Wow!!! Can't believe I'm up to chapter eight... I have to admit I am loving people's guesses so far as to the identity of the mysterious Tay... so far... no one has guessed correctly... but his identity will be revealed soon... maybe in this chapter... and if not now... soon... as far as this chapter goes... come along and travel with Justin as he begins to explore some of the darker side of himself... will he be lost to the darkside forever??... only time will tell and the love of a good man... remember the force grin
This is my first story so I love getting feedback on what people like/dislike about the story so far. My name is Richard and my email is n_luvjc@hotmail.com. I will repeat the info at the end of the story for your comments, etc.
The title of this story reflects that it is a love story and since it revolves around the guys from 'N Sync, I combined 'Tearing up my Heart' with 'No Strings Attached'. As a FYI, I am writhing this story I most enjoy stories - good characters, good story and good sex. I will switch around the focus of the story giving each character a chance to develop. They will all have their secrets that will unfold as the story goes along, but then again don't we all have our little secrets. But I can assure you that they won't all have the same secret.
As for the formalities: This story is not intended to imply anything about the sexual orientation of the members of 'N SYNC. This story is fiction and meant for amusement only. If you shouldn't be reading this because of your age, where you live, etc. don't. If you are offended by male-male relationships/sex then this isn't the story for you.
Nick's voice falters as the switch of recognition goes off in his brain. When he got up to speak, he noticed a young man in the back stiffen and slump in his chair. He had just begun to introduce himself when the blue eyes filled with fear that were peeking out from under his cap locked onto his brown ones. The two men's stare lasted milliseconds in the reality of the room but for the two young men it felt like an eternity. 'Oh my god, that's Justin Timberlake!'
'whatamigoingtodowhatamigoingtodowhatamigoingtodo???' Justin's mind reels with panic as eyes dart around looking for a means of escape. 'CALM DOWN' he mentally shouts at himself. Justin shakes his head trying to clear his thoughts and hears Nick's voice begin again.
"... um sorry guys," Nick says, his voice cracking. "I wanted to say that I've been coming to meetings for over two months now and I think I am really starting to get my life together... I really only thought I wanted to say thank you to all of you, but I guess I also want to say that I'm proud of myself. I used to think that someone was going to have to come along and rescue me or that I was beyond help... I've come to realize that the bastard that hurt me... took advantage of me... my age... my youth... my innocence... I will no longer let him keep me from living the life that I want to live... I will no longer be afraid... I will no longer be afraid... I will no longer be ashamed... No matter what people think, I am more than a piece of meat..."
Justin watches transfixed as Nick begins to talk more and more passionately.
The pure emotion and pain saturates Nick's words. Justin's heart sinks as the awareness hits that Nick's attacker was probably the same as his own. He shudders as he relieves his own abuse in one powerful swirl of thought and emotion. His hands tighten into fists and his knuckles strain white. His eyes become sightless as the years of images flood by.
Movement beside his chair breaks his trance. People are filing past him as they head out the door at the back of the room. He suddenly wants nothing more than to run. He needs to get away. He needs to be free. He can't let Nick see him or talk to him. That, above all else at this moment, he cannot handle. He bolts uprights and turns quickly toward the door. He glances backward toward the spot Nick was speaking earlier and makes his break for freedom. His progress halts as he crashes in the semi-immovable object of a young-blond boyband singer, named Nick.
"Ooof!!" Nick exclaims as his breath is knocked from him. "You're obviously in a hurry. Were you trying to avoid me?"
Justin's open mouth can't seem to start working. His jaw moves a couple of times trying to at least close but to no avail. His brain has abandoned him with his senses. The world around him begins to spin and starts to go black. The last image he sees is Nick's expression change from a smile to a look of concern. The world goes dark, and he falls into nothingness.
Nothingness feels an awful lot light a hard wooden floor. Nick grabs for the other young man but it is too late. Justin hits the floor with a very undignified 'thump!' ...
Justin blinks as he regains he senses. He looks up and blinks again, bothered by the bright lights. The face closest to his is one that he knows, but the heads that appear over Nick's shoulder are strangers. "Shit" he whispers.
"See folks, I told you he'd be okay. Nothing to worry about here. He's a friend of mine. I'll see that he gets home safely." Nick says using a tone slightly more commanding than people might expect from such a young man.
