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Hawthorne Awakening
by
Ritch Christopher
Part Five
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To Noah, it appeared he had succeeded in fooling his parents and Hal in concealing his whereabouts the night before. He convinced all of them that he had had a nice reunion with his classmate and his classmate's parents. Only Steve knew where he'd really been and his motive for a clandestine meeting in Greenport, or at least so he thought, as he had no idea that Randy had seen him and Steve at Motel 6. Since his classmate and his parents had "left", there was no reason to ever mention it again to anyone.
Even though Noah knew that Steve was straight and had rebuffed Noah's several gay advances, Noah did not give up hope. Steve was willing to go just so far. After all, Steve had not hit him when he kissed him and Steve DID hold him in bed with the lights off. These gestures only encouraged Noah that "next time", he could go even further. Steve DID get an erection. That was cause for a mild celebration as far as Noah was concerned.
Steve didn't know whether to be embarrassed or angry at being "caught" by Randy. He felt sure that Randy wouldn't divulge his secret to Hal and, hopefully, not to Ty. At the same time. Steve was still surprised to learn that Randy and Ty had fooled around together. The two of them had maintained their secret relationship and had hidden their sexual activity from everyone. Steve was also in shock at how Randy had openly told of his and Ty's homosexual activities with no qualms or reluctance. Apparently Hal had no idea of what Randy and Ty were doing and had done. He surely would have mentioned it to his best friend, Steve.
Steve always felt that his and Hal's friendship was stronger and deeper than Randy's and Ty's. Why hadn't he and Hal ever ventured into the world of best friend or brotherly eroticism or mutual pleasure? They loved one another enough to be blood brothers and yet Randy and Ty had gone further than Steve ever imagined going with Hal. The closest Hal and Steve had ever come to a sexual experience was back in high school when the two of them had sex with the same girl on the same night. Several times when Hal had gone first, Steve would slide his penis into the girl where Hal had just been and felt Hal's warm semen still inside the girl's pussy. This warm, wet feeling had aroused Steve even more, but he credited that feeling to the girl and not to his best friend's hot sperm.
All the way home from the Motel 6 in Greenport, Steve had replayed his conversation with Johnny in his mind. Johnny would be proud of him for refusing sex with Noah, but was Steve proud of himself? Noah was a willing partner and it would have been so easy for Steve to enjoy a good blowjob or his first attempt at anal sex. No one would have known...except for Noah and himself, who would never tell. But then, carelessly, Steve had allowed Randy to catch him.
Steve also envisioned how he felt just holding Noah. The kid was so romantic and Noah cradled in his arms so wonderfully. Was it the fact that this was something new? Steve had held hundreds of girls in his arms, but never a boy. His erection remained taut in his jeans until he got home and he found himself masturbating, using Noah as his fantasy. Steve did not understand what was happening to him. Johnny told him that a person didn't "become" gay. One had to be born with the traits. How in hell could he have suppressed gay thoughts his entire life if he had been born that way? None of it made sense. What was even worse...Noah had picked up on Steve's attraction to him. Had anyone else? Had Hal? Had his parents? Of course not...not with his track record of female conquests!
Noah arrived home from Greenport around 9:00 AM. His parents weren't in sight, so he slipped into his bedroom to find Hal still asleep. After Steve left him in the motel, Noah had stayed awake most of the night dreaming of what might have happened and hadn't slept too much, so he decided to take off his clothes and nap until noon unless he was disturbed. Noah removed his shoes, socks, and shirt with only his pants to go, when Hal turned over in his bed and began to wake up.
"Just gettin' in, sport?" Hal asked, yawning widely.
"Yeah."
"How was your buddy?"
"Fine."
"You two anxious to get back to school in the fall?"
"Uh...we're...well, yes and no. No one's ever glad to get back to school."
Hal threw back his covers to reveal his morning wood, which immediately drew Noah's attention. Hal noticed Noah's eyes and instantly put his hand over his erection to hide it.
"Sorry about that, but I gotta pee."
"I'm sorry that I stared," Noah said, continuing to take off his trousers.
Hal could feel Noah watching him as he crossed the room naked and went down the hall to the bathroom. Noah got into his bed and hid his nakedness. A few minutes later, Hal returned with a flaccid penis.
"Aren't you kinda brave walkin' down the hall naked?" Noah asked. "I mean, I didn't know that you walked around that way with Momma and Dad in the house."
