WARNING: If you are not of legal age to be here, please leave now. I'm not the one who is gonna get their ass fried for you doing something illegal. I have met the band before, but I do not know their sexuality, not that it is my business, but I am still gonna dream... I mean Daniel is so HOT! Any songs that appear in the story will be credited at the bottom. If it says that the song is mine and you want to use it, just ask. Probably won't be a problem but just ask. If you are offended by m/m concepts, please leave and don't come back to any of my stories, I don't appreciate abuse for it which I am really pissed off about. T. Churchill don't ever write again... you have been warned.
Stories I like:
Search and Rescue - (boy-bands) great JC from Nsync story. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!
Jamie's Romance - (boy-bands) A fantastic story that is worth the time to sit and read. Never doubt the power of love is the message I seem to get from this story. MORE MORE MORE!
JC Dreams - (boy-bands) I enjoy writing this one as much as Garden. If you haven't read it, do me a favour and read it then let me know what you think.
Yesterday's Child - (high school) same as above. :o)
Brandis Redemption - (celebrity) Jonathan Brandis... I haven't seen or heard from him for a while. Except in this fan-fucking-tastic story.
Feedback: heartmindsoulau@yahoo.com or heartmindsoulau@hotmail.com ICQ#104300787 Feel free if you should wish to put me on MSN Messanger, should you want to... I'm getting to the entire yahoo messanger thing, it's just not on the comp yet.
Thanks to my matey Casey who gives me lots of feedback and who has joined the JC Dreams crew. I appreciate it though mate, thanks.
I am Australian and trying to write in an international lingo so give me a break if I spell something different or have a different phrasing to what you are used to.
Well, now that's over I'll start the story.
Garden of Song 11 by Sun Child
Standing at the door to my parents place, my father looked at me with disdain.
"I'm a demon am I?"
"Yes, a demon that I'm tired of running from. That's why I'm moving down to Brisbane. I ran down there to escape your grip. I was dying here. Rockhampton has no life for me. I've got to get out. Before I do though. I have to settle all the arguements you have with me."
"You know the arguements I have with you Dan."
"Yeah well, I'm not going to be straight just for you now am I? Since when have I ever bowed to your wishes?"
"Never, that's part of the problem. You never think of any but yourself."
"I don't. What about how you declared that all gay people should die, just like Brendon... someone I saw and loved for two whole fucking years. You even wished I would die. Gee, that's not selfish is it. Something doesn't fit in your ideal vision so it should die... what's next? Politicians... I wouldn't mind seeing them die but I don't wish it on them. Who else? Diabetics? Well guess what, it'll probably kill them anyways. Black people? Well most of them understand persecution so I doubt they'll worry too much about it. They're totaly blaise to biggots like you wishing they would die. Why not deal with it?"
"You try having a son, thinking of the grandchildren that they'll have, the dreams of the family you have for them... only to have them shatter it because they are queer. It's not easy."
"Too right it isn't. You don't think I wouldn't like children? Well, guess what, I would love them. It ain't gonna happen though is it. As for your dream being disturbed... well isn't that what you just called being selfish. Hipocritical bastard." I spat at him. He looked me square in the eye then knocked me down the stairs. I stood back up and walked straight back up to him.
"Mr Powerful, hitting me and knocking me down the stairs? Well it didn't make you appear that way. All it did was make you look more pathetic than you are. Hit someone when you are standing higher than them, not on equal grounds. Hold tight to your power little man, it shakes when rocked because it's base is weak. Time will waste away the very rock you build your powerful empire of morals on and when you fall, it will be a long way down." I stopped and took a breath. It also gave him a chance to think but before he could speak I started again.
"Face the facts, I lead a better, happier life than you did. I'm free, I love, I am loved and you can barely remember what it's like. You go to bed with my mother every night not remembering if you love her or if it's a dream in your head. You struggle to remember who you even are some days. That's because you are so used to a monotony that I don't have so you can't tell if you are feeling anything or nothing." I decided to let him think for a bit but when he went to speak I started again. This was my soap box, no chance in hell he was taking it from me.
