As always, if you're not supposed to be here, please leave. In other words, if men kissing, fucking, or doing anything remotely sexual offends, disgusts, or angers you then you should get out of here. This story includes sex between two men. But it is at heart, a love story. Plenty of sap, romance, and professions of love. So be warned. This work is copyrighted and may not be used without explicit permission from the author.
Comments, suggestions, complaints are all much appreciated and welcomed at grassisb@aol.com.
Thank you to everyone who has sent encouraging notes and suggestions so far. It means a lot. Keep them coming. I love hearing from all of you.
Also I thought I should mention that while David and Sam do not use protection in this story, you should. This is fiction where most things end happily. Alas life is not always the same. Better be safe than sorry.
And finally, much thanks and gratitude to Ron, who edited and proofread this chapter. He continues to be a faithful fan and I thank him for his assistance and support.
"Why Does it Have to Be" - Dolly Parton
Enjoy, Anthony
Present Day "I'll have a vodka tonic." The waiter shuffled off to get my drink. I looked around the crowded restaurant. What was I doing here? Was I really ready for a date? Was that what it was? I liked Jack. I did. But I just... what if he was involved with someone? But if he was he wouldn't have agreed. Right? Fuck! I hate this. I shoulda just stayed home and I'll just remain celibate for the rest of... "There you are." He said, hovering over me, seeming to appear out of thin air. I looked up. He looked so handsome. I stood up to shake his hand. What asshole shakes hands? He pulled me into a hug. "I'm glad you called." He whispered softly in my ear. "So am I." I said. We sat down and he smiled across the table. He looked different than he did at meetings. Alive, happy even. "What?" He asked self consciously as I stared at him. "Do I have something stuck in my teeth?" He asked shyly. I smiled embarrassedly . "No. I was just thinking." I clapped my hands together. "So..." I said trying to shake the awkwardness. He laughed. "So..." And then we busted out laughing hysterically. The waiter brought my drink. Jack ordered a margarita and we both ordered appetizers. When the waiter left, he smiled at me. "I haven't been to a restaurant in ages." He smiled shyly. "With Caleb, I don't get out much." "I know what you mean. Though mine's older. He's at the delicate age where he's discovering girls and doesn't exactly know how to react to that." "Oh God. Poor you." He said laughing. "Do you have a picture?" he asked. I laughed. "I have many." I reached for my wallet. "This little monster is mine." I pulled my favorite picture of Mikey and Sam.. "That's two years ago." I said handing it over. It was the last time Sammy had been home before he went back in the hospital and... well he didn't come home. Jack smiled. "He's adorable. That's Sam?" He asked quietly. I sighed. "Yeah. That was my Sammy." I said smiling the sad smile that crossed my face whenever I said his name. I shook the sad feeling away. "Where's yours." He smiled and reached into his back pocket for his wallet and produced a picture of both Caleb and what I presumed to be Kayla. I smiled. "They're beautiful." "She was a piece of work." He smiled sadly. He took a deep breath. "She was always the ring leader and he the follower." "Does he..." I started and then regretted asking the question. "Realize she's gone?" He asked softly. "Sometimes. But there's many a time he'll wake me up crying because he can't find her." He was silent for a minute. "It's getting tolerable. Not easier. But it doesn't hurt as much anymore you know?" I knew. "Yep." He wiped his eyes with his napkin. "God, look at me. Crying on a date. That's gotta be a big no- no." I smiled when I realized that he had mentioned the d word that Greggy had forbidden me to say. Jack laughed heartily. "Shit. My sister told me to, by no means, mention that this was a date." He smiled goofily. "Oh well. Guess that awkwardness is out of the way." I smiled back. "I'm glad we decided to do this." I sighed. "I was a bit hesitant. I haven't been out with anyone on a... a..." I stuttered. He laughed again. His laugh was infectious. "...a date." He completed the phrase that proved too elusive for my lips. I smiled. "... a date." I sighed. "It's just I saw something in you at the meetings. Your hurt. I wanted to..." I was beginning to second guess what I was saying. What if I scared this poor guy away? "... to make