Geoffs Point of View

GEOFF'S POINT OF VIEW

by Donny Mumford

Dajuan's on his way to answer the vice principle's mysterious page. It came over the cafeteria's PA system indicating it was urgent that Dajuan respond immediately, which he did. An unfinished tuna sandwich and limp spinach salad abandoned by him glare up at me from the table... yuck. My other homeboy, Bruce Miller, is out sick today so I'm all alone at the table trying to eat a ham and cheese sandwich that sucks, the food in this place is the worst. It's always noisy in here too... crowded, noisy, and there's always that horrible soup or beef stew smell... gross. It's kind of gloomy too, not enough windows, dull green walls, low ceiling... terrible atmosphere. You'd think towns with the kind of money Dover and Sherborn have would provide a better cafeteria environment. OK, I'm a little negative at the moment, I'm feeling self conscious sitting here alone with all the chatter coming from tables around me. Two months till graduation and then high school will be just a nasty memory for me, actually it's only my senior year that's been bad. Looking up and, uh-oh... here comes Garrett Austin heading directly for my table. Hmmm, he's never tried sitting with me and my boys before but I'm glad for the company today. Garrett's in my homeroom and seems enamored of me for some reason. Holding his lunch tray up and away from his body in a nerdy fashion he steadily advances. Garrett can be a bit of a dweeb, but he's way cute... a cool nerd, but I'd never tell him that, and I'm not going to act pleased he wants to sit here either.

Garrett stops across from where I'm sitting and stands there licking his lips nervously. He clears his throat and does a fake cough, then meekly asks, "OK if I sit with you, Geoff?" Ignoring him doesn't discourage him, he merely continues babbling away, "I mean, ya know...I saw your homeboy Dajuan leaving and thought maybe you wouldn't mind me sitting with you... or something." As I'm wrapping what's left of my sandwich in a napkin and squeezing it into a ball I casually glance over at him and ask "What's that Garrett?" He goes, "Can I sit with you..?" Staring at him for a second, then asking "You get a new haircut or something... hey, what the fuck, is that suppose to look like my hair?" He starts to blush and, feeling bad for him now, I mumble, "Yeah, OK... have a fucking seat, Garrett. And, FYI... you don't need my permission to sit down, you can sit anywhere you want." He puts his tray down and says, "Thanks, Geoff. Theoretically you're right that I can sit where I choose, but the practicality of doing that is problematic. What I mean is, yes it's my right to sit anywhere except some guys will kick my ass if I sit at their table and since I don't want my ass kicked I don't sit there so I can't really sit just anywhere. You want my jello?" I make a face like, ya gotta be shitting me, and mutter, "What are all those words you just said suppose to mean?" he says, "Huh? Oh, you're kidding me, right? And, yeah, my hair... it's my new look. I got this haircut yesterday, do you like it? It's sorta like yours... um, I think it's cool..." Taking a deep exasperated breath I go, "It sucks!" but at the same time I'm thinking, I could eat this kid with a spoon... he's so fucking cute it's sick.

He's got strawberry blond hair that's now cut short, combed down on top and flipped up in front... combed like mine except my hair is light brown and straight. Garrett's got that almost translucent white, ultra clean-looking complexion... not a single blemish. Cute facial features, almost pretty... actually he looks like he's about about fourteen years old. He always finds some reason to talk with me too. Hmmm, if he's gay and I don't take advantage of this opportunity I'm sooooo dumb... well, on the other hand, maybe I don't need the hassle right now. Dajuan and I are doing outstanding buddy sex together which is about all I can see myself doing at the moment... except, oh my God, Garrett is cuter than my last two girlfriends put together, and he's got that one-hundred-percent boyish look about him too... pretty boy. Come to think of it, one of those girlfriends was kinda boyish looking herself... ha. Oh well, that was almost a year ago now. Garrett's a nervous talker, babbling on about God-only-knows-what. I watch his mouth for a few seconds, those little super-white teeth of his, nice bow-shaped lips, that pink tongue and the clear bubbly saliva at the corners of his mouth... yum! I gotta get a fucking grip here.

Reestablishing my last uplifting thought about High school being nearly over I wonder why I'd even consider complicating my life by getting involved with this wimpy boy. Ah, there I go being negative again, he's not so bad really... actually he's a sweet kid, just very non-aggressive. I hesitate to use the word submissive in Garrett's case because mostly that term is associated with sex... of course, if Garrett and I ever got into a sexual situation, whoa! Oh, forget about it already! Clearing my head of that long-shot thought I consider for a minute my best bud Dajuan's sexual submissiveness and how I don't mind him being submissive, not one bit... I love it. Yeah it's true he's submissive with sex, but the rest of the time Dajuan can be a complete terror... I'm totally cool with it though. Garrett's continuing to babble on about something and it's annoying, but his incessant talking isn't why I'm not nicer to him. Actually, I'm not sure why I'm not nicer, something about projecting my preferred image and something about this weird contradictory notion I have that he'd be less obsessed with me if I were more cordial towards him. Frankly, I'm still adjusting to the idea of liking boys the way I like girls, things can get a bit complicated at times like this.

In any case, Garrett's not really a problem, my major problem has to do with the fact that I don't belong in this school, I've never fit in here. Senior year should be the best high school experience of all, but instead I've spent the whole year feeling like a poor relative or the family embarrassment because I'm not from a rich family like all these other kids. Everyone knows everyones story too, so it's widely known I'm the poor boy living with his poor grandparents in the only shack in town. They know, but many of them put on this phony act pretended it doesn't matter... they pretend it's fine and dandy that I'm not of their economic social status, they pretend I'm accepted as a peer, but it's crap. In actuality, a lot of them are scared of me and others are jealous of me. Maybe jealous isn't quite the right word, envious is better... envious because I don't need to worry about keeping up appearances by having the coolest most up to date whatever-the-latest-thing-is... like they do. I only need to please myself. In their minds it's like I don't give a shit what others thinks of me but they're wrong because I do care, I'm just not in a position to do anything about it. I can't compete with them in their designer clothes, and their iphones, and their twenty-five hundred dollar Mac Book Pro Notebooks. I can't afford any of that shit so I pretend I don't want it, pretend it's stupid. I pretend what's convenient for me to pretend and do it acting like a hard-ass too... that's my thing. Of course there's lots of pretending going on by everyone in high school; it's not just me, but it's hard to lie to myself... I can't pretend to myself.

Actually a lot of my outward persona is an act... an act I've been perfecting over the years, one that helps me deal with most things but it doesn't serve me well in every situation. For example, it's gotten back to me through the grapevine that some of these spoiled rich kids snicker behind my back calling me trailer trash... they'd never say it to my face of course, and since I'm too embarrassed about it to confront the kids who allegedly said it, instead of my tough guy act, I pretend some more... I pretend I don't care what they say... I pretend it's beneath me, but it does hurt. It's hurtful because I did live in a trailer before moving in with my grandparents. Me and my mother lived in a trailer park off Route One in Peabody.... disgusting place, but when I lived there at least I wasn't out of place in Peabody High School. I fit in much better there. It wasn't perfect but I had friends there and some kids looked up to me. Admittedly, some were a little bit intimidated maybe because of my tough-guy act. Basically my problem is I lack self-confidence, my self image is fragile because of being poor and living in a trailer park and not having a car and needing to wear the same bland clothes very other day etc etc etc. To cover-up for those things I sometimes act like a prick or a bully. When I'm in an awkward situation I often over-react, come on too strong and get pissed-off. In Peabody I had a reputation for being a hothead, a thin-skinned kid with a bad temper who isn't afraid to fight... that'll intimidate some guys, most guys actually. I was trying to curb that part of my act and was making some progress until I had to move here. These kids are different from what I'm used to so I've been relying on my tough-guy act more and more. My best bud in this school is Dajuan Smith, he doesn't fit in here either, but for a different reason... his family is far from poor.

My other bro, Bruce Miller, isn't poor but he's had a touch of trouble with the law and that's his claim to being an outcast, actually he calls himself "the toxic outlaw"... he says trouble follows him wherever he goes. I haven't found that to be the case though, I find that Bruce himself is basically a follower who's attached himself to me for unspecified reasons. Maybe he's gay and his gaydar led him to me and Dajuan. Maybe, but if so he's kept it to himself. Anyway, no one has a fucking clue Dajuan and me are doing gay sex... how could anyone know? Noticing that Garrett has stopped talking I discontinue my daydreaming and look over at him which causes him to smile at me... what a great smile that kid has... beaming. Returning his smile with an agitated frown makes Garrett looks down quickly and take a hurried bite of his grilled cheese sandwich... what a wuss. I'm thinking about having a cigarette outside except it would probably hurt Garrett's feelings if I just leave him here by himself... so, holding out a dollar bill, I say, "Garrett, how bout getting me a small milk". He jumps up and says, "Sure thing, Geoff" and off he goes with me raising my eyebrows in surprise... his eagerness to please is astonishing.

