Heavenly Bodies

Heavenly Bodies 3

Heavenly Bodies3

We are in a room. We've been locked up after we saw our first Upsetter Alien. I can't get the image out of my head honestly.

"I feel sick," I state all of a sudden.

I grab the nearest garbage can and start throwing up right in front of Lucky. It's embarrassing as hell. Lucky doesn't rub my back or anything like that. He looks kind of disgusted honestly. He gets up and knocks hard on the door.

"It stinks," Lucky says to me before turning to the guards, "You people can't keep us here all night!"

He bangs on the door harder and harder. He kicks it. The guards on the Pioneer don't seem to respond. They aren't like the rest of us. These people were military even before the Earth exploded. I can tell. These weren't new recruits. They were silent and cold. They'd done this for a while...even though they still aren't a day over 30.

"I can't believe it."

I just keep thinking about the Upsetters. I just keep thinking about how the Admiral just showed us the Alien. It was just two hours ago. Since then he'd locked Lucky and I up.

"Can you stop being a little bitch?" Lucky asks me.

"You saw what I saw?" I ask him.

Lucky gets silent. He thinks about it for a while. He likes to act like nothing affects him. Maybe that is his little defense mechanism. I can see right through him though. For a moment I see this little twitch in his eyebrow that shows that he's bothered by seeing a real life Upsetter.

"I told you they were hiding something from us," Lucky tells me, "I knew it. You have to man-up. There's not a lot of us men left, pretty boy. Really. Get it together. Won't last long throwing up over every little thing you see. Nope. We have to stay strong. Well. You have to stay strong."

"I didn't want to see this shit. I didn't want to come here," I respond.

He shrugs.

"What you blaming me?" he asks me, "Listen. You had a choice. I'm not your dad. I'm not your mom. I ain't shit to you. They dead. You hear me? You listening? You make your own decisions now. Don't blame me for shit. You a grown ass man. You hear me?

I don't want to argue with him, "Ok..."

I feel light headed and dizzy. I want to get some rest. It's late in the morning.

"Good," he responds, "Because I don't give a fuck about anyone man. I got to worry about myself. Not trying to be mean or whatever."

He's not letting it go.

"Ok."

"Everyone thinks I'm a dickhead. I'll be that. I just can't be worried about...hey, pretty boy? Pretty boy! Don't pass out on me! PRETTY BOY!"

I get light headed. I see flashes of the Upsetter in my head. My mind just keeps turning and turning. I swear if Lucky isn't there to help me back to my seat I would have passed out. For someone who swears up and down he doesn't care about anyone or anything he was sure fast to help me. He seems like he regrets it immediately after though. He puts me in the chair, rolls his eyes as though I'm the biggest annoyance in the world and returns to slamming on the door.

"We need water! MOTHERFUCKERS! If he dies, I'll tell everyone what I saw. EVERYONE will know that the government knew about the aliens years ago."

That must have gotten their attention because in 10 minutes the door finally opens. I half expect Lucky to charge out of the room and raise hell, but he doesn't. He just stands up against the wall. Military men walk into the room. They look important. Among them is none other than Admiral Lincoln. He's so damn intimidating but right now he isn't even the one I have the most attention on. The last person to walk into the room is Chad.

"Captain Kane, I believe these two are yours," Admiral Lincoln says.

I can see the look on Chad's face. He is clearly embarrassed. I'm too dehydrated from throwing up and staying up for so long that I don't even have the ability to defend my actions right now. I probably look like shit too. This has to be the worst time for Chad to be seeing me. Chad salutes the Admiral in front of his peers at that moment. I can tell that they must have woken him out of his sleep because of us sneaking around the Pioneer.

"They are sir," Chad says.

"He needs some rest," Lucky says, "And I need some answers..."

Chad looks even more embarrassed than ever, "Private you will speak only when you are spoken to!"

Lucky looks annoyed. He mutters some smart shit underneath his breath.

