Healing Broken Hearts 5
Healing Broken Hearts
part 5
by MarkB
******* DISCLAIMER BIT *******
This story was written by myself and so the copyright remains mine! It's a work of fiction and even though some of the situations MAY have happened to someone somewhere, no resemblance to anyone is intended. Also, the story deals with gay love and at some point will have descriptions of homosexual intimacy. If you are offended by that sort of thing, well then you're in the wrong place.
This is my first story so any comments (and support, he he) are welcomed to: marklbarwell@hotmail.com
Please be kind and bear with me since I have a big story to tell...
Oh, and I do not condone the use of narcotics and in fact aim to provide a more enlightened view of their use at points in this story. So on with the show.....
****************
The next few hours passed quietly. Jamie was nestled deep in the bed cushions, lost in a world of his own imaginings. Scott continued to play the protector, partly due to a creeping affection for the boy, partly from a responsible streak that ran through him but only seemed to work in favour of others than himself, and partly from a feeling of guilt.
He regretted the incident in the bathroom, not because it hadn't excited him. Every fibre in his body twitched with lust in memory of that moment. But he had regrets because he could empathise with Jamie's situation, had been in similar ones himself, and he'd never thought that one day he'd be in the dominant position with a chemically-urged companion that he could take his frustrations out on. Some people seemed to thrive on such hollow power, but Scott just felt cheap and dirty.
Perhaps it would have been better if Jamie had taken him in his gorgeous youthful arms and made sweet love to him afterwards. At least Scott would have known that the two of them were on some sort of similar wavelength. He suspected that Jamie had gay tendencies but could tell that he was hiding pain of some kind. Something that was stopping him from showing how he really felt.
Perhaps he didn't even find Scott attractive. The older boy had done a lot in his life and had grown out of that childish thought-pattern that affects a certain proportion of cute young men. Just because Jamie was probably gay didn't automatically mean that he would like Scott in that way. After all, the kid had asked to `just be held'. JUST be held. Nothing more. To a guy in the throes of low self-esteem that seemed like a polite way of saying "no, I don't want to sleep with you".
So Scott had waited while the effects of the pill flowed out of Jamie's body. Every so often he would urge him to drink a small amount before gingerly lowering him back to the bed. Every so often he would change the music, making sure to avoid anything too strenuous. Every so often he would fluff pillows, straighten sheets and refill the glasses. And every so often he would let a little bit of hope creep into his heart. But just a little bit. And not for long.
When Jamie returned to a place that was almost reality, he slowly opened his eyes and saw a guy next to him, reclining on an unfamiliar sofa-bed in an even more unfamiliar room. He wasn't quite sure but he thought he'd been here for a while. The other person however? Now he WAS familiar.
Jamie had just spent the strangest night of his life with all manner of weird stuff happening in front of his eyes. Behind his eyes too. But this guy had been there throughout, a vision of sorts, dressed in golden armour and tending to his every need. Wasn't there a bit where this handsome knight had fooled around with his dick, sending spasms of passion throughout his body? Jamie hadn't had a sexual dream about armour-clad knights before and now it looked like his had come to life. Or was he still dreaming? It was all very confusing. He raised himself on his elbow and croaked out:
"Er..."
This was enough to jolt Scott from his thoughts and send him springing into the air, heart beating fast against the bars of its cell of bone.
"For fuc...er...Pete's sake, don't do that! I nearly had a coronary!"
Scott's immediate shock quickly gave way to concern.
"You OK Jamie, what's wrong? You need anything?"
"Are...are you real? Am I dreaming?"
"Yes and no, in that order. Do you remember anything about what happened tonight?"
"A bit. Something about being spiked. SHIT! I was spiked! Oh no, mum'll kill me! OK, don't tell her. Good plan..."
The corner of Scott's mouth lifted slightly as he watched his companion wrestle with himself over the events of the night.
