The following is a true account of sex between consenting men. No names have been changed to protect anyone, because no one here is an innocent. If you are not supposed to be reading this type of thing... ciao!
Other than that... enjoy.
If you enjoy reading this, please feel free to drop me a line at my e-mail address: xgiampaolo@hotmail.com. I really like to hear from you guys!
How It All Started, Chapter 2... New Year's Eve 2000
After my encounter in the adult video store, I'd awakened a part of myself that was dying to be fed. In the following few weeks, I returned to the video store and gave quite a few "feedings" to this hungry side of my sexuality. The side that wanted to make other men my playthings, to be left in the dark, well hidden until the cravings came again. I was becoming more comfortable with the person that I was, and the feelings of guilt were subsiding.
But now, I was battling within myself as to whether I wanted to be a gay man, or did I just want some ass on the side. You know, the occasional blowjob from some talented fag couldn't hurt, right? It just means that I like to have my dick sucked. Or maybe it means that I need to quit trying to fool myself, and get a steady man.
Sigh.
In the meantime, the New Year was approaching, a time of renewing myself, bettering who I was, and changing the things that I thought needed altering. A busy time, indeed. I'd not told anyone of my little "trysts", but deep inside I wanted to. I had a girlfriend, for Christ's sake, and if she ever found out, I'd be fucked... and not in the good way. I had a reputation to uphold. My family simply adored me. I was the good one, the hard-worker, the one that would someday have it all... a beautiful wife, a house on each coast, 2.4 kids and a puppy. I couldn't bear disappointing everyone by being gay. I just couldn't. So, I kept it all inside.
On New Year's Eve 2000, I was at the gym doing my usual workout. The gym was closing early that night, as to allow people to go out and have fun doing all the things that they came to the gym to try and erase. My sometime work-out partner Joey was there, of course. He was always there. He walked over to say hello when he saw me enter the gym.
"Hey X-Man, what's up?"
"Nothing man, just trying to get in a little exercise, and then I am going home to watch the fucking ball drop."
"You mean you're not going out with your girl?"
"Nah." I said. "Sloane is gone to Connecticut to be with her family for the week. I'm just gonna go chill at home. What are you up to tonight?"
"Well, I have to work." Joey said. "But it's going to be fun."
"I thought that you worked for the pharmacy, right?" I asked.
"Well, I do, but I have some work that I do on the side, you know? I dance at clubs."
"Oh, really? Well the times that we have gone out, you can't even dance on the floor, much less get up on a podium and dance!"
"Fuck you, motherfucker!" He jested. "I make damn good money dancing. Don't be so jealous!" "So I guess all the girls are all over you, putting dollars in your ass, huh?" I joked.
"Well..." he said. "It's usually mostly guys. But shit, money is money!"
I tried not to look surprised.
"Riiiiiiiiiight."
I looked at Joey, as I had many times before, and yes, he was fine. Very nice body. He'd worked hard, and was in top shape. He was 26 years old, with nice soulful brown eyes, and a handsome, angular face that told the tales of his Indian ancestry. His hair was almost jet black, a little past shoulder length, and very healthy. His body was very cut. At 6' even, I would guess that he weighs about 205. I'd seen him naked many times, and always marveled at how his cock, even flaccid, was about 7 inches long and fat.
Yes, he was tasty.
"So, you wanna come with me tonight? It'll be fun, man. Much more fun than sitting at home watching balls drop and all."
"Yeah, yeah I'll go." I said. "So where are you going to be working tonight?"
"At Chrome." He answered. "It's a gay club. I'll make so much money tonight it will be absolutely ridiculous. You don't mind going to a fag bar, do you?"
"Naw, man. People are people."
"Great. Let's work out, and we can go catch a bite to eat afterwards and then... off to clubland!"
We worked out together and chatted awhile. The announcement came over the speakers that the club was closing in 30 minutes, and we needed to finish our workouts and showers. Joey and I dashed into the locker room, and were about to get showered.
"Awwww, shit man!" I said. " I may as well go home and shower, since I have to get some decent clothes to wear anyway. I wasn't planning on going anywhere afterwards, you know?"
"Yeah buddy, that's cool. Mind if I shower at your place, too?"
"Not at all."
"I already have my change of clothes and everything, so I don't need to go home first."