Back to my daydreaming... Bruce Miller and I live in Dover, Massachusetts where the median income is a hundred and eighty thousand dollars a year, and that's after taking into consideration my grandparents income of twenty thousand a year. Grand dad work's part time as a bagger at the supermarket and also collects Social Security. I've never asked Bruce how his parents' income compares to the median... if his house is any indication though, they're way above it. Me and my grandparents live in a small ninety year old house, it's the same house my great-grandparents lived in when they were alive and it has the distinction of having the lowest appraised value of any house in the entire town of Dover... the very lowest, nothing else comes close. Grand Dad and Mom Mom pretend they're proud of that, actually brag about it for some misguided reason. They've turned-down a number of generous offers from neighbors to buy the place because the neighbors want to level it, bulldoze it. It's a run-down, five room eyesore in a neighborhood of million-dollar homes, million dollars and up, up, up... our place is like a turd floating in the punch bowl. I live with my grandparents because my father's dead, killed in the Iraq invasion, and my mother is unable to take care of herself... she lives from insurance check to insurance check on Seagrams VO. At least she did until she was institutionalized last summer and my grandparents took over my parental needs, such as they are. My bud Dajuan lives one town over in Sherborn which is a step down from the affulence of Dover, but not a big step. His family certainly qualifies as rich from my point of view. Bruce Miller has exiled himself from the main-stream student body of Dover/Sherborn high school, but Dajuan and I actually are legitimate outcasts... me because I'm poor white trash and Dajuan because he's the school's token African American. We gravitated to each other last Fall and became friends. Neither of us feels especially sorry for ourselves, these are the situations we find ourselves in and neither situation is going to change any time soon; he's going to stay black and I'm going to stay poor.

Dajuan's a closeted gay but I didn't discover that until we'd been friends for a couple of months. He fooled me about his gayness by being a very straight-acting gay boy. I'm not gay, by the way... I recently realized I'm bi though. Bisexuals aren't so rare maybe, but I'm the real deal. Many so-called bisexuals are actually homosexuals in denial. Not the case with me... at my old high school I had a number of steady girlfriends, one right after another. My last girlfriend liked to fuck and we were doing the nasty on a bi-weekly basis until I moved away... no pun intended with the bi-weekly comment. For a few months now I've been fucking Dajuan and I like it quite a lot, but I also enjoyed fucking Caroline back in Peabody too so I gotta believe I'm bi from that evidence alone. Hell, I've had girlfriends since middle school, girls think I'm cute and the guys I hung with in Peabody considered me a real hound dog for the babes back then... a chick magnet ya might say.

For real, it's totally shocking to me that I'm fucking a boy. It's weird how it all came down too. As I mentioned, Dajuan and me bonded last Fall and became close friends, close enough that he came out to me, told me he was gay. At that time I was still positive of my heterosexual nature, but was cool with him being gay. We were best buds, one gay and one straight... then, during the Winter break we got smashed at his family's Christmas party and somehow found ourselves drunkenly making-out in his bedroom. It had been eight months since I'd been with my girlfriend and I was horny as hell, but still... make-out with a guy?! My last girlfriend and I didn't break-up so much as we became geographically undesirable and, frankly, the rich girls here intimidate me... not that I let them know that. I act aloof to them because I couldn't bare the thought of being rejected. Anyway, that Christmas party night I really surprised myself with the make-out and then right afterwards I got very upset about it... ya know, frustrated and confused about why it happened. Dajuan's going, "Dude, it's N.C.M.O no big deal... calm down." and I'm like, "What the fuck is N.C.... whatever it was you said?" and he goes "It's non-committal making-out... we're drunk teens so it don't count." I'm like, "Oh... that's a relief". One thing led to another though and later I fucked him raw, oh my God did I cum hard! Never ever thought I'd fuck a dude, same for making-out with one, but I did both in Dajuan's room that night. What surprised me even more than doing it was how much I liked doing it... how much I liked the feel of a guy's tight body and how different it felt fucking an asshole rather than a cunt. I really liked being the top to another boy too, liked it big time. It's a very dominant feeling and it's one I've grown to enjoy more and more. Dajuan was the perfect sexual submissive for me to break my gay cherry with, just perfect because his submissiveness somehow allowed me to rationalize doing it. It was like the perfect storm, everything was exactly the way it had to be for me to let my true nature take over my previously straight inclinations. So, my true nature from now on is that of a bisexual, ain't I lucky! It wasn't long before I didn't need to rationalize fucking Dajuan all that much. I'm bi, what's the big deal about that?! Still, not wanting to confuse my grandparents I keep the gay stuff to myself. After almost four months I still get amazed when I find myself thinking gay thoughts... like when I was thinking how cute Garrett is just now.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't real open to the idea of me being bi at first. I've done a lot of thinking about my bisexual status, specifically about me fucking both sexes and how it's way different topping a boy compared to fucking a girl, different in more ways than just the feel on my dick I mean. With a girl the roles are totally dictated from necessity... she certainly can't fuck me, so I've got to be the one doing the fucking. Theoretically with gay sex either of the two boys involved could top, so who's it gonna be? I like it being me, I insist it be me, and I really get into a dominant frame of mind when doing it too, and you know, that actually doesn't really surprise me all that much. I say that because it's sort of how I approach life in general. I'm usually in your face, coming on too strong. For one thing I have a problem with authority figures, I'm always ready to put-out a lot of attitude when I have conflict with teachers, police, guidance counselors, class officers and so forth... a surly attitude because authority figures basically scare the shit out of me and I don't want them to know that... so, it's my cover to be aggressive. And then there's my history of being a bully to cover-up insecurities that my lack of self-confidence generates... you know, it all adds up to this: for reasons of self-confidence and self-image I need to be the dominant one, it's that simple. Hey, life can get confusing, and all this sex stuff is complicated too, my head gets screwed-up from trying to understand it all. Here's an example; I've been tinkering with this concept... am I subconsciously fucking all the rich kids in Dover-Sherborn High when I fuck Dajuan? Is that the reason I so easily slipped into gay sex with him? Am I showing them all who's the boss, showing them, through Dajuan, that all their money can't save them from getting fucked by "trailer-trash" me? See what I mean, subconscious motivation can be mind-blowing and mess with your head till you could scream.

But honestly, I hope I'm not fucking Dajuan to subconsciously prove anything because in my heart of hearts I truly believe he's a great best friend... it's a brotherly-love feeling between us rather than an "in love" feeling. I never had the in-love feeling with the girls I fucked either, although I don't know if that proves anything. Here's the way it is... Dajuan and I are tight buds and we just happen to also like playing gay sex roles... me the dominant top and Dajuan the submissive bottom. And oh yeah, he does oral sex on me too... he can really suck cock good, better than any girl who's ever done me. Overall Dajuan's very, very sexy and I'll be god-dammed if I don't get up for having sex with him. But like I said, we're not lovers. In fact Dajuan gets together with his old boyfriend, Walker Moss, whenever Walker's home on leave from the Army. They use condoms in sex because Dajuan doesn't trust Walker as far as he can throw him... and it also that means we can do "it" au naturale. Still, that's his real love... and Walker's totally dominant with Dajuan in their sexual relations too. So, it's Dajuan's nature to be submissive when he's being sexual, not just because of me. He's also into some kinky stuff with Walker which I don't get off on so Dajuan and I don't do it. There's one exception for the kinky stuff though, spanking. I spank Dajuan... he likes to be spanked. At first I wasn't too sure about the spanking thing but now I like doing it and I've been known to have a twitchy dick seeing how submissive that boy gets when I've spanked him good and hard.

After analyzing the sex act with both male and female I gotta admit I like the gay sex as much if not better than the hetero sex, that's the official gay part of my bisexual nature. The way I see it, I got the best of both worlds... in fact, once I get away from these rich kids I expect it'll be twice as easy getting a date now that I'm bi... you know, for me all the gay boys and all the girls are potential dates. Anyway, that's my situation pretty much and, right on time, here comes Garrett with my milk. He hands me the carton along with my dollar bill and proudly states, "I gotcha a large milk, Geoff... my treat." I grouse, "I don't fucking want a large one and I don't want you treating me to anything, got it!" He looks crushed so I feel bad again and, waving my hand like "forget about it", I grumpily add, "Oh, it's OK. Thanks... it's cool, it's all cool". God almighty, he's got those puppy dog eyes, eager for approval... it must be hard being Garrett. Now I'm getting frustrated all over again though because he's still standing there looking confused so I go, "I said it's fine, Garrett... now sit the fuck down and finish your lunch." He nods his head, sits down and takes a quick bite of his sandwich. Talking with his mouth full, he says, "Ah... I was kinda wondering, Geoff... um, don't yell at me, OK?... but do ya think... ummm..." and I snap at him, "What the fuck is it!?" He says real fast like, "Could I be one of the kids in your room on the Senior trip?" He stopped chewing to stare at me hopefully, looking so eager, so sincere. So that's why he came to my lunch table, this question was probably something he's been working-up the nerve to ask me for days, and you know what, I'd actually be quite happy having him share our room on the class trip, but I'm not about to let him know that.

Fact is, four kids are going to be assigned to each room in any case... seniors get to hook-up with their buds for roommates first off, so it's me, Dajuan and Bruce so far. Then, if we don't select a forth student for the room, a random kid gets assigned to us, we won't have any say in the matter. I grunt to Garrett, "Maybe... I'll give it some consideration, but don't get your hopes up". I was a bit surprised at how excited Garrett became when he heard the word "maybe". His eyes got real big, his startling blue eyes shining brightly behind the gunmetal frames of his John Lennon eyeglasses... eyeglasses that probably cost six hundred dollars. He says, "Oh, please, please, please say yes, Geoff! Everyone in this school sucks except you, you're not in any cliques and you stood-up to Mark Brumble for me that time while everyone else just kisses his ass. Please let me be in your room so I don't get assigned to some loser room with all dorks." I'm glancing around to see if anyone is hearing this... embarrassing. He's done his lunch and I've finished my milk so I say, "Calm the fuck down, and keep your voice down too. How about you get rid of my trash here and pick-up all that shit Dajuan left, then put our trays away, OK? I wanna grab a smoke before next class." I'm getting up from the table, Garrett's nodding his head enthusiastically. There isn't any question he'll do what I say which is actually kind of pathetic. I wonder again, what's it like being Garrett? As I'm walking away I say again, "Clean-up this shit and I'll think about it. Talk to ya later, dude". He says one last pathetic "Pleassssse, Geoff". Jesus, ya gotta like someone who's always brown-nosing you, ya know. He's alright, I'll tell the guys we got a forth for the trip, but I'll keep Garrett guessing for a bit longer...I don't want him to think I'm soft.

