Copyright Tim Hobson - all rights reserved.
The three-way with Beau's co-star Brett has left them all exhausted and hungry. The next morning, Beau eagerly performs to please Tim, but something is holding Tim back.
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GOING GAY PART 15
["Dinner, gentlemen?" I inquired. "I'm fucking starving!" Brett replied and Beau agreed, "Fucking always makes me hungry."]
Brett left right after dinner. "Early make-up call," he explained. Beau echoed, "I'd better get to bed now, too." With Brett gone and Beau sleeping in our bed, I sat quietly on the patio in a pair of boxer shorts. "Tim, my boy, you are now really all-in," I told myself. "You've been 'going gay' for too fucking long, so it's about time to face up to it: you ARE gay, you silly fucker!" I smiled to myself and sipped my Scotch-rocks.
The scene with Brett took three days of shooting, and then Beau was due a few days off. We lounged by the pool, Beau inspiring hard-ons in all the men seated in the lounge chairs. Most of them made no effort to conceal their excitement, and Beau strutted around showing off his perfect body like a high-fashion model on a runway. I just chuckled, enjoying the knowledge that they could all lust after him, but every night - and most days - I got to fuck him.
The next morning I was ready to do just that. I woke first and spent my usual ten minutes just gazing in astonishment at his magnificent nakedness and glorying in the fact that he was all mine. Then, Beau woke and headed for the bathroom to piss. He returned and stood by the bed with his morning wood in full glory. Naked, I stretched out full-length on my side of the bed and took in the magnificent young Adonis who was displaying himself for me.
"Like what you see?" he asked.
"You know I do. You're a real Greek god!"
"So, what would you like me to do?"
"Just jack it a while, and let me watch." With that, Beau lifted one hand and gently caressed the head of his cock. A drop of pre-come appeared, and he twirled it onto his finger. As he stretched it out, the thick fluid glistened in the early morning sunlight. Teasingly, he pulled it free and moved his finger to his lips, opening his mouth and slowly licking the joy-juice off his digit.
"Want some?" he asked provocatively.
"Please, lover-boy," I croaked hoarsely. He reached down, took another silky droplet and pointed his finger at my face. I opened my lips and he put his finger against my tongue, depositing his lubricating fluid into my eager mouth. I closed my lips around his finger as he removed it millimeter-by-millimeter, prolonging the sensation for my benefit.
"Delicious!" I exclaimed with a loving smile.
Beau then returned is attention to his hard-on. This time, he didn't linger on the head. Instead, he began to slide his foreskin down, exposing more and more of his firm eight-inch member. Forming a circle with his thumb and forefinger, he unveiled the full length by pushing his fleshy tegument toward his balls. Then he began to slowly slide it back up the length of his cock until it extended over and beyond the prepuce. Pulling it gently, he stretched his foreskin outward, drawing the hard dick after it.
"I envy you that magnificent piece of skin!" I exclaimed.
"And I'm sorry you'll never know how good it feels to have it!"
Beau repeated the up-and-down manipulation of his foreskin several times, then pushed it all the way down and grasped his prick with his whole hand. I was always amazed at how big the thing actually is. To bring home that reality, Beau took his other hand and placed in front of the first one, using both hands to encompass his massive poker. He began to jack with both hands - up and down, thrusting his hips forward and back as he did so. Involuntarily, he let a soft moan escape his throat. He was clearly enjoying working the scene for me, as I was loving watching him - a porn video, but live and just for me!
Next, he removed one hand from his cock and kept masturbating it with the other. He moved his free hand behind his back and turned side-on to me, so that I could see him in profile. He raised the hand from behind his back to his mouth and wet it. Returning it to his derriere, he pulled one ass cheek aside and straightened the finger, aiming it at his beautiful ass-pucker. Bending slightly forward and still jacking, Beau slowly inserted the moistened finger into his rectum, arching his back as he did so.
He then began a gentle motion. As he slid one hand down the full length of his dick, he leaned backward and pressed his finger deep into his asshole. Then, as he began riding his finger - as he pushed it into his ass, his hand slid down his cock, and when he took it out, the hand slid up. Finger in, hand up, finger out, hand down - it looked like his finger and cock were two ends of a pole that Beau was riding back-and-forth on1
Beau took his finger out of his ass and climbed in next to me in bed, but with his head at the foot of the bed. He stretched out and lay flat on his back. His hardness stood up like a flag pole and he slowly began to stroke it again. I lay in ecstasy, unable to move, lest I might disturb the image before me. As Beau jacked, he sometimes pointed his cock right at me, while at other times, he pointed it toward his own head. He was giving me every possible perspective from which to admire and lust after his manhood.
Then he let go of his cock, lifted his knees and curled his legs toward his head, exposing his man-pussy to me. Using both hands, Beau spread his ass cheeks as I reveled in the pure sexuality that he was revealing to me. His perfect pucker was completely hairless, and it seemed to quiver in anticipation of being filled with my ever-growing cock. He used one middle finger to tease it from side to side and top to bottom. He inserted the finger just one joint's depth, then pulled it out. Again, to the second joint of his finger. Out again. He continued this until he finger was fully inside him and the back of his hand was all that I could see. I could tell by the way its muscled flexed that he was twirling his finger in circles, and the memory of Beau doing that to me almost made me come.
