Author: Crystal warnings: this story contains sexual exploits between two males if you are in any way offended by this please do not continue. Disclaimer If you have any questions or criticisms feel free to email me at sexynsweetmama@yahoo.com
A/N: Sorry this took so long I had it ready for like a week but I just forgot about it totally. I have to say I enjoyed writing this chapter the most. It is as of now my favorite and I hope you love it as much as I do. I will be on vacation for a week so the next update will probably be posted the week after I get back. I don't know how much time I'll have to write so look for it then. Enjoy.
Green Eyes and Picket Fences
Chapter 6
Travis really had told Blake to never come back to this house. Even though at the time he said it he was angry and hurt, he still meant it, he had never wanted to see Blake again. Blake hurt Travis really bad. So bad that Travis hadn't thought he would recover.
They had been together for 2 years and Travis thought they were going to stay that way. It wasn't until the last few months of their relationship that Blake began to change. The mystery phone calls started to pop up. Leaving in the middle of the night and not coming back till the next day because of one emergency or another. Coming home drunk, smelling like he had just had sex. It was staring Travis in the face but he had kept making excuse after excuse for Blake. Steve and Tyler had tried to tell him that Blake was cheating on him, but Travis thought they were just jealous of what he had and refused to listen and even cut them off all together. He stopped returning their phone calls and told Blake he was all that Travis needed anyway. It all blew up in his face when he came back from a trip early to surprise Blake for his birthday and found some buff Latino guy fucking him like the world would end tomorrow. That’s when he packed his shit and left.
Tyler and Steve welcomed him back with open arms and didn't give him any shit for the way he treated them. He still felt too bad about the way he had treated them to tell them about the break up. It was Spencer, a guy he didn't even know, that finally got him to talk his feelings out. He was also the one to throw Blake out of Travis' room when we came home one day to find him there. The day he told him never to come back because there was nothing he could say to make it better. Spencer helped Travis a lot. He was the one that suggested that Travis get away from the memories for a little while and go somewhere. Travis went to his parents' beach house. The first few days he cried a lot. Then he just got really angry as he realized exactly what Blake had done to him. He broke his heart, and could have potentially destroyed the relationship between him and the two people that loved him most in the world. Blake had dictated a lot of Travis' life, and Travis knew that had to stop. He had to start living for himself again. That’s when he started to live again. Two weeks later Travis had begun to feel homesick and so he declared himself over Blake and came back home.
He hadn't planned on meeting anyone like Aidan when he made the trip back. As soon as Travis saw him at the bar, he knew exactly who he was. Spence had talked so much about Aidan it was impossible to see him and not know who he was. He knew Aidan still had some reservations about Travis, but he could already see some of the walls beginning to crack. He knew he wasn't totally in yet, but he also knew when he finally managed to break through all of Aidan's walls, it would be well worth his effort and time.
Blake was a wild card he hadn't expected to pop up so soon. He expected the phone calls but not anything face to face for a little while. He should have known better. Blake always did manage to surprise him.
Steve and Aidan had left to give Blake and him the privacy he didn't really want. When he was alone with Blake, he seemed to forget all reason. Blake was beautiful. Travis thought so the first time he saw him and that opinion hadn't changed even though Travis' feelings had. He had short brown hair and bottomless hazel eyes. Travis used to love to get lost in those hazel eyes. It made him want the good days of their relationship again.
Shit. He was doing it again, wanting what he couldn't have. He needed to hurry and get Blake out of here before he did something stupid and take him back.
"What do you want, Blake?" Travis asked.
He looked up and saw Blake smile at him and say, "A second chance."
Travis actually laughed. No way was the man who broke his heart to pieces standing in front of him asking for another chance. Forgiveness maybe he could grant, but not that. Blake had to be out of his mind.
"You really think I would give you another chance to stomp over my feelings. I'm not stupid, and neither are you. What did you really come here for, Blake?"
Blake smiled sadly at Travis and said, "Would you believe me if I said I missed you, That my life has been empty without you?"
Travis glanced at his feet then looked back up at Blake and said, "No, I don't think I would."
"I didn't think you would either. God knows I've said it to your answering machine enough times. You didn't believe it enough to call back, so I was pretty sure you still wouldn't believe it now.” Blake then looked around the room as if looking for guidance. When his eyes finally rested on Travis again he said, "I was an ass. I made a lot of bad decisions because I was scared. We were getting really serious. We had moved in together and I was starting to think in terms of us instead of me."