it better." We both said in unison. I looked at him in surprise but he just smiled. "I saw the same thing in you David. The same..." He shook his head back and forth. "... hurt." He sighed heavily. "When Kayla died, I thought my life was over. Craig went nuts and I was left alone." I assumed Craig had been his partner but I didn't want to interrupt him. He continued. "I had a little boy, a job, friends. And I couldn't even get out of bed. I couldn't do anything." He talked but he seemed for a minute lost, so far away from the where we were. "I'd lay in bed and just cuddle with her raggedy old blanket." He composed himself and smiled. "Way I see it, we're both kinda damaged goods here." I smiled. "I suppose so." He nodded. "So we'll help each other out. Kinda like a support group." He laughed. "And as for the dating thing, we'll see where that goes too. I think I can handle that." He said flashing his charming smile. I raised my glass. "Me too." We clinked glasses and I looked at him, wondering if I could do this again. Maybe I could. And if I couldn't, I sure as hell was gonna try.Chapter Eight ~ Why Does it Have to Be
Some lie down on rosy beds, satin pillows for their heads
Why am I cursed with thorns, and a pillow of stone
Why I ask are others blessed, where's my love, my happiness
Why is trouble all I've ever known
"Five...four...three...two...one..." Sammy leaned over and kissed me softly. He smiled at me. "Happy New Year babe." "That's all I get?" I asked amused. "A lousy peck." He laughed and leaned over. "The best comes later. Emphasis on the word come." He whispered seductively in my ear. I leaned back and smiled at him. "Well with an offer like that." I laughed and stood up. "I'm gonna get another drink. You want?" "Some water." He said. "Don't want to be drunk later..." He leaned over and whispered. "...when you fuck me silly." I laughed and made my way up to the bar. It isn't exactly where I would have wanted to spend New Year's but Greggy was still depressed and Sammy and I figured that this was the only way to cheer him up a bit. Really, I just wanted to just spend a nice, quiet evening at home. Mikey was spending the weekend with my parents. They wanted to take him up to Hershey Park for some big New Year's fest they went to every year. We went as a family when I was younger and I knew that he'd have a good time. I figured Sammy and I could order Chinese, fool around a bit, fool around some more, watch the ball drop and then fool around a whole lot more. But we were here. I really didn't mind it much. The bar wasn't too crowded and the music was bearable. Sammy had even gotten the DJ to play some Dolly for him. "What can I getcha hon?" The cute, young bartender asked me. I smiled. "I'll have a Stoli and Pineapple and a bottle of water." "Sure thing." I didn't miss the double meaning there from his lustful look. He started slinging bottles. "I haven't seen you here before. New to New York?" I laughed. "No I'm here with the hubby." I said pointing towards Sammy, trying to tell him subtly that I was indeed involved with someone. He smiled shyly and hung his head. "Well you got yourself a hottie." He handed me the drinks. "Sorry bout the little display before. But you're a cutie." "Thanks." I said blushing. I motioned around the bar with my hands. "There's a buffet of hotties here. From the looks of you, I'm sure you could have your pick." He laughed. "Oh I've had my share." He smiled shyly. "Well not all of them. I'm not that big of a slut." I thought of something. "I think I may have a guy to introduce you to." I handed him a twenty and told him to keep the change. I started to make my way through the crowd, sipping my drink when I felt a hand on my shoulder. "David?" I turned around to a familiar voice. "It is you. God you look fantastic." "Matt." I said smiling. "How are you?" "Fine. Fine." He said. "You?" I smiled. "Not too bad." I thought of something. "Come. I want you to meet someone." He followed me until we reached Sammy and Greg, both giggling about something. "Matt, this is Sammy. My... husband." I said shyly. "Sammy, this is Matt. A good friend." I didn't plan it to be callous or catty or anything like that. I just wanted to show off Sammy to be honest. I began to regret my lack of judgement. That is until I saw Matt's reaction. "Oh my God." He shrieked. "David. I'm so happy for you. For both of you." He said looking at Sam. He smiled genuinely. "Thanks." And then the penny dropped. " Oh. You're Matt. David's Matt." He said slowly, letting it sink in. But then he