Here's chapter two of the story Giving Up. I'd like to dedicate this story to the people who e-mailed me with the first chapter and my net friends for asking me to continue this story. Hope you like it!
"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it."
*** Two in a Million ***
God, I totally hate this thing! Where did my old me self again where I know that I'm totally single and actually know someone doesn't like me or at least won't do anything with me. Now it's like, totally weird! My best friend who I was over with a long time ago since he never showed THE sign that he was actually gay or whatever, somehow became interested on me. But I stopped liking...actually loving him...in that way. Okay, here's the quick recap, after getting sorta 'dumped' by that guy Patrick - since I found out he's sooo straight, he brang his girlfriend in the 'date' we had! - who I can't believe I liked the whole time when I went in this ski trip, Dave, my best friend if you didn't know, kissed me when I came home!
Okay maybe I was the first one who made the move that night, but it doesn't mean that he has to hug me and kiss me again and again! I mean my kiss was only a peck and he literally hugged me and kissed me harder! Literally people. Now, I totally feel so in love with him again. I want to run back to him and kiss him and say to him that the three words I've been meaning to tell. But now I know he's trying to avoid me 'cuz it's been three days that he hasn't said one word to me. What did I do anyways? Oh yeah I kissed him! So?! He kissed me back! Sigh...what can go weirder than this? Prince William marrying Britney Spears like the tabloid says? As if!
The truth is, I'm sorta avoiding him too. I mean not fully avoiding him like if I see him then I'd go the other way around just to avoid him. Avoid like not calling him, not talking to him, you know stuff like that. I'm just scared that's all. It felt good alright but still, maybe it was a mistake. A misguided thing because I was so desperate that night or maybe he felt sorry for me and maybe knew that I actually liked him. Maybe he's not gay after all! Maybe he was drunk that time or something.
I kicked my locker door hard with my running shoes leaving an indent mark that made my locker look awful. The girl who's locker was beside mine looked at me like I was the total bitch of North America but I didn't care. Like she knows what's going on with my life. Besides, I'm not a bitch!
It was already after school and my head was already hurting from too much stressful work in every classes I took and my stomach gurgled and my back ached from the heavy back pack I carried. Damn, did I forget to say that I'm avoiding Nancy and James too? I know it's bad but it's like, they're gonna make me spill the beans then they'd scream that me and Dave actually kissed. Hanging out with them, I think I know Nancy and James would be really happy if they hear the news. They so think that me and Dave are the most perfect couples if we were going out.
And today's a lucky day, I know both of them would be in the football field cheering for Dave in his practice. They'd think that I'd go straight there after school. No way today. It's bad enough between me and Dave, and now see him running, sweating, panting,...in that tight white pants football guys uses...oh god! My mouth's watering! No way! There's no way I'm gonna go to that football practice just to watch him play! If I drool or scream 'Go Sweetheart' with that gay ol' tune, then busted!
I finally walked out of the school before, this is when like God punishes me, someone grabbed me by my shoulder. I turned around very very slowly and saw the most irritated face in the world.
"Don't you say anything Blue! Omigod! We've been worried sick I mean like Dave didn't want to say what happened that day and like we tried to call you and like the answering machine kept on going and like you've been snubbing the three of us and Dave's been snubbing you! What the hell is going on?! Where's the insights?! I am the girl here dammit! I'm suppose to know everything!" Nancy said aloud with this varsity girl sound. I managed to back away a little and giggle nervously and croaked, "Uhh...hey Nancy!"
Her face turned from a furious major outraged look to a sweet smile then suddenly giggled. Totally weird. She said hey back and grabbed my wrist so I wouldn't walk away from her again. "Didn't you forget?! Your best friend is like, has his practise today. The least you could do to make it all up is to go to the practice and wait for him now let's go!"
