DISCLAIMER: If you are under 18 (or 21 depending on local laws) please discontinue to read. If you are offended by male/male concepts that are not always Disney Channel rated, please refrain from continuing to read this. I am of no knowledge as to Nsync's true sexuality or am in any way affiliated with JIVE/ZOMBA records.
AUTHOR'S WORDS: Well, after another extended break for the writing game, I have returned. I seem to be good at these breaks don't I. I will apologise, work has kept me extremely busy (sssh, I'm writing this chapter at work) and am currently in the midst of a caffine induced haze... praise be to coffee machine! Please note that if you have written in and I have no written back, my brissyboi1982@hotmail.com has been hacked by an insipid queen and I am unable to access it.
FEEDBACK: brisboi82@hotmail.com - please note this is a NEW EMAIL!
AUTHOR THANKS: I just want to thank the many people who have supported me for so long. Firstly, to Nifty, for their continual support and letting me clog up the space on their server with my inane drivel. Brad, for his constant shoulder to lean on, his endless cups of coffee, and for being one of my true friends. Sam, ahhh Mistah Sammy, how would I cope without you. My friend, my counsellor... I'd be lost without you.
DEDICATION: This series is dedicated to Brendon Alexander James. 10 - January 1980 to 20 August - 2000. Eternal rest grant unto him Lord and may perpetual light shine upon him, may he rest in peace. Amen.
Hearts of Ash 08 by Sun Child
Asher moved quickly to Justin's side as his cell started to ring from his pocket. Fishing it out he didn't even look at who was calling.
"Josh, I need you in the bathroom now." With that, he hung up and reached out for Justin who shrunk away from his touch.
"Justin, it's okay, it's me here. It's Ash, come on, you know I'm not about to hurt you." Justin looked over at Asher through his one good eye and started to shake again. Asher reach out and gently touched Justin's arm. Justin looked at Asher again, only this time didn't shrink away. Asher put out his arms and Justin leant into them, still cautious of what might be going on. As Asher started to close his arms around Justin, he felt Justin stiffen and moved one arm away, resting the other lightly on Justin's back. JC burst into the bathroom, a worried look on his face causing Justin to flee from Asher's arms into the corner of the cubicle again. Asher looked at Josh and shook his head.
"Justin, it's ok, just come out of that corner, neither Josh or I are going to hurt you." Again Asher reached out for Justin who quietly, though cautiously, crept forwards and rested against Asher. Asher once more gently enclosed Justin in his arms and rocked him gently, stroking at his hair. Once Justin had calmed enough, Asher stood with him and spoke gently.
"Ok Justin, we're going to take you home now. That means we've got to walk out of the toilets. Can you do that with me?" Justin shrank back for a moment, but Asher held him tight. Justin relaxed slightly and let himself be led out into the club, JC trailing behind picking up Jared on the way. The foursome made the way out of the club and down to where they had parked the car.
Pulling up, JC shut off the car as Asher sat in the back with Justin sleeping against him, though clinging onto him for dear life even in his sleep. Asher gently nudged Justin awake who leapt and shrank away then realised that it was Asher and slipped back up beside him and out of the car. Asher handed his keys to JC who went up and opened the door into the house. Walking inside Justin looked carefully around him and followed Asher closely as he led him to the bathroom to get him cleaned up. He motioned for Justin to sit on the edge of the bath as he went to the medicine cabinet. Returning to Justin, Asher spoke gently.
"This may sting a little." He said as he dabbed at the cuts with some alcohol. Justin flinched but didn't say a word.
"Want to tell me what happened?" Asked Asher. Justin remained silent, a scared look still etched upon his face. Asher sighed a little.
"Justin, if you don't talk soon and keep it bottled up inside, it's going to eat you alive. We're here to help you not hurt you. You can tell us what's wrong."
"I didn't realise she had a boyfriend." Justin whimpered. Asher arched an eyebrow.
"Who had a boyfriend?"
"Michelle, the girl I was talking to all night. She kissed me and so I kissed back. Then this guy appeared and, well..." He pointed to his face. Asher frowned at the idea of someone resorting to violence over a mistaken kiss then shook his head, leant forwards and hugged Justin.
"Well you're all good now my friend so just relax. He won't get you here. You're safe here." Justin clung to Asher tightly and rested his head on his shoulder and didn't move. Slowly Asher stood up and Justin followed. He lead Justin into the spare bedroom and let him lie down and sat there with him until he drifted off to sleep.
Walking out he found JC waiting there for him.
"How's he doing?" He asked. Asher shook his head.