"Oh, they aren't here. Momma wanted Dad to take her to the curb market real early and buy some fresh vegetables before they got picked over."
"I didn't think you had become that open while I was away at school."
"I haven't. As you well know, I hardly ever let you see me naked, let alone with a morning hard on."
"I think that was the first time," Noah said.
"Wonder why, after being brothers all these years? Hal, Randy, Ty...hell, we've all seen each other naked...but not my own brother. Come to think of it, I've never seen you completely naked either."
"We've...we've always respected the other's privacy, I guess," Noah said. "Where did you go last night?"
"Carolyn's."
"You're getting pretty sweet on her, aren't you?"
"Yeah, I guess," Hal, replied, getting back into his own bed and pulling up the covers.
"Serious?"
"Kinda."
"You...you going to marry her?"
"Thinkin' about it!"
"You're kidding!"
"Nope."
"Why Carolyn? She's certainly not the prettiest or the nicest girl you've dated. Why do you think she would make you a good wife?"
Hal sighed. "I guess we're not really close brothers if we can't tell each other our secrets, are we? Hell, we sleep in the same room. We're embarrassed to see one another naked. Me and my friends have all jerked off in front of one another and my own brother just saw me hard for the first time!"
"What are you getting at, Hal?"
"Shit! We might as well start now, trustin' one another."
"You got a secret, Hal?"
"Yeah, Steve knows about it, but none of my family does."
"You gonna tell me?"
"Why not? Noah, Carolyn is pregnant!"
"Good Lord! Is it yours?"
"Yes, goddammit! But don't go tellin' Momma and Dad."
"I won't! I promise. But what are you gonna do about it?"
"I want her to have the baby! Since the kid is mine, I want it, even if I have to marry her."
"Jesus!"
"I know."
"What does Carolyn say about it?"
"She wants to get an abortion."
"So what are you gonna do?"
"We're still arguin' about it. I went to see her last night and she carried on somethin' awful...cryin', screamin', and hollerin`. Noah, take it from me and be very, very careful when you start havin' sex with girls."
"I...I will."
"You haven't yet, have you?"
"No."
"Well, be careful when you do is all I have to say."
"I hope I never have that problem."
"Noah, since we're bein' open with each other for the first time, can I ask you somethin'?"
"I suppose."
"I hope this doesn't embarrass you or get you mad at me, but what's goin' on between you and Steve?"
Noah couldn't help it that his face was turning red.
"What do you mean, Hal?"
"You going out with him alone for two straight nights...and the way you look at him. Somethin's goin' on...at least on your part. I don't think Steve has any idea about it."
"Hal, can I trust you not to say anything to Momma and Dad, the way you just asked me?"
"It's about time we became brothers and opened up! Hell, no, I won't say anything, after what I just told you about Carolyn and me."
"Hal, don't get angry or hit me...but I think I'm gay."
"I figgered as much."
"Am I that obvious? Do you think Momma and Dad think it too?"
"No, they haven't seen you when you were around Steve...but just where does Steve fit into all this? I sure as hell know that he's not gay!"
"Hal, I think I love him."
"I figgered that out, too."
"How?"
"I heard you say it in your sleep."
"Oh, my gosh!"
"It's OK. I'm the only one who heard you. But you still haven't answered how Steve fits into the picture."
"Hal, Steve met me at the Motel 6 last night."
"He what?!!! Let me get this straight! Steve Jarvis, my best friend, met my own brother at a motel? What for, for Christ's sake?"
"I...I wanted him to have sex with me."
"You what?!!!"
"I tricked him and lured him down to Greenport to meet me there. He thought I'd had a fight at home and had gone there to get away from here. He had no idea what I was planning to do."
"So what happened?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing? Well, thank God for that! Noah, have you gone insane? Did you think that the mighty cockhound of Hawthorne could have queer sex with you?"
"I was hoping."
"So what did Steve do? Did he get mad and hit you?"
"No. As a matter of fact, he took off most of his clothes and got into the bed with me and held me."
"You've GOT to be lyin', Noah. Steve would NEVER do that, unless he was drunk or high on weed."
"He was stone cold sober."
"God damn! I'm sorry, but I don't believe you."
"Please, Noah, please, don't mention it to him!"
"You made me promise not to say anything to Momma or Dad, but you sure as hell didn't mention me not askin' Steve about it."
"Hal, it'll ruin EVERYTHING if you do."
