How Can You Love Me

Legal disclaimer: this is fiction. Not saying anything about how things are in real life. Don't read if you're not old enough to do so.

Author's notes: this chapter's a bit messy, I know. My computer froze halfway through my writing and I lost most of the original chapter. I hate, hate, hate having to re-write, and it never gets as good as the first version. And I'm too annoyed to really do anything more with this part, so here it is. I'll make it up to you in the next chapter, promise. Next chapter is the last chapter, by the way. And then there is only the epilogue left. This is for Michie who wanted evil!Jim and for Coll who has a very interesting collection of sharp objects. Love and looneytunes from Kat. http://www.angelfire.com/boybands/KathFiction/Main.html

• How Can You Love Me, chapter 21 -

Slowly Joey got to his feet. Step by step he backed away from the door, and Jim. This wasn't real. It couldn't be, he refused to believe it. Not after all this time.

"What do you want, Jim?" he heard his own voice ask, as calm as he could get it.

Jim stepped inside and closed the door behind him. "What kinda question is that? You know what I'm here for. You."

"Why now? Why didn't you do anything sooner?" Taking another step back, Joey could soon feel the wall against his back. "Get a grip," he told himself. "You left him before, you made it through. You can do it again."

Jim shrugged. "Oh I don't know... Maybe I wanted you to think that I was going to let you get away." His face took on a look of glee. "Mostly because I wanted to see the look in your eyes that you have right now."

"I won't let you do it to me again. I left you. Stay away from me."

Inching a little closer, Jim shook his head. "See, I can't do that. I've been following you, Joey, watching you. I know everything about you, and pretty boy. I know about your new house, and all your little plans." He cocked his head. "You actually look kinda cute together. I can almost picture those white picketfences... But then everything has to come to an end sometimes..."

Stepping forward, he was all of a sudden right in front of Joey. A smile lit up Jim's face as he retreated a knife from his jacket. "Remember this? We used to have a lot of fun with this, you and me." He lifted the knife, letting it slide against Joey's throat, nicking the skin here and there. "I knew you would remember," Jim smiled, seeing the dark look of fear in Joey's eyes.

The door opened behind them. "I'm back, babe," Joey could hear JC say. "I got the paper, and..." There was a pause. Joey met JC's eyes. They were big, surprised and scared. "What the hell's going on?"

"Get out of here, Josh," Joey nearly begged, feeling the blade of the knife bite into his skin. "Just get out."

"You leave, and you won't have any boyfriend anymore," Jim said, wiggling the knife to make a few drops of blood trickle down to the collar of Joey's T-shirt. "You got that, pretty boy?"

"Ok," JC said, pushing the door shut behind him. "Just don't hurt him."

Jim chuckled. "Now why would I hurt Joey...?" He let the knife slip a little, and smilingly watched a steady little flow of blood spill over the metal. "We're just going to have some fun..."

"Stop it!" JC said sharply. "I know all about you, Jim, Joey told me everything. There's no way in hell I'm going to let you do all that to him, all over again."

"I see I have to get you out of the way first," Jim said, turning to JC. "And I am going to teach you a little lesson too... For taking something that belongs to me. Moving quickly he pulled JC closer, hooking one arm around his neck. The blade of the knife came to rest against his throat. "See, pretty boy," he whispered, mouth close to JC's ear. "I know what you two have been doing. But I'll bet you doesn't know how to do it right..." He lifted his head and met Joey's eyes. "Isn't that so, Joe? Maybe I should teach pretty boy here a trick or two?"

"Don't you dare to touch him," Joey growled, his back still flat against the wall. "If you hurt him, I swear I will kill you." His normally chocolate brown eyes were almost black against his pale face.

"Who said I was doing anything to him?" Jim chuckled again. "Loose your clothes."

"No!" JC almost screamed, trying to push Jim off him. "Joey, please, don't listen to him...!"

Joey still held Jim's gaze. "If I give you what you want, will you let him go then?"

After a brief look on JC, Jim nodded. "Sure."

Very slowly Joey started to unbutton his shirt, not looking at JC anymore, not hearing the older man's protests. Reaching the last button he let the shirt fall to the floor. Not looking at JC, nor hearing his protests. Then he started to pull the T-shirt he wore underneath free of his jeans.

All JC could think about now was that he had to do something. He needed to stop this right now. He couldn't let Jim hurt his love again. Not now, not ever again. Bending his elbow, he drove it into the soft center of Jim's stomach. He heard a grunt of pain and felt the taller man double up. He knocked JC off his feet with the sudden movement, and Josh let himself fall to the floor.

