How Do I Say

By Jennifer Lankford

Published on Feb 10, 2002

Gay

Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, wish I did, but I don't, so live, as I do and deal. This story is complete fiction, and if you don't know the definition of fiction, look it up, the definition will surprise you. But if you do know the meaning, good job, you are one step closer to the real world. Problem with this story? Then why the heck are you here in the first place?

Chapter 3

For the next week, I thought nothing other then that guy. I didn't even know his name, didn't know who he was, or where he was from, but suddenly, he became a fixation. I got through with my fencing, and cleared up and walked to my room, and found Luke waiting for me.

"So, I heard from that guy." Luke said, with a cheesy grin on his face.

I dropped the keys before I could open the door. I bent down the pick them up and Luke startled me.

"He tried to convince me that you talked to him, I told him he was wrong because I knew you didn't talk for anything, that you would probably die in silence.

I gave him an angry stare, and put the key in the door and opened it. I tried to slam the door on Luke, but he used his foot to stop it and let it rebound against the wall. I looked at the clock, it was almost time for my appointment, so I nodded to the bathroom and walked in, with Luke following. While I took a shower, Luke told me more about the guy I met, his name was Lance, and he was with some famous pop group. I knew the group, wasn't that hard to figure out, but, with Luke being straight and all, he didn't know.

I got out, and dried off, and Luke hopped off the counter.

"So..." He started. "You want to meet with him?"

I thought about it, then nodded.

"Are you ever going to talk?"

I thought about that too, scratching my head and putting a serious look on my face. Then I nodded and waved my hand in front of me.

"Later on?" Luke asked, to see if he got it right.

I nodded and grinned.

"Cool, tell me when you do." Luke said and smiled.

I gave him the `God you're dumb' look and slammed his head into the door frame. I sighed and walked into the bedroom to get dressed.

"Come on, I'm not letting you get out of this. I'm not telling you anything more about Lance, like where to meet him and stuff if you don't say something to me." Luke stood and watched me dressed. Any other guy I would think was checking me out, but this was Luke. I turned around after getting a fresh pair of boxers and jeans on, leaving the jeans open. I gave Luke another dumb look and opened my mouth.

"Now if I started talking to you, you wouldn't shut up about it, why should I?"

Luke didn't catch it. "Well if you did, at least I'd know what you're voice sounds like!" Luke was mad, and he hadn't realized that I'd said a complete sentence to him. I crossed my arms over my bare chest and shifted my weight to one side.

A look came across Luke's face like he had struck gold. "Hey! You just talked!"

I rolled my eyes and went through my clothes to find a suitable shirt. I waved at him, telling him to give me more info on Lance.

"Okay, I got ya, at the Internet Cafe downtown, at 8:00 tonight. He'll be there, you'll see him." Luke said and laid down on my bed.

I put on my shirt and turned to Luke. I crawled on top of him, in a push up position and grinned. "Thanks buddy." I said in the stupidest voice I could muster and kissed his forehead. I got off him and headed for the door. I waved and closed it behind me.

~ The Appointment

"Luke tells me you spoke today." The doctor asked.

I shrugged, picking lit off my shirt.

"Why?"

I shrugged again.

"Why don't you talk to me?"

I snorted and looked at the clock. This doctor always thought I'd speak, 10 minutes left.

"What do I do to get you to talk." He asked. He really was a nice guy, and we would get along, sooner or later. I knew he knew sign language too.

I signed out "Trust me, and let me have some space."

He looked shocked, like he didn't know I knew sign language

"Why?" He asked.

"Why not?" I signed. I got up and waved, before shutting the door behind me.

It was now 6 pm, and I was getting hungry. I drove to McDonalds and they took my order, then I went to my favorite spot, a quiet park, and sat at a picnic table and ate. Time passes quickly for me, I don't know why, but it does. The next time I looked down at my watch, it was quarter to 8, and I stood up, gathered my trash, and threw it away, before getting in my car and leaving. I pulled up to the cafe, and parked. Breathing deep before actually getting out. I checked my hair in the rearview mirror, and opened the door, being careful not to kill myself when I closed it. I had done that on a date once, I was so nervous, I slammed my finger in the car door. I opened the cafe door, and stepped inside, looking for Lance. I spotted him in the corner, reading a magazine and sipping a cup of coffee. I walked over the table and stood above it, putting my hands in my pockets, and balancing on the balls of my feet, waiting for him to recognize me.

