The delay was long but worth it, because I'm back... poor you... enjoy all. SC.
DISCLAIMER: If you are under 18 (or 21 depending on local laws) please discontinue to read. If you are offended by male/male concepts that are not always Disney Channel rated, pleaase refrain from continuing to read this. I am of no knowledge as to Nsync's true sexuality or am in any way affiliated with JIVE/ZOMBA records.
AUTHOR's WORDS: After a great many months in hibernation I've returned to start writing once more for you all. I am very sorry that it's taken so long. I have missed the writing but needed to sort my head out again and hopefully now they will be more frequently updated for your enjoyment. I also will say here that I am very thankful to all those who nominated and voted for me with JC Dreams. Saddest Stroy Ending is not something I was expecting to take, I wasn't even expecting a nomination. Still I am greatful and feel extremely privelleged to have won this award... Thank you all.
FEEDBACK: jellybeanking@hotmail.com
AUTHOR THANKS: Nifty... all I can thank at the moment - no one else has written in on this one... though I should thank the readers who have followed me across. Of course, I can't go without thanking my twin for all his help, love and companionship over the voyage of the net. Evan, I don't know what to say, a friend until the last. Also thanks to Mark, who makes life bareable at times... if I didn't have someone to come home and have coffee with I'd go mad... you're the best flatmate ever Mark!!!!
DEDICATION: This series is dedicated to Brendon Alexander James. 10 - January 1980 to 20 - August - 2000. Eternal rest grant unto him Lord and may perpetual light shine upon him, may he rest in peace. Amen.
Hearts of Ash 04
by
Sun Child
"Would you like to stay at my place tonight?" Asked Asher and JC at the same time. They looked at each other and laughed. Asher repeated himself and JC looked at him.
"I certainly would." JC told him, concern in his eye. He still wasn't sure that Asher wouldn't do something stupid in the night, despite their talk of how he seemed to be over Rob. Pulling up at Asher's, JC paid the driver and tipped him and got out of the car.
Once they were inside, Asher went around and turned on a few lights, then led JC into the lounge room. They both sat down on the couch and started to talk. As they talked, Asher could feel himself moving closer to JC and he could have sworn, JC was moving closer to him.
"Josh, what is going on with us?" Asher asked out of the blue.
"What do you mean? We're sitting here talking." JC told him confused.
"What I mean is, you've taken me to dinner, we've come back here to my place. What is going on with us? I will be honest and say I feel attracted to you." JC looked at Asher.
"Well I'd be lying if I said I didn't find you attractive to me either, but I don't know that this is really..." JC's words were cut off as his mouth was covered by Asher's. JC was taken a bit by surprise and stiffened in Asher's arms. Asher felt JC in his arms and let go and looked at JC.
"I'm sorry, that's what I thought you wanted..." He stammered out. JC put his hand softly on Asher's shoulder then leant in and kissed him gently.
"It's not that I didn't want to, I just didn't know if it was appropriate." Asher nodded understanding. Leaning in against JC's chest asher whispered out an apology as JC wrapped his arms around him. Asher looked up.
"Thank you Josh." JC looked down and smiled.
"It was my pleasure Ash." Asher stood up.
"Not to sound rude, but I'm dead tired and needing some sleep." JC nodded.
"Ok, that's cool. Can I borrow a pillow and some blankets. I'll crash here on the couch."
"Josh, would you mind sleeping in with me please?" JC looked at Asher and nodded slowly. JC slowly stood up and Asher wrapped his arms around JC.
"Thanks for being a friend." Asher said and leant in against JC. JC smiled softly.
"It's been my pleasure Ash."
The next morning JC opened his eyes and he looked to the side of him... Asher was lying there looking at him. Asher smiled.
"Morning sleepy head." Asher smiled. JC smiled back. Asher snuggled down into JC.
"Asher, this probably isn't a morning conversation, but have you cried over Rob yet?" Asher let go and rolled onto his back.
"I did for a bit yesterday then I realised that I couldn't cry over what I couldn't feel. I felt no loss, I felt as though I lost him months ago. He became withdrawnn from me for quite a while and I let go then. I'd come home every night and cry. I mourned him before he died."
"Shouldn't you mourn him now as a lost friend then."
"It's hard when you think of himany other way than dead. In my mind he's been dead for the past three months when he started living on that ward. I've mourned for him and now have to go through the motions of buring him. I don't know if I can do that. We had it all worked out how we were going to do it. It's to be a small funeral. Close friends and there was just going to be a few people speak, then when we lowered him into the ground we were going to have a small CD player there and start a song."
"What song?" Asked JC intrigued. Asher giggled slightly.
