Hard To Be X-Men | Chapter: 19
DISCLAIMER: The X-Men series is copyrighted to Marvel Comics, and 20th Century Fox. I do not claim or present any rights toward any of the X-Men concepts. For visual and story purposes, I have based this story off of the movie characters. This story does not hold any claim towards any actors sexual preference. This story is totally fiction and should be admired as such.
WRITER'S NOTES: Talk about a delay! It has been months since the last update, and for that I am truly sorry. I got so many e-mails and instant messages asking me about the fate of this story. I got into a slump and really didn't have the urge to write anymore. I wish to thank my most inspiring Muse: Jason. If not for him, I don't think I would be writing again ;)
I also dedicate this chapter to: Alex Davies an amazing writer, and friend. We miss you dearly.
Sunlight spread across the room. Seth was still asleep, but vivid images still swirled around in his head from last night. Slowly, Seth started to come to. He sat up in bed and looked over at Logan. Except, Logan wasn't there. Immediately, a feeling of dread filled Seth. He grabbed his clothes and got dressed then dashed down the hallway. Elsewhere, Logan was pounding fiercely into a punching bag. Sweat dripped down his hard frame as he continued his brutal attack. By now very little was holding the bag together. Scott watched from the doorway hardly moving as he stared hardly at the sight before him. Slowly, Scott moved forward.
"Wolverine" Scott said softly realizing he hadn't called him that for over a year.
Instantly, Logan plunged his claws into the punching bag, finally ripping it to pieces.
"What!" Logan growled out.
"What's with you?" Scott asked keeping his distance.
"Nothing. Just leave me alone" Logan replied grabbing a nearby towel.
Scott moved forward a bit. Logan cocked an eyebrow as he began to wipe the sweat from his body. Scott let out a deep sigh as he tried to put his thoughts into words. Logan watched from a distance for as long as he could before his claws jerked out from his hands suddenly. With reflexively, Scott instantly placed his fingers on his visor.
"What" Logan asked in a cocky voice as his claws retracted.
I'm going away with her" Scott spoke, now puzzled from what he just said.
"It'll do you two good" Logan replied after a short pause.
"Yea" Scott said.
"Was that it?" Logan asked preparing to walk away"
Why did you let him do it?" Scott said, his voice now a mixture of sadness and rage.
Seth?" Logan said dumb founded.
"Yes! You never let me get that close to you!" Scott replied his voice now laced with sadness.
"Because we were something different from what me and the kid have"
"Like what? I care for you just as much if not more then Seth does" Scott said, his fists now clenched tightly.
"Damn it, we were together because of Jean. Because we lost her" Logan said abruptly.
A silence fell across the gym. Both men were pondering over what Logan had just said. Was their relationship nothing more then sex? A band-aid to hold the wounds together? Scott never had put much thought on that aspect. Once Logan had broken down all his fears and walls, he was ready for a relationship. A full on commitment, if not that then just some sort of comfort from the fact that Logan was there for him. But was it all just physical? It had to be more Scott thought, it just had to be.
Logan, there was more to it than just sex. More than just a band-aid" Scott said softly.
Seth walked up to the gym door and stood in the entrance. He saw Scott and Logan, together in a confined space. Seth's heart dropped even further in his chest. Quickly he moved behind the door so he could hear what was going on.
"We might of been. But that's all in the past now"
So what now?" Scott asked moving even closer to Logan now.
"We get our shit together" Logan replied as he tossed the towel.
"It's hard Logan, I don't know where to start" Scott said taking a deep breath.
"It'll come to you, just like it will me" said Logan.
Suddenly, Scott jerked Logan close to him and kissed. Seth could see and hear everything that was now going on. Now he was the one fleeing from the scene, as he got up his knee slammed into the door. Scott and Logan looked towards the door. But that didn't stop Seth, he kept walking away. As fate would have it he bumped right into Jean. Seth fell flat on his ass as he looked up into Jean's face.
