The Hunger for More 20
~> The story written below is purely fictional. Not a fraction of truth is riddled between these words nor does the author imply that there should be. Most of the events in the pages to follow are created in the author's mind and thus should not be taken as fact in any way. He takes no responsibility for any illegal activity such as underage reading because it is done without his knowledge or sanction. The story's solitary intention is that of entertainment and nothing beyond.
~> Plagiarism of any part of this, or any other story without the author's consent is immoral and not to mention unlawful.
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The expensive racing car speeds through various causeways and interstates in the early hours of the morning so the two rappers can be at their destination. Lloyd Banks puts on his seatbelt because he still sees snow outside but the other man is driving as if the roads are clear and dry. The car boasts superb handling as well as powerful traction on its flawless tires however. Their eyes never wander over to the other. His eyes are on the various buildings flying by as Ludacris' eyes are steadily on the road. After about an hour of driving, the pair arrives on the outskirts of the capital city of Georgia. It is his neighborhood; gated and with a security guard. Once the southern rapper flashes his credentials and the police officer takes his tag number, he cautiously pushes the car forward as they pass mansions; each succeeding one appears to be larger than the last. They follow a sleek curving road until a large mansion with a pure white complexion comes into view in front of them. The DTP rapper pulls into the driveway of his extremely opulent residence.
Lloyd Banks says nothing as the other rapper shuts the engine off and gets out of the perfect car. His mind however, is trying to be rational as to what is going to happen within the walls of the house in front of them. He knows what he does not want to happen but does not know what he wants to happen. The confused man follows the lead of his former boyfriend and also gets out of the car. Ludacris fiddles with his small bunch of keys to find the magic one that will allow them entry into the overtly large house. A strong gust of warm air surges through them and fights with the bitter cold air of outside as he opens the door and lets the G-Unit member into his house. His home. Everything is so clean and pristine as they enter and the man guides him into the great hall, where an exquisite dangling chandelier steals the spotlight. He does not expect the DTP rapper to live in such a house. It is magnificent in every sense of the word. He disappears for a while, leaving Banks alone in the great hall. He takes a seat on the comfortable sofa there and looks about.
"You want something to drink Chris? Eat?" he hears the southern rapper holler from another room he only assumes is the kitchen.
"Naw I'm straight."
"Aight," he says as the two men are now back in the same room again. Ludacris has an opened bottle of water in his hands.
"Nice place man. Very nice."
"Thanks. You sound surprised."
"I am."
"Why? Didn't think a ghetto ass rapper like me would go for all these nice things?"
Lloyd Banks looks at him. "Honestly, naw. Didn't know it could be like this."
"Well now you do. You learn something new everyday."
"I guess you do."
"Wait until you see the rest of it."
"Why did we come here? What you gotta talk about? I'm listening," the G-Unit member completely changes the subject.
"What gave me away? At the club?" Ludacris has to know as he sits down next to his once boyfriend. It is something he has to fix.
"Your eyes."
"My eyes? How?"
"Just because."
"Yea---"
"I saw it," he responds. "I saw something there."
"What do you see? Or think you see?"
"I dunno. You tell me."
"Can't."
"You drove me all the way out here to play games with me nigga?" Banks raises his voice slightly. He is in no mood to be toyed with like this.
"No. No. Nothin' like that. I don't play games."
"So why am I here?"
"Because I want you to be Chris."
"You not makin' any sense."
Ludacris takes this as the chance he needs. The chance he has so desperately needed for so long. He rests the now empty plastic bottle on the nearby coffee table and moves closer to the other man in his house. His man. Lloyd Banks is unaware of what is going on or what to expect but when their lips finally touch in that second, everything is gone. Every negative thing is gone and an overflow of delight and joy erupts from somewhere deep inside him. This is exactly what he does not want to happen and is confused as to why it is happening in the first place. The southern rapper's hands gently rest on his lap and stays there. This will not be rushed and will only continue if it feels right to both of them. If it is right to both men. Banks gives up everything and succumbs to the strong and yet soft kiss as his torn insides accept the touch as the only real thing within his reality right now. It is currently happening in reality but feels so damn surreal. The way he kisses drives the younger rapper insanely mad with lust and passion and bliss and excitement. It is raw.
