Authors Note: Please be informed that this is a work of fiction, and is not true to life in any way, beyond being influenced by a few of my own experiences. Any resemblance to any person, organisation or event, is purely co-incidental and does not imply any ownership or association with that person, organisation or event. I retain full copyright over all this work, including and not limited to any derivatives.
Feedback and comments are always welcome. Please contact me at dracoes@yahoo.com.
Here Be Dragons, Part One
I was eighteen. I remember it well. That was the year everything changed. Changed for the better. It was the year I fell in love. Not puppy love, not passion or lust, but a deeper, truer love, that filled my soul, lifted my heart and brightened the dark places that always seemed to linger. My life changed, and even to this day, I smile to think of it.
Its funny, it seems like so many years ago. It was only four.
"So...?" she pressed, that small, knowing, adorable smile on her face. The face of an angel, of a saint, a spirit on earth, goodness given flesh and sent into my life to protect, love and nurture me. I didn't resent her for it, I loved her deeply. She was one of my oldest and most trusted friends, and I wouldn't be here now if not for her.
"So... nothing." I said, hiding my own smile behind a cup of tea. The cafe was quiet, cool, but with a constant stream of people in and out, even though it was barely half seven in the morning. We both sat at a table near the wall, as usual, waiting for our other friends to arrive. This was our morning ritual. A private chat over breakfast before college.
It was late November, and she pulled her coat about her against the chill, "Danny, that's not fair. Come on, share."
"Lisa, seriously, theres nothing to share."
She gave me a look with her big brown eyes that said she didn't believe a word of it, "Well, you were brave to go anyway, I think. I couldn't party that late and get up for college, too." She said, trying a new tack. I was waiting for it.
"Neither could I to be honest, hun. I left just before midnight."
"Ahh..." she said, as if that explained everything, "So why are you smirking?"
"I'm not smirking!" I objected, grinning.
"Don't play with me spirit, did you speak to him or not?" He was Richard Hart, who I'd been nursing a pseudo-crush on for the last two and a half months since college commenced in September. It was our first year at the Tech, and I'd noticed him the first day. Lisa and a few others were the only ones I'd mentioned him to.
We were all pretty new to each other, a new group formed from the English and Business classes at the college, but we all seemed to get along pretty well. Me and Lisa had known each other for years, and the third to our two was Nicky White, the famous trio who'd known each other since play school. Except for my two cousins, Sarah and Andrew, we'd all only met on that first day.
News of my crush had come about soon after in a moment of drunken stupor and bonding, when, although I was always in control of myself, I'd decided to open up a little more than usual to my new friends to get to know them better. The immediate question was; Am I gay? Honest answer was; I don't know.
"Yeah, I did a little."
Lisa beamed at me. "How'd it go? I want ALL the details."
I sipped my tea, my little smile fixed in place as I remembered. "We just talked, you know? Chatted, small talk. I got to know him a little better, found out about him. He's really nice. Very popular. Sometimes I found it hard to get a word in edge-ways. Everyone seemed to know him."
"Well, he IS fit as fuck."
I arched an eyebrow at her. I'd enjoyed the talk. Nothing had come of it, of course, but as I got to know him, I'd also come to understand a little more about these feelings I had. College was a new start for me, and I was determined to do what I never had in sixth form; Be myself, come out, have fun and be happy. Part of that was exploring what I'd always suspected; That I fancied guys.
Girls, sure. I'd been with two, intimately, and theyd been my girlfriends, too. But it was hard to explain. It didn't fulfil me the way I expected. I'd fancied them, but I always found it slightly disappointing. I don't hate girls, I know they're beautiful and wonderful, but they never seemed to do it for me. And even when I had sex on tap, it never stopped those stray thoughts of certain boys I'd noticed, and how they turned me on too.
Talking to Richard had been my first step to exploring this. I had others planned, but I wanted to take it slow till I found my footing. "Well, at least you approve." Was all I said.