"That works. Let's go."
We went to my apartment, and I headed to the bathroom. Joey followed right in after me, and sat down on the toilet and talked to me while I got undressed.
"You know, Xander, you're looking really good. I can see it on your quads where you've been doing a lot of work."
A bit uncomfortable, I responded. "Yeah, thanks. I have been doing a lot of leg work, lately." I pulled off my shorts and stood there in my underwear, waiting on him to make an exit.
"Oh, well, I guess I'll go wait for you to get showered up, that is unless you want to share a shower."
I looked at Joey and my heart began to race. Is he being serious? I decided to play the "safe card."
"Not a chance, man. Get your punk ass in there and watch some fucking television until I'm done!"
We both laughed out loud.
He exited the bathroom, and I stood there, thinking just how fun it would have been to actually take a shower with him. I looked at myself in the mirror, and admired my hard work. Damn, I was looking good. I reached down and gave my cock a few tugs. It was growing rapidly, and soon I had a full erection.
"Hey X... where's the remote control for the TV?" Joey asked at the closed door.
"If it was up your ass, 'round the corner, eating a ham sandwich, you'd know!"
That puzzled him for a second.
"Huh?"
"It's probably over there by my computer desk." I laughed.
"Oh, okay..." He said. "And stop talking about my ass, you freak!"
After my shower, I opened the door and proceeded to dry my hair. Joey immediately appeared at the door holding his gym bag.
"Dude, I need to start getting ready."
"Okay, I'll be done in a minute", I said. "Gimme a sec."
"Hey, it's okay, I don't mind sharing the bathroom if you don't." He said. "I just want to get ready and get going."
He walked in the bathroom, and immediately started to undress. I stood there in my towel and continued to dry my hair. I could smell his sweat contrasting the clean smells in my bathroom, and I looked over at him. He was looking at my chest.
"Nice pecs." He said, and punched me in the chest.
"Man, quit ogling me, and get ready!" I said.
By that time, he was bending over, and peeling off his underwear. When he stood back up, that monster cock was swinging proudly. I looked down and drank him in. That was a fucking nice cock. No doubt about it. I turned my attention back to the mirror, and saw him moving up beside me.
"Do you think that I should get my nipple pierced?" Joey asked.
I looked in the mirror, and saw him gently pinching his left nipple, and tilting his head quizzically, as if trying to imagine a hoop through the brown nub. His nipples were erect and very erotic looking. He just stood there tweaking that one nipple, and I felt my dick starting to grow underneath my towel.
"Yeah, sure." I told him. "That would look good, I guess."
"Yeah, I've been thinking about it."
"Are you gonna stand there and admire yourself, or are you gonna get ready?" I barked. His just standing there was making me horny, and I was getting "edgy".
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." He said. And stepped into the shower. I have a clear shower curtain, so I could see him in there soaping himself up, and running his hands all over his body out of the corner of my eye. I was almost fully hard, and decided that I needed to go into my bedroom, before I embarrassed myself. Once I was in my room, I dropped my towel and stroked my cock a few times, thinking of Joey. I had to calm myself down before I did something stupid. I'd learned a lot today about Joey, and subconsciously, I think I was trying to make it "okay" in my head to fuck him.
Man. What's happening to me?
"Hey X-man!" Joey called out from the bathroom. "Can you come here for a second?"
I quickly put on a pair of boxers, and walked in the bathroom to find him standing there holding a razor.
"Can you help me out, here?"
"What?" I asked.
"Well, I kinda hate to ask you to do this, but can you help me shave my ass?"
I just looked at him, and nervously started to laugh. But he was serious.
"You want me to shave your ass. Man, you're just too much!" I started to walk out.
"Xander!" He called out. "I'm serious. Please."
I turned back around and looked at him.
"Dude, really, I need this. I know that you won't try anything, so that's why I'm asking for your help."
I thought to myself, "Why did he feel the need to throw in the line about me 'not trying anything'"?
I silently grabbed the razor, and he turned around.
God, his ass was breathtaking.
Firm, not a blemish on it anywhere. Fine, dark hairs were on the cheeks, and the cleft of his ass was dark with hair. He reached back, and started to spread shaving cream over the perfect globes. This seemed like a scene from a porno movie, but it was real. And I had a hard cock.
