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- Chapter - What a Friday
"How old are you, Nathaniel?" I asked, laying on top of him and playing with his hair. "38 till next March." I chuckled a little. I liked that Nate's older, yet he loves me to make him my bitch. I never called him a bitch. I have to make a mental note of that. I thought "What do you laugh at, Rick? How old are you?" "35"
" Can I ask something?" "I don't know, can you?" " Why are you still single at 35?" " Is there something wrong with being single at 35? " " No, sorry, of course not. I was just curious. Have you thought about having a family or something like that?" " I don't know. There were a few men in my life I think I loved, and sure, I did think about things like having family, but it always ended before it could get to that. After the last one, I just decided to concentrate on my business. " "How many men have you been with?" "Oh no, are we having this conversation now? How many women have you been with?" "Five. " "Why do you want to know it anyway?" "Well, to be honest, I was just curious, and I didn't know it would be as big of a deal as it seems now." "No, it's just that I don't know." "You don't know how many men you've slept with?" "No, I didn't feel the need to count all the hook-ups and one-night stands." "And you call me a slut." He laughed "You are slut for my dick." I winked at him "Ok then, how many relationships have you had?" "Four."
We were silent for a minute. "Can I ask you something?" He must have heard something in my tone cos he answered with caution. "Ask." "Are you prepared to ruin everything and start anew with your life just a little before 40?" I don't know why. The words just flew out. I looked at Nate, but I couldn't keep looking at him after he looked at me like I had just broken something beautiful. I just felt sad. Torn. I couldn't imagine how he must feel right now. It's different to make up ideas of possible ways to defile your hot brother-in-law when you know that it's mostly just an imagination, but once you lay there with him and you realize that you care, you don't want to see him hurt and somehow you can't un-see the damage you about to cause.
"I don't know." "You don't know." I sighed and looked from the window, hurt for some selfish reason that eluded me. "I don't mind saying I don't know when I don't. And I can admit my mistakes because I own every decision I make. And I learn from each outcome." He said defiantly. "That's nice pep talk Nathaniel, but we are talking about people with lives and feelings, not some projects."
"Why do you have to make this so difficult on me?" "Maybe it's too real for me, and I am not as big of an asshole as I thought." "Yet you are laying on me after you just fucked me for over an hour." "It's hard for me to restrain myself when you are teasing me like that, and you knew that." "It's hard for me too. I never felt this alive as I do these past few weeks. Even when I was crying myself to sleep from regret and guilt, I never felt more real. I have many friends, Rick, but I never enjoyed spending time with anyone like I am with you. Maybe it's only because of this damn lockdown but damn... you can look at me sometimes in a way my whole body shivers. And I think I've got addicted to that feeling when you're close. The way you smell calms me down and excites me every time I feel it."
"Quarantine romance," I remembered when Jerry told me he didn't want one. "Who knows if we would ever feel that if the world around us didn't call for social distancing."
"Kiss me, Richard." He pleaded, his eyes looking for closure. I raised my eyebrows at the name he had just used. Not sure how I feel about that. "I don't think anyone ever in my life called me Richard." "I thought Rick was short for Richard." "Yeah, but I've just never been called that." "Is it something with your grandfather?"
With that remark, I just sat and turned away. "Have I..?" His words were cut short when my phone started ringing. I just went for it and saw that Jerry's calling. I didn't even know what to feel right now. So I sighed and pressed to answer.
"Hi, Jerry." I looked at Nate, and he went full stone-cold mask that moment. I couldn't read a thing in his expression, but given that I hadn't seen that face since we first kissed, I didn't think he was ok with it. He sat on the bed and watched me quietly. No judgment in his eyes, just stone-calm observation. - Hi, daddy. It's been some time. How are you doing? I am getting crazy over here. "Tell me about it," I said sternly - Is your sister back yet? "No, she's coming back Monday." - And that hottie brother-in-law? Was he ok? "Yeah, sure, he's fine." - Rick darling, is everything ok over there? You sound like this conversation is painful or something. Do you want to talk? "Thanks, Jerry, but not really. I have a few issues I need to deal with right now on my own" - Sure, I get that. Could you perhaps use a distraction? I had to smile weakly. You would have to know this little man to know how caring he is. And I appreciated it. But there was nothing he could do, and I didn't feel like talking with him while Nate sat just a few feet from me. Even looking at him now, I saw that the moment I smiled, he froze a bit. "That's really kind of you, boy, but I don't think it would help at the moment." - Sure, daddy, if anything, call me. "Sure, thank you, Jerry." It was hard for me not to call him boy again, as I saw Nate's brow twitch when I called him boy just then.
