the dark feelings that I had over the previous months were all but gone. Jase had been taking every opportunity to just spend time with me...I guess to make sure I was still doing ok...and I enjoyed the attention enough.
As stupid as it was, prom was starting to get on my nerves. It seemed like everyone was asking everyone who they were going to prom with...and it was just junior prom too. I never really bought into the whole school dance thing and Jase and I were content in sitting it out. I did have a bit of a yearning though...that stupid kid's dream of slow dancing with that special someone...but I had already decided to stay mostly in the closet until I was in college. Jase had the same sentiments about it...we were both still going to do soccer the next year, so we didn't want to make that any weirder than it had to be. Paul and Eric aside, we weren't too sure about how the team would react to something like that and we weren't eager to find out.
"So I know it's probably stupid to ask about this now, but do you know where you're applying to college?" Justin asked, very much out of the blue.
"Um...I dunno. I guess I've been kinda caught up in this Harvard thing...I haven't really thought about actually applying for college."
"Heh, yeah that makes sense. I know you're already in love with Harvard though, so I guess you're probably going there."
"J, doing this summer thing doesn't mean I'll get in..."
"No...but your grades, test scores and recommendations mean you will."
"Heh...I hope so. God it's so stupid, but I really do love that damn school."
"Haha, Ace I know...you've practically planned on going there since you were eight. But anyway, are you gonna apply anywhere else?"
"Yeah I will...just in case, haha. I guess I'll hit a bunch of schools that take common app so I don't have to fill out too many more forms and shit. Oh and I guess I'll apply to UMass..."
"Haha, UMass? Ace, if you go there, I'll kick your ass."
"Heh, why?"
"Um, cause you're smarter than that. Besides, your mom won't let you...especially after Daniel went to MIT."
"Ugh...don't remind me. Even if I do go to Harvard, I'm still gonna have to deal with him and his `that rehab center up the river' attitude."
"Haha. Yeah well don't listen to him. Do you know where Jase is applying?"
"Um...not really. We haven't really talked about it much."
"Oh really? Heh...well he's just like you as far as grades and stuff goes, so he'll probably hit the top schools too. You two may just be together forever, haha."
"Hehe...I can only hope."
Jase and I really had never talked about things that far ahead. Life was too good at the time to be worrying about the distant future...funny how a year can be the distant future when you're 17. Frankly, I couldn't imagine my life without Jase then...and I didn't want to.
No matter how much I tried, my locker always got messy. I would organize it periodically, but when I was running around to classes and such, I would invariably throw things in because of time constraints and they would pile up. Not too many people would take time out of their afternoon...after school no less... to clean out their locker, but I did because it was bothering the hell out of me. I was probably swearing up a storm as I threw old papers and junk into a pile so I could get rid of it. My head was deep in my locker when I felt someone tap my shoulder.
"Chris?" I just about hit my head on the shelf in my locker. I pulled my head out and looked behind me. Adam was looking at me, rather timidly.
"Oh hey Adam. Sorry, I was kinda caught up in this shit hole that I call my locker, haha."
"Heh, yeah I can see that. Um, do you have a minute?" He looked scared as hell...I figured that Becks had the talk with him.
"Yeah sure...I should take a break from this before I end up burning everything. So what's up?"
"Um...I...Becks told me." Adam was looking at me very shyly...but he seemed to think I knew what he was talking about.
"Ahh...are you doing ok?" I wasn't sure how traumatized he was by everything...it was probably a lot to take in.
"Yeah...I'm ok I guess. Just...I dunno...I'm kinda new at this I guess, heh."
"Heh, yeah I get you there. So have you talked to anyone else?"
"Uh...not really. I was a bit taken back when Becks told me everything. I dunno...I definitely didn't want to talk to Justin and I guess...I guess I just felt a bit more comfortable talking to you. I hope that's ok."
It was a bit touching. "Aw, of course it is...yeah I'm sorry about Justin...been through that too, haha."
"Heh yeah that's what Becks said. I think she likes him too...gah."
"Yeah...there's kinda something there. Justin's great...just not gay unfortunately."
"Mmmhmm...but it's kinda cool...y'know, you and Jase. Becks kept telling me that I wasn't the only gay guy in school, but I guess I never bought it."
"Hehe, I thought that until I met Jase. I guess we're hiding out everywhere. Oh hey, I'm actually meeting up with him in a bit...we're having our usual calc homework night...as soon as I'm done nuking my locker here. Wanna come?"
Adam's expression lightened. "Yeah, that'd be great. Uh, do you need some help with this?" he asked, pointing to the foot tall stack of junk I had accumulated on the floor.
