Hunger for More 23
~> The story written below is purely fictional. Not a fraction of truth is riddled between these words nor does the author imply that there should be. Most of the events in the pages to follow are created in the author's mind and thus should not be taken as fact in any way. He takes no responsibility for any illegal activity such as underage reading because it is done without his knowledge or sanction. The story's solitary intention is that of entertainment and nothing beyond.
~> Plagiarism of any part of this, or any other story without the author's consent is immoral and not to mention unlawful.
~> Inquiries and opinions are encouraged. Send your thoughts to jc71883@hotmail.com and put something related to the story on the subject line so the author does not overlook it.
The Sun is out for a long while before Banks begins to notice it because of how tired he is and how late he got in last night. It is around one in the afternoon when he finally wakes up and orders himself something to eat. He is due at the studio later on in the afternoon to lace down a verse for a remix tape so he utilizes his time wisely by sitting and trying to concentrate on what he will rap about on the record. A pen and pad helps him keep track of everything he wants to get out and before he knows it, a solid verse is staring back at him. The G-Unit member smiles to himself and rests the notepad next to him before he takes a deep breath and then goes to get ready to head out. A team is already at the studio when the young rapper arrives and after greetings and small talk, they all busily get to work. Lloyd Banks warms up his voice and drinks plenty of water because he wants to close this remix as fast as he possibly can and get out of here. Once the producers make the minor adjustments to the verse, he goes into the recording booth and shuts it down.
Much to his satisfaction, Lloyd Banks finishes up in the studio within a reasonable time and is back in the car when his phone goes off in his pant pocket. "Yea?" he asks once he flips it open.
"Ay boy. It's me."
"What's going on Fifty?"
"Chillin' at the crib. You still out in the west coast?"
"Naw. Finished up out there and I'm back out here."
"Why you ain't call me?" 50 Cent asks. He knows they are professional friends but he cannot accept that.
"Got busy. Caught the redeye last night then got some rest and then went out again. The life of a rapper never stops. You know that."
"Too damn well. Where you at now?"
"Heading back to the room. I just put down a verse for a remix record. I got a lot more to go. And some mix tapes in the works too."
"You busier than me these days Chris," he observes as he laughs a little.
"You know what you gotta do to keep your record goin' strong."
"No doubt. Do you. Don't burn out though."
"Why would you say that?" Banks asks, confused. He does not know whether the comment is meant as an insult.
"I'm looking out for you man---"
"You don't think I can handle it?"
"I didn't say that Chris. Calm down," the buff rapper protests. "We not gonna fight man."
"Yea."
"You aight?"
"Yea."
"What you doing tomorrow?"
The G-Unit member thinks hard. He keeps himself in check because fighting with his former best friend is not good for either of them at this point. It is only useless. "Not sure. Don't think I got anything planned. Why?"
"I'm gonna hang out with Tré . Come with me. He hasn't seen his uncle in a minute."
"I miss my lil' soldier but I'm---"
"Then come chill with us. You can't say no to Tré ."
Is 50 using Marquise to get to him? It can't be like that. "I dunno man. It doesn't seem---"
"Come on. You know how much he loves you and misses you. You hate me that much Chris?"
The question takes the slender rapper by complete surprise and he is shocked by the other man's bluntness. "What? Who said I hate you?"
"Don't you? We ain't friends anymore."
"I thought we wasn't gonna fight?"
"We ain't. I'm just saying the truth."
"Whatever. Count me in. I gotta see my boy," Lloyd Banks says in an almost spiteful tone. Something he comes to regret.
"I'll come get you tomorrow."
"Straight."
"Aight. Later man."
"Peace."
He enters his hotel suite a short while later, a little upset and frustrated. Why does he still let 50 Cent get to him the way he does? After all this time? Banks relaxes with a quick, soothing shower and orders dinner but loses his appetite when the food arrives and dismisses it. New thoughts are swimming in his mind and he does not know what they mean or how to control them. He wants to see Marquise badly but is not sure of what will happen once he sees 50 tomorrow. Will he lose all the progress he has made on his own? The rapper is only going for the six-year-old. He and the boy's father are friends on a strictly professional level and nothing more. It cannot be anything more. The G-Unit member cuddles up on the sofa and flicks through the late night TV programs and yawns. His body wins the fight for sleep and he flicks off the television and heads into his bedroom, where he disrobes and gets into bed by himself. Ludacris is not there to hold and kiss him and he feels lonely. Lights dance on his face as he falls asleep with his head hurting.