Damn. Thought I got away with it. It's way better if she just kept on yacking on why I avoided them than go to Dave's practise. I smiled foolishly thinking of some way to get away out of this situation but could think of none. I whispered like I totally lost, "Sigh...okay." "You are soo gonna tell me what happened that night. I mean you guys went weird after! He was like quiet lately and he was like kinda like trying to avoid us too. I mean did me and James do anything wrong?"
We walked; rather she dragged me all the way to the back of the school where the practise was. James and sigh...Dave were in the field and there was some other girls and guys sat on the edge of the football field. Probably girlfriends and friends of the other players. James was sitting like a lazy bum on one of the high benches and screamed to Dave who held the football to himself tossing it up in the air back and forth from one hand to his another, "C'mon Man! Need some blood here! Beat one of the guys later!"
"You'll see the stars soon if you don't shut up!" he shouted back. Faintly from far away, I could see James's eyes rolling, zipping his mouth before grabbing a hand full of chips which he shoved in his mouth quickly. Neither James or Dave noticed me or Nancy coming closer to them. fuck, I can't take this. Dave was there standing perfectly with his football gears on. He looked at the ball as it went up the air then down then up then down. I didn't want to face him. I'm so scared! I mean how would he react now or say to me! God, I just wish I could just go there like the old times, which was 5 days ago, and just give a wink like we were old best friends again - him not knowing that I like him.
Nancy dragged me harder since I begged and quietly whined gripping the soft soil with the heels of my untied running shoes. I finally got close but as soon as we reached the field, Dave ran back to where the boys' change room was. I sighed and walked freely and sat closely beside James grabbing a handful of chips. James looked at me surprised, "Heya stranger!"
I smiled and looked up in the clear sky. At least everything's going well. Nancy sat beside me talking about the usual stuff forgetting that I avoided them for three whole days. Or James. They were sitting there talking to chit chatting away while I sat down there hoping there'd be a rainstorm and the football would be cancel. Sigh...but it didn't. It was still a perfect day with the sun showering the whole world with that freaking sunlight.
The football players came out with two coaches training them. We sat there for endless hours of boredom except for Nancy since she's so into the guys in the football league. I don't even understand why we even bother sitting down here just to wait for someone. To tell you the truth, I really wanted to get out of that place. I couldn't stop looking at Dave and wonder why he would do such a thing. I mean, why would he let me kiss him and kiss me back and starts avoiding me the days after. He's giving me mix signals here and I'm really confused on which one to believe on.
Luckily, the practice finished earlier than we had expected and soon no more than thirty minutes after, since sigh....Dave had to take a quick shower, we were all walking down to the bus stop. I stood there with James and Nancy beside me while Dave sat there on the bench by himself with his sports bag on his lap. His new haircut really made him look...really...sexy. It was shaved in the sides and in the back but not left the top short and left a little 'tail' which was kept together by a blue rubber band at the back of his head. I wanted to comment on his new haircut but I felt like he would just ignore the stuff that I'd say. We were in our neighbourhood less than an hour and I could feel Nancy sorta feeling that weird awkwardness between me and Dave since she KNOWS that Dave always walks close beside me when we all walk together and now, he was walking far away from me.
Really, if I could do anything to make Dave be the Dave that I used to know again, I would do anything. He's like one of the things that makes me feel that I'm part of this world. I don't want to sound to mushy but it is. It's like, he's the only one that actually makes me happy and accepts me for what I am. Even when I told him I was gay, he was sorta weird about it at first but he did accept it. He was always there when I felt unsecured, alone or afraid. He was there trying to comfort me before meeting with that dum fuck Patrick. I swear if I ever see Patrick again, I'd gladly beat him up for no any reasons!!! Dave was there...whenever I needed him the most.
Now, it's like I'm losing him. It's like I feel like he's moving far away from me forever just because of one stupid kiss. Really, if I had a chance on stopping that kiss I would've done it by now. I'd rather keep what I feel towards him and have Dave as best friend rather than expressing my feelings and losing him completely. I know I wouldn't go on if I didn't have anyone exactly like Dave. I mean three days of Dave really made me really depressed. Imagine not having for two weeks. I don't think I would've survived.