"Who was that?" Scott asked alarmed.
Logan sniffed the air and his eyes closed out of disbelief. Scott saw the reaction in Logan's face. He immediately let loose his hold. Logan looked back at Scott, his eyes now wide open. With one last look, Logan began to walk out of the gym to find Seth.
"Logan" Scott began.
"Yea?" Logan replied.
"Thanks for being there" Scott said in a contempt voice.
Logan gave an approving nod and walked out leaving Scott to his thoughts. Meanwhile Seth was held up in Jean's room now more stumped then ever. Jean quietly listened as Seth kept running over everything he felt. Finally after Seth had said everything he could say, Jean finally spoke.
"Seth I know you have so many mixed feelings about Logan and Scott's relationship. But you must realize that both of them have went through so much more then We'll ever imagine" Jean began trying to hold her composure.
"There is so much I don't understand. I'm trying to, but getting Logan to explain everything is hard" Seth said in a spaced-out voice.
"When I was gone, everyone thought I had died. Even I did for awhile there. Scott loves me so much that he might of killed himself" Jean said, her eyes now starting to tear up.
"What do you mean died? No one has ever explained that to me" Seth asked.
"I can't Seth. Not even I'm ready to" Jean replied, turning away from Seth.
"So where does Logan come in?" Seth asked trying to change the subject.
"Somewhere in time, Logan developed feelings for me. Deep feelings, true feelings. When I was gone, I guess Logan and Scott found each other amidst the pain they both were feeling" Jean replied.
"Great. Now I feel like I messed up Logan and Scott's relationship" Seth said trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.
"Seth. I made a choice before I left. My choice was Scott, when it was time to choose. He was the only one I loved. When I returned a year later, it was his time to make a choice" Jean said as Seth hung on to her every words.
"Then who did Scott choose?" Seth asked on the edge of his seat.
"His choice was me Seth. I couldn't see it at first, but as the months went on. I wondered how sincere he truly was. Til one day, he finally told me.
"But your back now, so why does it still continue?" Seth asked.
"Well Logan would never admit it, but he cares for Scott. Funny really considering they both used to fight and get on each other's nerves constantly. They both care for each other. I know it's hard for both of them to get used to me being back around. That's why I've tried so hard to let them have their space. Scott is opening up more to me now. Seth, you'll have to give Logan the same room so he can open up for you" Jean said looking deeply into Seth's eyes.
"I know he will, I'm just tired of playing these games. I feel so stupid at times" Seth said in a hushed voice.
"You're not stupid Seth. Believe it or not, you'll slowly bringing Logan out of his shell. All Logan used to do was travel constantly looking for information on his past. When he was here he would stay in his room, he used to be a very closed individual. At least he talks more and expresses himself" Jean said now slowly loosening up.
"I just need to give it time like you said" Seth replied.
"Things will come around Seth. They always do" Jean said grabbing Seth's hands.
"Logan is the only person I have ever felt this way about. He's one of the few people I know that really care. I don't know if I could handle not having him, if he didn't feel one hundred percent the same" Seth spoke as he looked out the window.
There was a faint knock at the door. Both Jean and Seth looked, both knowing who it was. Seth got up and gave Jean a faint smile and walked out of the room. Logan took a step back allowing Seth to exit. Without any notice, Seth placed his head on Logan's shoulder and wrapped his arms around Logan's waist. Logan sighed and held Seth closely to him. He didn't know how Seth would react after seeing him and Scott kiss. It wasn't anything sexual about it. The kiss was merely a closing of an old chapter in both men's lives. They were there for each other, comforted, and grieved. It was now time to slowly get their lives in order and move on. Something both men wanted so desperately.
"You Okay?" Logan asked softly as he ran his hand over Seth's head.
"Yea. I'll be fine" Seth said as he nuzzled closer to Logan.
"Sure?" Logan asked relieved by Seth's first answer.