The morning rises in the horizon and the stressed out rapper is up because he could not get any sleep last night. 50 Cent and their conversation still lingers on his mind as he stares up at the ceiling and wonders what he did to make such a mess of his life. His emotions are haywire and he physically needs his boyfriend to be there to comfort him and tell him that everything will be alright. He decides not to call him at the moment because he knows the southern rapper is busy so he will do it after he hangs out with Marquise today. Lloyd Banks hops out of bed and rubs his eyes as he walks toward the bathroom to get ready to see his little man. A shower and breakfast subsides the headache and he starts to feel better, and excited. He cannot allow 50 to keep getting him the way he has been. And it is only him. After he receives a confirmation call to see if they are still on, Banks relaxes himself in his suite and watches TV until his former best friends comes to pick him up. Hopefully he will have Marquise with him so the ride will not be weird and awkward.
The fates mock him because when 50 arrives to get him, he is alone. They are alone in the car together and although Banks does not let it bother him, it does because he does not know what to say to the older rapper. There are numerous bouts of dreaded silence until either man says something off the wall or forced so the ride does not end up being in complete silence. 50 Cent does not know why he is letting the awkwardness get to him as much as he is but he knows something is wrong with him. He has thoughts that are not like him and they manage to consume him. Lloyd Banks stares out the window to the summery-like New York day, eager to finally get Marquise in the car. Once the SUV pulls up into that familiar neighborhood, both men secretly sigh relief to themselves as the vehicle twists and turns to follow the road to their destination. It stops in front of the gate and both G-Unit members get out and walk up toward the house. They do not walk side by side because the younger rapper is uncomfortable being so close to the other man after everything.
"Let's get this boy," 50 says affectionately as the duo steps up to the door.
"Yea," Banks replies shortly before the other man pounds on the door.
It opens. "Hi Curtis. Chris? What are you doing here? It's so good to see you again," his former girlfriend says as she hugs them both.
"It's good to see you too."
"Again?" the superstar rapper questions "When did you see him?"
"Not too long ago. He came by to hang out with Marquise."
"Really?" 50 Cent looks at him and wonders why he didn't even bother to tell him any of this.
"Yea. Guess I must've forgotten to tell you man," he tries to play it off. He is in a hard position and begins to feel it.
"Guess so. Where is he? Got his dad and his favorite uncle here to spend the day with him."
"He's going to be so excited to know both of you are here. Come on in. He's still upstairs getting ready."
They all enter the modest home and the two guests take seats in the living room while Marquise's mother walks over to the stairs. "Marquise sweetheart. Your father is here. Are you ready?" she asks.
"Yes mom. I'm coming now," the six-year-old hollers back, unable to contain his exhilaration.
"You guys want anything to drink?" she asks both men when she returns to the living room.
"No," the pair of rappers reply simultaneously.
Lloyd Banks' cell phone rings. He looks at it and says, "I'll be back. Does that door lead outside?"
"Yes. Just follow the hallway," Marquise's mother says.
Once the sliding door closes behind the younger rapper, he picks up his phone. "Hey."
"What up Chris?" Ludacris asks his man.
"Not much. Let me call you later tonight baby. I'm in the middle of something."
"Everything good with you? Something sounds up."
"I'll tell you about it tonight Bri. I gotta go."
"Okay. I love you," the southern rapper easily says.
"Love you too kid. Peace."
He follows the path back inside and his eyes light up with he sees the little boy. "Chris!" Marquise excitedly says as he runs over and almost rushes Lloyd Banks onto the floor. They hug tightly.
"What up squirt? I guess you miss me huh?"
"Yep! I didn't know you were coming too."
"Surprise Tré . I got your Uncle Chris to hang with us," the rap star says sweetly.
"You mean it? You're gonna hang out with daddy and me?"
"All day baby boy. Until you get tired of me."
"That's never gonna happen. Let's go!" the youth exclaims.
"You ready to kick it in Central Park lil' boy?" 50 asks as he lovingly ruffles his son's hair. He is so precious.
"Yep! Let's go."
"Be careful you three," his mothers hollers after them before they leave. "Take care of him Curtis."
"Don't worry. We'll catch up with you later."
