This story is all fiction and is not implying anything on the Backstreet Boys, 'N sync, or anyone else mentioned in this text. If you don't approve of gay relationships and/or are under 18 years old, please stop and leave now. If you are over 18 (or younger with the exception of not getting caught) and approve of homosexual types of sex and relationships then please keep on reading.
Okay here are my thank you's! I want to thank Kenitra for being a good friend, writer, and editor! I do want to recommend you read Millennium Love. I also want to thank CJ, the author of "My Night With Howie D". You are truly becoming a good friend. I also want to thank everyone who has sent me comments on the last couple of chapters. Thank you! But the biggest thanks would be able to be nominated for an award. I don't want to win one, just be on the nominees list. Because that would mean that someone actually does like my story.
Okay I'm done talking! Here you go with the next chapter of
Hearts Combining (Chapter 6)
"He who refuses praise the first time that it is offered does so because he would hear it a second time." ---Duc de la Rochefoucald
Brian navigated me through the area, and then after making a couple of turns we pulled into a drive to this huge house. This house was beyond huge. This was like looking at one of the apartment buildings that house about eight or nine apartments. I remember Brian telling me that they kept all of their cars in the garage that way the fans that found out where they lived could not do anything to them, but there was one car sitting in the driveway. I looked over at Brian about ready to ask whose car it was when I saw the look of terror on Brian's face. I saw Lynn's van coming down the road. Just as they were about to turn into the driveway, a woman came running out of the house screaming. Brian's face turned ghostly white. It was just then that she got close enough to understand what she was screaming....
"Brian, Baby, I missed you! Why don't you ever call your girlfriend?" the woman asked.
"Oh god, Leighanne!" Brian said under his breath.
Before I knew what was happening, Brian had jumped out of the car and was quickly walking toward this woman. The expression on Brian's face was that of shock and anger that then turned quickly into fear. 'Who is this woman?' I wondered.
Just as I was about to get out of the car, Lynn pulled up with the guys. No sooner had Lynn pulled into the drive way, Kevin and Howie jumped out to find out what was going on. Once they saw Leighanne, their expressions quickly turned to anger.
"What are you doing here?" Brian asked bitterly.
"I came by to see if you guys were off of the tour yet, and I noticed these women moving furniture into the house. I got worried and stopped to find out what was going on." Leighanne said. "Then one woman told me it was none of my business, then told me to leave. I drove down the street until I saw them leave. I quickly drove back and went into the house to see if anything had been stolen."
"And how exactly did you get into my house?" Brian asked even more bitter than last time. The hatred was clearly showing.
"I...I...I....I used my key." Leighanne mumbled under her breath.
"How did you get a key?" Brian asked glaring at her so hard that he could have burned a hole in her forehead.
"I .....I...."
Brian quickly interrupted.
"I don't care how you got it....I want it right now!" Brian demanded with his face turning bright red. Leighanne handed the key to him. "Now leave before I called the cops for breaking and entering!"
"But Brian baby, I love you. I want to be with you!" Leighanne whined.
"Okay bitch! If I didn't make myself clear last time, I will this time! Leave Now.....oh....Before I forget....There has not been Brian Baby for a long time now....so don't think that I'm going to come back to you.....I have moved on!" Brian yelled with tears streaking his face from the pure hatred he felt.
"Who? Is it that blonde Bimbo? What's her name......Britney is it?" Leighanne asked ignoring everything that Brian had threatened.
"NO IT IS NOT BRITNEY! NOW FUCKIN LEAVE!" Brian screamed at her.
Leighanne finally got the hint, turned and walked over to her car. She turned and looked back at Brian, then got into her car and left.
Brian quickly ran over to me and hugged me.
"Baby, I'm sorry.... I totally forgot about her!" Brian cried into my shoulder.
"Who is she?" I asked concerned.
"That was Leighanne Wallace, Brian's EX-girlfriend." Kevin stressed the 'EX' in the statement.
"Should I be worried?" I asked to anyone who could give me an answer.
"I'm not sure.....It all depends on if she moves on from Brian." Kevin said as he brought himself into the hug that Brian had on me. "I can just about guarantee that we will see a lot of her, now that the tour is over."
"Chris, she of all people cannot find out about us! If she ever did, she would use it to get everything that she wanted from us.... That would include her wanting me!" Brian whispered as tears flowed. "I would have to be with her, just to protect myself, the guys, and you and Jase. If I didn't then she would hurt all of us."
"How?" I asked looking up at the sky, trying not to be overcome with emotion.
"She would make everything public! That would probably mean the end of the group, our careers, and maybe, any possibilities of a future for you." Kevin replied. "As much as I don't want to say it....she would probably hurt you more because you are with Brian, and she would be jealous. She would then do anything and everything to keep you from having him."