Seth just nodded and leaned against Logan's warm body. Jean had put several of Seth's fears to rest. Now all he needed to do was trust Logan and hope that things would turn out alright, or Seth hoped at least they would. After a few more minutes, Seth finally looked up at Logan.
"So what do we do now?" Seth asked.
"The Professor wants everyone in training sessions" Logan sighed heavily.
"Alright, let's go" Seth said as he pulled Logan along to the danger room.
Thousands of miles away, Magneto and his band of men were trying to regroup and get their base back in order from Drake's attack. Magneto was busy repairing holes in the walls as Mystique and Deathstrike worked on the computer systems. Things seemed to have been pretty normal until the ceiling caved in. Everyone ran out of the way from the falling debris. Suddenly, the dust was suck backwards towards the hole in the ceiling. There stood a young woman wearing a black cat suit. All of the dust was being collected directly in her palm. Soon the entire room was clean. Slowly the girl and two other men lowered to the ground. In the middle of the group stood one man dressed in a fine tailor-made suit, while the other man wore a long gray trench coat. Magneto held a look of complete horror on his face. As the guests examined everyone in the room, the man who acted as leader spoke.
"Well Eric, I guess you could call this a evaluation" said the man with a faint smile on his face.
"What do you want Parker?" Magneto spat.
"I want the subject. I grow tired of waiting" replied the man as he started to walk around the room.
"It's not as simple as you would like to believe Jakan" Magneto said as he removed his gloves.
"You've had your chances: I shall not wait any longer. It's been far too long now" Jakan said.
"What are you implying?" Magneto asked getting madder as ever.
"Kytri and Mason shall be assisting in capturing the subject" Jakan said.
"I will not have you interfering in this project Jakan!" Magneto yelled.
"Oh but you will. We'll make sure of that" Jakan replied.
With a snap of his fingers, Kytri and Mason moved towards Magneto and the others. Meanwhile back at the Mansion, everyone had begun their regular training. Once again the Professor moved about the gym pairing everyone up. Logan was with Gambit and Hank was with Bobby and Rogue, while Seth was paired with Scott and Jean with Storm. Everyone was taking turns using their powers on each other and the partner would have to use theirs to deflect. So far everything was doing well. Logan was slicing through Gambit's cards, as Bobby and Rogue were trying to outrun Hank's speed and strength. Everyone was training except Scott and Seth. They both looked at each other deciding what to do. Everyone else was taking quick glances at Scott and Seth to see what would happen. Finally Seth broke the silence.
"Ready?" Seth asked.
"Give me what you got" Scott replied getting ready.
Instantly Seth's hand erupted in flames and they rushed towards Scott. Immediately, Scott fell to the floor to avoid the flames and shot back a small beam. Seth flew an old chair in the path of the beam instantly destroying the chair. All of a sudden Seth felt a dull pain in the back of his head, but he didn't pay no mind. Now it was Scott's turn to make the strike. Scott shot several beams at Seth while in turn he started to miss and run out of the way. As Seth dived out of the way, a stray beam caught the back of his leg causing him to fall directly to the ground. Scott stopped the beams as alarm filled his face. Everyone had now stopped training to watch the two. Seth laid there for a second, the pain in his head becoming more harder now. Slowly Seth got up and looked directly at Scott, his black and red hair were muffled from the fall and a large red sore was forming on his leg now. But Seth paid no mind, his face showed no signs of emotions. Suddenly, Seth's eyes flashed yellow and Scott was thrown several feet backwards crashing into the wall. Seth's eyes returned back to their soft brown and confusion flashed across his face. Everyone started running towards Scott as Logan walked up to Seth.
"It was just a stray beam kid. It couldn't of hurt that much. I thought you had grown up some and got over all this childish shit" Logan said as he sprinted over to Scott's aide.
"But I didn't mean, I don't know what happened" Seth started but stopped.