recovered. "It's great to meet you." He said shaking Matt's hand. "Yeah. I didn't have the common sense to know that this guy was the best thing since sliced bread." He said putting an arm around my shoulder. "He is wonderful." My blushing husband added. "Alright already. My head is getting bigger by the minute." I said. I turned to Matt. "So you seeing anybody." He shrugged. "Dates? Yes. But no one wants to commit. Plus with my job, there isn't much time for dating as it is." "What do you do?" Greggy asked. "He's a doctor." I chimed in. Sammy and Greg were both impressed. Greggy pushed me out of the way and cozied up to Matt. "Well then, he's my date for the evening." Everyone laughed as I moved behind Sammy and placed my arms around his waist. Then I though of something. "I kinda promised you to the bartender." I told him. He smiled and looked towards the bar. "I'll be back." He shrieked as he raced over there. Matt smiled. "Well I feel old." "Don't." Sammy laughed. "Greggy's just a big slut. Plus, he's had way too many drinks." We all laughed. "So how long have you two been together?" Matt asked us. "It'll be five years in April." I beamed. Matt looked impressed. "Wow. Good for you. Both of you." He said smiling. He looked at his watch. "I gotta get going. I have a 12 hour shift tomorrow." He fished in his pocket and handed me one of his cards. "Stay in touch okay? And Happy New Year." I smiled and gave him a hug. "I'm happy for you." He whispered in my ear."I looooove youse guyssss." Greggy slurred as I struggled to get the door open.
I laughed. He was so drunk. Turns out the young, cute bartender was very young. Eighteen to be exact. So Greggy drowned his sorrows in a few more drinks and then we were out of there. Sammy was holding him up and I, being a bit inebriated myself, kept trying in vain to get the front door open.
Finally opened, I stumbled in and helped my sexy, tired husband carry our drunk as a skunk friend into the apartment. We sorta placed, sorta threw him on the couch and Sammy covered him with a blanket.
Still feeling the effects of the many drinks I consumed, I began to feel frisky. I smiled and lifted my unsuspecting lover up over my shoulder.
"What are you doing?" He whispered.
"Ravishing the guy I love." I said laughing.
We got to the bedroom and I kicked the door open and then once inside, kicked it closed.
"Shhh." Sammy whispered giggling.
I smiled. "He's out like a rock. He's not getting up for awhile." I said.
And then I threw my guy on the bed. He landed with a thud, hysterical laughing.
I looked down at him for some reason I began to remember. I remembered that cold March night almost five years ago. I remembered our first night together here in this room. It seemed so long ago.
"Whatcha thinking about?" He asked me smiling, interrupting my thoughts.
I smiled back. Suddenly I didn't feel so drunk. "I was thinking about this night in March a couple of years back." I said sitting down on the bed. "I was depressed. And then I met this..." I inched closer to him. "...guy..." I inched close enough so that our faces were practically touching. "...who..." I kissed him softly. "...took..." Another peck. "...my..." Another kiss. "...heart." Another kiss.
He smiled at me and held his hand to my chest. "I've still got it."
I pulled him to me. "Always."
He lifted his head to look at me. "Do you even realize how much I love you?" He asked with all sincerity. A tear fell down his cheek. "They say that this kind of love isn't real. It can't be real. But God David, with you and me, it just keeps getting better."
I smiled and wiped the tears from his face. "I know." I kissed him again. "That's cause we love each other." More kisses.
He moaned into my mouth and I pulled back. "What's the matter."
He smiled. "Nothing. You got me all horned up."
I laughed. "That all? Maybe I could do something about that."
He looked at me incredulously. "Maybe?"
I smiled sheepishly. "Well..." I leaned down and kissed him again, straddling him and letting my hands roam freely all over his gorgeous body.
He broke the kiss again and looked at me with nothing but lust in his eyes. "I need your cock in me now."
I laughed. "No foreplay?"
"Foreplay later. Fuck me now." He said, quickly pulling his pants down in one motion.
I kinda liked seeing this frenzied side of him. Usually our lovemaking sessions were slow and leisurely. And I loved that. But once in awhile, he got this cat in heat feeling. I got it too. It didn't come to often for either of us and I guess that's what kinda made it more exciting.