"Being gay breaks all monotony, you have to break conventions and keep reminding yourself of that. Routine, while there are some, tends to fly out the window. I have it better and you hate me for it. Well guess what, you are loved. I know my mother does love you and I know my sisters do. I used to wonder if I did or not. Well, I've worked it out ... I do. Despite your self pity and your inability to accept, I do love you. I love you because you are my father. Should you be anyone else I would hate you. But I love you. You are my father and that's the way it'll always be." With that I turned and walked down the stairs and started to walk away.
"Dan!" I heard my father call from behind. I turned and looked back up at him.
"I love you too, my son. Give me time, one day I may accept. May." With that he walked back inside. Turning and walking to the taxi rank, I pulled out a smoke and thought quietly to myself. Getting back to the hotel I flopped on the bed and looked at the ceiling.
"One down, two to go." I told the walls. Remembering Daniel, I grabbed my phone and dialled his number.
"Hello?"
"Hey Sweetie."
"Hi, what are you doing calling at this time? It'll cost you a fortune."
"Yeah well, love you too."
"Sorry, but Dan, be logical... you can't make this call... your bill is going to be huge."
"I know, but I'll cope."
"Okay. So how long until you get back?"
"Well, tomorrow the way things are going. I've faced one of my demons, time to face the others."
"I take it one of them is your father."
"Yup, he's done... cooked and roasted I think."
"Dan..."
"Don't say it. Now I've just got to deal with David and say goodbye to Brendon and it's over. I'm finished. Tomorrow is looking good to be on the way home."
"Okay, well I'll see you then."
"But..."
"Get off the phone. It's too expensive. Call me later off a land line."
"Oh alright. I'll talk later. Love you."
"I love you too." With that, he hung up and I flopped back again on the bed. David could wait, Brendon, well he was now or never. I grabbed a small sheet of paper and walked out of the room.
Getting into the taxi, I asked to be dropped at the cememtry. The driver asked no questions just took the money when we got there. I got out and walked in the gate and took a deep breath. This was going to be harder than my father. Walking up to his grave, I looked at the inscription
Brendon Alexander James born 10 January, 1980 died 20 August 2000
"Why? Why did ya have to leave me so young Bren? Why so young?" I looked at the headstone, as though expecting it to talk back.
"I wrote you a poem Bren. I hope you like it:
Missing you for so long
I want so much to be with you
With you I felt so strong
Now I feel so alone without you
I still don't really want to say goodbye
I want to hold on for hear life
I'm going to be with you, I'm going to try
Without you, I don't want to go on with life
We love for two and a half years
We shared everything in that time
The smiles and the sad tears
I still love you - is that a crime?
Let me be with you
Don't make me go on
If I'm not with you
My life, love, hope and soul are gone.
From behind I heard a voice.
"It's always hard Danny. Always." Turning I saw my mother.
"Why are you here?"
"I come here sometimes, talk to Brendon. He listens, not that I really think he has much choice. It's a way of keeping you around at times. It's been nearly a year since you moved out of home Dan. It's hard not to think about you. About how your child is."
"Okay, now really?"
"That and I wanted to see you before you left again and I knew you wouldn't leave without seeing Brendon. I wish you'd introduced us sooner. Maybe even to your father. Might have made it easier if he had seen what you were dating rather than just hearing."
"Maybe, maybe not. Would you like to have known that I was gay before you did?"
"No I don't think so, it came as a shock when you did tell me. Having a boyfriend, well that was just icing on the cake."
"You needed to know sometime."
"Well, I'm thinking I know now." My mother smiled a little.
"I heard the poem. You are going to..."
"No, I'm not. I wouldn't forgive me, you wouldn't, and I doubt Brendon would. I couldn't do it to Daniel anyways."