Nancy and James stopped talking already five minutes ago and we were all walking like bunch of quiet strangers. For I can remember, this had never happen before. Whenever the four of us are together the only time that there would be silence is if someone put duck tapes in all four our mouths. But as always Nancy, who doesn't like us not talking, blurted out, "Hey you guys! My feet are tingling so let's go to the mall or something! My dad just gave me a really big allowance and..."
"Count me out..." Dave blurted out gloomy which cut Nancy off. I guess he really wanted to say that 'cuz I know he knows that Nancy didn't like being cut off when she's speaking. But today, Nancy didn't feel bad about it. "Alright. I mean you were in the practise n' stuff so me, James and Blue are gonna holler in Scarb so if you wanna go with us, just find us there okay?"
"...Yeah sure..." Dave said. "Look I'll see you guys okay?"
"See you later Nancy, James...Bl...see you guys," he said not looking at me. He waited for Nancy and James to say goodbye but when I opened my mouth to say something, he quickly darted out to the other side of the street and went to a shortcut in this little alleyway. "See....ya...Dave."
We went back to the bus stop. My heart pounded and I fought really hard trying not to shed tears. I breathed hard and my hands tingled and my stomach felt like someone boxed me for two straight hours. But I couldn't take it. Two beads of tears strolled down my cheeks down to my lips. I wiped it with my hand pretending that I was scratching my face. I really can't take it anymore. I lost him. He completely ignored me. He doesn't like me anymore or want to be friends with me anymore. I can't take it. It hurts too much to handle this. Why can't he just at least say bye! I said bye! Why can't he? I hid my face by looking away from them sniffing ever so slightly that they wouldn't here. "We should check that new store that's open in Scarborough Centre, heard it's gonna be a cool outfit store."
"Yeah I know! I went there yesterday and it was sooo cool! They had this HYPE pants like it's....like...I don't indescribable! It was like dark orange with bunch of watchamcall it...these weird Chinese symbols patches on the sides of the pants and like I heard that it glows in the dark! It'd be good if we get to be a part of that dancing people in Electric Circus!" James blurted out so excitedly. Naturally I would comment on that but I was too darn down just to say anything. I couldn't take it anymore. I was literally covering my face to hide my tears away from them. Nancy finally noticed me and she asked, "Hey why you got a headache."
Still covering my face, I whispered trying not to sound like I was crying, "Yeah...yeah I have...look you guys I'm not going alright? I...I have a major headache..." I whispered then I darted off without waiting to say goodbyes. I heard them cry out 'later' to me. As soon as I got home, I locked the door crying my guts out until I could totally feel my lungs burning, my stomach twitching, my heart pounding, ugh...until everything in me just wanted to get out. By then, my stomach just twitched hard and my head hurled. I ran straight to the toilet regurgitating everything that I ate today. It might sound sick but it actually felt good. The pain that I felt from my stomach pushing everything back up took away the other pain in my chest. I sat flushing the toilet, closing the lid and sitting resting my head on the lid then grabbed a tonful of tissues to wipe my face.
It went back again. That sad feeling again. I couldn't take it anymore. I gargled my mouth with water and went back to my bedroom thinking how much he's really hurting me, how I can't do anything about it, how he doesn't want to be friends anymore...god I was thinking about EVERYTHING that happened between him and me. How those years and months of being best friends are totally getting wasted, those fun memories, tragic moments, boring moments, embarrassing ones, everything. I kept on crying again wondering if my tears will ever run out. I don't know how many hours it has been but I knew that it was totally dark when my heart suddenly raced when my mom called me from downstairs that one of my friends is at the door. I ran down hoping that Dave was there ready for both of us to apologise hoping that we would pick up where we had left of or maybe even go further down the road. But as soon as I reached the stairs...I stared at disbelief. It was Nancy.