Admiral Lincoln's face gets stone faced. I've never seen a man look so goddam unpleasant. It's almost as though he's had a horrible life forever. There's no other way to describe it. He makes his way to Lucky and stands inches away from him.

"An insubordinate I see," the Admiral states, "Walking around my station demanding answers to questions he couldn't even comprehend. Is that right private?"

Insubordinate doesn't even describe Lucky. He looks the admiral dead in his eyes and I swear Lucky is holding back from punching the Admiral dead in his face.

"You sure you didn't die on that planet Admiral? Your breath smells like a fucking corpse."

A few people's mouths drop open. I'm one of them. Chad's eyes get so wide from embarrassment that I think they are going to pop straight out of his head.

"What's this boy's name?"

"Lawrence Lyons. The crew calls him Lucky, sir," Chad explains.

"You going to be able to control your crew, Captain Kane?" Chad asks, "Or are we going to have to administer Procedure 770."

Chad looks at Lucky and then he looks at me.

"I'll control them.

~

We get released to Chad by the Admiral. I'm still shocked Lucky told this man that his breath smelled like a corpse. Lucky doesn't seem to give a damn. He's walking down the hallway a few feet ahead of us. We are making our way to the service elevators that lead down to the sleeping quarters.

"Chad...I'm sorry," I state.

I feel like shit. I feel like I got him in trouble with his superiors. Matter of fact I know I did. The look on Chad's face says it all.

Chad ignores me. He keeps walking.

"Chad."

"Powell...I thought I told you."

Fuck. I had almost forgotten.

"I'm trying to apologize to you Captain Kane."

"I expected more from you. Instead you are running around with this piece of..."

He stops talking. He's trying to be professional but there is damn near steam running out his ears. He stops short of calling Lucky a piece of shit. Lucky seems to hear it though. He turns around and heads back. Lucky doesn't hesitate to get in Kane's face. The two of them seem like they really have an issue with each other. Lucky did just tell the Admiral and leader of humanity that his breath smelled like a corpse though. I still can't get it out of my head.

"You got a problem you say it to me," Lucky says.

"I do have a problem. You are going to start falling in line, private."

"Oh am I?"

"Yes you are. Whether you like it or not you will start reporting to simulation. You'll be where you are supposed to be from now on. No excuses. I've been very lenient because I felt everyone needed time to grieve for the Earth. Some longer than others. That time of leniency is over."

I feel bad for Chad. I know he was a hard ass but seeing how hard the Admiral was made me understand it a lot more. Admiral Lincoln definitely seemed like he played no games and there is something that I'm worried about. The threat that Lincoln made seemed real. Lucky doesn't seem to recognize any threats though. He's being an all around hard ass.

"You know what?" Lucky says, "I don't really trust authority."

"You don't have to trust me. You just have to follow my orders. All of them. Every time I give them," Chad says.

They stand face to face. I swear I am about to see a brawl right now and honestly I don't know who will win. Chad has more muscles and seems physically stronger but Lucky is far from being skinny and he looks like he could brawl. I wasn't sure who would win between Chad's disciplined strength and Lucky's brawler personality.

I also wasn't quite sure who I wanted to see win in this situation.

"Why is there an Upsetter on this ship? Did we kidnap it?" he asks.

I had to admit I wanted to know as well. How had the government captured the Upsetter? What were they doing with it?

How could they explain this?

"Don't be ridiculous. You have no idea what you're talking about," Chad responds, "You have no idea how deep this rabbit hole goes. You need to stay out of confidential business, Private Lyons. I won't keep warning you."

"See pretty boy," Lucky says turning to me, "They are hiding something. I told you they were..."

Chad doesn't look at me. He doesn't acknowledge me when Lucky does. He keeps eyeing Lucky down ready to detain him any moment. The tension is so thick. I don't know what to say so I just stay out of it.

"Neither of you will discuss what you saw. Lyons you'll start following orders and showing up for simulations. Powell---there won't be any questions about confidential material or else you'll be reported. And you don't want to get reported. The Admiral has an eye on you Private Lyons. Both of you."