"Well I think that she has another thing coming if she thinks that she is going to keep me from Brian or you. However, if she does try to ruin my future, then she has to realize that hers is going to go down right with me!" I said pulling Brian away from me, and staring him in the eye. "I won't lose you or anyone else without a fight, Hell, look at my life so far, I have had people like her throughout my life. She is just another peon in my life.... And I will just have to find a way to remove her... maybe not physically, but I will show her that I'm not one to be messed with!"
"Baby.... I won't let her do anything to you! I promise!" Brian whispered to me.
"Just promise me that you won't do anything that you don't want to just to make sure that Jase and I are safe. I can handle the two of us..... you just worry about your image." I said bringing him back in a tight hug.
"Promise!" Brian whispered into my ear.
"Sorry to ruin the moment.... But we need to move everything into the house before people start noticing." AJ said bringing everyone back to reality.
I looked up and saw everyone watching Brian and I. AJ, Howie, and Nick had all of the luggage out of the van and sitting up by the door. Kevin had Jase in his arms asleep. 'I wish that they would be willing to be his fathers also.' I thought. I finally released Brian and we walked into the house.
As soon as I walked in my mouth hit the floor. This house was too clean, too decorated, too.....perfect for three to five guys to actually live in. I don't know why but I could have never expected them to have such a nice house. Don't get me wrong..... I was just expecting it to be more of a.... I don't know how to explain it. Brian, Kevin, and Lynn noticed the look on my face...
"Lynn cleaned it for us..... she also has something upstairs for you and Jase." Kevin said.
Brian grabbed my hand and we ran upstairs. We walked down a long hall way, then stopped at a closed door. Brian looked me in the eye and then kissed me.
"Open the door...." Brian whispered when we pulled away.
I looked at him questionably.... 'What had he had planned?' I thought. I slowly opened the door. What I saw totally shocked me. I slowly stumbled into the room. My face must have shown my shock and confusion, because Kevin walked up to me.
"This is your..... room." Kevin whispered into my ear.
Tears streaked my face. I looked around the room in wonderment. On the back wall were large glass French doors, that lead out onto a balcony. In the middle of the room was one of the largest beds that I have ever seen. The room was done in little blues, black, and dark green. If the colors were just lying there on the floor then they would have been ugly together, but this room looked to be professionally decorated. To the left of the hallway door was the closet, then a bathroom. This place was heaven, and my angels were with me. On the right side of the room was a door that for the life of me I could not figure out where it lead. Brian noticed it this time....
"Go ahead and open the door." Brian encouraged.
I walked over to it and opened the door. On the other side of the door was AJ and Howie playing with Jase.....my god this was Jase's room. This room was also nicely decorated. The only other exception was that there were toys galore in there. My thoughts quickly shifted to everything Kevin was asking my mother this morning....
"Brian, Kevin.....why?" I asked simply watching AJ and Howie playing with cars.
"Because we love you..... and also because Jase was coming here without anything that was his own." Kevin stated with a tear in the corner of his eye.
"Thank you.....but we really don't need this." I said looking around the two rooms.
"It's not that you need it.....but more that you deserve it." Brian hugged me.
"I don't deserve this.....I don't deserve three of you.....I don't deserve nothing....." I cried into Brian's shoulder.
After I said that I noticed how it sounded. That was when I saw the worried look on Lynn's face, then her pulling Kevin out of the room. I knew what she was doing....She was telling him to keep a close eye on me because I may do something to kill myself. And truth be known, I was too happy to do it.....but too scared to want to move on. At that thought, I hung on to Brian harder.
Lynn and Kevin walked back in. Kevin had a look of pure terror and compassion on his face. I knew then exactly what Lynn had told him.....and I think that I'm thankful that she did. As soon as they walked in I let go of Brian and pulled Lynn back out of the room.
"I didn't mean it the way it sounded." I cried as we were out ear shot.
"I know you didn't, but you do remember that this is how the last episode started right? You started talking about not deserving things that you really did deserve. Then you started to get depressed. Christopher.....I told Kevin the signs to watch for.....He told me he would. But can you promise me two things?" Lynn questioned with tears in her eyes.
"Yeah..." I mumbled.
"I want you to promise me that you won't do anything to harm yourself, and if you start feeling like you might, then tell someone, so that we can get you some help." Lynn begged me to answer.
"Yeah I will....I promise." I cried out.
"I also want you to promise to make my baby smile the way he did when you two were together those years back.....I want you to take care of these three men that are willing to love you....Chris, the look in their eyes show that they would do anything to keep you and Jase." Lynn said pulling me up to look directly into her eyes.
"I promise....I love my angels too much." I cried hugging onto her.
"Oh...You need to call my little duck because he has been calling all morning long to make sure you guys were okay." Lynn laughed at the name that we all knew that Justin hated.....but there were only two people that he would ever even let think that they could call him that.....His mother and I.
"I will mom.....He is my little duck too." I laughed while still hugging her.
"Okay....Teddy bear....I know you will." We both laughed at her name for me. There is a reason behind these names but I'm not telling right now.