After the event in the gym, most people kept their distance from Seth. Now everyone knew that Seth had high telekinetic abilities, but no one had ever seen Seth use them so coldly and to such a small mean. It was like getting a paper cut and then blowing up a papermill. Very extreme indeed. So Seth spent the rest of the day on top of the mansion's rooftop. He kept replaying the scene over and over in his head. Scott was flying back and crashing into the wall. Seth didn't know how it had happened. It was as if something had taken over his very body and taken revenge against Scott. By now, the sun had started to set and footsteps made their way behind Seth.
"There you are" Jean said coming up to sit beside Seth.
"You're the last person I expected to see" Seth replied as he bought his knees up to his chest.
"Why's that?" Jean asked moving closer to Seth.
"Considering I made your boyfriend part of the gym wall, I don't know if you would be all happy and nice towards me" Seth replied as he sunk his head between his knees.
"It'll take alot more then that" Jean said putting her arm around Seth.
"I didn't mean too. I don't know what happened" Seth said, his eyes starting to water.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Jean asked, her voice filling with concern.
"It's starting to happen again" Seth said closing his eyes and brushing back his hair.
"What? What's happening?" Jean asked.
"I'm starting to loose control again. I can feel him taking over" Seth replied looking at Jean.
"Who!?" Jean asked now filled with alarm.
"Drake" Seth began. "I didn't realize it until it had already happened. He's starting to stir again"
"Do you mean Drake did that to Scott?" Jean asked.
"When Drake projected himself from me that night at my Mom's house. I didn't remember a thing. It was like no memory, a clean slate. That's how it was tonight" Seth replied.
"We can get through this Seth. We just need to study everything" Jean started.
"I'm turning into him again! There is no time to study!" Seth yelled out.
"Seth, calm down. Please." Jean asked getting more alarmed by the minute.
"I don't want to be him again. Drake does such bad things. I won't let myself hurt anyone else!" Seth shouted before shimmering away.
Hours had passed since Seth had disappeared. While mostly everyone started turning to bed, Logan and the others were still awake. Waiting for Seth to return from wherever he went. Logan had returned to the rooftop. It seemed to be one of the few places Seth could enjoy when they were together. Logan paced the rooftop reviewing what happened that afternoon. In some way he felt guilty for being so angry with Seth, but he knew he still had feelings for Scott. Otherwise, he would of not had reacted the way he did. After another hour or so of Logan's guilt parade, Seth finally appeared. Seth's clothes were dirty and tattered as he stumbled across the rooftop. Logan sniffed the alcohol as Seth plopped to the floor.
"Where you been?" Logan asked as he pulled a cigar from his back pocket.
"Here and there" Seth replied slurring his words lightly.
"Listen, about today" Logan began before Seth tossed him a bottle.
"Don't worry about it buddy. Take a drink" Seth said in a giddy voice.
"Are you alright?" Logan asked before he took a swig.
"Me? I'm peachy" Seth replied as he got up.
Seth started walking smoothly til he got to the steps. As soon as he took the first step, Seth immediately fell to the ground. Logan rushed over to help Seth.
"Damn it" Seth muttered as he pushed himself up enough to sit on the bottom step.
"Nasty fall you took there" Logan said looking at the scrape on Seth's arm.
"Whatever" Seth said as he grabbed the bottle from Logan.
"What's eating ya Bub?" Logan asked with a touch of sincerity.
Seth paused for a few minutes. Seth thought he had everything under control. He knew Drake was still a part of him, and he knew how much pain he caused. But for the most part, Seth thought that Drake had returned back deep inside where ever he first had came from. After the incident with Scott, Seth knew this was all false. Drake was still alive and had more control then ever. Seth was tired of being scared. He knew that Drake was cold and would not think twice about any of his actions. After a few more minutes of silence, Logan pinched Seth's leg which instantly brought Seth's attention.
"What the fuck was that for?" Seth yelped out.