"...and then there was a party. I don't remember much about that. Then this knight comes along, all clad in armour and he looked like you and he took me away and I remember thinking that this was strange cos I don't even like all that stupid knights-and-castles-and-heroes stuff but he took me and cared for me and his name was Scott ... that must be your name? Is it? Stupid question, I know it is. I know that. But he...you...in the bathroom....."
Scott looked down at his feet as a rush of shame filled his cheeks.
"Jamie, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. It wasn't right."
Now it was Jamie's turn to perform mental backflips. He'd done it again. He'd gone after a straight boy. A boy who probably hated him for making him hold his dick. Who would probably take it out on him. Jamie suddenly felt trapped but couldn't muster the courage to run. Anyway, where would he run to? He might not even make it to the door before the other guy caught him.
"Look Jamie, don't take offence or anything but I gotta know something. Are you...are you...gay?"
This was it. Crunch time. The guy knew, and Jamie only had seconds before a fist would surely be slamming into his face. He had to run now. But his legs wouldn't move. His whole body was paralyzed with fear and there was nothing he could do. So his emotions forced themselves out in the only way they could and Scott watched in shock as Jamie burst into tears, powerful sobs heaving his chest up and down.
Scott panicked. The kid wasn't gay. He probably hated Scott and wanted out of here. After all, Scott had grabbed his dick, admittedly out of biological necessity, but had kept his hand wrapped around it and had even kissed him. On the lips!
Fuck it, he decided, there wasn't much he could do that would make the situation worse and he couldn't just sit there while the kid was crying. So he reached out and gently held Jamie while the tears died away.
A flood of emotions - pain, frustration, fear, sadness - had gushed out of Jamie and when the waters had subsided, he realised that this guy, this potentially psychopathic guy, was holding him. Comforting him. Now Jamie was really confused. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and looked deep into Scott's eyes. He felt like he was standing at the edge of a chasm with this sweet angel's comforting arms on the other side, if only Jamie had the courage to admit what he felt, and what he was.
OK, jump.
"Yes, yes I am," he said quietly, scanning for a reaction.
"OK. Good. Right," replied Scott as his emotional responses scrambled to process this positive bit of information. His guilt started backing away to the furthest corners of his mind.
But Jamie had just opened the floodgates, literally and figuratively, and suddenly he couldn't stop talking.
"Yes, I am gay. I've always known that I was, at least I don't remember being any different. See it's not a disease, you can't catch it and you can't cure it. At least that's what I believe ... my parents probably have a different idea ... anyway, just because we did, well, what we did, doesn't mean that you'll turn gay too. So I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. Well I suppose I wanted to. But I'm not gonna make you gay, OK? I'm sorry. Really I am!"
There was a moment of stunned silence then Scott started to laugh, stopping only when he saw a look of distress on Jamie's face.
"No, I'M sorry. I shouldn't have laughed. It's just that you'd have an easy job trying to make me gay since I am already!"
Jamie's features stopped moving as his brain tried to catch up.
"You are? Really? You're not kidding?"
"Yes. No. I don't know, now you've got me confused. Yes. I am gay."
"Bloody hell," said Jamie, relief pushing his words out.
"What?"
"Well, it's just that you're...cute...and lovely and stuff... and...well, gay too," he blushed.
Scott laughed again. This kid was definitely growing on him!
"We do come in all sorts of different varieties, you know! There's lots of different outfits you can buy, and you can even change our hair! Personally I'm from the `your-parents-will-love-me' range!!"
Somehow Scott's nervous sarcasm was just the thing to put Jamie at ease. He couldn't explain it but he felt like they'd known each other for ages and so this kind of impersonal humour was, well, personal. But in a good way, like you could throw joking insults at your best friend and they'd know that you were just showing how much you cared. Then again, sometimes best friends took you by surprise and did something unexpected. Something that hurt.
Scott noticed water welling up in Jamie's eyes again and tried to lighten up the situation.
"I'm surprised that you couldn't tell that we play for the same team. What's the matter, gaydar not developed yet?"
Jamie's look of total bewilderment suggested than an explanation was necessary.
