"Hurry the hell up." Kelly called in a sleepy voice. She continued to slam her fists against the bathroom door, not caring if she wakes everyone up.
Kelly's my annyoing sister. I cared about her as much as she cared about me. 0.
"Wait." was all I managed to get out, trying to stand up. I tried grabbing the sink, but my sweaty hand slipped right off and I fell on the floor. I figured it should hurt really bad, but I was too tired to even feel anything.
I finally got up and looked at my image in the mirror. I shrugged. What I saw made me want to puke. That sure as hell would be nice, too. I spat in the sink, my salvia was hanging down my lower lip. I hated that. It was sticky and strong. I drank a couple of glasses of water. I whiped away the tears on my cheeks. They weren't the usual tears. Not from sadness, or happiness. They just ran down my face and I didn't even notice them most of the time.
I grabbed my face and pulled the skin. So fucking fat...
"Aiden, I swear- " she began again. By the time she finished her line, I opend the door.
"Fucking what?" I said annoyed.
"What's going on, you've been in there for more than half an hour." I could swear she looked worried. I could swear I saw it in her eyes. Kelly. Worried. About me. Me, Aiden, her brother. Yeah right.
"Get lost." I mumbled and pushed her away. I would've pushed her really hard, but my strenght was gone completly. I made my way back to my bedroom and collapsed on the bed. Stupid whore, what does she want? Why is it now suddenly her bussiness?
I felt weak and liked it. Deserved it. I hated the fatness. Even though everyone always told me I'm too skinny, I knew different. I knew what they were trying to do. No one wants to be fat, and they just loved seeing me eat and become just that. They didn't want me to be thin. I feel asleep while planning my next days menu. And where and when I'll get it back out.
"Eat your pancakes, Kelly." mum said, after she pushed the plate closer to her daughter.
"But MUM, I wanna starve and be a skeleton like Aiden too!" she stated and glanced at me. I rolled my eyes and grabbed the pancakes. I took a big spoon of marmelade and chocolate powder and put it on the pancake. I rolled it up and shoved it in my mouth. I ate two big ones and tons of jam in 30 seconds.
"Who's starving, bitch?" I coldly said after I swallowed the last piece.
"Watch your language." my mother exclaimed and broke the stare. "That was very unhealthy." she added. Nothing ever makes her happy. She hates it when I don't eat and then gives me crap about eating too much? And then I'm the one with a problem?
Suddenlly, I felt sick. I just ate two pancakes and a jar of jam. All because of that stupid sister of mine. I hate the feeling of being full. And just the thought of all that food in me, making me fat. I needed to get it out of my system. Now.
"Aiden..." my mum began with her random aww, sweetie.. speach, but thank god I was able to cut her off before she could start.
"I'm just going to the bathroom, is there a problem?"
She mouthed a no and nodded slightly. Kelly was just about to shove fingers in her throat, but didn't when she saw my angry look. I hurried upstairs and locked myself in the bathroom. My hands were shaking, I was scared. I ate too much. Too fucking much.
I grabbed a toothbrush and went down on my knees in front of the toilet. I shoved the brush down my throat as deep as I could, until everything I ate started flying out of my body. The calm water in the toilet was now mixed with pancakes. Or what was left of them. I saw all the jam and chocolate too. It all went out. I felt safe.
I kept going until I saw blood. I spat again to clean my mouth and pulled myself up. The taste of food was still in my mouth, so I quickly cleaned my teeth. I was empty now. Clean.
Although I was happy for a moment, my throat soon started to hurt like a bitch. It was burning. It smelled like breakfast, so I opened the window. There.
I quickly cleaned my face and tried to cool my red cheeks. I took my time, though, with the make up. A nice line with a black eyeliner, but not the retarded ugly goth one. Then just a little bit of pink eye shadow around my eyes. My hair was all messed up, but I managed to fix that pretty fast. My hair was black and red. But mostly black. I loved black. Sometimes, I could just pretend it made me invisible, and it worked too, because no one ever really noticed me. But don't get me wrong, I wasn't emo. I hated emo. I only liked a few screamo bands. I wasn't fucking in love with Sonny Moore and I didn't like his music either.
So now that my make-up was done, my stupid hair perfect, I was ready to go. Yes, I was dressed. I had a black T-shirts and since it was warm outside, I decided to cut my new jeans. The old ones were getting kind of baggy and I never really liked them anyway. They looked horrible on me, but hey, so did everything else. I slapped my legs hard as I was staring at myself in the wall mirror in my mums room. I wasn't suppose to look like this. Not ever. Not in a million years. I was suppose to be pretty. I shrugged and looked away. Fuck that.
I ran downstairs.
"Wait for Kelly." my mum yelled after me. Yeah right, why would I wait for Kelly again?
"Piss off." I yelled back at her and closed the door.
This day is goign to fucking suck. I have this really, really strong feeling this day is going to suck real bad. But then again, I always have this feeling and it's always true. Every day sucks.
"Move your ass fag." I heard right before I was shoved into the locker on my left. The guy and his friends laughed their asses off and ran away.
"Get a life Kellaway!" someone from behind yelled. As I turned around, I saw it was Ashlee. Thank god.
"How are ya Aid?" she asked, chewing her gum and making huge bubbles.
"Great!" I said with obvious sarcasm. She rolled her eyes and pet my head. Maybe I was mean to her sometimes, but I loved her. She was my best friend. My only friend, that is...
"Did you hear? Marshal's queer." she spat and started laughing.
I just glared at her. Colin Marshal gay? I didn't usually give a crap about what she and her cool friends talked about, but... Colin, gay? A person from OUR school gay?
"I know Colin, he's that shy kid from art class." I said and tried not to blush when I remembered how he once caught me staring at him. He was beyond amazing. He was exactly what you would call cute. He had very light blonde hair and the bluest eyes. They were clear and concentrated when he was drawing, he was in his own world. However, that was only when he was drawing. If I saw him on the hall, all I could see was fear. Every little noise made him jump. If I said hello to him, which I never do to anyone, he would just glance at me and quickly move away. People saying he's gay will destroy him...
"Shy isn't really the best word..." Ash said and burst into laughter once more. What's gotten into her?
"Why are you being so mean?" I asked her and she stopped.
"What?"
"You called him a queer and then laughed at him." I pointed out.
"So, I always laugh at people and call them names. You never mind." she said and gave me a puzzled look.
I just nodded and took a book out of my locker. I looked away, because I knew she could see everything in my eyes. She always read me like a book.
"What do you have?" she asked casually.
"Art." I remembered and answered quietly.