Going Straight; Staying Clean
Escape
Looking back over my 21 years of life no one could say that it was anything less than a disaster. Even my birth had been difficult and I think that my parents never forgave the suffering I put them through. I had a strict Christian upbringing where discipline and moral rectitude were paramount. I was an only child and I am not surprised because I am sure that my parents were so appalled by the evils of sex that they were unable to bring themselves to have intercourse more than once. From my earliest days I knew that sex was dirty and to be avoided.
The beating after my first wet dream was imprinted on my brain. I did not understand what I had done wrong or why I was being punished but I knew I was a dirty pervert. Every involuntary ejaculation was punished and guilt was deeply embedded into every evil thought and each erection was certain damnation.
Finally, at 18 I had broken free. The message had got through to me that there was a life outside and I was not living it. As so often happens with a rebellion, things went to the other extreme. I left home and moved to the city. This was more an escape than a simple leaving. I had it all planned and my parents suspected nothing. I was away and out of their clutches before they knew and could stop me.
I was naive and had no idea of the realities of life. Maybe my parents had perverted my childhood but they had also protected me from the dangers and pitfalls of existence. Secretly I had managed to save a little money and had rented a room but I had no job and little chance of finding one.
I soon got in with a bad crowd and they introduced me to drink. When I drank, I felt so free and relaxed something all but unknown to me at home. All too soon I added so-called 'recreational drugs' to my evening entertainment schedule; it all seemed so innocent and pleasant to me. The more I drank and used the more I got into debt and the more I needed the oblivion that pharmaceuticals could provide.
Soon I had a habit as big as all out doors and was stealing to feed it. Despite being high most of the time, I could not break free of my sexual conditioning. At 21, I was still a virgin. I could not even bring myself to masturbate; the years of conditioning were so deep.
Eventually, the inevitable happened and I was arrested. Strangely, I was not apprehended while stealing vodka; I was just passed out in a public place after a drug-induced frenzy. Causing a public nuisance got me a night in the cells but much more too. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Because I was unconscious when arrested, a doctor had to be called to examine me. By the time the medic arrived I was conscience and reasonably articulate. Doctor Mathews was the first person to show me any real human kindness. He asked me a few questions about my life and my upbringing. He did a quick physical examination and paid particular attention to my arms, checking for needle marks. He found none; things had not gone that far - yet. He made detailed notes of what drugs I used and touched on my sexual history. Although I said very little he seemed to get the picture very quickly.
He pronounced me fit for detention and told me that I would be held in the cells overnight and released in the morning but expected to return either to receive an official caution or for a court appearance. He also offered me another lifeline. He worked for a charity that ran a drug rehabilitation centre. If I were to volunteer to submit to the rehab program, the police would take a sympathetic view of my case and I would be released into his custody. I had reached a new low point in my life, if I thought I was bad off with my parents I now realised I had just exchanged one prison for another. The Doctor offered me a chance and I would take it.
Rehabilitation
The arrangements were made and Doctor Matthews took me immediately to the hostel. We left the city and travelled a while into the surrounding countryside. Turning down a side road, we were plunged into complete darkness cut only by the sharp beams of the car headlamps. We arrived at large iron gates fixed into a high stonewall. They opened as we approached, perhaps electronically operated, I could not tell. We drove up a long drive finally arriving at the front of a huge stately manor house. We got out of the car and approached the covered doorway. Without knocking, the door opened allowing light to flood out into the darkness of night.
A young man, about the same age as me, stood framed in the doorway. As my eyes got used to the bright light I could see he wore a short white jacket with a badge on the pocket. I quickly read 'Staff Nurse Darren Jackson'. His dark hair was gelled and spiky and he had a warm and friendly face. The Doctor introduced me to Darren and left him to take me to my room.
I was stunned at the whole place; it was more like a luxury hotel than the hostel I had expected. I was taken to a large bed sitting room, basic but lacking nothing. Darren told me to make myself at home and he would be back shortly. The bed was made up as if I was expected, but the cupboards and drawers were empty. I looked around and found a bathroom and toilet leading off my room. All I owned were the clothes I stood up in and they were little more than rags. Had I fallen on my feet or merely jumped out of the frying pan into the fire?
There was a light tap on the door and it opened, Darren entered with a small white tray. He said that Doctor Matthews had made his initial recommendations for my treatment and it would begin immediately. There were a number of tablets to take to help me on the road to rehabilitation. I swallowed each under the watchful eye of Staff Nurse Darren. Darren said that he was aware of my 'circumstances' and that I should remove all my clothes now and go to bed. In the morning, I would be provided with some temporary clothing and eventually my own set of basic but serviceable garments.
