This story contains gay themes and graphic depictions of homosexuality. If this offends you, then you probably shouldn't read it. I welcome any and all comments and appreciate all of the feedback I have previously received. I'd also like to say thanks to the folks at Nifty
In the days that followed our get together, I tried to stay away from Chris. One because I feared where this might be headed, and two because my ass still hurt like hell. I was always polite when he called, but, made excuses when he asked if he could see me. Luckily for me his job and schooling took up a lot of his time, but, Summer was coming and he wouldn't be in classes that much longer. I needed someone to talk to. Someone that would understand, but, could be objective. I turned to my friend Aisha. She was a friend that I used to work with and was brutally honest. I agreed to meet her for lunch and told her I needed to ask her opinion on something.
I arrived at the restaurant first and was seated near the door. When she arrived everyone noticed. Aisha was beautiful I mean a real stunner. She stood 5'11" and had a flawless complexion. Her grey eyes and light almond complexion always made her stand out. She had a perfect figure and knew how to dress it. Today she wore a tasteful beige pantsuit with a cream colored low cut blouse, but it was the Fendi shoes that really made her stand out. Sleek tan open toed shoes with a 4 inch heel. Aisha hates cheap shoes and constantly reminds me of it. "Start with the feet and work your way up" she always says. I stand her and kiss her hello.
"If I was straight" I think to myself.
After ordering a martini, she asks "Okay, what's the big problem?"
"Ai, I met a guy" I respond.
"Why does every tragic story always begin with those words?" she asks. "Life would be so much simpler if we could get along without men" she continues.
The waiter brings her drink and she thanks him.
As he walks away she asks "Did you see them damn, cheap ass shoes?"
"Ai, this is serious, I have a problem." I said.
"Spill" she replies. "Okay, see this guy, his name is Chris" I begin
"uh-huh" she said.
"Well we did the deed the other night." I continue.
"Tramp!" she interject.
"Please, I'm serious" I said.
"Okay, go on" she said.
And I let fly with the whole story. I tell here everything from the how we met in the supermarket, to the game, to the night of crazy sex.
When I finish she looks at me and then asks "How do you feel about him?"
I stop and think, I hadn't really thought about it since that first night.
"You know, I don't really know" I finally answer.
"Parker, look at me" she begins, "It's Aisha, I know when you're lying" I think again.
Am I lying. I mean, he's cute and all, and kinda sexy, but, he's almost 8 years younger than me. That's not even it. I was scared. I had let someone in once before and had my heart broken. Guys don't like to say these things, but, it was the truth. I looked at her, "Okay, I'm scared" I say.
Her face softens, "Wow" she says.
"What?" I ask "I've known you since we were kids, I've only heard you say that once before"
I knew what she meant. When my Dad was sick I was a mess, she stayed beside me when I really needed someone. We became so close we almost made love one night. I looked more intently at her.
"Ai," I began.
"No, we're here to talk about you" she interrupted.
This was killing me. I thought we were past that. I thought she understood. I loved her like a sister, but, I knew, I could never hurt her like that. And it would end with someone getting hurt. I loved her too much to do that to her.
"Do I do it," I began. "Do I let someone in again?"
She looked at me "Honey, you have to" she said. But, I knew what she was thinking. How could I come to her with a guy problem, when she had one of her own. She loved me, and I was asking her should I love someone else.
Our food arrived. As we ate lunch, we continued talking. She told me that I couldn't lock myself away like some monk. I needed to get out there. I told her I was trying, but, I think even I realized that was a half-hearted excuse. David had a hold on my heart and if there was ever any chance of breaking free, I had to open myself up to other guys. After we finished eating, I ask her to walk with me. I was still skeptical about this whole situation with Chris, but, I needed to be sure she was okay. We walked through a park next to a lake. It was a beautiful day.
I turned to her. "Ai," I began. "We need to address this."
"Hey, I know what you're thinking, but, you're wrong." she said.
"I don't mean to mislead you" I said.
"Parker, it's okay. You've been upfront with me from the beginning." she said. "I know that you're gay, and I accept that."
It made me feel better to hear her say it, and I could tell that she didn't want to discuss it now, so I asked,
"What if I do this and it goes wrong again?"
"Parker, people get hurt everyday. It's a fact of life." She started. "If you don't put yourself out there, you'll never know what could have been"
I turned and hugged her. I needed it almost as much as I knew she did. "Parker!" someone yelled.
It was Chris. I looked up from our embrace.
"Hey, I thought that was you." he said.
"Chris, what are you doing down here?" I asked.
"I was working on something, I like to come here to think" he said.
"Chris, this is Aisha." I said breaking our embrace.
"Damn, girl, You are fine!" He said extending a hand.
Aisha looked at me.
She accepted his hand shake and said "It's a pleasure"
"We just had lunch." I added.
"And now you're taking a walk." he said, eyeing me suspiciously.
"Parker, I need to get back," Aisha began "It was so nice meeting you." she said to Chris
"You too." he replied.
As she walked away, she mouthed "Call me." behind his back.
"What's going on, Parker?" he asked me.
"What do you mean?" I asked back. But I knew what he meant.
"You're avoiding me" he said.
"I'm not" I started. "Work has been really busy." I continued.
"Don't play me" he said.
"Alright, the truth is, I'm scared"
"Why? I thought the other night was great" he said.
We were walking the path beside the lake.
I looked around. "Chris, keep it down. Nobody has to know our business"
"Ah, now I get it. You're closeted" he said
"No. I'm not. I just don't advertise"
"Parker, I'm out. People know it. My family knows. I won't hide what I am, not anymore"
"I respect that. In fact, I admire it. I just don't..."
He grabbed me and kissed me, in a crowded park, at two in the afternoon on a sunny day. This was serious. This was for real. I was taken aback. I didn't know how to respond. I broke away and quickly glanced around. Several people had witnessed our kiss.
"I have to go, I'll call you." I said.
I turned and rushed away. As I glanced back, it was impossible not to notice how hurt he looked.
Back in my office it was hard to concentrate. Mark noticed. Near the end of the day he popped his head in the door.
What's the haps, Buddy? You seem a little down these days." he said.
"I'm fine." I responded. "What's up?"
"Well, Wendy wants to know when you and Chris are coming by for dinner"
"How is Wendy?" I asked trying to change the subject.
"She's good, busy with work and the dogs, but, good"
"And how are the dogs? I saw the biggest Golden in the park today." I started rambling.
In no time we were talking baseball and heading out the door. Mark was easily sidetracked once we started talking sports. We parted at our cars and I got in mine and headed for home. The drive home was so uneventful, I don't remember how I got there. I pulled up to the garage, decided to park in the driveway and headed for the front door. I was nearly there when I noticed Chris sitting on the stoop.
"We need to talk." he began and looked at me very seriously
(To be continued)