"You know, like a `spider-sense'? OK, that was a bit geeky. It's like a sort-of extra sense that gay people seem to have, at least most gay people seem to have. It makes it easier to tell if someone's gay too, to improve your chances of copping off without getting a smack in the mouth or something. Maybe it's a bizarre genetic thing, survival of the fittest. Or the horniest."
Jamie's lip trembled once more and Scott felt his heart-strings twang as his tongue tripped him up.
"What's the matter? What did I do?"
"No, no, it's not you. It's just what you said. About being able to tell. I.....never mind, long story."
Scott reached out and tenderly stroked Jamie's warm, damp cheek.
"That's OK, I got time."
*****************
It looked like this was going to be a deep-and-meaningful sort of conversation so Scott made sure that they were comfortable. He sat cross-legged on the bed and offered Jamie some water, which was turned down, and moral support, which wasn't.
"As you can tell, I haven't had a great day. That's why I was in such a state when I got...invited to that party. But then you probably don't know that."
Scott admitted that he did know, thanks to Danny's indiscreet mouth. Jamie winced as he remembered the guy and how he'd seemed so nice at the time but soon proved that he wasn't. Pushing that aside, he went on.
"Anyway, I went out with my best friend, Sam, to the pier. We were gonna spend the day hanging out at the arcades, just chilling and stuff, then I was staying over his house tonight. At least that was the plan."
He paused for a moment, still wary about whether he could trust his new friend. But somehow it felt like the right thing to do. He instinctively knew that Scott wouldn't judge him or laugh at him or be nasty to him in any way. It was as if a barrier had been broken between them and he knew that he couldn't be sure for certain but what the hell, he might as well let it all out.
"So we ended up on the seafront and Sam said that he wanted to check out the nudist beach, you know the bit by the marina? Cos he said that he'd never seen it, despite living in Brighton all his life. That surprised me a bit, cos he can be a bit of a perv sometimes, making rude comments and stuff. I know he's got some dodgy internet sites stored as favourites, on his bedroom computer that his parents never go on."
Jamie blushed as he recalled some of the pictures that Sam had shown him. Not really his thing at all. Despite the teenage hormones bursting from his body, Jamie believed in sex being an integral part of romance, of something more than a few minutes of squelching and heavy breathing accompanied by temporary relief then a second-or-two of wiping up.
"Sam always decided what we would do. Not that I minded, it didn't really bother me. Anything to stem the boredom. So I agreed and we went and sat on the beach, next to the bank that separates the nudist part, but close enough to the water so that we could look over and see what was going on."
Scott smiled at this because he'd done exactly the same thing shortly after he'd first come to Brighton. Later on, he'd even been over to the naked side! But enough of those thoughts, his new friend was pouring out his heart:
"After a while, OK, after a SHORT while, Sam starts getting hard. I mean I could see it straining against his shorts. I was sitting just further down the beach than he was and when I looked over, I could see right up the leg. That got me hard too, no surprise! I don't know what came over me but I reached out and slid my hand up his thigh and into his shorts."
Scott interrupted at that moment.
"Jamie, did you and he ever...do stuff before that? I mean, did you have any idea that he'd be...receptive in any way?"
"Sort of. We'd wrestled a couple of times, just messing about. Sometimes I could feel that he was hard. Usually when he was on top and had me pinned. We'd grind together a bit but that's all. I thought that was a sign that he liked that sort of thing. I know I did."
Scott looked at Jamie in mock surprise, causing him to blush.
"What can I say, I AM a teenager you know! Back to the beach, and I pushed my hand further up, until I was touching his balls. They writhed around slightly when I stroked them and Sam started moaning. I could tell that he liked it so I kept going. Soon I had hold of him. All of him if you know what I mean! He didn't seem to want to stop so I stroked him. Faster and faster. On the beach!"
Scott gingerly rearranged his package since the story was starting to have an effect. Jamie giggled because he was in a similar state.
"As he came, Sam sat up and pulled down his shorts, erupting all over my face. I quickly shut my eyes cos I heard that it could sting and just sat there as hot globs of it splashed all over me. A few seconds later I wiped most of it off my face and opened my eyes. Sam had got up and was standing over me, smirking at the mess he had made. And that's when he said..."
