Human All Too Human

By JV

Published on Aug 20, 2002

Gay

I don't know N'Sync, nor do I know that much about them, so excuse me if I make any mistakes or imply anything about them which isn't true. This is all a product of my imagination, and shouldn't be taken literally. Also, if it is illegal for you to read this, wherever you are, then don't cos you might get in trouble, and who knows? The karma might just come back and bite me in the butt for some reason! Without further ado, please enjoy my new story...'Human, all too human'.

Human, All Too Human - Part Three

Charlie and Justin made their way into the restaurant, he was dressed in a pair of grey slacks, and a green shirt with the top two buttons undone, a gold cross hung around his neck. His arm wrapped around her waist as they were guided to their table by the maitre d'. The maitre d' held out the chair for Charlie as Justin sat down opposite.

"This place looks really nice." Charlie said in hushed tones across the table.

"Yeah, I like it, it's quiet, and we never get disturbed in here. I hate to say it but this is kinda where all the guys and I go whenever we take someone out for the first time, it's difficult to find somewhere that will put up with us, often fans follow us into restaurants and stuff." Justin got a far away look on his face, and looked down at the finger bowl with the lemon slice in it. Charlie reached across the table and touched Justin's hand.

"Are you ok?" She asked, concerned.

"Yeah, sorry. Hey you know, Lance drunk one of these once?" Justin said, holding up the finger bowl.

"He didn't." Charlie said, not with a grin on her face.

"He did. It was the first time we all got together, Lou took us out to a place like this, in Orlando, and it was the first time Lance had even been out of Mississippi. He thought it was just another drink!" Justin said chuckling.

"Awww, I bet he was just nervous."

"He probably was, he'd only done amateur stuff, and a couple of small gigs, I don't think he was expecting all this." Justin said.

"So... when do you guys go back to work?" Charlie asked, but before Justin could answer, the waiter came and asked for their orders. Once the waiter had left, Charlie looked at Justin expectantly. Justin just looked down into his wine glass which the waiter had filled for him.

"We go back in just under a month." Justin sighed, and swirled his glass around. "I guess you don't want to go out with someone who's only gonna be around for a month and then hardly ever available, I mean you're in school, it's not like you can come up and visit, and I can't leave with recording the new album."

"To tell you the truth, it would be nice to see you more often, but the problem is because of all my classes I'm hardly ever free to get a boyfriend anyway." Charlie paused. "I'd like to think about carrying it on, even if we only get to see each other some of the time, like holidays or whatever. In a month's time, it won't be that long till the next vacation, and it would be great to have a boyfriend who understood what it's like to have time constraints." Charlie looked down at the flowers in the middle of the table. Justin chuckled, Charlie looked up, and saw him sitting back in the chair grinning at her.

"You know, I've been so worried about telling you about that - I was thinking you were gonna jump up and leave when I told you or something. Man, if I'd known it was gonna be this easy, I would've told you on Sunday." Justin chuckled.

"I don't know - I might not have said the same thing on Sunday." Justin looked shocked for a second. "I mean, I only realised that I liked you, I mean I would like you as a boyfriend right at the end of Sunday. If you'd said as soon as I arrived on Sunday that you were only gonna be around for a month, and then you had a strict schedule, I probably would've run for the hills!" Charlie grinned at him, and he smiled back.

"So, this is like our...third date?" Justin asked with a smile.

"Yeah it is." Charlie said, then she looked up and saw Justin smiling. "So I guess you'll get a kiss goodnight tonight." Justin hesitated, then smiled and reached across the table to take her hand. Dinner soon arrived, and they ate, casting glances across the table to one another every now and then. Charlie didn't drink alcohol, so she just took water, and an hour and a half later, they were enjoying their desserts. Halfway through dessert though, Justin felt a foot against his leg. A bare foot. Charlie's foot surreptitiously ran up and down Justin's shin, her toes massaging the skin under his slacks. He carried on grinning at her, but only once did he catch her eyes, just as they were finishing the dish. As the bill came, she stopped, and smiled at Justin. Justin paid and they left. Justin ran Charlie home, and walked her to her door, where they kissed goodnight. "I had a really good time tonight." Charlie said, as they stood outside her student flat.

"Me too, can I call you?"

