Gay male - High School Gay male - Interracial
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****************************************************************** "THE HANDSOME JEWISH YOUNG MAN"
By Maddy A.
PART FIVE : CONVERSATIONS?
We were sitting comfortably in silence watching the television. Occasionally we would kiss, but no words were exchanged. I was relaxing in his arms about to drift off from the combination of his warmth and the light drizzle against the windows when I heard the front door open with a loud creak. It took a second for me to realize my folks were home and having them walk in and seeing me and Victor snuggled up together wouldn't be very wise. He must have gotten the message before I did because as I was getting up he was already off the couch and heading towards the kitchen. The bastard ran out on me.
"Look at this sofa!" My mother yelled as she and my father came in. They were even more drenched than Victor and I were. My mothers long curly light brown hair fell limply against her face and my fathers short black hair shined with specks of water glistening from the low light of the lamps.
"Sorry mom, we'll dry it." I responded, hopping I didn't look too guilty. She could almost always tell when I had done something I shouldn't have. When I was younger, I could never get away with ANYTHING. One look from her and she could tell when I did something bad. Not that I thought what me and Victor did was bad, but I didn't think she would approve of her only son making out on her `very expensive leather couch' with his tall, black friend. Some how I didn't think she would be happy for us.
"You can't dry it! Go get a paper towel to dry it off!" She stated.
"I thought you just said that it couldn't be dried?" I asked and judging from the glare that she gave me that wasn't the most wise thing to do.
"It's leather, you can't dry it, but you can wipe off that water." She continued as she started tapping her foot impatiently. I hated when she did that.
"But, you just said--" I started, but was cut off by my father.
"Kyle, God damn it, just listen to your mother!" He screeched as he kicked off his wet, mud-covered sneakers. I could hear Victor rustling around in the kitchen trying to go unnoticed, but he wasn't doing a good job with his slamming of the cabinets as he rifled for a snack. The coward had left me alone to deal with my parents while he was trying to feed his stomach. The Bastard! But, what a cute one he was.
"Sorry..." I mumbled as I made my way into the kitchen to grab some paper towels. I hated how my father made me feel. Over all we got along, but sometimes when he would talk to me, it would frustrate me. It felt like he didn't understand me. It was like one day we would be fine, but then he would fuck everything up by saying some dumb shit. He was always butting in where he shouldn't. Victor watched with smiling eyes as I passed him. I was annoyed by the fact that he was hiding out in the kitchen while I had to deal with my parents. He looked amused with a half cocked grin on his face, but I wasn`t. I rolled my eyes at him, but when he shot me a wink my irritation was replaced by amusement.
"Real nice....leaving me alone to deal with them! You know you so suck right now!" I hissed at him, but couldn't suppress the smile that crept across my face.
"Sorry, I'm not good at lying." He shrugged and chuckled as he handed me a spoon. I looked at his curiously.
"A spoon?" I asked skeptically and he continued to smile, making the small dimple in his left cheek deepen.
" I don't know, I just wanted to give you something to distract you before I did this." He replied and looked into the hall and then back at me with a brighter smile; if that was even possible.
"Distract me from wh---" I was cut off by a quick kiss. It was over before it really began, but it was enough to silence me into contentment.
"Are you crazy? My parents are right in the living room!" I hissed, half amused and half afraid, but all he did was laugh and walked with me back into the living room; bag of potato chips in hand.
"Victor are you staying over or do you want me to drive you home?" My father asked and I answered for him.
"He's gonna crash here." I replied and Victor looked slightly bothered.
"Naw, Mr. Schultz I can't. I have a job interview in the morning so I should go home in a little while." My father smiled and told him to be ready in an hour. I dragged Victor up to my room, making sure to shut and lock the door. I was a little hurt that he didn't want to sleep over.
"What the hell?" I asked and with a look of annoyance mirroring his.
"Relax yourself for a minute." He replied with his face softening as he sat down on my bed. I ran my hands through my slightly curling hair and sat by him.
"Why don't you want to stay? I thought we could, you know....talk about shit." I had calmed down some and my irritation was replaced by curiosity. He took one of his hands and placed them in mine and smiled.
"It's not that I don't want to, I can't. I was telling the truth."
"Well, why did you look so mad when I told my folks you would stay here?" He looked pensively at me and continued to smirk. "What?"
"You are so sensitive." He stated as he laughed. I rolled my eyes at him, that familiar feeling of irritation once again traveling through my body.
"No, I'm not! I just thought we could talk about...you know...us?" I replied and Victor's look grew serious. A feeling of dread washed over me.
"Look, I liked what.....you know....me and you did, but I don't want to talk about it right now." He stated nervously. I took some solace with the fact, that I wasn't the only one on edge.