"That’s what you do when you are in a relationship with someone you love." Travis said with the first stirrings of real hurt since Blake had been there starting to creep into his voice. "You start to put their needs before yours."
"I know, I know, but..." Blake said, beginning to pace around the room. "...I wasn't ready for that kind of relationship. Hell, to be honest with you, I still don't think I am."
"Then why didn't you just break up with me. Why did you put me through Hell those last months." Travis said, his voice beginning to rise. "You separated me from my family..."
"Whoa, whoa, wait right there." Blake said, cutting Travis off. He stopped his pacing and went to stand in front of Travis where he sat on the bed. "I did not tell you to stop talking to Steve and Tyler, you did that yourself. I might not have pushed you to renew contact, but don't you dare blame that on me."
Travis had to admit Blake was right; it wasn't all his fault, but at least half of the blame lay one his side of the fence. If he hadn't have hit on them, they never would have had that blowout.
Travis continued on like he hadn’t heard him saying, "You were constantly fucking around on me, and lying about it to my face everyday. To me, the person you were supposed to love and care for. You treated me like I was nothing." Travis looked up at him and asked, "Did I ever mean anything to you?"
Blake was down on his knees in front of Travis less than a second later, taking Travis' hands into his own. "Of course you meant something. I loved you, I still do. But Travis, I wasn't ready for what you wanted. for what you still want. I loved you so much that it hurt to not want the same relationship you did. You never even noticed what I was going through. It's why I lashed out at you, started sleeping around, and you still wouldn't look at us and see there was a problem. I know it's stupid, but I didn't want to hurt you and tell you I couldn't be with you anymore, so I decided to make you angry by sleeping around and I hurt you anyway. I made mistakes, I should of been up front, but I wasn't. It will always be something, I regret no matter how long I live."
Blake then got up, walked across the room to lean against the wall, and waited for Travis to speak.
Travis was lost he thought; they had dealt with this but all the pain and the loss was coming back again full circle with Blake’s little confession. Travis really hated him for it. It made him see the relationship from his side when all he wanted to do was focus on the pain he caused to him. Blake may have cheated on him, but even if he hadn't, they probably wouldn't still be together. Travis didn't like the way Blake ended the relationship, but he understood why he did it. He was afraid and didn't know what to do. Fear always causes people to be irrational.
Travis rubbed his hands over his face and asked, "What do you want from me Blake?"
"I want my friend back." Blake answered, causing Travis to raise his eyes to him. "Contrary to popular belief, I really do miss you. If I can't have the relationship back, I at least have to try for the friendship. I love you too much not to."
"I'm not sure I can give you that Blake." Travis whispered, sounding as defeated as he felt.
"I know, and I am willing to give you what I can." Blake said, walking back over to him taking Travis' head in his hands and raised green eyes to meet his. "I'll give you all the time you need. Try not to take to long, though. Life is hell without you."
With that, he kissed Blake on the forehead and left the room.
After he left, Travis curled into a ball and let loose the tears that had been threatening to spill over through most of the conversation.
Steve didn't know what to do. After he and Aidan had left the room, Aidan said he needed to take a shower then he would go lie down in Spence's room. He didn't know what happened with Aidan and Travis, but he could guess. He also knew that even though Aidan might have taken two steps forward today, Travis was about to take four steps back. He just hoped that whatever Travis needed to work through in order to be with Aidan wouldn't take a lot of time. He could see Aidan starting to doubt even as they walked out the room.
Steve was so lost in his thoughts he didn't notice anyone in his room with him until a hand touched his shoulder. He looked up and saw it was Tyler. Steve had called Spencer and him as soon as he noticed who it was at the door and told them to come home because he didn't know what to do.
Tyler sat down beside him on the bed and asked, "Where is Aidan?"
"In Spencer's room."
"Good." Tyler said, nodding to himself. "Spencer went to go look in on Travis. We saw Blake leaving as we pulled up. I'm glad Spencer didn't have to see him face to face. I don't know what he would have done."
"Probably kick Blake's ass, like he did last time." Steve said, laughing to himself.
"Yeah and I would have had to pull Spencer off him like last time too." Tyler said smiling at the memory. "That's one of the things I love about him, he doesn't let anyone hurt his friends."
"Tyler," Steve said groaning, "Spare me the mushy details of you and Spence's relationship."
"You love the mushy details and you know it. You may be able to bullshit everyone else in this world out of thinking that you don't want a stable relationship, but not me." Tyler said, putting an arm around his friend. "You want something permanent just like everyone else."
"Yeah but unlike you and Spencer, I don't plan on staying celibate until Mr. Right comes along."