He leaned forward and rested one hand on the tile wall of the shower, and jutted his ass out toward me. This opened up the crack a little, and I almost lost it. I loved the way that his ass looked. I am definitely an "ass man". He waited silently for me to start.
"Well here goes." I said, and drew the razor across his ass in smooth trails. He remained silent, and I could see him cupping his long cock and balls as I shaved him. This ass in front of me hypnotized me deeply. He reached back and spread his cheeks and I saw his asshole. It was so erotic. I could see all this hair surrounding his pucker, and I was going to have to shave it.
The silence in the room was agonizing.
He reached back with more shaving cream and massaged it around his wrinkled pucker. I immediately ran the razor across the area, so that I could see it clearly again. He made little grunting noises that I'm not sure he was aware of. He bent over even more, and jutted his ass out. I really wanted to lick it so bad. He pulled his balls up closer to himself with his left hand, and finally spoke.
"Can you get that little area behind my sack too, man?"
I couldn't believe this. I was actually shaving my friend's ass. I was so hard that I could feel the pre-cum dribbling out of my dick. I moved down, and started to shave the area that he requested. I had to cup his ass cheek in order to do this. It was so smooth, so perfect, so warm. I brought my face in closer, and blew lightly on his asshole before I realized what I was doing. He moved back gently, and caused his asshole to come into contact with my lips.
"Oh, sorry... my bad." He said.
"Watch that shit!" I said, as if I was upset.
"I didn't mean anything by that, I was just trying to get in a position that was..." He trailed off into mumbling.
"We're done." I nervously said. "Your ass is fucking baby smooth. I hope that you are happy!"
He ran a hand back over his ass and said 'Yeahhhh, I like, I like..."
I slapped him on the ass and watched it jiggle softly.
"You like that ass, don't ya tiger?" He said in his best gay man's voice.
"You're too much for me, too fucking much!" I laughed, and walked out of the bathroom, shaking my head. Hell yeah, I liked that ass. But for now, I couldn't let that cat out of the bag.
We got dressed, and each did a couple of shots of vodka before we left and drove around to find something to eat. We found a little Spanish restaurant that was open, and had black beans and rice for dinner. It was time to head to the club, and I was feeling good already. We each had a couple of shots of Bacardi Limon in the car.
When we got to the club, the loud techno music (my favorite) and flashing lights overwhelmed me. I hadn't really been out to clubs much since I was dating Sloane, it just wasn't her scene. There were large screens all around that were showing various videos of men fucking, and also of live cameras pointed on the crowd of people there. This was a wild party. Joey introduced me to one of the bartenders that was his friend, and he agreed to give me free drinks all night. That alone made me extremely happy, and I settled into a vodka martini, with 3 olives. Joey let me know that he was going to the dressing room, and that he had to start work now. He gave me a big hug, and kissed me on the cheek, which I thought was rather weird, because we'd never shown that type of emotion toward each other before.
Funny what drinking in the middle of a gay club will do to you, huh?
I continued to drink, and watch all of the men in various stages of undress writhing all over the club.
"What are you up to, sexy?" I heard a voice say.
I turned, and there was a cute young man, about 21, with blonde hair, and an obviously drunken smile on his face.
"My name's Rob." He slurred. "What's your name?"
"I'm Paolo." I said, going back to the name that I used when I was being naughty.
"Are you Italian? You're so handsome!" Rob slurred.
"Brazilian."
"Oh! I love Brazilian guys. Your skin is always so soft, and you guys fuck like minks!" He rubbed all over my arm.
"Riiiiight." I said. Looking for a way out.
"He got close to my ear and said, "I wanna suck your dick."
"Excuse me?"
"I want... to suck... your dick!" He said louder. I looked around, a bit surprised at how unashamed he was. I felt my cock twitch. I tried to rationalize what I was about to do. "Well, he's cute.... And nobody will know..." I told myself. 'And a blowjob is always a good thing..."
"Here?" I said.
He grabbed my hand, and led me to the bathroom. We went into a stall together, and he immediately had my cock out, and in his mouth in seconds. He slobbered all over my dick, and kept mumbling something that I couldn't understand. After about 3 minutes of this, I started to lose my hard, because he wasn't very good, and he wouldn't shut the fuck up. I pushed him back a little, and tucked my dick into my pants.