"Haha, if you don't mind. I just need to throw that stuff out."
"Heh, ok. I should clean my locker at some point too," Adam commented as he picked up the junk and walked over the closest trash can. He helped me for a few minutes as I got my things in order and then after he grabbed his own books, we headed out of the school to go to my house.
I noticed Jase sitting on the steps in front my house as Adam and I walked up. He looked so cute...just sitting there writing in the journal and bopping his head while he listened to music. He was completely oblivious to us until we were practically next to him. My shadow fell over the page he was writing on and he looked up.
"Hey! Sorry, I didn't see you guys."
"Heh, I noticed." I leaned down and gave Jase a quick peck on the lips. He was a bit hesitant, but he didn't move away.
As we broke the kiss, he looked over at Adam. "So I'm guessing Rebecca finally spilled."
Adam was wearing a nervous smile. "Heh, yeah...wow...sorry, I've never really seen two guys kiss in person, haha."
Jase grinned. "Oh you'll probably be seeing more of that than you may want, hehe."
"So Adam is in for calc homework...maybe we can fly through it tonight," I threw in.
"I still don't know why we have homework...we took the AP test already."
Adam groaned. "Yeah I know, what's the point, right?"
"I guess we can't get off that easy...and the AP test was easy, right?" I asked.
They both nodded. "Yeah after doing all those hellish problem sets, the test was a breeze," Adam said.
I opened my door and we headed in. Jase pitched the idea that he and Adam would get started on the homework while I cooked something...I swear, I won him over through his stomach. It took me about 35 minutes to whip up some food...by the time I did, Jase and Adam were practically done with the homework.
"Well that was quick," I said, surprised.
Jase smirked. "Yeah he's smarter than us. If he could cook as well as you, I'd dump you, hehe." I glared at Jase jokingly while Adam blushed...he was way too easy to embarrass.
"Man...you guys are so cute together," Adam remarked.
Jase came up behind me and wrapped me up in a warm embrace. "Hehe, thanks," he said as he kissed my cheek. "I bagged me a good one."
Adam smiled briefly, but sighed after. "I wish I had someone. God, I feel so dumb for getting hung up over Justin."
"Oh Chris here can relate to that. Don't worry, you never know what'll happen." Jase was looking a bit mischievous...I was hoping that Adam wouldn't catch on.
"Oh yeah, Adam...we were gonna ask you if you wanted to come hang out at Harvard this weekend with the guys I'm rooming with."
"Oh! That sounds cool. I haven't really been around much there."
"Alright, let's plan to get together on Saturday then." And the scheme was working...muahaha. I felt like Ryan Philippe in Cruel Intentions...except not as evil, hot or as well scripted...yeah I needed to stop watching that movie before I accidentally got myself run over by a taxi or something. Still, things seemed to be falling into place and the upcoming summer was looking good.
"Who's bright idea was this?" I was more than a little nervous...facing a 100 foot wall that I was supposed to scale wasn't exactly doing it for me...in fact I thought I was going to puke.
Ryan just laughed at me as he saw my face full of terror. "Hehe, it was Jase's idea. I think his thought was that it'd be fun...oh and something about giving CJ and Adam someone to laugh at together."
"Grr...why me..." Ryan squeezed my shoulder in a vain attempt to calm me down...I hated heights.
"Hey it's not gonna be too bad. It's perfectly safe...I've done it dozens of times. Um...Chris you should probably loosen up a little...before your hands start bleeding, haha." I looked down at my hands...my fists were clenched so tightly that my knuckles were pale. I could also feel my fingernails digging into my palms...it took a moment, but I loosened my grip slightly so that I could get the feeling in my hands back.
"Ry...I don't think I can do this...I'll have a heart attack or something."
"Aww...hey, I'll go up with you, ok? It'll be just fine. Jase is gonna anchor you so you don't fall. It's fun once you get going, I promise."
"Ggrrr...if I die, I'm gonna haunt you both."
"Haha, deal."
So Jase had the bright idea that we should all go indoor rock climbing...of course he arranged everything with Ryan and Justin beforehand without letting me in on it. It's not that I was afraid of heights...my blood just froze whenever I was more than two feet off the ground. I could handle airplanes without any trouble at all, but anything where I could perceive the chance of me freefalling, I was terrified. It turned out that Ryan and Jase were pretty avid about rock climbing...and everyone else seemed receptive to the activity. Then there was me...peer pressure gets you to do stupid things.
