Heartbeat

By Don Cornelius

Published on Jul 7, 2024

Gay

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities between the story and reality are purely coincidental. All rights reserved by the author. Please contact the author at doncornelius69 AT yahoo DOT com.

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I'm really sorry about the delay in getting this chapter out. I know the wait has been pretty hard from the emails I've received. Please remember, it's just me writing this. I don't have a team or an editor, and I'm doing it in the little free time I have. I hope you all enjoy it as much as you have the previous chapters and, as always, let me know what you think... hearing for you all is the only feedback I get and it's nice to know people are actually reading this story.

Chapter 15

TATE

"Tate Edelman Douglas," the announcer called and I walked across the podium to pick up my high school diploma. I took it from the principal, the camera flashed, and I was on my way back to my seat.

And with that, high school ended for me. I sat and waited as more friends were called and they too got to cross, take the plastic case with the actual certificate inside, wait a second for the picture, then return to their seat. I'll admit, it was fun but this wasn't at all what I was looking forward to. I also wasn't really looking forward to the joint graduation party for me and Zach that his parents had planned at Tamarine in conjunction with my mother. It was very nice of them and I appreciated it, but I was really looking forward to the end of the night when Zach and I would go home to our place.

Sure, I was excited my grandfather and flown in and I was looking forward to meeting Zach's grandparents whom I'd missed at Christmas. But I was still feeling a little down. My father had called earlier in the week to offer that he should be at my graduation. He called my mother, not me.

She asked me about it that night.

"He wants to come to my graduation?" I asked, just to make sure I was clear.

My mother nodded her head, "That's what he said."

I looked away for a second, "So, let me make sure I understand. The kid he gave up any relationship with, whom he hasn't done anything to support or nurture, is graduating from high school halfway across the country and he'd like to come and play dad?"

"Tate, I know how it sounds, but he is your father."

"No. He's literally not. He gave that up in exchange for money when you divorced."

She sighed, "Tate, this might be helpful in terms of building a relationship..."

"With a man who hates me? I don't think so, mom. He made the decision long ago not to have a relationship with his son, the last 15 months have been the icing on that particular cake. Grandfather is more of a dad to me than he is, and always has been."

My mom teared up, "So you want me to tell him no?"

"Not at all, I'll be happy to call him." I looked down at my phone and saw that it was 7:30 and knew it was only 9:30 in Texas. "I'll do it right now."

It took me a second to look up DONAVAN DOUGLAS. I hesitated over the entry and realized I'd never deleted his number or even blocked it. I looked up at mother.

"You realize, I never blocked his number. He's never called me since he moved out."

"Sweetheart, maybe this isn't such a good idea," she offered. "Maybe I should just call him tomorrow."

"No, I'll do it. I just realized he's got my number, he could have called me to ask, but he didn't. He's a coward through and through."

I quickly dialed the number and waited for him to pick up, but I was denied as it went to voicemail, his outgoing message personable and irritating as hell.

"Hey Donovan, this is Tate. Mom told me you'd like to come to my graduation and I think that's wildly inappropriate. You've made it crystal clear from your own actions that don't consider me anything more than a mistake and I made peace with that a long time ago. I wish you nothing but the best, but I'd like you to leave me alone." I delivered it all evenly, without a hint of the hurt I was very much feeling and then ended the call.

My mom looked at me, shocked, "I wish you hadn't done that."

"You're kidding, right? After what he did? Mom, he abandoned us."

"I was there. My memory is intact. But sweetheart, this is your father and deeply flawed though he is, he's the only one you'll ever have. This was him trying to reach out."

"I don't think so, Mom. I think he's seeing the positive press about the movie and he somehow thinks he's owed something, I'm almost sure of it."

She nodded, sighing, "There is certainly that possibility, but now we'll never know."

I reached out to hug her, "Mom, I need you. I need people who actually love me, not fakes and people who couldn't be bothered to help when things were bad. I don't need people who found it easy to give up on me," I finished, crying.

"I know, sweetie, but you can't internalize what I went through with your dad..."

I pulled away from her, "Is that what you think? Mom, he showed ME who he was a long time ago. This isn't about your divorce or even how he acted when I was raped. This started when I was a kid and it's not going to be overcome with a visit to congratulate me on getting through high school."

She nodded, "OK, I get it. I promise I won't bring it up again."

There were many lucky kids around me tonight, whose parents loved them and were proud to see them graduate. I realized I was pretty lucky too because while my dad may have been a terrible person, the people here for me tonight were not.

I started paying attention again as they went through the V's, waiting patiently to see Zach cross the stage. It was, maybe another two minutes before I caught sight of him and then he was striding across, carried on those powerful legs, gently shaking the principal's hand and then walking off with a giant smile.

My family was sitting with Zach's and after things broke up, I made my way to him and we walked over to where they were standing. I walked up and hugged my mom and grandfather, then started on Zach's family. My surprise for the night was a hug from Zach's dad and a hearty `congratulations'. It seriously got to me that he finally felt close enough to hug me.

We took pictures together, together with our families, then with each of our families, and then with some of our friends who wanted to capture the moment. It wasn't awful, years modeling had prepared me for `just one more shot', but I was growing ridiculously impatient. I wanted to get out of there and move on to the restaurant where there was food and, I hoped, a very large glass of water.