At this, Jamie started crying once more and Scott held him as he gasped out the end of his tale:
"He said...he said `Jamie, I hope you enjoyed that cos that'll be the last time I ever want to see you again. I've enjoyed all that fooling around we did but that was too much. You're obviously a poof and I don't want any of that shit. D'ya hear? I'm not gay!!'. And that was it. He stormed off and I just sat there, looking like a complete pillock with my heart torn out and bleeding on the floor and my face covered in my ex-best friend's spunk."
Whatever feelings he'd been having throughout the story, Scott now realised that he cared deeply for Jamie, that he would do anything to protect him from being hurt like that again.
"I'm not sure what happened next but I know people were laughing at me, so I ran off. I must have washed my hair in the sea at some point cos it smells all salty. But the rest is a daze. Until now. Now I'm here, with you."
Both boys breathed deeply and Scott mulled over what he'd just heard. He really didn't want to get hurt again, but Jamie was in the same boat. Maybe they could help to heal each other's broken hearts? He imagined a `Clash of the Titans' scenario where big Greek gods with beards and togas moved little clay Scott and Jamie figures together, acting out some elaborate game plan. He just hoped that it wasn't just for petty amusement.
Of course he'd been through similar situations himself, awkward fumblings, harsh realities, that sort of thing. But all this had happened to him years before, when the ravages of youthful exuberance and naievity hadn't yet ground him down. Either Jamie was a late starter when it came to that sort of experimentation or he was a lot younger than he looked. Scott had to be sure.
"Jamie, look, I really don't mean to offend you, or make you uncomfortable or anything. But, how old are you?"
"Sixteen. And two months. Why do you ask?"
"No reason, I just had to be sure."
"Of what? Of my ability to feel these kind of emotions? To suffer this kind of heartache? Everyone thinks I must be immature cos I look younger than I am, but I'm not you know! I can feel pain!"
Scott leant forward and threw his arms around his rigid friend. Jamie initially resisted, his hackles still risen from thinking that he had been insulted. But the feelings that he was getting from Scott were warm, and nice, and genuine. He relaxed and even allowed himself to attempt humour:
"What's the matter, Scott? Didn't want to think that you'd held a little kid's dick did you? Bit worried about the legality of it all?"
Scott blushed as Jamie had hit rather too close to home and his knee-jerk responses caused him to joke back.
"Nah, you know what they say: `I would do anything for love, but I won't do that!'"
The two boys laughed together and the heavy emotional charge in the room seemed to melt away, washing over them and covering their giggling forms in a light dusting of affection and mutual joy. They lay back on the bed in a tangle of arms and legs and gazed longingly into each other's eyes.
*****************
After what was only a few seconds but seemed like eternity, Jamie reached forward and cupped his hand behind Scott's head, running fingers through his rippling hair. Slowly he pulled forward, bringing their lips together and joining them as one. This was a first for both of them, well, second if you counted earlier.
A kiss that was given completely, and with love and respect. A kiss that meant more than just passion and sparks of lust . That bound their racing hearts together and sent them reeling into blissful contentment. Scott tensed and drew back, concern flickering over his features as he spoke:
"Jamie, just one more question, I promise. I have to let you know how I feel right now and that I want to make you happy, to have you in my arms and to heal any hurt inside you. I want to be close to you, with you, a part of you. And I want you to want that too. While I'm being completely honest, I'm scared. Shit scared. I don't want to open up to you and for it all to go wrong. I...I can't do that again. So I need to know, do you want this too?"
Scott waited anxiously as the seconds ticked by and Jamie slowly answered:
"...I don't know what to say, other than it seems like I've been waiting my whole life for someone to say that to me. And it scares me too. But I know that I like you, and trust you, and want to be with you. It seems crazy that we've only just met but I feel that we belong together. I'm not sure what would have happened if I hadn't met you. So yes, it's what I want, but only if you do."
