Welcome back to another episode of Holidays In Hell. I'm glad to have heard from so many of you with your comments, concerns, and critiques. I like hearing from my readers and would like to thank everyone one of you, even if you didn't write in. As anyone who has will tell you, I don't bite, in fact, I rather enjoy hearing from you all. Over the years I've been submitting stories to this site, I've become pretty good (online) friends with several interesting people. As a matter of fact, the readers from my last series (Abandoned Blood) and I got pretty close due to all the troubles in my life at the time. In case any of you were wondering, Holidays In Hell was inspired by those very events, not spoil it for any of you in the know. LOL
Though inspired by true events, this story is completely borne of my imagination. Any resemblance to any person, either living or dead, real or fictional, or any event either past or present, is entirely coincidental. This story contains graphic depictions of bodily, psychological, and drug abuses; violence; and sexual acts between two female characters (among others). If any of these things offend your delicate sensibilities, then please leave now, toughen yourself up, then try again. Repeat as many times as needed. This story is copyrighted to me, the author. The author is not responsible for any harms that may befall upon you, either legal, emotional, or physical for reading this story, so consider yourself warned about the ramifications for reading this if you are underage or under your parents' roof.
I must be of a mind to tell you all that this story is not aimed to glorify drug abuse. In fact, it's aim is the exact opposite. I've seen firsthand what's caused people to fall to that level and what drugs can do to a person. I'm writing this story to hopefully bring awareness to a crisis all around us. I'm hoping that maybe after reading this story we can all see the early warning signs and step in to help our friends and loved ones before this happens to them. If you are, or know, someone in crisis and need help, please call or talk to people that can help you.
"Halloween" part two
Jessica sat in her room, her curtains open to let the waning sun shine some light into her life. Her homework was done two hours ago; she just sat at her desk and tried to keep her mind busy. She spent many hours playing chess against herself, she was the only person she knew that has played through nearly every possible combination and outcome. Thanks to her unusual brain she remembered every single one of them. Jess often thought about going to the chess club meetings, but that would mean social interaction in which she had no idea how to engage.
The thought of it, and the yelling from downstairs, was enough of a distraction. She finished mid-game and started pacing. Her whole world revolved around what her brain was, or, more to the point, what it lacked. Unlike most people, her brain lacked the ability to NOT keep the neurons from firing, and so she was in a constant state of thought. She's read every book in the house, school library, public library, every bookstore in town--all at her pace of two thousand words per minute--and could remember every word on every line on every page.
In a perfect world, she would be the perfect model for human intelligence. In a perfect world she would be the cool kid that everyone wanted to be friends with, but this isn't a perfect world. Far from it. It was because of her superior intelligence that she was ridiculed and socially abandoned. If it weren't for her best--or rather, only--friend, Juliane, then she would have no one to look to.
In a perfect world her perfect brain could tell her why her friend kissed her this afternoon. In a perfect world she wouldn't be able to hear her parents downstairs. It didn't matter if she covered her ears and shut her eyes, nothing could take away the pain in her heart from what they said. Instead of blocking it out, she decided to confront it.
Jess walked out of her room and down the stairs. Tears stained her face, her feet were heavy. She didn't think they heard her come down, how could they at that volume?
"This isn't up for debate, Jennifer," her father said sternly. "You're crazy and our daughter is out of touch with reality. What is there not to understand?"
"Damn it, Jonathan! She needs both of us to help her!" Jess paused at the doorway to the kitchen. She sat down against the wall and just listened. "How can you just sit there and drink your problems away?"
Her father let out an eerie, maniacal laugh. "It's so-o-o-o easy. You should try it some time. It makes putting up with all of the crap the two of you put on me sort of... disappear."
"Like what?"
Another maniacal sound. "You really are crazy if you have to ask." Jess heard the whisky decanter pour it's contents into a glass, most likely just one more refill from a scarily long line. "I work my ass off all day to provide for this family, and what do I get in return? The house is always a mess, there's never any food in the fridge, the clothes are never clean, your medications are always mysteriously empty, and, if that wasn't enough, you both refuse to listen to your doctors in the first place." He paused just long enough to gulp down his choice beverage. "So don't you dare ask me again what my problems are, or why I'm so angry all the time."
By that time Jess was standing in the doorway to the dining room. Her father turned to her and just poured another drink. "You know, dad, studies show that alcohol abuse is probably the worst way to deal with your problems. In fact, because of the effects it has on the brain, drinking like that only makes it worse."
