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Chapter 16 - Monday's ups and downs
"Richard, sir. I don't think this is a good idea." He said with a weak grin I traveled with my hands down his neck to his shoulders and put my arms around his chest. I slowly licked the back of his nape and leaned to his ear. I took his earlobe in my teeth and pulled slightly. "Why is that, Nathaniel?" He hummed in his deep erotic voice. I pressed myself against his back and tightened my embrace. I tried to be rough and strong, but deep down, I felt weak, exposed, and desperate in a way. Who would have thought? Me... I built this confidence from the ground up, and all I did since leaving this damned house was to work on becoming stronger. I have been with this guy for days, and I already let him go further than some of my boyfriends after months of dating. Is he that special, or am I that desperate...? Bit of both?
I rubbed my nose in his hair and smelled their scent. This would be so much easier if I kept my feelings in check. He leaned his head to the side and turned slightly. I moved my head, and all we did was look into each other's eyes. He put his hand on my temple and turned his body towards me. He hugged me and brushed my hair slightly. He looked like he was contemplating something within himself while watching me. Then he leaned in and kissed me with the softest kiss ever. I brushed my lips on him after he left them, begging for more.
We kissed for a few minutes when he raised my shirt and touched my abs traveling to the hem of my pants. I caressed his firm glutes and started to kiss his neck before he slowly dropped to his knees and pulled my dick out. He started expertly sucking it, but that wasn't enough for me anymore. I took him by his jaw and made him stand up and turn back to the counter while kissing him from the side.
I went into his pants, and soon my finger penetrated his crack feeling the hot wetness. My cum was still inside. That gave me fucking goosebumps, and my dick jerked, begging to fuck him. "Fuck, that is so hot!" I coarsely whispered into his ear. He was loose enough, and I looked into his eyes with an obvious question. He smiled, and I pushed his pants down. Just enough to enter him. I put my hand to his lips. "Lick it for me, boy." He never broke eye contact as he vulgarly licked my palm and fingers, smearing his spit on them. I couldn't take much more. I lubricated with it my cock and pushed it in. He braced himself against the counter as he pushed his butt towards me, moaning quietly. I started slowly caressing his back beneath his shirt. Then my cock head found his button, and he let out fucking deep, silent growl that just did it for me. I started trusting faster as he tightened himself around me.
After a few minutes, I was close and didn't wait. This time I just pulled his hips harder and closer with one hand, and with the second, I reached around his pecs, holding them for dear life. I came and started shaking while lying on him.
I composed myself and pulled out slowly. Mesmerized I watched his pussy gaping for me, adding to his cum deposit. I fucking loved it. He smiled like he had just won something and was very cool about it. He looked smug. I pulled his pants up in the back and moved him a couple of steps from the counter, kneeling in front of him with a grin. I put his cock in my mouth and started to suck his cum out of him. "Richard." "You should finish the meal." I winked at him and came back to his dick. I loved the taste, and I licked all his precum out of the slit, then sucked him whole into my mouth, disregarding my gagging. It took just a few minutes, and I felt his silent moans. He started shaking, and soon his balls sprayed my throat with his cum. Tasty. I loved it!
Then I dressed him appropriately and grinned at him from down there. He just started laughing and sat next to me.
Leaning on my arm with his, he kissed me. "I know it will be weird now. And I hate myself for doing this, but you know that call this morning?" "Yes?" "It was my secretary. She found out there is a huge issue with one of my projects; if I don't deal with it, it can become a real mess. I will probably sleep behind my computer, and even while making this meal, I couldn't think of much else." "Finally, I know what men think about when I am having sex with them." He laughed, "No, you took my mind off it." He kissed me again, but this time, I felt the "But" coming. "But I need to concentrate on it. If there would be the possibility to work at the office, I wouldn't probably even come home for a week." "It will take a week?" "Deadline I cannot miss is in four weeks, but if I slept for 3 hours a night, I suppose I could do it in a week." "Fuck. It's that bad?" "Worse, but I don't give into desperation that easily." He tried to smirk, but the emotion hasn't reached his eyes
"I know it's probably a stupid question, but can I help you somehow?" "Most things that would help me are, I suppose, a bit out of your comfort zone." "So it's something with Ash." "She feels lonely in there. When she was in quarantine the first time, we called each other every day two or three times. I will find time here and there to go to her, but I think the two of you could use some door between you and real talk for once." "All that it will do is make us fight more." "For a fight, there must be two people, Richard. She's not such a bad person as you perceive her." "She had many chances to prove that to me." "So did you, Richard. And let's be honest, the first week you've been here, I didn't kick you out just out of politeness because you are her brother, and I tend to try to look at people from more angles than they show."