"Naw naw. Get off me," Lloyd Banks breaks away and pulls his own body back. "Why you playin' with me for?"
He sighs. "I'm not playing anything. You know it."
"What you tryin' to do nigga?"
"What you want me to do?" Ludacris comes back.
"Gimme some straight answers."
"Don't fight it my G-Unit boy."
"No---"
His voice is silenced quickly by the southern rapper's full lips upon his own once again. He cannot fight it. They cannot fight it. Lloyd Banks feels himself being guided back onto the sofa and arches his back up when he feels the wet tongue of his lover slide over his lips, begging for an entrance into his orifice. Their bodies are pressed together and hearts beat out of their chests as it begins. Everything that is right and wrong at the same time begins. Ludacris' body learns to conform to the one under as their fingers stroke skin, hair, and other vulnerable spots on each other's bodies. His hands cup Banks' face as the sensual kiss transforms into an intimate one and their quivering bodies begin to grind into one another's through the light fabric of clothing. Tongues wrestle erotically and sinfully while moans escape their mouths. The G-Unit rapper's mind is blank. It is the best feeling in the world and the more he experiences it, the more dependent he becomes to it. Nothing but pleasure is registering to him and he does not care anymore. It is happening.
There is definitely no fighting it at this point. It is the right thing. The Atlanta rapper easily lifts up his body and runs a hand under the other man's t-shit. Meanwhile, Banks slyly lifts up his lover's sweatshirt and begins tracing over the smooth, warm skin of his back. He can already feel the goosebumps; it is contagious between the pair. The glorious kiss only breaks for shirts to slide off both of the toned bodies and then it continues as if nothing ever happened. Ludacris' lips on his feel like the real deal. It feels so rewarding and gratifying on so many levels that the younger rapper believes that he cannot comprehend it all. The kiss falls apart once again when the duo realizes how uncomfortable the sofa truly is for the activities they hope to accomplish tonight. The southern rapper crawls up and off his man and gets up. His caramel colored complexion enhanced by the Moon is awe inspiring. He wraps his arms around Lloyd Banks; the contrast in their skin tones is simply amazing, and they walk together into his large bedroom as a couple. It is seamless.
Ludacris sits on the very edge of his king-sized bed and pulls his boyfriend's body closer to his and rests his lips on his flat stomach. He kisses around the navel and his lips also brush against every developed ab the younger rapper has as his hands smoothly glides up and down his stained back. Lloyd Banks thrusts his head back at the sensations and starts stroking his lover's head in an attempt to encourage more. So much more. Feeling this way is not possible but here he is. Everything is gone. Everything is let go. This is meant to happen to him. Hands rest on the older rapper's broad shoulders as his tongue continues to explore and create new trails all over the dark and already glistening skin. It is a sinful lust that is neither tainted nor immoral. Their bodies giving in to what it has been denied for so long reveals the sweetest escape for the world of reality. For the first time in a very long time, Banks is able to forget and let go of everything and be his true self. The self that so few get the chance of seeing. The effects are intoxicating.
The buckle of the G-Unit member's belt click and becomes free at last and in no time, the button holding his pants onto his narrow waist also finds freedom. His eyes are focused on the man fondling his most private and sensitive area. The pants and white boxers fall to the floor as Ludacris pulls his lover closer and licks the very tip of his hardening member. The organ quickly responds to the tender touch and starts sucking blood from his body to stand at its full mast. Low grunts and rumbles linger on Lloyd Banks' lips while the oral assault continues to make him plead for more. There is no way this could be wrong. Even though he and Giselle had sex, she never extricated these types of feelings from him. She honestly could not if she tried because nothing was there. It was just sex. This is completely different and he sees it, or feels it rather, now. The DTP rapper licks the sensitive chocolate lollipop as his hands roam the strong body it is attached to. His tongue rubbing against the hard shaft drives Banks crazy. He is trapped in it all and cannot save himself.
