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'Your father and I are getting a divorce.' My mother interrupted, each of her words piercing through my heart.
As much as I wanted to feel some relief, I couldn't. Everything seemed to happen in a daze and before I knew it I was lying face down on my bed, screaming that my parents should go away. Eventually the knocking stopped and I heard them both retreat down the stairs.
I had been there for a lot of my friends when their parents broke up and every time the utter heart break that they suffered was horrendous. Now it was my turn, and I had no idea how to cope.
I fell asleep quickly, and upon awakening the next morning, I found myself ignoring both of them and going to work without breakfast. Working in a village shop is not the best way to spend one's time however it helped me take my mind off my fucked up life. I kept reminding myself that the handball camp was happening the next day and so it was a brief escape for me, although I had a suspicion I was only going to be running into more trouble there.
At the dinner table that night, I could see how desperate both my parents were to talk to me, and after a few uncomfortable mouthfuls, I decided to let them say what they wanted to say.
'Why?' I asked, making eye contact with both of them.
'Your father has been....seeing...someone else.' My mother was clearly holding back the tears, but I knew that if I started to feel pity for her, I'd end up hating myself even more.
Did my father know I knew? I planned my reaction and decided to just stare at my father.
'Oh. I see. Where will I live?' I questioned both of them.
'We haven't decided yet. Since this is my house, your mother will most likely move out, and then you can decide between us.' My dad said.
Deciding between them was easy, but I couldn't help but feel bad for my mother. I still hated my father for what he had done, but I knew I could never leave him.
Feeling uncomfortable again, I decided to change the topic.
'I have handball camp tomorrow. Dad, can you give me a lift?'
They both looked shocked, but I could tell there was also some relief that I wouldn't be around. My dad looked happy to be needed.
'Yes, yes, of course.' He replied. 'That should probably help to take your mind off things.'
'Hopefully.' I answered, before finishing my meal and leaving to go to my room without another word.
I could tell they had a million more questions they wanted to ask me and a million questions they wanted me to ask them, but I really couldn't be bothered with it all.
I decided to send a text to both Luke and Guy:
'Cya tomorrow :-)'
I hoped the smiley face would give me a head start on pretending to be happy during the camp, and also make it slightly less awkward between us.
After my father had failed to make small talk in the car, I was dropped off at the site and the memories of last year's camp immediately took my mind off the situation at home. I couldn't even bring myself to say goodbye, and did not allow myself to feel guilty for it, even though I knew it would break my dad's heart.
Seeing Guy was a welcome relief. He looked even more attractive than before - he had shorter hair, although it was still a shadowy black colour with bangs that complimented his chiselled face. He was also wearing a bright yellow t-shirt and blue shorts, a nice change to the traditional black jacket (which I had brought with me to give to him). The biggest improvement however, was the cheek to cheek smile spread across his face. He looked absolutely gorgeous, and I honestly felt as if he were the most attractive person in the world.
'Hey buddy!' He cried, and jogged up to me and went straight in for a hug. The relationship we had really made no sense at all. His sweet aroma took over my senses and I could have done him there and then. He was just perfection, in every way.
'Hey Guy' I replied. 'It's really good to see you' I added tentatively, hoping he would remain in a good mood.
'Yeah you too! I haven't heard from you since that party when the police turned up! That was ages ago.'
He didn't mention the kiss, or the fact that if the police hadn't arrived, we would most likely have had sex. Thinking about the party reminded me that I had his jacket, and I spun my bag around and pulled it out.
'Remember this?' I said, handing him the jacket.
'Oh yeah! I totally forgot about that. I would've asked for it back if I'd remembered' He said, looking genuinely surprised to see it.
Seems like it was a good thing he forgot then, otherwise he wouldn't be looking so damn handsome.
'Anyway, I'm actually halfway through a game with some guys - talk about getting into it straight away. The list of cabins and campers is over there, I think it's mostly the same as last year' He said, gesturing towards a large wooden board. 'I see you're in Kali Lodge again, so tonight I'll pay you a visit and we can catch up!' He said, before jogging back to the main courts.