I had to admit he was right. I didn't give Ashley much of a chance. I suppose we are both hurt so much that we proactively defend ourselves by being offensive. "This would be much easier if now I wouldn't have to think about fucking her husband. Wouldn't it be easier if I just looked at it like she is a bitch?" "I suppose you could feel a bit better like that, but you know deep down it's not true. In this equation, we are the assholes." He sighed and looked in front of him. This was the first time I saw regret in him since that night we slept together on Thursday.
"Don't you think it will be harder even for her if we settle our differences and find a way to each other?" "I don't know, but I think you both deserve it. To have a sibling, you care for. But honestly, with the two of you, it will be amazing progress if you manage to stay civil to each other." "Do you have siblings?" He blinked like he tried to forbid his eyes from crying. I don't know why but seeing that moved me. He raised himself and started working again on the counter. "I don't want to talk about that. Another time Richard, if that's ok." "Sure." I thought about what could make such a reaction when I heard vibration.
My phone rang. I looked at it, Ben was calling me. Great, just when I feel like going to my room and staying in my bed for the rest of my life, the most active person I know must call. "Hi, Ben. What's up?" - You with your boyfriend? "He is not my boyfriend, Ben, but yeah, he's here." Nate looked at me with an expression I couldn't quite read and raised his eyebrow. - He looked fit; does he work out? "Yes, why?" - I am getting crazy over here, and there is just so much I can lay on Peter. I am getting some guys together to train. Do you lovebirds want to join? "What, guys?" - Ross and Ted, me and Courtney. "When?" Honestly, I would jump into the car this minute. Just the idea of meeting those guys made me want to hit bars. Ted is a competitive bodybuilder. He's rough around the edges but fantastic support in training. He knows what to train and when, to make your body look like a sculpture you've imagined. He can be challenging, but when you get to know him, he's a genuine sweetheart. I have no idea if he's straight or gay because he just keeps that to himself. Ross is a grown jock. Keeping himself fit while working in sales, so he knows when to push you and when to back up. He is gay and calls himself "Alpha top." He is a bit too much sometimes, but he can pull it off. I can understand why Ben called them. They have exactly what he's probably missing--single top energy with lots of testosterone and no hard feelings. I suppose living with a child and a lovely husband has its downs. Courtney is a special deal. She is, firstly, a great athlete and can easily keep up with us, but she is one of those people that will cut through your bullshit like a razor if she spots one. - So far, it seems Wednesday and Friday at six in Ross's basement. He really upped his game since COVID; he's got a little gym with pretty much everything over there and even built boulders on one wall. "Damn!" - I was there, and I nearly cried. It was beautiful! You will love it! "Sounds amazing! I will ask Nate, but he's got some issues at work that keep him busy." - Oh, I thought the two of you could use some safe space with Mrs. in the house. "That's nearly considerate of you." - I still don't approve 100%, but I suppose you are both adults, and I am not your conscience. "Riiight..." I prolonged the word on purpose, knowing that watching Nate would give him more than enough drive to fuck Peter hard after every training session. I kind of like that idea. - Then ask him and let me know. "I will." Silence. Is he thinking now? I waited a bit more. - So? When are you going to ask him? "Tonight." - Man, you killing me here! I had to laugh. He sounded like a teenager bouncing with excitement. - Is Ash in quarantine? "Yeah, she is staying in her downstairs office." - So you can enjoy the house in the meanwhile. He is fishing for more details. I smiled at myself. "We will see. Ok, I will ask Nate, but I am definitely in. I will see you Wednesday." I pressed the end of the call, watching my phone with satisfaction as I heard Ben's voice trying to say something. I loved to tease him. It was fun.
