Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction and is not meant to reflect the true sexual preferences of any of the characters mentioned herein. Truthfully, I don't know if any of the WWE superstars are gay, including John Cena, and even if I did, I would respect them enough to not go blurting it out in a public forum. Anyway, this is my first venture into the whole creative writing thing, so I hope you all enjoy it (or at least refrain from vomiting while reading).
"Hey bud, you ready yet?" Wes screamed from the living room of their apartment.
"Yea man, get your ass movin!" Ty added. Jeff wasn't totally freaking out yet, but to say he was nervous was an understatement. He stood in the bathroom, staring at the mirror, still not believing that something like this was happening to him. He put some finishing touches on his hair and sighed to himself one more time as he walked out of the bathroom to greet Wes, Ty, and Alex. They all stared at each other for a few seconds before Jeff just kind of nervously smiled/chuckled.
"Didn't know you needed to whack off before the show," Alex said.
"Yea, I blew all in your Garnier Fructis 'Curl and Shine' shampoo bottle." He was always busting Alex's balls about his curly hair and choice of hair products -- Alex claims that his mother bought them for him. You see, Alex was very Italian, at least in the sense that he had very dark features and crazy, curly hair that he could do just about anything with. The best is that he didn't even need any product to stand his hair up like Butthead. He has like zero body hair though, which is pretty funny.
Finally, Jeff sucked it up, grabbed his gym bag, and headed for the door. "Let's go, bitches!" Ty had elected to be the chauffeur for the evening. It was still pretty early in the evening, around 4:30 or so, but Jeff needed to be at the Giant Center at 5 o'clock for a 7 o'clock start time -- the guys were pretty much just going to hang around until the show got under way. The fellas marched our way to Ty's 2002 Silver Jetta while he hit the button to pop the trunk. "Shotty!" Jeff yelled, taking off toward the car. He quickly threw his bag in the trunk while Ty started it up and Wes and Alex pilled in the back with their mini-camcorder bag to document the trip. They didn't waste any time either, as the camera was right in Jeff's face before they could pull out of the parking lot. Wes started. "So buuuuuuuddy, how do you feel?"
"This is just fuckin' crazy man! I still don't know how I let you guys talk me into this. Hell, I never even played sports in high school or anything like that, and now I'm gonna be wrestling in front of 12,000 people."
"Yea, that and you get to put on those sexy tights of yours and roll around with big, sweaty men. I'm totally gonna laugh my ass off when you pop a bone in front of everybody," Ty cut in.
"Yea, well, you guys flash your shit around enough that I should be allowed to do whatever I want for a stadium full of people. Just be glad I'm not gonna be on TV yet."
"We got that covered! We're totally throwing this up on YouTube when we get back," Alex said, as he leaned over the front passenger seat to playfully mess up Jeff's hair.
The ride was pretty quiet after that, as Jeff sat pensively in the front seat, thinking over all that had/was about to happen to him. It was a nice, mid-October afternoon -- just a tad on the chilly side. You could start to smell the sweet smell of chocolate coming from the factories in Hershey. It all made for a pretty serene car ride, as Jeff was starting to get lost in the passing scenery out the car window.
Jeff Johnson was on his way to [possibly] becoming a WWE superstar.
Jeff was 22, 5'11'', and 210 pounds, which made him what you might consider to be young, short, and skinny in the business. You might say that Jeff had that 'college-age, boy-next-door' kind of look -- his hair was short and brown and usually styled up with product into a messy look with a flip in the front. He had very deep, green eyes that many people agreed was one of his best features. Jeff definitely had the body of a WWE superstar too though -- he had a body type a lot like John Morrison's.
