GMMA Part 11
give me my angel
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And then we did when he suddenly grabbed hold of my now semi hard dick. I released his lips and opened my mouth with ecstasy. I opened my eyes as I looked into his clear blue eyes. Unfortunately everything else wasn't so clear.
I gently pushed him away from me and stood up. He looked at me with a dismal face. My body ached to jump back and spend the rest of the night with him, but something stopped me.
"I'm sorry" I cried, without turning back and left._
Part 11
I ran and kept running until I reached the beach. I dropped on the sand and began to pant heavily.
I sat there on the beach...lost and alone on a beautiful night. In the moon light, I could see the sea waves hitting the shore. My mind was full of questions but I was too dazed to think about answers. I went back inside when I felt cold.
He was gone.
I wore my t-shirt and slept through an uneventful night.
The next morning when I opened my eyes, Jason was standing in front of me.
"Good morning lazy asshole...you know you're leaving today?"
"I know" I replied unperturbed.
The others were already up and ready to go. I wasn't. I wanted to stay for like a couple of weeks more. Jason was helping El get the bags in his car.
I felt uncomfortable in the house. So I went to sit by the beach again, to hopefully gather my thoughts.
I sat there barefooted wiggling my toes in the sand. Suddenly images of the previous night filled my mind. I could still feel him touching my body, his lips smothering mine. I started to think - Why did I let him go?
I heard someone behind me.
"Coffee?" Rene asked as he sat beside me.
My coffee boy.
I took the cup in my hand and looked straight out at the sea.
"I don't know what to say Jess..." he said.
"El..." I said.
"El?"
"Yeah...you can begin with him."
"Jess", he said touching my chin, forcing me look into his blue eyes, "I have ended that."
"How can that be?" I demanded.
"It's over" he concluded and took a deep breath.
"It's never over" I whined, "It can't just be...I mean it's not as simple as that..."
"...maybe this is as simple as it gets."
"But you love him..."
"And I've begun to love you..."
I looked away and kept quiet. I wanted to light my flares and blast away from earth.
"You know Rene...when I imagined you and me together, I wanted you to completely belong to me. And last night wasn't what I imagined..."
He blinked at me. "...Jess, but I don't know how to explain to you..."
"...You don't have to."
I stood up. "Face it Rene, I will just be a rebound."
When I turned to leave, Rene pulled me down by my t-shirt. The coffee cup flipped downward; coffee spilling all over him. He didn't care. He pushed me on the sand and before I knew it he was on top of me. He looked into my eyes.
Kissing me hard, he said, "No you won't..."
I tried to resist but I couldn't do anything. I knew I could push him back but something inside me prevented from trying harder.
I stopped trying. I gave in.
The Kiss was different this time. It was a more fervent kiss...as if he was trying to force me to believe him. As if he had failed the previous night. I was without sensation. My brain had died and I was in a way thankful for that. Mr. Logic had decided to let me have this moment.
After what seemed like a lifetime, he released my lips and stared at me again.
His blue eyes had said it all.
He again gave me a peck on my cheek and left, as if he was saying goodbye.
I was too busy for love. Will and I were back to our normal lives and we were making up for the missed classes. I hardly spoke to Laura. Will was always seen with a fat book in her hands, she carried it even to the bathroom – this was normal only during exam times.
One day, I finally decided to go to Laura's house after a great deal of contemplation. I didn't want to encounter Rene. Seeing his face could lead to insane consequences.
It had been two weeks since I last saw him – since he last kissed me.
Of course there were times my hands ached to pick that phone and call Rene. But, for better or for worse, I had begun to start thinking with my brain again.
"So what's with you and Rene anyway?" Laura asked.
"Ahhh...nothing..."
"Nothing? Do you know something Jess?"
"Yeah?"
"Rene asks me everyday...if I have seen you..."
For a moment I was truly touched.
"Why? Does he think I'm dead?"
"Don't be a jerk Jess..." she scowled.
"He doesn't care Laura..."
"How do you know that?"
"Well he can't expect to break up with El and fall in love with me on the same night, can he?"
"Jess", Laura exclaimed, "Hasn't it ever crossed your mind that Rene might have had feelings for you before he broke up with El?"
I was silent.
"How can you deny what you always wanted?" she demanded.
"Laura I don't want to talk about this any more, I just need time..."
"Okay...whatever...it's your life..."
Change subject.
"How's Jason?" I asked.
"Ohh...he's fine" she said indifferently.
"What does that mean?"
"That I don't care anymore...it was just an infatuation...and he doesn't live here!"
"He doesn't live here? That shouldn't matter..."
"Let's not talk about this any more Jess, I just need time..." Laura teased.
I smiled. "Shut up."
"You shut up, you are the one in love with my beloved brother..."
"Laura! Shut up!"
"No I won't! Jesse has a boyfriend and he is my brother...Jesse has a boyfriend...nanannana..."
I threw a pillow at Laura and we were instantly in a pillow fight.
I left Laura's place five hours before Rene was supposed to be back. Why was I running away from him? What was going on in my fucking head?
It had begun to rain. The seasons were changing. I had fallen in love so quickly. Now I knew why you "fall" in love.
Will was away. I sat there watching TV, but my mind was elsewhere. I started to remember the night. I began to wonder what I would have done if I wasn't so afraid.
I sat near the window and looked outside, maybe hoping for some answers. I knew it wasn't right. I wanted Rene's unconditional love. And at that moment I wasn't sure if he knew what he was doing. I convinced myself that I had done the right thing and retired to the bed.
Just when I was about to sleep, the door bell rang.