I ended the call and set the phone back on the desk. Nate was watching me, silently sitting without movement. There was chaos in my head, and there was no place for me to hide and think it through. "I will go for a run. I need to sort out my thoughts." Nate just nodded slowly. He still hadn't said a word as he watched me get dressed and leave.
I put the hood on and blasted the running playlist in my ears. I ran until I could hear only noise in my ears, and no random thoughts were emerging from within my conscience. Just music and my breath. Just the road and street lights. I ran like this for some time and then decided to think again. Now I was a bit calmer. I liked Nathaniel. There was no question about it. I loved his hunger for my body and how he could take me. I adored him when he smiled and admired him when he talked. I liked how he moved, and I was fascinated with how he learned so fast things it took me years to get. Was he really living only with women before, thinking he was asexual? Is that even possible in today's day and age? He can lie, of course. But in the end, what does it matter?
Am I looking for a relationship with him? Does even that matter? He's married, and what's more, he's fucking married to Ash! I saw a familiar store and turned back because I was far now. Nothing will really matter if I stay there. There is no way we won't do it again. But I had to be honest with myself about one thing, I didn't want to leave either. I wanted this to continue and see where it goes. I fucking wanted him like no one ever. So even if I make the biggest mistake of my life, I want to go with it and burn with it if needed.
I will have to constantly remind myself that I am the side piece, and I will have to find the strength to leave when it becomes unbearable, but until then, I want to try it. Not for Nate but for me. Not because he's fucking good lay but because I want to get to know him as a person, as a man. But in that case, I need to make my peace with the possibility that I may be the one shattered into pieces in the end. Can I make my peace with that?
Fuck it! Fuck it all! Fucking bring it on! I ran faster. It felt like I was running from myself. Like I needed to reach Nathaniel before my self-doubt and reason would catch up to me. I needed to hold him this second! I saw our street. I sped up to a full sprint. I need to have him now! I opened the door and took my earphones, hoodie, and shoes off. I looked for Nate. Then everything stopped.
The living room was dark, with a single light next to the couch. I saw Nate sitting there sideways, legs in front of him, resting his head and shoulder on the back cushions. He got a book on his lap, but it didn't seem like he was reading. He looked at me, quiet, calm, stoic. I came to him and sat behind him on the couch, moving him slightly to sit between my legs, his back to me. I put my arms around him and laid my head on his shoulder, breathing fast and erratic but somehow, deep inside, I felt calm. I sat there for a while, getting my breath under control.
"My grandfather was Richard," I said in deep silence between us. "Since I remember, no one ever called him that, cos he hated it. That is what his father was called. So, everyone called him Rick. I was named after him. Even though there is Richard on my papers, no one was ever allowed to call us anything other than Rick. I remember once a new mailman came and called him Richard, just reading off his fucking envelope. Grandfather started yelling at him so bad that I was afraid to sleep that night.
Since I remember, I have hated that name. But I was even more afraid to be called anything other than that. I suppose if one grows up with some ideology, one just gets used to it. No matter how they feel about it. I think It's just kind of fucking conditioning."
Nate lightly touched my arms, but he let me speak. "I always hated him. He was demanding and forced the whole family into submitting anything he decided. There was no questioning him if he said something." "He, of course, hated gays. Like hated with passion and disgust. He lived through all the gay movements, and the fact that they `won' as he called it, made him really vicious. He called them perverts, that was the only name he ever used for them, and some of the things he said about them shook me to my core. I hated him, but I was afraid for my life when I realized I liked boys. Even more when I fell in love." I swallowed tears as I continued without thinking much through. Those words just poured out. "He was the reason I seriously thought about ending it. If it weren't for Steve, I would do it back then."