"Of course I do!" she gasped, scandalised, "You're my best friend, honey. I'd never, ever, ever change the way I am with you. Not in a million years. Besides, its not likes its all that different to what we thought! After all, you haven't changed, have you? We just know you a bit better than we did, and understand you a bit better."
"Wow, sounds heavy." I looked up and over my right shoulder to see a tall, well built guy standing there, wrapped in a thick Blues coat, short cropped black hair poking out beneath a woolly blue hat above a boy band members face and blue eyes, bag slung over his shoulder.
"Hi Nicky." I said, nodding to the third member of our little group.
"Hey Nicklatte." Said Lisa, leaning over to give him a one armed hug.
"Whatcha talking about, guys?"
Lisa's eyes narrowed mischeviously as she looked at me, "We're talking about spirits encounter with Richard last night."
"Oh?" Nicky cocked his head, "I didn't know about that?"
"That's because you were busy with some busty bird in the living room, dancing like an idiot. I do wish you'd at least try not to look like you're having a fit. I could teach you, you know." I replied.
Nicky furrowed his brow at me, "God, why didn't I guess you were a fag before? That was such a gay thing to say."
I opened my mouth to snap of a retort, but found myself impersonating a dead fish instead, I was so shocked at what he'd said. I was speechless.
"Wow, you actually stopped him from speaking." Lisa observed wryly.
"I win occasionally." Nicky said nonchalantly. "Seriously though mate; how'd it go?"
"It was fine. We just talked is all."
"Cool. You gonna speak to him again?"
"Maybe. Its not like we swapped phone numbers or anything. Guys...?"
Nickys coffee arrived, and he sipped it as he raised his eyebrows at my broached question. Lisa tilted her head for me to go on.
"So, like, you're both okay with this, then?"
"Dude, look. We're the three musketeers, all for one and one for all. Its not a problem. Its not like we are even just respecting your decisions. We accept it, you've told us, and its not a problem. We don't want you to change who you are for us, and you haven't. You're the same as always, we just know why."
I grinned, "Aren't you worried I might take a liking to your sexy self?"
"Who could blame you? Hehe." He grinned cheekily, "Besides, I've known you like fifteen plus years. I'm sure youd have tried something before now if you were going to. And you know me, I'm a ladies man anyway, like I need to remind you of it all of a sudden. Not like you suddenly became gay or anything, is it?"
"I don't actually know if I am, though. Maybe I'm bi."
They both shrugged, then smiled at each other like idiots, "Well, you'll figure it out." Lisa said. Suddenly, the polyphonic version of a dance song turned on, and the table shuddered slightly as the mobile phone on it vibrated. Lisa picked it up, and in one deft motion, had it at her ear.
"Hey, what's up?" A brief pause, "Cool. We're on our way, just finishing up." Then she clicked it off and turned back to us. "Kelly and Evan are waiting in the cafeteria for us."
After we picked up our bags and thanked Sam, the cafe owner, we were out the door and making our way through the chilly November morning towards the campus. Thankfully, it was situated in the middle of the city -- Burton, for those who might know it -- and so most of the drafts were kept out by the buildings. We walked past the memorial before the college, over the driveway and into the entrance foyer.
The security system beeped as we passed, registering our electronic tags as authorised students, and we went round the corner to the first floor cafeteria where the two art students were waiting for us. They shared our English class, but we three did business, whereas they supplemented it with art.
I smiled when I saw them, sitting on soft sofas by a window. As always, they were casually locked together in a human knot, somehow looking for all the world as if they belonged that way, even if their positions were quite unorthodox. Even in the comparatively short time I'd known them, I could see they were built for each other. New agers at their best, both were artistic, emotional dreamers.
Evan was about my size at an even six foot, with scruffy, dirty blonde hair, deep set brown eyes and a chiselled yet somehow boyish face and body to match. Kelly was about five ten, with long black hair and eyelashes, giving her an almost gothic look. Both were dressed as skater Goths -- torn jeans, heavy belts and boots with studs, punk tshirts, leather jackets and a few piercings. They looked the complete opposite of us three clean cut, tidy and trendy It boys and girls, but we got along like a house on fire.