Lloyd Banks pulls his body back and his wet dick pops out of the other man's mouth. They look at each other as he kneels down and steals him away with a kiss. This is unexpected but the lovers fall hopelessly into it as their tongues mingle once again. His hands are riding up Ludacris' still clothed legs and stop just short of another belt. The restriction is set loose and he raises his body slightly so the pants can be removed from his anticipating body. He has wanted this since the last time it happened. It is the ultimate validation of his true feelings. The G-Unit member's warm and welcoming mouth engulfs his shaft and everything fades to black. His back hits the softness of the bed while his lover is still on his knees pleasuring his rock hard dick. The moment is erotic in and of itself and it cannot stop. Banks' head moves up and down the slick pole with pure determination and desire as his hands tickle his man's balls. Both the southern rapper's hands are on the back of his head and forcing him down the caramel colored wand further.
When the older rapper instructs him to get on the bed, he wastes no time in getting away from the floor and enjoying the satin sheets against his bare skin. Banks feels his mouth being attacked and fights back hard to defend himself and manages to get the upper hand but his boyfriend is determined to take control of him. Ludacris crawls on top of him and continues the assault as he begins grinding his hips sensually into his man's. Their dicks rub together and create a heat between them that cannot be denied. It feels so damn good that the G-Unit rapper moans in his mouth but it is not heard because of how deep and intimate the kiss between them is. The rocking of the hips continues along with the raw kissing and the carnal groping. Lloyd Banks' is pretty sure his hands have touched every part of his lover's body; an accomplishment he is proud of, as he cups the back of the DTP rapper's head to enhance the kiss to its fullest potential. No feeling is spared. No emotion untouched. Hearts fly away for the moment and their bodies work as one true element.
The pair oppositely faces each other and takes the other's dick into their eager mouths to continue their one way trip to the end of time. Both rappers work each other's dicks in and out of their mouths, too caught up in the own world they share to care about the real outside one. It is irrelevant. Everything is. Ludacris licks and sucks on the dark pink head of his man's pulsating member and uses his teeth to sweetly graze against the overly sensitive tip. This pushes Banks over the cliff but he knows he will be pushed over the same cliff many more times this night; he savors the feeling though. The G-Unit rapper hungrily devours the light rod in front of him like Giselle did to him. He mocks some of her previous movements from their one night stand because he wants to make this man feel good. His man. 50 Cent will not overpower his mind and cause him to mess up something this good again. That part of his life is done. It is strictly professional now. It is all about the southern rapper and the passion both knows is a factor between them. It is growing and spiraling.
The DTP rapper tilts his body once again and their lips meet and settle onto the other man's. "God. I missed you Chris," he says as their lips come undone.
"Really?"
"Yea baby. Can't get you outta my head."
"What about---"
"Shh," he says while cutely pressing his index finger onto his boyfriend's soft lips. Lloyd Banks does him one better and starts licking and sucking on the extended digit. "Hey. No fair," Ludacris pouts like a small child. It is extremely adorable and appealing.
"That'll teach you to try and quiet me Bri," Banks slyly remarks after he stops pleasuring the index finger.
"Oh yea?"
"Yea."
"We'll talk about this later."
"Maybe we will or maybe we won't," he toys.
"We'll see. You ready?"
"Are you?" the younger rapper counters as he smiles. Ludacris has had him ready and waiting for a long time now. He just needed to realize it.
"Come and kiss me."
The G-Unit member lifts his head from the bed and connects his lips to his boyfriend's with no objection. Their lips fit so perfectly well together. It is so amazing how another man can have him feeling all these things he thought only a woman could have him feeling. It will not be questioned further because he does not care and his main focus is being pushed off that final cliff. Ludacris' tongue seals his lips and he sits up erect on the center or his comfortable bed. Lloyd Banks will have to slide down onto his man's hard rod. He crosses his legs for that extra support and nods at the young rapper when he is ready. He sensually makes his way over to the boyfriend and begins to mount him. Their lips immediately find each other's through all the bliss as Banks settles his body onto the southern rapper's lap. Both their quivering and attention deprived poles massage against each other's while they reap all the benefits of the reward. Being so close to him again inevitably makes the night already worth it for the DTP rapper. He will never be able to get over it.