Rolling quickly out of reach, JC scrambled to his feet again, looking for the door. They would have to get by Jim to get to the door. But hopefully he had gotten him good enough for them to get past.

Then a large, strong hand locked around his neck, forcing his whole body forward. In a short, bizarre moment JC could see his reflection in the big, bronze-framed mirror on the wall, then everything shattered into pain and darkness.

Joey could hear somebody scream JC's name as he watched in terror how his boyfriend's eyes closed and his body went limp. The mirror was broken, blood smeared over the intricate spiderweb of lines.

Pushing himself forward, Joey knew that he had to have been the one calling JC's name, but he felt like moving through a haze. JC was laying still, blood gushing from a cut in his forehead. Everything that mattered now was to make sure he was ok, Joey could care less about anything else.

Until Jim shoved him back. "Not so fast," he spat, clutching his stomach. "I'm not done with you yet..."

Standing in the middle of the floor, Joey for the first time felt another feeling be stronger than the fear. Anger.

"I don't care what the hell you do to me," he said lowly, lifting his face to stare at Jim. "If you had just let Josh go, I probably would have let you do whatever you wanted to me...I might even had come with you. But you just hurt JC. You didn't have to do that."

Jim smiled. "But I wanted to. What are you going to do about it? Start to cry, like you always did?"

Joey smiled back. "No, not really." Deciding to make it now or never he threw himself at Jim, knocking them both to the floor. Only when the light hit something shiny he remembered the knife.

Jim were still holding onto the knife, trying franticlly to wiggle it of from where it was stuck between their bodies. Feeling a sudden burn and a dampness on his chest, Joey instictively moved away, his fingers finding a large gash in his T-shirt. Looking up to see where Jim were, somebody pushed him in the back, sending him spread eagle down into the floor. Knowing what would come next Joey quickly rolled away again, seeing the knife whizz by the face and bite into the floor.

Kicking out he felt the bottom of his shoe connect with something that broke underneath his foot. Rolling away again, Joey soon felt the wall against his body again. His right shoe slid on the floor, leaving behind some kind of sticky trail. Pushing himself to his feet again, Joey followed the red traces back to Jim who was just getting to his feet. His face was a mess, blood was pouring out of his nose, which appared to be broken. Joey felt slightly sick as he realised that he had done that.

There was a smile on Jim's face as he wiped away some blood. "Good!" he chuckled, sticking one finger in his mouth, licking off the blood. "Tastes almost as sweet as you."

The smile vanished and there was a glimmer in Jim's dark eyes that scared Joey more than any weapons could ever do. He had seen it before, but not often. This was were things got from bad to worse, and it usually ended in a lot of pain. He didn't have time to move before Jim attacked again, yet again sending them both to the floor. This time he was on top, pinning Joey to the floor. "Now this is how I remember you," Jim said cheerfully, "did you really think that you could get away from me, Joseph?"

"Why now?" Joey asked again, feeling Jim's fist curl into his hair, forcing his head backwards. "Why like this?"

"Because I wanted to you to feel safe, of course," Jim said, sitting properly up. "So you'd think I would actully let you get away with it." He bent down to whisper in Joey's ear. "So I would get to see that look in your eyes, when you saw me in the door..."

"Fine," Joey groaned. "You saw the look, now what? You think we'll go right back to how it was? Yeah, that'll happen..."

Jim tugged at his hair. "I can't remember you ever being this obstinate, Joe. Guess it must be JC's influence... Which reminds me...I'll get to him too. And oh yes, I'll have to tell Chris that I owe him for that little prank he pulled on me. They never said who they were working for, but I could sense Chris' touch all over it. And he probably had someone else in on it too... See, I know Chris...better than he thinks. And I would also suspect that a certain blond had something to with this too."

Leaning back down, to whisper in Joey's ear, Jim added: "What do you think? Should I just go after Chris first, or perhaps I'll arrange a meeting with that cute little shrink-girlfriend of his? How do you think he'll like that? I'll give her back of course. Eventually... And sweet, innocent Lance... Maybe he won't be so tough if I pay little Justin a call... He sure has grown up good...I bet he tastes almost as good as you. Maybe I'll just ask Lance first, what do you think? Maybe even make him watch?"

"I'll kill you first," Joey answered, pushing Jim away. "I'll kill you before I'll let you do to any of them what you did to me...take that as a promise, Jim."

He could hear a low chickle, and a drawn-out "really?", then cold steel pierced through his shoulder, plunging deep into his body. The hand in his hair moved and his face slammed down into the floor.