"What's there to ruin? Steve ain't no fuckin' queer. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that, but Steve ain't gay, neither."
For the second time, Hal threw off his covers and stood up. He reached for the clothes he had worn the night before which he had strewn on the easy chair in the bedroom and began to dress.
Noah sat up in bed. "Hal, where are you going?"
"Where else? I'm goin' to see Steve and get to the bottom of all this."
"Hal, I'm begging you! Please, DON'T!"
"Noah, Steve and I have been best friends since before you were born! There's never been anything queer or gay about him...and if there is, I want to know why he's kept it from me all our lives. Jesus Christ! He's fucked every girl in this whole county and never once, have I seen him lookin' at a guy!"
"Hal...PLEASE!"
Hal was finished dressing and headed toward the door.
"I'll be back!" Hal yelled angrily as he slammed the bedroom door.
Noah's fear turned into tears as he buried his face in his pillow and wept.
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It had been years since either Hal or Steve knocked on each other's doors. The other's parents had adopted both, so the each of them came and went into the other's house unannounced. Hal parked his car hurriedly and ran into the Jarvis household, down to Steve's room where Steve was still asleep.
Hal walked to the foot of Steve's bed and heavily swatted one of Steve's feet, which awoke Steve instantly.
"Ow!" Steve yelled, looking up to see an angry look on his best friend's face. "What the fuck did you do that for?"
"Wake up, asshole!"
"I'm awake! What the fuck do you want?"
"I want some answers!" Hal said, firmly.
"Answers? Answers to what?"
"I want to know what the fuck you've been doing with Noah?"
"Noah?"
"Yes, Noah! You know...my kid brother!"
"What do you mean, Hal?"
"Don't give me that! You know goddamned well what I mean."
"I've been doing nothin' to Noah...just gettin' to know him better."
"Better how?"
"He's all grown up now. I just wanted to stop treatin' him like the kid he used to be."
"Why didn't you invite me to come along?"
"You could have."
"Yeah, but I didn't! 'Cause I wasn't asked!"
"Hal, why are you so angry? Are you jealous?"
"You're my best friend, or at least, I thought you were...until my kid brother took my place in your life."
"Jesus, man! Back off! There's nothing changed between you and me."
"Oh?"
"Hal, what are you gettin' at?"
"As if you didn't know!"
"I don't!"
"Like hell, you don't! Tell me what happened at Motel 6 last night."
"Nothing happened at Motel 6."
"You didn't take your clothes off, turn off the lights, and hold Noah in bed?"
"Who told you that?"
"Noah! Who else?"
"Hal, I swear to you..."
"Can it! I don't want you lyin' to me after all the years we've been friends."
"I'm not lyin', Hal. Nothin' happened."
"Then why would my own brother lie to me?"
"You'll have to ask him, Hal. I don't know why."
"Do you know that he thinks he's in love with you?"
"Shit! Now I'm sure you've gone bonkers!"
"He said it! He loves you! So? What about you? Do you love him too?"
"Hal, you know fuckin' well that I'm not queer."
"I always believed that up until this mornin'!"
"Well, I'm still not!"
"DID YOU or DID YOU NOT meet Noah at Motel 6 in Greenport?"
"I won't lie. Yes, I did."
"What for? A quick blow job from my kid brother?"
"Good God, NO! I would never..."
"Run out of pussy? Needed a virgin hole to fuck?"
"Hal, would you please calm down and give me a chance to explain?"
"I'm listenin'!"
"Noah called me from the motel. He sounded like he was in trouble or had had a fight at home. I went to see him to find out what had happened."
"And then what happened."
"When I got there, he surprised me at the door and kissed me."
"That makes me want to puke, Steve."
"I was revolted, too, at first."
"Then what happened? Did you kiss him back?"
"Hell, no. Noah told me over a week ago that he thought he was queer...or gay, as he put it!"
"Why did he tell you and not me?"
"I guess he was afraid that you'd go ballistic, just as you did with me just now."
"Bullshit!"
"Did you beat him up when he told you?"
"No, I was madder at you than I was at him. I rushed over here to get your side of the story. So what's goin' on?"
"Hal, I don't know how to explain all this to you. I...I don't know what's happening to me. I've never had a kid brother. Noah seemed disturbed about somethin'. I wanted him to open up and tell me what it was, if he wanted to."
"And so he did, huh?"