Ludacris firmly holds the base of his dick still as he feels the man on top of him begin to force himself down the slick shaft. It hurts but not as much as the first time. He feels so tight though; this makes it all the more erotic and pleasurable. Banks' harsh grunts and winces of pain are drowned out by his lover's lips on his; this makes the pain feel substantially dull compared to before. The hard, caramel colored member slowly starts disappears inside him and his warm insides does its best to try and accommodate its newest guest. Their tongues mingle as it continues to go in. Lloyd Banks wrap his arms tightly around the other rapper's body, both for support and affection, as everything finally is gone inside him. His body takes a few moments to adjust but it is not the first time and he become impatient. The southern rapper senses this and starts softly bouncing up and down on the bed, his dick touching more of his lover's insides. It is very slow at first because both men have to get their deprived bodies used to it all once again. The pain and pleasure.
Lips suck on each other's while the G-Unit rapper starts plowing his now open hole onto his boyfriend's rock hard manhood. This is something he wants. He needs. They are connected once again and it is the best feeling in the world. His tattooed body bounces up and down as Ludacris tries to synchronize the low dips with his powerful thrusts so he can go even deeper into the man he is holding on to so tightly. It works because Banks starts seeing multicolored flecks of light before his eyes; his spot is being touched and teased unmercifully. He grunts and bucks his hips wildly as his had dick pokes into the DTP rapper's stomach. Their motion and rhythm become smooth and they ride it out until the end. Lloyd Banks riding him once again after so long only manages to reinforce his one feelings and willpower. This is meant to be in every way possible. They are meant to be together. The two lovers kiss passionately and provocatively while fingers dig into skin and red stains emerge. The Moon and stars bend to their wicked lovemaking.
The southern rapper grabs onto those smooth, slender hips that belong to him as his pulsating pole tunnels and probes all of his man's insides he can possible reach to and touch. Banks closes his eyes as another kiss is stolen from him and his body starts to become overwhelmed with everything that is happening to him. In a moment it can all be gone. All of it will be robbed from them both. In one swift action, Ludacris jerks his body forward and his lover crashes onto the bed. He readjusts himself between the younger rapper's legs and enters him once again. Lloyd Banks opens his legs and feels when they, along with his hips, are cradled and his boyfriend's thrusts are more powerful, faster, and devious than ever before. He is close to release; they both are. He closes his legs around his lover's body and holds on tightly as he receives the ride of his life. The DTP rapper knows what he is doing and feels himself getting dangerously close to falling off that final cliff. It is something they both anxiously need for the night to be complete. That final frontier.
The hardcore G-Unit rapper pulls his man over into a kiss and keeps their lips connected as his hands sensually snake down his own body, which is coated with goosebumps by now, to reach his aching and forgotten dick. His hand immediately coils around the turgid shaft and begins pumping the steady flow of precum out of it. The sticky liquid lands on his flat stomach as he continues to work his meat into his hands in search of the ultimate freedom. Friction between their bodies is an unbridled force and Ludacris continues with his fast paced and extremely arousing plows. Lloyd Banks' entire lower body feels sore from the speed and he knows he will have a swagger in his walk tomorrow because of it. Although pleasure is the only thing registering to him at the moment, he will feel the consequences of his actions when his adrenaline stops flowing freely and everything comes back into perspective. The DTP rapper breaks the kiss and moans loudly as he feels the rush. Both cum at the very same time, almost as if it is planned. It is done.
"Fuck!" the DJ turned rapper pants and grasps for air as he drops onto his bed. "Damn! Never knew it could be like this---"
Lloyd Banks suddenly feels cold and gathers the heavy blanket over his body after pulling his lover close to his body and kissing him. "Shit!"