The only way that Scott could think of to best express his affirmation was to lean in and kiss Jamie's soft lips, and this he did with a great surge of passion and happiness. The two boys tasted each other a bit at a time, caressing each other's mouths and sending their warm tongues wriggling inside. Fireworks went off in their heads as two lifetimes of repressed desire suddenly gushed forth and sent hot waves to every part of their bodies.
Scott slid his fingers down Jamie's body, caressing every part and electrifying him with his touch. Jamie broke his gaze and looked over Scott's firm, full chest and down his chiselled stomach. His fingers followed, teasing Scott's flesh and pushing them both to a higher level of excitement.
With one hand on his partner's thigh and the other reaching under to grasp his buttock, Scott flipped Jamie over and on top, bringing him to a sudden rest between Scott's legs. Jamie gasped and giggled, feeling the both of them rubbing together and playing swordfights with their hard bulges.
He pulled back slightly and tackled the button on Scott's jeans, fumbling it free and allowing a glimpse of the top of his hair, poking out in defiance at the open air. He wasn't wearing underwear! Jamie could hardly contain himself as he unzipped Scott, splitting his jeans wide open and sending his thick piece of meat springing out of captivity.
Jamie's breath caught in his throat as he stared at Scott's package. He guessed it must be about 8 inches, a couple more than his own. But around the same thickness. More hair though, especially on his balls. How he wanted to nuzzle deep in the thick forest that grew between Scott's legs. Just the thought of it was bringing him closer to orgasm and he really didn't want to blow it now. Literally.
He waited, daring himself to touch yet afraid that it would only send him over the edge. Sensing the boy's reluctance, Scott took the initiative and freed Jamie from the fabric of his trousers, reaching in and stroking his swollen dick.
That was all it took. Jamie shuddered as powerful cannons of heat charged through his groin and sent wave after wave of thick, fluid lust spattering against Scott's stomach. Every muscle strained with an explosion of joy before relinquishing their hold as Jamie collapsed, breathing heavily, onto his partner's stunned body.
"Geez, Jamie, I guessed you liked me, huh?"
The look of embarrasment on Jamie's face caused Scott to hug him tight.
"It's fine, honest it is. In fact, I'm quite flattered!"
"But, but I fucked it all up. This was supposed to be all romantic and lovely and touching. I wanted it to be memorable, but for the right reasons!"
"Sssh, it's OK. I understand."
Scott held his lover close as the boy eyes started to droop. But Jamie had something on his mind.
"Scott, you know what you said earlier? >From that song. The bit about doing anything for love?"
"Yeah," said Scott, worried about where this was leading.
"Did you mean it?"
"Mean what?"
"Love. Did you mean it about love?"
Now that was a good question. A million-pound question in fact. Scott fought a battle of conscience as his fear of being hurt wrestled with his desire to be honest and open and loving. Stuck for words, his tongue started moving, unaware that his brain wasn't in gear.
"Well you said it first!" he said, regretting it as soon as he had spoken.
"No I didn't! When?"
"Er...well...earlier. But it doesn't matter, it was probably only the pill. It makes you feel that way for a while, so if you had said anything like that, which you did, it might only be the effects of the drugs."
"So you're saying that if I had said...what I apparently said...that it would only be because of the pill and not because I really wanted to say it?"
"No, no, that's not what I was trying to get at!"
Jamie was teasing Scott now, an act born of deep-rooted affection. His eyes closed and his breathing deepened, leaving Scott hanging on for confirmation.
"So do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Do you love me?" pleaded Scott, but Jamie was having fun as the weight of the day pushed him deeper towards oblivion.
"These pills, do their effects wear off in the morning?" he asked.
"Er, yeah, They do. Well?"
"Well then ask me in the morning," Jamie replied, a flicker of a smile illuminating his face as he drifted off to sleep
******* That just about wraps it up for now. The boys are getting closer but what will they feel like in the cold reality morning. I hope you want to find out! Many thanks to those who have written in with support, it's really inspiring. :-) *******