"That's the thing, I liked it to, but we need to figure some things out."
"Like what!" He stated a little too roughly and loud for my liking.
"Oh, I don't know? Maybe just what the hell we are doing with each other. I mean, yesterday we were just friends, but now things are.....there just not the same." I couldn't find the right words to say. They were inside my head, but when it came to formulating them to my mouth, nothing came out. I wanted to explain to him how much I liked him. I wanted to figure out what his feelings for me were and what we were to each other. Were we going to be boyfriends? Friends with benefits? It was like I had all the words inside my head, but when it came to actually getting them out.......nothing happened.
"I don't want to talk about that!" Victor yelled again and began to pace around my room. He stopped at my desk and picked up a picture frame. The corners of his mouth were curled up into a smile that he was trying to suppress. He was looking at a photo of the two of us that Jimmy had taken the first day Victor had came over. That was the day they met and we officially had cleared the air about some of each other's assumptions. I started to feel nervous the more he looked at it because it was more like he was gazing at it. I was slightly embarrassed that he had found it. I mean, come on, how embarrassing is it to have someone you've been crushing on find their photo in your bedroom. I wanted to play it cool and make it seem like I liked him, but not TOO much, but that god damn photo was proof that I had liked him more than I was willing to let on. I walked across the room and snatched the frame out of his hands. I looked up at him, ignoring the smile he was giving me.
"What?" I asked him sarcastically as I fought to keep the smile of my face; it was just so freaking hard to! Damn! He was standing there with his baggy white t-shirt still damp from the rain. Water was trapped in his braids and the ends of them were curling into little loops. I wanted to reach out my hand and twirl the curly hair in them playfully, but I stopped myself. It was easy to get lost in his tea colored eyes so I had to look away as I placed the photo face down on the desk.
"Nuthin, I just think it's nice you have my picture by your bed." He stated as he teasingly pushed my shoulder. His touch was electric and I could feel heat traveling to my cheeks. I continued to look away without commenting. I hated how I was feeling, but oh how I loved it! It was like I was embarrassed, but I wasn't ashamed about that. As intimidating as he could be from looks alone, knowing the type of person that he was made me feel at ease with him. It was just knowing, that he knew, just how much I liked him...I don't know....it was just a little scary. What was more scary was the fact that I didn't know what his feelings for me were. I mean hell, it was obvious that he liked me, but I wasn't sure if he liked me as much as I did him.
"It wasn't by my bed and that's besides the point. I still want to talk." I replied as I attempted to steer the conversation in another direction.
"Whateva. Shoot...what's on your mind." He said as he folded his arms across his chest and looked down at me. He may have only been four or five inches taller, but the look he was giving me made me feel much smaller. The heat was still traveling along my neck and cheeks, but I pushed that feeling away. I wanted to find out just what we were doing and what it was going to mean.
"Us, that's what I want to talk about."
"What do you mean "us"?" He asked and started to rock back and forth on his feet.
"You know what the hell I mean!"
"Fine, what ever... I like you and you like me....what else is there to talk about?"
"Exactly that! I like you and you know what the means...that I'm like......you know...." I trailed off. I had never admitted to anyone that I was gay and for unknown reasons, I was finding it hard to say that word out loud.
"Yeah, I got that part. Me too.." He said and trailed too. I got the feeling that he was feeling just like I was.
"So...what does that mean? Are we like....dating...or something?"
"Would you stop flipping that damn thing!" Victor stated annoyed. I didn't even realize that I was playing with the picture frame until Victor covered my hands with his to stop me from flipping it. Heat rose from my legs on upward at the feeling of his hand on mine. His thumb gently began to caress the top of my hand for a brief moment before he folded his arms back across his chest defensively.
"Your deflecting from the situation." I replied as I turned my back from him and began pacing around the room. Our little talk wasn't going as smoothly as I had hoped. All these thoughts started going through my head. I was thinking that he obviously didn't like me as much as I liked him and that thought bothered me. I seriously felt like I could be falling in love. For a month and a half I had gotten to know him and he was just full of surprises. He may have appeared to be one way, but his clothes, his hair and even his attitude didn't properly reflect the wonderful person that he was. I'm not a very spiritual person although my parents are. I hate going to temple! It so DAMN BORING! Rabbi Shallot makes me fall asleep with every word that comes out his old mouth and it was SO hard to follow what he says. I didn't understand a lick of Hebrew, to me it sounded like gibberish. It wasn't that I'd never tried, it was just I never could grasp it. All the words mixed up and confused the shit out of me so I gave up. Jimmy would tell me all the time that I was a "Very Bad Jew". I would just laugh and tell him he was worse off than me. Shit, he would drink a glass of milk with a ham sandwich! But, Victor was very close with God even though he told me his mother wasn't very religious. Don't get me wrong, he wasn't a bible toting freak or anything crazy like that, but he told me that whenever he was going through a rough time, he would have talk to God. I'll admit it, I was a little freaked when he said that. I mean come on, somebody comes out and tells you that they have "conversations with God" wouldn't you think something was a little off with them? He must have saw the wary look I gave him because he laughed and began to explain himself. He said that sometimes life just gets so stressful and whenever things start to get too crazy, he takes out a minute and just...talks to God. He said it gave him clarity and I admired that. The more I would be around him and see how spiritual he was, the more I started to wonder more about my faith. For so many years I was just like....Jew...so what? Its hard to explain it, but I never really had this need to get in touch with my roots. But, seeing how Victor was made me want to learn more about my faith and heritage.