A few people linger as if to express their concern or maybe just to be reassured, but eventually even the stragglers smile nervously and slip away to join the others that have already left. "There ya go Justin. You're fine now. Only thing hurt is your pride."
"Nick, I..." Justin begins blushing.
"Hold that thought." Nick interrupts. "Let's go somewhere a little more private. We've got lots to talk about."
Justin nods his head and accepts Nick's extended hand and is pulled to his feet. Nick follows on Nick's heels, as he is lead through a side door and moves toward a car. He turns his head to see a crowd of people leaving through another door. He feels the chill in the evening air as he watches their ritual movements of blowing into their cupped hands and rubbing them together before pulling their coats closer to them.
Justin is in Nick's car heading somewhere. Justin is not sure, but eventually they arrive at a coffee house and move silently into a booth in a dimly lit corner. It is only now that Justin realizes that neither blond has said a word since they left the meeting room.
"Thanks," Justin says quietly.
"Not a problem!" Nick responds. "Us teen heartthrobs have to look out for each other."
Nick's smile lights up the room, or at least Justin's corner of it. Nick's blond hair is falling into his eyes and it all Justin can do not to reach out and push it aside. "Nick, um..." Justin begins.
"What was I doing there? Who was I talking about? Will I tell that I saw you?" Nick interrupts, predicting Justin's thoughts. He smiles at the look of amazement on Justin's face, which changes into a nod of agreement as the curly blond blushes. "Justin, the reason I know your questions is that these are the same ones I had flash through my brain when I saw you in the back. In fact, it was all I could do not to run out of the door."
"I know what you mean!" Justin exclaims. "As if it didn't take enough courage to walk into that meeting in the first place, and then to see you! What the hell are you doing here anyway?"
"Don't you remember?" Nick begins. "We were performing at the same concert today that you guys were. We were on way earlier than you though so we never saw you."
"Oh..." Justin says. "We didn't realize you were our opening act today."
"Hey!"
"Relax silly." Justin says laughing. "I was just teasing. But no I didn't remember. In fact, we've been so busy lately that I can barely remember what state I am in, much less which town."
"But I'm nervous as hell here so I am just going to come out with it. Ok?" Nick says boldly and continues when he sees his companion nod. "What I was doing there should be obvious. I have been abused. Sexually. For years. I am also thinking that we have 'who did this to me' in common. It was that sadistic bastard who is our surrogate father. That molesting asshole that comes across as all sweet and caring. That is until he has you alone and in his lap. That bastard that rapes young children telling them that he will hurt them if they tell. That they like it... that they deserve it... that they want it... The bastard that I am talking about is Lou."
Justin's eyes betray his will and shed tears in a torrent. The venom in Nick's voice mingles with his own. He hears Nick describing things that Lou did and knows that he was not alone in his abuse. Lou is a bastard. The worst kind. Smart and manipulative. He had almost completely succeeded in making Justin believe all his lies.
Summoning all his resolve, Justin looks directly into Nick's saddened eyes. "I'm so sorry Nick," he begins. "I had no idea he was doing it to anyone else."
"That fuck!" Nick explodes. "You should ask your bandmates then, because I bet they didn't escape his clutches. I know Brian and Kevin didn't, but that was when they were younger. Maybe he only wants the babies in his groups now. I don't know, and I don't care. He's a bastard for sure."
"Why do you think that he does it?" Justin asks quietly still relieving his own abuse.
"Who knows," Nick says. "Maybe he was raped himself as a child. I really don't care. All I know is that NEVER AGAIN!!!"
Justin can no longer bear his feelings of connection with Nick and moves quickly to him. The two blond youth hug and cling to each other trying to sooth each other's pain. "I wish I could have been there for you." Justin whispers in his ear.
He is greeted with a tight squeeze as Nick buries his face in Justin's neck.
"I have been in this industry too long." Nick sighs.
'Industry!?!' Justin's mind explodes with recognition. Pieces are falling into place and Justin begins to understand his connection with the person whom he had known as Tay. They were not only both in the industry, but they had both had the same rapist. "Oh Nick! If only we had known earlier. Just think what could have happened." Justin says with tears flooding his eyes once again.
"Then Lou would only have had us fucking each other!" Nick smiles.