I wearily walked to the door and opened it.
It was him. I wasn't shocked because I was sure I was dreaming. But then he began to speak.
"Jess?" he said nervously. For the first time I saw a different Rene – not the Rene who knows what he is doing, and not the Rene who is in control of everything around him.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice groggy.
He thought for a moment and then shook his head feebly. "I don't know..."
It was then that I realized that he was getting wet. "Come inside!" I commanded.
"Let me get a towel..." I said and almost ran to my room.
I took a towel from the closet and sat on the bed to give my brain a chance to comprehend what was happening.
Nah...too late for that. Rene was now walking into my room. And his shirt had vanished.
"You got that towel? I'm kinda cold..." he said.
Without looking at him, I tossed him the towel.
I felt a chill sprint through my spine when he came over to the bed and sat next to me.
He gently wiped his body dry.
I got up and got him one of my t-shirts.
He put it on and looked at me. "Ok I'll get going then..." he said and began to leave.
"Rene!" I shouted, "Fuck...Tell me why you are here!"
He turned back.
"I was just passing by your house and thought I'd see you...Thanks for the t-shirt..."
"That's it?"
"Yeah..." he said blankly.
"Aren't you going to say...you love me or something?" I asked.
Where the fuck was this coming from?
"Do you want me to say that?"
"Do you want me to want you to say that?" I quipped.
"Jess...you know that I've done my part. I've made my move. It's up to you now...and I think I know what you have decided..." he said sadly and began to leave.
I saw him leave and my brain was sending millions of nerve signals to make my fucking mouth shout – STOP!
It was too late. The door was now closed.
I sat on the couch and felt miserable about what just happened. I still had a chance...I could run after him and stop him. But I didn't. I decided to go back to bed but I found myself walking towards the door.
I opened it. A cool breeze blew over my face.
He was gone.
Just when I was about to close the door I heard a lovely voice call out my name.
"Jesse?"
Rene was sitting on the steps leading up to the door.
My angel was still there.
I sat down beside him in the rain.
"Why do you like to get wet?" I asked.
"What's your problem? I'm not kissing you or something right..." he growled.
I laughed.
I looked at him. It was my Rene. The Rene that I had danced with wearing a girls clothes the first time I saw him at Laura's party. What was wrong with me?
"You know what?" I said.
"What?"
"Fuck everyth..." I said and kissed him.
I could feel the rain slowly wetting my face, my body as I kissed Rene. It had begun to rain heavily. But we didn't care. This kiss was my third and we had got it right this time.
I suddenly stopped kissing and asked, "Do you wanna come inside?"
He grinned at me. "Isn't Will going to come home soon?"
"Ohhhh...we've some 40...30...20 minutes...that should do..."
"I guess so" he said as he hopped up. We ventured into the calm atmosphere of my house.
I closed the door and turned around only to get kissed again. Rene grabbed my t-shirt and threw it on the floor. Water drops were flying all over the floor. In an instant, I made my t-shirt on Rene disappear. I looked at his gorgeous upper body and touched it all over to make sure it was real.
"You're fuckin hot...did I ever tell you tha..." I quipped.
"Look who's talking..." my Rene replied as he kissed my nipples.
"Woahhh", I shrieked. I could no longer feel the floor under my feet. Rene carried me to my bedroom and threw me onto the bed. I fell with a thud. I guess even though he was strong, I was a bit too heavy for him! He then jumped on me and began to pant...
"Stop" I said.
"What now?" he asked incredulously.
"Just that we're doing this too fast...relax...take a deep breath...I want to remember this shit and stuff..."
"Okay" Rene said.
"I mean it!"
"Okay...Okay...I've no problem...I know, it's your first time darling, I'll go easy..."
Darling?
"Don't patronize me!" I exclaimed, "I'm no kid..."
"I know...I know...now you relax" he said as he gently kissed me on my lips.
No matter what crisis I face in life, I knew this kiss would always make me feel a million times better.
I kissed him back and swiftly rolled him over on the bed. I kissed his chest, his nipples, sucked his belly button and reached his jeans. I gracefully undid his jeans and pulled them down. He sported a nice bulge in a black boxer. Hallelujah!
"Can I remove this, please..." I asked Rene pointing to his boxers.
"Wow...Go on Jess, that's SO romantic!" he jibed.
"Shut up, this is after all, my first" I retorted.
I leisurely dragged his boxers down.
"FUCK!" I shouted.
Rene smiled. "You wanna try my baby?"
"Fuck YES!" I shouted.
This was the moment. I bent down to suck Rene's hard uncut dick which was so fucking beautiful. I drew my face close to his weapon of mass destruction. And then the moment exploded.
"I can't" I whispered arching back.
"What?"
"I can't do this Rene...I just can't..." I said.
The fucking moment was all over even before it started. The great Jesse had screwed himself again.
Rene sat on the bed. "Hey hey hey..." he said sitting close to me. He hugged me.
"That's ok kid..."
"STOP calling me kid..."
"But you are one; you're a baby who knows to suck his thumb..."
"That's not funny..."
He laughed. "Sorry...listen I know it's not easy, it's your first time."
"But..."
"No but...as you said, we can go slow...there is no hurry now" he said and kissed me again.
I looked at his crotch and his dick was semi-hard now. I changed my mind...maybe I can do it...
"Stop staring honey, you're gonna see me a lot anyway, so don't get bored already..."
I smiled. "I love you Rene" I said and hugged him tight.
We withdrew as he looked into my eyes. "I'm afraid I love you too!" he smiled and kissed me on my cheek.
To be continued...
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Thanks to my editor - Dave.
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