"What's wrong with you kid? I've never seen you drink, and it's not because of your age. You just never shown the interest to. So why now?" Logan asked now getting pissed.
"I suppose if I get sloshed enough, I won't have to worry about Drake taking over. Like he did tonight" Seth answered before he passed out.
Logan let out a low growl as he picked up Seth. He had a strong feeling of quilt as he carried Seth to his bedroom. The feeling, that raw emotion cut slowly at Logan. He could remember a time when his emotions didn't have such a strong hold on him. Not even when he cared for Rogue, had his emotions ruled him so strongly. Logan could not remember such a time when they did. But now it seemed with Seth, there were new parts of himself opening up. Parts of himself that Seth enjoyed so much. Logan couldn't determine if he liked how opened he had become, or if he hated it. Seth was placed in bed, and Logan pulled his shoes and jacket off before he laid down. Seth let out a deep sigh before he turned over and laid his head on Logan's chest. In some way this surprised him, after the way he tore into Seth this evening he didn't think Seth would be too happy with him. Logan put an arm around Seth and slowly fell to sleep.
Morning came sooner then Seth had expected. He woke up just before sunrise. Logan was still sound asleep with an arm holding Seth tightly. Seth had a horrible headache and didn't bother to move. It seemed the room didn't spin as fast when one stayed still. Seth grasped Logan's arm and sat up some to examine the strong hand. It was times like these when Seth felt so complete. Like there was no other problem in the world that he could bother with. He looked closely at the strong hand before him. Fingertips that were lightly rough from all of the stress and combat that Logan endured them to everyday. But this one just one of the things that made Logan. Seth looked more closely to the red marks on his knuckles. Slightly red spots where his claws came out. Seth rubbed them softly, knowing that every time they came out it caused Logan pain. By now he was used to it, but Seth knew it hurt. He continued to run his fingers over Logan's knuckles looking for nothing special. Just taking this precious time to take in as much as he could about the person he loved so much. Seth gazed at the sight for a few more moments before retreating to the bathroom. As soon as the door shut, Logan cocked an eye open. When Seth was done, Logan acted as he was still asleep. Seth pulled on a pair of shoes and slowly made his way out of the room.
Seth made his way to the small clearing behind the school. Mainly the area was used for training and make out spots for some of the students. But for now it would be Seth's testing area. Seth moved deep enough into the woods so no one would be able to see him from school. When Seth felt he had enough cover he threw off his denim jacket and focused on a nearby rock. Instantly flames flew from his chest towards the rock. Seth concentrated on keeping the flames going, but as more time went by, he got tired and the pain had returned to his head. The flames immediately stopped but Seth hadn't commanded them to. He tried to make the flames reappear but he couldn't. Seth could feel the heat rise in his chest, but it wasn't powerful enough to form a stream. After a few more tries, Seth decided to focus on something else. He thought back to when the Professor had him training with Warren on flying. He really didn't have the gift of flight, mainly he used his newly acquired mental abilities to push himself into the air. But he wondered if he could still do it. Seth thought about flying and slowly lifted off the ground. By now Logan had followed and was watching from behind one of trees. Seth's head started to pound harder now, even though he was only a few feet off the ground. Seth grabbed his head and he lost it. Flames erupted from his body. Bright blue and red flames rippled through the clearing. Seth screamed aloud as his hair turned jet black. Seth's eyes blazed yellow as the flames continued to spread. Seth was in mid-air as Logan ran out calling to Seth to stop. As if on cue, the flames stopped and Seth's body dropped like a stone to the ground. Logan ran up to Seth. He wasn't moving and his eyes were closed. Logan fell to his knees and brought Seth closer to him. He ran his hand through Seth's hair, it wasn't his usual black mixed with red.
"Logan!" Jean yelled out as she ran into the clearing towards Logan with Scott behind her.
"Help him Jean" Logan said in a tone of urgency.