Zach gave me a kiss goodbye and we parted. I was riding with my mom and grandfather and we ran to the car. This was something about which we all agreed... when something was over, there's a contest to see who can get away fastest. My grandfather was a master level athlete in the game. My mom and I had learned much for him.

While our plan might have been great and we were one of the first to make it home base, traffic was snarled... by slower people. Mom and I laughed as my grandfather groaned over the sheer inconvenience.

"Too many people in California," he mumbled which made us laugh more.

The restaurant was already set up for us and four other parties. Chelsea's family was doing hers and Adele Simpson's family was in the back with wheelchairs, plural.

We sat down at a table in our section, gave the waiter a drink order, and then chatted as we waited.

My mother looked at me, "We're going to need you for breakfast tomorrow at 9," and I saw my grandfather nod.

"OK, is there something in particular you want to address with me or is this just a congratulatory breakfast?" I asked.

My grandfather smiled, "Much more the latter, but a little of the former."

My mom leaned in, "And this time it's just you. Zach's going to have fend for himself tomorrow morning."

I laughed since we'd gone to the grocery store earlier and spent more than $300 on food. We were well stocked.

"This all sounds intriguing!"

My grandfather chuckled, "Oh, it'll be much less exciting than you might be thinking."

About that time, Zach walked in with his brother, sister-in-law, and mother and we all chatted and ate a little something before dinner. Chelseas family basically merged in with us, which Zach had predicted would happen anyway.

Thankfully, there were no speeches and only a few people wanted selfies, including some of the waitstaff and a sous chef who'd seen the movie four times and absolutely loved it. I'd been getting that a lot when we were out, but it wasn't obnoxious. At Safeway earlier in the day, there'd been a few people who came over and told us how much they enjoyed the movie and I thanked them for telling me. No pictures, no autographs, just a smile and a kind word. I realized very quickly that while I was famous, I wasn't THAT famous which definitely put a damper on my sense of fear for the future.

The party broke up about 930 and we said our goodbyes to our families, then set off to the real party. We'd all chipped in money to rent a house for the night in an off the beaten path house in the hills near Los Altos. Zach drove us but most people took Ubers, which was how Adele and Chelsea were going to get home since we were most definitely not heading back to Palo Alto tonight.

ZACH

I could tell he was grinding on something at graduation but he didn't have time to tell me what was going on until much later.

As I walked into the restaurant he lit up and it made my heart jump as I walked over to him as quickly, and safely, as I could without knocking someone down.

He rose and hugged me tightly. That's when I really felt the tension in him. He hadn't been this way when I dropped him at his mom's earlier, this was something new. I was pretty sure no one else had noticed until I hugged his mom and I could see through her smile and guessed what had happened.

They'd been talking about his father.

I let it go because people were coming in but I knew I was going to hear about things later. He'd need to talk about it.

The party was fun and the food was great but I couldn't help but feel bad for Tate since only his mother and grandfather had been able to come. He'd confided in me that he was jealous of me just a bit that I had siblings, that growing up had at times been kind of lonely. Seeing him now, talking and laughing, I realized that while he might have lacked brothers and sisters, he'd never lack friends. I also suspected he understood that better than I ever would and was more thankful for it than I could ever be.

Once the cake was done and the pictures taken, we were released to go to our party. We packed into my truck and tore off to Los Altos.

When we got there, I told the girls to go on ahead, that there was something I needed to talk to Tate about. One they were gone I didn't even get a word out before I heard him sigh deeply.

"It was my dad. He sent a card and I saw it on the countertop in the kitchen before my mom could hide it."

I watched him closely, he looked sad.

"Are you OK" and he looked at me with the saddest eyes and I saw him start to tear up.

"No. I'm really not."

I jumped out of the truck and ran to the other side, opened his door, and wrapped him in a hug. He wasn't sobbing, just freeing himself of the emotion with someone he knew he could trust. When he pulled away, he looked at me and I noticed his eyes. His blue eyes always amazed me, especially right now, raw and blood shot.

"He sent me a stock Happy Graduation card and a check for $10."

"You're kidding me?" I said, my voice a mixture of shock and anger.

He shook his head, "No."

"There's no way he could have sent it before your message, it wouldn't have made it in the mail that fast."

He laughed, bitterly, "He overnighted it. He spent probably $70 just to make sure it would get to me before the ceremony."

"Jesus..."

"Right?" he laughed out. "I mean, you have to appreciate just how petty he is. I wasn't mean when I left that message, there was no reason to do this. And still, he took the time and spent the money to do just that."

I hugged him again, "I wish there was something I could say or do to pull this out of you, because you did not deserve it and he's a giant pile of shit for doing it."

He pulled back and wiped his eyes with the back of his hands, "It's OK, babe. I just needed to let it out."

I gave him a quick kiss, "I love you and you're perfect."

He smiled, "Thank you, and I love you, too." There is nothing, absolutely nothing in the world, that makes me feel like his smile.

We walked into the party hand and hand and were quickly attacked by friends with hugs. It was exactly what he needed, to feel the love of people who cared about him and were happy he was here.

I went to grab drinks for us and returned to find him besieged by Chad Miller, his new bestie who was obnoxiously drunk and once more talking about how successful the movie has been and asking about how much he was going to make. This had been going on for a couple of days and Tate had given him nothing other than that that we would be comfortable'. It made me feel amazing that he'd been referring to us and our money'. It felt good because I knew what we'd talked about earlier in the month was rock solid, we were going to build our lives together. Nothing beats that feeling.