"He told me what happened, so he's still a little shaken but I don't think there's any real damage done."
"What happened?" Asked JC.
"I can't say Josh. It's under privacy act and as his social worker I can't disclose that information."
"Ok, then as his friend can you tell me?" He asked. Asher shook his head.
"Josh, even then, it's not my place. Only he can tell you and in his own time."
"Ash, I'm his best friend. I have a right to know." Demanded JC.
"Only if he says you do. He hasn't said to tell you or anything like that. Now keep your voice down, he's sleeping." Asher reprimanded.
"Oh don't give me that shit. You can't tell me, if it was me that had happened to, wouldn't you want Justin to tell you."
"Only if you had asked him to tell me." Asher said, starting to get agitated.
"Now Josh, I understand you are upset and worried. Asking me to break a confidence is not the way to go about it." Asher told him gently. JC threw up his hands in exasperation.
"There's no winning here is there. Fuck it, I'm going home." JC told him turning for the door.
"Josh, stop this it's childish. If you are a friend to him, you'll understand why I can't tell you. If he told you something would you go telling everyone? Would you tell anyone? I don't know if I was told in confidence or not, so until I get an all clear I'm not saying anything." JC shook his head.
"No, if I was the person who knew, I'd tell those who needed to know."
"At the moment, you aren't his doctor or any thing in relevance. I can't disclose it." JC shook his head and walked down the hall. Asher followed after him, trying to work out his next move.
"I'll call later to check on him." JC said as he opened the front door.
"Why not just stay here."
"Because I'm leaving before I say something I regret to the man I love." JC said coldly. Asher stopped dead in his tracks. Jc went to say something else but cut himself short as he realised what he said. He opened and closed his mouth as if to say something then turned and walked out the door. Asher sighed in defeat and leant back against the wall and closed his eyes.
Asher wasn't sure how long he'd be standing there when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking over, Asher saw Justin standing there.
"You could have told him." Justin said softly.
"I didn't know if you wanted him to know." Asher replied quietly.
"It wouldn't have worried me, and it certainly wasn't worth arguing over."
"What if you had told me as a client. Not everyone who comes to see me designates that I am infact a social worker for them. If you had meant me in that role, I could have been in major trouble. It could have cost me my job." Justin smiled faintly.
"Thanks for thinking of my best interests. JC is lucky to have you." With that Justin wrapped his arms around Asher's neck and Asher leant his head forwards, lightly resting it on Justin's shoulder and his arms wrapped loosely around Justin's waist. Justin let them stand like that then loosened his hug. Asher let go and looked up.
"Come on, after your night, you need sleep." He smiled. Justin shrugged,
"Guess that would be a good idea huh." Asher smiled and led him away. As they walked down the hall, Asher reached out and placed his hand on Justin's shoulder.
"You holding up okay?" Justin shrugged.
"As much as anyone who has seen nine colours of shit beaten outta them can." Asher nodded his head.
"Well, if you need me at all, you know where my room is." Justin nodded and patted Asher's hand which was still on his shoulder.
"The same goes for you my friend." Asher smiled faintly as he removed his hand and walked into his room.
"Night Justin." Said Asher as he closed the door. Justin waved slightly and walked into his own room, leaving the door slightly ajar.
Asher was woken the next day by the phone ringing beside his bed. Asher opened an eye and read the time then reached for the phone.
"It's just gone 10 in the morning. Who is this?"
"Asher, I was looking for Josh, he's not answering his cell phone." Came Lynn's voice over the phone. Asher rolled slightly and handed the phone to JC. When no hand took it, he looked over and the previous night's memories washed back in. Asher put the receiver to his ear.
"He's not here Lynn. Try looking in his room or something."
"Not there? What do you mean not there? I... wait there's someone at the door, I'll go see who it is." Lynn put the phone down and walked away only to return a few moments later.
"Never mind Ash, he's just walked in the door. Is Justin still with you?" Asher shrugged, not even comprehending that Lynn couldn't see it.
"I would assume so. I haven't seen him since I went to bed."
"Is there any reason why Josh is here and not with you."
"No reason I really want to go into until I'm awake thanks Lynn." Asher replied non-commitally. Lynn sighed.
"You boys and your love lives. Alright, I'm not going to even try and get it out of you. You go back to sleep, sorry for waking you." Lynn said over the phone. Asher yawned and told her not to worry about it. Both said their goodbyes and hung up.
Lynn walked down the hall to JC's room where she knocked gently.
"Josh sweetie?" The door opened slightly.