"So, how are things between you two?"
"Okay I guess. We have our spats, but we usually work it out."
"Why did Darren ring me to tell me about you and Daniel."
"He was hoping you'd split us up in someway."
"Why?"
"Because he wants Daniel." My mother just rolled her eyes.
"I knew I shouldn't have asked."
"Oh hell yeah."
"So are you done here. I'll take you out for a coffee, my shout."
"Can I have a few more moments please? I've got a few more things to say." My mother nodded.
"I'll be waiting in the car." I nodded and looked back at the grave.
"Well, Brendon. I'm with Daniel now, which I think you know. I miss you, but like I told mum, I won't do anything silly. I love you Brendon. I'll come back and visit when I'm in town next. Keep the poem though... I have a copy but I want you to have one as well." I buried the note next to the head stone and stood up, looked at the grave once and walked away.
Sitting at a small coffee shop, my mother looked at me.
"So why are you in town?"
"I'm here facing my demons. It's time to deal with them."
"Brendon and what?"
"My father, which you'll hear about from him no doubt. I've also got to see David."
"Why?"
"Face the demons which I ran from. He's one. Time to tell him goodbye. I'm out of chances for him and I'm not in the mood for him ever again. No more friendship, nothing."
"Well it's about time." My mother told me matter-of-factly.
"I know I know." I sighed. We talked idly about superficial matters. When we had finished she looked at me.
"Want a lift to David's?"
"Yeah if you could. I'm tired of paying taxi fares."
"How much have you spent on taxi's?"
"Since I left for Brisbane or since I got back?"
"Since you got back."
"About fifty."
"How much in Brisbane."
"About another hundred."
"Well, that's it... we're getting you a car."
"I don't have the money to buy one."
"I do, you can pay me back." With that, we got up and walked to the car. We went to a second hand car dealer and looked. Finally selecting one, we left and went to the bank, returning not long after and paid for the car. We then took it to the Transport Department to get it road worthy tested. It passed with flying colours. I then looked at her.
"Well, I guess I can make it to David's on my own now. Thanks for all your help."
"That's fine... just don't tell your father that I did this."
"I won't... count on it. His turn to contact me. I love you mum." With that I wrapped her up in a big hug. She got in her car and waved, then she drove home, to a man who was ignorant to her love and ignorant to what was the world. Climbing into my own car, I started her up and pulled out of the parking lot and drove away to David's. Pulling up out the front I took a deep breath. Getting out, I locked the car and walked to the door. I hesitated then knocked. David's little sister answered the door.
"Dan. Hi, haven't seen you for a while."
"Yeah, I've moved to Brisbane, I'm in town for a few days and I thought I had better come tie up some loose ends before I leave. God only knows when I'll be back."
"Yeah sure, where are you going? Just back to Brisbane?"
"Well, depends on where Savage Garden goes, I've managed to score a tour ticket with them. I'll be helping Daniel Jones."
"Well done. Well, come in. I'll get David for you." I smiled and she wandered off to get him. Sucking in a deep breath, I awaited the ex. David finally appeared and smiled.
"Dan! What are you doing? Where have you been? How have you been?" When I didn't smile back his face clouded a little.
"Are you okay?"
"Can we go for a drive?"
"Um yeah sure. I'll get my keys."
"Never mind, I've got my own." With that we walked out the front. Unlocking the doors I stared the car and David looked at me.
"Nice car. Now what's wrong."
"Let me start driving then we can talk." David just shrugged and leant back in the seat.
When we got out onto the road he turned and looked at me.
"Okay, now tell, what's the deal?"
"Well, it's a little hard to say."
"What? Come on this is me. You know I love ya."
"No you don't David. You never have and never will."
"I do. I've been thinking about you a lot since you disappeared. Well, I was hoping we could try again."
"No we can't."
"Why?"
"Because I live in Brisbane."
"That all? That's not too far."