The fact that they were both confirmed bisexuals also endeared me to them. They were a kind of refuge and source of casual information on a side of myself that I'd only just begun to explore. I figured I needed gay friends too, now, and the fact they theyd informed everyone quite openly and honestly of the fact after wed already been hanging out seemed like a sign from the Gods that I was doing something right.
"Easy." Evan said in his deep, scratchy voice, releasing an arm from around Kelly to stick his thumb up at us.
"Hey lovers." Kelly said faintly -- how she always spoke, like she was kinda high or asleep all the time -- winking at each of us. We parked in chairs around them and dropped our stuff.
"You left early last night man, somethin' up?" Evan asked me flicking his fringe out of his eyes.
"I'm not as hard core as you, E. I needed to sleep."
"That's cool. Saw you talking to Rich. Howd it go?"
I blinked, bemused, as both Nicky and Lisa grinned at me, and I again proceeded to explain what I'd said for the third time. "Cool, cool," Evan responded, nodding. I shook my head a bit in amusement. He was such a dreamer. Kind of surreal, always distracted. I knew he'd heard me and taken in what I said, but I also guessed there were hundreds of other things running about in his head as well.
Kelly smiled at me, too, and I got the incline that I'd suddenly missed something. Like her boyfriend, she was a dreamer, but more of the thoughtful, philosophical kind. Dramatic and insightful, with good ears. She knew practically every bit of news and gossip there was, almost immediately. "I only wondered, man, cause he asked after you after you split."
I blinked, "He did?"
"Yeah man. Something about a team. Someone told him you used to be on the swim team in high school."
"You used to race, didn't you spirit?" Nicky said, "Top three in school, weren't you?"
"Second. I wonder why that interested him?"
"Fit me in speedos? That would interest me." Lisa interjected, smirking. "Looks like you might have a prayer, Danny."
"Hes captain of the college team." Kelly said casually.
I made an `Ohhh...' shape with my mouth, and felt momentarily disappointed. Something about him liking the idea of me in speedos was erotic and was a glimmer of hope for me. Well, at least if he wanted me on the team, it meant at least I'd get a better chance to get to know him. And I'd get to see him in speedos...
My eyes went wide. Had I just thought that? By myself? Lisa cocked an eyebrow at me quizzically, seeing the look on my face. Evan and Nicky hadn't noticed, discussing football. Nicky was a major Blues fan and played amateur Sunday league himself. I'd never got the game myself. I'd only ever gone to support him.
I shook my head at her, saying it was nothing, but I still wondered. I didn't remember having a thought as direct as that before. I guess my outing myself had throw some kind of switch in my head, and I was now allowed to think these things. I was actually pleased. The sooner I accepted it myself, the happier I'd be, and a thought like that was a big step for this newbie who before had only had casual thoughts and interests. I'd never even really fooled around with a guy before. Well, I had once, but that was kinda different.
I checked my watch. Quarter past eight. Forty five minutes till we all had to file into two hours of business strategy. It was Thursday. I still felt rough from the Wednesday night party -- the meeting place for all hard core partiers who were so dedicated theyd party despite early starts -- but tomorrow would be Friday, which meant a bigger party that everyone would come to.
It had become a kind of ritual for us. Party hard each Friday, a different host each week. "Hey, who's turn is it tomorrow?" I asked to their air. Nicky and Evan didn't seem to noticed, but Kelly and Lisa paused to think.
"I think its Beth's, lover." Kelly said.
"Talking about me?" Beth chirped, right on cue. Beth sat down beside Lisa, and I couldn't help but think about how starkly contrasted they were. Lisa, a petite, motherly, direct red head with a dirty streak, and Beth, a tall, busty, curvaious cheerleader with a permanent sunny disposition. Lisa's hair was long and curly, Beths long and straight in a ponytail. Both had the same elfin, graceful irish features, high cheek bones and moist green eyes.
"Just saying we think its your turn tomorrow, hun." I said.
"Oh? Really? Okay, Ill sort something out."