It's odd that in Garrett mind he's different than these other kids. He thinks he's not as good as them, or they don't like him, or some such crap. He's wrong, most of the other kids accept him. I see how he fits in with the social order of things; clothes, possessions, address, looks, etc. It's Garrett that doesn't like them, the establishment... he's rejecting them and he doesn't even realize it. Everyone's different of course, perception is everything. Actually, there are billions and billions of individual secret worlds going on simultaneously, one each for every brain in every person on the planet... all of us living in our most secret of secret worlds which only we know totally about, except we don't totally know our own world because so much of it's controlled by subconscious influences that we're unaware of. What the hell, I get wacky with this stuff... Dajuan's always saying, "Geoff, shut the fuck up with that shit, dude! You're giving me a mother-fucking headache, man. I love ya, but ya gotta knock that physiological shit off." He's right, I even give myself a headache trying unsuccessfully to figure it all out. Walking out of the cafeteria I defiantly stare-down a couple of kids from my class who I catch looking at me... probably making fun of my cargo khakis or my T-shirt because they're not name-brands or they're frayed or some such shit. Then I take one last glance back and see Garrett conscientiously dumping the table's trash, then stacking the trays. God, I feel bad for him... what a cute kid, and he doesn't even need to attach himself to me either, he could be one of these "in crowd" kids. He sees it differently some how... he's too nice too, guys like me take advantage of him. Wish I could make myself be nicer to him, but ya know... something tells me that wouldn't work out all that great for either of us.

No sooner do I step out the side door into the parking lot then Garrett's coming right up to me with his nervous giggle. He must have ran balls-to-the-wall right through the cafeteria after dumping our trash. Trying for casual he's saying, "I did what ya told me, have you had a chance to decide yet if I can room with you and your posse, Geoff?". In his enthusiastic romp to catch-up he bumps right into me. I say, "God dammit, Garrett!" and get him in a headlock, then muss his hair... it's so clean it feels like silk, his smell waifs up at me, a yummy boy smell. I'm noticing more and more of these types of things since I've acknowledge the homosexual side of me... more and more aspects of boys are becoming attractive to me... it's a growing force that's taking over more and more of my mind. Garrett's face is pressed against the side of my chest, his arm around my waist at the back. He has no chance of breaking free of course, I'm much bigger and stronger than him. Garrett's about five-foot seven so I've got three inches on him and I outweigh him by thirty-five pounds, at least. He's just a typical skinny teenager while I'm bulked-up from the weight lifting Dajuan and I do three afternoons a week. Garrett's muffled cries of, "I can't breath, Geoff" go by the wayside because if he can talk, he can breath... and to start with he's not even struggling to get out of my grasp, he's basically hugging me. Gotta admit I'm enjoying the feel of his body plastered against mine. To be a prick I say "Put your hand in my back pocket Garrett, I'll let you go then". His hand slips into my back pocket and presses against my ass. "Squeeze, Garrett.." he squeezes my ass and I loosen my hold of his neck saying, "Keep your hand there, my ass itches and I need you to scratch it" He sort of squeezes my buttocks, then rubs it while making excited wheezy noises through his teeth.

Letting go of his neck entirely now, but leaving my arm across his thin shoulders allows him to straighten-up... he's standing right next to me, his hand still in my back pocket, his bright red face almost glowing, eyeglasses eschew, short hair pointing in all directions, he says "Come on, Geoff... don't be like that". I say, "Scratch my ass, Garrett.." and he does, his face getting redder, I can almost feel the heat coming off of it. I rub his soft hair at the back of his head saying, "You like doing that, don'cha? You like feeling my ass, huh...?" He whines, "Nooooo.. that's just not right" as he scrunches his fingers grabbing a handful of my buttocks and massaging it inside my left back pocket. "Am I scratching the itch yet, Geoff?" My arm squeezes his shoulders a bit more and he sucks his bottom lip in between his teeth going "Mmmmmmm" laying his head against my shoulder.

Kids were milling around down by the old DPW building where we go to smoke, but no one was paying attention to Garrett and me so I reach over with my free hand and brush across his crotch... sure enough, he'd sprung himself a nice boner. Hot shit, I'll file this away for future reference. "Do ya got a Tootsie Roll in your jockey shorts, Garrett?" I asked rhetorically while goosing his groin. Then, getting his hard boner and balls in one big handful I massage them both... this kid has himself a major penis package here. He's flustered but won't get specific when he whines "Please, Geoff... don't" I squeeze and he does a long inhale going up on his toes "Sssssssssss... ahhhh". His cock gets even harder and now it might be longer than mine. "Feel good, ya homo?"I say sarcastically. He goes, "Nooo, don't, Geoff... ah, can I please take my hand out of your pocket now?" I'm feeling sorry for him, but I can't show him that so I goose him again getting a quiet moan from him this time, he's totally docile laying against me as I hold his ever stiffening boner through his Abercrombie & Fitch cargo khakis. Then, looking for a way out of this awkward situation, I say "You going to bump into me again, Garrett?" He shakes his head and drags-out "Nooooo waaaaay. I learned my lesson, Geoff. I'm sorry to be so clumsy." Reluctantly letting go off his package, I mumble "Good answer!" and his whole body seems to shiver as if he's just gotten some wonderful compliment. Giving his shoulder one last hug because, like I said, he feels good... I say "Ok, I believe ya". Looking at him up-close like this, he's so fucking cute I had a strong urge to kiss him on the lips. Yeah, but at the same time I'm also a little pissed-off that he's acting like such a pussy. Major conflicting feelings, but I say "OK, Garrett" and take my arm off his shoulder... he then slowly pulls his hand out of my back pocket, pressing the palm against my ass while doing it. He says, "Thanks, Geoff" which is so stupid, what's he thanking me for. His boner's pressing out the front of his pants so he gets both hands in his pockets trying to adjust his long pecker sideways. I watched his blush travel down his face and onto his neck... don't believe I've ever seen a redder blush. He's gulping and turning away from me... Jesus, what a piece of work!

It doesn't matter that I try not to, I feel bad for him again and wish I hadn't treated him so badly. His agreeable nature has me wanting to make-up for being such a prick so I say, "Just so ya know, Garrett, I'm thinking a lot more positively about you being the forth kid in our room for the senior trip and if...". He didn't let me finish, Garrett's so uninhibited, he has no sense of "face" he just goes, "Hooeee! Thanks, Geoff... you're so cool!" Looking around again, worried someone is watching or over hearing us, I go, "Yeah, yeah... I didn't say it's positively gonna happen, just that it probably will..." He looks like a little kid at Christmas and for some reason it made me angry that he's such a wuss so I snap out, "Dammit Garrett, look what fucking time it is! Now I can't have a cigarette and it's your fault... you dick!" We drift back inside and while pushing through the crowded corridor he's telling me how sorry he is and, believe it or not, that makes me feel like an even bigger prick which gets me even more pissed-off so I again snap at him, "Can't you fucking give me some breathing room... you're always all over me". He apologizes profusely looking like somebody just told him his dog died and we split-up at the intersection, him going right and me going left. Fuck! I'm feeling like a shit all over again! Why am I always treating him so badly? Maybe because I get so frustrated with him I can't help myself... I'm also vaguely aware that me being a prick to him has something to do with him being so openly infatuated with me, so it's weird... but... well, he did spring that boner while squeezing my ass, so there's that. Still, he's so vulnerable... I hated on myself all through Social Studies promising myself I'd be nicer to Garrett, although I probably won't be.

Finally I'm in my last class of the day, sitting in the back of the room minding my own business reading over last night's homework assignment when someone perkily says, "Hey, Gardner... got a second?" Looking up I see Lee Neeland, senior class vice president. His eyes are aqua, big and bright, and he seems always to have this natural look of permanent surprise, as if the world amazes him. I go, "Yeah?" Lee hesitated, perhaps thinking about how to say whatever it was he wanted to say. Other than those eyes of his, he's plain looking... average everything. I'm giving him my normal cold, unblinking stare wondering "what the fuck is it now?" For no apparent reason he smiles brightly, probably he's not understanding why I'm not more pleased to see him and he thinks a smile will bring me around. In any case I'm pretty sure understanding stuff isn't a big part of Lee's skill set. Purposely making him more uncomfortable I intensify my lack of interest in him by pursing my lips in an annoyed manner like 'get on with it dweeb' which causes Lee, who's struggling for nonchalance while inside he's probably full of insecurity, to fumble an explanation for the intrusion, "Ah, you see... our class, that is, the entire senior class... ah, the one we'll be graduating with... um, we're all donating, chipping-in as it were, ya know... for a class present to the high school". Awkwardly he tries handing me a pledge list, I do a double take before snatching it out of his hand. Students write their name on the list and next to that their pledge... a quick glance indicates no one has pledged less than fifty dollars and that's out of the question. God dammit! I only got one thing going for me now, act like a hard-ass.