I realized some tears fell on his shirt as I remembered things I was not able to say to anyone ever, not even Steve. I stopped. I couldn't bring myself to go into detail just yet. Things about the grandfather and things about Ashley, my parents...
Nate waited patiently, and after a moment of silence, he turned to me. His eyes were watery as he took my cheek and kissed me. We kissed for a while when he raised himself and straddled me, still kissing me slowly. We stopped and rested our foreheads on each other. "I like Richard," I said in a whisper. "I like you, Richard." He said in the same whisper, caressing my hair. I looked at him. "I like you, Nathaniel." He smiled a little at that. He kissed my eyelids and my cheeks, holding me close.
"I don't know if I can handle living with the two of you, especially if you decide to stay with Ashley. But I am not going to force your decision. I will stay as long as I will be able to take it, but I will leave if it becomes too hard to bear." I was looking at him seriously "Thank you" "You have some time to figure out what you want, Nathaniel. But don't take it for granted, cos I will not be your side piece for years. If I fall in love with you and you decide to stay here, you will have to find another dick to help you figure things out. I love myself more than to do that to me. Is that clear?" "Yes," he kissed me gently and laid his body on me. I loved the way his muscles fit with mine.
I felt so many emotions at once. I felt profoundly caring for this man yet also resentful for the decisions I have to make and the pain it's causing me. I wanted to make love to him and, at the same time, punish him. I wrapped my fingers around the hair at the nape of his neck and pulled on them slightly. He looked at me, and I shifted, so I was kneeling above him as I pushed him onto his back to lie on the couch. I kissed his adam's apple and felt like he was swallowing his moans in a dry throat. I kissed my way down his neck to his shoulder while, with my second hand, I unbuttoned his button-down shirt, slowly peeling it off his chest.
When I uncovered a nipple, I gently bit it and pulled, covering it with my tongue. Nate moaned underneath me and held my wrist on his nape, and with his second hand, he took hold of my hair as well. As I unbuttoned the shirt to the belly, I went over there. He didn't have prominent abs, but there was a beautiful definition, and his stomach was hard as a rock. I licked his belly button and trailed his open shirt to the cotton pants below. He stopped breathing for a second as I opened his fly and pulled them down his legs.
`Now wearing only grey boxer briefs with a hard cock in them. I let go of him and sat, watching him lay there, trailing my hands over his torso and covered dick. Then, as I looked into his dazed green eyes, I slowly removed his briefs and lowered myself onto his cock, taking it in. He took my head and bobbed slowly into my mouth. Then I licked his balls, went to his taint, and kissed his crack before licking it. He moaned so sweetly that I could stay here for a while, but I now had different urges.
I sat back again and removed my sweaty shirt. Then, watching Nate's expression, I pulled down my pants along with my jock and laid between his spread, welcoming legs. I kissed his jaw and went to his lips as I prepared to fuck that pussy a third time today. Damn, I couldn't get enough of him, could I?
I kissed him as I slowly forced his hole open for me. I took his wrists in my hands and held them above his head as I made him mine. "Whose pussy is this boy?" I asked, looking at him patiently "Yours, Richard." I kissed him harder than I had planned, but he reciprocated without shame. I started trusting in deep hard thrusts as he moaned into my mouth. "You are so fucking beautiful, Nathaniel. Fuck, you are still so tight I am getting crazy." I started trusting faster "This is what you want?" "Yes, Richard, give me more." I increased the tempo, and he was now screaming incoherently, mad with pleasure, "Yes!" "Oh damn... fuck.." "Richard, take me!" "This is what you need, Nathaniel?" "Yes, I need you. Take me, please. Harder!" I braced myself on his arms and started pounding into him fast, reducing him to a screaming madman shaking under me. "Richard, kiss me please, make me cum, breed me. Please breed me!" I took one hand and put it in front of him. "Lick it good, boy." And so he did, smeared it well with his spit, and I then engulfed his pulsing dick and started jerking him.
