Disclaimer: This is a FICTIONAL story describing the love triangle of a teenage boy. If you are not over 18 years of age, or if you find this type of story offensive, or viewing this material is illegal where you are, then refrain from reading it. The story consists of lust, passion, teenage romance, interracial, love and all the rest of the good stuff in that order... Prepare for sin
Comments welcome to sum1plezzCall_911@hotmail.com
They were standing there. They waited patiently for me to answer them on two questions. They wanted to know if I was gay and secondly if I liked Sampson. It would have been so easy for me to lie and say no, but the fact that the question was brought up lingered like poison in my head. T-Boy had brought our problems to attention. I was happy that the only real friend of mine there was Shane and he wasn't the kind to spread rumors. Either way, it was twice as bad because Sampson was there. "What's with the silence?" T-Boy said, with this cutthroat tone, "I figured there was something up with you." I looked at Sampson and he stared back at me. Suddenly he just said, "Tommy, just leave him alone." I had taken a step back. The embarrassment was getting to me. "This guy is a fag, I mean look how he stares at you Sam." Sampson looked at me again. Our eyes connected, just like how they had been doing a thousand times that day. I didn't know what to do. I suddenly just found myself walking off. There was laughter behind me. It was loud and harsh. I felt my eyes watering up. There were tears forming below them. They weren't tears of sadness well a little bit...but mostly I wanted to cry because I was so angry. I was so fucking angry that I was letting T-Boy treat me like that. The tears didn't fully come, but my eyes were red and I could tell because of how much I was rubbing them. I was walking fast and I didn't even notice. I felt so fucking upset. T-Boy had warned me that he was going to tell Sampson that I was gay. I wondered why I didn't listen to him. I had made my way to the door, realizing that no one was coming after me. No one cared enough to stop me from leaving. No one in the world cared about me. Shane probably was in a way disgusted with me, Monica damn sure didn't care and Sampson fuck him. Fuck all of them. I was heading towards the parking lot when someone was coming. I put my face down to hide the tears. "Hey you ok?" the person, who I saw was an old lady said. "I'm fine," I said, but noticed my voice cracking. "You don't sound like it." Old ladies were always so fucking nosy. Why couldn't she just leave me alone? Why did she have to fucking stop me? I stood there for a moment. I wasn't ok. I was pissed. I wouldn't just let that fucking idiot treat me like that. I turned around. I was going to say something to him. I was going to tell everyone why T-Boy was so upset. I was going to tell everyone that if I was considered gay, then he was just as gay as I was. I know Dr. Lopez would have hated the idea of me going back to expose T-Boy. God, she would have hated it! She would of told me to walk away. I just really couldn't though. Not liking someone was one thing, but abusing them was quite another. "Are those boys fighting?" the old lady said, murmuring with a sort of gossipy interest. I looked back. What the hell? I couldn't believe my eyes. Sampson and T-Boy were seriously fighting. They weren't just fighting, but they were physically fighting. A large crowd of people was beginning to form around the two. A majority of the people were children that I had known from school were actually there as well. I watched Shane. He was speechless and Monica looked squeamish. She was squeamish for a good reason. When I looked Sampson had T-Boy against the ticket counter and he was hitting him with punches that went straight into his face. T-Boy was blocking most of them. Sampson had continued punching until he seemed almost out of breath. That was when T-Boy took his chance and lifted Sampson up. I had taken a couple of steps forward trying to break through the crowd at this point. The room seemed to fucking shake as T-Boy slammed Sampson's body against the hard tiled theater floor. I heard chants and some people were going nuts with excitements while other people kept their distance watching in disgust. I saw a fist fly up as Sampson got back to his feet. I couldn't imagine if T-Boy slammed me like that, that I would ever get up. However even though Sampson seemed a bit shaken by the impact of the slam, he just got up and continued to hook away at his brother. T-Boy was trying to grab him again for another slam, but Sampson had caught up to T-Boy's fighting style and tripped the both of them on the floor. There was no slamming if you were already on the floor. I wanted to applaud Sampson for his quick thinking, but all of a sudden, they were at it again. T-Boy seemed to be a dirty fighter. I watched in angst as T-Boy bit Sampson hard on the left shoulder. Sampson squirmed with this sensation that sounded well it