Wednesday
Josh called me as promised last night after his parents went to bed. I was hard as a rock just waiting for him to call. We talked about school and how our day went. He don't seem to volunteer anything, unless I ask, I am confused about this, it makes me feel like he is keeping something he don't want me to know about. So, I ask Josh about the girl he said he was friends with. He said He and Sam (first time He referred to her by name) were recognized as a couple at school now.
My rock hard cock went to a wet noodle immediately. I suddenly got this sinking feeling in my gut. He went on to say He and Sam were going to a movie Saturday and bowling after the movie. I didn't say any thing because I knew he would hear in my voice the way I felt. I get tears in my eyes very easy as Josh knows and is reflected in my voice. He went on to say He and Sam were going to some kind of discussion group thingy Sunday in another town. The school was taking them on a bus and they would be spending the night. He would be rooming with three other guys. When I could finally get my voice back, I asked him why Sam was going. He said she was on his team. I could tell from the sound of his voice he thought he was hurting me, but didn't say anything to indicate he knew. He told me he would take his cell phone and find a way to call me so we can stay in touch. This made me feel better although inside I felt something wasn't going to be the same anymore.
We talked for a while longer and I thought if we can have phone sex again I might be able to get to sleep. We talked about what we wanted to do to each other when we could actually get together. I was hard again, I ask him if he was and he said he was getting there. After some more sexy talk we were able to get off together.
I wish I wasn't the jealous type and didn't love so deeply then maybe I could handle disappointments better. Josh always tells me he has to study after we hang up, yet he had been studying all evening while we were on the Internet. Can anyone tell me whats wrong with me? Is it common to doubt someone you love so deeply with all your heart and soul? Will I survive this damnable age of confusion? I guess I will ask Gramps, he has a way of explaining things to me that tends to make me feel I will be OK.
Josh, when you read this, just remember you are the one that told me to write down my feelings. I hope you still love me after reading this.
Josh said I could call him on his lunch today if I could sneak out of class, you know the first thing I am going to say, "How are you and Sam today?"
I called Josh at lunch, when I ask the above question he said they were doing good. Then with a lump in my throat I asked "are you and her getting serious?" He answered "yeah kinda" "we are planning on doing stuff this weekend". I heard him say to someone in the background "hi Sam" "I'm talking to my cousin". Then he said to me "can I call you back?" I was thinking he had to get somewhere private, I said "when". He said after school, I said "oh OK". We said good bye, neither saying I love you as we always ended our conversations. Oh this fucking age of confusion, why can't it be over with.
Josh called me when he got home from school, I just don't know how to describe what happens to me when he calls. My heart pounds, I start sweating and get very nervous. Is that a normal reaction when anyone gets a phone call from the one they love.
We talked about when we get together, party, party and sucking and fucking all night and day. Well it sounds great anyway. We figure the soonest we can get together is spring break. Josh said his parents wouldn't let him stay out at night, he could be with me during the day when they are at work. That was the end of the party idea. I wonder what will happen so we can't have fun sex. I am sure something will happen, that's just teen age life.
Josh can't get on line until later tonight, he has to go to church. He teaches two and three year old kids about the bible every Wednesday night.
Anyway Josh promised good phone sex tonight, I will let you know if he did in the next chapter.
Gramps 05
Gramps returned to Dallas and classes after taking Paul home. On his way back to Dallas, he thought of all the good times he and Paul had together. He thought as tears ran down his cheeks, He and Paul would never be the same again. He felt in his gut that Paul was going to move on with Pat. By the time he got back to his hotel room, he was tired and depressed, didn't feel like eating and just went to bed, cried himself to sleep.
The next morning Gramps was sad, depressed and lonely. He couldn't eat any breakfast so he just went on to class.
Gramp's class consisted of all ages as it was an engineering course required by the FCC (Federal Communications Commission). Upon completion of the course, they were given a test by the FCC to obtain one of three types of license. Gramps was going for the First Class Radio Telephone License. This type was required to work as an engineer in radio or television stations.
When Gramps got in class, his sadness and depression showed, the man sitting at the desk next to him, ask what was the matter with him today, you are usually a happy sort. Gramps looked over at him, he looked to be a fatherly type man in his fifties about six foot four inches and thin. Gramps told him he had taken his buddy back home and was left alone in his hotel room. The man told Gramps that his roommate had also left that weekend and if Gramps wanted to save the expense of a hotel room he could share his motel room. Gramps being lonely and naive thought this a good idea.