All three exit the house and make their way to the ride that is patiently hugging the curb of the street waiting for them. 50 Cent helps his son into the SUV and gets in after while Banks walks around to the other side and enters the vehicle from there. It takes off and the once awkward and somewhat forced conversation the inside of the SUV has been forced to endure is now replaced with laughter and playfulness. All because of Marquise Jackson. The two rap superstars gently tickle, taunt, and tease the six-year-old as his howls and screams of pleasure files through the entire vehicle. Once he concedes defeat, the two pair of hands tormenting him back off and allow him to catch his breath and regain his composure. The Escalade roars through the crowded streets of the infamous city as the three guys in the back talk and catch up with the honorary member of G-Unit. Lloyd Banks is happy that he chose not to stay away because the problems he and 50 are having does not matter when the little boy is in the picture. He is the glue presently holding them as one.
It is apparent that both men love the child very much and their differences, no matter how drastic, cannot change or hinder that. Once they are almost there, they lower their hats closer to their faces and zip up their jackets because now is not the time to be recognized and swamped with fans. Today is all about Marquise and hanging out with him. 50 instructs the driver on when to be back to pick them up while Lloyd Banks bends down slightly so the little boy can securely jump onto his back. A piggyback rides ensues as the SUV speeds off and the buff rapper cannot help but notice how happy his son looks right now. Everything looks so right. It feels so right and it chills him down to his bones. It is a scary thought to finally realize what he wants and acknowledge that it was always what he wanted. The G-Unit member continues to stare at the special interaction between Banks and his one and only son. The trio venture deeper into the park to find a secluded spot so they can enjoy their day together. The slender rap star feels a sense of delight.
They walk a manmade path further into the woods of the renowned Central Park until a simple and cozy picnic area arises from beyond the woods. It is perfect and is uninhabited. The young rapper wiggles his back, to give the allusion that he is losing grip of his precious cargo, to get a rise out of Marquise. It works as the six-year-old grabs on tightly to Banks' neck because he is scared that he is going to fall off. He laughs as he walks over and sets his former best friend's child down on a wooden bench and sits next to him to soak up all the fresh air that is surrounding them. 50 Cent makes his way over to the bench and sits on the other side of his son. Nothing is said in the moment of pure silence; birds calling to their mates and children playing are heard from all around. 50 looks down at the little boy carefully nestled between him and his fellow G-Unit member; his eyes are wide with amazement and looking around rapidly, and take in the sight of his son happy and relaxed. For this, he is peaceful, pleased, and grateful for them being here.
"Can I go play dad?" the little boy asks as he looks up to his father.
"Stay where Chris and I can see you Tré . It's easy to get lost out here," the father in him speaks up.
"Okay I will."
Marquise hops off the bench and runs off to find something to play with. "He's a good lil' man," Lloyd Banks comments as his eyes are on the six-year-old.
"Nothing like me huh?"
"I wouldn't say all that---"
"I would. He's just like his mother. He only looks like me. I'm glad he's not like me."
"Why you say that?"
"Because. I love him the way he is. He gives me more advice than I give him. It's like I depend on him more than he depends on me," 50 Cent starts to say. A small, vulnerable part of himself is emerging.
"It's hard to raise a child now."
"She's doing a great job with him isn't she?"
"You both are," Banks says as he offers a warm smile. He has since picked up a naked branch and is using it as a sword to banish evil.
"I gotta keep trying. For him."
"I know C. Don't beat yourself up about it. You doin' the right thing."
He sighs. "It seems like when I start to improve in one aspect of my life, then another suffers."
"What you mean?" The slim rapper does not follow.
"Me and you. I'm trying to be there for him but now our relationship is suffering."
"Curtis---"
The rap superstar looks at the man next to him. "You don't have to say anything. I get it."
"Do you?"
"No. I don't. But if it's what you want then I'm gonna respect that. Can't be selfish anymore you know?"
The G-Unit member keeps his eyes on the small child playing in front of them. He does not know what he will see if he looks at 50 right now and he does not want to. "I never said you were being selfish---"
"Naw I was. You was right `bout everything. I was wrong. Handled everything the wrong way."
"Where's all this coming from?"
He looks over at his once best friend. "You wanted to know everything. So I'm tryin' to tell you---"
"Back then Curtis. Back when all that shit was coming between us."