Chad is being tough. He's being a little too tough. I understand I followed Lucky down into this situation but I wasn't the one talking back to anyone. That was Lucky. Why was Chad lumping the two of us together as though we were some sort of packaged deal? Was me asking questions really as bad as Lucky's open insubordination?

"Are you threatening me?" I ask Chad.

Chad doesn't look at me. It's almost like he can't look at me. I push Lucky aside and stand right in front of him. Chad looks at my forehead. He was threatening me and he didn't even have the balls to look in my eyes and say it. This is the same guy who was speaking so nicely to me before. Now his boss was in the mix and he was fucking threatening me for him.

"I told you about the government, pretty boy," Lucky says, "They are all foul. We aren't survivors. We are slaves."

I ignore Lucky. I don't have time to be dramatic and push buttons. My feelings are hurt by Chad threatening me right now.

"If we don't fall in line what the fuck are you going to do?" I ask.

Chad hesitates.

"WHAT WILL YOU DO!" I scream.

I'm emotional. Maybe it's because I really like Chad. Maybe it's because I haven't had any sleep. Maybe I'm emotional because I saw that face of the Upsetter. I saw that horrible face that would change everything and Chad was telling me I wasn't allowed to even discuss what I saw. How could I keep something like that to myself? How? The emotions pour over me and I'm crying before I know it.

Chad finally looks me in my eyes.

"Procedure 770."

"What's that?" I ask.

"You'll be sent into space without any form of equipment," Chad explains, "You'll be sent out of an airlock."

~

The next day I wake up at breakfast. Lucky isn't at breakfast. A part of me wonders if he is going to show up even after Chad's threat. Knowing Lucky nothing scares him, but right now everything seems so real. The government was keeping secrets and I was wondering how far they would go to keep them away from all of us. There was definitely more to the story of the Upsetting, but I needed to figure out exactly what it was...somehow.

"Earth to Selah," Katashi states.

I'm at the table with my crew members. We are gathered around the table. All of us are there except Lucky who never eats breakfast with us and Idris who has abandoned us to go pray with the really religious people again.

"There is no such thing as Earth anymore," I tell Katashi.

"You alright?" Anne asks me.

"Anne what happens when someone is sent out an airlock with no equipment?"

I keep thinking about Chad's threat of Procedure 770. I really cared about this guy and he was threatening to send me out of an airlock.

"You want the truth?" Anne asks.

I nod, "Yeah..."

"The first thing you would notice is the lack of air. You wouldn't lose consciousness straight away; it might take up to 15 seconds as your body uses up the remaining oxygen reserves from your bloodstream, and ---if you don't hold your breath---you could perhaps survive for as long as two minutes without permanent injury."

Royce shakes his head, "Jesus, you're so smart Anne."

Anne blushes, "Thanks Royce."

I didn't have time for the flirting, "What happens if you do hold your breath?"

"Why do you care?" Cassie asks.

"I want to know. What happens Anne?"

"The loss of external pressure will cause the gas inside your lungs to expand. You would want to exhale if you were trapped in space. The other things you can't control. Your skin starts to expand and vaporize. You'll probably get sunburn and decompression sickness. Your body will mummify if you are near a star or another source of heat."

"And if you aren't?" I ask.

"Why do you care?" Cassie asks me once again.

"I JUST DO!" I scream.

The others look at me like I've lost my mind. Maybe for a quick second I have.

Anne shrugs, "You'll freeze."

"Ok, shit," Katashi says, "Enough already."

The others look at me. They look concerned. Maybe they have a right to be. Maybe I have a right to be concerned as well. I don't know why Chad telling me this affects me so much. I shouldn't let anyone have this kind of power over me. The thereat was originally made by the Admiral. I should be upset with him. Instead I'm upset with Chad. I'm livid actually. He threatened me with that torturous shit that Anne had just described.

How could he?