Gramps moved into the man's motel room that evening, not wanting to stay in the hotel room he had shared with Paul. Gramps was still depressed and didn't want to go eat when the man ask him to go. Gramps said he was just going to watch TV and lay around. When the man came back from eating, he had a six pack of beer and brought Gramps a sandwich. Gramps managed to eat the sandwich and drank a beer.
The man (Gramps couldn't remember his name) and Gramps finished off the six pack. Gramps was laying across the bed looking sad when the man said I know what will make you feel a lot better. Gramps said I don't think anything can make me feel better at this point in my life. The man said will you let me try and Gramps said I don't care, I can't feel any worse. The man told Gramps to get ready for bed and lay cross ways on the bed on his stomach. Gramps did that and being tired and light headed from the beer was half asleep. Suddenly Gramps felt something cold and oily being poured on the back of his legs. He jumped and said what is that. The man said it is baby oil, just relax I will rub it in and you will see how much better it makes you feel. The man rubbed the oil into Gramp's legs and he thought that does feel good and relaxing. The man then poured some oil on his back and shoulders, begin massaging and rubbing the oil into Gramps back. Gramps thought he was in heaven , it was so relaxing and really felt great.
The man spread towels beside Gramps and told him to roll over on the towels on his back. Gramps begin to wonder why anyone would want to do this to him, maybe the man feels sorry for him and just wants to make him feel better. The man started with his legs, doing as he had done the back side. The man then straddled Gramps rubbing the oil on his chest paying more attention to his tits and under arms. Gramps had his eyes closed enjoying the great feeling, when as the man bent over, Gramps thought he could feel the man's hard dick against him.
The man crawled off and ask Gramps to turn back on his stomach, then he ask if it was alright to lower Gramps under ware so he could oil his butt. Gramps wasn't sure about this but said OK anyway. The man seem to spend more time on his butt than anywhere else and this was a much smaller area.
After a while the man asked him to turn over again so he could get the front side. Gramps had been fighting himself to keep from getting a hard on, because the massaging felt great. Gramps hesitated making sure his dick was soft and then turned on his back, as he did he slightly opened one eye to see what the man was doing. Gramps saw the man staring at his crotch and the man had a hard on. Gramps said he had never seen a dick that big before, Paul had seven inches, but this man was a lot bigger than Paul. Gramps quickly closed his eye again, he didn't want his dick to get hard and have the man think he was "queer".
Gramps thought the man was spending a lot more time on the crotch area than he had on the rest of his body combined. He would oil and massage Gramp's balls, massage and rub Gramp's un cut dick and groin area. Gramps was thinking of every nasty thing he could to keep from getting hard. The man was straddling Gramp's legs all this time. Gramps peeked out of one eye to look at the man, his dick was sticking about three or four inches above the waist band of his under ware. Gramps quickly closed his eye and wondered what the man was going to do next, he was getting concerned.
Finally Gramps said he needed to get to sleep and started to pull up his under ware. The man said wait we have to wipe the oil off before you get in bed. The man had Gramps stand up and take his under ware off so not to get oil on them, then took a towel and wiped the oil off Gramps body. The man left Gramp's crotch and butt until last. He wiped the oil from Gramps semi hard dick and balls spending more time than necessary.
The man was on his knees in front of Gramps, reached around with both hands and the towel and started wiping Gramp's ass and crack. While the man was doing this his face was touching Gramp's dick. Gramps just looked straight ahead not knowing what else to do, he could feel the man's lips kinda kiss his dick and crotch as he rubbed his back side. Gramps was starting to get hard, so he fell back on the bed, reached for his under ware and put them on. As Gramps sit on the edge of the bed, the man stood up with his crotch even with Gramp's face. Gramps got a good look at the size of this man's dick before crawling under the covers.
Gramps was tired and confused about what was happening to him and quickly went to sleep. Sometime in the night Gramps woke up and was scared to move. The man was sucking Gramp's dick, it had became hard in his sleep. Gramps didn't know what to do, he had never been sucked by a man old enough to be his grandfather. So Gramps just pretended to be asleep, the feelings he was getting was making it very hard to not respond.