"I know. It's late and lame---"
"What do you want here?" Lloyd Banks cuts him off. His eyes are still glued to Marquise, who is still swinging his sword like a brave knight.
50 Cent looks up into the clear sky, not a single cloud looms overhead. His pride is shot and this is the only means by which he can admit it. "I want you. I want to be friends again. I miss you Chris. I miss kickin' it with my home boy."
"I---"
"Why can't you give me a second chance? I never meant for things to go as far as it did with us that night."
"But it did. It went all the way and we can't take that shit back."
"I know. I know. Guess I'm just being selfish again."
"I don't think things can just go back to how they used to be," Banks surmises. Their talk is hard for him to endure.
"I guess some part of me was expecting it to."
"It's different now---"
"Why?" he asks, almost defensively. For a brief instant, their eyes meet and bind together.
"We slept together Curtis. Then you pushed me away and acted like the shit never happened. How you think that made me feel? Shit, I was just as confused as you about it all---"
"No you weren't. You wanted it to happen remember?" he says in an almost spiteful tone.
"Yea. So? You think I seduced you or something?"
"I didn't say that Chris. I don't wanna fight. I really don't," 50 tries to explain. He cannot say what he really wants to say. He cannot do what he really wants to do. His eyes are on his son.
"You see why it's best to just keep this thing business only? Right there."
"It worked before---"
"We slept with each other." His sentence is finished for him. "It can't work now. I know it and you know it."
The older rapper does not say anything; he instead gets up from the wooden bench and walks over to his son and picks him up before softly kissing him wherever his lips can reach. The father and son pair play on the grass as Banks looks on. How can he continually say the things he keeps saying to him? That major issue will never be resolved between them and the conversation that transpired moments ago only manages to solidify that notion. He continues to observe the muscular man sweetly play with the tiny life next to him; the two of them are so much alike. Marquise looks so much like his father and inherits his engaging and overwhelmingly innocent eyes. The same eyes that Lloyd Banks gets lost in and is almost never able to find his way back to reality. They look so perfect together and he does not want to intrude in on their moment together as father and son. The G-Unit member finds a branch on the floor and the two play at sword fighting until the six-year-old loses his weapon. He quickly grabs it again and the action continues.
After a while, Lloyd Banks sees the little boy walking over to him and when he grabs onto his hand, he cannot refuse and follows him over to where he and his father are playing. The trio plays together, despite everything going on between the two rappers, until it is past lunchtime. Marquise complains of hunger and after everyone drops their swords, they make their way back to civilization and to find themselves something to eat. 50 Cent is immediately on his cell phone to get his driver back and once he returns, they speed off to find something to satisfy their stomachs. Although things are tense between them, the younger rapper is happy that he is here because it is so rarely he gets to hang out with his six-year-old best friend. No one can take that away from him. The threesome end up at a small pizzeria café and sit down to a very late lunch. It is almost three when their food comes and they enjoy themselves. After devouring through two large pizzas, Banks pays the insignificant bill and they head out of the restaurant with full stomachs.
50 informs the driver to just cruise around the large city so he can show his son some of the sites he has yet to see and that is how they will be spending the rest of the day together. Both rappers do their best to show the small child the wonders of the city of New York and have a fun time being tour guides for the day. Lloyd Banks' mind is still full with the conversation from before but he gives it all up to spend this precious time with Marquise. It is all about him anyway and he can deal with his searing emotions later. 50 Cent wrestles with him in the back of the SUV and when he is out of breath, he gets his son a bottle of water from the refrigerator of his customized ride. The boy relaxes and when the Moon fights the Sun away, he falls asleep on his father's lap. Banks strokes his slender arm as he sleeps and looks up at 50, whose eyes are piercing through the small life that is using his leg as a pillow. After giving the driver new instructions, nothing else is said within the vehicle as an uncomfortable silence befalls it. He keeps his eyes outside.
It is around eight in the night when their ride returns to the house. 50 Cent immediately gets out and carefully scoops his sleeping son into his arms; the boy's head rests on his strong shoulder as they walk toward the house. Lloyd Banks is behind him and takes in the sight of a father and his precious son once again. Seeing this side of his once best friend is doing something to him; something he does not want to happen or exist within himself. In a split second, he remembers brushing off Ludacris earlier to spend this time with the pair in front of him and he suddenly wants to get back to his room so he can hear his man's voice. All in all, the G-Unit rapper considers the day a success because he got to hang out with Marquise; his main purpose for going along with this day. Banks sweetly kisses his little friend's hand to say goodbye before he watches his father take him upstairs and to his room. In the immaculately clean room of his six-year-old son, 50 rests his tiny body onto his bed and draws the covers over him. A kiss signifies goodnight.