"You cold?"
"Yea. But I got you to warm me up now."
"Oh yea? I'm liking the sound of that," the older rapper says as he pulls the blanket over his naked body as well. Their lips form a bond together.
"What's this mean? For us?"
"I'm not sure."
The G-Unit rapper looks at the other man in the dark. "What you want it to be?"
"I dunno."
"You gotta gimme more than that baby."
"I don't know Chris. I don't know."
"You gotta know what you want."
"I do," he states with a sturdy confidence.
"Yea? What is it?"
"You."
"What about before?"
"Fuck that! I don't care about before. I said some fucked up shit I wanna take back. I just didn't know how to handle it."
"It's gonna work this time Bri baby."
"Yea? How?"
"I finally realize what I want and he isn't it. We on a professional relationship now."
Ludacris' insides light up at the good news but the caring person inside him emerge and ask, "What happened?"
"All the fighting and blaming and shit got old. I can't deal with it anymore so I forced myself hard to get over everything. So I did."
"Are you okay babe?"
"Yea and no. He'll always be my boy. No matter what. You gotta realize that---"
"I do. I get it. I was never jealous of him."
"What?"
"I was jealous of what you felt for him," the older man honestly admits. "I wanted you to feel that for me."
"He can't come between us this time. I promise okay? I won't let him."
"Maybe us breaking it off the first time was a good thing then---"
"Why you say that?" Lloyd Banks asks as he stares as the man in the light of the Moon. His skin is creamy and looks silky. He wants to kiss him again.
"I didn't wanna force you to deal with your feelings for him. You had to do it on your own. If I had forced you then you would've blamed me and hated me for pushing you so far."
"I guess."
"You really think it can work?"
"You want it to work?"
The southern rapper looks at his boyfriend. His most prized possession in the whole world. "I really want you. I really want this to work for us Chris."
"Why?"
He smiles. "Okay. I'll say it. But I swear, if your ego gets any bigger I'll kick yo ass."
"I'm listening," Banks replies devilishly.
"You distract me. From that first night. And then that night in the alley. That kiss."
"I remember---"
"I couldn't concentrate. Had to force myself to get my work done. Had to keep busy to keep my mind off you. Messed up so many times in the studio. A whole bunch of shit."
"I'm distracting huh?"
"Don't play. You knew what you were doing to me. I had to get at you again," Ludacris tells him. Everything he says is the truth.
"So we on this thing for good?"
"Yea. You my G-unit baby boy now."
"You selfish. I belong to the fans only kid."
"I'll have to change that then."
The G-Unit member smiles to himself. Something inside him is glowing. "You can try."
"I sure can," he says before the challenge is formalized with a sweet and innocent kiss.
It is the most carefree feeling in the world. Nothing is said as both rappers embrace each other and their future. They no longer can run or play games with it. It is evident now. Lloyd Banks keeps on being impressed with Ludacris with every new day. His house is simply amazing; his personality one of a kind. Nothing like his stage image; this fact goes for both of them. There is a safe and secure comfort level there and the feeling is overwhelming to finally be able to share their true selves with someone else. The southern rapper has his arm around his prize and kisses him on the forehead as they continue to cuddle and let their thoughts run rampant throughout the endless vortex of their minds. He knows it is there, in the back of his head, but it is too soon. Way too soon for that. They, instead, kiss sweetly to wrap the night up. They are together. The G-Unit rapper is his and 50 Cent is no threat to their relationship this time. The lovers begin to drift away from their bodies as time begins to fly away. Everything is at rest for the night. It is perfectly still.