Darren waited; evidently, I was expected to strip in front of him. I removed each 'rag' and handed it to him. I stood naked and self-conscience before him. He looked me up and down and I shuddered at my immodesty, my hands covered my genitals. The nurse suggested that I might like to shower before bed; it was more an order than a suggestion. I do not know if it was his voice or the medication but I was feeling more relaxed and somehow compliant. I went to the bathroom as instructed and found that the shower was a large, open tiled area, the whole floor area draining into the centre. I stood under the jet and adjusted it to a soft warm rain. I soaped and washed and somehow I felt like I was washing away the past leaving me clean for my new future.
I left my penis and arse until last, as always I hesitated even to touch myself there. As I soaped my shaft and pulled my foreskin back I became fully aware that Nurse Darren was watching me. I blushed deep crimson and quickly rinsed my genitals turning away from his gaze. I used the huge fluffy white towels to dry myself before going back to the bedroom. Although I still felt the need, I did not try to cover myself. As it happened the room was empty, Darren was gone. I slid in-between the crisp white cotton sheets and sank into a deep sleep.
I must have slept deeply as I had the most vivid dream. I lay naked on the bed; my cock was hard and throbbing. My foreskin is long and usually covers my glans even when erect but in my dream it was fully retracted. My moist glans exposed to the cool air, but worse, I was totally exposed. I felt my naked immodesty was wrong but somehow less so than I would have in the past. My feelings of guilt were being quashed by intense sexual stimulation. I was very aroused and close to cumming. I felt pre-cum oozing from my piss slit. Standing on one side of the bed was Nurse Darren and on the other, Doctor Mathews. Both were naked and stroking their large hard cocks. They looked at me and at each other as they stroked harder and faster. They both had beautiful well-defined bodies covered in a light sheen of sweat. Both were smooth having no body hair what so ever. Their cocks were a matched pair, both eight inches of thick uncut man meat standing proud from their hairless groin.
Never in my wildest wet dreams had I been so excited and felt so involved in the action of the dream. With a grunt both men pumped out jet after jet of spunk all landing on me lying between them. The musky smell of cum filled my head and my cock throbbed and jerked as their hot jizz dripped down my shaft and onto my balls. Without any further stimulation, I felt my balls tighten and my load pumped from my pink piss hole lips, opened wide by the force. The feeling of release was tremendous and my man juice shot into the air then fell back onto me, mixing with the sticky loads already pumped out onto me. It was the best orgasm of my life and for the first time I enjoyed it without guilt. The dream faded and the rest of the night passed without event.
A new day
Sun light filled my room and I gently awoke. The surroundings were strange to me and my memory of yesterday was hazy but I knew I was in some sort of rehabilitation clinic. I was hot and sweaty and threw back the bedclothes; the smell of cum was heavy in the air and my body still sticky with my nocturnal emission. It was such a vivid dream and I have never shot such a huge load before. As usual, my cock was painfully hard, as I needed to piss. For a second I considered wanking off but I quickly put it out of my head, it was wicked! I went into the bathroom and showered, removing all traces of my sinful dream.
When I came out of the bathroom, Darren was waiting for me. I felt no shame at my nakedness; it did not enter my head to hide myself from him. Laid out on the bed were some clothes. He told me to put them on. Firstly, there was a jock strap, clearly not new but clean and white. I looked enquiringly at Darren; he said that physical activities were a large part of the program and that all patients dressed accordingly. There was a white vest and trainers to match. I slipped on the jock and it fitted perfectly, the pouch hugged my cock and balls giving noticeable support. In fact, my equipment was rounded up and pointed out; my cock and balls outlined by the cotton material. Again, I looked questioningly at Darren but he just nodded approvingly. I was very conscience that even with the vest on my arse was 'on show' and exposed, the two white elastic straps framing my arse crack rather than covering it. I asked if there were shorts or joggers but the Nurse assured me that the jock and vest were standard uniform at the rehabilitation centre.
It was time for my first communal meal, I would meet the other patients and they would see me. Nurse Darren led me into the large refectory and I found six guys seated around one oblong oak table; all my age and dressed exactly as me. I blushed as they all turned to look at me, I was very exposed and the strap did nothing to cover my modesty. Darren introduced me to the guys, they seemed friendly, and we proceeded to tuck into a very substantial breakfast. There was much friendly banter and I felt included even though I could contribute little being the 'new boy'. By the end of the meal, I felt more 'at home' and as all the guys were dressed the same, my embarrassment was lessened.
After the meal, Doctor Mathews appeared with a clipboard and gave out the day's program. The morning would mainly be taken up with physical exercise according to individual fitness training programs worked out for each guy. The afternoon was taken up with therapy and medical treatments; again each guy having his own tailored program. Evenings were free for social interaction and entertainment. Because I was new, my first day was assessment and orientation.