"How can you make a joke out of it!" Justin exclaims pulling free from Nick's arms.
"What else do I have left to do?" Nick replies. "Every day since I joined this group people have only wanted me for the way I look. Of course there are the fans out there that think they know me. Think they want to marry me. But they really don't know me at all. They may know my favourite colour and what I eat for breakfast, but they don't know my soul. They could care less about my soul. At least Lou was upfront about his rape. When did he begin with you? For me it was at my audition. I had finished and he pulled me aside. He told me that I had everything he was looking for and that if I would submit completely, I would be a star. When I had eagerly and foolishly finished replying that I would do anything to be a star, Lou bent me over his desk and raped my ass. It's the same feeling I have when photographers tell me to look pouty. Or move me in the front of the group saying that I'm the one the fans want to see. They rape me too... they are just more subtle about it."
"Oh Nick," Justin sobs. "I had no idea he was that cruel to you. But you can't let him win."
"I'M NOT!!!" Nick almost screams. "He will never lay a hand on me again! But you see I've also figured out that I don't care. People want me for my looks. Fine! I will use them then too. People will pay whatever I want just because of the way I look. Did you know that Lou had gotten an offer from some Sheik offering a million dollars to be able to have sex with me? 5 million if he could 'deflower me'."
Seeing Justin's eyes widen is disbelief and his head shaking no, Nick continues. "At the time, Lou taunted me with it. Telling me that if I weren't good he would sell me to the highest bidder. But I swear to god, that if I got a similar offer tomorrow... not only would I take him up on the offer, but I would lie and say that he had deflowered me just to get more money out of the sick fuck!"
"Nick... you don't mean that." Justin exclaims. His heart is sinking as he feels his connection crumble.
"Of course I do. Wise up Justin! You think people respect your talent? People want what's in those tight wife-beaters you wear! Hasn't Lou already proven that?"
"But..." Justin tries to protest but is quickly interrupted by Nick.
"Yeah, how could I forget about your butt? Was Lou your first? Not me. To get an agent I had to suck his dick. You know I auditioned for MMC right? I sucked three guys off and let the casting guy fuck me, and I still didn't get the part. You must have been really good!"
"NO! I mean... that didn't happen... I didn't have to... no one asked..."
"Well," Nick sneers. "Lucky you. I guess this industry just saved all its lust for little Nicky."
Justin cannot handle Nick's scorn and buries his head in his hands. He quietly is sobbing and whispering "No".
Nick reaches out and lifts Justin's chin. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't take my anger at others out on you. I wish I hadn't had to learn the lessons that I have, but I have, and I am not going to feel ashamed any longer either." He pulls Justin toward him and tilts his head for a kiss.
Nick's eyes narrow as Justin pulls away. "Nick, wait. I can't do this right now."
"That's a first!" Nick smiles. "Most of the time the boys are trying to get into my pants."
"Oh Nick," Justin says trying not to cry. "I have no idea what I am thinking right now. I need to get my head together. I mean... I only accepted that I am gay today..."
"Sweetheart, who said anything about gay. I just wanted to see if you wanted to fuck... but no harm... there are plenty of others... give me a call though if you change your mind." Nick slips a card into Justin's hand and slips out of the booth.
"Talk to you soon stud." Nick smiles as he turns and walks away.
Justin blushes as Nick catches him watching as Nick's butt glides away. He sheepishly waves and looks down. Tears are falling down his face as he thinks about what Nick has said. 'How could he have changed so much? When we've been chatting over the last few weeks, he has seemed so different. I hope Nick is okay. I'll write him tonight... maybe he was just upset today.'
'I'm even more confused than when I left.' Justin thinks. 'I hope Josh is still awake when I get back to the hotel, I really need him right now.'
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"That was weird." Lance says following JC into his room.
"What do you mean?" Josh asks.
"Well... I just sat in a room with my best friends in the world eating pizza and carrying on like there was nothing different. When in reality, my whole life has changed in one day! It was weird not sharing that with them. That's all."
"Oh... well at least it wasn't anything major" Josh laughs avoiding the blow aimed for his shoulder. "Come on babe, you know I was kidding."
"I know jerk!" Lance exclaims. "God help me I'm in love with a jerk."