The ride is uneasy back to the other rapper's hotel; barely anything meaningful is said and both men are too consumed in their thoughts to say much. 50 Cent uncomfortably looks out the window into city flying by and then fiddles with his cell phone before repeating the process once more. He does not know what to do with himself. After an awkward and hurtful ride back to Lloyd Banks' hotel, the pair softly and uncertainly voices their goodbyes and part ways. The buff rapper cannot keep his eyes off his friend as he walks into the hotel and disappears. His life is too much of a mess for him to handle. How did things become this uncontrollable? The G-Unit star enters his suite and strips off his clothes when he reaches the bedroom. Banks takes an extremely long shower to wash away every piece of stress and hurt the day brought with it but aside from it all; he truly had fun spending the day with his little soldier Marquise. Once he slips on a pair of boxers and black sweatpants, he finds his phone and starts looking for what he wants.
The tired superstar lies on his bed and hears the phone ringing against his eardrum. "I was wonderin' when you was gonna call me back. I called you two times baby," Ludacris' sexy southern voice fills the line.
"Tryin' to keep tabs on me kid?"
"Naw. Nothin' like that. Busy day?"
"You could say that. What up Bri?"
"Chillin' out at the hotel in Miami."
"What you doin' down there?" Banks questions his man.
"Had another meeting with some of my new artists. I'm lying in bed all alone and with---"
"You ain't the only one nigga. My bed's lonely too."
"Aww. Sorry babe. Can't surprise you right now. Though I wish I could," the DTP rapper sweetly says. "So what'd you do today that was so important that you left me all alone?"
"You wasn't left alone kid. You just said you was with artists all day. Why you tryin' to make me feel guilty for?"
He becomes serious and asks, "Is there a reason you should feel guilty? What'd you do today Chris?"
"I went to Central Park."
"By yourself?"
"No. With Marquise," the young rapper states.
"Fifty's son? How's the lil' dude?"
"Straight. He was there too---" Lloyd Banks finally comes clean. He does not know why he is this nervous.
"Fifty?"
"Yea."
There is a silence. "What'd you guys do?"
"Just chill and play with the squirt. And talk."
"What about?" Ludacris is more than curious to know. A small part of him is jealous but that feeling is not a valid one to be experiencing.
"I dunno."
"You okay baby?"
"Are you mad at me? For not telling you before?" The G-Unit rapper has to know because he cannot have conflict right now.
"A little but I know I'm not supposed to be."
"Why you say that?"
"Because. I know you. I'm not jealous of that nigga. I know you was there for the lil' boy."
Silence makes itself known once again. "That's what I was there for."
"He say something to you?"
"We should try to be friends again and we should forget that night and---"
His boyfriend cuts him off and asks, "So y'all fought again?"
"I dunno what happened," the slender rapper honestly says. "One minute we sitting there watching Marquise play and then the next we start talking about it."
"You aight?"
"Yea. Yea. Just sick of it already."
"You think he used his son to talk to you?"
Banks looks out the window and then up at the ceiling. The night is so still and peaceful around him. "What you mean?"
"That he took the opportunity of you hanging out with Marquise to get you to talk to him and try and fix it. A setup."
"I don't think so. I dunno."
"You gotta watch him," the southern rapper says in a biased voice.
"Come on Bri. It's not like that. Even with everything that happened, he's still my boy. I still got mad respect for him."
"Does he have respect for you Chris?"
"He does."
"I can't see you get hurt baby. You mean too much to me---" the Atlanta DJ turned rapper starts.
"You care `bout me?"
"You know I do. I love you remember?"
"I know. You know I love you too right?"
"Sometimes I wonder---"
"What?" Lloyd Banks asks in a slightly raised voice.
"Chill," he begins to laugh. "I'm just messin' thug boy. I know you do."
"You gonna get yours nigga. Real soon."
"That's all good but when am I gonna get at yours again? That's what I really want. Especially now."
"Horny?"
"Yea baby! It's been a hard day if you know what I mean."