sounded like he was having an orgasm. "Hit that motherfucker!" "Get him." "Oh!" The crowd was going crazy. They had come to see a movie and they ended up seeing real life drama. I watched puzzled as I tried to look for a way to break through the crowd. Sampson plied his brother's mouth off of his shoulders and I wasn't clear what happened, but I think he gave T-Boy a head-butt. T-Boy seemed to think that was what Sampson did, because he did it back in return. "I'm calling the cops," I suddenly heard the old lady say. She picked up her big ass granny cell phone (you know the type) and fixed her glasses towards it. This bitch was fucking irritating the shit out of me. I slapped the cell phone out of her hand, suddenly. I didn't know what had come over me. All I knew as that I couldn't let Sampson get into trouble, especially when he was most likely fighting T-Boy on my behalf. The old lady seemed to have a heart attack when I slapped the phone. I was so annoyed with her that I had the right mind to kick her phone across the hall as well, but I knew I had to get Sampson out of there. I broke through the crowd with the only method I knew how. I pushed, shoved and kicked my way through the mob of instigators and observers. Some people hit back, but the way I was moving, it was hard to even notice. I made my way through the center of where most of the action was taking place. Three flashlight security guards were there. One was holding onto Sampson and the other two were actively trying to comprehend T-Boy. I moved quickly and before I could think, I was punching the security guard who was holding a weak, battered and bloody Sampson. I hit him hard. I didn't understand how hard I had hit the guy until I saw him fall down like a featherweight in the ring with Tyson. "Sampson, come on," I said, trying to help him up. "Shit I I can't just " I knew what he was saying. He couldn't just leave T-Boy there to get arrested and get taken all the blame. No matter what though, I just couldn't Sampson get in trouble. In the past, too many people were blamed for the shit that I did. I had to do something now. "Monica, get him out of here. Shane, lets get T-Boy." I basically threw Sampson at Monica. The security guards had been looking around to see who I was talking to when I asked for Shane's help while taking a few steps towards them and a comprehended T-Boy. They had T-Boy pinned to the ground. Fuck I didn't want to help them I didn't want to hit any more innocent people too, but the fact was Sampson couldn't get in trouble no matter what I had to do. I took a couple more steps towards then and noticed Shane lunging from the crowd. Shane and I had beat up many a guy's ass especially when Shane got drunk. Shane was quiet, but he definitely seemed to be the wild type if given reason. He took one of the security guards and tossed them with strength that only a little giant like himself to muster. I found myself taking that opportunity to trip the other security guard, who fell to the floor with a heavy thud. Shane picked T-Boy up over his shoulder, even though I think T-Boy was able to walk, and began to move out towards a back exit. Shane was so damn strong that it was almost unbelievable. "C'mon Syn." "Yeah I'm coming." I looked around. I had to make sure that Sampson was ok first. Neither Monica nor Sampson was in sight. I knew Monica had already left and was probably taking Sampson home. I just prayed that they were safe, but then what right did I have to pray after I just assaulted innocent people. I realized that even though Shane was making his escape with T-Boy and Monica probably already left with Sampson, there was still a crowd. Everyone was still looking and staring at me. I guess Dr. Lopez and I were right. When I walked into a room, everyone seemed to stare "You've been 'Punk'd'!" I declared loudly and immediately finding it funny that in my second or two of fame and that was the only thing I could come up with. "Syn!" I heard Shane calling, but I couldn't see where he was with the crowd and his voice seemed distant which meant he was probably out of the door of the movie theater. "Go!" I knew cops were piling into the place and I knew Shane was going to do what I said even though he hadn't said anything after I told him to leave. I also knew that the only way to make sure this wasn't going to come back to bite Sampson or T-Boy for that matter was if I stayed to take the rap for it. I figured that just in case one of those security guards that Shane and I attacked were seriously injured then they would want to press charges. I'd rather the charges be pressed against me then against Sampson, Shane and even for that matter T-Boy. "Great, the bandwagon is here," I said as someone from the crowd pointed me out as the cause of all the trouble. I had spent the night in jail. At first I was afraid. I felt like I was being taken away to hell or something. I guess with a name like Syn, the feeling just was natural. The police had asked me what happened that