"Sure." Charlie replied. "I'll look forward to it." She leant up and they kissed again. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Justin replied, and then Charlie went in and shut the door, but not before casting Justin another smile. Justin turned and left, humming to himself with a smile on his face. A few moments later, he was outside and leaving in his car. A knock came on Charlie's door a minute after that.

"Was that Justin Timberlake?" The girl who lived in the flat opposite asked Charlie.


Josh called Mark every day that week except Thursday, he didn't want to seem too desperate. Also Mark had told him how Thursday was always a busy day, trying to mark papers so he could give them back before the weekend. But on Friday, Josh had been over and had picked up Mark as he said, five minutes before eight o'clock he was sat outside, waiting until eight before walking up the driveway and knocking on the door. Josh noticed how Mark's house was large, at least what he expected most people could afford on a teacher's salary. He figured it must have been given to him by his parents or something, maybe it was just a really good deal. At two minutes to eight, Josh saw the door open, and Mark stepped out dressed in a jacket and tie. Josh quickly scrambled out the car, and ran up to him. "I'm sorry! I was waiting till eight."

"It's ok, I thought I'd save you the trouble, besides I was ready, and I got sick of waiting just behind the door, so I figured we could get going." Josh smiled, then looked around once.

"Yeah, that would be great." Josh leant in and kissed Mark on the lips once, twice, and then pulled back and grinned again. "How was yesterday?"

"Huh?" Mark said confusedly.

"You know all your marking?"

"Oh it wasn't as much as I thought, but I had to catch up with some other stuff for work anyway, so I was bogged down all the same." Josh nodded, and they walked to the car. He fished out the right key, and opened the passenger door for Mark, then walked around to climb in himself. Josh drove them to the restaurant, rather carefully. He was a reckless driver normally, so slowing down was his main focus for most of the ride there. Once they arrived at the aptly named 'Waterfront', Josh once again opened the door for Mark. "I can open the door myself you know?" Mark said jokingly.

"Ok, ok, come on let's get inside." Josh laughed. Josh did it again, opening the door for Mark as they walked into the restaurant. Mark just stood there for a second, looking at Josh and when Josh looked at Mark, Mark just shook his head and laughed again. Heading inside, a host escorted them to a table on a private veranda overlooking the moonlit Florida bay.

"Wow, it's really nice out here." Mark said, looking around the bay, seeing lights from the houses and restaurants and other buildings on the other side of the bay reflected in the water.

"Yeah, I've only been here once before, but it's private so..." Mark looked around and realised they had the balcony overlooking the water to themselves. "Plus Justin took Charlie to the place where we know the owners that we get a private table at normally." He grinned at Mark, and Mark smiled. "I'll go inside and get us some drinks, what would you like?" Mark told JC he'd like a glass of wine, and JC headed inside to the bar. Mark leant over the wooden barrier around the balcony, and a moment later JC came back, with two glasses in his hand. He handed one to Mark who sipped from it after chinking his and JC's glasses together. They both leant against the barrier.

"Thanks for asking me out tonight Josh." Mark said quietly.

"What do you mean?" Josh asked. "I asked you out on a date."

"I know, it's just I haven't been out on a date in a while. When you're either working six days a week, or visiting family, it's tough to meet people, I'm just glad that I got to meet you, and you were interested." They were both leaning on their elbows, and Mark leant over slightly and nudged JC.

"It's ok, I actually have the same problem, when we're recording we get no free time. And then, when we go on tour, we hardly get to see someone, so it just ruins everything."

"Tour? Oh yeah. When do you go again?"

"Oh that won't be for another six months or so, but we are on holiday now, in about a month we go back to Orlando and start recording again."

"Oh." Was all Mark said. They sat down at the table then, and the waiter came to take their orders.

"I'm sorry I guess I should've told you about going back, but... I didn't know how to, I'm sorry." Mark reached across the table, and rubbed his hand across the top of JC's.

"It's ok. Even if this only lasts a few weeks, it will be a great break for me... I'm sorry if that sounds like I'm just using you for a holiday or something, but... I've taught college physics for the last five years, and done government work for the last two, the college work gets so boring. It would be nice to just share with someone for a change." Mark got a sad look on his face, and JC reached over to his hand, and rubbed it, just like Mark had done before. Mark appreciated the gesture and smiled back to him. "Shall we talk about something else?"