"We gotta talk Blue...about you and Dave," she whispered. James wasn't anywhere in sight and I knew she was alone in purpose. I almost melted in the spot from fear since I didn't want her to know. Eventually I let her in my house and we both walked up to my bedroom quietly. She sat on the stool like she always do while I sat Indian style on my bed. "Nancy...alright I'll tell you...please don't tell James...or anyone...about Saturday night..."
I told her everything. And I mean everything what happened that day with Patrick and getting shock that he brought his girlfriend which totally broke my heart but got over it quickly and thought of him as a friend now and how sigh...I hugged Dave and how I kissed him and how he kissed him back. But then I told her about that he's been avoiding me and explained to her that the reason I tried to avoid them all is that Dave didn't want me to be around them and how I was too scared if they freaked if I tell both of them about it. "Nancy...fuck...I'm scared man! If I could turn back time and not kiss him...I would've went by now! God you don't know how much I need him now. I love him Nancy...I do...I love him..."
I cried but this time, I was really crying. I was whimpering I was shuddering. I was like a little baby when Nancy came over quickly hugging me rocking me. She whispered trying to quiet me down. "Shhh...shhh...it's okay it's okay! Blue it's okay! It's okay to love someone like him. Come now...be quiet..."
I quieted down but I was crying like hell. fuck...I can't believe I told her and I can't believe I totally LOVE him that much again like I used to. Maybe this is why I'd rather not kiss him because I wanted to be close to him and pretend that he loves me too in that way than telling it . I whispered curiously, "Nancy?"
"Yeah what is it?"
"How'd you know?" I asked.
"Dave...he came to the mall...looking for you..." she said quietly holding me tight. I gasped, "WHAT?!!"
She nodded calmly then said, "He said he needed to talk to you and...when James was shopping and trying to buy that pants he talked about...he spilled everything...about you.." "He did?! Oh man oh man!!" I said pulling away from her hold gasping for breath. She held my shoulders again telling me while looking straight into my eyes, "Calm down Blue...the good news is that he's not mad at you or anything...the bad news is that..."
"He doesn't like me! He doesn't like me doesn't he?!" I said almost gasping. I could feel my heartbeat quickening up and I felt like I wanted to grab a knife and stab myself if she says yes. She shook her head lifting her shoulder and hands, "Blue I don't know! He's confuse! He doesn't know what to say to me. What I mean is like...he doesn't know what he feels towards you anymore."
"What do you mean?! He doesn't like me? That's what you're telling me isn't it?!" I said almost screaming. She shook her head really vigorously, "No! I didn't say that! Blue stop thinking that way! I told you I don't know and he doesn't know how he feels about you."
"Fuck he doesn't like me man, he doesn't love me. Nancy...what am I gonna do?! He doesn't like me!" I screamed bursting out crying again unable to think except for the thought that he actually doesn't like me bugs me. Nancy hugged me again. "Don't fucking say that you here?! You shouldn't give up Blue! Not by any chances now 'cuz I know, and trust me in this one, that you have a good chance with this guy!"
"...Really...?" I asked halting another tear from coming down to her shirt. For the first time in this major problem, I actually felt like there was hope. I couldn't believe that somebody ACTUALLY supported me on going after this before it's too late! Nancy nodded, "Blue, I'm not kidding...I'm the girl in this group and I know EVERYTHING! You hear?! EVERYTHING! And I want you to go out there sometime and talk to him alright?"
She said this in a rather happy dominant voice and she was smiling trying to cheer me up and to stop me from burst from crying again. I smiled then giggled making me look kinda weird since I was crying too. Then I stopped and smiled again. I hugged her again and whispered, "Nancy...thank you...how can I ever repay you back?"
"Blue, we're close friends and I care about you...besides...I was really wanting you two to be together! Like I said before, you two look like a perfect couple even though you both aren't going out...YET!" she said hugging me back. She finally left giving an excuse that she had to go home since it was almost ten and her parents goes into tantrum when she goes home late at school night.