"The first night we went out, he told me about his gay feelings. I sorta felt sorry for him. I'd never paid much attention to him, his being a kid and all. Anyway, after I took him home, I had these strange feelings. I've always loved you like a brother, but suddenly, I felt some kind of love toward Noah. It was different from the kind of love I feel for you."
"How different?"
"It was like he wanted someone to understand the way he feels. He wanted someone to hold him...to feel safe...to cry on my shoulder. When I got home, I felt bad that I didn't hold him. He needed me...or you, probably,but he was afraid to say to you what he'd told me. It was the next night that he told me that he thought he loved me. No one had ever said that to me...no girl...and CERTAINLY no guy. I began to feel something for him. I don't think it was love, but I wanted to hold him, too...as a friend or a kid brother."
"You've lost your mind, Steve."
"I thought so, too."
"And then you probably got a hardon and wanted to fuck him as well."
"I won't say that the idea didn't cross my mind...but being straight, I couldn't allow myself to do it. God knows, Noah was willin' and wanted to have sex with me, but I couldn't, no more than you could."
"Then why did you take off your clothes and get into bed with him?"
"To please him...to make him feel happy!"
"That's horseshit!"
Steve was gaining no ground with an explanation to Hal, so he tried to change the subject momentarily.
"Hey, Hal, can you come down off your high horse long enough to fill me in on what's happening between you and Carolyn?"
"If you were still my best friend, I'd tell you that Carolyn and I are gonna get married."
"When?"
"Soon...only no one knows it. I called my Uncle Herbert and Aunt Sudie, down in Ashville, and they told me that Carolyn and I could live with them until the baby's born."
"You're leavin'?"
"Yep!"
"Were you gonna leave and not tell me?"
"I probably would have before all this Noah business came up. Now, I don't know. I ought to wait until Noah heads back to school so I can look after him and protect him from you."
"That's not fair, Hal. You can't protect your brother the rest of his life. You've got to let him grow up some time."
"I'll see to it that he grows up without YOU around."
"Hal, you can't change Noah's feelings, no more than I can."
"He said he loves you, Steve, and that ain't right! You still haven't told me how you feel about him."
"What would you say if I were to tell you I might love him, too?"
"I'd think you had some ulterior motive about getting him to perform oral sex on you and then you'd run off and leave him and break his heart. I can't let that happen, Steve."
"After all the years we've been best friends, you can't trust me?"
"Looks that way. Goddammit, Steve! You ain't no queer. How can you say something like you might love him, too? Jesus Christ! You gonna tell me that you love me, too? I mean, after all, you and me've been closer than you and Noah."
"I've always loved you, Hal, and always will."
"Did you ever dream of havin' sex with me as well?"
"When we were about fifteen or sixteen, I used to wonder if you were jerkin' off, the same as me. I used to wonder how big your dick was. Was it bigger than mine? I used to think how much fun it would be if I could jerk you off and you do the same to me."
"More bullshit!"
"It's true! Be honest with me, Hal, didn't you ever have similar feelin's about me?"
"Maybe once or twice, but, hell, we were just kids."
"When you had those thoughts, did you think YOU were queer?"
"Fuck NO!"
"Why not?"
"I was too young to even know what a queer was, much less, be one myself!"
"You don't think that two guys can fall in love?"
"Two that are sick in the head, maybe."
"Hal, if I DID have sex with Noah, what would you've done? Tried to kill both of us."
"Probably just you. Noah's still too young to know what he's doin'."
"You might be surprised, Hal. He's older than you think."
"I only know that you're old enough to take advantage of him."
"That's not true, either! I'd never do that!"
"That's right, and I intend to see that you don't!"
"Not even if he loved me and I loved him?"
"Not even then! Steve, for Christ's sake, what's come over you?"
"I keep asking myself that same question."
"And how did you answer yourself?"
"I hated to admit it to myself, but, yes, Hal, I do love Noah!"
"And you wanna have sex with him?"
"When the time is right, yes!"
"God damn! I can't believe my ears. I mean, YOU, of all people, turnin' queer, almost overnight!"
"It does sound strange, doesn't it?"
"You mean it sounds 'queer', don't you?"
"Hal, would you give me and Noah a chance to see how we really feel about each other?"
"That's askin' a lot, Steve. I don't know."
"He'll be goin' back to school in six or eight weeks. He and I can have the rest of the summer to see where it leads."