I unbuttoned my jeans and started to take them off when he skillfully flipped me over and was now on top of me.
"You weren't kidding." I said amused.
He laughed. "Too much?"
"Nah. It's turning me on to no end."
"Good." And with that my jeans and underwear were slipped off with no effort whatsoever.
I looked up at him. "You wanna be on top?"
His eyes glazed over. "Oh yeah."
I reached for the lube in the nightstand draw but he grabbed my hand.
"No lube."
"Huh? You sure?" I asked confused.
"Yep." He said lining my very hard cock with his hole. He sat slowly. "Fuck!" He screamed.
I jumped. "You alright."
He smiled through gritted teeth. "Yep. Just a little... tight." My head finally popped in. "There we go." He said smiling.
I smiled and pulled him down for a kiss. "You sure are one horny motherfucker."
He kissed me again and laughed. "Talk later." I hit his prostate. "Oh God. Yeah. Right there."
I smiled. I seemed to be doing that a lot tonight but I couldn't help it. Making Sammy happy was certainly tops on my list.
We went at it like wildcats for a good ten minutes before I felt that familiar tingle in my balls. I was sure he was close too. I reached over and gave his dick three strokes before he spewed all over my stomach and face. This, of course, brought me over the edge and I erupted up his hot, tight ass.
He fell forward on my chest and tucked his head under my chin. We must have laid there panting for at least five minutes.
"Jesus Christ!" He whispered.
I laughed. "No. David Stanton." Okay so it was corny but I had to.
Sammy playfully pinched my nipples. "That was intense."
"I know." I remembered something. "I didn't hurt ya did I."
He laughed. "Did I look like I was in pain?" He asked. My hands traveled down to knead his ass cheeks. "My ass might be sore for a few days. But fuck, it was so worth it."
He started to suck on my neck and I could feel little Sammy beginning to come to life again. Little David seemed to be getting happy, very quickly too.
He lifted his head and looked at me, smiling. "You ready for another go big boy?"
I smiled and had him under me in three seconds.
What a way to start the new year!
I was sleeping. Well kind of sleeping. I was kinda awake, kinda aware of my surroundings, but not wanting to admit it. That is until I heard a little boy's laugh next to me. I decided to play along. I rolled over onto my side, my back facing Mikey. And being the nosey little four year old that he was, he took my bait. He peeked his head over my shoulder to see if I was up and I went for the kill, grabbing him and tickling the crap out of him. In between laughs, he tried to get me to stop. "That..." More tickling. "That..." More. "Stop..." Some more. "P..pp.. please." I finally stopped, having some mercy on my little sneak. He gasped for breath and looked at me, pretending to be mad. "That. Was. Not. Fair." He said, punctuating each word. I smiled down at him. "Serves you right." "But you were playing possum." He squealed. I laughed. "I know. I'm so smart." He rolled his eyes. I brushed the hair from his forehead and looked at him. It amazed me how big he'd gotten. How mature he'd become. He just... well he wasn't our little boy anymore. "Where's Fred?" I asked referring to the newest addition to our family. "Dad took him out for a walk." He said. "I'm hungry." I stretched. "Well then let's make breakfast." I said scooping him up and carried him into the kitchen. I poured myself a cup of coffee. I leaned against the counter. "Toads in a hole?" I asked Mikey. He smiled. "Yep." I got the eggs out of the refrigerator and the bread from the cabinet when I heard the door open and a little dog scurried into the living room. Mikey followed him. I smiled and turned the gas on to heat the frying pan. I was getting the orange juice from the refrigerator when two hands, very cold hands, gave my chest a rub. I jumped causing my husband to laugh hysterically. "That was so not funny." He smiled. "It's freezing out there." "I know." I said rubbing my chest. "That's all you had on. You're gonna catch pneumonia." He shrugged, taking his sweater and scarf off. "I was only out there for five minutes." He smiled evilly. "Plus that jacket does nothing for my figure. And I wanted all the cute guys to see what a nice figure I have." I pulled him to me. "Screw the cute guys." I pouted. "You didn't give me a good morning kiss." He laughed. "Yes I did." Then more seriously. "I kiss you every morning when I wake up." He said sweetly. It was then that I realized why I fell in love with this man more and more each day. I looked at him and smiled. "I love you." He threw his hands up and laughed. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." He pulled me in for a toe curling kiss. Finally he pulled back and looked at me seriously. "I love you too." "What about me?" Came a little voice from the doorway. Sammy scooped Mikey up in his arms. "Group hug." He shrieked. And I stood there hugging my two favorite guys in the whole wide world, I couldn't help but thinking that, as cliched as it sounded, life simply couldn't get any better.But life has a funny way of playing tricks on you.