I wondered if he was going to tell Chad the truth. He'd told me earlier there was a story coming about it that would probably appear in the press over the weekend. Someone found the term sheet on a computer that had been donated by the studio and had missed having its drives reformatted. Jimmy had been working for a little over a day to kill the story but informed him as I was driving us into Palo Alto this afternoon that since the movie was doing so well there was no way to stop it.

With the gross as of midnight sitting at $68 million, the world was about to find out he was now due almost $2.4 million.

"No, really, I can't talk about it!"

"Dude," I said to Chad as I walked up, "Fucking drop it. He can't talk about it and he's tired of being hounded by you." I saw Tate glance at me and smile. There were times when being big, and having a big voice, definitely come in handy.

"OK, but as soon as you can, you have to tell me!" I started to think I was going to have to beat the shit out of Chad.

"OK, man!"

Finally, he wandered off and Tate looked over at me.

"Thank you! I really think you did the trick," he said, hugging me.

I held him tightly to me and felt him relax. We just stood there for a moment and finally I felt him pull back and I looked deeply into his eyes and felt peace. With a party going on all around us, I just felt totally good and wanted to hold on to the feeling as long as I could.

TATE

The party, after my interaction with Chad, ended up being a lot of fun and Zach, as always, was very restrained about his drinking and got us home safely. That night I was pretty good as well, knowing that I had breakfast in the morning with family and didn't want to be completely dogged out.

When we walked up to the door, I used my key and opened it, then started to walk in only to be stopped by Zach who scooped me up and smiled at me.

"It's tradition, I need to carry you over the threshold!" Which made me laugh.

He quickly walked me into the bedroom, placed me gently on the bed, then walked out of the room saying he was going to lock up. I immediately started to strip off everything I was wearing, which he was doing as well when he walked back in. We got everything off and then stood still, just looking at one another. Zach was already hard and I started to move toward him only to hear him say softly, "Stop."

"Why?"

He sighed, "Because I just want to look at you for a bit," he said as he flexed his dick up and I heard it slap his abs which made me laugh. I waited another minute then walked over to him, taking him in my hand and stroking him softly as I used my other hand to touch his chest.

"I think I have some work to do," I said, looking into his eyes as I dropped to my knees. Blowing Zach was a treat, truly. I liked giving head, it had always been a big turn on for me but with him it was next level. At least once when we were in France, I came while working on him and it was incredible. I went slow, focusing on getting him very wet, then in one smooth motion took him all the way down. I'd long since rid myself of any gag reflex and this was pure pleasure for us both. I worked him with my tongue and throat expertly, using all the tricks I had that worked really well on him. At first, he was motionless, his hand resting gently on my head, playing with my hair, slowly he started a smooth motion with his hips and that was my que to begin working his balls and contracting my throat. At this point, I knew the signs that told me he was close and tonight was no different. No matter how much he wanted to last, he wouldn't be able to and I soon felt the first pulse as he released a guttural groan that filled the space in our bedroom.

I took it all, nose buried in his neatly trimmed pubes, until he started to pull back. I increased suction just a bit as his head came into my mouth, making sure everything was clean without causing discomfort to his oversensitive head.

I looked up to see him looking down on me with his goofy post orgasm smile. He reached down to bring me back up and kissed me deeply, passionately, the way he always did when he wanted to overwhelm me. I felt myself relax completely in his embrace and felt him adjust just a bit to support me. This was what I craved, even more than one of his deep dick fucks, losing myself in him and feeling his strong body take my weight with ease.

He grabbed my hips and placed me on the bed, then continued his assault on my senses. One thing that amazed me about Zach was that he needed no time to recharge and he stayed hard the whole time. Tonight was a repeat of this morning, missionary, with his eyes fixated on me, as he watched his work play out across my face. I lost it, as I always did, and felt my whole body sing and he brought forth another body wrenching orgasm that forced me to arch my back. After that first one, it was all him working at that point and he did what had become normal, fucked me into oblivion.

Hours later Zach woke me gently with a kiss and "Good morning".

"What time is it," I asked still groggy.

"A little after 8."

I leaned over to kiss him, "Thank you for letting me sleep a little," I said, laughing.

"Eh, you can nap when you get home." Home. Our home. This was our home and the thought made me swell with happiness.

I drug myself out of bed and went to clean up, then dressed and was out the door at 8:41. I'd told my mother and grandfather I'd be there at 9 and I was going to push that. Neither of them were expecting me to be on time anyway, so it really didn't matter.

As I drove, I thought about how unbelievably lucky I was that I ended up in that apartment with Zach. So much went right, after something so horrible happened, that it made me thankful in a way I'd never really thought about. I was still thinking about it when I rolled up to my mothers and started to turn into the driveway before remembering I didn't live here anymore.

Instead, I parked on the street, then opened the front door with my key, announcing myself as I walked in. Mom responded `In here' from the kitchen so I walked in.

My grandfather looked at his watch, then up at me, "Not bad. Only 10 minutes late," he said with a smile.

"Yeah, I was a little slow this morning."

I mom gave me a hug, "You didn't stay up all night, did you?"

"No ma'am, we were home by 1:30."

"Well, sit down and I'll get you something to eat. What do you want to drink?"

"Juice, but I'll get it!"

After my juice, I sat down across from my grandfather who sipped his coffee as my mother put a plate of with a slice of the quiche she'd made in front of him, and then me.