A stagnant blanket drapes over the inanimate objects of the house as the light of the Sun fights away the looming and mysterious shadows of the dark. Both rappers continue to sleep; they are now on opposite sides of the bed with pillows all over the floor. In an instant, Ludacris' body jerks him awake because he has to use the bathroom. It is only seven when he finishes and he cannot go back to sleep so he brushes his teeth and washes his face. In the bedroom again, he sits next to his man and innocently gazes at him as he sleeps. The hardcore façade is completely gone now; Lloyd Banks is so cute and adorable. He wants to kiss him, to make the man his again. The DTP rapper suppresses every urge he feels within himself as he surveys his lover. Not able to handle it anymore, he leaves his bedroom and heads downstairs and into the kitchen. The DJ turned rapper wants breakfast. He wants to treat Banks to a special breakfast because he feels it is the right thing to do. The right thing he wants to do. The kitchen breathes life for him to begin his work.
Aromas and scents start to float through the air as the Atlanta rapper starts to make a breakfast consisting of eggs, bacon, and waffles for the both of them. He has fallen hard for the man sleeping upstairs in his bedroom, on his bed. He still feels high; last night has not worn off of him and it is a scary thought because he knows the reason for his body's actions. Ludacris expertly utilizes his kitchen to prepare the meal of breakfast for the both of them. His stomach growls at the slight taste of food and he goes through his overly large pantry, hoping there is syrup there. A sigh of relief is breathed when he sees a small bottle of it and he finishes off the meal with orange juice. The southern rapper places everything on a sturdy tray and walks it upstairs to surprise his boyfriend with breakfast in bed. He is crazy over Lloyd Banks. The G-Unit member is still sleeping as he enters the room and carefully rests the food on the lower half of the bed before taking in the sight before him again. Now comes the fun part, waking his rapping boyfriend up. He moves suavely.
The excited rap star moves closer until he is hovering only a few inches away from the other man and then moves in for a kiss. "Time to get up kid."
"Umph," Lloyd Banks is incoherently unresponsive as he turns around and presses a pillow into his head.
"Come on baby. Don't make me do it."
"I'm tired," he whines. "Leave me alone."
He crawls onto the bed more and rests his lips along the younger rapper's ear. "I got something for you---"
"Lemme sleep Bri."
"I'm gonna kick you outta my bed."
The G-Unit rapper sighs loudly before finally sitting up on the comfortable bed and rubbing his eyes. "This isn't gonna work man."
"What? Why?"
"I like sleep. Don't wake up early unless I got shit to do."
"You do got something to do."
"Naw. I don't."
"Yea you do Chris," the Atlanta rapper remains elusive.
"What I gotta do huh?"
"Eat breakfast," he says as he motions his eyes to the tray full of food a short distance away from them.
"What's this?"
"Breakfast. In bed."
"You made me breakfast?"
"Yep."
The slender rapper is floored. This is the second time another man has cooked for him. "I---I."
"There's an extra toothbrush in the bathroom."
"I'll be back. I'm hungry too."
Lloyd Banks, realizing he is naked, scrambles for a pair of boxers before heading into the bathroom. The Atlanta rapper smiles at the view he gets early in the morning as something familiar begins to stir within his pants. That battle will have to wait for later, if there is a later. The near future is not promised to either man so it is not thought about as much. Snowfall has ceased overnight as the Sun makes the white paradise glisten with the promise and hope of another day. Ludacris sips a glass of orange juice as he continues to sit on the bed and wait for his lover so they can get the meal of breakfast under way. The G-Unit rapper scrubs his pearly white teeth and brushes his gums before washing his face and capturing all the excess liquid within a nearby towel. He emerges into the room and kisses his man good morning before sitting next to him and enjoying breakfast. The pair eat and talk and before long, everything is gone and both rap stars are more than satisfied. The tray with dirty dishes is put on the floor next to the bed, temporarily forgotten.
"Damn! That was great babe! Where'd you lean to cook like that?" the younger rapper asks.
"Myself. Basically taught myself how to do everything."
"Oh word? A self made man then huh?"
"Wouldn't have it any other way. So," Ludacris eyes him. "You got a reward for me?"
"Depends on what kinda reward you want."
"What I know I deserve for cooking yo ass breakfast. Now get over here and gimme what I want."