Her father swallowed the remainder his drink and started chuckling. "You see this, Jennifer? I'm being lectured by our teenaged daughter. Oh that's rich." He turned back to Jessica and lifted the near-empty container. "You want one?" Jess didn't move. "It helps more than your 'statistics' realize. You know, not twenty minutes ago I was ready to strangle your mother, but now I'm about as relaxed as I've been all day."
Jess gulped. "That's because your yelling and screaming released endorphins and adrenaline all at once into your bloodstream that caused you to--"
"I really don't care, Jess," her father interrupted. "After the day I've had I really do not care. All I care about right now is going into my den, sitting down in my favorite chair with my nice cigar, turning the game on, and smelling the aroma of your mother cooking her loving family a nice dinner." He looked back to his wife and venomously added, "For once."
Jessica moved to get out of his way. As much as it broke her heart to see them fighting like this, she couldn't help but be thankful that this didn't end as a physical altercation. Jonathan is a very imposing man that could easily break every bone in his wife's body. Jennifer wasn't much larger than Jess, in fact she's often heard her relatives joke that they could have been twins.
The teenager waited for her father to disappear around the corner before crossing the threshold. Her mother was in tears. Her clothes and hair were disheveled but other than the usual, she was no worse for the wear. Jennifer looked at her daughter and immediately turned away. "You shouldn't be here right now," her mother said just as she opened the paint-chipped spice cupboard. "Shouldn't you be out with your friends causing mischief or whatever you kids do nowadays?"
"Mom, you know I don't have any friends," Jess said sullenly. It hurt to say it out loud. "And you also know that we don't have anything in the cupboard that isn't stale or moldy." Her mother stopped. She opened the fridge and began foraging through the sparse offerings. "And there isn't anything in there that would qualify as a meal."
"DAMN IT!" Her mother slammed the refrigerator door closed. She pounded her fist against the plastic outer shell, repeating those two words. "Damn it, damn it, damn it!" Jess sat down at the counter and waited. It's been a while since her mom has been this bad. Her heart broke even more to see it. Jennifer wiped the tears from her eyes and said, "Okay, how about we go out to dinner then sweetheart?"
"Mom you know we can't."
She walked over to where Jess was siting and began rummaging through her purse. "We can go to that place we took you for your twelfth birthday."
"Mom..."
"Oh what was that place called?"
"Mom are you okay?"
"Ah damn it all, I guess it'll come to me on the drive over there. It'll be nice to be just the two of us. Just two girls looking to hit the town."
"Mom?"
"Well get ready honey, we can't go out looking like slouches, can we?"
"Mom have you taken your pills today?"
"It'll be fun. We haven't done anything like this in so long."
Jess about lost it. Tears threatened to escape her reddened eyes. "Mom, just stop it, okay? You're scaring me. You're not allowed to drive, and dad won' give you any money to take me anywhere."
"Now don't be a pouty-puss," she said grabbing her cheeks as if she were five. "We can have our girl time. He doesn't need to know."
Jessica didn't know what to say. She felt a piece of her die to watch her mother like this. Her father was in his 'man cave' without a care in the world. It was the same reason she spent so many hours in her books or playing chess; it was a way of escaping her reality. But now, she didn't have that outlet anymore. Her mother was off her medication and her father was completely indifferent to that fact.
The redhead got up and went into her father's safe haven. "Daddy?" The man didn't so much as exhale the smoke from his cigar. "Daddy, can I have some money to get us something to eat?"
Her father pushed the fold-out ottoman back into his recliner and sat up. He gave Jess a stern once over, blowing the smoke from his nose. "So you think that's your responsibility now?" She didn't answer. "You think you're ready to step up and take care of me and your mother?" The man's eyes hardened as he put the cigar back into his mouth.
Jessica's spine went rigid, she looked down at her clasped hands. "That's not what I asked. All I want to do is get some food."
He let out a puff of smoke. "How are you planning on getting there and back? I suppose you want my truck keys too, huh?"
"Well, automated transportation would be a much more suitable option for that long of a trip. It would be a real pain to walk all the way there and carry back what I bought." Jess didn't know what else to say on the matter. And the discerning, condescending glare of her father wasn't helping. "So yes, I would like some money and the keys to your truck to get us some dinner."
The stout man nodded, removing his cigar. "Well alright then." He reached into his pocket, pulled out his wallet and handed his daughter some cash. "Get us something that we can eat immediately. I don't trust your mother around the stove."