We sat quietly until my mother joined us and began to eat, chatting occasionally. It wasn't until my grandfather was done that I found out what he wanted to talk about.

"So, I've a graduation present for you," he said as he handed me an envelope. I opened it and read the document inside which said that since I had completed high school, I would now be receiving $4000/month from a trust he'd set up.

I looked up at him from the paper, "Grandaddy, I can't believe you did this! Thank you!"

"Well, it was actually your grandmother's idea. We decided when you and Jaime were both children to set up a trust for all our grandkids. Since so many of them are little, what they would be receiving continues to accumulate so the amount should go up until the rest of the crew makes it through. For now, that's what you and Jaime are getting every month."

"I feel weird about this, and I want you to know I really appreciate it, but..."

"You don't really need it," he finished, smiling as he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "Son, I'm prouder of you than you can possibly know. This is something I'm doing FOR you, whether you need it or not. I don't care if you decide to blow it on a super expensive car, every month there's going to be a deposit and I hope you'll think of your dear old granddad and maybe call every now and then."

I got up and walked over to him to give him a hug.

"What about mom and Aunt Janie?" I asked.

He smiled, "They're very well taken care of. There is nothing you need to worry about."

Mom laughed, "Tate, you can relax. Everything is fine and this is for you!"

I sat back down heavily and let out a long sigh. My mother put her hand on my arm and leaned in.

"Honey, you can let go. There's no other shoe that's going to drop."

I smiled at her, "You know, it's weird but you're right, I'm starting to have issues anticipating something going wrong since everything else has been going so well."

My grandfather laughed, "Knock that off. Something bad will happen inevitably, but not because you've had it so good. It's just life. You've got to roll with it and make sure it doesn't drag you down. You, my boy, have been exceptionally good at that."

I nodded, "Yeah, I guess I kind of have, but that's thanks to mom."

Mom smiled and glanced at my grandfather, "I had a really good teacher."

My grandfather smiled and nodded, then looked back at me, "So what's your plan for the next few weeks?"

"Well, tonight we're going to dinner to a Korean place in San Jose, then tomorrow I'm leaving for New Orleans to start shooting a movie. I'll be there until the end of June."

"Well, that sounds like a busy summer."

I laughed, "Yeah, but this one is going to be good. I put in a lot of breaks and didn't overload things," I finished, glancing at mom.

She sat back, hands up, "You're on your own now! I'm not going to judge or hold you back."

I nodded, then looked at my grandfather, "So that's my plan, right now. Try to get it all done before school starts so I don't have to ask for help."

My mom got up, "Speaking of, there is a message for you from the Dean of Students at San Jose State. He asked you to call him at this," she handed me a post it with the information on it, "number."

"Any idea what it's about?"

She shook her head, "He just told me he likes to reach out to high profile students to make sure they know they've got help if they need it."

I sat back, "Wow."

My mom laughed, "That's what I said. He was very nice and tried talking to me, but I told him this was all you, down to the tuition payments."

"I'll call him on Monday when I have some time."

We sat around talking, and planning, until it was time for my mother to take him to the airport. I got in one last hug, and `I Love You', before they took off. I'd agreed to come to Florida for Labor Day weekend and I was pretty sure Zach would be OK with that.

I took the long way home, just enjoying the drive and the nice weather. I'd lived here almost a year and I still couldn't get over how nice the weather was. It also made me think about Louisiana and how hot and humid it would be when I got into New Orleans tomorrow.

I noticed Zach's truck was gone as I parked and found a note from him on the kitchen counter when I went inside.

"Went to the gym with Ben. Do not mess with the dish in the sink, it needs to soak and I will deal with it when I get home. Love, Zach"

I laughed as I read it remembering a conversation we had just yesterday about keeping the kitchen clean. I looked around and realized he'd been busy while I was gone, everything was put up and I was very impressed.

I started packing for Louisiana and then laid down to take a nap. I was awakened an hour later by a very pumped, sweaty, and needy Zach holding a blender filled with a shake.

"What is that," I asked, rubbing my eyes, remembering only after the effect that had on Zach.

"Vanilla strawberry banana smoothie with 60 grams of protein."

"60? Isn't that a lot?"

He nodded, taking a big gulp and leaving a pink mustache on his upper lip, "Gotta eat to lock in the gainz!" he said as he flexed his massive right arm.

I laughed, "You want to fuck me, don't you?"

He gave me that predatory smile that always got me. It and that look in his eyes had, over the last month, really started to get me horny when he did it. I didn't want to analyze it too much, but I had a sneaking suspicion it had to do with his more aggressive sexual presence.

He nodded, winking at me, then taking a final giant gulp of the shake. He wiped off his mouth on his shirt, which he then shed along with the shorts he was wearing and stood before me, naked and unmoving. I looked up, the awe in which I held him clear in my eyes, and asked, "What"

Zach always attacked, or at least told me why he wasn't. He was just standing there, looking unbelievable, rock solid and unyielding, the very definition of a man.

"Get up, baby. Come over to me."

I didn't hesitate as I rose from the bed and took the four steps to put me directly in front of him. I felt so small and delicate standing so close and I stood there for a few seconds before looking up into his eyes, and immediately took a slight step back as I realized what I was looking at wasn't Zach, not like he had been. Something had changed and it wasn't even that predator look, this was pure power. Energy and pure dominance beyond anything I'd known. A week ago I'd had a glimpse of this and now, here it was without any restraint.