"Damn, you're in a bad mood," Cassie says, "You need some pussy, Selah. I'm telling you. Just give me a wink and a nod. I got you. It's nothing."

I know she is trying to cheer me up. Normally it would have worked but I suffering from sleep deprivation and feel betrayed by Chad. I don't even smile back like I usually do to Cassie's little flirtations.

"He doesn't want pussy. He wants some dick," Katashi responds, "What part of gay don't you get?"

"You see these titties?" Cassie says, "I can turn any man straight. Isn't that right Royce?"

"I'm not gay," Royce responds.

Cassie rolls her eyes in disbelief, "Sure you aren't."

Royce looks a little embarrassed. He's a sweet guy. A little too nice. I can tell Cassie's personality can be a little extreme at times.

"He's not gay," Anne defends Royce, "Stop being so vulgar Cassie."

"Damn, relax...I was just trying to cheer up Selah."

Anne jumping to Royce's aid wasn't really surprising to me. I could tell she had a little crush on him to say the least. The two of them look like they would actually make a good couple. They looked like the kind of couple that married young, never argued, had a shitload of kids and died happy. They would be that all American couple if they were to get together. I guess that's the sad part of it all. If we were back on Earth Royce would probably have asked Anne out by now. They probably would have gotten by together now.

I can't help but to think about Chad. If we were back on Earth Chad would have probably asked me out by now. We probably would have been able to date. We probably would have been happy. The truth is though we weren't back on Earth now. Royce and Anne were not going to get married early and be that perfect little couple. Chad was never going to really look at me as his equal.

The world had ended. And so had those little ideas.

"You OK?" Trucker asks handing me an orange.

He's a nice kid. He's way too nice for this situation. I take the orange away from him.

"Thanks man."

"It'll be OK. Captain Kane means well," he says.

It's ironic that Trucker is saying this in front of everyone. Almost immediately I see Katashi and Cassie zoom in on the conversation. It's ironic Trucker says this because I'm sure that Trucker means well himself when he brings up Kane. It's just awkward to bring him up at all.

"Something happened between you and Captain Kane?" Katashi asks.

"Nothing," I respond.

"Captain Kane hates you," Cassie points out, "What is up with that?"

It was the last thing I wanted was to have the members of my squad in my business. Trucker backs up probably thinking that I'm upset with him which I really am not. He joins Johnny who is still sitting at the end of the table as quiet as ever. Sometimes I forget Johnny is even there. Right now I wished I was Johnny. I wished I was just so quiet that people forgot I was even there.

"It does seem like he hates me doesn't it?" I ask.

Cassie smiles, "Sure does. Captain Kane is sexy as fuck. I wish he was strict on me. I wish he would tie me up and give me some spankings."

She fans herself. Anne giggles a little bit. I could imagine that the two girls in the crew would have little crushes on him.

"He is a good looking guy but he needs to lay off Selah," Katashi explains.

Royce shakes his head, "You all are being rough on him. The Captain is fair. He's honest. He's just trying to prepare us for what is out there. Who knows what we will see in the universe?"

Royce just liked to think the most of the world. I've noticed that for the short time that I've known him and interacted with him. He never says much of anything negative about anyone. He's closed his eyes to the fact that the Earth was destroyed for the most part. He likes to live in his bubble sort of like Anne does. It's not just Royce and Anne though. A lot of the survivors on the Pioneer have dealt with the pain by shutting themselves off from it and pushing on with optimism. Maybe it's easier for them to deal that way.

Cassie shakes her head, "Nah. Kane definitely hates Selah."

"Maybe you should talk to him, see what the issue is," Katashi explains, "I don't think there is an HR on the Pioneer but he definitely is a little tough on you. Maybe there is someone you can report him to."

It's Anne who rubs her hand down her stringy hair, "I hate to agree with these two, Selah, but they have a point. We've all noticed it. We talked about it last night."

"You guys been discussing it behind my back?" I ask.

Anne shakes her head, "He just stares at you a lot in class...like there is some sort of problem. What could it be?"

