How Do I Say

By Jennifer Lankford

Published on Feb 10, 2002

Gay

Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, wish I did, but I don't, so live, as I do and deal. This story is complete fiction, and if you don't know the definition of fiction, look it up, the definition will surprise you. But if you do know the meaning, good job, you are one step closer to the real world. Problem with this story. Then why the heck are you here in the first place?

Chapter 4

I got up from the chair before Lance could speak and went over to the stereo.

Look in these eyes you'll see the dark

The little space inside my heart

The darkest side withholds the light

The light that brightens me inside

You don't know

Angels don't fly, they have no wings

It is another of those things

That we make up

That we believe

The real thing is not what we conceive

You don't know

I won't let you see me

I will hide, I will lie

As true as can be

You just don't have

What it would take

To be a part of me

These arms are my heart

These arms are my heart

These arms are my heart

These arms are my heart

The darkest side withholds the light

The light that shines

You can't deny

You don't know

I won't let you see me

I will hide, I will lie

As true as can be

You just don't have

What it would take

To be a part of me

I stopped the track, and looked at Lance.

"The song explains you." He said quietly. I walk back over and sit next to him.

"I just can't tell anyone, it hurts, and I can't trust anyone enough to know what happened." I said softly.

Lance nodded and wrapped his arm around me, and I laid my head on his shoulder.

"You do realize, that this is the first time that I have spoken in six years, right?"

Lance pulled away. "You're kidding?" He said, searching my face for a lie.

"No, it's not. For some reason, I think I can trust you enough to talk to you."

"Get up a minute." Lance said. I got up and he laid down on the couch, then patted the place beside him.

I laid down beside him, between the back of the couch and Lance, laying my head on his chest and my arm around his waist. We stayed like that, in silence, for almost an hour. Lance was probably thinking about all that he had learned, and I was thinking mostly about why I was trusting Lance so much.

"We never did eat." Lance said simply. I nodded in agreement. "Wanna get some ice cream?" He asked.

I nodded again, but didn't move.

"That means you would have to move." Lance said.

I shook my head, I was comfortable and didn't want to move. "Get Luke to do it." I said and closed my eyes.

"Why Luke?" Lance asked.

"Because he knows what I like." I said and shrugged.

Lance laughed and took out his phone. He called Luke, which was 3 doors down (if I go crazy would you still call me superman.... Sorry, that slipped). Lance asked Luke to get us some ice cream, and I smiled, knowing Luke would do it. And he did, showing up at the door 15 minutes later with ice cream in hand. Then he left after I gave him a hug. I walked into the kitchen with the bag of Baskin Robins, and laid out the ice cream on the counter. Lance took his ice cream and sat at the table, while I made adjustments to my ice cream. Nothing big, just mixing stuff together, adding toppings, that sort of thing. I sat down at the table to, watching Lance as he ate.

"Would you meet the guys?" Lance asked.

"The guys?" I asked back

"Nsync." He said.

"Oh, yeah, sure, I don't see why not." I said and continued to eat my ice cream. Then I thought of something. "Only if you meet my family."

"Didn't they..." Lance didn't say the words, which I was thankful for.

"Yeah, my adoptive family." I said quietly.

"They live around here?" Lance asked.

I nodded, "I just have to call them."

"How about tomorrow, we'll be working on dancing, and it will give us a reason to break." Lance said and smiled.

"Just call me, or come and get me, which ever." I said.

"I'll come and get you, since you don't have you're phone hooked up." Lance said and smiled.

I got up from the table and plugged in the cordless phone. "Now it is."

"I didn't think you had one."

"Well, you learn something new everyday." I said and grinned widely. I took some of my cookie dough ice cream and made a smiley face on his cheek.

That's not nice." Lance said and wiped it off with his fingers, licking them as he finished.

That's how the rest of the night was spent, getting to know each other. Lance never brought up the past, which I was grateful for, and he sung me to sleep, a song my mom used to sing for me. I fell asleep with a smile on my face. Maybe there was a chance at life for me.

Author Notes: I've had much response to this, seems like people like the story line I came up with... hmmm... does that sound like emails? I think it does, tell me what you think yall! silverwings4ever@hotmail.com

Websites: http://www.angelfire.com/music2/slipupwizshs/index.html http://www.geocities.com/ms_sleepalot/front.html

Contact Me: AIM: Hazy Cea Yahoo: lilyellerdudetripsalot


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