Lance winces as the words leave his mouth. 'God help me, how many times had used that cry over the years?' Lance thinks. 'And now, god will abandon me for I have sinned beyond redemption. He will still love me as a sinner, but I have chosen my path and must pay the toll.'
Josh is puzzled by the sudden silence and the look of sadness on his blond love's face. "Scoop?" he asks quietly, "What's wrong? I know you didn't really mean it if that's what you are worried about."
"Sorry Josh," Lance says shaking his head to clear his thoughts. "I got lost in thought there for a minute. Please forgive me."
Josh moves close to Lance and kisses him on the nose. "Nothing to forgive. Anything you want to talk about?"
"Not really," Lance shrugs. "Maybe another time. Tonight I want to enjoy the fact that the second cutest member of NSYNC loves me."
"Second cutest?" JC cries as he pushes Lance back on the bed and hops on his chest.
"Of course." Lance gasps as he is pinned to the bed. "Haven't you read the press releases? They all clearly say that 'Justin is hot'."
"You're going to pay for that one mister!" Josh exclaims as he begins to tickle his helpless boyfriend.
Lance struggles futilely and finally shouts "Uncle!".
"Uncle? Sweetheart, you must be confused. My name is Joshua. Say it with me now. 'Joshua'."
"JOSHUA" Lance gasps. "JOSHUA! Now please stop tickling me!"
"Hmmmm... not quite yet. Say "Josh is hot!"
"Josh is hot! Josh is hot! JOSH IS THE HOTTEST GUY IN THE WORLD!!!" Lance screams.
"Awwww.. hun.. that's so sweet of you to say!" Josh says laughing as he climbs off his boyfriend. He almost makes it to. He is almost free of Lance's entangling limbs when the pillow that has been launched at him collides with the side of his head.
Thrown off balance, Josh is at the mercy of gravity as his boyfriend launches his counterattack. Before Josh can recover he is now pinned to the bed with Lance on his chest. "OOOmmmph..." Josh gasps as the air is forced from his lungs.
"Payback is hell!" Lance cries victoriously as he begins to tickle Josh. Josh squeals as he tries to escape his boyfriend's dancing fingers.
Lance's fingers move from Josh's sides down his torso. Lance is surprised to find that having Josh writhing under him is arousing. Lance's touches begin to be bolder. He moves deftly further down Josh's torso and over his hips. He squeezes the backs of Josh's muscular thighs and finds that his hands have come to rest on Josh's inner thighs. His fingers are surrounding Josh's member, and Lance's eyes are locked onto Josh's. Their desire forces their lips to meet, and Lance's tongue slides past Josh's lips. Lance's passion sweeps him over the edge of caution. He is pressing his palm against Josh's now erect member. Josh's motions are involuntary as he grinds his pelvis into his boyfriend's eager touch.
"Oh Lance, baby!" Josh whispers breathlessly. "You are incredible!"
"I want you." Lance gasps. "I want you completely. I want to feel every part of you. I want you inside me. I need to feel you inside me."
"Oh Lance..." Josh moans. "You feel so great, but I am trying to be strong. We have to wait baby."
"Wait!" Lance exclaims. "I have been waiting and dreaming of this for years.
I cannot wait a moment more. Don't worry about me baby. I am ready for this. I want you."
"Listen Lance." Josh says trying to free himself. "I don't want to hurt you, but I need to wait. This is happening too fast for me. I have never felt this way before. I love you. I respect you. You are not just a conquest for me, and I don't know how to handle that. All I know is that everything in me is telling me to wait."
"Fine!" Lance says coldly as he stands up. "I thought you were putting me off because you were worried about me, but instead it's your own past that is keeping you from me. Maybe I am not ready for this after all. Maybe I am not ready for anything."
Lance begins to move toward the door only to be stopped in his tracks by the sound of sobbing behind him. He attempts to steel his resolve and move forward but his heart wont let him. He turns and sees Josh's face stained with tears. His eyes are pleading with him and searching for meaning in Lance's face. Lance drops to his knees and sobs along with his boyfriend. "Damn! Damn!" Lance swears.
He is suddenly in Josh's arms, and quickly the two singers bodies are joined as one. "I'm so sorry baby," Josh whispers. "I'll do anything you want. Please don't leave me."