We walked back into the room. Kevin was talking with Brian so I knew that Brian was told everything. I causally walked over to Kevin and wrapped my arms around him. Brian notice Kevin relaxing into my chest so he got the idea that he wanted to also. So Brian backed into Kevin, Kevin automatically wrapped his arms around him too. Here the three of us are standing in Jase's room hugging onto each other. AJ and Howie looked up and grinned.
"Get a room!" AJ laughed.
I whispered for Kevin to back up. We walked about five feet backwards, still hugging onto each other. Once we were inside of the room, I yelled at AJ.
"We have a room!" I yelled with the biggest shit eating grin.
"Okay...smartass!" AJ yelled back.
"Watch your mouth around my grandson!" Lynn yelled at AJ.
"Sorry Lynn....."AJ replied.
"Okay lets straighten something else out here! You guys either call me mom or ma'am......is that clear?" Lynn spoke with authority.
"Yes ma'am!" they all yelled in unison.
They all stared at me when I replied "No ma'am!" Lynn just had the largest grin on her face that I had ever seen.
"You were always the problem child.....that is why I love you!" Lynn said giving me a peck on the cheek.
"I was never the problem child.......Justin was the one that everyone was yelling at most of the time!" I said trying to defend myself.
"But who was the one that talked him into the trouble?" Lynn questioned.
"Now we weren't talking about that!" I said quickly walking out of the room.
" That is what I thought!" Lynn yelled at me.
The rest of the day went quickly. I memorized the house from top to bottom, that way I would know where everything was. That night was just as peaceful, but there was still something that was disquieting floating through the air.
"Brian....tell me about this Leighanne woman." I asked Brian while we were sitting outside on the lounge chairs. Brian raised off my chest and stared me in the eye.
"Are you sure you want to talk about that?" Brian softly asked.
"Yeah....I do!" I answered pulling him back into my chest.
"Okay...She and I dated for about a year and a half. She is about five years older than I. I thought that I liked her at first, but then she changed. She went from my best-friend to my worst enemy. She thinks that I was the one who changed....but I was still the same person just a little wiser. Well....after I broke up with her, she blamed it on Kevin. Leighanne said that Kevin was the one who was forcing me to break up with her. Truth is that he did play a part in the break up.....but not in the way that she thought. He was the one who made me realize that I didn't like her, let alone, love her. Well after the break up she disappeared for about a month, then she returned thinking that I would have changed my mind. I turned her down once again. That was when she threatened to go to the label and tell them that I was gay. So to keep her quiet, I went out with her again. This time around she was using me for popularity. I only put up with that treatment for two months, then I left her again. The label thought that I still needed to make appearances with her every once and a while." Brian said as I crossed my arms over his chest.
"Does the label know that you're gay?" I whispered into his ear.
"No they don't. They just want her there for my image. But with her being that close all of the time, she still thinks that we're dating." Brian spoke the last part softly.
"Are you planning on telling the label about us?" I asked casually.
"Yes....I need to for you." Brian said turning around and staring into my eyes.
"Brian don't do it for me......I'm going to be here if you tell them or not." I said as I leaned up and kissed him softly on his bottom lip.
"Okay.....I'm going to wait for a while. But know that if you told me to stop and end my career today....I would call the label and tell them that I quit. I would do anything for you and Jase, for that fact, mom also." Brian said the last part with a smile that made my heart skip a beat.
"That goes for me also.......Justin too." Kevin said startling us. Kevin then handed the phone in his hand to me. "Justin wants to talk to you."
I took the phone from Kevin, then kissed him.
"Hey....Little Duck!" I said into the phone.
"Hey....Teddy Bear!" we both laughed. Brian and Kevin looked at me funny.
"You know that we need to find names for our two babies here." I said staring at Brian and Kevin.
Brian leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Kevin's name is Boo!".
"I take that back, we need to find a name for Brain, then." I told Justin.
"Why.....what about Kev?" Justin asked curiously.
"Brian told me his name is Boo. I like it..." I said leaning up and kissing Kevin again. Brian had that....'What about me' look on his face, so I gave him a kiss too.
"Awww.....I like it. For Brian we need something really cute....." Justin trailed off at the end.
"He needs something that will fit him real well...." I sat there thinking.
"I know...." Justin said excitedly, "He is our Angel!"
"OOOUUU.....I like it. It is so sweet!" I said staring at Brian. I pulled Brian towards me and whispered "You're our Angel." into his ear.
"Okay then we have the names figured out.....I was just calling to remind you to go over to James's office to get that stuff from Sue." Justin informed me.
"I haven't forgotten yet! I have so much to do tomorrow!" I said staring up at the sky. Brian and Kevin hugged onto me to comfort me.
"What all do you have to do?" Justin asked concerned.
"I have to take Jase to go see Karen and Diane, then I have to run by James's office. Then by noon I have a meeting with your mother." I laughed at the last statement.
"Meeting my ass....she just wants to talk to you!" Justin laughed.