I glanced behind me so I could take my eyes off the wall of death for a moment. A smile crept onto my face as I saw Adam and CJ...when we introduced them, they were all smiles. They had lingered a little longer than normal when they shook hands...and they were closer than what was traditional for a handshake...score! Justin was amused when Adam diverted all attention from him to CJ...he and Becks were giggling for several minutes.
We tried not to blatantly set up Adam and CJ...come to think of it, CJ just put the moves on himself. That was after he quietly consulted Ryan about whether Adam was gay or not...I think Ryan's response was, "BING! We have a winner." Adam was pretty shy about the whole thing, but a lot of encouraging looks and smiles from me, Jase and Justin helped him along. CJ was, for the most part, a perfect gentleman about the affair...he went out of his way to always walk next to Adam, held the door for him, took every occasion to talk to him, etc. Adam seemed pretty receptive to it though...and they did look really cute together.
School was finally over and I was in my little lull period before starting summer school. Since getting Adam and CJ together, a macro group seemed to have formed...with lots of couples. Me and Jase, Adam and CJ, Justin and Becks...Ryan was the only single one when we hung out together. He was a little put off by it at first, but over the course of my little "recovery," we had gotten really close again and I spent lots of time with him...and so did Jase. Ryan didn't want to be a third wheel around us, but Jase and I usually welcomed his presence when we were hanging out...I guess a sort of bond had developed between the three of us because of everything that had happened. And of course, there were the constant plans of letting Ryan "borrow" either me or Jase...or both...to attract some hot, gay-loving girl.
So there we all were...everyone seeming to have a pretty good time...except me. Justin and Becks were already halfway up the wall of doom while I was trying to get my nerves under control. Adam and CJ spotting the lines for them and Ryan and Jase were focused on getting me to start conquering my fear...I just wanted to throw down my arms and run away. Ryan had been to the place before and one of the instructors he knew there was going to spot him while he climbed up with me.
"Babe, you'll be fine...come on, just loosen up. It'll be fun." Deep breaths...one...two...three...18...that's about how fast my mind was racing.
It took a few more minutes, but I finally said, "Ah fuck it, let's do this." I immediately regretted saying it.
Ryan went up a little ahead of me so I could follow his example...so I would hopefully not fall off after three feet. It was a good thing that I was wearing gloves...my hands were so sweaty that I would have slipped off otherwise. I kept glancing down...it didn't really help my nerves, but I wanted to make sure Jase was still there holding my line. He just kept looking up at me with a reassuring smile. There were probably seven year olds that were outpacing me on the wall, but I wasn't in any rush...I was just focused on not dying.
Everyone was waiting at the bottom for me when I was on the way down. I was a nice combination of nervous and indignant...everyone was trying to encourage me, but at the same time they were laughing at my languid pace...fuckers. Somehow I had a group of friends that were all not afraid of heights...at least Jase was afraid of spiders too, so I wasn't alone on that one. After a few more tortuous minutes, my feet were planted back on terra firma...I just about kissed the ground.
"See? That wasn't so bad, was it?" Jase said as he gave me a comforting hug.
"Of course it was...now I'm gonna have nightmares of falling off artificial rock walls."
"Aww...so cute," Jase cooed as continued to hug me...I was shaking a little bit in his arms, but it quelled after a few minutes.
After I was sufficiently calm, I took a look around me. It felt a bit strange having so many "friends" around me after being a bit of a loner with only a couple of people close to me. I was just happy to see everyone so...well, happy. That was especially the case with Justin...cause Becks, though she was very loud and outspoken, was just awesome. We started to talk a lot after she and Justin got together...she mentioned something on the lines of, "Justin wanted me to really get to know you...since you two are married and all, haha." The weirdest thing was one night, they both slept over at my house...my mom was out of town again...go figure. Justin and Becks were looking for some "privacy" and since people were around at his house and hers, I volunteered my house...while I wasn't there of course. They ended up spending the night there however...Justin got to sleep in the middle...he said it was cozy and warm.
Then prom came around...and left just as fast. Justin failed to convince me to go, but he and Becks apparently had a good time. I justified to myself that I still had senior year if I wanted to give the archaic tradition a shot...Jase and I just went out on a date instead...which was great. He planned a big surprise night...we had dinner at Johnny D's in Somerville. The food was great...mmm...seafood...and they always have live music there. Then he had managed to get Boston Pops tickets...just awesome. Come to think of it, we heard a lot of jazz that night...normally not my favorite genre, but the mood was just great...especially after we got home to an empty house...hehehe.