"Well actually," I announced to everyone, drawing Nicky and Evans attention, "I'd like to jump up one and be the host tomorrow, if everyone is cool with that?"
Everyone nodded, Nicky curling his lip, impressed. Lisa grinned at me. I knew what she was thinking. Everyone loved parties at my place. I had a rather... unique... advantage. These other guys hadn't got any idea of that, though.
Sarah and Andrew sat down as I was asking, and both nodded, too. I noticed as well that there was suddenly a strange tension in the air. I exchanged a glance with Evan and Kelly, telling me they felt it too, but everyone else seemed oblivious. Evan flicked his eyes to Sarah, then to Nicky and raised his eyebrows. I looked puzzled, but then I noticed what he was referring to. Sarah was sitting legs crossed towards Nicky, and Nicky was mirroring the gesture, even though his upper body was faced towards Andrew. My eyes narrowed, and I smirked slightly. Body language. A sign of sexual attraction.
My cousins were for obvious reasons off my radar, but now that it was pointed out to me, I saw it. Sarah, my sassy, witty blonde cousin was a stunner, a real man killer. Whereas Lisa and Beth had a kind of elfin, exotic beauty, Sarah was more super model or actress gorgeous. Where the others might be passed over as just other faces, Sarah drew eyes to her face and body. Andrew was her masculine equivalent, a real lady killer and player, a complete lad, car fetish and all, with short, bright blonde hair and pale blue eyes, and those sultry, long eyelashes that girls seemed to find so cute and adorable, masking the player within. She wore dark trousers and top, he wore a rugby top and jeans.
I inclined my head to Evan and Kelly as if to say shrug whatever, and handed my address to them and Beth so they could come over tomorrow. I noticed it as Beth leaned forward to take the paper from my hand. On the notice board behind her, on a simple, unobtrusive piece of A4 paper, was a sign. I couldn't see how I'd missed it before -- perhaps I'd just never been looking at it -- but there was an advert for an LGBT youth group, complete with telephone number, email address, website and contact name, all kitted out in a garish rainbow and black writing.
Trinity Youth Group, Derby, for LGBT Teens ages 16-25. Meeting every Thursday, 7:30pm. Please contact the following number to arrange a meeting.
Arrange a meeting? That struck me as odd almost immediately, but I curiosity had the best of me at that point, so I dropped the number into my mobile and set myself a reminder to call just as I felt a hand touch my shoulder.
I immediately jumped out of my skin and made a half screech of surprise. I was about to turn and berate Nicky for doing that to me again -- he knows how jumpy I get -- when I came face to face with Richard Hart himself. He was squatted down next to me, his face level with mine, and I nearly head butted him in shock. I turned a bright shade of crimson from embarrassment, and checked to see if he'd seen me noting down that number, but he was looking squarely at me, and didn't seem to have noticed.
"Hey buddy." He said, "I missed you last night. I need to have word with you." My heart sang. He wanted to speak to me. "What times your lunch?"
"Err... About one today, I think. Hour and a half."
"Cool. Can I catch you then?"
"Sure. We normally go to the Dog, play pool, have a few drinks. Ill be there."
"Cool. Here, give me your mobile number so I can catch you when I'm finished up."
We exchanged numbers, and I could feel my heart beating faster every second. This guy was perfect. Bleach blonde hair, shaved at the sides but left long on top, parted in the middle like curtains, and with beautiful, sultry mahogany eyes in a face like Duncan Jame's from Blue. Built the same to, my height, muscular and toned. I swallowed hard and averted my eyes as he looked back up, we said our goodbyes, and I turned back to the group. The girls were all looking at me like I was a trapped mouse, Nicky was rolling his eyes, and Andrew and Evan were playing it cool.
"What?" I accused, "He just wanted to speak to me at lunch."
They all gave me that `sure...' look and went back to talking, as I leant back and dreamed of what it could mean that I was actually going to be able to speak to this god without having cornered him at a party. He'd actually come to find me. I'd only just had breakfast, but all of a sudden I was hungry again.