DISCLAIMER: This story is complete fiction and is not meant to imply anything about Nick Carter. (we can all wish though, can't we) If you are offended by material relating to the sexual relationship between two males or are not of the correct age to read such material, please do not continue.
GENE: CHAPTER THREE
I pulled Gene over to the bed and sat him down. I crawled onto the bed behind him and started to massage his shoulders.
"Damn, your muscles are so tight."
"Mmmmmmmm that feels good. I usually get a massage after the concert, but I wanted to get back here to see you so I skipped it."
"You could've stayed and just called me to say you were going to be late. I would've understood."
"No way. I wanted to get back here as soon as I could. Man, you are good at this, did you take classes or something?"
"No, I've just had a lot of practice."
My thoughts went back to all the nights that I gave Mark his massages. It was like foreplay to him. I would massage him, he would get horny, then he would fuck me. I would use that to my advantage even when he wasn't in the mood, I could turn him on with a massage. I hope Laura gives lousy massages.
"Who was he KC?"
"Huh?"
"The one in your thoughts. You're always off in another world with him. Who is he?"
I stopped massaging him and tears started to form in my eyes. He turned around to look at me and when he saw my face, he pulled me into a hug.
"It's ok KC, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want."
I shook my head and pulled away from him.
"No, it's ok. I want to tell you."
He nodded and readjusted himself on the bed so that he was leaning back against a pillow. I sat up next to him and looked down at my hands folded in my lap.
"His name is Mark. He was my friend for 2 years and my boyfriend for a 8 months. We lived together for that time and he left me for his girlfriend who is now his wife. They got married two weeks ago."
"I'm sorry KC." he said as he took hold of my hand as squeezed it.
"It's ok. It's been 4 months now and this little vacation was my way of getting over the heartache."
"Is it helping?"
"Not really, but meeting you has helped more than you'll ever know."
He smiled at me and a feeling of warmth took over my body. He leaned over and started to kiss me. When our lips met, my mind went blank. Mark was gone, my troubles were gone, it was just him and me. As my lips parted, his tongue slipped in and met mine. I slid my tongue against his as he started to run his hand around my chest. I moaned into the kiss as he pushed me back so I was laying on the bed with him over me. Our tongues continued to work against each other. My hand was rubbing all along his inner thigh area and he had slipped his hand inside of my shirt.
He broke our kiss and I opened my eyes to gaze into his.
"So is this helping?"
I smiled and nodded as a tear rolled out of my eye. He laid down next to me, not breaking eye contact. I lifted my head and he slipped his arm under it. I rested my head onto his shoulder.
"Thanks."
"For what KC?"
"For being a gentleman, for knowing that was as far as I could go tonight, for listening, for being you."
"Anytime."
We laid there in silence for a moment and then reality crept back into my world.
"When are your leaving?"
"We have a concert tomorrow night and then leave the next morning for LA."
"Will I ever see you again?"
"Of course KC, why wouldn't we see each other again?"
"Well, you're a busy person. Famous and all and I'm just a guy that lives in a small town in Oregon."
"This sucks. I finally meet someone that I have deep feeling for and he lives in Oregon."
My heart started to beat faster as my mind worked.
"Where do you spend most of your off time?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean if I wanted to spend time with you anywhere in the US, where would be the one place that you spend most of your off time."
"Well, our home base is in Orlando, Florida. But my family lives in New York. Why?"
"Cause I need a change. I need to get away. Away from everything that reminds me of Mark."
"But don't you have family and friends?"
"Ok, we might as well get this over with. This is my life, are you ready for it?"
He nodded and took my hand into his. I looked up at the ceiling and started.
"Gene, I was kicked out of my house when I was 16. My mother found a few things I had written about a boy in high school that I was attracted too. Kinda like sexual scenarios. I admitted that I was gay and they kicked me out. I lived with my grandmother until I was 19. She was a great woman and with her help, I was able to finish high school and start college. She passed away and left me some money. Not much, but enough to keep me off the streets."
"I'm sorry KC, that must have been rough on you."
It was, I loved her more than anyone in the world. She was my rock, the one that protected me from the world. And I miss her deeply."