night and the names of everyone involved, but I told them I had caught a sudden case of amnesia. They definitely didn't want to hear that shit. The cops were rough as hell with me too, which made me feel even more afraid of them then the fucking guys in the large cell that they threw me in. The cell had the smell of piss, sweat and liquor. I looked around. The overnight cell was full of drunks, thugs and there was even this one transvestite prostitute who seemed to be both a thug and drunk. For some reason, I felt a little too comfortable around all these weird faces. The comfort level was unsettling because it almost felt like I belonged there in that jail or something. No that was crazy, but my inmates in the cell weren't roughhousing me like the cops outside of the cell. "Hey what you in for?" I turned around to see this boy. He sat next to me on the bench. He had this look on his face that was almost like innocent. It was weird because he sort of reminded me of Sampson. He had Sampson's skin tone, but this guy's hair was a little bit longer. Either way, this guy definitely didn't seem like he belonged in any overnight jail cell. I smiled as he sat yeah, I was way too comfortable with these jailbirds. I replied, "I actually beat up this security guard who was fucking with my boyfriend." The way I had said it made him laugh. It had sort of made me laugh a lot too. I mean, I still hadn't really considered myself "gay" and Sampson "definitely" wasn't my boyfriend, but it didn't stop the fact that I referred to him as such and none-the-less told a complete stranger about it. "What you caught them in bed together?" Oh, now I see why he was laughing. "No, no. You got the wrong idea," I explained, "He was fucking 'with' my friend, not fucking him." I fixed the term now to friend. The boy seemed alert to me, but there was this hint sense of drunkenness over him. He laughed a little bit more after he realized how he had mixed up the idea of what I was saying. This time, I didn't laugh with him. I just sort of smiled. Though he was a little on the dumb end, it was nice to have company after sitting in the cell for almost 3 hours. "Where's your boyfriend now?" "Well I had meant to say friend. My friend is probably at home or he would be in this cell with the rest of us. He's probably been calling the station all night to try to get me out, but they said I had to stay overnight. Don't I get a phone call?" "A phone call. Haha. This must be your first time. Bushwick cops turned that into a myth a long ago." Something interested me about what he said. "So ah, this isn't your first time here?" "Nah, I'm a regular." He didn't look like it. He didn't look like someone who got locked up all the time. He had this charming little smile to him. He definitely didn't fit the description. "Why are you in jail?" I asked bluntly. I didn't hesitate to ask because basically I had this superman complex going after one-hitting those security guards back at the cinema. "Lets just say, I help guys out. Just like me and you " "You're a prostitute." "I'm an escort," he quickly fixed. I turned my head a little. I definitely didn't know the difference and as far as I was concerned there were none. It felt weird that he was a male escort for other men, but I didn't stress it. I mean with all the American Gigolo things going on, I knew there had to be some truth behind the male prostitutes. He suddenly broke the silence that had followed after his little 'confession'. "What? You don't want to talk to me anymore? Don't tell me you are one of those people." "What no," I said looking real defensive. Truth was that I was one of those people. In that second of silence, I was completely intimidated. The life that he led kind of scared me. The boy looked around my age, probably a little older and probably a little younger. I kept wondering how he could have possibly become so involved in this life. "My name's Byron." Byron it was actually a nice name. It sounded familiar, but not too familiar. He reached his hand out for me to shake it. I thought about it. After all the people who had judged me and all of the shit that I been through, I was able to almost feel humble to anyone. I couldn't judge him. I shook his hand, "My name's Syn." "Syn? Crazy name. Did your parents like you much?" He laughed as he did it and I guess I wasn't too annoyed since I didn't believe my parents liked me much anyway. "Well, I'll never know, they are dead now," I told him with this clearly meaningless _expression. "Oh um I'm sorry." He looked down and then I quickly added, "Its alright so, Byron. You don't look like the escort type." He smiled, almost like I had given him a compliment. He had this body that was real swimmer like. I could already imagine the ripples in his chest when his shirt wasn't off. I mean; he was very attractive despite the whole escort thing. "A lot of people say that," he said suddenly and then looked me in my eyes, "It's a long story how I became one. I used to be real wealthy