Alright . . . I so planned on writing over Thanksgiving . . . but problems with my computer at home prevented me from doing it :/ Sorry it's taken so long to update guys, college hit me all at once :( . . . With that said, here is once again my list of great stories to read on this site. .. including . . ."Tears in your Eyes", "The Body Switch with Nick Carter", "Last Halloween", "Intimate Stranger", "Josh and Just", "Changes", "Twist and Turns", "Open Arms", "Devotion", "Little White Lies", "This I Promise You", "Porcelain", "Beneath it all", "Dirty Mind Games", "Because I Love You", "Justin's Secrets", and "Any Path" (And it`s many sequels ) . . . These are just a few (And I know I am forgetting some great stories out there . . .);
My big recommendation is "Forgiveness"!! One of the few stories that have made me cry in awhile!
Legal Stuff: If you are reading this, then I hope it's because you are A) Of the right age, and B) Are accepting of other relationship types (That's one way to put it I guess :). If either of these don't apply, I ask that you don't continue reading.
Disclaimer: I don't mean to imply that any celebrity involved in the story is gay in anyway. (But I do have my own speculations about a few . . . I'll keep those to myself :)
Last time in HIYE:
"I was just . . . wondering about Brian." Almost immediately Nick realized that he wasn't ready, wasn't ready to talk about his feelings yet. Surely wasn't ready to possibly reveal anything that Brian was attempting to hide. There'd be other times . . . but Nick was sure this was definitely not it. "Uh, Brian and Kevin, I haven't seen them since we got on the bus. "I think Kevin said something about needing to talk to Brian privately. I have no idea `bout what. Maybe it had something to do with that little stunt you pulled this morning with Kevin's rental." AJ had one of his devilish smirks on and he playfully landed a punch on Nick's shoulder.
Let's hope that's all they're talking about...
~ ~ ~
"Either way, their conversation's gonna be cut short." AJ leapt up from his seat, his smirk now spreading across his face into a broad smile. "Finally, a chance to get some food. I'm starving and there's nothing in the so-called kitchen." His attention had drawn away from his blonde friend and was now directed to the window behind him.
Confused, Nick turned and noticed the bus pulling into some variation of a rest stop. He rolled his eyes, wishing that he shared AJ's greatest worry: an empty stomach.
As the bus pulled to a stop, the door leading to the back compartment swung open, startling the two. Brian stormed out first, followed only seconds later by Kevin. Both were red-faced and Nick knew with a terrible certainty that it had nothing to do with embarrassment. As they approached, Kevin made a grab for Brian`s shoulder, attempting to get his cousin to face him once more. "We're not done yet Brian!"
"Yes we are." As Kevin's hand grazed his arm, missing it's target by only a few inches, Brian turned and answered with a slight shove. Already off balance, Kevin was sent tumbling to the bus floor. Brian either didnt notice or didnt care. He pivoted and continued towards the front compartment, leaving AJ and Nick behind in a state of shock.
The first to break from his trance was AJ. Shaking his head, he walked over to the fallen Backstreet boy and offered out his hand. "Kevin?" The elder teen knocked it away and rose on his own, glaring past AJ to the curtain Brian had just pushed his way through.
"It's really none of your business Alex." As the words left his mouth, Kevin's eyes strayed over to Nick's. The look went unnoticed by AJ, but Nick felt a chill run through his body as he quickly looked away. He fearfully expected Kevin to open his mouth and begin tearing into him, but instead he turned and stormed back through the door he'd emerged from. Nick cringed as it slammed shut, then looked over to AJ.
"I . . . should go check on Brian." As the words tumbled from his mouth, Nick did his best attempt to hide the fear behind them. AJ only offered a slight nod, while his eyes remained transfixed to the door that Kevin had only recently escaped through.