Tyler just rolled his eyes and stood up and walked towards the door.
He stopped just before he went out the door and without turning around said, "He'll be fine. Travis never was one to stay down for too long."
"I know." Steve said, smiling sadly. "But it still hurts to see him that way."
Tyler nodded his head and walked out of the room saying, "Yeah, I know."
When Spencer walked into he room to see Travis on the bed crying, he wanted to run back outside and kick Blake's ass all over again. Didn't he think that he had caused Travis enough pain already? Spencer hadn't liked the guy to begin with, but now he was really beginning to hate him. He couldn't stand what he did to Travis, or the pain he was still causing.
He walked over to the bed and lay down behind Travis. Spencer hugged him tight and began to rub his hand through Travis' hair. He knew that whenever Travis was ready to talk he would. Spencer wouldn't rush him.
They lay there for what seemed to be an eternity to Spencer. Most likely because one of his friends was crying in his arms and there was nothing he could do about it. It was all he could do not to give a startled jump when Travis finally spoke.
"It wasn't what I expected."
"What do you mean?" Spencer asked, still rubbing Travis' hair.
"Why he did what he did to me." Travis said, trying to bury his head further into his pillow. "He told me why. I still think what he did to me was fucked up, but I can see what drove him to do it."
"Travis, don't make excuses for what..." Spencer began but Travis cut him off.
"I'm not." Travis said, turning around to face Spencer. "Believe me, I'm not. I just see why he did it. He was scared of what we had. Deep down, I think I knew he wasn't ready for the level of commitment that I was trying to force on him. It still doesn't make what he did right, but I now see what motivated him to do it."
Spencer hugged Travis to him again and put his head on Travis' shoulder. Spencer didn't want to ask him the question that was on his mind, because he was afraid of the answer, but he plucked up the courage and asked anyway.
"Are you thinking of going back to him?" Travis hesitated before answering which scared Spencer even more.
"I won't lie to you Spencer, It has crossed my mind a few times since we broke up." Travis said whispering into Spencer's ear. "But when it comes down to it, I don't think he's the one for me. I love him. No amount of hurt will ever take that away. But I know know that he isn't ready for a serious relationship and I am. I'll just have to find somebody who wants what I want. Hell, even if I wanted him back, I couldn't have him back. He doesn't even want that kind of relationship with me anymore."
Spence leaned back and looked at Travis.
"Then what the hell did he come back here for?" Spencer asked, looking confused.
"He said he missed me." Travis answered, laughing at the look on Spencer's face.
"But you just said he didn't want that kind of relationship anymore."
"He doesn't." Travis said. When Spencer gave him an annoyed look, he put his friend out of his misery and said, "He just wants to be my friend again."
Spencer snorted and said, "Let me guess, you are actually considering this."
"Spencer," Travis said, sitting up on the bed, "I know you don't like him, but I feel like if I don't really and truly close the this door, I won't be able to open another one."
'Shit' Spencer thought to himself. 'I forgot about Aidan.'
Spencer didn't know how well his friend was going to take the news that Travis was going to be seeing his ex again, even if it was just as friend.
"What are you going to tell him?" Spencer asked Travis.
Travis knew exactly who he was talking about and answered truthfully.
"The hell if I know."
Spence laughed and said, "I don't envy you that conversation."
Travis punched him saying, "If you were a really good friend, you would tell him for me."
Spence smiled and said, "Yeah right. Like I tell Aidan all the time, you made your bed, now you lie in it."
Travis laughed for a minute but stopped when he noticed Spencer wasn't laughing anymore. He quirked his eyebrow silently asking what put the serious look on his friends face.
"You know, if you hurt him I'll never forgive you right?" Spencer asked, taking Travis' hand into his own.
"Yeah, I know."
Spencer smiled and hugged him, then left Travis to think about what he was going to do.
Travis stared at his ceiling for a couple of hours contemplating fate and what an evil bitch she was. Then he got up and got his cell out to dial a number he still knew by heart. It only rang twice before it was picked up.
"Hello."
"Hey Blake this is Travis." Travis said, looking down at his feet hoping he was making the right choice. "What are you doing tomorrow?"
Editor's Notes:
Once again we have another great powerful chapter. This one really sticks with you and holds you tight. What in the world is going to happen when Aidan finds out what Travis is going to do. Is Travis going to be able to be friends with Blake and not fall under Blake's spell and fall into bed with him again. I certainly hope he can keep his hormones in check. I somehow suspect we will find out more in the next exciting chapter.
Darryl AKA The Radio Rancher