"Sure. Well, I don't really understand what you teach about, or what you do for that matter, could you tell me about that?" JC felt a bit weird asking that, he'd never had to ask about that when he went out with his last boyfriend, a data analyst, or rather he just didn't care that much.

"Well, erm... I'm not sure how to start though. Did you do high school chemistry?" JC nodded. "Right, so you learnt about how everything is made up of atoms?"

"Yeah, duh." JC said sarcastically. Mark was a little taken aback by JC's reply.

"Well, it's not." JC sat quietly for a second. "Weren't expecting that were you? Actually, everything in the universe is made of energy which is oscillating at different frequencies, but I'm not going into quantum theory now, so let's just presume it actually is made of atoms, and stick to basic physics." Mark grinned cheesily at JC, and then went back to his explaining, using his hands to illustrate the points. "Right, well within those atoms are bits called neutrons, and protons, they form the nucleus of the atom, and then there are these tiny little bits called electrons which whizz around the nucleus really fast." Mark paused, he was using his fist like the nucleus, and waving a finger around his fist like a planet orbiting a sun to illustrate his point. JC seemed to be paying attention.

"Ok, now when we talk about splitting the atom, what we mean is that the nucleus is split, and the protons and neutrons are separated." JC nodded, remembering his high school chemistry lessons. "And that's what causes a nuclear chain reaction. Now one of the things I'm working on... hmm, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to talk about this, well, I'll just give you the basic stuff, right now when we split the atom, the force which holds the neutrons and protons together, called the 'strong force', is broken, and the particles come out. But you see protons and neutrons are made up of smaller particles called quarks and muons and bolons and hyperions, the ones which you and the guys demonstrated last Monday?" JC nodded again.

"If we could split those, and break the 'T-force', then a reaction would be much more powerful, it would release a lot more energy, and therefore be able to power larger power stations, one T-force powered power station could power half the United States." JC stared for a second.

"Wow, that's powerful. One thing though, could this new power source also be used like when nuclear power was invented? Could it be used to make a weapon? A new type of A-bomb?" JC and Mark were still eating their main courses at this time. Mark looked down, and ran his fork around his almost empty plate.

"Yeah, it could. Look, maybe you shouldn't talk about that, I mean at all. I probably shouldn't have mentioned it. It's what we're working on at the research base, along with a couple of other things."

"You're employed by the military right?" JC asked.

"Yeah, for Saturday work at least."

"So do you only make stuff which could have military applications?"

"Well, no, I mean, a lot of them do, they could be converted for military uses. There's one, a surgical tool, which couldn't be put to any real use, kind of an advanced form of the laser scalpel for use on brain tumours, that's good right?" JC paused, and nodded, then looked down at his food. Mark was just about to ask JC about his work, as he'd been talking all night so far, when JC asked another question.

"Why'd you work for the military?" Mark sighed, and sat back slightly in his chair.

"Two years ago, I did a research project, on a type of satellite based solar panel. The research project was a failure, but I still got government funding for it." Mark paused and looked up at JC. "I'd agreed to do a certain amount of work for a federal department in exchange for the funding. I didn't know that the department which provided the funding for the project had been the military. I don't have a choice. I've got to pay them back." Mark sighed, and looked down at his food, he felt sick, and the warm wind blowing in off the bay was making him start to sweat.

"Mark, I'm sorry. I didn't... I mean, man, that's harsh. I'm sorry, I should've respected your privacy a bit more. I didn't mean to sound so judgemental. Can they do that? I mean force you to pay off with work?"

"Apparently so. It was a contract and everything, I agreed to a certain amount of man hours in exchange for the funding. Working every Saturday, I should be done in about six months. Though I think they're getting worried the project won't be finished by the time I leave." Mark chuckled slightly.

"The project? I thought you were working on lots of projects?"

"Well, it is, but that T-force dissolution one I told you about? That's the main one, the one the military is pushing us to complete." JC nodded, a silence fell over the two of them, and they finally finished the meal and the waiter came to take their plates away, and offer them some coffee. "What about you? I've been talking all night, it would be nice to hear more about what you do?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah, sure. What do you want to know?" JC replied.

"Well you know, your music, the touring all that stuff."