And it scared me. For only the second time since we had sex, I was afraid of Zach. I wasn't afraid of him doing something violent or hateful to me, I was afraid of losing myself to him. I knew I couldn't resist him and it was beyond any feeling of trust. This was pure submission driven by nothing more than his natural dominance.

"You don't need to worry, babe. It's still me."

I never broke eye contact with him, I just couldn't. I swallowed hard and said, "Zach..."

He reached out and pulled me to him, hugging me tightly to him as I felt him get hard. He leaned down and whispered in my ear,

"Nothing has changed, I'm just testing myself. I promise, I will never abuse your trust."

I felt myself relax with every word and as he finished, he kissed my neck and I sank to my knees because right then I wanted blow him more than I have ever wanted to do anything in my life.

ZACH

Ben and I were 20 minutes into our workout when we had a conflict. We'd moved to a lifters gym in Sunnyvale to work out over the summer. This was the kind of place where dudes looking to compete went and 100 pound plates were common.

We'd been doing squats when someone came over and started hassling us. Dude was about Ben's height but big. He was very aggressive but I could hear in his voice, he was all bluster. I let him rant as I finished my set, racked the weight and immediately turned around to face him.

And I saw him blink.

People can sense when they're around someone truly dangerous and when they've gone too far. In this fucker's case, he was experiencing both feelings.

"We're here until we're done. Shut the fuck up and do something else." I told him, breathing hard, and fixing him with my eyes. I wasn't having it. I was ready to put this guy in the hospital because I don't like bullies.

He backed up two steps then shuffled off to the hack squat, looking back nervously once. When he was finally away, I glanced over at Ben and smiled, only to find Ben blanched.

"Dude, what's wrong with you?"

He swallowed hard, "With me?"

I looked at him, really looked, and realized he was legitimately scared. I wasn't just sensing it, I could see it in his eyes.

I forced myself to soften my face and saw him relax.

"I'm sorry, man..."

Ben shook his head, "No, it's OK, I've just never seen you like this. All those times we got into shit, you were never like you were just then. I've never seen you that intense." I nodded, "Well, it's me from now on so don't let it freak you out. I had kind of an epiphany coming back from LA and I'm changing. I feel a lot stronger now."

He smiled, "What did Tate do?"

I laughed, "Nothing, this all me. Well, maybe it's about protecting him, but this is just me. You know how I am anyway, but things are just more real to me now."

"Well, if I piss you off would be please not react like that? You'll have me pissing my pants!"

I clapped his shoulder, "If you piss me off you're more likely to make me sad as hell than angry, Ben. You know that."

He nodded, smiling, and said, "Ok, let's get back to it," as he stepped into the rack.

I knew how people reacted to me, but now I could feel myself subtly focused on getting people to do exactly what I wanted and it felt really good. I'd tested myself some this past week and realized when I did it people took me seriously very quickly.

I was keyed up when I got back from the gym and actually thought about leaving when I saw him asleep. He looked so peaceful and I didn't want to disturb him. I made a shake and then walked back in, intending only to sit and enjoy looking at him as he slept.

Unfortunately, the blender had made that impossible and now that he was up, something else took over entirely. I could feel the surge of power I'd felt at the gym as he walked up to me and it was amazing. Tate's reaction, the fear, made me realize that what he'd been worried about was back in his head and I needed desperately to get him back.

And sex did that in spades.

I was still hard when he was done blowing me and immediately picked him up and put him on the bad, tilting his hips back so I could feast on his beautiful rosebud. We had sex the night before, but I was beyond ready again and I needed him to feel amazing and relaxed. I wanted him to enjoy this more than he enjoyed anything else.

I took my time, circling slowly and occasionally dipping in, each time a little deeper and more forcefully. I loved eating him out and hearing his moans of pleasure almost as much I did hearing him scream in delight as my dick touched something deep in him that made his world explode.

It took less than 10 minutes to work him into a frenzy, when he started begging me to fuck him. I lubed up and entered him, working him methodically to take him over the edge with shallow strokes to get him completely relaxed for long dicking. This is what I needed and I was glad I'd decided to skip cardio.

My first orgasm didn't take long, but my second was 45 minutes later and he passed out as I was having it. It wasn't the first time I'd made him cum so hard he passed out, but it made me feel amazing knowing that I'd completely overwhelmed him. To be honest, I was out of gas as well, making this the first time we'd both worn out about the same time.

I cleaned us up and then laid down next to him, pulling him to me and kissing the back of his neck gently. The feeling of holding him is my favorite, and I don't just mean after sex. Even when we're watching TV, the feeling of him laying on me, completely at ease, makes me feel unbelievably good. It feeds not only my love for him, but the protector in me and there's always this thought, in the back of my head, that I can and will protect this man until my death. I will never again let harm come to him or allow those who have wronged him to skate free without some much-deserved punishment. My love for him has turned me into a man and the feeling is just amazing.

It's also an awesome responsibility, something he picked up on much earlier than I did. He's such a sweet and gentle person that controlling him, dominating him, would be easy for me. I wouldn't need to play on his love for me, I could take control so easily it made me shudder. That's what had terrified him when we had sex the first time and me after that fateful meeting with my therapist. I saw it even today and knew I had to be careful. Breaking him would break me, I had to be gentle with him because he was everything to me and I couldn't bear the thought of being the reason the light in his eyes went out. As strong as he was, he wouldn't fight me and I could never, ever, take advantage of that because I loved him so deeply.