Then, for reasons I can't begin to explain or understand, my mind was filled with unwelcome thoughts.
"How much have you paid him so far?" "A 'daddy' flick is about an older man and a younger stud." "It's always about lust, never love."
I looked at Beau with a mix of raging lust and cold trepidation. I said nothing. Much as I tried to banish them, doubts continued to fill my silly brain.
Beau looked at me in sudden confusion. "What's the matter? You don't feel like it today? It's OK if you don't."
"No, I haven't changed my mind at all. In fact, I'm aching to do it, but..."
"But what?"
"Well, I keep coming back to the idea that you're a handsome, sexy young man, and I'm an old worn-out piece of fucking flab. I can't get it into my head that there's any reason why you would want to have sex with me, when you've got Jimmy, Brett, and probably dozens of other willing partners your own age, who've gotta turn you on more than I do."
With that, he got out of bed and stood up in front of me. "Come to me." He said gently. I complied, and he put his arms around me affectionately.
"Listen, Tim. Nobody can explain why they're attracted to another person. There's so many possible reasons, and chances are they couldn't find the words, anyway. And you're NOT old, because your heart is young and full of love. You're not flabby, either. You've kept in great shape, almost effortlessly, which really pisses me off because I have to work so goddamn hard not to put on the pounds!" He chuckled as he said that.
He paused and lifted my chin so that I looked into his eyes. "And it's not that I have some kind of fucking 'daddy' hangup, either, if that's what you're thinking. When I look at you, all I see is another man: a handsome, mature man who cares about me, and I care about him. It's that simple, and also that complicated. I'm damned if I can explain, so you'll have to take it at face-value. I just fucking care about you."
He looked deep into my eyes. Then he moved his mouth to mine and we kissed deeply for a while. When he pulled away, he continued, "I know that's not much of a fucking reason, but, shit, it's all I can say."
I was silent for a while, still in his arms with my eyes fixed on his. It dawned on me that this was a real moment of truth, and I needed to respond to his heart-felt declaration.
"I care about you, too, Beau. I have for a long time, I think you know that. But I wouldn't let myself admit it, because it just seemed impossible that it could ever work between us. I hate to keep bringing it up, but I'm old enough to be your father - hell, your fucking grandfather! I so desperately want this to work between us, but a part of me keeps telling me it's impossible, or that it's wrong somehow."
I felt his arms go limp. Then he dropped them to his sides. "So, what do you want to do?" he asked, looking forlornly at me.
"Right now, I want you to fuck me. It's the one thing that sets my mind at ease."
Beau looked away, gazing out the window. After a long pause, he spoke. "No, Tim. I can't do it. It wouldn't be right."
"Why not?" Tears began to fill my eyes.
"We have to face facts," Beau said matter-of-factly. "You have real, and completely understandable, concerns - doubts - and going ahead with such an intimate connection while those doubts are hanging over us would take all the happiness out of doing it."
For some reason, I was getting angry. I tried to control myself, but I blurted out, "Hell, you fuck total strangers to make your goddamn porno videos!"
Startled, Beau took a quick step back. His face paled and a tear appeared in the corner of one eye. "Tim!" he said accusingly. "How can you say that?"
Equally surprised by my outburst, I took a step toward him, but he backed further away.
"Oh, Beau, I'm sorry." Now I started to cry openly. "I have wanted nothing so much as to give myself to you completely, and I love everything about you - not just the sex, but your laugh, your smile, your cute way of winking at me..."
"But that's not enough?"
I didn't know how to respond. Anything I might say at this point was guaranteed to just make things worse. "Come. Sit." I said, indicating the couch. But Beau moved to a chair opposite me, so there was a coffee table between us.
We sat and stared at each other across the obstacle of that insignificant piece of furniture. "I sure as hell don't know what the fuck is happening right now," I began, then trailed off. I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Beau spoke softly, his voice trembling. "I think we both know: either you are so full of doubt about yourself, or, in the back of your mind, you think I did all this to trick you, or seduce you, or steal from you somehow."
"No! No!" I shouted, rising off the couch. "I know you too well to ever think that, goddammit! Oh, Beau, this is breaking my heart." I was full-on sobbing now. Beau was not far from it. He stood and we came into each other's arms beside the little table. We hugged each other tightly, our bodies shuddering with weeping.
And then I had the horrifying sense that I was comforting a little boy - a crying child. I knew at that moment that he could never be my lover, my equal, my partner in life. There would always be 50 years of history between us, and no matter how old Beau was, I would always be that much older than he.
I froze. Beau sensed it immediately. "Tim?" He looked at me with alarm.
"I think I'd better sit down," I said weakly, falling into his arms. I looked up into his eyes, and all I saw was his love for me, then blackness.
Stay tuned to https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/beginnings/going-gay/ for the next installment!