Lance cries harder at the sound of the fear in his boyfriend's voice. "Shhhh.. Josh," he coos. "Don't worry baby. I'm not going anywhere. I'm sorry too. I completely overreacted. I have no idea what happened to me. All I know is that I wanted you so badly and felt so rejected when you pushed me away. I'm sorry for what I said."
"Scoop," Josh says. "There is nothing to forgive. I hope you understand that I need some time."
Lance whispers "I do baby. I do understand. It is just not going to be easy. You are way too sexy."
"Right back at you blondie!"
Lance smiles, and his heart begins to beat at a normal pace once again.
"Lance," Josh begins nervously. "Will you.. I mean could you... umm... if you want... damn! Lance I want to be close to you tonight. Will you sleep here with me or will that be too hard or do you not want to?"
"Josh," Lance smiles. "I have never seen you flustered before. You must love me more than I realize. I can't think of anywhere I would rather spend the night than in your arms. Unless of course it is inside that hot ass of yours!"
"Lance!" Josh cries. "You dirty boy!"
"And you love me anyway."
"And I love you always." Josh says.
Having said all that they need to, the two lovers move wordless to the side of the bed and strip off each others clothing. Lance leaves Josh's black boxer-briefs on and simultaneously Josh does the same with Lance's white boxers. The slide into bed together entwined in each other's arms facing each other.
"Goodnight my love." Josh whispers kissing Lance's eyelids.
"Goodnight Josh. I love you."
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Justin is silent as he slips into JC's room. He has done this so often he can navigate the room knowing where each obstacle would be. Not furniture. Shoes. JC always kicks one shoe off at a time as he walks toward bed. Justin has climbed into bed with his friend for years now. Spending the whole night talking of his woes. Laughing and crying. Tonight, Justin needs his friend. He needs his friend to help him understand what he should do.
Justin's thoughts are interrupted as he trips over something on the floor. Feeling it with his foot he realizes it is a shoe. 'That's odd' Justin thinks. He recovers and moves to the side of the bed and reaches out his hand to wake his sleeping friend.
Justin's hand freezes inches away from JC's shoulder as Justin makes out the other body in the dimly lit room. He squints his eyes and gasps out loud when he realizes that there is not somebody beside JC... there is LANCE beside JC. 'What the hell is Lance doing in bed with JC. They look naked! They are in each other's arms.!! WHAT!!!'
Justin's agility fails him as he hurries from the room. One trip and one stubbed toe later, he is in the hallway rushing toward his room. "That asshole!" Justin mutters. "No wonder JC turned me down. It had nothing to do with us being just friends, he just wanted Scoop instead of me."
Justin collapses on his bed and buries his head in his hands. "That fucking bastard!!" He yells into the bedding. "The one person I want to want me, and he doesn't. Maybe Nick is right to use people the way he does."
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The blond singer opens his door fully, without even checking the peephole. Standing clad only in his boxers, he smiles at his late night visitor. "I thought it would be you." Nick says quietly.
Justin moves into Nick's arms and wordlessly turns his mouth into Nick's kiss. Nick reaches behind Justin's head and grabs his hair pulling him into the kiss. Passions well between the two, and Justin slides his hands down Nick's boxers. Nick pulls free and slowly sinks to his knees in front of Justin. In one deft move he had Justin's pants dropped to the floor and his hard member in his throat.
"Oh Nick!" Justin gasps as his head swims. His hands move to Nick's head and his fingers entwine themselves in the blond strands. Justin pulls Nick harder onto his throbbing member. He is forcing himself deeper and deeper into Nick's hungry mouth. Nick enjoys the forced thrusts and sucks harder and more feverously. In moments, Justin can no longer handle the sensations and feels his body swelling toward orgasm. Justin's head flies back, and he screams as he explodes in Nick's mouth.
Nick's experienced tongue doesn't miss a drop as he eagerly swallows Justin's eruption. Nick smiles as he sees the now sweaty youth drop to his knees in exhaustion. "Like that did ya?" Nick asks smiling, his tongue still savouring the taste of Justin's seed.
"Oh Nick!" Justin cries. "I have never felt anything that good in my life!"
"Glad to oblige Justin!" Nick grins. "I've wanted your cock for years!"
"Let me return the favour." Justin smiles, moving toward Nick.
"I have a better idea stud!" Nick exclaims leaping to his feet. "Let me get dressed and then hold on!"