"I know.....Okay...lets see, I still need to have everything transferred down here. Then I have to find my cars. I think that my day is going to be interesting." I finished my list of to do's.
"Well....You know that Diane and Karen are not going to let you take Jase with you. They are going to end up keeping him all day! They always do!" Justin said laughing.
"I know...I know. Do you know when Stacy will be up?" I asked.
"I think that James said that she will be up sometime next week. Why?" Justin asked.
"Because I haven't seen her since Christmas! I never get to see my family anymore." I whined at Justin.
"I don't want to hear it! All you have to do is call everyone and tell them that you want to see them....especially us! You know that we would have stopped by for a weekend." Justin yelled at me.
"I don't care about seeing you guys! I want to see Heather, Tyler, Stacy, and Jonathan! Those are the people I never get to see." I argued.
"Well now you can....all you have to do is call them." Justin said.
"I know.....God you sound like mom every second." I replied with a laugh.
"Has she told the guys to either call her Ma'am or mom yet?" Justin asked laughing.
"Yeah.....I think it kind of shocked them!" I laughed.
"Hey Teddy Bear....I'm going to go now.....Joshua is making me go!" Justin whined.
I could hear Josh in the background yelling at Justin.
"Hey...Just...I love you!" I said.
"I love you guys too....Give them a kiss for me!" Justin said.
"I will.....Let me talk to Josh for a second."
"Okay...I love you....here is Josh." Justin said.
"I didn't do it!" Josh said coming onto the phone.
"Oh but you did! You made my Little Duck get off the phone!" I laughed at him.
"But he needs to go to bed so that we can get up early in the morning." Josh argued.
"Are we playing daddy now? Anyway....When are you going to see Heather? I thought James said either Wednesday or Thursday." I asked.
"Thursday....That is when we are in New York. She is going to come up to visit for a while. Why?" Josh asked curiously.
"I was just wondering. Is James around?" I asked casually.
"Yeah hang on....." Josh said.
"Are you going to talk to everyone one tonight?" James laughed into the phone.
"No you're the last one tonight!" I said.
"Okay...what's up?" James asked.
"Are you still going to ask Heather Thursday?" I asked.
"Yeah....why?" James asked.
"Could you tell her to call me afterwards. I want to start discussing wedding arrangements!" I laughed into the phone.
"You need Karen, Lynn, and Mom there too. I'm making y'all my wedding committee." James said softly so that Josh would not hear it.
"Well we cannot do anything until you guys decide the date, the place, the color, and everything else. The we can take over!" I informed him.
"Okay... I will tell Heather to call you later that night! Hey I got to go Josh is pushing everyone to bed! Hey...I love ya....talk to you later." James said.
"Love ya too....bye." I said then hung up.
The rest of the night went by in a blur....The next thing that I remember I'm waking up outside in the lounge chair.
Brian and Kevin had their heads laying in my lap. I glanced at my watch....It said 1:30 a.m. I slowly woke Bri and Kev. We walked into the house and headed up stairs. As we walked past Jase's room, I saw that Howie was laying on the bed with Jase in his arms and AJ was sitting on the floor with his head resting on the bed. They were all three asleep. The bed was large enough that Kevin and I laid AJ in it without waking the three of them up. I covered them over and kissed all three on their foreheads. I walked to the door and glance one last time at them and then turned off the light. I told Brian and Kev to go ahead and sleep with me. I told them that I would be right back, and then I went down stairs for a drink. As I was walking back to my room, I hear soft cries coming from one of the rooms. The closer I got to it, I realized that it was Nick's room.
I softly knocked on the door. No answer. I knocked again. Still no answer. I decided to try the door, it was unlocked. I slowly stuck my head into the room for a quick survey of the area. I saw Nick was laying in his bed with his head buried in a pillow. I walked over to the side of the bed and sat down on it. Nick still did not respond to me. When I lightly rubbed his back, he finally noticed my presence.
"Nick what's wrong?" I asked concerned.
"Nothing....Nothing." Nick cried into his pillow.
"If this is nothing, then it is a big nothing." I said pulling him up to look at me. "Now tell me what is wrong."
"I'm scared!" Nick said flatly.
"You're scared? Scared of what?" I asked confused.
"I'm scared that I'm going to die alone!" Nick said as he broke down again.
When Nick said that it started flashbacks from a few years back. I said the same thing, then I tried to kill myself! This worried me! I did not know how stable Nick was.
"Why do you think that?" I asked concerned.
"Because I can never find anyone who likes me for me and not for the fame." Nick said with tears flowing form his eyes.
"Nick promise me one thing right now! Promise me that you will not hurt yourself!" I said quickly.
"What? Why?" Nick asked confused.
"Because this is how I felt before I started to hurt myself.....I don't want you to go through that! It scares me to think about anyone else going through that. So promise me that." I informed him.
"Okay I promise!" Nick replied.