"Demanding ass. I got you though." Lloyd Banks moves over to his boyfriend and their lips find their way to each other's. The moment shared is sensual and sweet between the two of them. "Happy?"
"Now I am. That tasted better than breakfast I think."
"So did you. Thanks Bri. That was sweet."
"I know. I'm a sweet kinda guy."
"Don't push it."
"Never that Chris. What you gotta do today?" the Atlanta rapper asks as he reaches for a pillow and lies down next to his man's body. The slender man automatically rests his hands on his stomach. Each body thrives on the touch.
"Dunno. I hope nothing though. I wanna stay right here. You gotta head out?"
"Probably later. My morning's free. At the moment. You know shit be poppin' up outta nowhere sometimes."
"I feel ya. It's all about that paper though."
"Not all the time. It could be about other things."
"Like what?" Banks asks.
"I dunno."
"You gonna tell me what I saw yesterday now or what?"
"Huh? What you talkin' about?" Ludacris grows slightly nervous.
"Don't play with me. I know you hiding something. I saw it---"
"When you looked in my eyes?"
"Yea. What is it baby? What's going on?"
"I can't---" he begins. It is still too soon.
"You can't what?"
"There was nothing there Chris. I swear."
The younger rapper eyes him suspiciously before laying his body next to his. Their heads touch together. "I know what I saw. Something's there. Don't tell me I'm wrong."
"I like you Chris. I really like you."
"I know baby. I like you too. A lot."
"And I meant what I said last night. I couldn't concentrate on anything after we had that fight. It was so fuckin' hard and frustrating."
"Trust me; I know the feeling real damn good."
"You right. There is something there."
"What? What you hidin'? What you tryin' to say Chris?"
The DJ turned rapper sighs and looks up at the ceiling. He physically cannot look anywhere else. "I---I think I love you."
"You what?" Lloyd Banks asks in a soft and confused and insecure tone. It deserves to be said aloud once again.
"I know it's so soon baby but I can't help how I feel around you."
"But it's so soon and are you sure and---"
"I know. I know. All these questions are in my head too. But when we weren't together all I did was think about you. How you felt. How you tasted. Your smile."
"I dunno what to say."
He continues to pierce two holes through the ceiling. "You said you saw something in my eyes and that's it. I think I love you Chris."
"Bri baby, I---"
"Don't worry. I know it's too soon for you to say it back. Trust me, I wasn't expecting it. But you gotta know how I feel and now you do."
"Come here."
The younger rapper grabs his boyfriend into a tight and meaningful hug because it is all so confusing and hard now. Hearing those words manages to knock the wind out of him and he does not know which way is up from down at the moment. His brain is working overtime to come up with something to say or do to rectify the situation but when nothing becomes available, the silence lingers in the air. Ludacris holds on to him tightly and they share a sensual kiss because the last thing either man wants is for their relationship to get awkward. Lloyd Banks knows deep down that he can admit that he loves the man he is embracing right now because it is the truth. He cannot say the words now because they will become ruined. His strong feelings also scare him but hearing the southern rapper put it out in public first gives him the confidence he needs to say it himself. The way he makes the G-Unit rapper feel is no coincidence and is way more than he could feel for 50. It will not be said now though. Time begins to become limited. The small window is gone.
It is hard to say goodbye to the romantic little rendezvous the two lovers find themselves in but work is gnawing away at each. The get back to their lives and leave their bodies wondering when the next time they will meet up will be. Lloyd Banks heads back to New York while his boyfriend attends to some business in Atlanta before heading to Miami to make some special appearances. It is hard for the both of them but this is the way of life. Their lives. Ludacris saying those three words still has him thrown off but his insides are addicted to it. Someone loves him. Someone wants to make him happy. The younger rap star finds solace in these thoughts when the separation becomes unbearably hard. Phone conversations between the two help but it is not the same. It will never be. Banks checks into his hotel for the night, having been out all day running numerous errands. The bellhop leaves his suitcases at the door and the G-Unit member tips him generously before he leaves. He showers and eats. His man's voice is the last thing he hears before bed.