"So Chris," Ryan started, jolting me out of my recollection, "you about ready to move?"
"Huh?" The date hadn't quite registered with me...it was the third of June already and we were good to move in after another two days. "Oh right...man I need to start packing."
Jase laughed at me, saying, "Babe...I've reminded you like 20 times to start packing, haha."
"Yeah well not like you help. Every time you come over, I can't get anything done...other than cooking and well...other stuff," I said with a sly smirk.
"Hey!" I turned my attention to Ryan, who seemed a bit indignant. "You haven't cooked for me yet!"
Jase looked pretty surprised. "Really? You guys hang out all the time and he hasn't cooked for you yet?"
"Nope. We always hang out at Harvard or around town...man I've heard too much about your `talents,' haha. I'm gonna have you slaving away in the kitchen all summer long."
I sighed. "Eh, so what else is new? But hey, why don't you come back to Quincy with us a bit later?" I turned and looked around quickly to see if anyone was within earshot. "Cause I'm not cooking for everyone here...fuck that."
Ryan and Jase looked giddy. "YE! More food for us!" Jase exclaimed...hushed of course since he didn't want to draw attention...especially not from my other usual dinner guest, Justin. He continued in a hushed tone, "Yo Ry, you've already had two of the three best experiences with Chris anyway."
Ryan cocked an eyebrow...and so did I. "Two? Out of three?" Ryan inquired.
Jase held out his fingers and counted off, "First, physical intimacy...of any variety," he started with a wink at me...and subsequent blushing by me and Ry. He continued, "Second, he's always the best to talk to..." More blushing from me. "Now you just have to taste his cooking...which is by far the best of the three!" Jase finished...and ran off before I got in reach of him.
Ryan's eyes had gone wide. "Wow...that must be some good stuff." One look at me after that comment and he ran off after Jase. They came back a minute later, still laughing.
"I hate you guys," I deadpanned. They were further amused by that and they both tackled me and fell on top of me...can't pretend I didn't enjoy that.
Ryan rose off of me slightly and supported himself on one arm. "Oh hey, we can also pack up some of your stuff and I can take it with me and keep it up at Harvard if you want...or you guys can come and stay over too, whatever." Jase shifted position to look me in the eye...he looked like he thought it was a good idea.
"Sure, sounds good," I replied and Jase nodded.
"Hey guys?" We turned to see Justin and Becks standing there. Justin continued, "We were thinking about getting going...Becks and I are going out for dinner and looks like CJ and Adam are too."
CJ walked over quickly. "Hey Ry, we're going, so I'll catch you later." Ryan waved him, Justin and Becks off...as did Jase and I. We got up, dusted ourselves and the group said their byes and laters. We had all come by car since the rock climbing place was out in Woburn, so Ryan, Jase and I hopped into Jase's car and we headed back to Boston.
I started planning things ahead and it was then that I realized...we were low on food at home. "Hey guys," I said to Jase and Ryan. "We actually need to stop and get groceries if I'm cooking...I'm a bit low on supplies at my house."
"Ok cool...hey we'll just go up to the store at Porter since it's kinda on the way," Jase suggested.
"So whatcha gonna cook?" Ryan asked, rubbing his hands in anticipation.
"Eh, we'll see what looks good at the store. Any dietary restrictions I should know about?"
"Well...I'm allergic to bad food...so just don't make that and it'll be ok."
"Where did I pick up all these sarcastic friends?"
"It's your fault...it rubs off."
"Heh, does that mean I just need to shower more?"
Ryan leaned over toward me and sniffed. "Hmm...yeah probably."
"Ass."
"Love you too," Ryan responded with his toothy smile...it made me melt a little...he'd never said that before, joking or otherwise. I just chuckled and let it sink in.
"Hey, are you hitting on my boy again, Ry?" Jase jokingly asked as he drove.
"Haha, nah...I'm not in the mood to get punched again."
"Yeah I'm moving in the day after tomorrow mom." I was doing my best to juggle my cell phone, a sauté pan and a pair of tongs as I cooked and talked to my mom.
"Ok, well be careful honey...I guess I'm a little glad that I don't have to worry about you being home by yourself anymore."
"Mom, I'm hardly ever by myself...Justin's mom actually told me to tell you to send her our grocery bill."
"Haha. Well I'll have a talk with her when I get back. You've told her that you'll be at summer school right? She's going to wonder why Justin is suddenly at home for dinner all the time."
"Yeah she knows...she said I deserved a break, but I told her Justin will probably just show up in Cambridge anyway...OUCH!" A little splatter from the pan landed on my arm...I just about dropped the phone.
