"How Much Wood Would Pinocchio Grow If Pinocchio Could Grow Wood?
by
Timothy Stillman
Billy loved playing with his willie. He had learned to play his willie like a clarinet two months ago. It was more fun than a clarinet, he bet. Every night, like now, here in his bed with the SpongeBob night light on, he lay in his jammies and played with his willie.
If he could stop thinking about the movie he saw tonight. If he could stop thinking about the horror movie he saw tonight. Because Tony the Tiger, his bro, had made him watch the movie, so Bro and his girl could cuddle on the porch swing in the nighty night.
The music of the movie was by Goblin. The movie was about elves and gnomes and goblins and trolls hiding under bridges. The movie weirded Billy out. Even though in the dark of the living room, by the light of the TV, he played with his willie under his jammies.
His willie made him happy. Tonight the willie made him not as happy. He closed his eyes and did not watch the movie. But what movie he was seeing in his eyelids was worse. So he opened them again. And that was when Donald Pleasance got it in the gut. And Don's monkey was not amused.
Oh kiss kiss on the porch swing. Oh tit feel. And here was Willie finally in his bed, after film over, and Bro and girl parted for the night. And he rubbed his willie and it tickled so and he giggled so. But he could not stop thinking about that movie. And the music. And he knew there was one of those fairy tale things in his closet in the dark of night.
Even though kids at school made "fairy" a mean word to hurt some of the other kids who sometimes knocked the teeth out of the kids who made them sad (for which Billy was happy; revenge is nice, especially when you're beat up on a lot), but tonight there was a fairy in his closet. And that was not funny a bit.
Speaking of bit, Billy just had a bit of a willy. He hoped it would grow. He saw his bro's bigggg dick once in the bathroom, and his own little toothpick went sprong. And it was sprong now. And it was so warm and it had this nice little head on it and little pulse veins on the side. It was a pretty good looking one too, if Billy did say so himself. Though he didn't. Hey Miss Farnham. Yes, Willie, prune butt turns from the blackboard, and Billy says I got a great willie. And Miss prune butt says, oh good class, let's see Billy's willie. Now everyone don't laugh.
Ha ha. But now the scene of the school room was of nothing but fairies and goblins and trolls. The music by Goblin played in his head. It was pretty good music actually, kind of unforgettable. So mostly now he was assured there was a goblin in his closet.
And that made willie sad and willie hung his head and deflated and didn't stick out like an insect leg anymore. And that was so unfair. It had made Billy so happy, rubbing his willie, getting the tingle, and then the tingle spreading through his whole body and then the little ah and oh and tension released and warm wash cloths inside him and soothing every inch of him from within .
But now willie was scared, and Billy it was up to to protect willie, cause willie was a nice little fellow and was one of the few things that made him happy.
And then Billy saw it---in the pale of the moon and the corner of light splashed delicately and vaguely, too vaguely for Billy's content, by the SpongeBob night light, there was the closet door opening in the moon light from the window. And willie drew his nut sac right into Billy's groin. And Billy was sore a'frightened. And the door opened a little bit more. And Billy smelled the mashed potatoes he hid in there the other night when his mother made him sit at the table by himself till he finished the mashed potatoes. He hated mashed potatoes. So he sneaked out and dumped them in an unused tennis shoe in his bedroom closet. That smelled rank.
He felt like a mashed potato now. He pushed his willie inside his jammies door, and said I will protect you little fellow. But he was too scared to protect his little friend.
And then the door rushed open and there was the scattering of all that stuff in that overstuffed closet, and Billy almost screamed, and then the little swish of air and colors of red and green and bold blue came racing fast as Superboy right to his bed and was on the covers beside the boy ashiver, in a whirl. And Billy, body locked, was ready to scream the rafters of the world down.
Until the quick move. The fatal move. And the quick, fatal move was the goblin going for Billy's willie. No, Billy thought in a nanosecond, which was how fast the goblin seemed to move, you can have my ears, my arm, my right arm please, I'm left handed and need that one, but then and then the goblin started to--
--gobble.
On Billy's willie. And Billy felt the cold ice inside become the warm wash cloths inside. And the balls backed out of his groin again, and the goblin sucked and gobbled and sighed and did all sorts of neat goblin tricks to Billy's willie and Billy gradually lay back and relaxed, and the cutest thing of all was that the goblin started to glow and the goblin looked up at little Billy and the goblin started to grow, and it was a boy singer from Billy's favorite band. The goblin expanded to Billy's height and the goblin, now the boy singer, lay beside Billy and then the boy singer former Goblin went back to goblin Billy`s willie right along.
Good goblin.
Good Donald Pleasance.
Good little willie.
Good scary old closet.
Good dumb ol'Bro.
Good ol' Bro's knock kneed dumb ol' girl friend.
Good SpongeBob.
Good moon light.
And the beautiful young boy beside Billy looked at him and said in a musical voice, to the back beat of music by Goblin, "wanna gobble a goblin, Billy, since a goblin just gobbled your willie, Billy?"
"Why yes," said Billy when he could swallow again, "I would love to gobble your gobbler, goblin, and I think I shall."
And so he did.
Now, if you are a little boy, or not so little, wouldn't you like to have a goblin like that in your closet every night? I know I sure would.
Story time over, boys and girls, let's hit the sack. And dream goblin dreams.
and they lived happily ever after
Timothy Stillman B Keeper silvershimmer@earthlink.net