"So, Ivan..." Greg said sheepishly. I knew it, this was it. We'd been dating for three months. It was time. "You know how my 10 year class reunion is coming up?"
Ok, that was an odd way to start it. "Yeah?" I asked, raising an eyebrow to him. Maybe he was hoping to bring me along. Then he'd need to know what to call me to his friends. Boyfriend time, for sure.
"I just found out Mack is going to be there."
The bomb. I think I stopped breathing at that moment. "The Mack?" I asked, knowing how stupid the question was. There was only one that he'd be talking about. Panic mode kicked in when Greg nodded his head. So many questions to ask. Did I tell him not to go? Not to talk to Mack? Greg never invited me to go with him to the reunion, and I wasn't about to invite myself. Now that Mack was going to be there, that would make me look jealous.
Play it cool, Ivan. "OK," I said. I might have squeaked it. I don't know. I didn't know much of anything at that moment. Only one thing ran through my head.
This was way bad.
"So this Mack is bad news?" Sunjad asked me. Sunjad was my best friend since the first grade. Since the event, the Change or Gynocaust, or whatever they're calling it now, we'd never gone for each other. We were like brothers. It would have been freaky gross and wrong to sleep with him. I'd drawn that line, but he'd agreed with it. Of course, I'd been gay since I was a little tiny sperm, having mad crazy buttsex with all of the other little sperms in my dad's balls.
But Sunjad was straight, or had been up until the...thingy. You know, when the girls turned to dust and the boys started knocking each other up? Sunjad changed pretty fast. No wacky puritanical beliefs to keep him from going gay. No sir. My boy switched tracks the moment he saw the others were closed for good. Now, with me being gay and my best friend being straight, we'd already discussed me never ever sleeping with him, ever...ever. That last ever was his. I'd never really wanted him, so no biggie for me, right? So, for the longest time, I'd never had a single sexual thought about him. When he got his wiring redone? Nah, still nothing. I checked with him, of course, to make sure he wasn't going to be upset with me not jumping him. He seemed relieved. Fucker. Least he could have done was look rejected.
"Earth to Ivan," Sunjad said, waving his hand in my face.
"Sorry, just recapping for the studio audience," I said. He gave me a strange look, but I went on anyway. "No, Mack isn't bad news in the traditional sense. He's only the worst thing that could happen to the blissful union of Ivan and Greg."
"An ex?" Sunjad asked.
"Not exactly," I replied.
"Ivan!" Sunjad growled into my face as he grabbed both of my shoulders and shook them. "If you don't focus and give me a straight answer, I'm going home. Just start at the beginning."
"Right," I said, putting on my thoughtful face. "Here goes."
"Greg, like me, was always gay. Macklin Finley, like you, was straight. Unlike us, though, Greg was in love with Mack. When they were Sophomores in high school, Greg told Mack how he felt. Mack was all I figured' and let it drop, like nothing happened. After that, he treated the gay thing like it was no issue at all, and it never really came out of his lips. When it did, Mack would just shrug like it was nothing and say that he wasn't the same way. Then Mack spent Junior year in another state, breaking Gregs heart. When he came back Senior year, he had a girlfriend, a car, and was even more gorgeous than before he left.
"Here's where it gets really fun. Greg got along with the girl even better than he got along with Mack, and she took the best friend spot, while Mack did his straight guy stuff with his friends. Mack, of course, trusted Greg with his girlfriend, because...well, you know. The girlfriend, however, and this is a riot, fell in love with Greg. She confessed it to him one night during one of their hour-long gab-fests. Greg, as you might have guessed, was forced to out himself to Mack's girlfriend, and let her know that he was in love with her boyfriend, not her. Well, home girl was cool with that, and she and Greg became even better friends. She even shared their dirty stuff with Greg so he could live vicariously through her. Nice of her, right?
"Anyway, senior year ended, Mack went off to college, while Greg stayed in town doing the local university thing. Mack and his girl broke up, and Greg and Mack's girl also drifted apart. When Mack came home to visit, Greg had him all to himself. But Mack's life was drifting to his new life and away from Greg's, and Greg was exploring being out of the closet and in college, so he had plenty on his mind other than Mack.