His hold on me tightened as I continued.
"With my grandmother gone, I had to quit college and get a job. I got an apartment, but needed a room mate to make it. That's when I met Mark. As soon as I met him, we hit it off. He moved in and we became instant good friends. The only friend that I had. We lived together, but didn't see much of each other. Between us working and him spending time with his girlfriends, we were able to spend a few hours every week going out and doing things together. I was his sounding board, listening to all his problems. On my 21st birthday, he took me out drinking. After a few beers, he asked if I was gay. He was just wondering cause he never saw me going out with anyone and I never talked about women. I feared that would be the end of our friendship and he would move out. When I nodded, he said that it was cool and ordered us another beer. When we got home, he left to spend the night at his current girlfriend, Laura's house and I went to bed. I woke up a about two hour later when I felt someone sitting on my bed. It was Mark. He had gotten into a fight with Laura and went out and had a few more drinks. He crawled on top of me and looked me in the eyes. Then he leaned down and kissed me. I lost my viginity that night and gained a boyfriend. He made up with Laura a few days later, but we continued our new relationship for 8 great months until one night when he told me that he was leaving me to marry Laura. He walked out of my life that night and my life has been a complete nightmare since."
The tears started up again as he did his best to wipe them away as they fell.
"So, you see. I'm up for a change. I have a few thousand saved up and if you are interested in me as much as I am in you, I am willing to risk it all to see if we have a future."
"Wow. I mean, you would be willing to risk everything you have on me. God KC, that makes me feel so good inside. I really would like to see if there is enough between us to have a future. Are you sure you want to do this?"
I nodded.
"Just tell me where you spend most of your off time and I am there."
"What about your job?"
"Well, I'm a service tech for printer, copier fax machine company that sells it's products all over the US. I can get transferred to any major city. So, what city would you like me to be in?"
A smile grew across his face.
"Well."
"New York."
My heartbeat quickened. The thought of moving to New York had me speechless.
"KC, I have a place in New York City. You can live there. It's were I stay when I am in the city."
The smile plastered on my face was so big it hurt.
He leaned over me as I laid down again. He smiled at me and with the backs of his fingers, he stroked my cheek.
"I'm so glad I met you KC. I've never felt this way about anyone."
He leaned down and kissed me. Our lips worked against each other. He broke the kiss and turned around and switched the light off. He gathered me in his arms and we fell asleep.
I awoke from the same nightmare again that night. The clock read 5:12 am. I untangled myself from Gene's strong arms and got out of bed. I look at his beautiful face, but the emotions in my heart were at war. Mark was still there no matter what I did to get rid of him. I walked over to the dresser and grabbed my diskman and walked out onto the balcony. I sat down in the chair and put the headphones on. My hand automatically forwarded the disk to track eight and the music started. The song that I had listened to for the past 4 month. The song I used to drown my sorrow. I closed my eyes and covered them with my arm.
Here I go again I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today It's been seven months and counting You've moved on I still feel exactly the same It's just that everywhere I go all the buildings know your name Like photographs and memories of love Steel and granite reminders The city calls your name and I can't move on Ever since you've been gone The lights go out the same The only difference is You call another name To your love To your lover now To your love The lover after me
Am I all alone in the universe? There's no love on these streets I have given mine away to a world that didn't want it anyways So this is my new freedom It's funny I don't remember being chained But nothing seems to make sense anymore Without you I'm always twenty minutes late Ever since you've been gone The lights go out the same The only difference is You call another name To your love To your lover now To your love The lover after me And time goes by so slowly The nights are cold and lonely I shouldn't be holding on But I'm still holding on for you
Here I go again I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today But I'm standing at your doorway I'm calling out your name because I can't move on Ever since you've been gone The lights go out the same The only difference is You call another name To your love To your lover now To your love The lover after me Ever since you've been gone oh no no The lights go out the same Oh no no The only difference is You call another name To your love To your lover now To your love The lover after me The lover after me
I hit the repeat button as I wiped the tears off my face. I closed my eyes and leaned back. The sun was coming out and hitting my face. I sat there listening to the song over and over for I don't know how many times. Crying until there was no more tears to cry. In mid song the music stopped. I opened my eyes an Gene was kneeling next to me. His hand resting my diskman. He got up and sat down next to me and removed the headphones. I looked up, deep into his eyes. I found only concern and love. My body found tears somewhere within and they started to flow out of my eyes. He pulled me into a hug. I sat there in his embrace for I don't know how long, in silence.