and actually real respected. I guess I wanted too much power, but lets just say fate is never supposed to be fucked with. I learned my lesson." "You believe in fate?" He shrugged at let out a deep sigh, "I like to believe that fate kicked my ass and that is the reason why I'm in this dopey ass business now. I could never really know though. How about you?" "I want to believe in it too." "You probably want to get laid don't you?" he questioned and eagerly put on this interesting _expression, "I know that feeling. You think its love and you think its fate but its not. Just settle for fucking him." The way he said it was almost like he was trying to convince himself more then he was trying to convince me. I had never told him anything to make him believe that my wanting to believe in fate had anything to do with falling in love with a guy. Truthfully thinking about Sampson, maybe he was right but my mind wasn't anywhere near there at the moment. I gave him my confused look, "Ok um I guess. "You know what you have to do right? You just have to go up to him looking your best and touch him. If he doesn't respond, keep touching him and keep touching him until he does. Then you got to " "Ok, ok thanks for the advice " Byron definitely was a strange one, but I could understand it because he seemed to have a long and hard past. He definitely didn't want to talk about it because I kept trying to bring it up as the night on. He just kept telling me not to fuck with fate or whatever. He definitely had a lot of advice to give about how to approach a guy too. At one point I had asked him how to approach a straight guy and he told me that if the guy was straight, I would just have to let the straight guy know I was gay and wait for him to approach me. I figured that was a fair enough deal as far as Sampson was concerned. T-Boy had basically told his brother that I was gay. I mean he sort of did. I just had to talk to Sampson alone. I had to let him know some things. I wasn't sure exactly what yet, but I just had to talk to him. The next day came around and I finally got my call. I used it to call Dr. Lopez. It felt nice talking to her. I told Byron about the whole issue with Dr. Lopez and he sort of thought that I was a little crazy for having a shrink. I actually ended up giving Byron Dr. Lopez's number just in case he needed some help. I don't know; I just figured that she could do a lot with a person like him and I was always promoting Dr. Lopez when I got the chance. Dr. Lopez seemed cool and confident when I called her. It was sort of like she was my backbone. She said that Ms. Nicole had already contacted her and they both were on their way to the station to see what the deal was. I had waited in the cell for a while and before I knew it Byron was ready to leave. It was weird because we actually had a good time in jail. I mean; it definitely wasn't as bad as I had heard from all those television shows or what not. "I guess I'll be seeing you around," I said still not quite sure if that would actually be true. "Ugh I'll come visit you sometime." He looked at me with a charming smile and I just laughed back. "You don't even know where I live." "I'll find you, some day!" He was funny. I watched as he walked away. There went my jailhouse buddy. I always made friends with the weirdest people and somehow they always managed to be the friendships that lasted the longest. It wasn't long before Ms. Nicole and Dr. Lopez came. They arrived together, which I understood since Dr. Lopez had went to pick Ms. Nicole up. I was however a little confused on why Sampson hadn't come as well. The thought came to me that maybe he didn't want to be around me after the thing with T-Boy. I mean; he probably was definitely suspecting that I had a crush on him since T-Boy put me in the spotlight yesterday. Maybe he just didn't want to be near me anymore, but then why did he fight T-Boy? I wasn't exactly there when the fight started and there was a chance that the fight had completely nothing to do with me. Too much confusion The good news, however was that the security guards had not been injured and so all the charges were being dropped. I found myself lucky on getting off with only one day in jail. I wanted to talk to the security guards and apologize to them, but Dr. Lopez said that if I wrote a note to them, she would make sure that they got it. With that Dr. Lopez decided to drop Ms. Nicole and I back to the brownstone. Ms. Nicole just smiled the entire time while Dr. Lopez tried to talk to me about what happened. I definitely wasn't saying anything though because Ms. Nicole was right there and I think Dr. Lopez caught up to that sooner or later because she stopped pushing for me to speak. As Dr. Lopez dropped us off and let Ms. Nicole and I out, she quickly said, "Syn, I want you to come see me tomorrow." "Sure, Doc. I'll be there." I wanted to talk to her probably more then she wanted to talk to me. I couldn't wait. I just looked at the brownstone as I began to approach