"During one of Mack's final visits, they had a heart to heart. Greg let him know that he was like a brother to him. He would always love and support Mack if he needed it. However, there was only one thing that kept Greg's heart from completely breaking over Mack all those years. Mack was straight. They never dated because Mack wasn't wired that way. Greg told Mack that, if he ever found out Mack had dated or slept with a guy who wasn't Greg, his world would be crushed. And, if he did ever go gay, he'd better go to Greg."
Sunjad blinked at me a few times, his mouth open. "That was so sweet and romantic, and heartbreaking, all at the same time." Then he paused and his eyes got really big. "And really bad news, no matter what happens."
"Now you're getting it," I said, rolling my eyes. "If Mack has a boyfriend now, Greg loses it completely. If he doesn't have one, I lose Greg."
The whole next day, I still didn't know what to do, so I didn't do anything. Clever, huh? Top way to get what you want in the world is to sit on your ass and do nothing, right? Well, the day after that, I finally decided to call Greg and find out the deal.
"Hello?" The voice wasn't Greg's. Two guesses who it was, and both of them'll get you smacked.
"Hey, is Greg there?" I asked.
"Nah, he stepped out to pick up lunch. Can I take a message?"
"Who is this?" I had to know for sure. Maybe it was someone completely...
"Mack Finley," he said. "I'm an old friend of Greg's. Who is this?"
"Mack...," I said softly. "Er...uh...I'm Ivan, Greg's...uh...new friend, I guess." Smooth, Ivan. Real smooth.
"I don't recall Greg mentioning you, Ivan. I'll be sure to tell him you called, though," Mack replied. "Well, Ciao." Click. Click? He just said ciao and hung up? Who says ciao? OK, who outside of Italy or Brooklyn says ciao? Really.
I was pushing buttons to redial Greg's house before I realized what I was doing. Natural verbal bitch slap response. I stopped myself and hit cancel. He could just be one of those straight-to-the-point guys. No need to stay on the phone with awkward silences when everything needing to be said has been said. Yeah, I didn't believe that either. I really wanted to go over there and introduce myself to the guy and mark my territory. Figuratively. I'm so not peeing around Greg, ever...ever! That second ever was mine.
No, I just had to wait like a good little boy and pray for my man to call me. Oh, I was such a prison bitch right at that moment. I didn't do anything. No TV, no radio, no computer, and definitely no leaving the house for any reason at all. Nope, couldn't miss the call.
Turns out you can't miss something that never comes.
I cried myself to sleep.
Sunjad came and forced me to leave the house the next day. I was still camped by the phone. I think he might have picked me up and thrown me into the shower. I'm not sure. The cold water he turned on made me come to my senses. After reacting naturally, I quickly turned the hot water on and cleaned myself up. Then I took off my clothes and tried again. When I got out and put on some non-soaking clothes, I went to the living room where Sunjad was icing his nads.
"Grow up, I didn't kick you that hard," I said. "Besides, you had it coming." He glared at me and grabbed his coat.
"Come on," he wheezed, "we're going to Holleran's." Holleran's was a sports bar we went to a lot. Sunjad was a football fan. The American kind, not soccer. Actually, he liked soccer, too. Anyway, he drove us there and we went straight for the bar. I was down for getting smashed.
"Ivan?" Greg. Damn. Not prepared. Turning to face him. Neck hurts. Turning whole body now. Seeing Greg. Hot. Melting. Quick check. Still dry. Good. Noticing deity next to Greg. Mack? Has to be. Both of them staring. Crap. Must say something.
"Hey," I said with a half smile that probably looked more like a facial tick.
"Mack, this is Ivan, my...friend," Greg said. World ending in three, two, one... "Ivan, I'd like you to meet Mack. This is the old friend I was telling you about."
"Nice to meet you, Ivan," Mack said, reaching out to shake my hand. I took his hand automatically. The crushing force he applied brought me to my senses and I replied in kind.
"Yeah," I said. No, it wasn't nice to meet him. I never wanted to meet him. I wanted his pretty bitch-ass out of my life and away from my man.