I sorta knew something bad would happen. I'm one of those quasi optimists who tries and tries to convince themselves that if I keep thinking good thoughts, then only good things will happen. Alas that was not the case. Not the case at all.
I was teaching my sixth period class.
"What do you think is the main conflict here?" I asked them about their assigned reading of "East of Eden" the night before. It wasn't necessarily their favorite book. It wasn't mine either but it was on the required reading list and I told them that it would be painless if we got through it as quick as possible. They were doing an admirable job too.
I was interrupted though by a knock on the door. It was Maureen, the school secretary.
"Alright. I'll be right back. Let's not get crazy." I warned them.
I excused myself. "What's up?" I asked Maureen.
"Michael's school is on the phone."
Suddenly my radar was up. "What happened? Is everything okay?" I asked nervously.
She grabbed my arm. "Everything is okay. It's just that no one picked him up today. He's still there."
I breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh." I thought. "Sammy was supposed to pick him up. Maybe he forgot." That was unlikely though. He never forgot about anything. Especially Mikey. I looked at my watch. "Okay. Do me a favor. Tell..."
She interrupted me. "He already has a sub coming up. He said to go."
She really does think of everything. I smiled and kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you."
I grabbed my coat and briefcase from my classroom and jetted out of there. I caught a cab to Mikey's school and when I got there, I found a very angry, sad child.
I pulled him into a hug.
"I'm sorry bud."
He was on the verge of tears. "You forgot me?"
I smiled. "No. Dad just had to do some stuff." He was ripping my heart out with those eyes. "Hey. How bout I make it up to you?"
His ears perked up at that. "How?"
I smiled. "Maybe we'll make pizza for dinner."
His enthusiasm was a little reserved. "Okay. But don't forget me anymore. Okay?"
I pulled him into a hug. "Okay buddy."
I apologized profusely to his teacher who shrugged it off and we made our way outside. We took a cab to the grocery store to get the essentials for dinner and then made our way home. I called Sammy's cell four times but I kept getting voicemail. His office said that he left at 11. I was getting worried but I didn't want Mikey to see that.
We got home and once I had him settled, I called Sammy's phone again.
"Hello." Came a groggy, tired voice over the phone.
"Babe, you okay?" I asked, relieved to hear his voice.
"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be." He asked.
"You didn't pick up..."
"Fuck." He screamed into the phone. "Shit, ow..."
"What happened?" I asked worried.
"N... nothing. I'm sorry David. I just... I had so much shit to do at work."
Something was up. I knew it was. I called his job and he was nowhere to be found. There had to be a rational explanation though and now was not the time to start a fight.
"Okay... well what time you gonna be home?" I asked.
He sighed. "Late. I have a whole bunch of shit to file. Maybe ten."
Ten? Act like an adult David. He's not lying. He wouldn't lie to you.
I shook off my bad feeling. "Okay. I'll wait up. I love you." I said, holding back tears.
"Love you more." He said quickly. And with that he hung up.