Looking back to Lee with an irritated expression on my face, he pauses, then slowly continues his stuttering prepared pitch, "We all want a present we can be proud of... you know, to see our class year inscribed on it, you'd want that wouldn't you, ah... " looking at another list briefly, he finds my name and finishes his question "ah, Geoff?" I give him no response at all. He looks down at the list again to double check he's got the correct name, then says, "Geoff, we're hoping for the best senior class present ever and I'm......" He appears to be gaining confidence now that he's got my first name going for him, but that confidence evaporates when I interrupt his pitch to say, "No". This stopped him in his tracks for a few seconds, him staring open-mouth at me... me giving him my dead eye look. He says, "You mean you won't contribute anything... everyone else is, Clinton wants one hundred percent participation". Clinton is the senior class president. I again say, "No!" my eyes opening wide like 'what else ya got? This subject is closed...' He actually shows a touch of anger saying, "I can't believe you won't contribute" I say, "Try!..." Surprise is always on his face anyway so that left him without an appropriate facial expression, he turns and walks away mumbling, "Clinton is gonna be so upset..." This has been a bad year for me... I don't have, nor do I want to contribute, fifty dollars for this stupid senior class gift. OK, I know all I had to do was write down a ten dollar pledge which would fulfill the one hundred percent participation objective, but then everyone who saw the list would know I couldn't afford the normal pledge amount and there'd be more snickering as the word spread about trailer trash's ten dollar pledge ha ha ha! Fuck that! I hate this place so much. And believe me, I know all about 'insecurity inside' because that's pretty much me... all I've got going for me is my fake 'outside' appearance... at least now that I rejected contributing anything they'll think I'm an obstinate asshole rather than a poor boy who can only donate ten-fucking-measly dollars. Would I rather be one of the regular guys and put my name down with fifty dollars next to it?... yea I would, but I don't have fifty dollars. Lee's mumbling with some kids in the front of the room and a pretty girl looks back at me. My defiant gawk right back at her causes her to look startled and quickly turn back around... no one else has the balls to look back here. I feel sick to my stomach.

School is over for the day and my thoughts can turn to my best bud, Dajuan... and thank God for that. We'll do our lifting this afternoon and if this afternoon is like any other "lifting" afternoon, we'll do some fucking too... my attitude is definitely improving. Both of us will be hot and sweaty in the sauna after the workout, he'll strip and I'll spank his ass and then fuck it with him humming and cooing with pleasure... he loves getting fucked. My dick got firm just thinking about fucking that slim, hard bodied Dajuan Smith. Maybe I'm leaning more toward the gay part of my bisexual nature lately because I'm getting more comfortable with my bi-ness each passing day... or maybe, like I said earlier, the real reason I'm leaning to the gay side is because the rich girls in this fucking school intimidate the hell out of me and I camouflage that fact by calling them stuck-up cunts when in reality I'm afraid of rejection if I was to ask one of them out. And, at the same time I'm confident Dajuan will never reject my advances so it's him I concentrate on, and now I got Garrett to consider as well. So my concern is: am I taking the easy way out, is that it? Is it that I feel safer fucking a willing gay guy than taking a chance with the intimidating girls. Oh man, there I go again with the self analysis. I need to relax just a little bit and stop treating every incidence in my life like it's life or death... like it's a stare-down.

Dajuan was waiting for me in his car. The car's a recently new toy, an early graduation present from the rents, a silver 2010 MX-5 Miata with a retractable hard top and black leather interior. The top was down even though it's only about sixty degrees on this early day in April. First thing I say is, "Cool whip pocket rocket, Dajuan... your daddy must be rich". It's the same thing I said last week when he first got this new ride so he repeats what he said last week, he goes "Oh yeah, you got that right, he's been stacking cheese for years so he could lay this ride on me." I throw my tricked-out backpack in the truck of the car and get in the passenger side to say, "Don't give me that shit about how your daddy had to save his money to buy you this car... he flicked his AMEX card, pointed at this car in the showroom, and said "I'll take that one!" Dajuan laughs and says, "You make me laugh with that shit, Geoffrey. But you forgot the "fucking" part. Last week it was "I'll take that fucking one!" And anyway, I know you poor white boys are never gonna stop bitching about us blacks movin on up..." The car's heater was turned up which helped, but when Dajuan stepped on the gas the sixty degree air got to feeling significantly cooler. I asked, "Why'd Rockwell page you in the cafeteria, dude?" It turns out to be a total fuck-up, it wasn't Dajuan the vice principal needed to see, but rather Juan Smitzez and the names confused Mr Rockwell's assistant. Didn't surprise me that it was a screw-up because Dajuan's a B+ student in good standing at school. OK, he doesn't participate in any high school activities or sports, but he also never gets in trouble. "Let's hit Burger King first, what do ya say, Geoff... I never finished my lunch." When Dajuan says something that you might think requires your approval, don't think that. What he was really saying is more definitive... he was telling me what we're going to do. I'm cool with that cause I know when we take our pants off he does a one hundred eighty degree turn around and becomes a submissive little boy which of course has all kinds of physiological implications, none of which we've been able to figure out. After discussing it a number of times we just accept and enjoy it now. Other than sex we have an understanding that neither of us is openly dominant to the other, we sort of take turns but I got a feeling if push came to shove he'd cave-in. Initially we were butting heads, but quickly came to an agreement that no one bosses the other on any kind of a regular basis, except when sex is involved... it's working good so far.

Looking over at Dajaun I notice his hair blowing backward in the wind and think about mussing Garrett's hair earlier. Dajuan's hair is certainly different than Garrett's, but it's ultra swav in it's own way. Like many African American boys Dajuan has beautiful naturally curly, silky hair... his is dark brown though, not black. It's fairly long, maybe six inches all over his head, but not an Afro... soft curls with a part in the middle, no bangs. When I'm fucking him I'll sometimes have two fistfuls of his awesome soft-textured mane pulling him backward onto my boner. In middle school he wore his hair in tight braids, it was actually a ponytail of braids... that was cool too. I didn't know him in middle school of course, but there are pictures of him and his incredibly hot younger brother all over their house. The hair goes perfectly with his skin tone. Dajuan's got a lot of pheomelanin in his skin allowing for his lighter milk-chocolate skin tone, it's actually between a mild brown and caramel color, a dreamy complexion... perfect skin. Very bright almond-brown eyes with fine-haired eyebrows and eyelashes. Full luscious lips, a medium size European style nose with a cute ski slope at the bridge and a normal boy's chin. I think he's beautiful although I still can't get used to having thoughts like that about a boy. His body is slim/skinny but he's as tough as suspension bridge cables... a very strong six foot tall kid and, like I said, we work out regularly so the muscle isn't just a result of inheriting the right genes, although there's certainly some of that... his father's a retired NBA point guard. Mr Smith never was a starter, always came off the bench but still had himself a nice ten year career with the Boston Celtics. Now he's a big deal in some kind of sales position. Anyway, Dajuan has that beautiful hair on his head, a normal amount of curly pubic hair, and a small amount of the same under each arm, but that's it... the rest of his skin, all over his body, is basically hairless... he's awesome. Truth is, he could be as popular as anyone in our senior class if he chose to be, but he chooses, like Bruce, and I guess I need to include Garrett, to believe he's an outcast. So, Dajuan, Bruce, and I are the three outlaw/outcasts in the Dover/Sherborn high school, in our eyes we are anyway... I don't know exactly how to classify Garrett.

Dajuan's driving us up route 27 so I'm like, "We gonna slum it at Natick's Burger King?" he chuckles and says, "A boy from Peabody saying Natick is slumming it? That's out-fucking-rageous!" We park at Berger King, then we're standing on line inside and I'm behind Dajuan looking at his awesome ass when I hear a snicker... looking up I see a couple of girls in the next line watching me looking at Dajuan's ass. A hot flash of anger hits me for three reasons, one... it's always something happening to irritate me, two... a few months ago I'd be looking at their asses instead of my friend's ass, and three... I don't like being snickered at. Ya might say I got a bit of a chip on my shoulder, maybe I'm a tad paranoid too. I glare back at the two girls, my lip curled, and one of them, the one with the big nose says, in a very smart-ass manner, "You got a problem...?" I go, "Not until you opened your fat mouth I didn't, now you're my problem...." Dajuan turns his head, he has one of the coolest dead-eye scary looks you'll ever see. He waits a beat or two to get them to look at him, then says, "Fuck off, bee-itch!" She gives him the finger and snarls, "Don't call me a bitch, you...." and I could tell she wanted to say a racial slur but held back, the guy at the counter says, "What can I get for ya...?" so Dajuan turns his back on the girls to place his order, the girl Dajuan called a bitch gives me the finger now and mumbles, "Faggot..." she probably doesn't really think I am, it's just what us teens call each other. If you're a guy, the problem with getting into an argument with girls is you can't win. They can use all the vulgarity a guy uses, plus insult you with racial slurs or call you a queer and even challenge you physically, but what are ya gonna do, get in a fist fight with a girl? I've seen some girls that might win a few fist fights too, but the point is, even if you kick their ass it's still not cool cause you beat-up a girl. So, avoiding a fight with a girl made sense. There used to be a noticeable difference between girls' and boys' behavior but that changed years and years ago with woman's lib in the sixties or whenever the fuck it happened... women's lib empowered them and emasculated males, basically.