"More." He said. He sat back on his heels, and I could see that he was jacking his small cock furiously.
"Hold on, I gotta find somebody." I lied, and left him in the stall.
"That was... different." I thought to myself as I walked over to the sink to wash my hands and my cock. The bathroom attendant looked at me, but didn't say anything. When I was done, he handed me a few paper towels. I gave him a tip, grabbed a few condoms from his bowl, and walked out.
When I got back out into the club, the first thing I saw was Joey on a little raised part of the floor, dancing in a silver g-string. He looked great. Already, there was money hanging out of his underwear. I walked over to him.
"Hey you!" He said. "Having fun?"
"Yeah, this place is wild!" I said.
"Well, drink up, and enjoy!" He gyrated to the music.
I went back to the bar, and drank, and drank, and drank. I spent a great deal of time watching other people, because the club was so packed, you could hardly move. I could see that the big screens now had changed to the "ball dropping" in New York City. I went out onto the crowded dance floor, and was shaking my stuff with everyone else. I was feeling great. All of these hard bodies were pressing aginst mine, it was like having a massage while dancing. Actually, someone was massaging me. I turned around, and there was a guy with the most vivid blue eyes I'd ever seen. As soon as I turned around, he kissed me full on the lips.
"Mmmm, you taste good." He purred.
"Ummm, do I know you?" I stammered.
"No, but you want to know me."
"Oh do, I?" I asked.
"I know that I want to know you." He said, before kissing me deeply again.
"Well damn. You kiss very well." That was all that I could say.
This guy certainly didn't look "gay" to me. He was about 23, or 24 years old I guessed, and had shaved his head bald. He had a nice, dark goatee and mustache that made him look very sexy. He was shorter than me, about 5'9", and had a nice, sturdy build. He'd taken his shirt off, his left nipple was pierced with a small silver hoop, and had a few nice tribal tattoos on his biceps. It was those damned eyes that stood out, though. So blue, so beautiful.
"You know..." he started, "they say that the person that you are with at the beginning of a new year is the person that you will spend the most of that year with."
"Well, since there are, oh, maybe 20 seconds left in 2000, you'd better run if you don't want that person to be me!''' I joked.
"Oh no, that's why I Came to you." He said. " I want it to be you." And he kissed me again.
God, his kisses were electric.
I put my arms around him, trying to bring him into me, Into my very soul. I was so needy for someone at that moment, and he was doing all the right things. I heard people counting down in the background.
"5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh!"
The year 2001 was here, and there was screaming and cheers everywhere. I was in this mystery man's arms still, and we kissed as if we were lovers for years. The kiss was finally broken, and he said...
"Wow. Well, my name is Brian. I'm so glad that I met you already."
"Yeah... umm, I'm Paolo." I said. "I... I... damn." I was winded. There were men all around me planting kisses on me wherever they could reach, with cheers of HAPPY NEW YEAR with each kiss. I felt my cellular phone vibrate in my pocket. I tried to make my way from the busy dance floor, and answered the phone. The signal was breaking up very badly from the noise, so I kept yelling into the phone 'Hold on, hold on!"
I got to the bathroom, and said "Hello?"
"Happy New Year Xander, I love you!"
It was Sloane.
"Oh... hey baby, I love you too... Happy New Year!"
"Where are you?" She asked.
"Oh, just at a club here in Tampa."
"Oh. I tried calling you at home, and I guess that's why I didn't get an answer!"
"Yes, yes that would be why." I said sarcastically
"Smart-butt, I miss you!" She said.
"I miss you too."
I looked into a toilet stall, and saw Rob still inside, pants down around his ankles, and shirt taken off. He seemed to be half-passed out with two guys trading off his mouth, using him to masturbate into. I turned away from that, and instantly felt sick. I missed Sloane, and I loved her. Here I was in a gay club, watching some dude that tried to suck my dick pretty much getting raped in a bathroom.
Is this the lifestyle that I wanted?
"Well, I'm gonna call some friends. Call me when you get home, I'll probably still be awake." She said.
"Yeah, I will."
"I love you, Xander. I want this year to be so good for us. I'm sorry that I wasn't there with you, but you know... parents and all... I mean..."