I had a crazy feeling of deja vu, as I remembered the conversation we had at the same time last year, however Guy was much more offish with me, and had no interest in me or my life. How things have changed. Walking over to the board, I couldn't take my eyes off him, and that helped me notice how much happier he seemed. No more swearing at other players or spitting on the ground. He was even helping some of the ones who were struggling. I couldn't help but smile, and remind myself how much better life was here at camp.
As I turned away from Hottie of the Year, my face smacked straight into two strong pecs. I looked up and saw Luke looking down at me - he had grown very quickly!
'Hey Jake - it's just you and me in the cabin this year! See you later.' He said, before walking off into the woods.
The words stunned me. Tonight, Luke and Guy would both be in my cabin. Two guys I had had cut-off sexual experiences with. Two guys who were clearly the most attractive in the camp. I could have fainted there and then. My bubble was slightly burst as I looked at the board and saw that Guy was alone in a cabin with Katie Freeder, the girl who fucked both Guy and Luke at camp last year, as well as Guy again at the party. Surely they would be doing it non-stop, and it made me realise how much I obviously meant to Guy, seeing as he was actively trying to spend time with me.
I also scanned the list to see if Ryan and Connor, the two 13 year olds that I shared with last year, were at camp, but I couldn't find their names at all.
I began the 10 minute walk through the woods to Kali Lodge and began to consider how much I preferred my life away from my family, and away from the unnecessary hassle of having separated parents. I would be 18 in December and the idea of leaving home became more and more attractive to me.
It's definitely true that being alone outside can help relax you and just before I reached my temporary home, I found a large tree stump just hidden from the path, and spread myself out on it.
Bliss.
Before I knew it, I was waking up from a nap. Shit. The sky was a lot darker and I jumped up and hopped along to the cabin. It was empty as I entered and glimpsing at the clock, I saw that I was 15 minutes late for the general assembly, where all of the campers were welcomed to the camp and given instructions on the handball training we would receive. I quickly sprayed some deodorant on and then ran back to main centre, where I rather embarrassingly walked into a room of over 100 other people. Having everyone stare at you is not a nice feeling, but I was comforted by seeing Guy's radiating smile at the front of the hall, his green eyes glistening as they met mine.
After receiving the same instructions as before, Luke and I walked back to our lodge together. We discussed school, sports, and nothing that would suggest we were very close friends. As we got back into our cabin, Luke put the TV on and said he was going to have a shower.
I unpacked most of my stuff and began to think about how my family life was going. I was glad to be away from it all, but at the same time, I felt like I might have been too nasty to my father. His lasting impression of me for the next week will be that I hate him. I don't hate him, but he shouldn't have cheated. But then again, I should have said something. Nobody deserves to go through that.
I changed into my pyjamas and got comfortable on the bed. Luke had said he was going out for a late night handball game, which suited me, as it would just be me and Guy.
Luke came out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel, and quickly reminded me of why I loved him so much in the first place. His body was even more defined than before and it was hard to resist jumping on him as soon as possible. We made small talk whilst he got changed but then he said something that stunned me.
'I want to kiss you.'
I didn't know how to react. I just looked up at his soft and loving face. His strong hands grabbed my cold cheeks and he pulled me towards him. I could not believe what was happening. His red lips met mine and within seconds his warm and sloppy tongue was licking every part of my mouth. And I thought kissing Guy was heaven. This was just out of the world. I forgot about trying to comprehend the situation and just let myself fall into ecstasy. I felt his hands squeeze my thigh and slowly move to my package, which he started to caress.
I heard a banging on the door and our lips repelled as he quickly got changed and ran out the door, passing Guy who was standing there looking shocked.
'What's up with him?' Guy asked, with a lot of confusion.
'We just made out'. The words blurted out of my mouth before I even considered Luke's feelings.
'Wait, what? You made out? So are you guys like a couple now then or what?' Guy looked worried.
'I don't even know.' I replied. I really had no idea. 'As you can tell, I'm gay'. I thought honesty would be for the best.
'Oh, right. Well if it's any consolation, so am I.'
Sorry for the massive delay - I should be writing more often now. Hopefully the next few chapters will be a bit longer also. Please email me your thoughts - alternaterealidad@hotmail.co.uk