You'd have to say the bitch won the war of words cause what am I going to do, call her a lesbo? Shit, Dajuan and I were pissed-off but we know enough about how things work to ignore something like this whenever possible... verbally it's a no win situation. A little later, after eating our cheeseburgers, we're outside the restaurant smoking... not talking, just looking cool while we smoked our Marlboros. Then around the corner of the building the same two girls show-up, this time with a couple of guys. Even though Natick is one town over from where Dajuan lives neither of us has seen any of these kids before. One of the boys, the one with blond hair buzzed close, a big nose on his round face, and biceps that bulged his jacket's sleeves, says, "One of you assholes called my sister a bitch, and that's not how we act in Natick." I say, "Yeah, yeah... my goonie right here next to me called you're sister a bitch, but I'll give ya a little advise... ya don't want to bother my boy with that nonsense right now. The whole ugly incident affected his enjoyment of his cheeseburger". Then, nodding at the building as I'm talking, "Ruining someone's cheeseburger... it's a terrible thing!" all four of them stupidly look over at Berger King, so I wait for them to look back at me and add "He's hulking-out at the moment and that usually leads to somebody getting their teeth knocked down their fucking throat, ya know?" Blondie has this puzzled expression on his face, looks over at his partner who's not as big as blondie and maybe a tad on the chubby side, then glances at the two girls who have that look like "you two are gonna get it now" meaning me and Dajuan. The big blond guy says, "Huh? What the fucks all that mean...?" I arrogantly smirk back at him as Dajuan flicks his cigarette butt over the head of the chubby lad and in a surly manner says, "Ain't my homeboy here hecka cool!" and he stares challengingly at the blond kid who's starting to realize he might be in for more trouble than he was anticipating here, the girls are losing some of that "you two are gonna get it now" look too. Dajuan's skinny and I'm just a little above average size, we're not in the same weight category as these two boys from Natick. That being the case, these guys, particularly the big buzzcut blond, thought they'd come on strong and scare us into peeing our pants. Now, however, they're realizing we aren't worried about them one bit, which makes them worried about us. I go, "Truth is, that sister of yours is sketchy." They look at each other and Dajuan says, "that means she's a troublemaker ... you think it's OK to be a troublemaker?" and he takes a step toward that little group with me by his side. The chubby boy stammers, "Na, no, no were not, that is, no one's a troublemaker here... we just don't want you calling my friend's sister a bitch, that's all." He said it squeezing the words out, his face flush, a gulp at the end. I say, "Yeah, I don't blame ya, but the two of us here... well, we don't much give a shit what you want. Plus my bud is right, your friend's sister is a bitch... now the question remains, what are you gonna do about it..."

Well, the football player couldn't lose this much face so he tries to sucker punch Dajuan who sidesteps the punch and gets blondie right in that big nose of his with a short powerful jab that has blood spurting all over the place. You could hear the cartilage break on contact, there's lots of blood in the facial area anyway, and in particular the nose. The sister screams, "You black motherfucker!" and jumps at Dajuan with her fingernails bared. Dajuan calmly does exactly the same thing to her, with exactly the same results... blood rolling through their fingers as the brother/sister combo hold their respective big noses, yelling and screaming curse words. I'm juiced-up and ready to go though, adrenaline flowing, so I yell at the chubby fellow and the other girl, both of whom are white as a ghost by now, "You two assholes got anything to say?" the girl gives me the finger, that's apparently the first reaction these two girls have for any and all confrontations. I stepped toward her and she mumbles, "No..." and gets behind chubbo who starts backing up. Dajuan's satisfied that enough is enough though, he says to me "Let's bounce, Geoff, what do ya say... po po will be on the way". Hearing all the yelling Burger King patrons are looking out the window and seeing the blood someone will call the police so we turn our back on the bloodied group and walk away. We're almost to our car before we hear a barrage of curse words with plenty of the N word and the F word, meaning faggot, but we'd made our point and I learned something from Dajuan in the process... you actually can win a fight with a girl, a girl who acts like a boy that is... you just treat her like the boy she apparently wants to be. As we drove away I had that sick feeling from adrenaline overflow. Dajuan's shaking his head because this type of incident isn't fun for us, but we're not big on taking a pile of shit from punks either, so what are ya gonna do? Obviously this episode didn't have anything to do with me being poor, but the racial thing showed it's ugly head, don't it always.

"How's your fist, Dajuan? You really nailed those a-holes" He says, "Sore, but not broken... I would have loved kicking the shit out of all of them, but we're not like that... you and me are better than that, ain't we?" I say, "Ain't, ain't in the dictionary" and he goes, "Is too..." and I go, "Yeah, I know..." We were done with the fight, such as it was. We've been in two other fights, which certainly isn't that many when everything's considered, no fight's ever been any easier than this one though. Why do I have so many confrontations though, amazing. Driving up to Dajuan's house always has me shaking my head in amazement too. It's a six year old eleven room Colonial with five bedrooms, four full baths and two half baths. There's a library, a family room, an eat-in kitchen with a fireplace, sunroom with a vaulted ceiling, and the regular dining room/living room combo both with wood-burning fireplaces. Granite in the kitchen and all the bathrooms, ten foot high ceilings throughout ... this big brick-front house sits on two acres of land, a hundred feet back from the road. Yep, all those rooms are great, but my favorite spot is the finished basement with pool table and ping pong table in the game/media room, then through the next door is the in-house gym, sauna, and shower where Dajuan and I work-out. It's always just the two of us working out, his sixteen year old brother has no interest in the gym and our bud Bruce has a chronic back problem compliments of a motorcycle accident last year, and Mr Smith works- out in the early morning... we got the place to ourselves in the afternoon. The sauna is located at the back of the gym next to the shower/lavatory... it's a six person cedar dry sauna with temperatures up to two-hundred-fifty degree Fahrenheit... we usually crank it to around two hundred degrees. The free weights are part of the Powerline Smith Gym, no relation to Dajuan Smith. It has the flat or incline/decline features, pec and curl stations, leg developer and lat row station. That's all against the wall on the left. Across from it, on the right hand wall, is the Stex 8025T Treadmill which cost sixty-five hundred dollars, and next to that is the Octane Q47CE Elliptical trainer which we never use, I don't know how much that cost. It's a pretty comprehensive home gym. Mostly we use the weight stations and the treadmill... then the sauna... then the sex.

In the early days Dajuan's and my sexual encounters shocked me every time we did it, shocked me that I could and did do sex with another boy. There was a lot of self doubt and even recrimination about participating in homosexual acts but it felt so good when I was doing it I couldn't make myself stop. As I said, it helped early on that Dajuan was so submissive because that allowed me to con myself into thinking I was basically continuing my het role of topping, of fucking like real macho males do. OK, it is fucking another boy but I'm at least in the male role. Dajuan doesn't need to bother with rationalizing anything because he's honest with himself and admits he's gay and admits he loves being fucked and loves sucking cock... so he's cool with it all. On the other hand, he's not cool enough with it that he's willing to come out and tell the world he's gay, so there's that. As I've mentioned, it only became obvious to me recently that I was bi. Prior to that I couldn't even conceive of the possibility... the thought that I'd be aroused to climax while having sex with another boy was unthinkable, now I'm totally down with it. I not only admit to myself I'm bi, I admit I like being bi. Is it possible that I'd never have discovered this side of me if I continued living in Peabody, dating girls and living that life... forever? Whatever, now I'm glad for this gay experience and I'm open to others if everything is just right. So, basically my high school senior year experience is trashed, but I've discovered the delights of gay sex so maybe I'm breaking even for the year over all. I'll tell ya something else too, making-out with Dajuan is so awesome... his lips, his skin, his deep breathing and the endless feel and sounds of heat and pleasure, it really turns me on.

We're pulling into Dajuan's spot in the three car garage, he says "Why so quiet Gardner?" I say, "Just thinking about you and me in the sauna later this afternoon, and you know what, I need to thank you again for introducing me to all this gay stuff, Smith... it rocks". He chuckles because he knows I don't like being called by my last name. He goes, "Your welcome, Gardner" and pinches my ear. I shake my head and give him an annoyed look, then say "You're gonna get an extra spanking for that" and he goes, "Hope you mean that, Gardner!" God, he's so good looking... we laugh getting out of the car because we're both excited about what's coming... we love the workout, and the sex after. But, ain't it weird the things that turn us on... different things for different people. Like Dajuan with the spanking and the submissive role playing. How many fetishes are there I wonder. Spanking is definitely one, and it's the only one we deal with unless you consider the sub/dom thing a fetish, but how many others are there... hundreds? I wonder if you can talk yourself into a fetish, probably not. You probably need to come by it in some subconscious way... I'd like to try having one but I don't know what it would be. Then I think of my freshman year when Jack Cook and I accidentally got our feet tangled up in gym. It was while we were getting undressed, his bare foot landed on mine and it gave me a start, the feel of his foot made my balls tingle. The two of us had this goofy look on our faces as he rubbed his foot on mine, then I rubbed my foot on his. It went on all year and got so, when we were alone, we'd rub the bottom of our feet up the other guy's leg and even into each other's crotch... And, oh yeah... we had boners too, but I never thought of it as gay and we never took it any further than playing footsie in gym. It stopped at the end of the school year because that was the last time we had gym together. I remember thinking how odd it was and for a while afterward I was into smelling my own shoes, the inside of them. I almost got caught smelling the inside of a kid's sneakers at the YMCA that summer... the urge petered-out over the summer though and I haven't thought of it for almost two years. Now though, the memory of that makes me wonder what Dajuan's feet smell like. Maybe I got a head-start on a fetish after all.