But really, checking on Brian was the last thing Nick wanted to do. More prevalent in his mind were running and hiding. Then he could pretend that this was all perhaps just a really strange dream that he'd awaken from any minute. What had happened may not have been AJ's business, but Nick was realizing that it was most definitely his. Somehow he'd been involved in the cousins' dispute, though he'd yet to discover his exact role in the exchange. The truth had been evident in the way Kevin had stared at him. Though Nick had never been one to use cliched expressions, he sincerely doubted he's still be living if looks did in fact have the power to kill. Earlier today, when he'd attempted to sort out his feelings, he'd never even thought Kevin would be playing a part in the scenario. He already had a somewhat strained relationship with the "father figure" of the band; whatever Brian had fought with Kevin about had not helped that dilemma.
Legs shaking, he clutched the bus seats as he moved down the aisle. When he finally reached the red curtain the served as the barrier to the front of the bus, he hesitated. His hand dangled in mid air, caught between pulling aside the fabric or retreating to the safety of an upholstery seat beside its master. Nick took in a deep breath and tried to reassure himself. Youve nothing to worry about, it was just about the car. That and you know how much Kevin hates to be late. He was probably just angry about how we went on a joyride and kept Mr. Pearlman waiting. I mean, there is no way he could know about us.'
Us?' He stopped as the word entered into his mind. Why was he acting like there was actually anything going on between him and Brian. They'd kissed, what, twice now? Nick didn't consider himself an expert at these types of things, but he knew that it didn't constitute for much of a relationship. It most definitely did not give him the right to start throwing around a word like "us". If he was to face reality, he'd kissed members of his family more times. Course, it could hardly be considered the same thing.' A peck from his mother would never be able to stir the emotions that Nick had felt when Brian's lips had pressed against his own. His mind briefly raced back to the car and the passion that had cursed through his young body at that moment. The kiss had felt so right and it had re-opened an emotion Nick had long ago thought lost - happiness.
Probably the reason why, as his mind came full circle, Nick was so fearful of going through that curtain and confronting Brian. There was a terrible feeling, more like a gut wrenching pain, warning him that reality was about to take a swing at his face. That Loneliness was going to reappear by his side and once again claim Nick as it's best friend and sole companion. He'd only just discovered this happiness and he feared that fate was about to tauntingly pull it once again from his grasp.
Will you knock it off? You cant work yourself up over nothing. Besides, how long have you been standing here, dazing at the curtain?' His hand finally moved forward, fingers closing around the blood red curtain. `Who knows what AJ's thinking at this point? Stop acting like a complete moron and just go make sure Brian's all right.'
~ ~ ~
Howie stepped out of the bus and glanced around the darkened rest stop. Moments ago, his reading had been interrupted as Brian had stormed from the bus. Obviously he was upset, though Howie didn`t have a clue as to why. When traveling, Howie had taken to purposely wearing headphones in an attempt to block out the sounds from the other bus compartments. In retrospect, his realized suspicions should have kicked in earlier during the ride. It was almost unheard of for him to have gone undisturbed for so long. Especially when one was trapped in the same bus as AJ McLain. No matter how deterred he may have been by the previous day's silent treatment, AJ would have eventually succumbed to his need for mischief.
Which probably meant AJ had played apart in the events that had unfolded while Howie had been lost in the world of Hamlet. Though, on second thought, it was out of character for AJ to intentionally upset someone. That and rarely were his pranks directed towards newcomers. He choose to pick on friends, people whose reactions he'd seen before and could trust. Which now left Howie once again with the question: Who or what had upset Brian?
As his eyes grew accustomed to the darkness, the outline of a young man sitting on a bench became more apparent. There was enough light shining on his hair and clothing for Howie to verify that it was in fact his band mate. He made his way over; hands dug deep into his pockets as he tried to formulate a plan to handle this situation. Admittedly, Howie did not know a great deal about Brian. Definitely not enough to be predict how Brian would react during stressful situations. His only real insight was through his cousin, Kevin. If Brian reacted in anyway similar, Howie would be lucky to escape this situation without getting snapped at first. Or', he thought as a particular sour memory sprung to mind, a shiny black eye.'