"Well you can probably guess most of it. We spend probably three months in the recording and editing studios making music, then we release it, there's like a mad blur for... maybe three of four months, then it calms down a bit, and towards the end of that, we'll start our tour, which will either take us around the US or around the world. It depends on which option we choose how long it takes." Mark listened expectantly for JC to continue. He didn't. Mark finished his coffee, getting the feeling he'd said something to disrupt how they felt about one another. Just as Mark was about to say something, the waiter came out and asked if they wanted anything else, to which Josh replied that he'd like the bill. Josh paid with his credit card, and as soon as the waiter brought it back, they left. On the way home, Mark again tried to say something, but Josh got there first.

"I'm sorry, if I got quiet towards the end of the meal. I'm just tired, it's nothing to do with you." Josh said, rubbing his eye to emphasise the point. Mark was relieved, but only slightly - was Josh just being nice to try not to hurt his feelings. Soon enough they were at Mark's place.

"Would you like to come in?" Mark asked. Josh nodded, and smiled, trying to make up for how he acted towards the end of the meal. They walked into Mark's house.

"Really nice place." Josh commented.

"Thanks, it's actually my Mom's place, but it was empty after she went into the home so I figured... might as well take it. It's too big really, I keep most of the upstairs locked up and only go in those rooms once a year or so to clean up." Mark replied. "Do you want some coffee?"

"Sure, thanks, sugar, no cream please." Josh answered. Mark walked into the kitchen to make the coffee, and Josh sort of wandered around Mark's front room.

"So, you live in Orlando?" Mark asked from the kitchen.

"Yeah, I lived there for a few years now, I used to live with Justin, but we got separate houses a while back now." Josh said back.

"Do you actually come from Orlando?"

"No, I was born in DC, then moved to Bowie in Maryland, that's where I grew up. I only moved to Orlando in the end to be with the group." Josh said. Mark walked back in carrying two mugs of coffee, and he handed one to Josh and motioned for him to sit on the couch with him.

"So, how long do you actually spend touring each year?" Mark asked.

"Oh, it can vary, some years we'll get none, like a few years back, when we were sorting out the group and some music and stuff, but other years, we can be on the road for most of the year. You really start to appreciate your home when you get back when you've been on a bus for nine months with four other guys and a toilet that regularly backs up." Mark laughed. He noticed Josh's demeanour hadn't changed though, and it seemed like he was saying rehearsed answers.

"Is something wrong Josh?"

"Huh? Oh no, sorry, I am a bit tired, but I was thinking a bit about what you do, you know your research job?" Josh said.

"Yeah?" Mark said back. "What were you thinking?" He wasn't sure if he liked Josh thinking too much about that, but he went along with it.

"It's just, can you not work for another branch, I mean you said that you worked for the military right, so most of the stuff you work on is army stuff or whatever..."

"Yeah."

"Well, couldn't you get transferred or whatever?"

"I don't know, I've never really thought about it, but the army has the best research facilities anyway, why would I want to transfer?" Mark asked.

"Well, because, you don't really want to be working on that atomic structure project, the one that could be used to make a bomb, do you?"

"Well, yeah." Mark said quietly. "Actually, I do. I'm also the only one who's been there the whole time, I'm the leader of the project. This could be a major scientific breakthrough, I don't want to stop work on it now. Besides, if I control the project, I control the research. I may not be able to publish my findings as it's a government project, but once it becomes unclassified, I'll be the one to produce the first papers. Josh, this is an important project, it's an inexhaustible source of clean energy, I can't just stop it." Mark answered.

"But, the military is going to use it to produce weaponry."

"Maybe so, but our research is 10 or 15 years ahead of anyone else in the world, neither the European nor Far East forums are anywhere near the American models, largely because they're not military projects, so they're not being forced ahead. That means that if the military does produce a weapon, it will be so far advanced of anything else, there will be no point in using it, it will however be the ultimate deterrent. One T-force bomb could wipe out a small country, we reckon a country the size of Iraq could be turned into a moon landscape with one bomb, but no one would ever use it like that, the civilian costs would be too high."

"You think civilian losses would prevent the military taking extreme measures? What about the A-bomb." Josh realised he didn't know everything about this, even his history knowledge was probably nowhere near as good as Mark's, but he knew he was right.

