Hello readers, I am a new author, and I'm writing my first story. I have the first couple of chapters done, but I still need to critique them so they are looking a little better. I'll plan on publishing them if I get some feedback about these stories. I can use all the constructive criticism as possible. I know there has to be something to complain about, and I'd like to hear about it! Simon46052@yahoo.com is my e-mail (Simon isn't my real name either) and I'd like to hear from ya!
Disclaimer: If it is illegal in any fashion for you to read about the relationship of males in the adolescent years, please take your bearings and GO! Otherwise... read on, read on.
Also, please be nice and don't copy this story to a website of any fashion. If you e-mail me and ask, 9 out of 10 times I'll happily say yes :).
Prologue
"It was a dark and stormy night..." I wrote. Then, I realized exactly what I was writing and how old and dull that line was. "Shit" I said no louder than a whisper, and threw my pen down and decided to go to bed. Tonight I was yet again left alone, I normally was. I'm not as outgoing or cheerful to really be apart of or fit in any group. Although cheerful is exaggerated by a plentiful amount, it fits the mood I'm in at the moment. There are a few awkward aspects about my more than skewed little life, and friends are apart of that category.
I don't exactly hang out with anybody. I'm a friend with everybody in our class it seems, but to be best friends with somebody is an experience I have not yet felt. I can go from clique to clique, and say hi, or give a pat on the back, but there is just something always missing, telling me that I'm not fully apart or even meant to be the best of friends with any one person.
These were my final thoughts has I slowly went to bed, giving up on the whole writing thing I decided to do. I left the blinds to my windows open so that I could see the lightning, thunder, and beautiful rain go on while it slowly cradled me into a sleep. Alone I felt, alone with the beautiful nature outside my window, and nothing more did I have, except that and my thoughts, which overpower me at times, but now it was time to forget this horrible day, a day that I had not wanted to wake up to, to stand up to, or to live through. Sleep is needed. Insomnia will not take me this time. It will not.
The name is Jeremy Caulaghar (Call-A-Gar... nice example eh?). I'm from a small town down on the outskirts of Indianapolis. Sixteen years, have a license, a nice car, and a life that needs patching. I'm the average Joe, blonde hair with blue eyes; I play tennis and baseball, and a pianist better than average. I've played sports all my life, from little league soccer for six years or so of my life, to baseball and basketball. That ended quite abruptly though, after I figured out that sports were not going to be my strong point.
I did play baseball until I had a back problem, and that left me with tennis. I'm okay at that sport, I play varsity for our school's team, but I'm not too strong, not to great, just a little better than average. I excel in the arts, as opposed to the rest of my family, who is good in sports, or in some academic range of events, I'm just not as good as the rest it's always seemed. They were always there to rub that fact in for me. Always.
I'll state it once again; I am a piano player. From the finer points of faking sickness to skip a lesson, to looking forward to my weekly lesson a day before it would occur. I would be called an intermediate player on an advanced level, and for however many years I've played, you better believe it! Anyhow, that's about all the background information I'm going to be giving, you'll get the rest of it has the story progresses.
I woke up to the triumphant sound of my alarm clock for another dreary morning. Moving day, maybe this day wouldn't be so dreary I thought. I was heading out to a new place, a fresh one at the least. I'd been out to Indianapolis a couple times before to visit see the area, and my home just north of there. A beautiful place, especially in the fall, but from the weather reports I've seen, it's going to be hard adjusting to the winter.
I got dressed in my armament of clothes, and scurried down the stairs to the kitchen where hopefully one bowl of cold cereal would still be in the cabinet. My dad practically moved as much as possible so our drive would be very easy, and simple. I got lucky, and even managed to find a bowl and spoon.
I ate my cereal and relaxed next to a newspaper, the Central Florida Future. Nothing interesting to read except for a few kittens being saved by the local fire department. I figured that I should put a few more boxes into our car before my dad awoke so that we could get going soon. I shoved the paper bowl and plastic spoon into the trash bag, and headed up to my room silently to put in my last few looks at an empty room. Only a sleeping bag, alarm clock, and light stood there, clean as a whistle too.
My dad was up and moving after I put a few more boxes into the car, he was a great person, our neighbors and friends were sad to see us go. I wasn't fully upset that I would be starting over; I had a chance to make some good friends, not just these casual acquaintances I saw every day for lunch. To tell the truth, they cared as much about me as they did the bottom of their shoe.
Anyhow, they were out, and I had a whole new path to create for myself. I had a chance to maybe meet someone more than a friend, someone who would be... like me. Acceptance was the only issue I had, I wanted to be accepted by somebody, and god knows that if I told anyone, even my dad, I'd be left in a gutter somewhere to rot. I wished that a good group of friends would want to meet me at my locker after school, and want to see how my day went. Even if I didn't find a boyfriend, I'd be more than happy with a few nice friends, even if they didn't know my secret.
I shuffled out of my trance, and realized that I had nearly finished clearing out the old two-story house. It had a black/brown roof, and was white, freshly painted and all, sold to a new couple that we both hoped wouldn't give them any problems. Soon later, my dad and I finally caught a breath to actually talk to each other.
"Hey son, managed to get up without my help this morning I see." He said giving me a chuckling eye.
I replied "Yeah, one of those days I guess."
"Well, I hope you get used to waking up, I'm not going to always drag you out of bed you know."
I replied "Sure, sure" in my sleek tone.
"Time to get moving, looks like you're all packed, all you have to do is follow me, I'll be going the speed limit so we can make sure to dodge a speeding ticket for you and your lead foot there."
"Yes father" I said.