"Good....Now you're still young. You may find someone today, tomorrow, or five years from now. You just have to have faith that you will eventually find that one person." I told him
"But I want...No....I need someone right now!" Nick cried.
"No all you need right now are friends and family! Nothing else. Love lives are an extra!" I told Nick. "Now go to sleep.... You guys have a meeting with the label tomorrow."
"Okay....G'night Chris.....thanks!" Nick whispered as he fell asleep.
"G'night Nick." I whispered after knowing he went to sleep.
I walked back into my room, only to find that Brian and Kevin had each moved to the side of the bed leaving me with the middle. Hell who am I to complain! I quickly undressed and crawled into bed. As soon as I was in bed, Brian and Kevin wrapped their arms around me. And then we all fell asleep.
The next morning I was woken up by someone or something jumping up onto my chest. I opened my eyes enough to look at it, then fell back asleep. I quickly jumped out of bed, once I realized that there was not a someone on my chest but a dog. When I jumped up I knocked both Brian and Kevin out of the bed. There I was standing on the bed clenching my chest because of the sudden shock. Brian and Kevin looked up from the floor at me with tired eyes. They quickly woke up at the shocked look on my face. They quickly stood and followed my gaze to the floor at the foot of the bed. Before they could figure it out they heard that distinctive whelp of a dog. Before I realized it, Brian had dove to the foot of the bed and picked up the dog and hugged onto it.
"Tyke!" Brian yelled happily. "What you doing here?"
Then fear filled both Kevin and Brian's faces.
"Mom"
"Aunt Jackie"
Both Brian and Kevin said at the same time. Before either of them could react, there was a knock at the door.
"Brian honey....are you in there?" A voice spoke from the other side of the door.
"A....a...Yeah mom! I'll be down in a second! I need to get dressed!" Brian yelled back with a panicked expression.
"Okay honey....I'll be in the kitchen." The voice spoke again. Then we hear the distinct sound of foot steps going down the hallway.
"Brian what are we going to do?" Kevin asked worriedly.
"Honestly....I don't know! I guess we need to tell her the truth." Brian said staring Kevin and I down. "That is if you want too."
"We need to some time. Are you sure now is the time?" I questioned them.
"Yeah....Get it done and over with!" Brian said looking towards the door.
I knew that Brian was close to breaking down. Hell. So was I! But I needed to be strong for him. If things didn't go the way we hoped then someone was going to need to comfort him.
We quickly got dressed. Before walking out of the room. We kissed each other on last time, then head out down the hall. Before we reached the stairs, AJ stuck his head out the door to see what was going on. We quickly informed him with all of the details. He said that he would make sure that no one would interrupt us. After that we all continued our journey to the kitchen. The closer we got the more we could smell the distinct odor of food being cooked. Before any of us realized it, we were standing in the kitchen door way.
"Hey...mom!" Brian said walking over to her and kissing her.
"Morning honey!" Brian's mother said, then turned to Kevin and I. "Morning Kevin! Oh we have a guest....what your name?"
"Mom that is Chris." Brian answered for me.
"Oh....." Brian's mother seemed to be thinking for a second. "Morning Chris."
"Morning......" I trailed off not really being introduced to her.
"I'm Jackie.....And don't bother with that Mrs. Littrell stuff." Brian's mother said with a smile. Now I knew where Brian's came from.
"Okay Jackie.....nice to meet you." I said with a just as equal smile.
"How is your mother?" Jackie asked causally.
"Uhm.....she is fine." I asked confused. After at quick glance at Brian and Kevin, I knew they were just as confused.
"When you talk to her again tell her that I said hi." Jackie said returning to the stove.
"Uhm....mom....do you know his mother?" Brian asked relieving the tension from all of us.
"Yes...I do!" Jackie answered without turning toward us. "Oh...is Jase here too?"
"Okay....I'm confused." Brian said quickly.
"Why?" Jackie asked finally turning around.
"Because you seem to know Chris, but he doesn't seem to know you though." Brian answered her.
"He does know me....he just doesn't recognize the person standing in front of him. I have talk to him several times on the phone." Jackie informed us, then it clicked in my head.
"oh my god!" I said running toward her and picking her up into a tight hug. "I remember now! I was so stupid not to put two plus two together!"
"Now back to my question.....Is Jase here?" Jackie smiled.
"Yeah he is up stairs!" Kevin answered for all of us. "I will go get him."
"No Kevin don't....not yet at least. AJ and Howie need their sleep!" Jackie said shocking all of us.
"Get those stupid faces off now!" Jackie said demandingly. "Do you all think that you can hide things like this from me?"
"Hide what?" Kevin asked playing dumb.
"Don't play dumb with me!" Jackie said straight faced. "I knew about Alex and Howard! I'm not blind. They have been give hints for a while now. But I still love them. But now I have a larger concern....My two singing children!"