"Use the hand," he teases and laughs.
"Fuck that! I got a man to do that for me now. But seriously baby, I need you to be careful around that nigga. I know you trust him and shit but watch your back. If he hurts you I swear I'll kill him."
"Bri baby. Chill out."
"I'm serious," the DTP rap star says sternly. "You don't deserve his shit."
"And he don't deserve mine. It works both ways. Just relax okay? We not in an official relationship remember?"
"Fuck that shit. You said you love me. I said I love you. Shit doesn't get any more official to me. Regardless of anything."
"So we officially a couple then?"
"Been that way since way back when. You gotta get with it Chris," the older man says cutely.
"I love you."
"I love you. I'll call you tomorrow."
"Night baby."
"Peace."
Lloyd Banks cannot help but feel a little guilty. Of course he only went to the park today to relax with Marquise but he knows hidden deep down inside him, a minute part was there for 50 Cent. To see him. To be near him. These feelings are confusing him more than ever because he knows he loves Ludacris. He does not understand why he is still thinking about the buff rapper this way ever after he makes it clear time after time that there can never be anything more between them. The G-Unit member attempts to close his eyes but his mind is too wound up for him to catch sleep right away. Should he tell his boyfriend that a very small part of him enjoyed seeing his former best friend today? Both the conversation with 50 and the southern rapper sits heavily on his mind and is preventing his body from getting the sleep it so desperately needs. The only thing that keeps Banks from going completely over the edge is Marquise and how happy he was today. That moment will be burned into him forever because he went into it for all the right reasons after all.
The Sun rises and naturally brightens New York as the superstar rapper takes no notice of it whatsoever. His head is sandwiched in between two pillows and a blanket covers his almost naked body as it rejuvenates itself for the day ahead. When the rays of light become too overwhelming, 50 Cent finally arises and scratches his head before he begins his day. An early morning trip to the gym to tone his body steals the morning with it and he grabs lunch on the go because he has several important meetings scheduled for his afternoon. It is Monday and then when most of his meetings takes place, in the beginning of the week. A meeting at Interscope informs the G-Unit member that there is a tour in the works for Lloyd Banks as well as the upcoming album release party for Young Buck, whose record is planned to be in stores the following week. There are so many things to do and so little time to accomplish it all. After two endorsement meetings, 50 is back in his suite when he fetches his phone from the pocket of his shorts. He flips through it.
Lloyd Banks' number is the most recently dialed one displayed on his phone and as much as the buff rapper wants to give in and call him; it is not the time to do so. Business is at hand so he continues to search. "What up C boy?" Young Buck asks his friend.
"You excited nigga? That shit's droppin' next week."
"You know this. The first single climbing up the charts."
"Oh word? They didn't say anything to me. The meeting at Interscope was short though."
"Yea man. It's sitting at twenty right now."
"It'll get to one soon," 50 Cent says with confidence.
"I hope."
"It will. But ay, the release party gonna be on Monday."
"Straight. Where at?"
"Same club we had Banks' at. You cool with that?"
"I'm good," Buck says. "Club's nice."
"Yea."
"I want it to be out already. I'm dying here," he laughs.
"Chill nigga. Only a week to go."
"Dré was tellin' me about a possible tour."
"Yea. The execs want to push one. Especially with Banks because he's been out there longer."
"He know?"
"Nah. We still workin' it out. I'm thinking; we could wait like a month or two after yours drops then you two could hit the road together."
"Ay that's not a bad idea."
"So you'd be down to co-headline?" 50 asks his friend.
"Straight to me," the G-Unit rapper replies. "Banks' would be cool with it too. He's a good kid."
"I'll see if I can work that out for you boys."
"I owe you one C. Tight work."
"Get at me kid. I'm out."
"Yea. One."
Within the next couple days, the entire night is planned and everyone knows about it. Young Buck cannot wait to get his voice out to the fans as the days slowly drag by for him. He is busy traveling across the country doing every type of interview and promotion for his album while 50 Cent is still in New York trying to think about work but other things cloud his mind. His afternoon is clear, a rarity in itself, so he decides to pick his son up from school and hang out with him. Seeing Marquise manages to numb his pain and he is addicted to that because the hurt is overwhelming at times, even though he will never admit to himself why he is hurt. It cannot be for that reason. It just cannot be. They play and relax for the rest of the evening until the superstar rapper forcefully has to leave the six-year-old. It becomes increasingly harder to say goodbye to him and it continually eats away at 50 every time he has to do so. Back at his hotel, the G-Unit member falls onto his bed and immediately slumbers away as the silky sheets caress his hard and tight body. He is still.