One agonizing long minute everything was pain. Pain that was burning, floating through his body and pooled into his shoulder. He could feel the warm, metallic taste of blood in his mouth. Resting his head on his hand, Joey just stayed still for a moment. His right arm felt strangely heavy and numb. His head hurt, would it be so bad just to let everything go, the imposing darkness meant escape from Jim and the pain.

Then a small moan broke through. Lifting his head a little, Joey could see JC moving slightly, his eyelids flutter as he was trying to make himself come to. Joey continued to stare as JC lifted a hand to his face, wiping the blood out of his eyes, not sure if he was thankful that his boyfriend seemed to be ok, or scared because now Jim would remember that they weren't alone anymore.

"Would you look at that." Jim had sat back. "Looks like your pretty, little boyfriend decided to come play with us again. And since you're not being cooperative at all, maybe he will? Maybe I should give him a try, to see what you find so fascinating about his skinny ass."

"No," Joey got out, "don't you touch him... Please, Jim, leave him alone."

"Sorry, can't do that!" his former boyfriend told him, jumping to his feet. "But I'm in a good mood. I'll let you watch."

Walking past Joey he headed for JC, who was still pretty out of it. Using his well arm to push himself up, Joey felt dizzyness crash over him as a tidal wave. He would be no good in a fight, that was all too clear. That meant he had to think of something else. He couldn't let Jim hurt JC. He had to make sure that Jim wouldn't get the chance to get close to JC, or Chris, Allie, Lance, Justin, anyone, ever again.

"He is pretty," Jim stated, patting the tip of the knife against his lower lip. "I think I'll enjoy this. And don't worry, once I am done with him, you and I can have some fun. What do you think about that?" Taking another step towards JC, Joey reached out his hand. Jim was too far away. Resting his hand against the floor, a slight movement made him quickly look up again.

The floor boards yielded as Jim walked over them. For ever step, the large shelf opposite of the bed swayed slightly. Not much, but there was a definte movement. Staring at the shelf Joey moved slowly and steadily until his feet was at the bottom of the shelf.

Jim was still standing in front of JC who was laying underneath the mirror, on the other side of the shelf. Jim was right in front of the shelf. Moving very quietly now, Joey put his foot between the shelf and the wall, wedging his shoe into the small space. The shelf moved, it swayed to and from a bit, then it settled down again. "Come on!" Joey prayed, "just work with me here, ok? Just come on and fall, damn it!" The shelf moved again, allowing him to drive his foot in further behind it.

Jim was still watching JC, his eyes glazing over in a lustful smirk.

The shelf swayed harder. The items in it started to slide forward, the TV making scraping noises as it crept an inch closer to the egde. "I'm going to enjoy this," Jim snickered.

His foot hurt, his arm hurt, he had the mother of all headaches, but Joey knew that he couldn't, wouldn't give up. Kicking the shelf forcefully he felt something snap in his ancle, still he pushed forward. A splintering, shrieking sound made Jim look up. But by then it was too late.

Chris looked at Justin and Lance with an amused expression on his face. "I am so never going shopping with the two of you again. I can't believe you made me go into that store!"

"Oh, stop whining!" Justin told him, "don't think I didn't see you buying some stuff of your own. Or maybe I oughta ask Allie about it when we get back home?"

"Hush," Chris told him, smiling.

Lance shooed them both into the door. "Come on, you two."

"I'll just go over and check for any messages," Chris said, walking over to the counter. The pretty, darkhaired girl smiled at him. "Did your guest leave already, mr. Kirkpatrick?" She blushed slightly as she said his last name.

"Guest?" Chris asked. "What do you mean?"

"There was a man here, a mr. Whitman. He told me that he was an old friend of you, and that he lives in this town. He went upstairs about an hour ago."

Feeling the icy fingers of dread, Chris looked at the receptionnist. "How did he look like? Tall, muscular guy, black hair, dark eyes?"

"Yes," she nodded, "but..." Chris was already running back to the two others.

"What's going on?" Justin asked as he saw the worried look on Chris face. "Anything wrong?"

"I'm not certain," Chris started, taking a deep breath. "But I think Jim is here. Upstairs."

"What?" Justin replied. "Chris, are you sure?"

"The chick over there told me that a tall, dark guy went upstairs an hour ago, supposedly an old friend. If it isn't Jim, then who is it? We don't know anybody out here."

"Nevermind that, we need to get upstairs fast," Lance interrupted. "Let's go, God, I just hope we're not too late!" Pushing the button for the elevators, they all waited in silence, each one occupied with his own worries. The ride up to their floor took most of an eternity.

The hallway was quiet and empty. Lance led them down towards the doors to their suite. Halfway there they all heard a loud crash.

"Ok, that's it," Lance said quietly, his face pale. "Justin, you go call the police, Chris, come with me."