Nate had Ashley's meal prepared and was about to bring it to her door. He looked at me, tray in hand. "What you wanted to ask me?" "Ben and a few guys are making private gym." "I thought they must be all closed now." "Yeah, it's just three guys and Courtney; we can be sure no one will make an issue of it or call authorities on us. I suppose we all do a home test like when we went to Ben's. Ross made his basement into a gym, and Ben is more excited than a high school cheerleader. By the way, Ross built a boulder on one wall." "Damn!" He put the tray down, now genuinely disappointed. "I can't!" "It's from six every Wednesday and Friday. Are you sure?" "This Wednesday, there's no chance, I will think about it. But I can't make any promises." "Ok, I will tell them." "Richard. I need to take this to Ashley, but I will need to eat upstairs. I've spent more time here than I should have." "I get it. I need to sort some things out myself. It will be good."
I picked up a plate with renewed life energy and looked forward to Wednesday. Nate glanced at me again with that longing but unreadable face and went to bring the tray to Ashley.
The rest of the day went faster than I expected. As I sat down, I went into a satisfying flow and did more than I set out to do in the morning. I made regular breaks for stretching and some light exercises, and I started to feel like myself again. I missed working out with Nate, but the day went so quickly that I barely thought of him. It was around seven in the evening when I finished and went out to get something to eat.
From the stairs, I heard Nate's deep voice laughing and Ashley's hushed chuckles. I looked, and Nate sat on a pillow at Ashley's door, and he seemed like he was having a good time. I felt my throat squeeze, and my stomach turned. I thought about going back into my room, but I was starving. Nate's eyes scanned mine as I stepped down, and he smiled a bit. "Do you want to join us? We are having a door picnic." "That's a lame name." "Then come up with something better on the way here." "No thanks, I am hungry; I am going to eat something." "That's a great idea. I haven't eaten anything since lunch. Ashley, do you want to eat something?" He asked towards the door "Yes, sure. Thank you, dear." I heard her voice I cringed. She just single-handedly destroyed the word "dear" for me. Then I thought, why do I care this much? I am weird. I am doing everything not to address him like my boyfriend, yet I mind that his wife is calling him "dear"... if someone listened to my thoughts, they would think I am crazy.
I went into the kitchen, hearing Nate stand up and go behind me. Part of me wanted to mount him and claim him mine, and another didn't want to have anything to do with him. I just went to the fridge and started doing something light. Soon Nate stood next to me and wordlessly helped me in preparation.
I realized again how good of a team we are. But maybe that's just his usual self. He is compatible with anyone as he is so damn perfect in everything. I felt like a loser. "Richard?" "Yes?" "It's too hard, is it?" "No... yes... I don't know Nate. What do you want me to say?" He just nodded "I thought you said you would be working and won't have time for anything else." Stupid, why have I said that? I sound like a jealous mistress. "I felt sorry for her being all alone, and I said I will try to find the time to be there for her." "Will you try and find time for me, too, or am I not desperate enough." "Richard, does it help you to lash out when you feel hurt? Because from my experience, it only creates more harm."
I threw the spoon I was just working with on the counter and left. My heart was beating out of my chest, my throat was dry, and all I wanted was for them to hurt as much as I was hurting. I knew he was right, but I didn't have the strength to admit it. Feeling angry just seemed more manageable and more natural for me. I was hungry, but I went to my room and slammed the door.
This was a huge mistake. Everything! I shouldn't have come to live here in the first place. What was I thinking? I went onto my computer and downloaded steam. Years ago, when I started my first business, I removed all games from it to avoid distraction. But now I just wanted to shoot something, to lose myself in a made-up world. To think about other problems than my fucked up life.
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I. Dusk