"Yes Lynn?" Lynn leaned against the door frame.
"Are you okay? I thought you were staying with Asher for a while."
"We had a fight and I decided not to stay there last night."
"What time did you leave there then?"
"Around four this morning."
"JOSH! It's ten in the morning now, where have you been?"
"I've been out Lynn. I left Asher's and went for a walk. I found a nice quiet cafe and sat there and had some coffee." JC told her, slightly aggitated. Lynn shook her head and shrugged pushing herself off the door frame.
"Alright Josh. I'm not going to argue. I spoke to Ash before as well." Josh's head shot up.
"What did he say."
"That he wasn't going to talk about it until he was fully awake. I suggest you get there before he is, that way you can work out what you want to tell me and what we don't."
"We had a fight Lynn, simple as that."
"Over what? It can't have been that bad that you can't work it out."
"It was over Justin." Lynn's mouth dropped open.
"No, it wasn't that type of fight either. It was simple as the fact that he got into a scrape and Ash wouldn't tell me any details because he felt it would be betraying Justin's trust."
"Who did he fight with?" Demanded Lynn.
"I don't know, Asher wouldn't tell me, which is why we had the fight." JC told her.
"I can understand it I guess, Justin told him as a friend and confidant. It would be the same as if you told him something that had happened to you. You wouldn't want him to tell everyone. He could have told me as Justin's mother though. He didn't even mention it."
"Don't expect too much out of Ash before the first six cups of coffee." JC advised. Lynn slowly nodded her head.
"Alright, you're probably exhausted. Are you going to go see your boyfriend or sleep for a while first." JC sighed.
"I know I should go to him, but I think I'll sleep on it." Lynn nodded and stroked JC's cheek.
"You do what you think is best, you've got a good heart Josh, so does Ash and he's given that heart to you to hold, don't drop it and bruise it because it's still tender from Rob." Lynn told him gently. JC nodded as Lynn stepped back.
"Have a good sleep my young singer man." She told him. JC nodded and slowly closed his door.
When JC finally awoke he found Asher sitting in a chair across from him watching. A cup of coffee in hand. Asher smiled fainty.
"Afternoon sleeping beauty." JC smiled back.
"How long have you been sitting there?"
"All up or since I got this coffee?" Asher asked.
"Let's go with all up. I know how long coffee lasts in your presence and that still looks semi-full." Asher laughed slightly then shrugged.
"So I like my coffee, leave me alone." Asher said poking his tongue at Josh who giggled.
"Now how long have you been sitting there?" He asked. Asher looked at his watch.
"Oh I'd say about four and a half hours now." JC looked briefly at his clock.
"You were out of bed and here by midday?" He asked. Asher arched an eyebrow.
"Is the thought that hard to conceive?"
"No, I guess not, why didn't you wake me?" He asked.
"You looked peaceful and I couldn't bring myself too." Asher admitted. JC smiled and lifted the sheets for Asher to get in. Asher smiled and slipped off his shoes and climbed into bed and wrapped his arms around JC.
"Josh, I'm sorry I didn't tell you what went on with Justin but it just wasn't my place." JC nodded his head.
"I guess I can understand that, I felt, at the time, that you were keeping something from me. I didn't want to think that. Lynn put it somewhat into perspective for me in her on round about way." Asher nodded and leant his forehead against JC's.
"Josh, I think it's about time to tell you something." JC raised his head and looked into Asher's eyes, worrying dancing across his face.
"Relax, there's nothing bad." JC nodded though didn't look convinced. Asher reached out and stroked JC's cheek.
"Just wanted to tell you baby..." JC grimaced, making Asher smile slightly.
"I wanted to say, I love you." JC's eyes blinked open in surprise. Asher's bemused expression remained on his face.
"It's that hard to believe that you can be loved?"
"No, I just didn't expect it. It kinda blind sided me." Asher nodded.
"I'm not asking for you to declare undying love for me. I'm just tel..." Asher said as JC silenced him with a finger against his lips.
"Don't ask me for anything and I won't either. I'm not going to declare undying love for you, but I will tell you this, I love you and you mean so much to me that it hurts, last night caught me off guard because I was scared. Scared I was loving someone who would keep secrets from me." JC admitted. Asher frowned.
"Never baby, never." JC leant forwards and kissed Asher softly.
"I know baby, I've learnt that."
Break over, well briefly... I will try and be more regular with updates, when I have a life away from work, though I think my life is that squishy thing that lives under my desk. Anyways, feedback please... brisboi82@hotmail.com.
Thanks all, SC.