I met Nurse Darren in the gym. I was surprised to see that he had changed and was now dressed the same as me; I felt more relaxed and less self-conscience now his formal nurse's uniform was gone. As well as being the senor nurse at the centre, he was a qualified personal trainer and was to assess my physical condition and work out a plan for my development to complement my rehabilitation. I peddled the bike until I thought my heart would burst. After a brief rest, I rowed the machine until my arms and legs ached. Again, I rested then Darren spotted for me, adding weights until he gauged my limit. Lying on my back straining I realised the closeness of Darren's jock pouch. I could see the outline of his dick and smell his manly aroma. Fresh masculine sweat mixed with the unmistakable musk of uncut cock. I wondered why this should pass through my mind but I was too taken up with the weights to let it bother me. Darren monitored my heart rate after each set of exercises and then again, after each rest period, all was noted onto my chart.
After Darren had made his assessment, we went to the locker room to wash off the sweat before lunch. We were naked in a flash, peeling off our damp jock and vest. For the first time I saw Darren naked, I did a double take; he was exactly the same as I remembered from my wet dream. Sure, his cock was not hard, the foreskin just covering the defined glans but in every other respect he was the same. His body was totally free of body hair just as in my dream. Side by side, we walked into the white tiled communal shower. As we showered, my eyes kept looking at his perfect body; the water sprayed and dripped from his smooth skin. I became aroused and felt blood filling my cock; deeply embarrassed by my reaction I rushed out of the shower, dried off and went to lunch.
Along with lunch, most of the guys, including me, had medication. If the others were like me, the craving was strong and I consumed the drugs with relish. Almost immediately I felt better, I did not know what the tablets were but it was what I needed. I felt good again and ready to face the afternoon.
Therapy
Doctor Mathews sat behind a large old-fashioned writing desk. His office was not that of a doctor but looked like an old library. From floor to ceiling were shelves of dusty old books. I sat on the chair by his desk and he moved his chair around to sit next to me. He explained that initially my therapy would be with him alone but later there would be group sessions with the other guys. He began asking me about my life in great detail and made many notes. I have never talked so much in all my life and every personal detail poured out unrestrained. His questions subtly turned to sexual matters and I found that I was able to tell him things that I had tried not even to think about in the past. Hours passed and eventually the Doctor suggested that I would benefit from hypnotherapy. I readily agreed and placed myself completely in his hands.
I must have been a good subject as Doctor Mathews began to speak softly to me, telling me to relax and concentrate on his voice. Over and over again he chanted the subtle instructions and that was all I remembered until he snapped me out of it.
Nearly an hour had passed but it felt like a second to me. I felt refreshed and invigorated, as if a weight had been lifted from me. I left the office with a new spring in my step and a new out look on life. I was looking forward to a social evening with the guys.
Evening Association
I arrived in the common room just in time for another round of medication. We all popped our pills and swilled them down with a glass of juice. I so wanted to chat with the guys and get to know them better but I suddenly felt very weary. It had been a very busy day, training all morning and therapy all afternoon; I was still in the grips of addiction too. I knew I just had to go to bed; there was nothing else for it. I made my excuses and left for my room. All the way to my room I felt my eyes wanting to close and my arms and legs feeling heavy and difficult to move. I got to my room and slipped off my trainers, I struggled to remove the vest but the jock fell to the floor once I pulled the broad elastic waistband over my hips. I fell onto the bed and as soon as my head touched the pillow I was asleep.
I don't know how long I slept before the dream started; again, like the night before, it was so real. Although I felt dreamy, everything was so real.
As I came into the dream I opened my eyes to find myself in the common room. All the guys were there including Nurse Darren, they were all naked. I myself was nude and laying in the centre of the floor. Although I knew that I could move if I wanted to I just did not want to move. I tilted my head back and saw the smooth body of Doctor Mathews coming towards me. He knelt down by my head and leaned in close. He began whispering in my ear, those same words that I had heard that very afternoon. Again, I could hear them but they seemed to go directly into my brain without me understanding what he was saying. I understood that what was going to happen was good and not to be resisted. I would feel only pleasure and release, pleasure and release, pleasure and release.
I felt my ankles being gripped and I looked down. Two guys knelt either side of me and had taken hold of my legs, lifting them up and holding them apart. Pillows were placed under my lower back to raise my arse exposing my hole for all to see. My cock was not just hard; it was rock solid and throbbing sending near orgasmic sensations to my brain. I looked from man to man, each muscled body smooth and hairless, each with a massive hard cock.
Darren appeared, framed between my raised legs. His angelic face dipped down and I felt a warm wet feeling on my hole. He licked my arse and pressed into my tight cherry hole with his tongue. Repeatedly he pressed against me until I relaxed and then he tongue fucked me. I squirmed and moaned in pleasure as the rimming continued but the guys held me firm. Then I was empty.