"AYE!! Your right. I don`t know man.....what do you want me to say?" He asked, inadvertently startling me from my reverie. I had gotten so caught up in my thoughts, that I had spaced out.
"It's not what I want YOU to say, it's what I want to say. I just want to know what exactly we're doing with each other. I mean, are we dating...or something else?"
"I don't know?" He said dejectedly and my heart broke a little. It started off as a small crack that was quickly spreading, burning with each tear that it made. I turned my face away from his and tried to pretend that I was fine. I told myself that I should have expected that and should have been prepared, but I wasn't. I was so sure that he liked me. I was so sure that he was ready to declare his undying love for me. I was so ready to start making plans to adopt little Chinese babies. Okay, maybe I was getting a little ahead of myself, but I at least expected him to at least say we were dating.
"What don't you know?" I asked with my back still turned away from him. I was silently praying that he would say the words I wanted to hear.
"I don't know what to do?" He replied and I was truly confused. I was expecting him to say he didn't know if he liked me. I was ready to hear that he didn't know if he was gay or that he didn't know if he wanted to freaking wear shorts or sweats the next day. I was ready for almost anything except that.
"I don't understand you?" I said as I turned to face him for the first time. He was deep in thought and I almost felt guilty for disturbing him with my words. He walked over and surprised me as he embraced me in a hug. I could smell the faint scent of coconuts in his hair and the warmth of his strong dark honey arms relaxed me, almost making some of the confusion leave......almost. His voice was gentle and whispery as he spoke softly in my ear.
"I'm gonna keep it real. I don't know if I can do this--" He started and I broke the embrace and glared at him.
"FINE! FUCK YOU VIC! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THIS THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU KISS---" I started to yell, but something silenced me. At first, I wanted to pull away. I wanted to curse him out and let him know just how fucking fucked I thought he was, but I couldn't. Victor's lips were soft and warm. They were a little fuller than mine, but they fit together perfectly. His tongue snacked out and gently started licking my lower lip. I brought my tongue out to stroke his, mimicking his actions. Tenderly our mouths joined together as our tongues would timidly touch each other. I kept my eyes open at first; he had caught me by surprise, but soon I closed my eyes as I relaxed under our kiss. It was our second one and just as good as the first. He ran his hands roughly through my hair, locking and twisting when he reached the back of my head, pulling my face closer to his and pressing our bodies close together. His aggressiveness turned me on and I could feel myself hardening. I roamed my hands underneath his t-shirt to touch his bare skin for the first time. His body was smooth and rough contrasting in a subtle way. Unlike mine, he was formed with a naturally muscular build and with each touch of every groove and arch in his body, the heat I was feeling grew. He was an eager kisser, but I was a little more timid. I had only kissed one other person and I wasn't sure of my abilities, but he didn't seem to mind so I thought I was doing a good job at keeping pace. His hands began to roam up my shirt, gently caressing my back. His fingers lingered and danced up my spine and just as I was about to suggest we make ourselves more comfortable on the bed he pulled away.
"What I was GOING to say was I don't know what to do about how I feel about you. I want to be wit you , but do you want to be wit me?" He asked cautiously and I smiled. I started to feel a little embarrassed at how I overreacted. My mother was always telling me my mouth was going to get me in trouble and I really should have started listening to her.
"HELL YEAH! I mean, yeah...." I replied. He kissed me quickly before he smirked at me and wiggled his eyebrows. He glanced down and his face lit up with laughter. I followed his gaze and saw that I was....lets just say a little MORE than excited. Those God Damn khaki shorts don't hide ANYTHING! His clothes were a little too baggy for me to see if his situation was the same, but I got the feeling that it was.
"So....it's on then?" He asked.
"Yeah, its on...." I replied and smiled back at him. Little did I know just how complicatedly interesting our lives were about to get with those three little words.........
To Be Continued
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