I nodded off, lulled to sleep by his soft, steady breathing and the feeling of him in my arms.

TATE

I was really shaky for about an hour after I got up and was still feeling the tingles when were at dinner hours later. We'd gone to a Korean barbecue place and I was still in that blissed out state where everything is perfect.

And he knew it, as the smile on his face as he sat across from me made very clear.

"You look so beautiful," he said, softly.

I'm embarrassed to admit I blushed and I saw his smile broaden.

"Thank you and thank you for this afternoon," I said just as softly.

We finally stopped looking at each other like love struck freaks and talked about tomorrow. I was flying out of San Jose at 10 AM and he decided he had to drive me to the airport.

"Babe, you really don't. Let's say goodbye at the house and then let me take an Uber? I don't want to do it there with people all around us and cars honking."

He shook his head, "No, I just don't want to do this. Please, let me take you."

I finally relented, realizing that it really wasn't that important to me. What I didn't know was if that was me, really me, or how I was feeling about him.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, a curious look on his face.

I sighed, "Giving in and not knowing if it's really what I want or if I'm still so blissed out from earlier that I'm just riding the high."

"Really?" he asked, smiling.

"Yeah, babe. Ever since that flight back from LA you've been different. I feel a little like a moth flying too close to a flame."

"Tate, you know I would never take advantage of you..."

I nodded, "It's not you I'm worried about. It's so easy for me to give in to you. I feel this unbelievable pull toward you at times and this past week has been especially intense. It's like something turned on in you and I'm having to feel my way around in the dark."

"I'm stronger than you in some ways, I can't help it. I feel like I need to be more forceful because I have a purpose in my life, you."

"I know," I told him, "and I don't want you to change. That look in your eyes today was such a turn on that I don't know how to describe it. But it's going to take some time for me get comfortable with it. I've never been submissive but with you, especially now, it feels so natural. I know I can trust you not to abuse what I'm giving you, it's just a little weird emotionally for me."

He nodded, "You'll get past it. There is no way I will ever roll over you again like I did earlier this year." I saw his eyes start to water as he got choked up before he continued, "I don't want to run the risk of breaking you. It would kill me to hurt you."

The whole thing made me tear up which was rather awkward as they started brining food to us right at that moment. I just held eye contact and nodded with a smile. However we may be evolving in our relationship, the trust I have in him was justified. I didn't need to be scared.

After the servers cleared out, we started to eat and talked a little more.

"It's like I'm tapping into some well of power I never knew I had. I've always been this way, just on a much lower level. It really started to change when we were in Texas."

"The fight?"

He laughed, "No, that was desire. I wanted to punish him as much as I could. No, this started when we had sex that night. The way you looked at me afterward made me feel incredible. I don't think that would have ever come out had it not been for you."

I winked at him, "How about this afternoon?"

He sat back and sighed, then told me about what happened at the gym.

"Would you have really hurt him?" I asked.

He nodded, finishing what he was chewing and taking a sip of water, "Absolutely. Had he started something I would have finished it."

"I get that. But it's more than just standing up for yourself, you wanted to make him back down."

He smiled, "Yeah, that was exactly it."

"You need to be careful with the rest of us, especially Ben."

He nodded, "I'd never do that to any of you, especially Ben and Chelsea. Babe, I know I have limits and I'm learning where they are. I promise, I'm going to be good."

I smiled, "I like how you didn't include me with them."

He leaned in, "That's because I know what a turn it is for you. I will use every advantage I have to make you feel wanted, desired, and owned."

"'Owned' is an interesting word to use."

"It's deliberate. I own you every bit as much as you own me, you just do things differently. I am yours forever."

That made me tear up, "Thank you for that."

After dinner we went home to relax, deciding on a movie about an alien who replaced a woman's boyfriend which sounded strange at first but ended up being really good. I sent my agent a note about it telling him I was interested in connecting with the writer and director in case they had projects going.

We got in bed by midnight. I was all packed up, but I wanted to be rested for tomorrow and my ass needed a break. I offered to blow him again, but he casually said he was fine, that this afternoon had him still feeling good.

"You're kidding me? How long did you keep going after I passed out?"

He smiled, "No joke, I didn't. I came as you went over the edge and I was done. For the first time, we wore out together."

I smiled, "I can't tell you how happy I am to hear that!"

He laughed as he hugged me to him, "You never needed to worry. You have always been and always will be more than enough for me."

ZACH

The next morning, I woke him with my mouth since I wanted to surprise him and send him off to Louisiana with a huge smile on his face. I'd never been great at giving head, but I'd picked up some pointers from Tate himself that he really seemed to enjoy. I wasn't quite at his skill level, tonguing balls while fully inserted, but I was doing a great job and woke him up the most pleasant way I could imagine.

"Oh, I don't know what made you do that, but thank you! That was absolutely amazing!" he said, stretching out and enjoying his post orgasm bliss. The way he moved was just breathtaking, so luxurious and supple, everything about him so smoothly connected and beautiful. There was a similar scene in the movie and it made me a little jealous other people could see him like this. This was something, in my opinion, that should only be for me.

I made breakfast while he showered and got ready. It's funny how something as mundane as making breakfast for him, before he left, was so important to me. Just some scrambled eggs and turkey sausage with some fruit and I imagined I was sending him off well prepared for his trip.

I took everything out to the truck and we were on our way to the airport. I was so glad he was allowing me to do this that it made me extra cheerful. Sending him off just kind of made me feel like this was all real.