"Chris? You ok?"
"Yeah I'm fine mom...I'm cooking, go figure. I'll call you later ok? Oh and say hi to guh-guh for me." She was in Las Vegas with my brother on an impulse vacation.
"Ok I will. Love you, bye."
"Love you too, bye mom."
I hung up my cell phone and returned to my cooking...I was just glad I hadn't incinerated anything. We had lucked out at the grocery store...they had fresh mussels, clams, scrod and shrimp for pretty reasonable prices, so I was making cioppino. Given the customers, I also made a few accessory dishes since I was sure that even the massive pot full of stew wouldn't satiate them.
About 20 minutes later, Jase and Ryan were chowing down food as I brought it out to the dining room. I chuckled and smiled as I saw and heard them enjoying themselves...one of life's small pleasures I suppose. As I brought out the final plate of food, I sat down myself and rested for a minute.
"Chris, this is amazing..." Ryan said between mouthfuls.
"Mmm..." Jase was still chewing...he gulped down and finished, "Babe, I love you."
I rolled my eyes. "Maybe I should just go to culinary school and forget all this college nonsense, haha."
"Mmm..." That seemed to be the starting line of the night...this time from Ryan. "Chris, start a restaurant...I will so invest in that." The idea was already pretty deeply seeded in my hopes for the future.
"Heh, I may just hold you to that."
When dinner was over with, I was napping lightly on my bed as Ryan and Jase took care of the dishes...I loved those guys. I didn't even have to ask. I was passing in and out of consciousness when I heard some noise. The next minute, my door opened and Jase stumbled in with Ryan on his back. I started to stir just as Ryan landed on the bed next to me with Jase not far behind.
"Man Chris, I love your house...did you fungshui it yourself?" Ryan asked as he looked around.
"Mmm...nah, that would be my brother Daniel." My brother would always rearrange furniture and make me help him redecorate a little whenever he was home...I could never get used to things being in the same place when I went to his house.
"Oh cool...maybe he should come arrange our place, haha."
"If you can afford him..."
I felt Jase nuzzle up to me...I could pick out the smell of him and the way he wrapped his arms around me. "You tired babe?"
"Mmmhmm..." I was dozing off again. As a yawn pushed its way out of my mouth, I felt a little movement on the bed...I looked to see Ryan getting up.
"Hey why don't I just head home...we can pack and move you some tomorrow."
I felt a little bad about being so tired, but Jase spoke up. "Hey, how bout you just stay here tonight? That ok with you, babe?" The suggestion certainly made a bit of sense...Ryan was a little apprehensive though.
"Um...it's ok guys, I can just come back tomorrow..." It looked like that despite everything, a little residual uneasiness remained...but I was determined to not let that get the best of us.
"Hey Ry, it's ok...why don't you just stay? It'll be easier and it's getting a bit late anyway." I summoned up a mischievous grin. "Besides...haven't had a threesome in a while."
Jase giggled at the thought. Ryan looked down for a second, but his head rose back with a smile. "Alright, if you guys are sure..." Jase and I had the same idea...we both reached out and pulled Ryan back onto the bed. He ended up a bit on top of Jase and I settled down and rested my head on his chest.
Ryan laughed at the display. "Heh, I guess that's a yes."
A few chuckles were had and we shuffled around...I directed Ryan to another bathroom so he could take a shower while Jase and I hopped into mine. I ended up getting out the shower last...Jase had gotten out because I was turning the water on too hot for him...hehe. When I stumbled out of the bathroom...toothbrush jammed in my mouth...I came across a very touching scene.
Jase and Ryan were already in bed...and they looked like they were fast asleep. They were spooning with Ryan's head nested in Jase's shoulder. Ryan was on his side with an arm partially over Jase...Ryan was wearing what looked like one of my tank tops which accentuated his lean form and gave a nice view of the defined muscles of his arms. Unfortunately for the part of my head firmly in the gutter, Jase was wearing a t-shirt that hid most of his physique...it didn't especially bother me since I was transfixed on the face that I adored. My only regret there was that I couldn't get a peek of Jase's soul-touching blues resting behind his eyelids. I made a mental note to draw a picture of the scene that was before me when I had the chance. I finished brushing and hit all of the lights. I crawled into bed next to Jase...his body shifted instinctively to wrap around me as I settled in under the covers...he didn't even wake up. I shifted a little to get closer, turned around and kissed Jase lightly on the lips...I could have sworn that he developed a tiny smile.
Satisfied, I whispered, "Love you..." and closed my eyes.