"Yes, I know Sloane." I interrupted. "I love you too. More than you know."
I clicked the phone off, and stood there, dazed.
I turned around and there stood Brian.
He looked as if he wanted to ask who I was speaking to, but didn't dare ask. He looked over into the toilet stall, and saw the duo working Rob over.
"Oh that's cute." He commented.
I stood there looking sad. What the fuck am I doing here? I felt like I really wanted to cry.
"What's the matter?" Brian asked.
"I just need some air, man. I need to get out of here."
"Let's walk outside for a bit." He suggested. "We can get to know each other better then."
We made our way out of the club, after getting hugged and kissed by what seemed like hundreds of guys, we finally got our hands stamped for re-entry. We walked across the parking lot, and I was feeling very light-headed.
"Let's go sit in my truck." He said to me. "I think you need to sit down."
We got to Brian's truck, and he started to kiss me again.
"I'm sorry if you don't feel good, Paolo. I want to make you feel good. Is that okay?"
I didn't respond.
"He gently kissed my neck, and moved down to my chest, and began to rub it slowly and softly. He caressed my cock, and undid my zipper. I didn't try and stop him. He began sucking just the head of my dick, making me moan. His mouth was so warm. It was a nice contrast to the cool air that was in the truck. I began to relax somewhat, but all I could see in my head was Sloane. I felt so bad that I was "cheating" on her. That girl loved me, and here I was getting head in a truck from a bald dude with tattoos and a pierced tit. Brian began to suck on my balls, and Sloane disappeared from my mind.
Oh well, sue me. I like my fucking balls sucked.
"God, your cock is so big." He chimed. "So fat, man."
"Yeah, suck it," I encouraged him. He moved back up from my balls, and was giving me slow head. He used his hand to jack me off while he sucked. His mouth was pure silk. "Oh fuck yeah, suck it." I heard myself saying.
He began humming on my cock, and the vibrations were awesome. He went all the way down, and used his throat muscles to massage the head of my cock. I rubbed his bald head, and was amazed at how sexy it felt. He purred like a cat, like a silky hot pussy, and continued to swallow my piece all the way to the root.
"I want your cock in my ass. I want you to make me your bitch tonight." Brian whorishly sang.
"Make it happen." Was all that I said.
"I know a place that we can go." He said.
He pulled off of my dick, and started up the truck. He drove to a secluded piece of beach like area that had a really good view of downtown Tampa. We got out of the truck, and began to walk. We could still see some fireworks off in the distance. He pushed me up against a palm tree, and began to make love to my cock with his mouth again. It was an awesome experience. I lay back, looking off into the distance at the skyscrapers, and the dark, clear sky. It doesn't get much better than this. He turned me around, and began to kiss my ass cheeks. He kneaded my ass softly, and planted his lips all over it as if he was worshipping it. The next thing I knew, his tongue was bathing my asshole. I sucked in air in surprise, as no one had ever done this to me before. He became very ravenous, and ate my ass like a true professional. His warm tongue bathed my hole and made me say his name out loud.
"Oh fuck yeah, Brian! Eat my fucking ass. Eat it! Fucking eat it!"
I tried to smash my ass into his face, to allow his tongue to go deeper. He was like an ass-eating machine clamped to me. I moaned and whined like a bitch. These feelings were too much for me. I jacked my cock quickly, about to orgasm. I heard Brian mumble from down in-between my cheeks "I need you inside my ass, daddy. I need it!" I winked my asshole on his tongue a couple of times, and turned back around so that he could get to my cock. He stood up, and dropped his pants. A nice cock stood up in front of him. Maybe 7 inches, nice and straight. Uncut. Without thinking, I immediately got on my knees and began to suck his cock.
"Shhhhhhhhhhit!" He growled. "Eat it, man. Eat that cock."
He'd shaved his cock, too. It was very smooth, and sexual. I usually get off on the masculine hairiness of other guys. This was a new, equally sexy experience.
I sucked him for awhile, tasting his saltiness on my tongue. He moaned softly, and fucked into my face with slow strokes. I rubbed my hands all over him. Smooth. He placed my hands on his generous mound of ass. It was very nice. Not hard and muscular, just big and meaty. I ran my fingers over his asshole, and he immediately got louder.
"Play with my pussy man. It's all yours. All yours! Fuck!"