"If the A-bomb hadn't been dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, then the war could've dragged on for years, it could've resulted in the loss of millions of lives, not the thousands, or hundreds of thousands who did die." Mark answered. "Besides, at least a T-force bomb wouldn't cause radiation poisoning."

"Why not?"

"Cos that's just not how it works. It doesn't act on the release of a neutron from an atom, it works through the dissolution of a proton." Mark answered. "It's a completely different theory."

"But if it's dropped it produces a barren wasteland."

"Yes... but it's inhabitable, even if there's no plant life there, stuff can be planted immediately afterwards, there's no risk of radiation passing on."

"So you're actually supporting the production of a weapon of mass destruction."

"No! That's not what I said!" Mark was getting flustered, JC's logic was moving ahead of his own. "Look, the project will only produce a weapon if the military needs to produce one, and I will not participate in the production of the weapon, but as it stands, we are just producing an energy source."

"Yeah and at Los Alamos, they were just trying to build a Nuclear power plant."

"But..." Mark sat back, defeated.

"Maybe I should go." Josh said as he stood up.

"But Josh..." Mark started, but realised he should just give up.

"Bye Mark." Josh walked out the door, Mark flinched as it slammed, and brought his knees up to his chest, and began to cry.


The following Monday, Charlie headed for Professor Carey's lecture, and upon arriving, found a note taped to the door saying that Professor Carey was absent, and all his students were free for the following period. Professor Carey had never been absent before. Charlie decided to wait till the next day before worrying, so she left and came back in the afternoon for Dr. Clare's lecture.

Charlie headed in on Tuesday for her Quantum physics lecture, and he was back, so she knew she didn't have to worry. She had her fortnightly tutorial, where they would go over some of her work, with professor Carey straight after the lecture, so she hung back as her class walked out. Professor Carey was always really informal with these tutorials, so she sat down, and pulled out her folder.

"So, what have you got to show me this week?" He started. Charlie was surprised that there was no word of greeting, or mention of how he was getting along with JC, but she figured he wanted to keep his school life separate from his private life. Professor Carey was cold all the way through the tutorial, and as Charlie explained her projects, he seemed distant. Finally, the tutorial was over.

"Professor Carey?"

"Yes?"

"Is something wrong?"

"No. I'll see you tomorrow Charlie."

"Mark."

"I'm not Mark here to you Charlie."

"No, but I want to speak to Mark."

"What do you want?"

"I want to know what happened? You've been cold all morning, you were stiff and well, boring during your lectures, and you just brushed off my projects." Charlie told Mark.

"I was upset ok? But this isn't the place to talk about this."

"Where is the place?"

"Not here."

"So come with me, we'll go grab a cup of coffee." Charlie realised then that Mark wasn't grown up, he was less than ten years older than her, and the same things affected him. He followed her to the campus coffee bar, where they sat with a cup of coffee. Charlie pulled out her physics papers so it looked like they were talking about them. "Now, what upset you so bad?"

"It was everything, this weekend was just really hard. First Josh and I aren't dating, he walked out on me when I told him about my research, he thought it was unethical." Mark paused and looked up at Charlie, realising she didn't know what he was researching. "It's not breaking scientific ethics, if that's what you're wondering, but it is probably against some people's morals. It's military research." Charlie nodded hesitantly. "Then I had to go into work, and face doing that on Saturday, the very thing that had caused my only relationship for the last four years to go wrong, and I just had to buckle down and get on with it. Then on Sunday I had to visit my Mom and she's just worse than ever, she doesn't remember anyone in our family now, and she carries on forgetting where she is and she starts panicking." Mark cleared his throat, and Charlie could see he was really upset. She wanted to reach over and hug him.

"Wow, that's a lot of stuff, I'm sorry. Do you want me to speak to Justin about JC, cos that seems really harsh."

"No, just... leave it, I don't want to pressure him, he obviously doesn't want to be with someone like me. How is Justin?" Mark asked, changing the subject. He threw Charlie off.

"He's great, we're seeing each other Wednesday night, we're having dinner at his place."

"Great. I'm sorry I've got to go, I've got another tutorial in ten minutes."

"Ok, bye professor, and I hope everything works out."

"Thanks Charlie, see you later."

End of Chapter Three TBC...

Hmm... the plot thickens???

Next: Chapter 4


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