We slowly got moving, and I stepped into my car, my dad in his, and we shut the door for the last time. I think I saw a tear in my dad's eye; moving from the house that mom was last in was as hard for him as it was for me. She left us, and my dad made up for it better than I expected.
Anyhow, it was an uneventful, boring, strenuous, and long trip. We managed to get there late that night. My dad was proud of our new house; it was bigger in size to our last house having a basement, two floors, two bathrooms, two bedrooms, and a nice kitchen and living room. It was a brown brick house, with a black roof; it really fit in to the surrounding houses, the house looked very nice.
My room was the basement, meaning I can play the piano, blare any music, and almost anything I wanted and you couldn't hear a thing unless my door was open. The movers were paid to put in all of our stuff, and they somehow managed to get the huge piano down that tiny walking space without so much as scratching anything.
Home sweet home. That's where I was, a home to live in for the rest of my life as a teenager. My dad and I were exhausted, so we had our goodnight grumbles and managed to find the way to our rooms. I went to sleep with the thought that I could recreate my life. I also had a dream I met a cute guy, but that ended as fast as it came due to the alarm clock my dad managed to plug in before he went to bed that night.
BRRRRIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGG
"Jesus" I exclaimed. Rising up from my bed in a cold sweat, scared literally half to death. My next thought was when I die I'm definitely not going to miss that damned machine.
I rose slowly to seeing a bright sunny day through the little windows that were just above ground level. I felt as though my life had hit a restart button, and let me be the first to tell you, it was GREAT!
I did my usual morning routine, took a shower in my very own bathroom! (I'm overly enjoying this, but hey! I can because I can!) I then headed upstairs finding a note on the kitchen counter:
Son, I've headed out to my office building to figure out where I'm going to be working from now on, I'll be back later on tonight. Do me a favor and explore the town so we can figure out somewhere to eat tonight.
-Dad
I left the note in the trash container, and had some hot tea and cereal to start my morning. I didn't have a paper to unfold to because we don't have anything yet, not even television until the installation guys get here.
My morning was pretty well set, I was going to take a walk around this community, see what I could see, and then head home for lunch, and practice around a little on the piano after that. Life was easy at the moment. I love it that way too.
After I got in a pair of sweat pants and a jacket, I closed the front door, and stood on my porch and debated, do I turn right... or left? Both sides of the street looked to be filled with houses, and I decided the right might be a little more exciting due to the fact that I heard a car start down that way. I started walking around, being the second time I've been in this community, it was new as ever, and exciting to see as well. I strolled down the sidewalk, and it seemed like a pretty boring morning this summer day. Not a sole to be seen, probably all at work I assumed.
I got to the end of the road, and noticed that if I had gone left it would have been just as exciting due to the fact that it was a giant loop with houses scattered around it. As I started walking out of the neighborhood, I walked across the barren street, much to my surprise finding a nice sized park. It was beautiful as well; the really awkward part was the fact that I barely remembered any of this scenery when we flew down here last spring. I had a feeling I would like this community if I could only manage to see some people my age...
I strolled around the park, saying 'hi' or 'hello' to whomever was walking about, most of the people older than my dad, and found myself back at where I started. It seemed the town I lived in was pretty secluded; I didn't even manage to see a gas station. As I found myself back at the entrance to my housing division, I took the left side back towards my house.
I was about half way there when I noticed a basketball game going on in someone's driveway. They looked to be a few years younger than me, maybe a couple ten year olds trying to occupy their day. I didn't really think about introducing myself, but as it turned out, a basketball came down their driveway as I passed, and I tossed it back.
"Thanks pal" was the reply I got, to which I said "No problem" and moved on. With that, I decided it was time to go home. I passed by the house, having about half a block or more to go to get to my own, wondering who all lived in this community.
Out of the blue, I felt someone's hand on my shoulder, scaring me half to death. I turned to see what was going on, and I saw a brown haired guy that was hard to look away from, his eyes made me stop all other bodily movements, and I just stood there, almost dumbfounded.
"Hey Simon... wait... you're not Simon." The voice said.
"No, I'm Jeremy, I'm new here"
"Oh sorry pal didn't mean to frighten you, thought you were someone else."
"Oh, no problem" was the best reply I could come up with.
I thought about moving on, saying 'bye' or 'seeya later' figuring he prolly was looking for this Simon character, but he spoke quite abruptly after I spoke last.
"Oh! I heard someone was moving into the Stanley's old house, they said a guy and his kid were gonna be moving in, I figured it'd be a baby or something, well, anyhow, My name's Craig, Craig Timberland."
"Nice to meet you, my names Jeremy Caulaghar" I said as I shook hands.
"Well Jeremy, I live right over here" he said as he pointed to a white house with black shudders that was across the street and a few doors down from my house. "Cool, well I'll stop by sometime with the gang and get everyone introduced after I catch up with Simon, we were supposed to go somewhere today, and I'm a little late on meeting him. Well, I'll talk to you later today if that's okay with ya?"
I simply replied "uh, sure." And Craig said "bye" as he jogged across the street and through someone's backyard, and after he left I couldn't wait to see him again. Wait, that's not like me, I didn't mean that, did I?
I scurried on home, deep in thought, wondering how one person had the affect of sticking in my mind that long, I didn't think anyone could do that! I walked into my house and scurried down to my room to play the piano, I figured I needed a refreshing song, so I pulled out Pachelbel's Cannon in D and played and critiqued for maybe two or three hours. It was about three o'clock I decided that it was time to play something other than classical. I was in a jazzy mood, which I normally was, so I pulled out a score I had written last summer, and played as I drifted off in thought about this day's events.