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In less than an hour, Justin has followed Nick's commands and waited patiently as Nick's rental car navigates the streets. His eyes widen slightly as he sees the club that they park beside.
"What is this place?" Justin whispers as they are walking toward the door.
"Fantasy Island" Nick says, "Hottest gay club in the city. We'll come back another night to dance, but I have other plans tonight."
Having said that the two sail into the club, and Justin avoids eye contact with all the men that turn to see who has entered. Staying right behind Nick he follows him as they make their way across the room and step through a doorway into darkness. "This is the playroom." Nick whispers. "You're guaranteed to have a hot time!"
Justin almost runs as the dimly lit room exposes its secrets. There are men everywhere in various states of undress. Some are completely naked and having sex. Some are well on their way. Justin takes one step back, and Nick grabs him by the arm.
"Relax," Nick hisses. "Go with the flow."
Justin swallows nervously and allows himself to be led further into the room.
"Alright men," Nick suddenly announces. "We've got a newbie here tonight. Lets make him comfy."
Justin cannot believe his ears and turns to go. His path is blocked by a solid mass of muscle. The shirtless man's pectorals are as large as Justin's head. The man has a goatee, short brown hair and a pierced nipple.
Justin steps back only to find that another man has come in behind him. His head whips around and he sees another tower of muscle dressed in leather pressing into him from behind. Looking left to right, Justin sees no other means of escape. There are six men around him now and before his vision is completely obscured by the mass of men around him, he gets a glimpse of Nick. Nick is on his back with his legs in the air getting his ass plowed by a guy in a leather jacket and very little else.
He is brought back to his own reality as he feels his shirt being pulled from his body. His pants follow quickly behind and the men laugh as they each begin to pull at his underwear tearing it into small pieces. Soon Justin is standing before these men naked and dazed. Each man moves in on Justin and grabs for a piece of his body. Simultaneously, Justin feels a warm mouth engulf his penis and a wet tongue bury itself in his ass. He is bent forward and his mouth is filled with a huge, uncut penis that makes his jaw ache to accommodate. His hands are guided to two more hard cocks and his arms are moved in a motion to masturbate these erections. The tongue at his ass moves and takes his testicles into the hot, wet mouth. Justin is delirious and lost in the feelings but still notices the blinding pain as another huge cock invades his ass. His screams are silenced by the mass of flesh lodged in his throat.
He endures the onslaught and begins to moan loudly as the man picks up his pace. If it hadn't been for the men holding him, Justin would have been knocked off his feet by the force of the man's thrusts. Tears are pouring down his cheeks and his nose is running. Justin screams a silent scream when he feels the man at his rear tense and begin to explode his seed. Justin is ready to collapse as his own penis erupts into the eager mouth of the man in front of him. His senses are shot, but he swears that he just heard someone say "Next!"
His fears are confirmed as another man enters his ass. He turns his head searching for Nick. "Help" his eyes scream, but Nick's eyes only smile back. "Enjoy!" he hears Nick scream as he is once again blocked from Justin's view.
Well, that's the eighth Chapter. I hope you all enjoy it. Poor Justin got way more than he bargained for. Last update I created a list of all the people who had emailed me about the story letting them know that I had updated. It seemed to be well received so I'll continue to do this. To get added to the list all you have to do is email me. So... Keep the emails coming! :)
Please let me know if you like it so far. Any suggestions you have as to where to go with the storylines. Again my email is n_luvjc@hotmail.com
I want to thank everyone who emailed me his or her reactions to the chapter.
I was truly touched by your kindness. I am a fan of too many stories to list them all, but my tried and true series that I eagerly await are:
Nsync Lance and JC - Kevin... Thank YOU!!! I loved the latest chapter... Search and rescue - Matt... Let's keep JC and Matt happy for a while ok? - and how about updating sometime soon :) Not meant to be - Kyle... You may be done but it remains one of my favorites. Nick and Justin - Keep up the good work! Josh and Just - I loved the wedding!! It made me cry and now gasp they've come out... I can't wait to see how that affects them. Tears in your Eyes - No more chapters Colleen says, but we love her anyway. Great story. Hi Hon, Its Mom - a new found story. Thanks duckie for recommending it! I like it a lot so far.
but those are just a few!