All night, and the morning after that, I couldn't stop about what Nancy told me. 'You shouldn't give up Blue!' was stuck in my head. It kept me kinda confident about myself that morning giving me thoughts that I would live up and not shudder to myself. I would live up to my expectations and what I want...I GET! If Dave doesn't like me...who cares! I mean there's many bended fishes out there waiting for me! I'm strong enough now if Dave can't accept that I love him. I would show to him if that happens how much he missed a chance of perfect happiness by going out with the most gorgeous guy in the world who's better, and much MUCH sweeter than him! I walked to school that day with all my fears behind me and like I was holding two leashes restraining two beautiful naked guys under my feet like dogs. When I looked at one of the mirrors in the washroom as I passed by them after I took a piss, I kinda looked like I had control over myself and I looked tougher and stronger. I smiled devilishly making me look even scarier. I walked out of the washroom feeling strong, confident, with high self esteem. But as soon Dave passed by me at lunch, looked at me straight in the eyes but didn't say a word to me, it was like he totally ripped this strong defence barrier I built from last night like it was only a plastic cover. All that confident, that self esteem, that strength I had suddenly just disappeared and left me totally down. I suddenly had the knowledge that Dave didn't want to talk or do anything with me anymore. Just because I LOVE HIM! fuck Love! I felt like I was now the one who's tied up on a leash. I just wanted someone, maybe Death, do something to me like they did in Final Destination where the characters died from tragic weird natural causes just because they cheated death.
I avoided Nancy and James again for lunch. Not in purpose really. Actually I guess it is but once they bring up Dave for a conversation, I was afraid I'd burst crying in the cafeteria. I already felt like bursting out crying after last period from holding it in too long. But I managed to hold it in and that's what counts...I guess. I mean at least I don't have to suffer humiliation and a long year end jokes if I do.
I waited for Nancy in her locker and when she came, James was walking right beside her chit chatting like they usually do. James waved gayly at me but I didn't wave back so he looked at me weird and walked to the other side of the hallway to go to his locker. She saw me and smiled walking speedily to get close to me. Once she did she said, "How'd it go?"
"We...didn't...talk," I whispered closing my eyes when I felt tears suddenly forming. I turned around to face the locker and covered my face to hide it from others. I was crying like mad. It was like, I totally lost every hope I had. I hid my face as best as I can as the hallways became crowded that I was totally to her locker. Nancy ran her hand on my back to comfort me but even that didn't stop me from crying.
I gasped finally trying to sound like I never even cried at all, "Nancy really....he totally snubbed me man! I give up, I mean what's the point?! He doesn't want to talk to me anymore!"
"That's just your stupid imaginations thinking! Now STOP IT! I'm serious this time alright?!" she said almost in a verge of screaming. I knew she was pissed 'cuz my nagging really irritated her but that's what I truly believed. He never liked me. "Is it?! Then...explain why he doesn't want to talk to me?! why...he just looks at me like I was nothing at all...like I was a fucking fag waiting to be slaughtered to a gay-basher butcher?! You're Ms. Know-It-All! C'mon tell me?!"
I waited for an answer but she didn't say anything. "See you don't know either! So don't bother helpin' me out 'cuz you're not helping."
She just suddenly grabbed me by my wrist and pulled me to the nearest washroom, I think it was the guys and she screamed the two little niner kids peeing in those toilets on the wall. They quickly zipped up and never bothered to clean their hands and left. I completely turned away hiding my face away while Nancy held my wrist so hard that it felt like it was about to crack and brake. As soon as they left, she locked the main door, walked close to me and smacked me right in my right cheek bone. Even though I knew she smacked me really hard, since I could feel my cheek bone tingling...it was like I was numb to the bone from depression.
"C'mon hit me again! I'm waiting 'cuz you see I really don't care anymore! I don't fucking care!" I shouted at her face waiting to get hit. She punched me again and the sharp end of one of her ring sliced a bit of my lip and blood gushed. This time it hurt. I held my lip with one hand. I gasped, "Seems like you like hitting me...hit me again. I don't care."