"Would you believe 'Gone'?" JC smiled softly.
"We could arrange to have a live performance for you if you would like." JC suggested. Asher looked up at him with big sad brown eyes and looked into the crystal blue oceans of JC's.
"Would you? I mean could you?" JC nodded.
"Ash, it would be my pleasure." JC informed him. Asher wrapped his arms around JC.
"Thanks Josh. Seeing as you've made that offer, how about I offer you some breakfast?" JC smiled.
"How could I refuse?"
Shortly before midday, JC's mobile started to shriek in the den. Reaching over and grabbing it, JC answered.
"Hello... hey Curly... yes I know what time it is... what time... I'll be there in time, don't worry... yeah I gotta talk to you guys as well... umm, sure, just a sec and I'll ask." JC put his hand over the mouth piece.
"The guys want to know if you would like to come to dinner with us tonight?" Asher looked at JC in surprise.
"Sure, I guess so." Asher said, not sure of what was happening. JC smiled and spoke into the phone.
"Yeah, he's coming... CURLY... no, no nerve struck... just surprised... yeah yeah yeah... ok talk to you later." JC grinned as he hung up the phone and put it down. Asher looked at JC in interest.
"What, pray tell, did you yell into the phone at Justin about?"
"When I said you were coming, Curly said that you weren't, just breathing heavy and that I have a better mouth than hand." JC said, turning several shades of red. Asher laughed out loud.
"You have a nice laugh." JC told him. Asher took his turn of blushing.
"You do, and it's the first time I've heard you laugh honestly, rather than your forced giggles." JC told him warmly. Asher smiled and leant into JC and hugged him.
"Thanks Josh."
"For what?"
"For just talking to me. For being a friend, for being open, for being company, for being all of that and for being you." Asher told him honestly. JC smiled back at Asher.
"It's my pleasure." He told Asher. Asher lay back against JC, who wrapped his arms around him.
After lying there and watching a movie, the pair decided to make a move towards getting ready. Asher went and changed his clothes while JC did a quick call to Justin to let him know they were on their way over. When Asher walked out, JC's jaw hit the ground. Asher's face took on a concerned look.
"What, is my fly undone or something?" JC shook his head.
"No, I'm just... wow, you look hot." JC told him. Asher was standing there in a pair of tight, ripped jeans, a tight black shirt and a pair of chunky black shoes. Asher blushed slightly and did a quick turn to show it all of as a complete outfit. JC nodded his head in approval. Smiling, Asher walked over and held out his hand.
"Shall we leave now my dear." He asked laughing. JC smiled again and rose to his feet and nodded towards the door.
"We shall I think." This time it was Asher's turn to smile and together they walked out the door. Climbing into Asher's car, he turned to JC.
"Why do your friends want me to come to dinner tonight?"
"No idea, why don't you ask them yourself?" Asher nodded quietly and said nothing.
Pulling up outside JC's house, Asher looked over at him nervously.
"They're not going to hate me for keeping you away from them for so long are they?" He asked. JC laughed.
"I would seriously doubt it Ash, now don't stress and let's go." JC leant across and gave Asher a quick kiss, his stubble scraping Asher's cheek. Asher reached up and touched where the beard had made contact then looked out the window. Braving the odds, he opened the door and stepped out of the car. Together they walked up to the front door which JC pushed open. Justin wandered out to see who was entering and smiled.
"The wayward boy returns... and with trade in tow I see." JC poked his tongue at Justin.
"Fuck you Curly."
"Sure, but you'd never call me in the morning. You two have a good night?" He asked. Asher smiled and nodded.
"It was good to have someone to talk to and relax with after yesterday." He admitted. Justin smiled and nodded.
"If you will excuse me, I think I'll go get dressed in more than just boxers." Justin said. Justin padded out of the room and made his way up the stairs.
"Is that you Joshua?" Came a female's voice from the next room.
"Yes Lynn." JC called back.
"About time you got home. Now tell me all about her..." Lynn said walking into the hallway.
"Or is it him?" She asked smiling and raising an eyebrow. JC turned bright red and Asher giggled to himself.
"Oh Joshua, get over it hunny... call it mother's intuition." Lynn smiled.
"Hello, I'm Lynn Harliss... Justin's mom." She said to Asher smiling and holding out her hand.
"Hi Ms Harliss, I'm Asher." Lynn smiled at him.
"So formal, please, call me Lynn." Asher nodded.
"Now, Joshua, you know you are expected to call when not coming home at night. Even if it is to Justin at four in the morning. Now go get ready, you're all going to dinner tonight." She told him sternly, while still smiling. JC nodded and bounded up the stairs leaving Asher and Lynn standing in the hallway looking at each other.