"What about us?" Brian asked
"I have known about the two of us since you were teenagers. Yes I raised my children to follow the bible, but why do you think that I never said anything about people that I had seen walking down the street. I love you both no matter what. Kevin your mother feels the same way too. No we don't agree to it directly, but we do know that you two are happy with each other. And that is why I know that you two are letting Chris move in." Jackie said with that mothering tone.
"Why didn't you ever say anything?" Brian asked breaking down in tears.
"Because I was waiting for you to tell me, but then I saw the three of you together a while ago. If you are going to be in a relationship like this, then I'm glad that you're both also with Chris. Is there anyone else that I need to know about, before I start planning the wedding." Jackie asked still using that mothering tone.
"Yeah actually there is...you know Justin Timberlake?" Kevin said shyly.
"Of *N sync? The cute one!" Jackie almost screamed.
"Yes that is the one!" Brian said with a slight smile.
"Well....I need to meet this guy! He has to pass my test before I will let my sons mess with him!" Jackie said seriously.
"I have known him for about ten years......My mother thinks of him as her own." I informed Jackie.
"Well then....I think that he would be okay then....but I still want to meet him soon." Jackie said seriously looking us in the eye.
"Yes....Mom" "Yes....Aunt Jackie" "Yes.....Jackie"
"Okay....Now I want to see Jase again! Go ahead and wake them....Breakfast is ready anyway!" Jackie said turning back to the stove.
Kevin and I quickly went up stairs to wake everyone up. Kevin went to wake Nick up. While I was getting AJ and Howie. I already knew that both of them were up because of the earlier acknowledgement when Jackie arrived. I knocked on the door, but heard Jase laughing on the other side. Okay I now know that Jase is awake also. I slowly open the door since no one responded to my knock. There in the middle of the room was Howie on his back on the floor with Jase beating him with a stuffed animal, and AJ sitting on top of Howie tickling him. Damn another Kodak moment! I'm going to start carrying a camera around. Since no one noticed my presence, I quickly ran into my room for the camera. When I got back they were still in the same position. I quickly took about five pictures before yelling at them, catching their attention. After making them clean up the room from the previous night, they went down stairs. As soon as Jase saw Jackie, he ran up to her to hug.
"Jackie!" Jase yelled running to her.
"Hey baby...." Jackie said picking Jase up and kissing his cheek. "How are you? Are they playing with you?"
"Yeah...AJ and Howie are funny!" Jase laughed.
"Oh are they?" Jackie asked looking over at AJ and Howie, then glancing towards me.
"Yeah.....And Nicky too!" Jase said hugging Jackie again.
"What about Brian and Kevin? Do you like them too?" Jackie whispered into Jase's ear.
Jase seemed to be thinking for a minute, then leaned over to Jackie and whispered, "They act like daddy!" into her ear.
"Do you like them acting like that?" Jackie asked softly but loud enough for us to hear.
"Yeah....They are going to be my daddies too." Jase whispered into Jackie's ear.
"Oh are they? Who said?" Jackie whispered into Jase's ear again.
"Mommy, and Old Grandma." Jase replied. Jase has always referred to my grandmother as Old Grandma, since my mother really wasn't that old. My grandmother protested it at first, but she never said anything after Jase refused to call her anything else. If she only knew that I was the one who started it.
"Oh really? Do you think that they are right?" Jackie asked with a knowing, but still shocked look.
"I dun no....." Jase spoke softly.
"Okay then lets eat everyone!" Jackie yelled knocking all of us back to reality.
We all ate in silence, but not an uncomfortable silence. The silence was that of a family.
After everyone had finished eating, the guys went up stairs to start getting ready for their meetings with their managers and the label. I turned on the TV for Jase, then returned to the kitchen to help Jackie clear the dishes. As soon as I walked into the kitchen, I felt like I was meant to be here. Not with just Brian and Kevin, or with just the "Guys". This felt like I was at home. Jackie noticed me standing in the doorway staring into space.
"Your have a new feeling don't you? One that makes you not just want to be here, but one that makes you feel like you were meant to be here." Jackie asked sitting down at the table with a mug of coffee.
"Yeah.....how did you know?" I asked moving over and sitting down at the table.
"Chris....I have known your grandparents for a long time. I was hurt extremely badly when they died. What hurt the most was the fact that I couldn't come to the funeral! They left without me saying good-bye in a proper way. I have known your mother since we were both teenagers. I know that we have never actually met but I have talked with you on the phone several times." Jackie said in a matter a fact tone.
"Why didn't you ever come around?" I asked still confused with that situation.
"Well.....The only time that I actually had met you, you were only eight years old. That was the time that your grandfather was put into the hospital after the heart attack. But after that I was always with Brian. Making sure that he didn't do anything to cause anymore problems with his heart. Then when your mother told me about her suspicions of you being gay, I didn't want to walk into your life suddenly. Then when I noticed Brian and Kevin always being together, I started to see what I was doing to you and your mother. I trying to hide myself and children from that type of lifestyle, then figuring out Brian and Kevin were together totally confused me, but opened my eye to what I had been doing. I was turning myself away from my best friend." Jackie said as a tear slipped from her eye.