She slapped me so hard that I was shoved at the side of one of the cubicle wall. My butt slammed down the bathroom floor. I looked at her and now she was crying kneeling down towards me helping me to get up but I shrugged her off. She wiped her tears with her index finger. Then she stood up then backed away holding her hair back. She whispered, "I give up. You know I really tried. I did really. I wanted you both to be together 'cuz I know you both are meant to be together. But guess what?! It's you that's keeping him apart from you. You know why? I just realized now how you can be a chicken shit about talking about this stuff to him. You're too damn quick to think of negative thoughts than the positive ones. If you love him...like you told me that you do, why don't you talk to him?"
She left and unlocked the door. Before she opened it to leave she said, "I'm sorry...for hitting you. I thought that'd knock some senses out of you but you're too thick-headed. I'm sorry...but if somehow I got in your head...then go to talk to Dave...he's at the weightlifting room...but like the person you are, you don't have the guts to talk to him."
She left leaving me stranded trying to get up from the corner of the wall. I brushed my tears away and flushed the blood away from my lip until there was no more blood coming out. She's wrong. A bit wrong. She did get into me. She finally made me realize how I'm too chicken to talk to him about this situation. I'm too scared to go too 'cuz I was too scared of what he would say back to me. But, now I realized something. There wasn't much of a big risk here. The only thing that might be ruined is our friendship and right now, our friendship is already messed up. So I really wouldn't lose anything.
I dried myself off and slowly crept out of the washroom and was met with a small crowd looking at me babbling what happened to me and 'her' since they heard loud shouts and banging inside. I pushed them off and headed to the place where this would finally end. You know where...the weightlifting room. He would always go there after school whenever he won't have any practise. He had explained to me once that he goes there just to keep his muscles in shape but he didn't want big muscles like those fat, stocky guys who could lift cars like it was only a tiny baby. My head jumbled up with thoughts that he wouldn't be in the weightlifting room and to just give up and walk home. But I placed those in the back of my head to ignore them as I headed on through the hallway lacking of any students now to the weightlifting room. My heart beated like crazy and once, I decided to walk back and just run away from him. But still I headed on. I was so nervous that there was goose bumps on my legs and my arms. As soon as I reached the weightlifting room and I peeked in a little bit...but no one was there. I, again, almost decided to leave but then I heard a quiet groan, "Guh...one....t-two...puff, puff...t'three..." Shit! I quickly pulled off my head and clinging on the wall. It was Dave. It's him. I know it's him! It's his voice. I wanted to run to the other side of the hallway but I said myself to get a total grip. Slowly, I swooned inside the room very quietly and closed the door and locking it. He didn't see me since he was sitting facing his back at me as he sat one on of the bench press lifting a dumbbell with his right hand.
I slowly walked closer and closer and I called out his name quietly like I was almost whispering. "D-David?"
Shit...I called him by his first name! He didn't turn around but he sped up and said loudly, "James, tell Nancy I'm not coming. I need to keep in shape that's why."
Surprised, I smiled for a bit when he thought that I was actually that dumb ass Goth James. I whispered finally with his 'name', "Dave...it's me...Blue."
He turned around to look at me but then he turned back around and went back getting 'pumped' up. He whispered, "...hey..."
That seemed like a great start. At least he said hi to me. I walked closer to him while he pumped harder and harder. I sat on the bench beside him and gazed at the guy in front of me who's face glittered from sweat and arm muscles thickening as it contracted. He stopped and whisked his sweat away with the back of his hands. Resting his back on the wall and panting a bit hard, he whispered. "...So...what's up?"
"...Uh...Great! I mean okay I guess..." I whispered tucking the hair on my ear when I stared down the floor. I continued, "...you?"
He nodded, "Good...I guess."
We sat there trying not to look at each other but just couln't. After a few seconds, I was staring at his cute blue eyes and his looking back at mine. Suddenly, he stood up and walked around with his hands on his waist line. He burst out from a completely different tone, "I can't take it anymore! WE...need to talk!"