it. I was waiting for Sampson to come out, probably wave or probably just stand there with his hands in his pockets like he normally did. There really wasn't anything though. As soon as we got in the house Ms. Nicole kept asking me if was hungry and when I said no enough times, she let me go. I found my way up the stairs, hoping to see Sampson. The hallway was dark, even though it was broad daylight outside. There was a figure standing by the ends of the corridor, in the place that light couldn't really touch. "Sampson is that you?" It was silence and as I moved closer, the figure came out closer to me. I looked into the eyes of T-Boy well I sort of looked into one eye because the other eye had a patch over it. "Its actually me," T-Boy said, in an unusual calm manner. "Great " I said, with this hopelessness in my voice. If this whole 'getting arrested' thing wasn't a bitch enough, now he was here. "I I wanted to talk to you?" "What?" I asked. "Yeah what?" I heard a voice say. I looked over the corridor and saw Sampson. He emerged from his room. His face didn't look as swollen or what not as T-Boy, but Sampson was limping a lot. I had also immediately noticed how his left arm was a bit stiff, probably because it was the spot that T-Boy had slammed him. Damn this wasn't good. I didn't want anymore drama, but it seemed sort of impossible since we were all in the same space like this. "Actually I wanted to talk to Syn alone," T-Boy with a tone that sounded almost sincere almost "Fuck you man. Syn come here. Don't talk to that cunt." Funny vocabulary. Cunt. "Sampson, I know I been acting weird for a while, but I'm still your brother." "Brother? Oh, you're my brother!" Sampson looked pissed, but he seemed to also sound like he had something he wanted to say to T-Boy for a long time that was getting off my chest. "I am your brother even though there was the adoption thing " Adoption thing? I wanted to butt in and ask what adoption thing, but a part of me knew that anything that I said would probably be followed by me taking advantage of T-Boy's physical state and beating his ass since I most likely couldn't when he was 100%. "Fuck you man! Even after I was adopted, you still didn't treat me like a brother. I've known Syn for a week and I feel closer to him then I ever will to you." "I'm trying man dammit!" T-Boy said, going back into his defensive tone, "I am trying with you and I am trying with Syn but this fag he just " "Fag?" I asked, taking a few steps towards him. I was going to give him the biggest beat down his ass ever received. I was looking at the eye that wasn't swollen with a patch over it. I wondered how he would like to go from 20/20 vision to 20/40 vision just because of one word. "You know if he wanted to beat your ass right now, I would probably help him!" Sampson barked looking outraged, probably sensing my intentions. T-Boy turned to me, "Damn, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry it just keeps slipping I uh " He seemed to be stuck with words. My mouth had dropped open and I still couldn't believe he was calling me a fag after he just seemed to want to 'sincerely' talk to me. I looked at T-Boy and I was pretty sure that he was either confused or just normally fucked up in the head. "You got the nerve to call him a fag after he saved you yesterday?" Sampson asked with a lot the amount of ferocity that would have been expected from me. "Fag?!" I barked. I still couldn't believe he had called me that fucking word. I knew I wasn't making matters any better by getting stuck in that one part of the conversation, but it the word hurt. "I said I was sorry, what the fuck do you want from me?" "I want to see you as embarrassed as he probably was yesterday! You have the nerve to call him a fag after what you wrote about him?" I had suddenly gotten quite. I was sort of getting turned on watching Sampson badger his brother on my behalf even though there was a point where I was almost sure that he'd been wanting to do it for a while, but was just using me as an excuse. The conversation was getting interesting and even though I was beginning to feel bad for T-Boy because Sampson was screaming hard into his face. T-Boy was trying his best to keep his cool. "What did he write about me?" I asked, in a sort of way that reminded me about Monica and T-Boy asking me about how I felt about Sampson. T-Boy all of a sudden looked like he saw a ghost. Even though dark skinned, his complexion seemed to be paling up quickly. His mouth dropped open. He just stared at his brother with this sort of horrible fear. I looked at Sampson and saw the complete menacing smile on his face. What was going on? "Well after you moved in and Tommy started acting strange, I began to wonder what went on between you and him," Sampson told me but all the while staring at T-Boy, "So one day I went to go talk to Tommy, except he wasn't in the room. So I turned to leave and as I left, I tripped on a box. The box tipped over and a whole lot of letters fell out. There