At the time, Jeff was in college working on his BS in mathematics with a teaching certification. The kid knew how to party and had a ton of friends, but he was also very astute and knew when to sit his ass down and do some work. A part of the math and education honor societies, Jeff was also a college scholar. He was always a quick learner and picked things up through observation and mimicking, which helped greatly, because he was able to acquire so many of his wrestling skills just from watching it on TV for so long. Most of his roommates got into watching wrestling too. Then, when they'd get drunk, throwing each other around and slamming each other onto beds and stuff seemed like a great idea. And, as only college students can, they found a way to turn watching wrestling into a drinking game. The group would wait for certain wresters to do or say certain things, and they would have to drink accordingly. A DX crotch-chop would mean a drink from your beer, while a Vince McMahon reference to his grape fruits meant taking a shot -- Monday nights were basically always a shit show...
Jeff felt comforted knowing that he had such good guy friends that they didn't feel awkward wrestling around with him. Generally, three straight guys wrestling around with a gay guy would come with its complications. They were his boys though. It was with their help too that he was able to get even bigger and stronger. Jeff always worked out, starting in high school, but these guys got him lifting hardcore, Ty especially. This kid was jacked, and Jeff was determined to show him up, just to fuck with him mostly. Ty got teased a lot for being the youngin' of the group, even though he was the biggest for a while. The kid had to hit the gym every day or he just didn't feel right. Somewhere in all the mess, the idea was thrown out there that Jeff should audition for the WWE. The boys saw that he knew how to lock in a pretty good Sharpshooter and drop an mean elbow, a- la Shawn Michaels. At the time, WWE was having open auditions while on tour, so Jeff figured, "What the hell?!" Smackdown! was coming through Philly that year, so the four all got tickets, and he wrote in about getting an audition.
Having nothing to lose, Jeff gave it a shot and drove down on a Tuesday morning in September, even though the whole thing seemed pretty laughable -- he had never received any formal training in wrestling in his life. Again, all he knew was the years of watching different moves executed over and over again and practicing on his friends. Other than that, he did have mad experience playing Smackdown! vs. Raw, owning every year's Smackdown! game since the original for PSone. Additionally, he had three seasons of watching Tough Enough under his belt too (well, technically four if you count the "competition" that aired weekly on Smackdown!). So, he had a little bit of an idea of what to expect with the whole training/audition process. Hopefuls had to go through a physical fitness test to see how they could all hang. There was also a lot of in-ring work, hitting the ropes and whatnot. Finally, there was a point in which they had to cut a 30- second promo to see their on-camera/mic skills.
Jeff always had a love and appreciation for the business though, never missing an episode of Smackdown, Raw, or ECW (or at least not forgetting to TiVo it). Many of the wrestlers these days say it, but the same held true for Jeff; he grew up watching and idolizing many of the wrestlers. He started watching just before the 'Attitude' era, when Bret Hart still had his hero, fan-favorite persona. Later on, he was big into Triple H, HBK, and Edge. Something about Jeff stuck out to the WWE recruiters, as he was given the call a week later, much to his shock. They wanted to start arranging some "dark matches" during their Raw shows. Conveniently for Jeff, Raw was going to be doing a show from the Giant Center in Hershey, Pennsylvania, approximately 15 minutes from his college campus.
"Yo, who are you wrestling' again tonight?" Wes's voice broke Jeff out of his daze.
"Uhh...I think I've got a match with Val Venis."
"That porn star guy?!" Ty exclaimed.
Jeff laughed. "Yup, that would be the one. It's gonna be toward the beginning of the show, when it's still technically 'Heat.'"
"How are you supposed to get in anyways?" Alex asked. "I mean, they're not just gonna let some college kid walk into the locker room."
"They've got my name on a list. But, they did give me this pass thingy too." Jeff reached into his bag and pulled out a red badge on a black lanyard with the WWE logo and a picture of his face with a goofy grin.
Wes snatched the lanyard. "This is one really hot picture! I hope if you get on TV you don't look this retarded."
"Thanks bud. Love you, too." Jeff stated plainly. He turned his attention back to the road. Hershey Park and the Giant Center slowly started coming into view down Hershey Park Drive. Reality started to rush back to him -- it seemed the bigger that building got, the more panicked he became. Jeff began patting his legs uncontrollably.