"Well, don't just stand there, come help me in the kitchen." Lynn commanded Asher. Asher obediently followed her. Lynn pointed to a pot on the stove top.
"Stir that slowly for about five minutes for me please Asher."
"Please Lynn, call me Ash, everyone else does." Lynn nodded.
"Very well Ash. What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a social worker trying to break into some kind of performance. Singing, dancing, acting, it doesn't make a difference to me, just as long as I'm on stage."
"Sounds interesting, but this is Orlando, aren't most people trying to get into the entertainment industry."
"Only those crummy boy bands that say 'I will love you and only you' from five different guys in one song." Asher laughed. Lynn laughed along with him.
"Okay, we'll leave that one between us and not tell the boys that one I'm thinking. You speak your mind and opinions... I like that, we'll be great friends. Now you're stirring that too fast, slow down a little." Lynn commanded. Asher followed his instructions and was soon happy with his progress.
"Justin tells me your boyfriend died yesterday. You seem rather chirpy for that."
"I finished my mourning for Rob a few months ago. He was dying of cancer and I started mourning when we were told, but stopped about three months ago when it was apparent he wasn't going to get better." Asher confided in Lynn. Lynn nodded comprehending what Asher was saying.
"It also helped that I had Josh there to talk to yesterday and today about it all." Lynn smiled.
"Well, you must be in his good books, no one is allowed to call him Josh or Joshua. I can because I've known him for such a long time. Justin can occasionally, depends on Josh's mood. I will agree, Josh has a good head on his shoulders and is a good listener. You could do a lot worse." Asher nodded.
"I could, but I doubt anything will happen between me and Josh. Well, not for a while anyways. He's touring, I'm working, I'm deciding what to do with all of the stuff that Rob and I had together. Hell, I've still got to organise the funeral." Lynn looked over at him.
"If you want, I can help you with that, as I'm sure Josh will. When I said you could do a lot worse than Josh, I'm sorry if it sounded like I was trying to push you together. It was an absent comment."
"One which you know will play on my mind." Asher smiled at her. Lynn grinned at him.
"Exactly."
At the top of the stairs, Justin was standing there.
"He even gets to call you Josh." JC looked up startled.
"Curly, what you doing there."
"Trying to figure you out Mr Smooth."
"In what way Justin?" JC asked, suddenly looking and feeling very tired.
"I want one answer, straight out and honestly... can you do that?" Justin asked.
"Yes Juju, I'm gay."
"I already knew that, I was going to ask if you want him or if you are playing with him?"
"I don't know Justin. I think I want him, I'm totally not playing with him. I like him. He isn't ready though." JC said reflectively.
"Are you sure, he seemed pretty ready to me. He couldn't keep his eyes off you while we were in the hallway. He didn't even notice me really." Justin observed. JC cocked his head to the side.
"Really?" Justin nodded his head. JC grinned and smiled. Justin groaned at the teenager lovebird that had appeared infront of his eyes.
"Go to the shower, I'll get you clothes so you look good for your boy." JC grinned and nearly skipped to the bathroom. Justin giggled to himself and went into the bedroom to pick out clothes for JC.
Justin walked into the kitchen to find Asher standing there talking to Lynn.
"I'll do that for you if you want a break Asher."
"Justin, please call me Ash." Justin nodded and moved to start the stirring of the pot for his mother.
"If you go sit in the den, JC should be down soon." Asher nodded, feeling conspired against. Handing the wooden spoon to Justin, he walked out of the kitchen. Justin checked to see he was out of earshot.
"All seeds are planted on my end." Said Lynn looking over and grinning at her son.
"Same, JC is over the hill for it." Justin grinned at her. "What was Ash stirring anyways?"
"Water with some food dye." Lynn smiled at him.
JC soon appeared in the den, dressed in the clothes Justin had laid out for him. Asher looked up as he walked in and his jaw hit the ground.
"You look unreal Josh." He said, admiring. JC stood before him in a pair of leather boots, a pair of tight black pants with a silver long sleeved shirt. The look with the way he had done his hair was fantastic. He had even shaved off the goatee he had spent all those months trying to grow. Asher stood up and walked over to JC and hugged him.
"Josh, you are amazing and look spectacular."
"Thanks Ash, so do you." He kissed Asher on the forehead and the pair went to check on Lynn and Justin.
--- Okay guys, I know this is short for the amount of time I've taken off, but I'm easing back into this gradually. Can you remember my feedback details? -= jellybeanking@hotmail.com =- Keep cool and take care all Love kisses and Jellybeans Sun Child xxx