"I love you Daddy." I smiled and bent down to kiss my son. "Love you too kiddo." I ruffled his hair. "And I'm sorry about today. Won't happen again." He smiled. "It's okay. I forgive ya." I laughed. "I'll see you in the morning bud." I turned the light off and walked into the living room. Sighing, I sat down on the couch and flipped on the TV. After searching channel after channel and finding absolutely nothing to watch, I gave up and shut it off. I looked at my watch. It was already nine o'clock. Where the fuck was he? I closed my eyes and thought about things. Why was I getting so upset? Sammy wouldn't lie to me. I knew that. He would never... I heard the click of the lock and the door opened, revealing a very tired and sad looking Sam. He walked in and sat down next to me on the couch, avoiding eye contact. "You're mad?" He asked hesitantly. "I was. But just cause I was a worried. I thought... I thought something had happened to you. I called your job and they said you weren't..." "You called the job?" He asked suspiciously. "Well yeah. I wanted to make sure you were okay." "I'm fine. I just... I had so many errands to run. That's all." He was cold, distant. "I'm gonna go take a shower." I nodded a bit confused. "Um... okay. I'll go heat dinner up." He didn't even turn around. "Don't bother. I'm not hungry." Wow. That was cold. As he was in the shower, I went into the kitchen to warm up some soup anyway. I figured that he hadn't eaten anything all day. I threw the soup in a pot and decided to give Greggy a call. If anyone knew what was bothering Sammy, it woulda been Greg. I switched the phone on and was just about to dial when I heard voices on the other line. "No. I didn't tell him yet." That from Sammy. "Well this isn't exactly the kind of thing you can hide from him." I knew that voice. I knew it well. "Matt..." I fucking knew it. "I know how to handle my husband." Sammy said exasperated. "I'll deal with it." "Hey." Matt said quietly. "I'm sorry. I just..." "I know." Sammy interrupted. "I know." I hung the phone up more confused than ever. Why was he talking to Matt? And what were they talking about? What the fuck was... "Hey." He peeked his head in the kitchen. I turned around. "Yep?" "What's the matter?" He asked toweling his hair dry. How do I deal with this. How? What the fuck do I do? "Nothing." I put on my fake smile. "You're lying." He said. He walked over to me and put his hands on my shoulders. "If this is about before, I'm sorry I was so short with you. I'm just so tired." He smiled. "Let's go to bed." I got bold. "Why are you so tired?" He turned around with a funny look. "I don't know. Cause I am." He said nonchalantly. "I know why you're tired." I said quietly. "Excuse me?" He said surprised. "I heard you on the phone." His face turned white. "You were listening?" "I picked the phone up by accident." I said dismissively. "When were you gonna tell me?" I asked suddenly feeling hurt. How could he do this to... "There was no good way to tell you David." Tears started streaming down his face. "I wanted to tell you. I need to. But..." "You're having an affair with my ex-boyfriend and you have the gall to..." I turned my back to him. In hindsight, I guess I kinda realize how ridiculous I was being. "Having an affair with who?" He asked incredulously. "What in the flying fuck are you talking about?" I wouldn't look at him. He turned me around forcefully. He was hysterical now. "You think I'm fucking Matt? That's what you have you're panties in a bunch about?" He laughed bitterly and turned to walk away from me. And then he stopped, and he slowly turned around again. And he told me why he'd been seeing my ex-boyfriend. My ex-boyfriend, the doctor. A fact I clearly forgot to include in my not so thorough analysis of the situation. He walked over to me and didn't stop until our faces were practically touching. Tears stained his face and I knew, that instant, that I'd made a mistake. "I wasn't seeing Matt for sex David." He said sadly. "I was seeing him because..." He looked down. "... I'm dying..." His eyes met mine again. "I'm dying David."Did I do something in another life to deserve all this pain & strife
Why does it have to be, Why does it have to be
Why can't I just get it right, why does it have to be such a fight
Am I cursed, is this my destiny, why, why does it have to be
And the sadness begins. Sorry about the cliffhanger. But this is enough for now. I'm on a writing binge so I promise, promise, promise the next chapter won't have as long of a wait Thanks to everybody who has written. And a special thank you to Rock and PiscesGemi for being two of the best readers a writer could have. They've followed this story from the get go and are always there with comments, suggestions and all that good stuff. And once again, thanks to Ron for his editing assistance. The chapters aren't riddled with embarrassing grammar and spelling mistakes anymore. And he's also a loyal fan. Thanks again. Watch Dolly on the Oscars Sunday!!! And keep your fingers crossed that she'll win!!!