must have been 20 " T-Boy stepped forward, "I fucking hate you I swear, I fucking HATE YOU!" Sampson ignored him, " 20 letters. I didn't mean to read them, but I noticed that all of them had 'Syn' labeled on them. So I picked one up. In them he confessed his growing love for you. Some of them even seemed to be recent. The letters weren't just love letters they were almost obsessive." "You fucking bastard!" I watched as Tommy took a lunge forward toward Sampson, but I quickly jumped between them to prevent Sampson from getting hurt or anything. Tommy looked at me and then looked at his fist. He let out the loudest growl I ever heard and ran to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. I just looked at the door. Love letters? T-Boy had been writing me recent love letters? The shit didn't make sense. I mean he more then hated me since I moved into the house. If he had love letters when why come that night that I had told him I was in love with him, he just turned his face to me. Wait if Sampson found those letters "So you knew I had feelings for other boys?" I asked Sampson. "Yeah, I sort of did." It was an awkward moment and then out of thin where, I felt him lean into me. He leaned into me hard and let our bodies hug. This was an actual hug. It wasn't one of those 'buddy' tap-on-the-back type hugs. He hugged me like how you would do a long lost friend or how you would do a lover. "Damn where did that coming from?" He pulled back with the widest stare. I wasn't mad that the hug happened, but I was just caught a little off guard. He seemed happy and extremely almost jubilant about the whole thing. "I just wanted to thank you for yesterday," Sampson explained, a little emotional, "I mean, no one's ever really cared like you care. I didn't remember a lot, but a lot of calls came from people to tell me what you did." "Are you feeling ok after yesterday?" I asked, noticing his left arm, "I thought you did come pick me up from the police station because you were in pain." "No I'm fine. My mother actually wouldn't let me get out of bed to go to the police station since I was sore. You know I would have come for you, right?" "Yeah but you said mother. Before you said adopted. I didn't know you were adopted?" Sampson looked at me and then took me by my hand pulling me into his room. He shut the door behind him, probably because I think Ms. Nicole was prying the halls downstairs (as she usually did trying to be nosy). I definitely didn't mind being in Sampson's room, not at all. "I wanted to tell you about the adoption earlier, but Ma doesn't like me talking about it," Sampson said, a little hesitant, "Ma's husband died a little after Tommy's 10th birthday. She decided to adopt me as a sort of reminder of her husband. Till this day, she says we have the same eyes." "Oh " I didn't know what to say. It wasn't something to say, "I'm sorry" because there was nothing to be sorry about. It wasn't much to say about it. It would explain why Sampson looked completely different from T-Boy, but that was about it. All I knew was that, Ms. Nicole's husband must have had some nice eyes. "Yeah Tommy and I never really acted like brothers," Sampson further explained, "I mean I would rather you as my brother any day of the week." "Uh thanks " He would rather me as his brother. What the hell did he mean by that? I didn't want to be his fucking brother. I wanted to be his lover. I wanted to lean in to him right now and kiss the shit out of him. I wanted this so much that I had been sucking on my lower lip for the past 10 minutes imagining it was Sampson. Why the hell would I want to be his brother? I wouldn't beat up security guards and risk charges pressed on me for my fucking brother. Hey I wasn't a family guy "Yeah, I don't even know how to thank you for what you did yesterday?" I knew a way "Aw, its ok. I mean you did stand up to me against T-Boy." "Well, I kind of had a score to settle with Tommy already but him disrespecting you just sort of topped it all off," Sampson admitted and then he seemed stuck, "And I " "And you what?" "I sort of " There was this great awkwardness. The longer we stood standing there, the more awkward it seemed to becoming. I wasn't sure if we generally didn't have anything else to say or if we did have something to talk about but we just chose not to. "Oh I see I should go." I had to be alone. I turned away and walked away. I know that Sampson had tried to call me back, but I wasn't really paying attention enough to hear what he said. Matter of fact, I was almost sure he had reached out to grab me, but I shook away. I just had to be alone. There was a lot of shit that I had to think about. They said a man wasn't supposed to cry, but I had this feeling all of a sudden. I mean; I wasn't sure if it had to do with T-Boy's exceptionally bad behavior lately or the feeling that I was getting too close to Sampson. I had so many emotions on my mind. "What are you trying to say, Syn?" I was back in Dr. Lopez's office the next day. "I'm