Gramps thought that the man really liked what he was doing, so he decided to respond by slowly fucking the man's mouth. Gramps said the man must have liked that because he grabbed his butt forcing his dick down the man's throat. Gramps said he had never been sucked like that before and cum in the man's mouth. The man had a box of Kleenex by the bed, he took a Kleenex spit my cum in it and then went back and licked and sucked any remaining cum from Gramp's dick. Nothing was said they both went to sleep.
A couple hours later Gramps was woke up again by weight on him. The man was on top of Gramps with his big dick between Gramp's legs fucking him. Again not knowing what to do Gramps pretended to sleep. The man started sucking on Gramp's tits moving up to his neck and over his mouth. Gramps didn't react, just pretended to sleep. The man kept this up and Gramp's dick was hard as a rock, he knew the man had to know he was awake but neither said a word. Suddenly the man exploded all over Gramps causing Gramps to explode again. Gramps said it was the stickiest mess he had ever been in, but it had really felt great.
The next morning, Gramps thought he knew why the man's room mate had moved out on him. Gramps thought about what he should do about this situation, he had only had sex with someone he loved. There could be no love with this man he still loved Paul.
The man told Gramps he had a wife and family back home in west Texas and was the manager of a radio station. He hinted at offering a job to Gramps if he wanted to move to west Texas. Gramps told him his life and friends were in north Texas.
Gramps decided to stay at the motel with the man, it was free and better than a lonely hotel room. The man was delighted to have Gramps stay. He pampered and treated Gramps really special. Gramps had never been treated this way in his whole life. Gramps said it didn't take a very smart person to figure out he was doing it for sex.
Gramps said he learned a lot about "queer" sex in those weeks. There seem to be something new every night. The man wanted to fuck Gramps real bad, but he told the man he wasn't going to have any thing that big stuck up his ass. The man didn't try that, but Gramps said he stuck it every where else. He even fucked Gramp's feet and when he cum, it shot all the way to Gramp's face and chest. While he was fucking Gramp's feet, he was bent over sucking on Gramp's dick, he shot off in the man's mouth. The man slid up Gramp's body through his cum with Gramp's cum in his mouth, kissed Gramps on the mouth sharing his own cum with him.
After three weeks without seeing or talking to Paul, Gramps wanted to see him really bad. On the week end he went up to see Paul. Paul wasn't very interested to see Gramps as he was going steady with Pat. Gramps went to see Mary Beth, she was really happy to see him, she kept kissing and hugging him. He spent the whole week end with her, her parents wouldn't let him sleep in the house on the one night he was there. Gramps slept in his car in the driveway. He only got to see Paul for a little while, Gramps said Paul seem to just blow him off.
Gramps headed back to Dallas, alone, tears running down his cheeks feeling rejected by his best friend he was in love with. Gramps got to the motel and the man was so happy to see him, he grabbed him and hugged him so tight he squeezed the wind out of him. The man saw Gramps had been crying, but didn't ask what was the matter. He left while Gramps was in the shower. Gramps came out of the bathroom as the man was coming back in the room door. He was carrying a case of cold beer and a sack of sandwiches. Gramps standing with a towel around his waist just looked at the man. He said to Gramps "you look like you needed some cheering up, so I went out and got you something to cheer you up".
Gramps and the man even though he was old enough to be Gramp's grandfather got along real well and had a lot of good times and sex together. Gramps said after the first week he didn't even notice the age difference, they just tried to satisfy each other to the fullest. Gramps said if he hadn't been hopelessly in love with Paul he might have loved that man, he was a really nice man and he loved to have sex with Gramps. Gramps couldn't remember his name, but he never forgot the size of his dick.
Gramps had turned twenty one, it was the beginning of a new year (1958), he was graduating as a licensed engineer, but still confused as hell about his life.
If you are interested, the next chapter of Gramps is his first and only experience (so far) of being in jail.
Thanks for all the email, I knew there were people out there that could identify with Gramps and my lives. Gramps says we are confused all our lives about many different things, but for me and all teens it is especially tough. Parents pulling one way, peers pulling another and your heart pulling your guts out. x The confusion is when your brain tries to sort it all out. JJ