Something deadly is chasing after him. Something he cannot see but he can feel and it is scaring him immensely. There is barely any light as he is running for his life in a place that is unknown. His heart is rapidly beating out of his chest and his legs feel like they are going to give out on him at any minute but he cannot stop because if he is caught then it will surely be the end as he knows it. 50 Cent does not turn around but instead keeps running; adrenaline is invading his body and giving him the strength to keep running but it will not last forever. The frightened rapper will eventually fail and have to face the consequences of that; his own life. It cannot be right. He has never felt this way before and does not know how to accept it. 50 grasps for breath and in a moment of uncontrolled weakness, he trips on darkness and falls hard onto the floor. When he finally recovers, he feels it. It is close. So close to him. A shadow appears from its home of pure darkness. Two red eyes pierce his soul and his insides frantically burns and screams.
Sweat drips off the dark ebony skin of the rapper as he jumps up on his bed and screams. His whole body is wet and shaking as he tries to calm down but it is to no avail. He quickly reaches over and flicks on the lamp on the nightstand next to the bed before staring into nothingness. His heart rate is through the roof and his mind attempts to filter a trillion thoughts at once, causing a severe headache. 50 does not know where he is or what is going on with him. He is in trouble. Something is not right and it is killing him. After the G-Unit rapper takes numerous deep breaths to calm down, his heart rate starts to returns to normal and his brain starts to return to its state of normalcy. He cautiously and hesitantly leaves the light of the room to walk into the dark abyss of the rest of the suite to the kitchen. 50 Cent quickly flicks on the switch to activate the fluorescent lights above his head before he searches for a glass to get something inside his body. It is all too intense, even for him, and for the first time in a very long time, he is scared of the future. His unknown.
Back in the room once again, the troubled star feels through the damp bed to find his phone. Once his fingers touch the cold metal, he grabs onto it and leaves the room once again, dialing in the process. "Hello?" a bleary voice comes back. It is low and barely understandable.
"Chris. It's me Curtis."
"Curtis? What time is it?" His voice is unchanged.
"Four. Were you sleeping?"
"Yes. It's four in the morning. What happened?" Banks asks as he sits up on his bed and rubs his eyes in the darkness. "Is everything aight?" He clicks the lamp on and his eyes squint profusely to adjust to all the new light in the room.
Silence lingers on the line. "Are you still in NY?"
"For the minute. Why?"
"Buck's release party is a few days away. Just wanted to make sure you knew about it and all---" he starts to lie.
"What? You called me at four in the morning to tell me that man?" the G-Unit rapper is almost angry.
"Yea. Can never be too sure---"
"What the hell? This couldn't wait `til morning?"
"Just wanted to let you know---"
"I already know. Dré told me yesterday."
"Oh," 50 Cent's mind stops in its tracks. His rhythm is ruined and there is another weird silence through the line.
"Curtis it's four in the morning---"
"I know that."
"So why are you calling me this late?" Banks asks in an impatient voice. What games is the older man playing at?
"I already told you. To tell you when Buck's album release party is."
"Aight. I got the memo on that. We done then?"
"I---"
"I'm out kid. Later."
"Bye Chris---" 50 says but soon realizes that he is talking to himself because the line is severed.
The buff rapper resumes charging his phone and clicks the lamp next to him off but his eyes will not close. He is still so shaken up with the nightmare and hearing Lloyd Banks' voice that his mind cannot give him rest right away. His eyes are glued to the ceiling; the room is only barely lit by stray lights from the outside world. 50 rests his hand on the upper left region of his chest to feel his own heartbeat. It is still slightly faster than it should be but he is not complaining considering how rapid it was when he was startled awake moments ago. The dream is worrying him because he does not know what it means or even how to begin to interpret it. He cannot sleep here. Gathering up the blanket and two pillows from the bed, he navigates his way through the darkness into the living room. 50 Cent makes a makeshift bed out of the comfortable sofa present there and tries to put everything out of his mind to get the rest he wants. The rest he is entitled to and was getting before that nightmare seeped in and took over his vulnerable mind. Sleep grasps at him.