Wes chuckled. "Calm down, bud." he said, squeezing Jeff's shoulder. "You know you're gonna be awesome just like you are with everything else. You always get so worked up over shit, and then you end up nailing it. 'Wah! This Real Analysis test is going to be so hard! Wow, look at that, I got an A!'" He mocked. Jeff turned around to see him smiling at him, knowing he was just teasing him. "Seriously though, it's gonna be alright. Besides, you got us there screaming and cheering for you!"
"Yea, we even made a sign!" Alex excitedly unrolled a piece of poster board that had been stowed away in the car a few days ago so that Jeff wouldn't notice.
"Jeff is sexy!" Ty cheered from behind the wheel without taking his eyes off the road -- obviously he had been in on the whole thing.
"Jesus Christ..." Jeff feigned embarrassment, but he knew to expect nothing less from these guys. "You do realize that people are just gonna think you are three fruits with a hard-on for Jeff Hardy?"
"Ohh shit..." Alex said, as the excitement immediately dropped from his face in a very cartoonish manner.
"Wait! I got a pen in here some place..." Just then, Ty leaned over in front of me and popped the glove compartment. Old credit card receipts and other junk started falling out, bouncing off of Jeff's legs and onto the floor. "Here it is!" he exclaimed, holding it up like a hero. "Here, write a big 'J' after the 'Jeff.'" To Jeff's amusement, he noticed that the sign had been done in black sharpie while the unearthed pen was blue -- it looked like a second grade arts and crafts project, just needed the glitter, cotton balls, and some stick figures or some shit.
"Did I ever mention I loved you guys?" Jeff asked -- he had definitely calmed down a lot by the time they pulled up to the booths to pay for parking.
"Parking'll be six dollars," the middle-aged man in the booth said.
Jeff thought quickly, snatching the red ID card back from Wes. "We're here with the WWE. They told me that parking would be covered..."
"I hadn't heard anything about that," the man retorted.
"I don't really know either. That's just what the management told me," Jeff stated, playing dumb. The boys in the back slowly caught on to what he was up to and snickered a little bit, before putting on equally dumb faces. The man scanned the boys in the car, contemplating what he should do. Making eye contact with the man, Ty just shrugged his shoulders, hands still on the wheel, with a very haphazard look on his face.
"Alright, go on ahead." The man had finally caved.
After driving forward for a few seconds, Ty screamed, "Nice!" There was a little mini- celebration in the Jetta.
Jeff turned around again. "That's just what I get for being a cheap ass."
As it was still early, there weren't too many people in the parking lot yet; the boys basically had their pick of parking spots. Of course, Ty parked as close to the front doors as possible. After putting it in park and shutting of the engine, Ty sighed and turned to Jeff. "Well, my friend, are you ready?" His Triple H impression was terrible, but Jeff smiled none-the-less.
" I think so, man," Jeff stated, confidently. The four boys piled out of the car as Jeff walked around back to the trunk to get his gym bag with all of his gear and other belongings. "Well, fellas, this is where I say good bye." Wes just kind of scrunched his bottom lip in agreement.
"Give me a hug, silly," Alex said in his best gay voice. Jeff hugged the three in turn and started walking around toward the back of the building while the other walked toward the front entrance. After being some distance away, he heard Ty yell, once again, "Jeff is sexy!"
Jeff just smiled to himself and said, under his breath, "Jackasses..." Now that he was alone, his mind began to wander again. He still couldn't believe that he was about to walk into this building and see all these guys that he had watched on TV for so many years. As he walked down the large loading ramp, past the absolutely massive production trucks that the WWE broadcast from, he began seeing some other people. The parking lot had been, for the most part, deserted, because most of the established people in the company would park under the building where he was walking now. Down at the far end of a line of cars, he saw who he thought was Cody Rhodes getting his bags out of the trunk.