"You're quiet, babe, what's up?" he asked, touching my arm gently and making me tingle.

I glanced over at him and smiled, "I love doing this. My boyfriend is going on a work trip and I'm taking him to the airport."

He laughed, "And thank you for doing it."

When we got to the terminal, I pulled up and immediately got out to help him with his bags, then gave him a scorching good bye kiss that earned us a whistle, which made us both laugh.

"I'll see you in two weeks. I love you."

I sighed, "I love you, too. Please text me when you get there!"

Driving home I was in a really good mood. I was going to miss him, there was no way that wouldn't happen, but I knew what he was doing was important and that it made it all right in my head. We were adults and this was our life, one I was happy to have.

When I got back to the apartment, I decided to send him the message I'd been working on since yesterday. When we were in Cannes at dinner with the producers, he'd made a comment about finally realizing, when he was modelling, that he didn't have to try so hard, that he'd already landed the job. Something about that clicked in my head and I'd been thinking about it for weeks. Yesterday I started typing out my thoughts.

"Babe, when we we're at dinner in Cannes with the producers, you talked about your time modelling and how you finally figured out you could relax because you already had the job. Something about that stuck with me and I finally realized why. Neither of us are inclined to take the other for granted, but we both have had problems wanting to be more than we were for the other. It took me longer than you to realize that I was enough, that I would always be enough for you, and that forever meant the same thing to you that it does to me. I love you with all my heart and want you to know, unequivocally, I am yours completely."

I hit send with the subject line DO NOT OPEN UNTIL YOU'RE AT THE HOTEL, then spent the next few hours doing some of the reading I needed to do for the classes I was taking this summer. About 4pm I got a text from David.

"How would you feel about a visitor on the 16th for the weekend?"

I laughed, thinking I'd love one, especially David whom I'd grown quite fond of over the last few months. The funny thing is that our relationship didn't bother Tate, it actually made him feel good that the people so close to him got along and were friendly.

"Well, it would be great except I'm going to be in Louisiana with the star."

"I thought that was next weekend?"

"We had to push it because they're going to work through next. Feel like coming to see the place next weekend?"

"Absolutely! "

Not long after the texts with David, I got ready and went to dinner at my parents. My mother was insisting that we come every Sunday night for dinner when we were I town. It was a good night and I got home about 11 after playing games with Tommy, trying once more to prove I wasn't completely worthless.

We talked a bit while we played, with him asking me questions about my relationship with Tate. He'd started doing that a few weeks ago and tonight I asked him if there was someone special.

"No, bro, it's just that I want to be ready when it happens to me, you know?"

I laughed, "That would be nice, I certainly wasn't."

"What do you mean?"

I took a deep breath and told him an abbreviated version of our first date with lots of detail about how I almost fucked it up. He laughed.

"You're such a goon! You're so lucky he didn't ghost you!"

I laughed, "You're right. And that's when you'll know you're ready, not when you do everything well, but when it means enough to you to fight for what you know you need."

"You'd really do anything for him, wouldn't you?"

"Yeah, I would," I told him, my eyes watering just a bit. "I think if you talk to Darren, he'll tell you the same thing about Shelly."

He nodded, "Nah, I'm good talking to you about it. I love Darren, but you get me better."

"Dude, Darren really loves you. I mean it, give him a call and talk to him. I know he's old, but he still remembers what it's like."

This has been a problem for the twins with Darren, less so with Kim. Darren hadn't lived at home in more than 7 years. When he was here, he was a part of their lives but they were just kids. Now, as they were heading into high school, he was almost a memory, like a really young uncle.

"Yeah..."

"Seriously, Tommy, call him. I know the age difference feels big, but he'd be really excited to hear from you."

The rest of the week was slow, made better by my nightly conversations with Tate. It made missing him a lot more bearable since I could see his face and hear his voice, not to mention the stories. They'd shaved his head for the role and he still looked sexy as hell. He was so cute about it, but also really excited as they started filming on Wednesday and he thought it was going really well.

"What makes you say that," I asked when we talked Thursday night.

"I had a fuckup earlier today, and the director stopped us, walked me through what she wanted, and we did it again. Anna said she was impressed since normally newer actors need four or five takes, but once I've been told, I'm on point."

"YOU'RE a pro, babe. You may be new to all this, but you know how to deal with instruction and criticism."

He laughed, "I honestly feel like I'm on solid ground here. What I picked up and built on when I found Sam was just what she was looking for!"

"That's awesome!"

"I know this is going to sound bad, but I am really having fun. I know we're here to work, but it's a blast doing this with these people. Everyone is so professional and they're helpful without making me feel quite so much of a noob."

"That's really good to hear. I'm really happy for you, babe. I know how important it is to you to nail this and it's exciting."

"So, what's the news there," he asked, changing the subject.

"I had lunch with your mom today and we had a great time. I also cleaned up a bit since David's coming tomorrow."

"Did she talk to you about the guy she's seeing? She won't tell me anything!"

"She didn't say anything to me, either. I made a comment about dating again and she looked at me like I'd grown a head and said, "Did you talk to Tate?"", I replied, laughing.

"She told me when she was ready, she'd of course introduce whoever she might be dating to us. Apparently, that stage has not yet been reached."

I laughed, "Yeah, I don't think you're going to have many discussions with her about dating."

"When's David getting there tomorrow?"

"About 8. We'll call you. What time will you be done?"