The way he said that caused a chill to run up her spine. He actually sounded serious, almost sincere. She can accuse her father of being many things, but sincere and concerned were not on that list. He wasn't so much afraid of her burning the house down as much as he was afraid of burning the house down with him still in it.
Jessica pulled into the Wal-Mart parking lot ten minutes later. Her grip on the steering wheel tightened, her head flopped back against the headrest. Words could not explain how happy she was to be out of the house and how scared of--and for-- her parents she felt. She's read, in fact several times, that life's not fair. After what she just witnessed today, she laughed at it's truth.
The redhead turned off her father's truck and made her way inside. She had to thank her dad for taking her 'lot driving' when she was thirteen otherwise she would have no idea how to drive. Her parents--her father mainly--thought it was too dangerous for her to be driving around with her kind of brain. Jessica surmised that he thought she would get easily distracted and cause an accident. A thought she quickly laid to rest as she approached the deli section.
"What can I do you for?" the man behind the display asked.
Jessica recognized him from the graduating class of last year. He was one of the few people that never bothered her, and she loved him for it. He kinda reminded Jess of herself in some ways, if she wanted to be a 'punked-out bad girl'. She always had a thing for his tattoos and piercings. "I was wondering, James, how long the fried chicken has been sitting out."
James gave her a look. He bent down to read the time stamps on the pieces in the containers. A strand of his long, fair hair fell out of his hairnet. "Well, actually, I'm just about ready to throw it out."
"Oh, well could you make me up a fresh batch for that eight-piece family meal... thing?"
"No problem." He smiled and added, "What would like with as your sides?"
Jessica bounced between the cooler and hot item display. She quickly crunched some numbers in her head before making her decision. "I guess, the mashed potatoes with gravy, cole slaw, and the mustard potato salad. One pound each."
James' face took on a humored shock. "Damn, are you hungry or what?" Jessica could only smile. She didn't want to ruin his day with the truth of his statement. "The chicken's gonna be about eight minutes. Why don't you walk around the store for a little while and check back with me."
"Okay." She smiled again and started walking.
It wasn't often that she was ever allowed to go anywhere, so the chance to stay out of the house for a few extra minutes was nice. She headed off to the first thing that piqued her interest. Electronics, since they moved the book section close to it.
Her family wasn't poor, a more accurate term would be miserly. The only television in the house was in her father's den, as was the DVD and Blu-Ray players, and stereo systems, and computer. Jess was lucky to have an alarm clock in her hovel of a room.
"Jess?" Juliane said from behind her. Jessica turned around and beamed. "Holy crap, you're actually out of the house." The taller brunette picked her friend up into a warm embrace. "How the hell did that happen?"
The nerd's mood fell. "You really don't want to know."
"Another fight?" Ju-Ju surmised. Her friend nodded, refusing to meet her eye. After a long awkward pause, the taller one touched her shoulder and asked, "How bad this time?"
Jessica refused to cry at the thought of it; she's cried enough for one day. "It's gotten pretty bad, Ju-Ju. My mom's been off her pills for I don't know how long and my dad's about out of whiskey." Juliane gulped, she knew exactly what that meant. "He didn't hit her this time, but I'd feel safer if he had."
"How could you say something like that?" Juliane asked in disbelief.
"Because of the way he acted immediately afterwards. He's acting and talking as if he actually cares if mom hurts herself, or me for that matter. He's never done that before. And I don't think it was the booze talking." She looked up to her raven-haired friend with watery eyes. She couldn't believe what she was about to say, but she had to say it to someone and who better than the only person that listens? "Do you think he's going to leave us?"
"Well," Juliane said, taken aback by her quiet friend's unusual bluntness, "In all honesty, do you think you'd be better off?" Jessica's mouth hung open. "I mean that in the best possible way. He's an abusive alcoholic asshole. Sure he makes the money, but he psychologically tortures you and your mom."
Jess scoffed. "Better off? As you just so bluntly pointed out, he makes all of our money. How would mom and I survive if he does decide to leave?"
Juliane shrugged. "I don't know. Government aid, maybe? You know food stamps, housing assistance, and what-not. Then there's child support. At least he'd be gone and then there's one less thing to stress out about. You won't have to worry about the emotional and psychological bullshit he puts you two through. I mean, c'mon, your house is bad enough as it is, how could it get any worse?"
"How would you know that? You've never been to my house."