Starting to feel intimidated, Jeff also felt slightly comforted. Cody was another young guy, like himself, trying to break into the business, even if he did have the help of his father, Dusty Rhodes. He also thought that it could mean trouble; there were just too many damn good-looking people in wrestling! Being out and open about being gay in professional wrestling never seemed to be widely accepted, so he was going to have to make sure to keep himself in check with all the hunky guys running around. Putting the lanyard around his neck, he finally reached a large set of steel double-doors and pushed down on the bar to make his way into the building.
Once inside, Jeff noticed everything that they had set up in the big, open atrium area just inside the doors. A couple different people that Jeff didn't recognize turned to look at him as he walked in, but they just turned back around after seeing him, not really acknowledging his presence. There was a bunch of tables set up with various A/V and lighting equipment. Off to the side, there was a good-looking young girl seated in one of those directors-type chairs in a makeshift booth -- Jeff took her to be the makeup girl. Off in the distance, there was what appeared to be a path cloaked in a bunch of black curtains, accentuated with strings of white rope lights -- Jeff took this to be the stage entrance to the arena.
Just as he was about to start walking forward again, Triple H appeared out of the corner of his eye from a connecting corridor. Jeff was caught like a deer in headlights, obviously star-struck by the man who is probably the biggest name in the WWE. Triple H just continued walking, heading down another connecting corridor. Just then, a smaller man in a black WWE polo shirt, probably in his early thirties -- one of the ones that first noticed Jeff when he first walked in and realizing he was lost -- walked up to him. "You must be new here," the man said, breaking Jeff out of his daze.
"Ohhh! Yea, I am," Jeff stammered, attempting to recompose himself.
The man laughed. "Well, my name's Pete. I guess I'll show you to the locker room."
"Nice to meet ya, Pete. I'm Jeff," Jeff said, shaking Pete's hand. "Lead the way, sir!" The two men were off down the hallway that Triple H has emanated from.
"I suppose I should give you the grand tour. A lot of the backstage areas at arenas are set up the same way, so we generally try to lay out everything in the same place. You'll should catch on really quick. If not, there's usually handy, little signs posted on the walls to guide you around," Pete noted, pointing to a sign on the wall that said 'Makeup,' with arrow pointing to the right, the direction the duo had just come from. "Here is where we cut a lot of our promos during the show and interview segments." Jeff glanced over at the large, steel-framed structure with a television monitor in the middle and red-colored, illuminated backdrop behind it. Todd Grisham was standing there, going over some notes he had in his hand. Continuing on, Pete then stopped in front of a large room that resembled a high school cafeteria. "Here is where we have our catering. I think the food is pretty good, but I leave that up for you to decide."
Jeff chuckled. "My nerves are so bad right now that I don't know if it would be a good idea to eat anything." He noticed that most of the guys eating in there appeared to be crewmembers -- apparently a lot of the other superstars didn't think it was a great idea either.
"Again, it's totally up to you," Pete commented. "Just a little further to go to the locker room." The two continued walking again down the slightly arced hallway. After about 100 feet, they arrived at a white door with a black sign on it that said, simply enough, 'Locker Room.' " I guess this is the end of our journey. Have any questions for me?"
"I do actually. How do I know when I'm on or anything? Is there like a run sheet I could look at?" Jeff asked, confused.
"There should be one posted just inside the locker room here. It'll list your name and the approximate time that you'll be going on. We usually are a few minutes off, so there's also closed circuit TV in there that you can watch to see when the guys that are on before you get finished. Just head back to where you came in to get to the stage entrance. The guys stationed at the entrance will cue you from there."
Jeff nodded, acknowledging that all of the information Pete was sharing with him was being retained. "Ok, great. Thank you so much for your help, Pete. If you hadn't caught me back there, I'd probably still be standing in that spot or wandering aimlessly around the halls someplace."