We enter the basement through the ground level entrance at the back of the house. His mother's at school watching Dajuan's brother's baseball game; the brother, Jamal, is a center fielder. Right inside the basement entrance is the game room and we shoot a few pool shots... then, walking around the ping pong table, through another door and we're in the gym. Pulling our shirts over our heads as we're walking, we exercise in gym shorts, jock straps, and sneakers only. Stepping out of our jeans and pulling down our boxer shorts we check each other out. I'm looking at his feet as Dajuan's saying, "Can I have a taste of your dick, Geoffrey?" He's already slipping into his submissive role, but it's gets much more pronounced during actual sex. We're both naked... his body is really something to see although by now I'm almost taking it for granted from seeing it so often. I point at the floor and say, "On your knees first, then ask me..." His facial appearance is different from normal, he averts his eyes and says, "Oh yeah, sorry..." and, as he's getting on his knees right in front of me I'm thinking that he sounded a little like Garrett, the way Garrett's whine sounded after lunch. They both definitely have a deferential way of speaking to me... Garrett all the time, Dajuan when he's in his submissive role for sex.

Dajuan looks up and says, "Please may I suck your penis?" I can see his brownish cock firming-up just from being submissive to me. I nod my head and, looking up at me he gently lifts my six inches of uncut cock and licks from the bottom of my nuts up to the head of my cock and then sucks it into his mouth... his eyes close and his shoulders shudder, he murmurs "Hmmmmmm" while sucking and then lapping under the foreskin with the tip of his pink tongue. It feels good to have your cock sucked. Looking over his head I stare at the soles of his feet while grabbing large fistfuls of his fantastic mane of hair, the soles of his feet are lighter than his calves. My attention is quickly back to how good my cock feels, Dajuan sucks and licks it into a boner, only takes about a minute, then I say, "Nuts now, Dajuan" as I'm concentrate on the blowjob now. Out of his mouth comes my cock, he laps my nuts with my semi-hard, saliva-drenched boner flopping around on his face. One at a time he licks my nuts, then sucks them inside his mouth to hum on them and tongue them till my boner is vibrating at maximum hardness. His cock is as hard as mine, him stroking it lazily with one hand, his other hand on my buttocks with the tip of his index finger probing my asshole. We're doing the sexual hors d'oeuvre now, thats all. When he pokes his finger inside my ass I feel my balls start tingling so I say, "That's it, Dajuan... back off.." There's pink at both his cheeks showing through his skin tone, he's very aroused. Sitting back on his ankles, saliva on his chin he looks up at me for instructions and although I shouldn't, I can't help breaking out of my role to smile at him. I really do have sincere affection for him and not just as a great sex buddy, as a great friend too. I lean down and kiss his puffy, wet lips and his tongue comes inside my mouth... like I said, Dajuan is a sexy boy. We kiss for about thirty seconds and then, with my dick head feeling like it's going to start dropping drips of precum any second I pull away from the kiss and say, "Good God, you're really hot today, Dajuan... was it the fight?" He's smiling, getting back to being himself a little more and says, "Yeah, that plus I love your white cock!" He gets up on his feet now, much more like himself.. we hug and I say in his ear, "I still can't hardly believe I'm doing this stuff with you, with a guy." He goes, "And I can hardly believe I got a fuck buddy that's as hot as you... and like I'm always telling ya, you're the cutest boy I've ever been with. I love the way you white boys smell too..." He runs his fingers through my short hair mumbling, "and your hair's so soft and your cock's so hard and your body's so sexy!" I take a big breath saying, "What if I missed out on all this, what if I never met you?" He says, "Aw, you'd find me somehow, you addicted to my black ass, it's that simple. Can we start our workout...?"

Over the weeks we've developed a little game before starting the workout where Dajuan puts on the unwashed jockstrap I wore during our last workout, I wear a clean one... it's part of the dom/sub game. He pulls on my used jockstrap, stiff with dried perspiration and adjust his package inside it. Making a face at me like... ewww, gets us chuckling. The items we wear... jockstraps, gym shorts, socks, and sneakers are all Dajuan's... the stuff gets washed in between exercise days except for my sweaty jockstrap. The only other items we put on are sweatbands, both head and wrist. Every workout follows the same routine pretty much. The thing about exercising is that to get your body looking good you first need to have low body fat, especially for the abs and the so-called six pack. If someone on the fat side is working on his biceps, for example, he won't see the results of his lifting because the bicep muscles will develop under the fat. Low body fat is largely diet and gene controlled, but cardio exercises like treadmill workouts or jogging will reduce your body fat as well. Dajuan has everything going for him... his body is fantastic to start with so he's obviously got the right genes, he does lots of cardio exercises, plus abs exercises like crunches, sit-ups, weighted leg raises etc, and keeps junk food to a minimum with an occasional cheeseburger being the most common exception. As a result of all that his abdominal muscles are prevalent and his waist is narrow. He has the desirable V shape torso which travels up from a narrow waist to wide shoulders... mostly he was born with it, but the exercises accentuate nature's gifts. Without being too pronounced his pecs are special too. The pectoral muscle under his nipples are enhanced by doing bar bell bench presses which we both do a lot of. Biceps building is done with curls which we also do a lot of, and the triceps are strengthened by exercising at the parallel dip station. We also do exercises for the obliques on either side of the abs as well as exercises for leg muscles although primarily the treadmill does a lot for the legs. My body lacks the elegance of Dajuan's, it's more bulky rather than angular like his. And, even though I'm two inches shorter, I weight ten pounds more than Dajuan... we're pretty much equal as far as strength goes though and we're always pushing each other to do better. All in all we exercise for over an hour and when were done our bodies shine with perspiration. We keep hydrated with bottled water all during the exercises, of course... it feels so great to workout, especially with your buddy.

Dajuan's taking deep breaths just off the treadmill, a drop of perspiration ready to drop off the end of his perfect nose. I wet my lips looking at his hot body. It would have been a crime if I went through my life without ever recognizing the boyish beauty some guys possess.... Dajuan's a perfect example. The beautiful color of his skin, the muscle definition in his lean hard body, his long hairless legs, and his heaving chest with those small nipples that I've come to enjoy sucking. We look into each each other's eyes knowing what's coming. After a minute I nod at Dajuan and he gropes his crotch waiting for my orders. I growl, "Take off your sweatbands." He slowly does that, staring at me... his breathing changing to puffs of short little breaths. I tell him, "Get naked" after which, "Come here" as I'm pointing to a spot right in front of me. Naked now he comes to stand where I pointed, "Keep your hands at your side" as I'm putting my fingers in his thick curly damp hair. I like this part when he's docile and I can do what I like with him. I massage his scalp staring at his handsome face, then feel his sweaty body with the palms of my hand, feel all around reaching back to his buttocks to squeeze and fondly those firm plump bubble butts which are the only "plump" parts on his entire body. Slowly feeling along his sides with both hands I move my face to his and rub my nose against his, his eyes look down and I kiss his sexy lips, my tongue going under his top lip after the kiss, it runs along his teeth and gums. Dajuan moans when I take his firming penis in my fist and stroke it, my other hand grabs a fistful of his hair, pulling his head back. Letting go of his dick and grabbing his nuts for a firm squeeze and he mumbles, "Oh yeaah" so I squeeze harder pulling his head to mine to push my tongue in between his teeth and lick his tongue in all it's pinkness. Giving his nuts another squeeze he moans into my mouth with a long "Mmmmmm" and another squeeze has him going up on his toes, the pain and pleasure of it making him grunt. I let go of his nuts, our faces slide together still partially wet with our sweat which mingles as our tongues lick one another. I've never once enjoyed making-out with a girl as much as I enjoy making out with Dajuan. Back to French kissing, my own dick hard now as I lean against him, our boners between both bellies... my lips kissed by those sexy lips of Dajuan, then the hottest make-out sensation of all, him sucking one of my lips in between his.

Feeling the wetness of precum on my belly I gently pull away to look into his eyes, then lean back in to him for another taste of his lips before saying, "Sit on the lifting bench" he looks puzzled but sits on the bench. As our boners slowly lose their total hardness I take off my sneakers, his are already off, and put my foot on his. Not feeling any special sensations I pull off my sock and run my bare foot over his... it's nice. I rub my foot on his leg, then put it right on his firm cock, my big toe in his bush. He's staring at my foot, mesmerized by this totally unexpected development... me too. Lifting his leg with both hands under his calf I pull it up far enough that I can lean down to smell it and yes, there is definitely a foot odor, not a bad odor, sexy. There's the tingle in my nuts too... OK, this is interesting and needs more research but right now we need to get to the regular stuff. I drop his foot and say "I'll explain later, for now... turn on the sauna, then get the special lube..." I'm a bit on the breathless side, so is Dajaun when he asks hopefully, "Should I get the ping pong paddle too, Geoffrey?" I go "OK, we'll do the ping pong spanking as a favor to you..." He looks nervous and excited at the same time, also a little confused about the foot thing, but hurries into the game room to do what he's told, his semi-boner bobbing in front of him. Dajuan's penis is cut but it was a very neat circumcision and he has a fabulous looking appendage between those long legs of his. His penis is straight, proportionate as to length and circumference, and has no unsightly veins... it can get so hard at times it sticks straight out from his groin looking longer than it's actual six-and-a-half-inche length. Big balls under that great cock reside in an almost hairless sac... it's difficult for me to imagine a sexier or more attractive body from head to toe than Dajuan's. Dropping my shorts and stepping out of my jockstrap, which I set aside for Dajuan to wear later this week, I head for the sauna.