After a while I kicked the table with my foot, and he finally looked up. And when he did, I almost lost my balance. I smiled and sat down across from him, knocking off his feet as I sat down.

"Hey," Lance said and put the magazine down.

I waved. Lance looked at me odd for a second.

"Luke told me the weirdest thing. He said..." Lance paused, as if to think of how to say what he was thinking. "He said that you don't talk, but obviously you do. What I'd like to know, is why a hot guy like you, with a sexy voice like that would want to keep silent."

I folded my arms on the counter and put my head in the crook of my arm, almost trying to hide myself. A compliment and a question, I'd had that before, but never in the exact same sentence.

How do I tell him why? I can't talk about it, and he doesn't understand. I thought to myself and then looked around. Of course, and internet cafe, with the internet, I could show him. I got up from the table and paid for half an hour of the internet and logged on, then searching for the blast. It took me some time before I found the picture I was looking for, and then I got up and pulled him to the computer, sitting him down in the chair and turning his head to the screen.

"Volcano blasts, leaving a total of 6 towns dead, except for one." Lance read aloud. He didn't get it. He looked up at me and I sighed. I reached around him, letting my arms lay on his shoulders as I typed and found the picture and article from TIME magazine. Then I turned his head back to the computer and pointed.

"Out of 6 towns that were demolished by the deadly volcano, that had been thought to be dead from 7,000 years, one boy survived. And here's his story." Lance read the title, but still didn't get it. He looked up at me and I turned his head back to the computer and scrolled down the page, letting him see the picture of me being carried to a helicopter by 4 search and rescue workers.

"Bradley Christian, 12, the lone survivor of the devistating volcano blast, was found two weeks after, in an abandoned mine, 30 feet beneath left over rubble." Lance read. I scrolled down the page, and he saw the picture of the body bag my sister had been in. He continued to read. "Janie Christian, 16, Bradley's sister, would have survived the blast, but she gave her life to her brother. She died three days before the Search and Rescue found Bradly, dying from lack of food and sulfuric acid that had been in the town's drinking water." Lance stopped. I scrolled down, and the last shot on the page was of me, a week after the crash, with the four men that found me. I remembered how sad I had been, but joked with the Search and Rescue crew for the picture. I stared at the screen, and didn't notice the tears running down my face.

A hand came into my vision and I blinked as Lance rubbed the tears off my face.

"Oh, Bradley." Lance said quietly. I bowed my head, putting my chin to my chest and tried to shake away the images.

"Sir, you're half hour is up." The guy behind the counter said. I nodded and took Lance's hand, pulling him up from the seat. I logged off and walked to the door. I stepped into the night air and took a deep breath. Lance pulled my hand to his car, I stopped and led him to my car. I got in, as did Lance, and I headed back to the school. I parked in my spot and led him to my room, which was on the 3rd floor. I opened my door and let him in, closing the door behind him, and turned on the light.

Lance sat on the couch and I sat in the Lazy-Boy across from him. Silence was painful.

"I wouldn't want to talk either." Lance whispered.

"I know." I whispered back. "It's like, every time I open my mouth, something bad happens to that someone."

"Then why do you talk to me?" Lance asked, interested.

"Because I trust you for some reason." I said and blushed slightly.

Author Notes: I've had much response to this, seems like people like the story line I came up with... hmmm... does that sound like emails? I think it does, tell me what you think yall! silverwings4ever@hotmail.com

Websites: http://www.angelfire.com/music2/slipupwizshs/index.html http://www.geocities.com/ms_sleepalot/front.html

Contact Me: AIM: Hazy Cea Yahoo: lilyellerdudetripsalot

Next: Chapter 4


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