I shake my head.

"There's nothing going on between Captain Kane and I," I respond to the table.

I get up from the table and acknowledge to myself that fact. There was nothing going on with Chad and I...

...And there never would be.

~

A week passes and then two.

Our simulations have intensified to 12 hours a day. Sure enough I can tell that the Pioneer is getting desperate. They never tell us why but there is a feeling in the air. Maybe it is the change in tone on the morning announcements. Maybe it is the fact that we are getting smaller portions to eat at lunch. Maybe it is the fact that a few people have come up feeling sick lately.

Even right now little Trucker is sick. They say it's Pneumonia. Idris thinks it's bullshit. I happen to agree. Who the fuck catches Pneumonia on a fucking space shuttle, anyway? Nah. It wasn't Pneumonia. The fact is we didn't have good doctors. All the good doctors were dead. We had some second rate young guys who probably don't have a medical degree on board.

Shit was getting tough to say the least.

It is easy to tell that there is a stress in the air and we all know it.

"You got my back?" Lucky asks me.

He turns over to my seat.

"I take the right side and you take the left."

Simulations were the best way to relieve some of the tension in the air. Especially the defensive training. All shuttles would be supplied with defensive guns. We are the simulation guns. We are shooting at targets floating on the screen. I'm not surprised when Lucky starts showing up for the simulations. The threat of Procedure 770 was enough to put anyone on the right track. He was as rude and obnoxious as always but he was putting in the work like the rest of us.

The simulation is a meteor shower. We have to shoot all the meteors before they crash into our shuttle and cause system failure. There are only two guns per shuttle. The big gun and the backup automatics.

"Here comes a big one," Lucky tells me.

"Hey guys! Look at this shit. They made it to the last level of the simulation!" Royce yells out.

The crew abandon their job simulations on the simulated shuttle and head over to where Lucky and I are. Two days ago we got a perfect score and they did the same thing. I get real nervous when a crowd forms over my seat but Lucky seems to live for the attention. I watch as a sinister grin is carved out on the side of his face. You would think these obstacles on the screen are what would destroy the Earth by how he's plotting.

"You got me?" Lucky asks me, again.

"I got you, bro. I got you," I assure him.

Lucky takes aim at the small tiny moving object on the screen. It's so small that you need to be really precise on aiming. He shoots the big gun. He fractures a meteor on the screen to smaller pieces. I follow up behind him shooting up the rest of the fractured pieces before they get anywhere near the ship.

"PERFECT score!" Lucky says, "Fuck yes!"

The crew breaks up. They are cheering. I notice Royce coming over and playing with my hair. I even notice Katashi shaking his head in disbelief at what we were able to achieve.

It's Lucky's reaction that makes my day though.

He jumps up and scoops me clean out of my chair, twisting me around like a rag doll. I'm laughing because honestly it's cute. Lucky isn't that guy to be excited about shit like this. He's right. It's the third time we've gotten a perfect score.

Kane walked by a lot. Like now. He sneaks up behind us on the Defense. Lucky is still holding onto me. The look that he gives Lucky and I speak for itself.

I turn to my Captain.

"You two got a perfect score again. You're naturals..."

"They are amazing together," Anne states.

Captain Kane looks at me. I hate the look he gives me. It isn't like he is showing emotion. Maybe that was the problem. He never really showed emotion in public. You would think he didn't care that Lucky was holding me around my waist. You would think he would care more about how everyone was so shocked at the chemistry Lucky and I had in the simulations.

I can't read Kane. It's that look of not knowing what he's really thinking.

I hate how handsome he is. I hate the fact that he can look at me and make me feel guilty even though I know there is nothing I should feel guilty about.

I back away from Lucky, "It's nothing man. Back home I used to play Nintendo after everyone stopped. It's all just aiming with buttons. Old school."

"Well it's good work, you two," Captain Kane says, "This could mean life or death once we get our first mission. Space debris is very dangerous. I think I found my new defense team."