"I can't wait that long. Carolyn's almost showin' now. We can't keep her pregnancy a secret much longer."
"You gonna wait until you get to Ashville before you marry her?"
"That's the plan. Then we're gonna call her folks and my folks and break the news to them before they make a ruckus about the baby."
"In the meanwhile, what about Noah...and me?"
"Aw, shit! I don't care what you do! Buy him candy and posies and take him out on dates until you have your way with him and ruin his life. Maybe that's what Noah deserves. One thing's for sure, I know you're not gonna be braggin' about havin' sex with him in Smiley's. If my dad finds out, he'll shoot you...and word DOES get around."
"You think I don't know I'm playin' with dynamite?"
"Steve, the only thing I'll ask of you is, 'don't hurt him, Steve'. Please don't hurt him."
"Then I have your permission to see him?"
"I...I guess, as long as you keep it quiet."
"Then I guess I'd better tell you that Randy saw Noah and me at Motel 6."
"Good God! What did he say?"
"Randy and I had a long talk at Katie's and he told me secrets about him and Ty...things that would keep him from sayin' anything about Noah and me."
"Randy and Ty? What kind of things?"
"Want to venture a guess?"
"Oh, shit, no! Don't tell me! Randy and Ty? Jesus! Did you know?"
"Not until he told me this morning."
"Goddamn! I've been cavortin' with a bunch of queers all my life and didn't know it! What about Wade? Him, too?"
"I don't think so. Wade is a total virgin with girls AND guys! He could never have sex with anyone without a written permission slip from his mother."
"Thank God, someone's straight in our crowd besides me!"
"Hal, do you want me to drive down with you to Ashville and be your best man?"
"Not the maid of honor?"
"Go fuck yourself!"
"Well, how do I know what you're gonna do? Are you going to become my sister-in-law once I leave?"
"You never can tell," Steve laughed for the first time since Hal entered his bedroom.
Steve was surprised and embarrassed when Hal suddenly yanked Steve's covers off him to reveal Steve naked.
"What the fuck did you do that for?"
"I wanted to get a good look at your dick and see why my brother finds it so attractive."
"He's never seen it, Hal."
"I have...many times, and it still does nothing for me."
"The time wasn't right."
"Can I ask you somethin' kinda personal?"
"When did you ever stop before?"
"Noah...what was it like to kiss him? I mean, is he a good kisser?"
"I was too shocked to enjoy it, I guess. But, yes, he is a good kisser I guess."
"Was Noah the first guy you've ever kissed?"
"The first and only. Why did you ask?"
"I just can't see two men kissin' each other!"
"Wanna try it?"
"Fuck no! Save your kisses for the youngest member of my family."
"Are you too much of a chicken shit to try it?"
"I ain't chicken about doin' nothin'!"
"Then I dare you!"
"What? Kiss you?"
"We're closer than brothers. Some brothers kiss each other all the time in foreign countries. I saw the Russian Olympic team kiss each other after every event on TV."
"Well, this is Hawthorne, not Russia!"
"Come on, chicken shit, I dare you to kiss me. Can't you take a dare?"
"Why do you want me to kiss you?"
"To see what it's like. Are you the least bit curious?"
"Shit, Steve, this is fuckin' silly."
"Prove you're not afraid."
"Oh, Goddammit! Lean over here!"
Steve raised himself up in bed and Hal, nervously, placed his lips on Steve's. Their lips locked and Steve slowly raised his arms to embrace his best friend. Out of the corner of Hal's eye, he noticed Steve popping a boner. This excited Hal and he sprang an erection as well, which stunned Hal and he instantly pulled his mouth away from Steve's.
"You got excited, didn't you?" Steve asked.
"What did you expect...seein' your hard on gave me one."
"You didn't think that would happen to you, did you?"
"Fuck no! But it won't happen again. That was my first and last time to ever do that! I'm disgusted with myself. Don't ever ask me to do that again or I'll beat the shit out of you!"
"But you see that it CAN happen, even when you don't expect it?"
"I gotta go, Steve. I got to get home. Noah was mad at me when I left and he's probably run away from home by now."
"If he's not at home, give me a call and I'll help you look for him."
Hal adjusted the crotch of his jeans and got up to leave. When he was at the door he turned and said, "Just remember what I said, Steve. Don't hurt him. Don't hurt my brother."
"I won't, Hal. I promise."
Hal left.
<><><><><><><><><>(To be continued in Part Six)