I inserted a finger into his ass and I swear that I heard him echo he was so loud.
"Please fuck me, Paolo! Please. Fuck me now, Please!" He kept begging. I stood up and moved in behind him. He bent over and touched the ground, his big ass flaring open.
"Fuck it now!"
I placed my cock at the hole and rubbed it all over. It was so hot there. So soft and so good. I bent over and spit directly on his hole. I placed my cock back at the hole and rubbed it in. He pushed back, and tried to make me enter him. I remembered the condoms in my pocket, and reached down.
'Don't stop, please!' He yelped. "What are you doing?" "Putting on a rubber." I said.
"Oh, okay." He said, and reached back and began to use some of his own spit to lube up his hole more.
I donned the condom, and then grabbed his sides for some balance. I pushed into his ass, and met some resistance. Brian was making all sorts of moaning noises and I could tell that he was straining to push out, so that my cock would slip in easier. Finally, the head sunk in, and the rest followed in one fluid stroke.
"Ohhhh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!"
He was tight, very tight, and I couldn't believe how hot it felt inside of him.
"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhit! Take it out, Paolo! Take it out for a minute!"
I pulled my cock out of his ass, and he pulled up his pants and walked around with his hands on his hips and his eyes closed.
"Owwww, that hurt, fuck!"
"I'm sorry", I said. "You want to go?" I said, as I took the condom off.
"No, nooo, not at all. I want you to fuck me, but goddamn, that hurt! Let's try another position."
He walked toward the water, and then turned back.
"Hold on a second." He said, walking back to the truck.
He came back with a blanket, and lay it out on the ground in a clump of trees closer to the water than we'd been before. He pulled his pants down, and lay on his back with his legs spread. I walked over and joined him on the blanket. I looked down at him, as he gathered lots of his own saliva, and bathed his hole in it. I so wanted to put my mouth on his hole and lavish it with wetness, but I was afraid to go that far. I spit on my hand, and rubbed it into his hole when he took his hand away. I was amazed at how sexy he looked spread out there in the moonlight waiting to be fucked. I knelt down and began to kiss him again. Our tongues wrestled, and my cock grew harder by the second. I could feel our cocks brushing together, leaking onto each other. I began to kiss his neck, and I moved down and took the tiny hoop on his nipple into my mouth. He moaned, and drew his legs up to his chest, and tried to guide my cock into him. I paused, and looked for my pants. I reached in the pocket and got another rubber. He seemed to resent the fact that I felt it necessary to protect myself, and said 'Jeeez!" out loud, and clicked his tongue impatiently. But fuck, I only have one life and I am not willing to risk it for a piece of ass. When I was ready, he drew his knees back up to his chest, and closed his eyes. I placed my cock at his entrance, and slowly pushed.
"Shhhhhhhhit." He said. "God, your cock is so fucking fat!"
I eased up the pressure a little, and waited for him to relax some. I felt my cock slowly inching into his chute, and closed my eyes in concentration.
So fucking tight!
I continued to push in slowly until my pubes were flush with his hairless hole. Brian lay there breathing like he was trying to deliver a baby, but whatever makes it easier for him.
"Dude, slow down your breathing... you're gonna hyperventilate!" I told him.
I felt his asshole spasming around my cock, and he was already cumming.
"Oh shit, oh shit, I'm cumming... fuck me, Paolo, quick... fuck me man!" I drew my cock out of him in short strokes, and fucked him while he writhed underneath me, shooting all over both of us. This was feeling really good, and I started to long dick him. He tried to push me away, and I asked if he wanted me to stop.
"No, just slow down some, guy." He said "You're going to fucking split me."
I settled into a slow fuck, and his cock sprang back to life. We kissed as I fucked him, and he massaged my back and shoulders while I worked on his tight manhole. After awhile, I came, and collapsed on top of him. He kissed my neck and whispered in my ear that he never wanted me to go. He was a pretty cool guy. Very nice, very fuckable. But I was hungry.
"I need food." I growled.
"Yeah, me too." He agreed. We got up on shaky legs, and walked back to the truck.
"God, you fucked me sooo good!" He said.
I blushed at what he said, and climbed inside his vehicle. He drove us to IHOP, where we went inside giggling like two kids on Christmas. He talked to me, and I began to see how intelligent he was. We had so many things to talk about. My cellular phone rang.