"Why didn't you start coming around after you figured out about Brian and Kevin? I know that mom really did miss you being there for her, especially after Jase was born." I said letting my own tear slip past my guards.
"Well.....At first I didn't know how to approach your mother after finding out about Brian and Kevin. It had been a year and a half since I had talked to her. Then the day that I finally decided to call her, Amber had gone into labor. That night your mother and I talked for five hours on the phone. Four hours after I hung up, I was walking into the hospital doors. Your mother was the one that didn't want me to see you because of the guys. She had known that you probably wouldn't want to be bothered with anyone else. I was the one who went with her to Amber's parents after your argument over the phone. I was at the funeral. I sat in the back row. And left a couple of hours after the burial. I was there the first suicide attempt. Then your father's funeral. Your mother and Jase had visited me a couple of times. You know...those times that she would say that she was leaving for Kentucky to go to the farm, she was actually visiting me. That was how she has known the "Guys". Even though they had never met or even heard about Jase, I knew that one day you guys would meet. I always figured that you all would have been really close friends like your mother and I, but never really thought of it going this far. And now that it has happened, I don't think that there is anyone else more deserving of their love then you and Jase. Okay enough of this talk.....you have things to get done. Now go get ready!" Jackie demanded.
"Okay....But I want to thank you. I don't know why, but I have the need to thank you." I said walking out of the kitchen.
I walked into the living room to get Jase, but found that he was not there. Figuring that he had gone to his room, I went up stairs. I walked into Jase's room to find Kevin in a towel freshly out of the shower, drying Jase who had also been in the shower. I thought that it looked cute. Kevin looked up at me, and smiled. Looking at Kevin, and how he was helping Jase get dressed and ready, gave me a feeling that I had never really felt before. This feeling was something that made me whole. Watching Kevin take care of Jase like he was his own son, gave me joy. Then the thought of Kevin and Brian wanting to be fathers to my son, came rolling into my brain.
I walked out of the room and into my room. I heard the shower running and carefully walked into the bathroom and sat down on the bathroom counter.
"I'm going to invest in clear shower doors." I said making my presence known.
"Why would you do that?" Brian yelled over the noise of the shower.
"I don't know? It was just a thought." I said as Brian shut off the shower.
Brian reached out of the shower and grabbed the towel hanging beside the door. He dried himself off, then quickly wrapped the towel around his waist. Brian then slid the door open.
"You're next!" Brian said walking over to me and kissing me before walking out of the room.
I quickly got into the shower, washed, then got out. I got dressed, then was ready to start my first day in my future. I walked downstairs and found Jase and Jackie sitting on the couch watching TV.
"Jase I think that your daddy is ready to go." Jackie said.
"I don't wanna go!" Jase cried.
"But we're going to go see Grandma Karen and Grandma Diane." I said noticing his attitude change once hear who we were going to go see. "Jackie....Are you going to be here tonight?"
"Yeah...I'm going to be in town for another two days. I have some business to do here." Jackie answered.
"Okay then. We will see you tonight!" I said grabbing Jase and walking out the door. We got into the car and made the short drive to Lynn's house. Lynn had told me yesterday that Diane and Karen were going to be over. I pulled into the driveway and got Jase out of the car. Before Jase's feet even hit the ground he had taken off running towards the house.
"Grandma Karen! Grandma Diane!" Jase yelled at the women walking out the front door.
"Hey baby!" they both said picking him up and hugging him.
Lynn walked over to me and then just stood there watching Karen and Diane with Jase. I know we stood there watching him for a minute or two before either one of us spoke.
"I'm glad you're both here." Lynn said never breaking her stare at Karen and Diane.
"I'm glad I'm here too. I met Jackie today. You knew about her didn't you?" I asked finally looking at Lynn.
"Yeah....I have known the she was one of your mothers friends for a long time." Lynn said finally looking at me in the eye.
"Well....she wants to met Justin." I informed her.
"I figured as much. Okay come in and visit for a minute. I called Sue and she is going to be at the office all day. She said that you have until Thursday to give her a yes or no." Lynn said dragging me into the house.
We all walked into the living room and started talking. Jase was playing with Jonathan in the middle of the floor. Jon and Jase are a few years apart but they get along so well together. After a short conversation, we all sat there staring at the boys playing on the floor.
"Lynn do you remember how Justin and I would always get into a fight and you would make us sit in the middle of the floor with everyone watching us?" I asked watching the boys.
"Yeah....You two would fight over some of the stupidest things! The one thing that I remember the most is the fight where you and Justin were fighting over who was going to ride in the back sit with Britney. I made you both sit in the back seat holding each others hands." Lynn said recalling one of the first fights that Justin and I had.
"But if you had only known what came from the experience! That night Justin and I talked about things that neither one of us had ever thought about. That was the night that we started going out together." I recalled everything that started that night.