My cock has lost a lot of it's hardon so I stroke it while walking inside the sauna, then, totally bare-assed, I sit on one of the benches and watch Dajuan. He comes in and timidly hands me the ping-pong paddle, then bends down to adjust the sauna's temperature gage and I whack his left buttocks with the paddle, "SMACK" ... He goes, "Owwww, ohhh" and I swat the same ass cheek again "SMACK!!" Dajuan strokes his cock hissing through his teeth "Ssssshhhhhh" but he stays in the same position hoping for another one. Those two smacks were just a warm-up for his full spanking a bit later. It's hard to understand why being spanked is a sexual turn-on for him, but it truely is. And now I got this foot thing to contemplate, the further I explore my gay side the more and more surprises I find. I say, "Set the temperature and get us a towel for the massage table". He's breathing deeply as he quietly says, "Yes, Geoffrey. Thank you for the spanking, may I have another, please" so I stand-up to swing the paddle around ending in an upward arc and really get an uplifting whack on the same cheek "SMACKKK!!" pulling the skin of his ass cheek upward with the paddle and he yelps out "Owwww! Fuck it!!" but I know from past experience it's what he needs. Rubbing his smacked ass with both hands he goes for the large fluffy towel, his cock harder than ever. My dick stirred with that last whack of his ass. I'm totally fascinated that I'm here doing this with him, I'm fascinated at the degree of pleasure he gets from me spanking his ass, I'm fascinated with the thrill I feel at Dajuan's submissiveness and at my dominance over him, and lastly I'm fascinated most of all at the heights of pleasure I reach when fucking him... having sex with another boy, who would have thunk it? It's overwhelming, impossible for me to articulate the anticipation I'm feeling at this moment, I'm in an extremely excited and erotic state of mind.

He's back with the towel and now that the sauna's door is closed the temperature is rising quickly, sweat's already breaking out on my forehead. Dajuan spreads the towel over the massage table where I'll be fucking him shortly and, keeping his head down, he brings over a padded folding chair and opens it up for me to sit on during his spanking. Last thing he needs to do is turn on the music... during the spanking we've been playing that hot rock song "Fugitive" by David Gray. Very cool sound although the words don't make a lotta sense if you just read them... sung hot and fast by David though, it really rocks! "Gotta live!" The song's on a loop and it'll play a couple of times during the spanking, then we'll let it run-out while we're fucking. As I'm getting up off the bench I say, "Over here now, boy... stand straight, eyes down, arms at your side..." Dajuan immediately gets in position and like earlier I take ownership of his body... feeling it, grabbing parts to squeeze, touching here and there, pinching his small nipples... doing whatever I feel like doing with him. I grab a fistful of his hair first, then yank his head up so I can kiss him again. Dajuan's completely docile... a moan slips from his throat as I kiss those sexy lips of his. He's so hot I wrap my arms around his back and plaster my naked self against him and, up on my toes, I grind my crotch into his... he's two inches taller than me but on my toes our cocks are right against one another, his is hard as a rock and mine quickly getting there. My face is against his, our bodies are sweating in the heat of the sauna, our nipples squishing together as I grind against him... another moan and more precum wetness so I loosen my hold on him and take a deep breath. Leaning in and down to lick his left nipple, his body shudders from my pinch of one nipple, licking and sucking the other.... another moan from Dajuan, goose bumps breaking-out on his arms. Back to kissing his lips... how can it be that I'm so taken with this boy when I went through almost eighteen years never thinking a single sexy thought about another boy, now I can't get enough.

Letting go of him completely, feeling slightly dizzy... sucking down some air I sit on the chair and say, "Lay across my lap you bad boy, you're gonna get a hard spanking..." A funny breathy, excited noise from Dajuan as he quickly arranges himself across my lap, his crotch on top of mine, our boners pointing toward his chest. It feels so good I need to bite my lip suppressing a moan of my own. He's tall enough, of course, that his hands and feet are resting on the floor. I smack his ass with my bare hand in the beginning because I like the feel of his plump buttocks. "Smack, smack, smack, smack... quick and stinging smacks. The harder I spank him the more docile Dajuan becomes... I can easily readjust his position if he starts to slide on my lap as he complies completely to my instructions. It's like he melds into my thighs making little submissive "Oh" sounds with each smack on his ass. When the spanking turns the "Oh"s into grunts from Dajuan I let up for a bit, give the spanking a rest and work my finger inside his hole instead. He's going, "Ohhh, God... Ahhh..." I'm finger fucking him to help with preliminary expanding of the hot tunnel of love... well, maybe not love as much as desire. Dajuan humping up into my finger, my lap dripping wet with his precum and sweat.

Then the paddle, "You ready for your paddle-spanking, Dajuan?" In his baby boy's voice he's like, "Yes, Geoffie, I've been so naughty, please paddle my bum till it glows". "SMACKKKK! "AH!" And I quickly get into a rhythm, this is the time I can feel myself getting near the edge of arousal. It has something to do with the fact Dajuan could easily get off my lap, but he doesn't, he remains obediently docile and actually gets even more submissive by leaning in towards me rather than away from me. "SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! four quick whacks on the same buttocks and it gets red immediately... more precum from Dajuan as he groans with the stinging from the paddle's slicing spanks. It's impossible for me not to feel the dominance spanking this submissive boy brings on... I'm soon biting my bottom lip at the thrill of it. Like the soles of his feet, Dajuan's buttocks are lighter in color than the rest of him and they get quite red when spanked... that's what I go by, the redness... when it's bright red, before it's glowing, I stop. The whack, whack, whack, of the paddle stings like bumble bees sting and Dajuan makes all kinds of whining sounds during the latter portion of the spanking... now he's squirming on my lap, which along with his back is slippery with sweat. When he begins writhing and moaning and going "OW..OW ..OW-OW-OW!!" I'm aroused by it. It's a feeling of power, of complete dominance, and I'm totally feeling the sexual nature of it... not nearly to the degree Dajuan feels it, but I feel it. The paddle flies through the air landing with a loud "SMACK!" on his ass, then again on the other cheek, then the next is a quick "SMACK SMACK!!" but lower, at the top of his thigh, and he squirms, crying out "OWW!, GOD DAMMIT!" But he's never asked me to stop, and when I do stop he's never asked me to continue either, not from a full-fledged spanking that is. When his cries of pain sound too real I make the decision to stop... his ass and, to a lesser degree, the back of his thighs are shiny red. He lays there breathing hard and groaning from the pain of a hard spanking, but his cock never lost a drop of it's hardness throughout. I ask, "Have you learned your lesson? You going to be a good boy now?" In a little boy's voice he says "Yes, Geoffrey... I'll be good". It's all part of the role playing which I felt silly doing at first but Dajuan insisted so now I just say the words without thinking too much about them.

Now that I've stopped spanking him he's moving back and forth on my lap getting pressure on his boner between his belly and my boner and thighs. I'm rubbing his buttocks gently with baby oil, which is the special lube we've been using. This generic baby oil has no oder and serves two purposes... one, it eases the stinging from the spanking and two, it eases entry into his asshole. After calming the stinging on his reddish buttocks I push the oil inside his hole and finger fuck him again. He's soon going "Mmmmmm nice... Ahhhh" until I demand, "OK, get over to the massage table, lay on your back today..." "Yes, Geoffrey... that was an awesome spanking, thank you for that.." "Get on the table, Dajuan. No talking." He lies on his back pretending to pout because he's been admonished to keep quiet. "Legs up... spread em' now". His asshole is at the edge of the massage table, his legs are up, bent at the knee, spread wide open. I walk up between his legs and without any hesitation grab the front of both his thighs for leverage and ram my bone-hard cock all the way up his ass "Aghhhhhhhh" goes Dajuan as I'm withdrawing all the way out and immediately ramming it right back in past his sphincter muscle again... then twice more "Fuck me, please fuck me..." from Dajuan in a gasping submissive, begging manner. A smack on his tender ass, "No talking.." a whimper from Dajuan, then I'm all the way up inside him again... his hole is tight, very tight but it's giving-in to my cock and expanding just right. Tight all around my boner but still with enough give that the thrusts slide in OK. I push up steadily this time, hump his hole a few times to be sure he's accepting my cock, then one last time in... Jesus, that feels good... leaving it way up inside him as Dajuans is slowly letting air out through the small "O" he's making with his lips, his cheeks puffed out, sweat rolling off his forehead... it's very hot in this sauna.