just trying to say that maybe I still have an attraction to T-Boy." It was a sensitive issue, but I was sure. It had been 14 hours and 13 minutes since I started to think about T-Boy romantically again. Shane had called me later that night, but just to see if I was alright. He told me that after they had come home, T-Boy seemed worried about me a lot. It had made me think that maybe he didn't hate me as much as I thought. "Is it because you found out about those unsent letters?" "Sort of." The unsent letters really that Sampson had told me about were a lot of the reason. Why would T-Boy right me love letters and never send them? I began to think over the subject. "I think that T-Boy may have been suppressing his feelings. He may have felt hard to express his love for another man. The unsent letters definitely showed that he had feelings for you. However, I am worried " "Why? I mean it's a good thing right? I mean the feelings were mutual then. This means that I don't have misplaces emotions." "Perhaps, but T-Boy may be the one with misplaces emotions." I sighed. The human mind was so complicated. "How is that?" "When you love someone, you let it show. That is a basic principle of relationships. The fact that T-Boy went to so much to conceal it shows that he may be a complicated individual. You may push him away with straight-forwardness. I think instead of approaching him on the situation, give him time to approach you. In fact, try to avoid personal conversation with him for a little while. Give him time to think about some issues. It couldn't hurt." "Ignore him?" "Well yes, for lack of words." "What about Sampson?" "What about him?" "I still feel something for him as well. I mean that can't be good right?" "Which of the two would you rather, just for the sake of knowing?" I paused. That was a hard thought. They were so different. Over a few hours, I had become so enthralled in T-Boy that I almost forgot all of the terrible things he did to me. I couldn't just throw away the feelings that I had for T-Boy in the past, because when we were together (sort of together) it felt so nice. It had felt so good. Sampson however had been there the entire time and he seemed to care about me. "I don't know. Even though it should be Sampson I just don't know." "What made you say that it 'should' be Sampson?" I laid back on the futon. The feelings were so complicated. My thoughts were so mixed that it was hard to kind of put them together. Dr. Lopez made me feel like I just couldn't have a thought, but I had to realize what chain of events made me lead up to this thought. "He protected me against T-Boy. He showed me friendship. He showed me affection but he scares me." "What about him scares you? The fact he might not be gay?" I looked around, "No, not exactly." "What then?" "I just get real shaken up staying around him alone. It's strange. I just get real uncomfortable around him. With T-Boy I was always comfortable when we were on good terms, but with Sampson I am always on edge. We get along fine, but there's a lot of awkwardness. Why do you think that is, Doc?" "Well I dunno Syn. It could be you really don't know Sampson as well as T-Boy. It could also be you are naturally attracted to T-Boy. Have you ever had the thought that maybe your attraction to Sampson was because you were on the rebound of T-Boy? I mean they are brothers " "They are adopted brothers " "Well, growing up together, they would have some kind of similarities in personality, speech and may even have similar smells. Maybe you were just attracted to Sampson because he was so much like T-Boy." "I don't believe you, they are way too different." I was taking it really personal. The fact that I could have just been attracted to Sampson because he reminded me of T-Boy seemed irrational even if it 'did' come from Dr. Lopez. It wasn't just irrational, but it was irritating that Dr. Lopez would even try to implant that suggestion into my mind. "Well, it was just a thought. I just give thoughts from analyzing the situation. You have the choice to choose what you believe. Syn you understand?" "Yes, I understand. I know you are just here to help. I just get sensitive." "Well, this is a sensitive matter, especially among teenagers. Another thought that I had was that perhaps the reason why you are uncomfortable around Sampson was because he was uncomfortable around you." "Too much," I explained suddenly, making an uncomfortable smile, "Maybe we should stick to talking about those unsent letters." Besides there was no way that Sampson was uncomfortable around me. I mean most of the time we did talk to just one another, but lately it was becoming more and more strange. Yesterday I had just walked out on us talking. Things were definitely becoming more and more uncomfortable around the two of us. It was becoming more and more tense around us. I could feel that I was just getting uncomfortable being alone with Sampson. It couldn't have been because he was uncomfortable around me though. Could it?