My body went limp and he release me. I closed my eyes as he sat back in the other chair.
"Run Gene or Nick or whatever, run. Get as far away from me as possible. You don't need someone like me in your life. I'm nothing and you deserve much more. I'll only drag you down. Run."
"Open your eyes KC. If you are going to blow me off like that, you are going to do it looking me in the eyes."
I shook my head.
"I can't."
"That is the only way that I'm going to run. Open your eyes and tell me to leave looking me in the eyes."
I opened my eyes and looked him directly in the eyes.
"I'm nothing. I care about you too much to have your life ruined by having me in it."
"You are not getting rid of me that easily. You think that just by feeling sorry for yourself and letting that asshole Mark walk all over your heart that you can just dismiss what I feel, what I know you feel. No way KC."
"Why can't you understand. I can't love you. I can't."
"Tell me why you can't love me."
"Cause I still love Mark. I always will."
"And."
"Don't you get it. He will always be in my heart. It will never be 100% yours."
"You don't think I can win all of your heart away from him. Try me. I promise you that he will be out of your heart forever. Give me that chance KC."
"Why can't you just be a jerk, someone I can hate. Why do you have to be such a great guy."
"I will win all of it from him KC, just wait and see."
He got up and kneeled beside my chair and took my hands into his.
"Will you give me that chance?"
He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed it.
I looked down at him. Unsure how this guy got his foot inside the door way into my heart. I nodded.
"Ok, now that that's settled, you go into the bathroom and freshen up. You look like shit."
I smiled and snatched my hands out of his and gave him a backhand across the head.
"Gee thanks."
"Ouch. Damn, you're welcome. Now get up and go freshen up and I'll meet you back in bed. It's too early and I need some more sleep."
I got up and as I started to walk into the room, he grabbed my hand and spun me back around. He pulled me into a hug and then kissed me.
"Now you can go."
"Yes sir."
I walked into the bathroom and did my business and washed my face with cold water. When I walked out, Gene was on the bed listening to my diskman. He looked up and me and took the headphones off.
"The Lover After Me?"
I nodded and lowered my head.
"It's the only way I can cope."
He got up and walked by me, opening my diskman up as he went. He walked out onto the balcony and before I could get to him, he took the disk in his hand to threw it like a frisbee out into the desert.
I ran past him, but all I could do is watch as the silver disk sailed out among the desert brush.
"That's not coping, that's self pity."
He walked up to me and put his arms around my waist.
"Let's go back to bed now."
He pulled me back into the room and walked me to the bed. He laid me down and covered me with the blankets. He walked around to the other side of the bed and crawled in and gathered me into his arms.
"Thank you."
"For what KC?"
"For caring."
"Anyday."
"You know you didn't have to throw my Savage Garden CD out like that. I do listen to other songs on there too you know. I'm not made of money like some people."
"I promise I will buy you another one. Now how come you can listen to them and not know anything about us?"
"It was a gift from an acquaintance. He kept talking about a this song, I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You, that he and his lover felt was written just for them. When I asked about it, he sent it to me. I listen to the whole thing and enjoyed it. When Mark left me, I the words to The Lover After Me popped into my head and have listened to it since. I know it sounds warped, but that has been my life."
"Well, you don't need that song anymore."
He kissed my the back of my head and gave my body a light squeeze.
I closed my eyes, feeling comfort. Feeling his strength. Feeling his love. Feeling Gene.
NOTES: A thank you to all that have written to me concerning the story.
A special THANK YOU goes out to Kyle, author of "Not Meant to Be" for the idea for the song. I know reading a BSB story is torture, but it tells me a lot about the kind of person you are and I appreciate it.
Please let me know what you think of the story. I would love to hear from you.
Brent_alittle_left@hotmail.com
Thanks for reading and until next time.
-Brent