"Well I'm glad it was you and not someone else who Justin maybe regretting now." Lynn stated in the mother tone.
"Lynn....do you regret me being with Justin?" I asked staring her in the eye, paying no attention to everyone else in the room.
"Honestly.....I did when I first realized it six years ago, but now no. All I want is for Justin to be happy. If that means with you, I'm happy for him and you for that matter. I have always loved you more than everyone else. You have always been the son that I never had. Then when Jase was born.....I saw how excited Justin was for you. That was when I realized that you two honestly loved each other. You and Jase make him happy just being his friends.....with love as an added extra." Lynn spoke with tears streaming.
"Is that why all three of you have taken Jase in also? Because I mean this much to everyone?" I asked everyone in the room.
"Chris I have known you for five or six years. I have seen how Josh loves being your friend. He goes out of his way to be with you and Jase. The reason I treat you two the way I did is because you guys are just as much family to me as my own." Karen said picking Jase up off the floor where he was sleeping with Jonathan.
"Chris I'm the same way as Karen. James and Stacy love to be around you. You may not see it, but they look up to your strength. Here you are at nineteen years old with a son of four-years-old, a father who has been killed, two grandparents that have been killed, and the death of your child's mother. Over coming your own suicidal problems, working to make every day be a good one for your son, and covering up your own sexuality just so you can make a name for your self in this mentally unconscious world. And of all things, you have three boy-friends who have to cover up their own sexualities. You are friends with so many famous people, that you have to watch what you tell other people about them. You have a lot of pressures for someone your age." Diane said.
"I'm not strong. I live my life day by day. And making sure that my son has everything that he needs to survive. The strong ones are the guys. They have people watching them every second of the day." I argued back.
"They look up to you still. Yes they may have some major publicity pressures, but you have normal life pressures. You are going out here and doing what you love, not care what other people really think of you." Lynn shot back at me.
"But they are doing what they love...." I tried to argue again.
"But they have to watch every move they make. But I guarantee that if you asked any of those three guys to stop right now, they would be putting applications in some place else looking for a new job. Chris they all love you enough to end their careers like that!" Lynn informed me.
"But I would never do that to them." I said softly.
"We all know you won't, but Lynn is just saying that they would actually do that for you." Diane reassured me.
That was how most of my morning went today. Diane and Karen took Jase and Jonathan shopping while Lynn and I went to our lunch. Lunch was a relaxing moment. Lynn and I talked about everything from shopping to movies to the bands to my future to Jase's future. After lunch we parted. I ran by James's office to look over the stuff that Sue had for me. Even though she said I had until Thursday, I stayed there and looked over the information. Before leaving I told her that she could go ahead and sign me up for the course. I wrote out the check and then left.
Before going home, I called the company that was bringing my cars up here to see if they were here yet. Thank god they were. They asked me if I wanted them delivered to me. Of course I said yes. I wasn't going to argue about it. I was trying to figure out how I was going to get them home anyway.
I drove around Orlando trying to remember where everything was located. At about five o'clock, I decided to head home. I knew the guys weren't going to be home until about seven tonight anyway. I also knew that Lynn was not going to let Jase come home tonight anyway either. That means it is just the guys, Jackie, and me tonight. I called the house to see if Jackie was there. I didn't get any answer so I assumed that she was not there. I quickly stopped at a local grocery store, and picked up some items that I would need for dinner tonight. After paying for everything, and I mean everything (I had never had a food bill so high...oh hang on....Yes I have...over the weekend I did....sorry!), I went home.
I unlocked the door and went straight to the kitchen with the bags. After setting them down on the table, I started searching the house for any type of life. My search came up empty. I went back down to the kitchen to start dinner.
I must have searched those cabinets for about ten minutes before I found everything that I needed. I planned to fix some steaks, seasoned potatoes, corn on the cob, tossed salad with every topping, and some Blueberry and Cherry pies (NOT all in the same pie! Two different pies!).
Just as I had finished fixing the potatoes and putting them in the oven, the doorbell rang. I looked up at the clock, it was only 6:30, so I knew it wasn't the guys. I quickly set the oven and ran to the door. I looked through the little peep hole but couldn't see anyone. I opened the door slowly not knowing what to expect. There stood in front of me the woman I had seen yesterday.
"What do you want?" I asked harshly.
"I want to see Brian!" Leighanne demanded.
"I'm sorry but he's not here right now, and if I'm not mistaken, I don't think that he wants to see you anyway!" I practically yelled at her.
"I know you have something to do with this. Brian was never like this until yesterday when you were with him. And if you do have something to do with this, you better hope I don't find out because I will crush you. I will do anything to keep Brian, and I mean everything!" Leighanne said storming off towards her car. Before getting into the car she turned to me and yelled, "I will kill you if you keep Brian away from me!" Then left.
Thanks for reading. And please don't worry about Nick. He is going to be an important key element in a future chapter. As always, Comments are wanted! Thanks again.
Christopher Christopherunknown@hotmail.com