Kissing his lips, our tongues dancing around one another, jerking his swollen hard cock, and ramming full speed into him. Then his body started to shake as he sprayed his cum on our bellies and the tightness of his spasming hole made me cum for the fourth time today. I screamed!
Afterward, we just lay there and looked at each other. Then, my thoughts started spiraling again, so I decided to stand up and clean myself. The closest was the bathroom in Ashley's office, but I went up instead. "Shower?" I said on the way and went up the stairs, hearing him jump off the couch and catch up with me.
We showered each other and kissed while soaping and rinsing. "I love this smell," I said as he applied his oil after turning off the shower. "Do you?" "Yeah, I felt it the first time we bumped into each other the day I came." "You mean when you rammed into me from the stairs?" "I think you weren't looking where you were going either," I smirked at him. "Fair. It was an intense afternoon." "True." I watched him smear the oil on his stomach "But continue. You love the way I smell, too, then." He smirked at me cutely "Of course I do. It's not like you are the only one with a nose." I grinned at him, still watching him obscenely. "Tell me more, Richard." "You like calling me that." I looked into his happy green eyes "Do you mind?" "No, I like it." I looked at his hands, now oiling his muscled thighs and calves. "I think I picked it up the first day, but as you said, it was way too much to deal with that day. But I smelled it each time we were very close, and I started to notice it more and more after some time. I think. It suits you."
He smiled. I thought if saying that I used it generously on Jerry before fucking him would be taken well or not, but I decided not to risk it now. He finished and came to me, smearing it on my chest and arms and moving down to my dick and balls. Kissing me. Then he turned me around, facing my back, putting oil on it. "You're right. It smells good on you, too, even though I prefer the smell of your cum and sweat, to be honest." He whispered into my ear as his hands glided to my glutes.
"Stay with me tonight," Nate said as he was oiling my butt, traveling to my hole. "I don't think I can have any more sex tonight." I smiled "Not for sex. Sleep next to me." "I don't want to sleep in Ashley's bed." "Can I sleep in yours?" I sighed. "I don't really like sharing the bed with someone." "Is that a no?" He caressed my butt cheek, and I felt his tongue on my asshole. "Fuck Nate, that's good. But seriously, I am drained today." "I don't want to have sex. I just felt like kissing you here." "Fuck." I exhaled from pleasure "I thought you said you were drained." I heard the smile in his tone mocking me.
He oiled each of my legs as he lightly licked my hole, then oiled each foot, and the sensations were godly. "Ok." He stopped and smacked my ass. "I suppose you are good to go." I laughed weakly and went out of the shower, taking him by hand. We dried ourselves and brushed our teeth next to each other. He proceeded with short night skin care. I just watched him, liking what I saw. His naked body glistened before me like a methodically carved masterpiece taking care of himself. I must have had a smile on my face cos when he looked at me, he just beamed.
He finished and stood there. "So, which door should I go through?" He asked without any judgment in his voice. I liked that I felt he was fine with my choice. Whatever I choose, as if he understands. I came to him and kissed him. I knew I would need some space, but at the same time, I knew Ash was coming back home just two days from now. I wanted to enjoy him in the meantime. "I don't do spooning or touching. I can't sleep if someone is touching me. And I may snore."
Nate just smiled. "I suppose I can touch you before you fall asleep, right Richard?" I sighed. He is going to use my name a lot now. I kissed him "Right, Nathaniel." Is this going to be our thing now?
We lay in my bed, covered and naked, talking about everything and anything. It was fun and pleasant. We spoke like buddies who met after a long time and immediately started on the same wavelength again. We laughed a lot and kissed even more. It must have been well after one o'clock when we were so sleepy we started dozing off.
Nate kissed me. "I am going to sleep now. Good night Richard." "Good night Nathaniel." Definitely is becoming a thing. With that, he moved away a little so we both had enough space to sleep and laid on his side facing me, slowly closing his eyes and smiling. I watched him for a while and soon fell asleep too.
What a Friday
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I. Dusk