Absorbing all these great sensations on my cock, my balls humming and vibrating as I grind my hips in a little circular pattern pushing my crotch against his ass and thereby flattening his buttocks a bit and getting my cock just that little bit further up inside him. Dajuan moans "Ohhh it feels so good..." I'm done with telling him to shut up, it's all about how good it feels for both of us now. Keeping my crotch smashed against his buttocks I bend down to suck his left nipple. Dajuan grabs my head running his fingers all through my hair, up the back of my head, moaning and squirming under me, gasping out some more moans, then "I love this so fucking much.... oh God it feels soooo good..." I'm nibbling on his hard nipple feeling my cock grow even harder inside him. Looking up at Dajuan, his eyes are big, spit all around his mouth as he's craning his neck down so our mouths can meet, I stretch forward and we take turns sucking and licking each others tongue. I'm doing little two inch humps inside him now with him tightening his sphincter muscle each time I pull out the two inches. I feel my balls moving up in their sac so, pulling my head away and straightening-up, I grab one of his ankles in each hand and spread them even wider. Dajuan's looking in my eyes with about as submissive an expression as I've ever seen... it makes my dick get a tiny touch harder as I roughly pull his feet back on either side of my head than spread them out again humping my boner in and out, in and out, in and out, then slam it in and leave it there... he's nodding his head for me to fuck him harder. Waiting a few seconds catching my breath, I then begin pounding my cock up his ass, really pounding it now, my nuts smacking his ass with every thrust, sweat rolling off my face. Dajuan's humping up off the table spraying saliva and groaning and moaning the mantra, "fuck my ass... fuck me.. fuck me..." not in a demanding way but rather using his whiny submissive voice. Sweats slippery on his buttocks, pooling at his belly button, sweat everywhere, it's hot as hell in here... "SLAM! SLAM! SLAM! my crotch smacks off his ass with my swollen boner poking up his hole it's full six inches with every drive.

I'm holding his ankles and without thinking about it I pull his feet over to rest against either side of my face, they're up against my cheeks as my hips swing forward and back, fucking his ass for all I'm worth. Ah ha, the foot thingie... his feet feel good on my sweaty face and I use them to wipe the perspiration off my forehead and across my nose... nice foot smell, I inhale it as I hump him. Jesus! That's sexy as hell, his odor, me up inside him. He has long well formed toes, very nice feet and I press them against my mouth and nose... it's so extra sexy my hips pick-up speed and I feel my nuts start to churn... that familiar feeling of impending climax all up and down my cock takes hold... it's almost painful inside my thighs near my nuts... awesome. I bite one of his heels pressing my nose against the sole of his foot knowing it won't be long now. Dajuan's chanting. "I'm cumming... I'm fucking cumming" his toes curl tight on my forehead as a long white stream of spunk flies from his cock and splatters under his chin, Dajuan's flopping on the massage table making gargling sounds in his throat and clamping down his sphincter muscle so tightly on my cock I squeal out, "Eeeeeeee" and cum spurts up from my nuts and pours out from my cock in a hard stream filling his asshole, Dajuan's body jerking violently while his boner fires another smaller shot of cum that hits the nipple I'd been biting a couple of minutes ago. Grabbing his boner he's stroking it in a frenzy, eyes tightly closed, long wheezy sounds squeezed out between his lips while I'm humping his ass nearly out of control and getting two more shots of cum for my trouble, then cum is drooling during a few more thrusts... feels so fucking good.

Slowing down, his hole sloppy with spunk, he's got his head up now and his eyes open, pulling on his boner and moving his lips... I lean down and we awkwardly try swallowing each others mouth as we lick, suck and kiss. Messy, but sexy, and hot as the surface of the sun. We're literally covered in sweat, the energy of the fuck and the sauna's heat has us drenched from head to foot. Our bodies together during the spit swapping causes Dajuan's cum to spread between our bellies and chests, my cum is drooling out of Dajuan's ass around my boner to stickily wet my crotch and his buttocks. We need to stop making-out so we can begin getting oxygen again, heavy breathing while staring at each other with shiny eyes, panting as we come down from way, way up there where our orgasms had taken us. Then, "That was fucking hot, Geoff..." I gulp out, "Dude!... you put a fucking spell on me or something. I was straight a few months ago, I swear to you, I use to be straight..." He smiles and says, "Well, you ain't straight now motherfucker!" I go, "Thank God for that. Scoot back..." and with my cock coming out of him Dajuan scoots backward on the table making room for me to climb up onto it and get between his legs, me then sitting back on my ankles. "We need a little more fucking.." as I lean forward to get my still hard boner lined-up, then push it way back up inside him. We both go, "Ahhhhh... ohhh, yeaaaah" because it feels like it belongs up there to both of us... we giggle a little at our own horniness, but only until I get into humping him steadily again. Soon he's back into his submissive posture rolling his head back and forth whispering my name, "Geoff, fuck me... fuck my ass Geoff...." as I'm really getting into fucking him hard, the feeling's totally on me now. I feel the dominance growing as I hump his asshole bumping his body forward with the force of it, my hands gripping his hips pulling him back roughly into my thrusts, me towering over his squirming body. Dajuan's moaning and after a few minutes of that I let go of his hips and use both hands to roughly push behind both his thighs getting his legs up in the air "Hold those fucking black legs away from me now..." whimpering, he goes "Yes, Geoffie... " sounding like a ten year old. Holding his legs against his body, his feet up in the air, causes his ass to roll upward so I can fuck down on it, sweat and spit drooling down my chin, I fucked his hole and smacked his spanked ass with each boner thrust. It went on for a good long time...

Our second climaxes were minus most of the cum of the first climax, some small shots, then mostly orgasms without any real spunk... some watery drips, but the sensations were fabulous. Covered in sweat, I fell on top of him, he wrapped his legs around my waist and his arms around my back, our faces together we licked and kissed for half a minute, me still fucking his ass with three inch humps, then slowing down to a stop so we could concentrate on breathing once more. We don't do much of the lovey/dovey affectionate stuff, it's too gay for me and we're not lovey/dovey in the first place... we're buds doing some ultra hot buddy-sex together. I go, "I hate this part" as I'm sitting up and pulling my boner out of his body... "Ooooo" I go, "Ahhhhhh Ohhh" goes, Dajuan. "Oh boy, that rocked!" I exclaim, really feeling great. "Awesome ass, Dajuan.." I'm climbing off the table and when I'm on the floor Dajuan rolls off the table and lands lightly on his feet... like a cat. "Jesus, Geoff... that was a bigger workout than the weights..." We got bottles of water and drank them sitting on the bench sweating in the sauna and talking about our sex-capade. I explained about my foot thing back when I was a freshman and how I'm developing a fetish to increase the sexual high. He's like, "Dude, a foot fetish? A smelly foot fetish?" and I go, "Oh yeah, it's way stupider than a spanking fetish, rightttttt" and he laughs and laughs. A little later we showered together but did no hanky-panky as we were sexually satisfied. It's not like we're lovers or anything. Clean and happy we did our homework together and I stayed for dinner with Dajuan and his family like I do a couple times a week. His younger brother, Jamal, boasted about going three for four with a homerun during his baseball game, which they lost. Mr Smith lectured him that going three for four wasn't the important part, winning the game is the important part and Jamal said he knew that, but I could tell he didn't really believe it. He looked over and smirked at me, cool kid with a short fade haircut and stunning green eyes. He knows he's hot, sadly he's totally hetero... but then, so was I at his age.

Dajuan drove me home after we watched a preseason Red Sox game and on the way we talked some more about our sexual activities this afternoon, neither of us were completely sexually satisfied any longer, it had been six hours since we climaxed and we are eighteen year old boys after all. Nothing to be done about the growing horniness now though, we're looking forward to Friday and a repeat performance. When I went inside the house I found my grandparents waiting-up for me, they asked about my day and made sure I was OK, then Mom Mom pecked me goodnight on my cheek, Gramps did his usual pat on my back telling me I was a good kid and upstairs they go. Nah, I can't tell them about me being bi, it would only complicate things. There's no reason to anyway. Dajuan will pick me up in the morning for school so I don't need to take the school bus, which would suck big time. Being poor I don't have a car but I do have a part time job on the weekends. During the week my grandparents use the family car and there simply isn't any business establishment remotely within walking distance. The car's available to me on weekends though, so I work all day Saturdays and Sundays. I drive to a location near the Framingham's Shoppers World where I work ten hours each day at a Starbucks... I give half the money to Grand Dad to help with my board and the rest is my lunch money and a little spending money for cigarettes etc... there isn't any fifty dollars left over for any fucking senior class gift. I thought about that embarrassing situation as I lay in bed, I hadn't told Dajuan because he'd put the fifty dollars in for me without telling me... I've got too much pride to let that happen.

First thing in the morning Dajuan's in my driveway looking yummy and acting chummy, we do our handshake and he says, "God damn Geoff, you are a cute motherfucker, ya know that?" And I go, "Of course I know it... " It gets me to thinking about Bruce who's nice looking too. I ask Dajuan, "Hey, what do ya think about Bruce, could he be gay or bi?" Dajuan shrugs and I add "The other night I watched a short video of a threesome of gay lads on my PC and wondered... what if?" Dajuan goes, "Oh my God, you want another white boy pounded his cock up my black ass, is that it?" I burst out a laugh and he says, "Or maybe you be interested in someone fucking your boy pussy... sho' nuff, that's it, ain't it?" "No way, dude... nobody fucks me. I just kinda like Bruce's slim body... if he's gay I mean. Whaddya you think?" He goes "Hmmm, you know him better than me, might be interesting at that... if he's gay or bi he'll probably be another sub though, don't ya think?" I go, "Wouldn't that be something..." and I also secretly thought about the feel of Garrett's boner... that's another thing I didn't tell Dajuan about. Wouldn't it be fantastic if these last two months in school turned my senior year totally around!

to be continued...

Donny Mumford thinat20@yahoo.com