"Wait, I'm working with Lucky officially?" I ask.

I'm surprised by Captain Kane saying this. I'm kind of disappointed actually. Didn't he fucking care about anything?

Lucky grabs me by the waist again. I have to admit the boy has no shame of grabbing me in an intimate way. No one takes him serious because he's laughing the whole time and being obnoxious Lucky. Still, I would hope that Kane did.

"You hear that bro?" Lucky asks, "We are a team now..."

I look over at Kane, "Is this what you want?"

Captain Kane nods, "No point in the two of you learning other skills when you excel at Defense. Keep up the good work. Selah."

~

It's late. Idris has been throwing me shade all day because I think he wanted the Defense job. I'm shocked that it was given to me. I mean I was good at it but Lucky literally has been hogging the simulation from the others since he started. It was the only thing that kept him interested and he refused to let anyone else on it but me. We don't leave until late at night when Cassie comes over to me.

"C`mon, we are headed up to the Empress Deck. It has this amazing view of space. We're all going to hang out and shoot the shit."

The Captain is standing off to the side.

"I'm not in the mood," I state.

"Lucky's going to be there..." Cassie states.

The Captain raises his eyes slightly to acknowledge he heard what Cassie states. Cassie elbows me a little in a very suggestive way.

"I don't know what you're talking about Cassie."

"Yeah. I mean. You're the only one he doesn't curse out in a matter of 10 seconds. As far as I'm concerned, you're the closest to fucking him. You might as well come and see what this chemistry is about."

Cassie has no idea how heavy her words actually are when she says them. She is loud as usual not realizing that Captain Kane is standing off to the side. There is an awkward tension between us at that moment that Cassie isn't aware of. I feel bad. I just need to get Cassie out of the room any way possible.

"I'll be up," I let her know.

Cassie nods. She doesn't think anything of it. A lot of other people have stayed after to see how they are doing with their simulations in Kane's opinion. They must all think I'm doing the same thing.

I wait until everyone leaves to approach him. I don't go too close. He knows I'm there. I can tell. I can tell by how his breathing changes. His eyes shift over to me at that moment. It's a slight change but I can tell that he's affected by my presence somehow.

"You need something?"

"Thanks for putting me with Lucky, Captain Kane. On defense..."

Kane's eyes soften at that moment. He smiles, "We're alone. You don't have to call me Captain Kane."

I sigh a little.

"I've been thinking that I prefer it. It's easier. Keeping things professional. You know?"

"Really? That hug you had with Lucky today was far from professional."

"He doesn't seem to care about being professional..."

"No. I guess he doesn't. Not yet at least. He's seems to enjoy being around you. Which is rare. Lucky seems to have a problem connecting with other people. I'm not sure why. His file doesn't have a lot of information in it. He closes himself off. Not you though. He trusts you. You seem to bring out his productive side."

"Lucky's amazing..."

I say it to see if he will react. He does. He reacts immediately.

"Don't do that..." he responds quickly.

"Don't do what?"

He shakes his head, putting the thought out of his head, "Never mind. Look, I need you to keep an eye on him. Make sure he doesn't tell anyone about the alien onboard the Pioneer. You know I trust you more than anyone else on the crew."

I can't believe he is bringing up the Upsetter that Lucky and I found right now.

"Yeah..." I respond, "Your most valuable player huh?"

"I'm serious. You were amazing today. You get better, every day. You know that? The big gun is easy. It's your job that's hard."

I smile, "Well thank you..."

"I couldn't take my eyes off you," Captain Kane says.

He takes a step towards me. It's that uncomfortable step that he always takes. The step that lets me know that he actually gives a fuck about me as a person and not just what I can do for his shuttle.

"Well I'm glad you were impressed with my work," I respond.

"I'm impressed with you, period," Kane says.

Kane puts his hand on the side of my face, and gives me that look again. It's that look he always gives me when we were alone. It is that look he always gives me when he drops his guard finally and shows me every part of him that I am dying to see.

I push him away and take a step back, "Thank you sir."