"Fun! Something to look forward too! Anna and I are buying dinner for everyone on the set tomorrow night but we should be done by 9 your time. I'll text you when I'm back in my room at the Motel Louisiana!"

"Oh, before you go, I talked to Jake this afternoon and he told me to tell you hi."

Tate smiled, he really liked Jake and liked even more that we'd become friends.

"I'll send him a text. It's weird but I remember seeing him in a movie last summer and now I'm friends with him."

I laughed, "It's the world we live in now, baby. And I'm happy I'm in it with you!"

"I love you!"

After the call, I did what I'd done all week, took a long shower and relieved some stress. Not having Tate around made me realize how much I needed sex. My hand wasn't much of a replacement for him, but I did have a very detailed fantasy file to work from, far more so than the one that included just the picture of him in my room at my parents house.

TATE

Making this movie was so much easier than Love Story. We'd been on such a tight budget, we had to do a lot of things ourselves. With Summer Moon, we had catering rather than someone making a trip to Taco Bell and it was good. I was having to do a serious thing with portion control since the food was absolutely amazing.

Ironic for a movie about people in desperate poverty.

We spent the first few days walking through the script and in meetings with the writer and the director. The guy who wrote the book, Ferris Allen, had initially agreed to sharing credit for the screenplay, but after he saw the first draft, he told the director there was nothing he had to add, that it was a great adaptation. He was scheduled to be here next week and I was really excited to meet him.

I had some serious work to do on the accent they wanted for the movie and found myself unable to hold it longer than 30 minutes at a time before I needed to stop and prep again, to get my mind back into it. It was an Acadiana accent that my Texas accent could come through and screw up.

The days were pretty exhausting, then we took a van back to the motel where they put us up and Anna and I usually had dinner, sometimes with other members of the cast if they felt like it. There was a diner close to the motel that we really enjoyed, but some nights we scrounged food from catering and then brought it back to eat in one of our rooms. Getting to know her was one of the things I was really enjoying.

Every night, Zach and I talked over FaceTime and caught up on our days. It was so wonderful to see his face. We'd tried sex while doing it, but we both ended up laughing too hard as we described the things we were doing to one another in our minds. This was something we'd really need to work on.

Every day I got up feeling really excited. We'd go over the scenes for the day and the blocking, then do the first shot. Anna was playing my love interest when my character was younger. The name for the movie came from the scene when he had to tell her he was dropping out of high school to work and she was shattered. He told her this was just for now, that he had to be there for his family, but that one day they'd be together looking up at the summer moon.

She would be the one who, later in the movie, would return for a visit and catch on to Sam's illness. The scene when we got the diagnosis was gut wrenching as both our characters realized that the plans they'd made, of marrying when the family was more stable, were just not going to happen. We weren't filming it for another week, but neither of us were looking forward to it.

Sam's desire to help his family by taking a job in a pollution laden chemical plant would ultimately take his life. At 33, the job he'd started at 16 would kill him. The really sad part, as we'd learned from some of the locals working on the movie, was that this wasn't uncommon around Southern Louisiana.

Friday night we got back to the hotel and I talked to Zach and David who were heading to a party with Ben. Ben and David were a little starstruck by Anna, which I totally got given my reaction to Zach casually mentioning that he'd met her at a party in Cannes. After we got off FaceTime, Anna made us drinks and we say on the patio in front of our rooms, watching the highway, covered in bug killer to keep the mosquitos at bay.

"You know, in your next movie you have to play a character that makes it all the way to the end," she said, laughing, which cracked me up as well.

"I didn't even think about it when I took the part, I just assumed from what Gloria told me that he'd be sick and dying in old age!"

She giggled, "This will teach you to never accept without reading the script first!"

I shook my head as I looked out at the road, "Nah, I'm happy I did what I did. I don't regret this in any way. This is a beautiful story and I'm thankful I get to be a part of telling it."

Anna was silent, and I looked over to see her looking at me.

"What?" I asked, smiling.

"You are an amazing guy and I'm so happy I'm doing this with you."

I got a lump in my throat and pushed out, "Thank you."

She shook her head, "I've worked with people whose egos far exceeded their talent and we actually made some good movies. Doing this with you is like being on my first again and it's a thrill to work with someone else who is truly enthusiastic about the story."

I tapped her glass with that comment and replied, "Back at you, from the bottom of my heart. I'm so glad we got to do this."

We sat up together for another 30 minutes, then went in to go to bed. We weren't starting until 9 in the morning, but we both needed to clean up and get some sleep.

The next morning while they were reloading camaras about 11, I got a text from Zach of a picture. I'd set up a double bed in the room I was using as my office and in it, right at that moment, were the clearly entwined Ben and David. I know my eyes bugged out of my head a bit because Anna came over and asked me what was wrong.

I quickly looked up from the phone and smiled, "It's really nothing wrong, it's just surprising. Apparently, Zach's best friend and my ex hooked up last night."

Her eyes went wide, "An ex? From modelling?"

"No, my first real boyfriend. He was a senior when I was a freshman in high school."

"Are you actually telling me you're still friends with a guy you dated when you were 15?" she asked, laughing.

I nodded, "Yeah, he's more like an older brother than anything."

I looked back down at phone, once more taking in the image of David spooning Ben, and I heard her ask, "Is this going to be a problem?"

I smiled as I looked up at her, "Not for me, I just hope this really works out for them. Whatever IT is."


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