"And this is Sunjad," Greg said, pleasantly oblivious to my insufferable internal torment. "He's been Ivan's friend as long as you've been mine." They shook hands. Sunjad smiled brilliantly, and I saw flashes of pain in Mack's eyes. Sweet. Go, Sunjad. Rah! "Hey guys, I gotta piss," Greg said. "Why don't you all get acquainted."
"Sure," Sunjad said. Apparently, he spoke for all of us, cuz Greg bolted after that. "So, Mack," Sunjad said with a grin, "where do you live now?"
Mack visibly relaxed. Inane questions about a person's life are always easy when you're not trying to hide anything. "Arizona, now, but I've been all over. My company doesn't keep me in one place for very long usually. Only a year tops, really. They've just changed my title, though, so I'm hoping I can finally put down some roots and settle."
"What do you do, then?" Sunjad asked sweetly. I knew he was up to something by his tone, but only I would know that.
"Computer systems analyst," Mack replied, obviously not seeing the trap Sunjad was laying. "I go into a company, get them running smoothly, and then I'm out. It's really a mix between computer repair man, efficiency expert, and problem solver."
Sunjad seemed to shake a bit. "I thought I could hold it till Greg came back, but I can't," he said. "I'll be right back." He took off for the bathroom. I was alone with Mack. Damn, the trap was for me, not Mack.
"Uh..." I said.
"I second that," Mack said with a small nervous chuckle. I joined him in it, and we relaxed slightly.
"You move so much," I said, finally. "Before the change, was there a girl in every city?"
Mack smiled. "Sometimes several," he said. "Not all at once, though. I'm not like that. I just never found the right girl, I guess. I couldn't find that special connection, you know?"
"The spark," I said.
"Yeah."
"After the change?" I asked. Then I caught myself. My face was heating to a nice fiery red. "Damn, that was really personal. I'm sorry. You so don't have to answer that."
"It's ok," he said. "I tried being celibate for a month or two, but it wasn't for me. So I did the switch. And you know what?"
"What?" I asked.
"Same damn thing," Mack said with a snort. "Lots of boyfriends, no real spark. But I keep trying." God help me, I was starting to like this guy. If he weren't a massive threat to my endangered relationship, I might have been able to be friends with him. "What about you?" he asked. "How long did you wait after the change to switch?"
"Me?" I gave a little chuckle. "I didn't switch. Gay from the womb. Sunjad only waited a few weeks, though."
"I got ya. So are you two together?" he asked. I knew the tone he was using. Now he was after info.
"No," I told him honestly, simply. It was my turn to make him sweat.
"So he still didn't return your love after he became gay?"
I laughed. "I was never in love with Sunjad. We were friends before and we are friends after. Why, are you thinking of returning someone's old love for you now?" There we were. That was the bomb.
"How much do you know?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.
"Everything," I said softly.
"How close are you and Greg?"
"Hey guys," Greg said, walking up to the table. I turned and smiled at Greg, who, in turn, smiled at Mack and passed him to sit on his other side, with Mack in between us. Mack exhaled the breath he had been holding. Yep, he wanted Greg, and was now convinced that Greg didn't want me. I was safe now, just Greg's friend. He didn't jump Greg or ask to leave or anything, and when Sunjad came back, he got us all a table and we had dinner. Well, they had dinner. I just picked at mine, sick to my stomach over what was going on. No more present day issues were discussed, just anecdotes from high school. That was for the best, cuz I wasn't saying much. After dinner, we said goodbye and I got into Sunjad's car, not really making eye contact with anyone. It took a while before Sunjad slipped into the driver's seat. Probably went to use the bathroom again. I didn't care. I was pretty numb to everything at that point.
"He never got your message," Sunjad said.
"Huh?" I asked. I was staring at the blackness beyond the window.
"Greg never got your message. Mack never gave it to him. I dont think he meant to, though. He doesnt seem like the vindictive type."
"I don't care any more," I said quietly.
"The hell you don't," Sunjad said. "I've known you way too long to believe that." He paused for a long time. "Shit. I want to tell you everything's going to be ok, but I can't. Greg's got to go through this and find out what he wants, and it might not be you."
I sniffled. "Sorry, Ivan," Sunjad said. "Damn it. There's no right answer here, is there? What if you talked to him, just let him know you're around still?"