For a moment I felt only the cold air on my spit-lubed hole then it was replaced by something bigger and harder than a tongue. I could see Darren between my legs and I knew that his cock that was entering me. Although he was big and I was a virgin my arse opened to the insistent pressure, my brain was telling me that it was the right thing to do. Slowly he pushed into me, sliding his full 8 inches into my virgin fuck cute. I should have been in pain but I felt nothing but pleasure, from the moment his glans passed my ring every move he made sent new waves of ecstatic pleasure through my body.
I felt his weighty balls slap against me and I knew I had taken his full length, his smooth skin touching my arse cheeks. He rested for a moment and I savoured the feeling of being stretched wide open, I tingled. No modesty entered my head, no hesitation at the giving or receiving of sexual gratification, only pleasure and release.
Darren began to fuck me, slowly at first then faster. Each and every stroke brought me a mini orgasm. How I had not shot my load I did not know because I seemed to be having one long climax. Pre-cum poured from my cock like a tap but something held me back from full orgasm. Darren gasped and I felt him grow larger inside my tight hole. Hot cum flooded into me and I felt it anointing my cherry, hot yet soothing. Some seeped back along Darren's cock and dripped down my arse feeling wet and sticky as it did. Finally, he finished shooting and slowly withdrew his still rigid organ from my newly deflowered man pussy. Without hesitation, his position was taken by one of the other guys. I noticed his cock was larger, a huge organ and a body to match. He was tightly cut and the veins stood out purple and pulsing on his shaft. The bell end was dark and swollen, the piss lips parted slightly, ready to shoot. My battered hole was loose and open, Darren's cum acting as lube for the massive glans. Gladly I took the new cock inside me and as his cock head rubbed my prostate with each pass I was taken to new heights of pleasure.
One by one, each of the guys took turns to fuck me. Cock after cock thrusting into gaping arse-hole. Load after load of spunk was pumped into me until it ran like a river out of me and onto the floor below. Finally, Doctor Mathews took up position; his was the hardest cock yet. He entered me quickly and in one thrust. Even though I had been repeatedly fucked I felt every movement he made. He found places inside me none of the other guys had reached. His very presence inside me was delight, every thrust an orgasm; yet still I had not cum.
Doctor Mathews stopped thrusting with his cock deep inside me, he throbbed and pumped out jet after jet of creamy jizz. As his orgasm began, he spoke one word 'CUM' and as if by magic, a dam burst within me. A deep grunt escaped my throat as I shot; the first spurt went well over my head as did the second, the third and forth landing on my face and I lost count how many landed on my chest. I did not believe my balls held so much cum. Even after I had stopped shooting, my cock throbbed and dry pumped as my ecstasy continued.
I felt the dream ending or maybe the orgasm was so intense that I was passing out, either way the room began to spin and I drifted back into deep sleep.
Once again, the morning sun streaming in through my bedroom window caused me to wake up. I felt good; better than I had felt in years, for the first time in my life I was looking forward to a brand new day and a brand new life. I vaguely remembered the dream and it was pleasing to me to think of it. My morning erection was tenting the sheet that covered me and immediately I wanted to jerk off. No hesitation about touching myself, no feeling of guilt, I just wanted to cum and cum hard. I moved in the bed, opening my legs to give me better access; it was then that I noticed I was lying on a damp spot. I pulled off the sheet and got out of bed. The movement caused me to notice the ache in my arse, not pain but an uncomfortable feeling, really almost a pleasant irritation. I reached around to see if I could feel anything. I pulled my cheeks apart and pressed my finger into my bruised hole. It slipped in easily, cum oozed out, and dribbled down my legs. My finger found my prostate and stroked it, every touch magnified in my throbbing cock. My other hand gripped my shaft and moved fast. Pre-cum was already leaking from my piss slit and made a squelching sound as my foreskin moved relentlessly back and forth. The smell and sensation of sex filled my mind and my body as I ejaculated. Rope after rope of my sperm pumped out across the room to my great delight and satisfaction.
The Lesser of Two Evils
I knew what Doctor Mathews had done to me and for me. Over the weeks and months I was at the rehabilitation centre, he weaned me off drugs and I was clean and stayed that way. There was a price to pay; I was no longer addicted to drugs but I was addicted to sex. By myself with a dildo, with a man, fucking and sucking, with a football team gang fucking me I did not care as long as it was sex.
Doctor Mathews did me and all the other guys that passed through his centre a huge favour and we are eternally grateful to him. Heroin, cocaine, ecstasy - forget it! There is no high as good or as lasting as a mouth and arse full of hot gooey man jizz.
The End
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