"Selah. You're mad at me."

It wasn't a question. It was an observation.

"I'm fine," I tell him.

"No you aren't. You're mad because I partnered you with Lucky. It's clear as day that the boy is flirting with you whether he even realizes it or not. You know and I know. You are upset that even though we both realize this I partnered you with him anyway."

I knew the Captain was more observant than anyone I knew. Captain Kane was smart. He was really smart and that is why I was so confused.

"I'm not mad. I guess I expect it. You want to find a reason for me and Lucky's relationship to develop. That way I might fall for him and leave you alone. Since there is so much chemistry between us..."

"That isn't the case," He responds, "I'd fucking hate that."

"But you partnered me with him anyway," I respond.

I'm not showing any emotion. I'm not showing any of that. I'm so sick of this shit with Kane already. I'm just stating facts. It's Kane who is showing the emotion. When I tell him how I'm observing his actions he is pacing back and forth like a nervous kid trying to find the words to express himself.

"It was good for the crew. It was good for the Pioneer..."

"And that's what is most important to you. The Pioneer. This ship. Making sure you do right by Admiral Lincoln is your priority."

I wasn't on that list. I was nowhere near it.

"Mankind is my priority. One day, this is all going to be over and I can be selfish. We'll have a new planet. We'll have a new home. I can tell Lucky to stay the fuck away from you and be jealous, like you want me to be. I can tell Admiral Lincoln that if he ever threatens you again, I'll kill his ass. I can do all those things for you. One day. Today is not that day. There is so much at stake."

I think about it. Captain Kane is showing me all his cards right now and I am refusing to even play a hand.

"There won't be a one day," I tell Captain Kane.

"What?"

"I'm not waiting for you, Captain. So thanks. Thanks again for teaming me up with Lucky."

I walk out of the room. I can feel Captain Kane's eyes following me. I know a part of him wants to chase me down, but he doesn't. He lets me walk out of the room knowing damn well this would put a huge dent in any chance of us ever being together. He watches me though silently. He's thinking the same thing I was thinking. What if we had met under a different circumstance? What if we had met as different people? Would any of it had made any difference?

They are already drinking when I get upstairs. I'm not sure how long they've been drinking. I got lost catching up to them. The hull that I find them in is a lounge area. It's not the most polished looking place but then again we were on the Pioneer. Nothing aboard this ship really felt like home. You could tell that the engineers didn't put much thought into it when they built it. It was just supposed to be temporary after all.

"Sexy Selah," Katashi states.

Katashi licks his lips when he sees me walking in. I figure he must be drunk when he hands me a shot almost immediately and his body smells like straight up rum. God knows where they got the alcohol from but then again I realize that Lucky is on the ship. If there was an extra stash of alcohol, then it would have come from him. I see him standing off to the side. He had a slick smile on his face. Lucky is handsome as hell.

"We're playing truth or dare. Without the dares," Cassie states.

"Truth game," Anne responds, "Everything you say has to be the truth or you drink."

Anne is sitting next to Royce. The other boys Idris, Jonathan and Trucker are all sprawled out on the long couch. Trucker is still sick but Idris has convinced him to take shots to feel better. Katashi comes to take a seat next to me but I notice someone hovering over us almost immediately. It's Lucky.

"You going to move or you just going to make this moment the most awkward moment ever?" Lucky asks Katashi.

Cassie is giggling to herself. The rest of them don't seem to be big fans of Lucky, but I can tell why they invited him. He brought the alcohol. What I don't understand is why Lucky decided to host this little get-together in the first place.

Katashi isn't much for confrontation so he gets up and moves. Lucky sits next to me. His thigh knocks up against my thigh. He smells like alcohol too. He's breathing with his lips slightly parted and I can smell it on his breath. He hands me a cup with what he's drinking.

"Good work today partner," Lucky states.

"I should have been on the fucking Defense team," Idris responds, "I'm good at guns too..."

"Drink," Cassie orders.

"What. Why?"