Juliane smiled. "Honey, it's written all over your face. Plus, I came to that conclusion based on believing that everything you've ever told me about your house was the truth. Are you saying you've been lying to me?"
Again, Jess looked away. "You're right. My home-life sucks." Her black-clad friend giggled a little. "You find this funny? You think all of the bullshit that man puts us through is funny?"
"Of course not," Ju-Ju answered. "But I've never heard you be so blunt before. It makes you seem... regular."
Jessica looked absolutely affronted. She's never heard Juliane speak to her like this before. It hurt to hear what she said. A lot. Without another word she stormed away from her only friend. She pulled her wrist away from her grip and continued walking. She didn't stop until Juliane got in front of her and grabbed her shoulders.
"Honey, what's gotten into you today? I've never seen you like this, and, quite frankly, you're starting to freak me out."
"Yeah, well join the club... I think that's how the expression goes. Do you know what really separated today from all the other days?" she challenged.
"The fact that I kissed you?"
"Well, that, but do you know what my dad did right before their fight ended? He offered me a glass of whiskey. He said it would help relax away the pain." Juliane's eyes doubled in size. "My own father, a grown man, offered his teenaged daughter a glass of whiskey with a very sincere intention. The worse part is, for a second, I believed him and almost took him up on it. I know what the studies all say, I know what our teachers tell us, but after all the shit I've had in my life, I actually believed that all of my problems would go away if I did what he does. I'm that close to losing it, Ju-Ju." Jessica paused to not go flying off the handle. "Why did you kiss me anyway?" She asked in a desperate attempt to change the subject.
Jessica could see the gears in Juliane's head turning. Her friend may be intelligent, nice, and loyal, but it wasn't often that she caught her in a moment of deep thought. She was caught in a moment of deep thought with a slight case of cat-got-her-tongue. "Jess," she started softly, "I like you. I care about you."
"Well, that was blunt," she said shocked for some reason. "That's nice and all to hear, but why?" More tears throated to escape at the hurt tone in her friend's voice. "Ju-Ju, you could have practically anyone you want in that school. You're athletic, you're smart, pretty--beautiful if you wanna hear the truth, funny, loyal, and the best friend anyone could ask for. Why would someone like you possibly like someone like me?"
As soon as the words left her mouth, Jessica felt the guilt pang through her veins. Today, in this moment, was the first time she ever saw a genuine hurt in her friend's eyes. It washed all over her face and made her body shiver.
"Why would you say something like that?" A tear threatened to escape. "Look at you. You're the smartest person in the entire school, if not the world. You're got an adorable face, a great personality--"
"Disorder."
Juliane paused at the interruption. The hurt on her face swelled. "Don't say that; it's not true."
"Yes it is, Juliane," Jess whined. "I'm a living, breathing basket-case--almost by definition. You just got done telling me how screwed up my home life is, and then there are so many things wrong with me that I stopped counting when I was five."
Jess's only friend had tears leaking down her face. "Okay," she said simply. She pulled out her pen and grabbed Jessica's hand. "I was just trying to be your friend, Jess." With a shaky hand, the tall brunette started writing on the short girl's hand. Jessica felt the guilt foraging through her head. "Listen, this is my number. Call me anytime and we can talk about all of your problems."
The short redhead didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry, Ju-Ju. I shouldn't have said that."
"I know." Juliane huffed. She wiped the tears from her eyes as Jess read her palm. "Listen, uh, there's this party that Stephanie is throwing at her house this weekend. It's sort of a Halloween thing. Call me if you want to go."
"But Halloween isn't for another seventeen days, why would she throw a Halloween party so early?"
Ju-Ju laughed a little at her friends scheduling confusion. "Classic Jessica." Jess lifted an eyebrow at that. "She wants us all to be together before the season starts." She broke off eye contact and looked at nothing in particular. Jessica relaxed as the tension broke. "So, yeah, call me if you want to go."
Why would you want me to go, Jess said in her head. Lucky for her that's as far as it got. What came out was, "Sure."
Juliane cracked a smile. She was beaming actually. "Great!" she said louder than she intended. Embarrassed by that, she made to leave. "So, yeah, call me."
Jessica looked at her like a monkey doing a math problem. "You've said that already, twice in fact."
Juliane didn't say anything more. She just turned red and fled the scene. Jessica shook her head and headed back for the deli. She figured that her order would be ready by the time she got there. And she was right.
"James, you're a true gentleman," she said to him after picking it up.
The proud man smiled flirtatiously. "You have no idea."