Pete snorted. "It's no problem at all. Good luck out there buddy. I hope to be seein ya around a lot more soon!" Jeff smiled as Pete turned to walk off. "Ohh wait! I forgot to mention," Pete shot back around. "Vince usually likes to gather everybody together before the show starts to give a little pep-talk and run down a few things that will be goin' on. That, too, will likely be in that large area where you first walked in. Just follow some of the other guys -- you can't miss the herd that'll be heading down there around 6:30."
"Sounds good," Jeff said. "Thanks again, Pete."
"Not a problem." Pete turned and walked away. Jeff sighed to himself and turned to face the door, hesitating to actually go in. After a few moments, he finally reached out to turn the handle and walk in. To his surprise, there was only one other guy in there, whom he didn't recognize. He, too, was a younger-looking guy, probably about 23 or 24, 6'2'', 225ish, longer, shaggy blonde hair and blue eyes -- he was actually pretty cute.
The man quickly stood up from the bench he was sitting at and approached Jeff, extending his hand. "Hey, I'm Matt. I guess you're new like me and came ridiculously early to avoid being late."
Shaking his hand and chuckling, Jeff replied, "Yea, definitely. I didn't really know what I was supposed to do and didn't want to screw anything up on my first day."
"Nah, I know what ya mean. But anyway, I think I'm gonna go hit up the catering and walk around for a bit. Then you can change without me starin' at ya."
Jeff, wondering if he was just being hit on, smiled and said, "Alright buddy. Well I guess I'll catch ya around!"
"Later!" Matt said as he exited the locker room. Now alone, Jeff slumped over to a locker down the stretch of bench from where Matt was. He placed his bag on the bench, noting the clock on the wall that read '4:30' -- he definitely was a little early. Unzipping his bag, he began to pull out all of his gear. He had a pair of plain orange tights, the short kind with no leggings. His boots, kneepads, and elbow pads were all a plain black. If he ended up getting a job with the company, Jeff had hoped that maybe they could work out something to spice up his attire a little bit...at least some decals or something. He then set his feet up on the bench to untie his shoes, which he got off pretty quickly. Next, he undid his button-flys, revealing a snug-fitting, white jock. He felt a little self-conscious wearing one, but he did have to admit to himself, he looked damn good in it! Jeff took a second to look in the mirror and check out his own ass. He certainly wasn't vain; he just thought it would be funny to model them really quick. Before anyone could walk in on him, he pulled on his orange tights, kneepads, and laced up his boots. Next, he traded the tight-fitting black polo shirt he was wearing for an equally tight-fitting Edge 'Crewd, Lewd, and Tattooed' t-shirt that he happened to have lying around the apartment.
Figuring he still had plenty of time, since no one else had even shown up yet, Jeff figured he'd do a little more exploring. He walked his way back over to the door and headed out, deciding to continue down the hallway away from the entrance. He passed a few people along the way, politely smiling and nodding to them. After a minute, he noticed a table with large silver canisters on it, containing regular and decaf coffee. Opting for the caffeinated goodness, he grabbed a styrofoam cup and flipped the nozzle, allowing to cup to slowly fill. Leaving room for the cream and sugar, Jeff calmly reached over to get a couple jiggers of creamer and quite a few packets of sugar. He then proceeded to stir it all together, not noticing the man that had walked up behind him. As he turned around, his hand came into contact with the man's chest, spilling the freshly prepared cup of Joe all over him. Fortunately, Jeff's need to add a ton of creamer and sugar to coffee had cooled it down a bit so that it wasn't scalding hot. In complete shock, Jeff looked up at the man's face -- it was John Cena.
So everybody, I hope you enjoyed reading thus far. I thought the site could use a story about the WWE that wasn't strictly about sex, so I hope you're not disappointed that nothing really happened yet. There's tons of creativity and so much more going on with the wrestling business to just write about the love makin'. I'll get some more out to you soon, just have to get the creative juices flowing and daydream some more. Send your questions, comments, and concerns out to ITSMonkeywolfnoz@aol.com. Have a nice day! :o)