As he closed the gap between them, Howie was able to more clearly make out his distraught band mate. Brian's face was buried deep within his palms, though absent were any visual signs that would indicate he was crying. It was more an appearance of someone that was lost in thought, though obviously perturbed by the issues they were contemplating.
"Brian?" At the sound of his name, Brian appeared to notice Howie for the first time. His face seemed to flush and he was obviously squinting, most likely in an attempt to obtain Howie's identity. Howie decided to help him along. "It's me Howie. Are you all right? You bolted out of the bus pretty quickly back there." As he waited for a reply, Howie took in Brian's features. Despite the pale light, he could make out the strikingly painful expression that was embedded on the other teen's face.
Brian moved his lips, but all that came out was a choked reply. It was far from audible, but really that wasn't the point. Howie had completely understood the emotion behind the message. He sat down beside Brian and reached out, laying his hand gently upon the other teen's shoulder. Howie once again took on the role he'd been comfortable with since a child, a supporter. The person who was there for another when they had a problem, the listener whom never attempted to interrupt. It didn't matter if they were stranger of friend.
"It's all right, you don't have to say anything." Howie massaged Brian's shoulder, trying his best to let the other know that he was there for him. They weren't the best of friends, but that was a result of Brian being new, not personal choice. All relationships had to start somewhere and Howie realized that this probably would be the building block for the two of them.
They sat there for a few moments, one's hand resting on the other's shoulder, before Brian finally broke the silence. "Ah'm... Ah'm sorry for interrupting your reading. Ah know you wanted to finish that book by the time we got to the next stop." Brian looked up at Howie, his southern drawl have grown heavier with the dragging of his spirits.
"Hey, it's no problem man. The important thing is you tell me what's wrong."
Brian sighed and looked back at the ground. "Ah don't think you'd be able to understand."
"I'm a pretty understanding guy. I've managed to stay friends with AJ and you obviously can tell how insane he is." Brian managed to smile at that, though his gaze didn't return to Howie again.
"Ah... it has a lot to do with my family, Howie. Ah don't know, everything's a jumble in my head right now. When ah finally figure everything out, ah promise that you'll be the first one I turn to for help." He looked back up at Howie, his blue eyes reflecting the pale moon. "Thank you though, for coming out and checking on me. Ah don't think you know how much that means to me."
Howie smiled at that and rose from his spot on the bench. "We were all new at one point Brian. Besides, I know how it can feel to be homesick every now and then. Just don't think that you have to deal with anything on your own, all right?" Brian offered a nod in response, while his body stayed rooted to the bench. "You want to come with me to get something to eat? They seemed to have forgot to stock the tour bus, so this'll probably be our only chance to get food before tomorrow."
"No thanks. Ah think ah just want to stay here for awhile." Brian looked up and offered a small smile. "Thank you anyway, though."
~ ~ ~
As Howie walked towards the rest stop, Nick slowly made his way over to Brian. He'd spent the last few minutes hiding behind a tree, refusing to go over until the other boy had left. Sure, he felt incredibly stupid and he'd mentally been chastising himself the entire time. But fear was a powerful suppressive and Nick was young enough to be unable to fight it. Talking to Brian was going to be hard enough, he'd be damned if he was going to do it in front of someone else.
What to say echoed through his mind, over and over again. He was at loss for words and he was desperate not to come off as a babbling idiot. Finally, something along the lines of a garbled hello stumbled from his lips. Immediately Nick's face turned a deep shade of red and he desperately wished that the darkness would prevent Brian from noticing.
"Nick... I think the two of us need to talk."
~ ~ ~
Yeah, don't kill me :) I am cutting it off there so that I have a definite place to start next chapter :D And with finals almost through, I can write a lot more over break (with a working computer when I lug this one home from college ;)
Send all mail to DQTorpedo :D