"Truth game. Drink. You suck at guns."

Idris looks over at me. The guy does not like me. That much is true. I can see him roll his eyes at me at me as he takes a long sip of alcohol.

"I can teach you, Idris. If you want," I state trying to finally extend the olive branch between us.

"You gonna teach me how to flirt with Captain Kane too?" Idris asks.

"What's he talking about?" Lucky responds.

"We thought Captain Kane treated Selah the worst," Idris starts out, "But after today. I don't know about that. Especially when I heard Captain Kane talking to one of his colleagues about how amazing Selah was. Kind of seems like special treatment if you ask me."

"Kane was talking about me?" I ask.

"Maybe Kane really is gay. I kinda get gay vibe from him," Cassie states.

Idris stares me dead in my eyes, "That's what I'm saying. And why is it fair that Selah gets special treatment because of it?"

"Yo---calm the fuck down," Lucky responds, "Don't start hating on my partner before I beat your ass Idris."

Idris gets up. Idris is back. He's annoyingly big. He's one of those guys who knows he's just as big as everyone else. I'm kind of embarrassed when Lucky hops up to get in his face. I know Lucky enough to know that he won't back away from a confrontation.

I'm used to Idris hating on me. I just ignore it.

"Lucky you are out of line threatening him," Anne states.

"He's always out of line," Katashi adds in.

They were ganging up on Lucky. I figured they would. People were feeling some type of way about him not showing up to any of the simulations until recently. Lucky and Idris are definitely going to come to blows right now. I can feel the tension. Idris just seems angry. Maybe he's angry at me. Maybe he's angry at Captain Kane. Maybe he's angry at Lucky. I'm not sure but I know that he is just looking for something to focus all his anger on.

"If you going to swing, you better not miss...you little bitch," Idris threatens Lucky.

"Oh yeah?" Lucky states.

"Beat his ass Idris," Katashi urges them on.

Luckily Royce is smart enough to help me break this up. He grabs Idris and I grab Lucky. Lucky was seconds away from swinging at Idris. I can see the heat coming off Lucky's skin. His fists are still balled when he takes a step back.

"This isn't over motherfucker," Lucky tells him, "Stop spreading those fucking lies."

"Is it a lie?" Anne asks me.

"What?"

Anne gets up, "Selah, I don't want to be in your business but I think everyone is getting those vibes. Is something going on between you and Captain Kane."

I think about telling them. Maybe it is best not to keep secrets from these people if I want to work with them and actually be a unified crew. I know that Captain Kane is going to hate me for it but at the same time I hate lying.

"No," I state.

I do it to protect Captain Kane more than myself.

Lucky has my back almost immediately, "I know for a fact that it wasn't. Kane wouldn't have threatened your life if there was anything going on between you two."

"Wait...Kane threatened your life?" Royce asks.

The room gets quiet. Lucky let that part slip out of nowhere.

Lucky realizes his mistake almost immediately and takes it back, "Shit. I didn't mean to say anything about that..."

Anne shakes her head, "When did Kane threaten your life? Why would he do something like that?"

"Because of the Upsetters," I state.

Lucky drops his mouth. He looks over at me, "Selah. What the hell are you doing?"

Lucky wouldn't understand. He wouldn't get how I was falling for a man who put his stupid fucking job ahead of me. I resented the Pioneer. I resented Admiral Lincoln. I wanted to be happy and this stupid fucking mission to save humanity was getting away of the very thing that made me human.

Right now I resented all of and right now I just didn't care anymore.

"There is an alien on the ship. They are hiding an Upsetter."

The room gets quiet.

Lucky shakes his head, "No. Selah. No..."

"That's not the worst part," I state, "The worst part is what the Upsetter looks like. The Upsetter looks like me. It looks like you. Within a matter of minutes, the Upsetter changed into 3 different people. The Upsetters are shapeshifters. They can look like any of us."

"Holy shit."

"An Upsetter could be in this room right now. And we wouldn't even know..."

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