"He doesn't want to talk to me now that Mack's here," I said sullenly.
There was a knock on the door before Sunjad could answer. I opened it to look right into Greg's eyes. Mack was...not there. Woo Hoo! "This is my cue to leave," Sunjad said, snagging his coat and busting out of the room.
When he was gone, Greg looked at me with half a smile and fear in his eyes. The boy was nervous? Why? "Do you hate me?" he asked.
"Hate isn't on the emotional playlist right now," I told him. "The top ten is too full of anguish, sorrow, and rejection. Hate had to be bumped for the pity party mix."
He didn't laugh. He looked like he half wanted to, though. Point for me. He didn't speak for a little bit. Didn't even look at me. "I'm sorry, Ivan," he said finally. "I really messed things up."
I wanted to jump into his arms and kiss him. Tell him everything was forgiven and we could have hot monkey make-up sex all over the floor. But I didn't. Apparently the top ten was over and song eleven was playing. I turned from him and walked over to the window, looking out over the city. "Yes, you did," I said softly.
There was another long pause. Several minutes of no one saying anything. "What did you come here for?" I asked finally, breaking the silence. He didn't answer me. I turned around and he wasn't there. The door was never closed when Sunjad left, and Greg had just walked out. "Fine, just leave without saying goodbye, asshole." I said, frustrated.
"Maybe I will if you keep calling me names," Greg said, stepping out from my kitchen with a short glass of water. He turned to see the open door and gave a chuckle. "You thought I just walked out?"
"Well, you didn't answer me and the door was open and we were fighting, and..."
"Breathe," he interrupted, then took a small sip. "I needed a drink. This is difficult for me. Probably no walk in the park for you, either."
"But what is this, Greg?" I asked. "You dumping me?"
"God I hope not," Greg said. "That's so not the way I want this to go." Really? Not with the dumping and the yelling and the screaming? I steadied my expression so I'd keep the frown, but now I was dancing and doing backflips inside. "Look, Sunjad pulled me aside last night and told me what you were going through and that I've been effectively ignoring you since Mack got here."
"He did, did he?" I had to remember to buy Sunjad something insanely expensive, like an island nation or a PS3.
"Yeah. I've been nervous for a while, and when Mack got here, I kinda latched onto him for support. I've been trying to dodge the issue, but dodged you in the process."
I smirked and sauntered sexily over to Greg, sitting across his lap. I slid the glass out of his hand and sipped the water. Not water! When did I buy vodka? When did I ever drink vodka? I shook out of my tangent. "Why Greg, what about me would make you nervous?" Part of his was definitely not nervous. I took another sip, actually tasting the drink. Not bad, really.
"Ivan," Greg said. "I love you."
Vodka sparkles when flying in a fine mist though the air.
Vodka also burns when it comes out your nose.
"Oh god, Ivan. Are you ok?" he asked, hunching over my coughing, sputtering, spasming body on the floor. He handed me some paper towels and I cleaned my face.
"Yeah," I croaked, sitting up again. "That hurt like hell." I shuddered remembering it.
"So?" he asked.
"So what?" I asked back, wiping vodka off of my shirt.
"So I just told you I love you. Any reaction that doesn't require first aid?" Oh yeah, he had said...
He loved me? Greg loved me? "What about Mack?" I asked.
"He had other ideas, which I didn't learn until this morning," Greg said. "I set him straight really fast. I told him that I had been a choice for him but he always picked every female on earth before me. If I was only going to be his fallback once all his other options were gone, that didn't fly with me. I'd much prefer a man who would have picked me first, regardless of all the other options."
"Damn straight," I said. "So what's he going to do now?"
Greg looked at the open door. "In about ten more minutes, Sunjad."
Author's note: Well, the blog seemed to work nicely for the last story. There was even a little interplay between readers, which is really what I was after. This story was posted 2 days ago to the blog, and I'm nearly done with next Monday's story, "Duce" which answers a question that's been asked of me several times about the new world. Also, the version of today's story that was posted to the blog has bonus info at the end (hint: check out the blog).
The blog: http://geocities.com/waterbearer99/blog.html My email, for those who wish to talk only to me: academygm@hotmail.com