"X-man... where are you?" It was Joey.
"Oh, I'm just hanging out, man."
"Well, I am getting ready to leave the club in about 15 minutes. Meet me at the bathroom. Where are you now?"
"Ummm, I'll be there." I ignored his question, and hung up.
"Shit. That was my friend that I came to the club with. We have to go back."
"Oh, I'll take you home."
"No, no. I need to go back there, please." I said to Brian.
"Well, okay."
We drove back to the club, and were getting ready to say our good-byes. I looked at Brian, and tears were rolling down his face.
"I don't want you to go, man. I really don't."
"Well, I'll see you again." I said. "Don't start crying, man."
"It's just that, I know that you won't call me or anything. I know that we are not going to see each other again. I have never had anybody make me feel so good, and I know you probably have other people in your life, but I want you, man. I need you!"
"Uh oh... a co-dependant clinger!" I thought.
"Don't say that, of course I'll call you!' I said.
"Well here's my number." he said.
He handed me the number written on a grocery store receipt. Beside his name he'd written, "I love you" with a little heart beside it.
I was amazed. How can you say that you "love" someone that you just met?
I know that we'd connected, and I felt something for him, but it wasn't "love". I hugged him, and he continued to quietly bawl. My phone rang again.
"Xander, you're not at the bathroom... where are you?"
"Oh, I'm already waiting outside, man. I'll be by the front door."
I jumped out of Brian's truck after one last kiss. Man, he could kiss so well. He drove away with tears in his eyes.
I rushed to the front door of the club, as not to let Joey know that I'd "hooked up" with anyone.
"Man, where have you been?" He said. "You just disappeared!"
"Oh, I just walked out for some air. You know how smoke gets to me."
"Man, I made a shitload of money! Wanna go eat? My treat?"
"Nah." I said. "I'm ready for bed."
"What's that mark on your neck?"
"Oh, some dudes kissed me at midnight!" I said. "That was freaky!"
We both laughed, and went to his car, and then home.
I had trouble sleeping that night. All I could think about was what would it be like having a relationship with a man. Was I ready for that? Was it destiny that I met Brian? Is that why we hit it off so well? What would I tell my family? I decided to cross all those bridges when I got there. In the meantime, I would call Brian.
I pulled out his number, and looked at the little heart that he drew beside the "I love you", and my heart felt so good. It was a strange feeling, but I liked it. I remembered all of the fun that we had the night before, and I started to get hard again. I dialed the number.
"Hello?" An elderly woman answered.
"Ummm, yes... may I speak to Brian?"
"He's not here, he's at his girlfriend's house. Who is this?"
I was shocked.
"Do you work with him?"
"No, no ma'am, I'm just a friend. I was calling to wish him a Happy New Year."
"Well, he's gone to Amanda's and he said that he was spending the night. Do you have his cell number?"
"No. Could you give that to me, please?" I asked.
"Sure."
I called the number and Brian answered.
"Hello?"
"Brian. It's me Paolo."
He was very quiet.
"Oh, hello. How are you?"
"I'm good, thanks, really good. Hey look, do you have a girlfriend?"
"Ummm, yeah. Ummm. Maybe I should go, I'm kinda busy right now."
"Look, I'm not gonna call you again, I just thought that you were serious last night, that's all."
"Mmm hmmm". He said. Look, I need to go."
My heart sank.
"Well yeah, okay then. Goodbye you stupid fucker. I hope that you are fucking happy. You need to tell Amanda that you were my fucking BITCH last night, okay? You tell her that! Tell her how you fucking CRIED LIKE A BITCH!"
Click... and he was gone, just like that.
I felt so stupid. So very stupid for letting my guards down like that. I wondered would I ever have a relationship with a man. Can they be trusted? Ugh.
I called Joey.
"Xander, I had a blast last night... how about you?"
"Yeah, man, it was wild. Fucking wild."
We talked awhile, and until this day I have never told him exactly what happened that night. I never heard from Brian again, but he taught me a lot that night about relationships.
He really did.
But, it was a new year, and I had shit to do. He was pushed to the back of my mind, but yes, it took some time. I was young and gullible back then. A whole year ago.
Amazing what can happen in a year, right?