He closed his eyes and walked around faster as I nodded slowly. "Then he stopped in front of me and sat back down the bench press. "Blue did...do you love me?"
I immediately said yes by nodding. He didn't do anything that'd show me that he was scared hell from hearing that. He must've rehearsed this or something. He continued, "When?"
"Ever since...we've known each other," I said like he was about to hit me. That, he really became shocked. His eyes widened and his fingers fidgeted, "How?! Why?!"
"How....when...why...next your going to ask where and who I fell in love with!! Dave...I love you alright...fuck! I don't know why and how. I just DO okay?!....I can't believe I'm actually saying this," I burst out. I started crying. I stood up and I was about to run off but he stood up and blocked me off. I tried to shake him off, punching him, kicking him trying to push him off, but he was too strong. But instead, he held me closer putting his arms around me to calm me down. I could feel the dampy skin touching me and I could feel his humid breath running down my exposed my neck as I slowly felt weak and dropped to my knees. We both kneeled down the floor hugging each other. I slowly wrapped my arms around him then hugged him tight. He whispered, "Blue...please don't cry..."
"Dave, why can't you like me? God, I gave up on you a long time ago but I just can't stop loving you. God, I'm soo in love with you. I'm sorry!" I said while my tears soaked his tank top. He hugged me tighter and I could feel him crying also. "Who the fuck told you that I wasn't attracted to you?! Nancy?! James?! Your other friends?!"
"Myself.." I whispered. He whispered back, "Why did you think of that?"
"'Cuz! After I kissed you...you started avoiding me, you didn't want to talk to me, you snubbed me, you didn't call me..." He let go for a minute at me and looked at me and he smiled his white teeth showing, "Blue, the truth is...I...like you. Why did you think I kissed you back? Didn't you even figure it out when I left when Patrick came how I became so jealous if he WAS gay? God...I was just too god damn scared too you know! You didn't even think of what I'm feeling right now! You know why I'm god damn smiling like a fairy here? 'Cuz I know now that you...like...love me. It was really a torture knowing that you're gay and not being able to express how much I feel about you. God...I love you too man..."
He cried and hugged me so tight that I actually lost feeling of my fingers. But hell WHO CARES?!!!!! HE LOVES ME!!!! OH YEAH!!!! WHO DA MAN!!! I hugged him back and I almost screamed from happiness! I quickly got up with him around me almost screaming. "Oh my god! WOW! REALLY?! You love me?! No way! Are you just saying this 'cuz you feel sorry for me or something! Or you just want to try out a gay relationship?! You actually love me?"
He started giggling on my neck as he started kissing my neck. I almost lost balance again since my legs started to turn jello but he held me up. "I do...love you I mean! Hehehe! Will you stop it with that question!"
"Sigh...I'm so glad that we could be more than best friends...you don't know how much happy I am."
"No...you don't know how HAPPY I am," he said as he held my face with both of his hands. Then...like three nights before...he drew his lips closer to me. I closed my eyes as I felt my lips touching his hot pinkish lips. Our tongue met midway tasting each other's liquid. I wanted to stop to take a quick breath but he pulled my head closer to me to explore his tongue in me deeper. I gasped and almost collapsed when he groaned erotically.
He stopped, removing his tongue off inside of me and he smiled whispering to me, "God...you don't know how much I wanted to do that again...I'm soo glad!"
He smiled and I smiled and eventually. We kissed again then did a few 'work outs' with our muscles. Doing push ups and other stuff like that silly! What do you think I am?! A whore?! I'd never do him before the first date! Maybe after the first date...
We stood together, our hears completely pumping as I slowly knocked on the main door. We waited and took a big breath before someone opened the door. We smiled when a girl stood in front of us waiting for us to say something. Without saying anything, I moved closer to Dave taking his hand to hold them with my right showing it to her. Dave and I blushed as Nancy smiled while her eyes glittered from excitement. She screamed sarcastically, "SEE! I AM Ms. Know-It-All!"