"I'm living with my boyfriend down there."
"Oh."
"That's not all David. I've had enough. I don't think I can even be a friend anymore. I've taken all the hurt and punishment I can from you. I loved you for a long time. You were the first person I cared for after Brendon passed away. You used me until something new came along that caught your fancy. Well, I can't be used like that. I'm friend until someone else appears. No more David. I can't take it. Sorry. I'm saying goodbye."
"Well, let me out here then."
"David, don't be stupid I'll drop you home."
"Don't bother, I don't want to know you if you don't want to know me." With that I pulled over to the side of the road and looked at him.
"Then get out." David looked at me in surprise.
"I'll call your bluff... if you want to walk, get out."
"I don't understand why now?"
"Because I'm not running anymore. I'm facing me demons and clearing a few extras out of the closet. Now you can let me drop you home or you can get out here."
"Can you please drop me home." I nodded and indicated and rejoined the mainstream traffic. Dropping David off he looked at me.
"I'm sorry you're leaving. I'm glad your happy though, everyone deserves to be happy. Take care Dan. If you need me, just call." I nodded.
"I will think about it, but I doubt it. Goodbye David." With that he hugged me briefly and climbed out of the car. With that I cranked the music and drove away, honking as I left. He waved and deep down, I think he knew I would never call him again. I think he finally realised, that we would never really speak again.
Getting back to the hotel, I pulled up outside my room, grabbed some ID and so on then went back and drove to the insurance company and insure the car. I took about an hour to process but by the time that was done, they were five minutes off closing. Breathing a sigh of relief I sank back into my car seat and returned to the hotel where I grabbed something light then turned in for the night.
Waking early the next morning, I packed everything and headed off to reception to pay. Upon arriving to pay, I was told that the bill had been picked up and payed by a Mr D Jones. I was going to kill him later for it. Smiling and thanking them I went back to the room and threw all my stuff in the car and drove off. I filled the car and left Rockhampton. Looking in the rearview mirror, I knew it would be some time before I came back.
Driving for eight hours, stopping once or twice to refuel and grab some food, I pulled into Daniel's driveway about five that afternoon. I popped the boot and grabbed my bags then locked the car. Walking up to the door, I slipped my key in the door and unlocked it, letting myself in. I dumped my bag in my room then walked out to the rest of the house and called out for Daniel.
"Daniel, I'm home." Not hearing any response I started to look around. I checked his room, empty. I checked the studio, empty. Sighing, I went and looked in the garage. It was empty as well. I sighed and leant back... he was out. Fair enough I couldn't expect him to be at home waiting for me. Eventually I got the idea that he was out for a while. I picked up the phone and called mum to let her know I was back in town. I spoke to her for a while then I called my mother. She was relieved that I'd made it back safely. Walking back out of the house, I sat on the step and lit a smoke. Eventually, Daniel got home and was shocked to see another car in the driveway. Not realising whose it was he looked around and in and saw no one. It was then I decided to appear. I walked up behind him and slid my arms around his waist and rested my head on his shoulder. His hands slipped down over my arms and leant back into me.
"Welcome home Dan."
"Thanks baby. I love you. I missed you like mad." He turned in my arms and looked at me.
"I love you too and missed you just as much."
"Liar, you just missed the sex." I smiled as he smiled back.
"That too." I poked my tounge at him.
"Yeah well, you aren't getting any for a week as punishment."
"Why? What did I do wrong?"
"Paid my hotel bill."
"Yeah I did so just deal with it."
"I am... by punishing you." I smiled and kissed him lightly on the lips.
"Come on, I've got dinner ready." I told him and took him by the hand, leading him inside. It was good to be back with the guy I loved more than anything."
There we go. All done for another chapter. Love it or hate it, it's done. Deal with it :o) Feedback, as usual welcome... addresses are at the top of the chapter. Keep cool, keep safe, and have fun. Hugs kisses and cookies. SC.