"The Professor told us something was wrong and we rushed out here. What was he doing Logan?" Scott asked as he pulled supplies out from his bag.
"He was testing his powers. But this happened" Logan said as he held tightly onto Seth.
"His pulse is normal and so is his heartbeat. It's as if he's asleep.
"Then what's wrong with him?" Logan asked, his grip getting tighter around Seth.
"Let's get him to the medical bay. Perhaps Hank can find something"
Just as Logan was picking Seth up, Seth shimmered away from his arms. Everyone had a look of complete confusion on their face. Scott started sprinting deeper into the woods while Logan started looking for new tracks. Suddenly there was an explosion and flames and lasers flew out into the opening. Jean and Logan ducked from the blasts. As soon as everything was cleared, the two started running to the scene but was halted by a flying Scott which immediately crashed into Logan and Jean. The three of them got up and was all shocked by who they were greeted by. There, through the settling smoke stood a man with yellow eyes, jet black hair and a body that was being licked with red flames. Logan turned his head from the sight before him. The person who stood before them all was Drake. In all control, no halves, no good and bad versions of Seth. Just the dark and cold Drake with all of Seth's powers.
"Never liked him much. I always seemed to get into a pissing contest with him" Drake said with a smirk.
"Seth?" Jean asked with confusion.
"He's gone and all that's left is me" Drake replied in complete smugness.
"Bring him back. Bring him back now!" Logan growled with clenched fists.
"No thanks Claws. I'm sick and tired of Seth being such a whimp over a piece of cock" replied Drake in a cold voice.
"Drake, Seth is the proper identity. You cannot take over, you have to give control back to Seth" Jean said as she helped Scott up.
While Jean tried to reason with Drake for Seth's return, Drake was busy with a hand behind his back that was creating an enormous fireball. One sniff of the air and Logan immediately knew something was wrong, he knew Drake was planning something.
"Jean, Scott look out!" Logan yelled as Drake exposed the fireball.
Drake aimed the fireball at them but before he had enough time to strike, Jean had placed an energy field to protect them. The fireball hit the shield and instantly exploded. The earth shook from the pure force of energy. This seemed to amuse Drake even more as he prepared to fire again. Literally. Jean pushed Logan and Scott back as she moved forward towards Seth.
"You shouldn't play with fire. You could get burned" Jean said as she raised her arms and was engulfed in flames.
"Nice trick" Drake replied as his yellow eyes glowed brighter then ever.
Flames flew from Drake's chest, but they didn't seem to phase Jean the slightest. In fact, it seemed to give Jean more power. Her eyes burned flame red as she continued to fight Drake's attacks. Drake hurled another fireball towards a large oak that slammed mere inches away from where Jean stood. Jean continued moving closer to Drake as the flames burned behind her a trail in the earth. Drake started throwing anything he could at Jean. Stones and large branches raced towards her, but were destroyed before meeting contact. Drake focused all of his energy into a highly concentrated fireball and prepared to throw. With a swift move of the hand, Drake was thrown right into a tree literally making an impact. All of a sudden, Jean returned to normal. Her eyes weren't red anymore and all of the flames that surrounded her body had gone. Drake slowly pulled away from the tree. He had sort of a limp as he felt behind his back. Drake had crashed directly into a broken branch and was now badly hurt. A look of guilt streaked Jean's face when she saw the blood covering the tree.
"I guess you got me" Drake responded as he shook while rubbing the blood on his shirt.
"Seth. I'm sorry" Jean said as tears ran down her face.
"Not Seth. Remember?" Drake stated between gritted teeth.
As Drake stumbled away from the tree, his yellow eyes flashed their original almond brown for a mere second before turning to their unnatural yellow. Logan tried to get closer to Drake, he wanted to bring back the rightful owner of the body that stood before him. Before he took another step, Drake's hands erupted in flames. Drake gave a final look of pure hate before shimmering away.
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